Deadliest Warrior: Ray's Edition
by Sarge Ray
Summary: Warriors come from all around to face off. So, who is deadliest? Current matchup: Captain America vs. King Bradley
1. Star Fox vs 501st Legion

**Star Fox**

(Fox McCloud is standing in the black background, then takes aim at the screen with his blaster)

Elite pilots, soldiers, and guerrilla fighters created to help defend the Lylat System.

(Fox is seen with Falco, Slippy, and Krystal fending off other armored soldiers with guns in hand.)

**The 501****st**** Legion**

(A man in white armor, some blue on the helmet and shoulders, readies his own assault rifle)

The extreme-trained clone troopers that ultimately brought victory to the Clone Wars.

(Several of clone troopers were opening fire on battle droids, turning them into scrap metal)

_WHO IS DEADLIEST?_

_To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first-century science, we find out what would happen when the two go toe-to-toe._

_No rules, no safety, no mercy: It's a duel to the death to decide who is…_

_**The Deadliest Warrior**_

In the fight club, an aging rabbit and a green-clad dog were practicing shooting blasters. Not too far away, two men in white armor were also practicing aim with their assault rifles.

_Welcome to the Fight Club, where a team of doctors, scientists, and combat experts take aim to see who will win between two of the greatest fighting forces in the galaxy._

_The Star Fox Team: determined mercenaries whose loyalties lie with Corneria's militia._

_Vs…_

_The 501__st__ Legion: efficient and adaptable clone troopers that spelled doom for the CIS._

**Star Fox:**

**Height: 6'**

**Weight: 152lbs**

**Gear: 35lbs**

**Armor: Power Mesh**

**--**

**501****st**** Legion:**

**Height: 6'**

**Weight: 140lbs**

**Gear: 50lbs**

**Armor: Armor-plast**

A white hedgehog with cowboy boots, a golden mane, and unmatching gloves walked in.

_Biomedical engineer and media expert,_ _**TLSoulDude**__, will test to see how much damage the weapons used will cause._

"This fight will be so cool because both are packing firearms, explosives, and aid equipment." TL explained, "This is going to be close…"

A green raptor-creature with wings walked in, inspecting a ballistics gel torso.

_Biologist and historian, __**Dimensiondude**__, will gauge the deadly efficiency of each weapon._

"I'll tell you if something's dead, knocked out, or merely winded." D-Dude explained, "With these explosives, it will be a tight match."

A short, redheaded, spiky-haired guy came in and typed a few things into a computer to make sure it was ready to go.

_Computer wiz, __**Lunatic 121**__, will take the test results and download it into a computer by Slytherine Studios all to simulate a fight to the finish between the two warriors._

"What makes this fight so unique is that NEITHER Star Fox or the 501st have met in the field of battle. We'll be rewriting history here and now." Lunatic said, excitedly.

_Since both wield firearms with deadly precision, Lunatic sets things up for a four-on-four squad scuffle. Four Star Fox cadets against four 501__st__ Clone Troopers._

_Our Star Fox experts are confident that the Cornerian soldiers will be victorious._

The aging rabbit and green-clad dog take guns in hand. The rabbit had gray fur, glasses at the bridge of his nose, and a red suit under a white coat.

_**Peppy Hare **__knows Star Fox inside and out. Formerly a field man and pilot for the team, Peppy's best friend was James McCloud, father of the team's current leader._

"If you're going to start a fight with Star Fox, forget it." Peppy warned, waggling his furry finger at the camera, "Star Fox is the best of the best of the best. When Corneria wants a job done, we go in and get it done. No one can beat us."

The green-clad dog nodded with a grin, then tossed a grenade in the air before catching it.

_**Bill Grey**_ _is a soldier of Katina, able in air combat and firearms used by the Cornerian Army. Bill has ties to Star Fox, his former training partner being the leader of Star Fox himself, Fox McCloud._

"Star Fox will destroy this 501st Legion." Bill said, confidently, "They're better strategists, better field men, and I don't care that you're wearing armor. It's not protecting them any better than the Aparoids' did."

_The Star Fox Team was first founded shortly after the exile of an evil scientist named Andross. After his father died, Fox McCloud, son of James McCloud, formed a new Star Fox Team with his friends Falco Lombardi and Slippy Toad. Their numbers boosted after a mission on the planet Sauria, with the addition of Krystal._

_The opposition is also confident that the clone troopers will be the ones left standing._

On the other side of the Fight Club, two men in white armor were practicing their aim with assault rifles. One was a clone that had yellow patches on his arms, helmet, and sides.

_**Commander Cody **__fought in the Clone Wars and has ties to the 501__st__ Legion. He fought alongside Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi and helped him achieve victory on the battles of Kamino and Jabiim._

"Star Fox consists of only four agents made to go in, get what's needed, and get out." Cody said, taking his helmet off to reveal the face of Jango Fett, "We go in, destroy the enemy, then report back to base to find something ELSE to wipe out."

Another clone with white armor inspected what appeared to be an explosive.

_**Private Fives **__is a clone trooper who has witnessed, first-hand, the savagery of battle. He joined the 501__st__ Legion after losing most of his comrades and has proven an excellent field-man._

Fives also had the face of Jango Fett, only he had a different haircut than Cody. "You can't compare Star Fox to us. We defeated the CIS, decimated the Jedi Order, and dominated the Clone Wars. If they couldn't defeat us, c'mon, how could Star Fox?" Fives asked.

_The 501__st__ Legion was part of the great Clone Wars, created to counter the droid forces of the Corporation of Independent Systems. Each clone was created from the DNA of a rough and tough bounty hunter named Jango Fett. And they were bred to do only one thing: warfare._

_In battle, Clone Troopers would arm themselves with an iconic Star Wars weapon._

"THIS was a clone's best friend." Commander Cody said, holding up a black, long-barreled blaster, "If you gave us a choice between a pretty girl or a good weapon, we'd take a good DC-15 any day of the week."

_The DC-15 Assault Rifle: a handy, adaptable, and DEADLY blaster weapon that virtually every clone trooper carried into battle._

DC-15 Assault Rifle:  
Length: 4 feet  
Weight: 15lbs  
Range: 100yds  
Shots: 250 rounds  
Speed: 900 rounds per minute

"Alright…" D-Dude said as Cody showed him the DC-15. The dragonsaur was a HUGE fan of Star Wars, after all. "The DC-15. How far can you shoot with this thing?"

"I'd say it's effective at three-to-four-hundred feet." Cody boasted, "It fires quickly, doesn't jam a lot, and it'll obliterate anything in its way."

"Well, this is WAY too dangerous to test in here." TL pointed out, "Let's take this outside."

_To test the lethality of the DC-15, the team heads outside to the firing range where a dummy is set up for target practice._

_Cody takes aim with the DC-15._

"Three!" D-Dude called, "TWO! ONE! FIRE!"

Commander Cody opened fire with the DC-15, the blaster unleashing a blizzard of blue packets of plasma. Each blast lacerated the target, burning holes in it. After a few seconds, Cody stopped and nodded in satisfaction.

"Suck on THAT, Star Fox!" Cody cheered, clenching his fist.

"Um…what you said; Star Fox?" Lunatic said, raising a finger, "With your accent…wouldn't use it too much."

_But how will the DC-15 fare in open warfare?_

TL led Cody and Fives to another section of the firing range to show a mock-scenario. Some dummies were set up, each in army uniforms.

"We have here six dummies representing six Cornerian soldiers." TL said, "Basically, I want to see you take them all out and do it while on the move, too."

"Don't mind if I do." Fives said, taking the DC-15 from Cody, then put his helmet on.

_Private Fives locks and loads…_

"Three! Two! One! Get it done!" TL called.

Cody opened fire on the first target, tearing holes into it, then sprinted away and fired at the next one, frying it with plasma. He rolled across the ground before getting down on one knee and blasting two more. He rolled to his feet, then sprinted and sprayed down the last two.

_The DC-15 gets the job done for the Clone Troopers of the 501__st__ Legion._

As deadly efficient as the DC is, our Star Fox experts are not worried.

"Ah, you can shoot unaware dummies any day." Bill stated, matter-of-factly, "Star Fox has some of the sharpest eyes and ears I've ever seen."

"Well, those ears and eyes aren't gonna help ya when we blow them off." Cody stated.

_Star Fox also has a traditional side arm of their own. One that they say packs more punch…_

"We live by this blaster." Peppy said, holding it to the camera barrel-up, "If we're on ground missions and something goes wrong, we simply reach into our packs, pull it out, and start firing. We HAVE to be ready and stick together."

_The Cornerian Blaster: Star Fox's weapon of choice that can charge a laser for a deadly strike._

Cornerian Blaster:  
Size: 3 feet  
Weight: 12lbs  
Range: 80yds  
Ammo: Limitless laser bolts  
Speed: 600 rounds per minute

"So, your answer to the DC-15 is this blaster?" TL said, holding the gun in his hand.

"Yep. And unlike that rifle, this thing doesn't run out of ammo and it doesn't overheat either." Peppy stated, "I can also charge up the blast and kill my enemy in an instant."

"True as that can be, it can't match our gun in range." Cody countered.

"I guarantee you, a charge shot from this blaster will blow a hole in you the size of a softball." Bill said, threateningly.

"But can it get through armor-plast?" Fives asked, patting the chest plate of his suit.

"No problem." Peppy said with a smile.

_To test the firepower of the Cornerian Blaster, the team heads to the firing range. Peppy takes aim at a dummy clad in Clone Armor-Plast._

"Three! Two! One! FIRE!"

Peppy fired the blaster and bursts of blue plasma similar to the DC-15's slugged the armored dummy, burning holes in the armor-plast. Peppy took a second, then charged the blaster before firing a large ball of red plasma at the dummy's helmeted head. The head flew right off on impact with the blast.

_The armor-plast gives way at the blaster bolt's fire, but were the regular shots enough to stop a clone trooper?_

Dimensiondude stripped away the armor plating and inspected the blast wounds in the dummy's abdomen.

"So, is he still kicking?" Peppy asked.

"Nope. This guy's dead." D-Dude stated, "That armor-plast is no protection from Star Fox's weapons."

_Both Star Fox and the 501__st__ Legion pack deadly firearms, but which one gets the edge?_

"All-in-all, I'm giving it to the DC-15." D-Dude stated, "The gun is faster and shoots at a far greater distance. That and the Cornerian blaster takes time to charge its blast."

"I'm going to give the edge to the Cornerian blaster." TL disagreed, "The blaster is FAR more reliable than the DC-15. It doesn't run out of ammo and is just as effective in range."

_With our experts divided, it's up to Lunatic to break the tie._

"Blaster vs. DC, it's a toughie, but I'm giving it to the DC-15." Loony said, "First shot, first kill, that's what I say. And we're going to see hits from the assault rifle before we see hits from the blaster."

_In assault rifles, the 501__st__ Legion gets the edge._

_--_

_In a battle to the finish between Star Fox and the 501__st__, anything can happen. Both were put on missions that was win-or-die, but that's where the similarity ends._

_Star Fox would plan their attacks out carefully before making their move._

"That's why we won all our battles." Peppy stated, clearly, "We think it out, go in, and win. And if a complication arises, we think of something else and make the best of it."

_The 501__st__ Legion's battle strategy was simpler. Go into the battle prepared for the worst and make things up as it went along._

"When a battle arises, you don't have time for thinking." Commander Cody said, "It's either act or die. And we've done a good job on the 'act' part."

_For maximum impact, both teams packed their own machine guns for maximum damage._

_The 501__st__ Legion's Z-6 chain gun: a nasty, multi-barrel gun capable of gunning down multiple enemies at once._

Z-6 Chain Gun:  
Size: 4.5 feet  
Weight: 50lbs  
Range: 100yds  
Ammo: 150 rounds  
Speed: 900 rounds per minute

_Star Fox also has a killer machine gun of their own: one they say packs more punch…_

_The Gatling Gun: A nasty, spraying weapon made to take out large numbers in a short amount of time._

Gatling Gun:  
Size: 3.5 feet  
Weight: 30lbs  
Range: 60yds  
Ammo: 100 rounds  
Speed: 1200 rounds per minute

"This is the part I was waiting for…" TL said, holding the Z-6 and barely holding it up, "The machine guns."

"I guarantee you that with these, no one will be alive after a good fire from this thing." Peppy assured them, holding up the gatling gun, "Just pull the trigger and it GOES."

"Yeah, you can spray down a HUGE amount of clankers with this thing." Cody said, taking the gun back.

_To test the firepower of the gatling gun and the Z-6, both teams are given targets made to simulate the enemy._

"Here's a group of Cornerian soldiers." Lunatic said, "What we're expecting you to do is simple: wipe 'em out."

"With pleasure." Cody said, smirking under his helmet.

_Cody takes aim with the Z-6…_

"THREE! TWO! ONE! LET 'ER RIP!"

The barrels of the Z-6 spun quickly for a second or two, then unleashed a hail of bolts in a straight direction, pumping a target with five rounds in under half a second. Cody swapped targets, moving on to the next guy and the next guy.

After fifteen seconds, he stopped firing.

"HOO!" Lunatic whooped, "You killed 'em all!"

Cody got out of his combat position, then nodded. "It's what we were born to do."

_The chain gun unleashes ten rounds per second, but can it hold a torch to the gatling gun?_

_Peppy takes his turn at the shooting range with a fresh target: clone trooper dummies…_

Peppy, clad in sunglasses, took the gatling gun in hand and braced himself. He looked over at the experts, then said, "Ready for action…"

"THREE! TWO! ONE! FIRE!"

Peppy pulled the trigger of the gatling gun and unleashed a flurry of blue energy. The bolts sprayed all over the battlefield, tearing through the wall, soldiers, and their armor. Soon, it clicked…empty.

_The Gatling Gun unleashes its hundred-round magazine in just five seconds._

"This is AWESOME!!!" TL said, looking over the damage.

"All these guys are dead, from both sides." D-Dude said, inspecting the dummies, "The Z-6 victims are down, the gatling victims are ALSO down."

"There's one way to test the true power of the gatling gun." Bill said, "And that was with barriers."

"No problem." Fives said, "I can take down a droideka with this thing."

_Both Star Fox and the 501__st__ boast their guns can go through defensive barriers. To find out, we find barrier-wielding enemies: a pair of droidekas._

_To start things off, Bill takes aim with the Gatling Gun with a fresh clip containing a hundred rounds._

"GO FOR IT!"

Bill sprinted across the field with the gatling gun and fired at the droideka's barrier. The blue bolts pelted the barrier and in just two seconds, the droideka was no more than a smoldering pile of scrap metal.

"Done and done." Bill said, blowing smoke off the barrel of his gun.

_The droideka's shield gives way to the gatling gun's great firepower. Now, it's time for the chain gun. Fives locks and loads…_

"GO!!!"

Fives planted himself, firmly in a kneeling position, then fired. A few bolts bounced off the shield, but in no time, the barrier gave way and the second droideka exploded into a pile of metal.

_So, which gun is deadlier? Loony's footage contains the answer._

"There we are…" Loony said, slowing down the footage of Peppy and Cody firing. "I don't like the fact that you have to wait a second or two with the chain gun in order to fire again. It's more accurate, but it still leaves your enemy with enough time to fire back."

D-Dude examined the footage of the gatling gun. "The gatling gun appears to be shooting faster, with greater strength, and even if your enemy moves away, another shot will down him. I'm giving the edge to the gatling gun."

_In machine guns, Star Fox gets the edge with the Gatling Gun._

_But in any battle, both can rely on bombs…_

"This is a handy little bugger." Cody said, holding up a silver sphere with a small, red light center. "This will flush enemies out of narrow passages, rooms, and blow up tanks."

_The Thermal Detonator: an iconic Star Wars bomb acting up when exposed to heat. When detonated, the bomb will wipe out all that are too close._

Thermal Detonator:  
Size: 4in diameter  
Weight: 2lbs  
Blast Radius: 8feet

"This little explosive is a must for any clone trooper." Fives said, holding out the bomb, "Just flip the little switch on top, throw it where you want it, and take cover."

_To simulate the damage, Private Fives decides to test the power of a thermal detonator inside a small car. Dummies are set around the car to test the killing power of the shrapnel…_

"So, should we be getting out of here?" Lunatic asked.

"I'd say keep your distance, little bugger." Cody advised as Fives readied the detonator.

Fives flipped the switch on the detonator, then threw it into the car's side window. He took cover until "BOOM". The car exploded into several chunks of metal.

Since TL and Loony were the only Fictor brothers wearing boots, they went in to inspect the damage.

"If anyone was around this car or in it," TL pointed out, "They'd dead like these dummies…"

_The shrapnel lacerates all the dummies in front of them, but the dummy furthest from the car (some twelve feet away) may have been unscathed._

"I don't like it, though, that your blast didn't kill one guy." Bill said, pointing out the unharmed dummy, "That guy will most likely shoot you like a REAL Star Fox member would."

"Indeed." Peppy said with a nod, "The blast radius of that bomb isn't the biggest. I think we have something that can do just as much damage and more."

_Team Star Fox also packs a wicked bomb; one THEY say has a bigger blast._

"The thermal detonator had a blast radius of only eight feet." Peppy said, holding up a yellow sphere with a few circles of blue on it. "THIS thing can wipe out anything in a narrow pass and is easily concealed…"

_The Katina-model Grenade: the most widely used grenade in the Lylat System. Its blast eradicates all it touches…_

Katina-model Grenade:  
Size: 6in diameter  
Weight: 3lbs  
Blast Radius: 13feet

_Team Star Fox takes their turn with high explosives, using a tunnel rigged with Clone dummies._

"Basically, this thing will destroy a whole room and flush enemies out of their hiding place." Peppy said, showing Dimensiondude the grenade. He looked into the tunnel and asked, "How many guys did you rig in there?"

"Six. Think this thing can blow 'em out?" the dragonsaur asked.

"Not a problem." Peppy answered. He pressed a button on the grenade, threw it into the tunnel's mouth, then ran as fast as his old legs could carry him.

KA-BOOM!

A blast of fiery light lit up the cave and several dummies flew out of the cave's mouth in pieces.

_The Katina Grenade sweeps the cave clean, but did it kill all the troopers?_

"Alright, lemme see…" TL said as he went with D-Dude to the cave, "You got one guy here at the entrance, that guy, that guy…"

"Three guys at the cave's entrance and…OH! There they are…they're DEAD." D-Dude said, pointing out the last three dummies, both of which were missing a leg."

_Now, to decide whose grenade has the bigger blast…_

"The thermal detonator gives you a second to get away from the blast's effective range." Lunatic pointed out, "But the Katina Grenade has a range almost fifty percent larger than the detonator. You won't have a chance when that thing goes off."

_In Hand Grenades, Star Fox gets the edge with their grenade._

_Grenades, however, are not the only explosives the two teams pack. Both Star Fox and the 501__st__ Legion packed nasty adhesive explosives._

"We have a special bomb that doesn't require us to engage the enemy." Peppy said, holding up a small white device, "This is the Sensor Bomb."

_The Sensor Bomb: a nasty, motion-sensing mine that can easily reduce enemy numbers with its blast._

Sensor Bomb:  
Size: 1ft  
Weight: 6lbs  
Blast Radius: 8ft

"If I had to eliminate one weapon from the world of warfare, it would be land mines." Dimensiondude said, "They are unpredictable and can kill in an instant, whether it be soldiers or innocent bystanders."

Out at the firing range, Bill showed TL and D-Dude the Sensor Bomb. "So, this thing will blow when someone just goes NEAR it?" D-Dude asked, holding the bomb in his claw.

"Yup. If you make any move near this thing, you're dead even you're just a few feet away from the device." Peppy confirmed, "It's a VERY dangerous weapon."

"How does this thing work?" TL asked.

"There are sensors in the bomb that are VERY sensitive to movement." Peppy explained, "You push a button, set it down, and then you have three seconds to get out of its line of vision, which is about five feet."

_To test the lethality of the Sensor Bomb, the team sets up four dummies around while Peppy sets up the bomb._

Peppy placed the sensor bomb at the center between the four dummies, pressed a button, then headed for the hills. Once at a safe distance, the rabbit covered his ears.

BAM!

The dummy closest to the bomb was instantly lacerated. Two of the dummies fell backward, and the furthest one seemed to be okay.

"Oh yeah, this guy's down for the count." TL said as the experts headed to the site, "He's lost a leg, compressed lungs, and popped eardrums. The other three…may have survived, though."

Dimensiondude inspected the damage, then explained. "From what I can tell, THIS guy's shocked." The dragonsaur said, pointing to the furthest dummy. He pointed to the next furthest one. "THIS guy's disoriented." He pointed to the third one, which was a little closer, "THIS guy's winded, and y'know what?" he asked, pointing to the closest one, "This guy's DEAD."

"So, we've got two questionable kills, and two who're still up and at 'em." TL said, summing it up.

"Good. We already got half of them dead with one shot." Peppy said, showing every hint of satisfaction.

_But the 501__st__ Legion isn't willing to give up. They claim to have a more reliable blast._

"Mines, in my book, are too unpredictable." Cody said, shaking his head, "In my book, give me a det-pack any day of the week." To emphasize his point, Cody held up a bomb.

_The Detonation Pack: an adhesive explosive that can attach to any surface for multiple effects. And in the hands of a clone trooper, it can be used for almost ANY ambush._

Det-Pack:  
Size: 18in  
Weight: 3lbs  
Blast Radius: 7feet

"This weapon's simple, easy-to-get, and efficient." Fives said, taking a det-pack in his hand, "It can blow up a tank, blow a door down, and it can be placed inside something for maximum damage."

_To test the deadly efficiency of the det-pack, our team sets up a possible setting for battle…_

"Nice…" Cody said as he took in the background. There were four Star Fox dummies around what appeared to be a gas tank. "This'll be a good representation…"

"How'll you wipe out these guys?" Lunatic asked, pointing out each dummy.

"Right behind 'em." Fives answered, pointing out a small fuel tank. "On that gas tank there. It'll blow them straight to Kingdom Come."

Commander Cody nodded, then walked over to the fuel tank, placing the det-pack on the back, out of the dummies' "line of vision".

_Cody Rigs the bomb and all experts take cover, some fifty feet away._

"There's a pro side to this bomb." Cody said, holding up a small pad with a big green button on it, "It's remote-activated, not a clunky land mine like that sensor bomb."

"So, ready, Cody?" TL asked.

Cody held up the pad to answer the hedgehog's question.

"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!"

Cody pressed the green button and at the site, the det-pack went off. The explosion caused the gas tank to blow up, causing an even BIGGER explosion. All three dummies were bowled to the ground and scorched.

_The damage the det-pack unleashes is phenomenal…but our team goes in to REALLY see what was done._

Most of the setting was still scorched due to gas fires, but all three dummies were down and blackened.

"None of these guys are making it home." D-Dude pointed out, "If you catch them with a blast like that, I guarantee that's an instant win."

"I may have to put that in as a factor, 'cuz this is a real game changer." Lunatic said with a nod.

"And the gas didn't just get them." D-Dude pointed out, "The shrapnel also caught them and the first thing about shrapnel is that it's UNPREDICTABLE."

_Both Star Fox and the 501__st__ pack deadly explosives. But which blast is bigger? Our experts are divided._

"All-in-all, I'm giving the edge to the Sensor Bomb." TL pointed out, "It's easily concealed and, by the time you do see it, you're dead."

"I completely disagree. I give the edge to the det-pack." Lunatic said, shaking his head, "That thing is SO adaptable and can be remote-operated. It gives your ally time to get away so you can blow up your enemy instead."

_Now, it's up to Dimensiondude to break the tie…_

"The sensor bomb is deadly because, it can claim the life of unsuspecting people. But the det-pack can be hidden in other places than the ground. And if blown up correctly, it can create BIGGER explosions."

_It's a close call, but the 501__st__ Legion gets the edge in adhesive explosives._

_--_

_Star Fox and the 501__st__ Legion are still prepping up for their fight, bringing firearms, explosives, and close-quarter weapons._

_Star Fox has worked in small cells, fighting when the odds were against them and still attaining victory._

"We take pride in taking on large numbers." Peppy said, holding up his finger, "Often at times, Fox was only member dropped behind enemy lines, armed only with a blaster. And you know what? Fox succeeds every time. No one could stop him."

_But the 501__st__ Legion also fights against odds, often nearing defeat themselves._

"The 501st have fought battles that were VERY ugly. There would usually be one to five soldiers left fighting until reinforcements arrive." Cody informed, "They keep fighting, 'cuz they aim to win, that's why. And we won't stop to defeat the enemy, whether it's battle droids, rebelling tribes, or even the Star Fox Team."

_Now it's time for Star Fox and the 501__st__ to lock and load with their long-distance weapons…and Star Fox packs a nasty gun for distance fighting._

_The Sniper Rifle: lethal at distances, capable of taking out any enemy no matter what size._

Sniper Rifle:  
Size: 3.6ft  
Weight: 13lbs  
Range: 900ft  
Ammo: 15 rounds  
Speed: 1 round per second

"Fox proved his worth with this gun." Bill said, holding up the sniper rifle, "By the time you see someone pointing this gun at you, you're down for the count."

_But the 501__st__ Legion plan to fire back with a sniper of their own: the DC15x. A modified version of the DC-15, this rifle is made for pinpoint accuracy._

DC15x Sniper:  
Size: 4ft  
Weight: 14lbs  
Range: 900ft  
Ammo: 10 rounds  
Speed: 1 round per second

_So, whose sniper has the better shot?_

"So, here's the way things go." TL said, out at the firing range, "You guys each have three individual targets…"

TL gestured to three dummies with a blue Galactic Republic symbol on their chests. Three dummies adjacent to them had red Star Fox symbols.

"Just snipe the guys with the enemy symbol on them. Call your shots if you want." TL advised.

"Don't mind if I do…" Cody said, taking the DC15x and getting low on the ground, "And I'll pelt 'em straight between the eyes, thank you very much.

Cody took aim at the first target, made sure he was going to hit, then fired. Hit the target right in the forehead. Cody took aim again, but with this shot…he missed. Readjusting his rifle, he made sure to nail his enemy. And with one final shot, he finished the final target.

_Next, Star Fox's Peppy Hare takes aim with his own sniper rifle._

"Alright, sonny, move over and I'll show you how it's done." Peppy said, getting in the same position Cody was in a second ago. "I think I'll nail the targets in a smaller target…the eye, if you please."

Peppy took aim, eyes squinting in focus. He fired and a burst of pink energy shot from his barrel, nailing the target right in the right eye. Peppy took aim at the second target, this time hitting it in the other eye. And finally, to boast, he shot both eyes out with the sniper.

"Nice, Peppy." Lunatic said, nodding, "Just had to go and do that, didn't ya?"

"It was definitely worth it…" Peppy said, getting up and adjusting his glasses.

_High-speed footage shows which sniper rifle has the deadlier shot…_

As Dimensiondude watched, he shook his head slightly. "Cody, I hate to disappoint you, but you took two shots on one of these guys." The dragonsaur apologized, "And I noticed that you didn't hit one of your targets where you said you would. It moved slightly to the left."

"Still, it's a kill, isn't it?" Fives asked with a shrug.

"Ignorance is bliss, rookie." Bill said, restraining a laugh, "Ignorance is bliss…"

"Deny it all you want, that DC15x has a lousy aim, the fact that you had to take two shots to kill a guy." Loony pointed out, "I'm giving the edge to Star Fox's sniper rifle."

_In long-range weaponry, Star Fox gets the edge._

_But what about heavy artillery? Both teams pack a nasty bazooka, both with high killing power._

"For wiping out tanks, THIS was a clone trooper's favorite weapon." Cody said, patting a heavy weapon with his gloved hand, "There's nothin' more fun than taking a missile launcher and blowing something up with it."

_And when it came to heavy hits, none was better for clone troopers than…_

_The PLX-1 Missile Launcher: a manned explosive-firing weapon of eradication._

PLX-1:  
Size: 5ft  
Weight: 30lbs  
Range: 700ft  
Ammo: 5 rockets

_But Star Fox isn't worried. They also bring a heavy arm into the fray._

"When it comes to blowing up stuff, none does it better than this." Bill said, heaving a giant, red bazooka onto his shoulder, "I give to you the Homing Launcher…"

_The Homing Launcher: an equally-lethal bazooka that possesses homing features…_

Homing Launcher:  
Size: 5.3ft  
Weight: 32lbs  
Range: 700ft  
Ammo: 10 blasts

_But which bazooka is deadlier? A test zone will be the answer…_

Out at the firing range, Bill and Fives heaving their bazookas, there was a pair of huts in opposite directions.

"Basically, one of you gets this hut, the second gets the other." Lunatic pointed out, "For the homing launcher, I installed heat generators to test the homing efficiency."

"Bring it on, then." Bill challenged.

"Bring it on." Fives agreed.

_The 501__st__ Legion takes their shot first with the PLX…_

"Ready, Fives?" TL called, earning a hand sign from Fives. "THREE! TWO! ONE! FIRE!"

Fives opened fire with the PLX-1 and seemed to completely miss. However, he moved his bazooka's barrel and the missile swerved to come back around and hit the hut.

BOOM!

There was hardly any hut left, and the dummies around it were torn to pieces.

_Now, Star Fox takes their shot…_

"GO!!!"

Bill fired the homing launcher. A blast of crimson energy shot from the barrel and hit a special, heat-generating, target that moved on a special belt. The blast swerved and hit the target dead-on, still demolishing all the dummies in range.

_Both teams' bazookas pack a nasty punch, but whose gets the edge?_

"It's a close call…" D-Dude said, "You really can't run from either one. The PLX, however, is manually controlled. The homing launcher's ammo is simply electronic reflexes. If you miss with the PLX, you can simply turn it around and try again."

_In heavy artillery, the 501__st__ Legion takes the edge._

_--_

_Star Fox and the 501__st__ Legion have proven their worth in firearms and explosives, both with DEADLY results. But how will they match up when the fight gets down and dirty or when they have to protect themselves._

"What fighting experience does a clone have other than shooting everything that moves?" Bill asked, "Star Fox are combat EXPERTS. They do martial arts to help them with their fighting, guns or not, ships or on foot, whichever you prefer."

_Star Fox trained in combat, preparing for any move an armed enemy might make. This partly came from their piloting skills and benefits these aerial tactics as well._

"Combat and piloting require several common factors." Peppy said, tapping the side of his head with his finger, "It keeps you on your toes, sharpens your senses, and predict moves from an untrained enemy."

_The 501__st__ Legion also trained in combat, but their teachings were a bit more basic. It was fight or die; the way they lived._

"If I have to fight without a gun, I'll do it with whatever I can get." Cody explained, slamming a fist over his heart, "We were taught to do what we had to in order to win. It's that easy."

_For close-quarter combat, Clone Troopers brought a special weapon made of plasma-resistant metals._

"If you want to get down and dirty with us, here's how we do it." Cody said, holding up a bronze-colored sword of sorts, "THIS is a vibroblade. And I guarantee ya, it'll stand up to any weapon strike."

_The vibroblade: a blade made from energy-resistant metals, this blade can resist even a lightsaber._

Vibroblade:  
Size: 2.8ft  
Weight: 6lbs  
Substance: Lightsaber-resistant metals

"The vibroblade…" D-Dude said, holding the blade in his claws.

"Yup. This is usually carried as a side-arm in case you run out of ammunition or guns are out of the picture." Fives said, taking it and taking a few jabs with it. "This'll run right through yer unarmored Star Fox blokes."

"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" TL suggested, "Take it out on a ballistics gel torso…"

_To test the results of the blade, Fives takes aim at a gel torso with the same density as human flesh…_

"Three! Two! One! GO!"

Fives let out a war cry, then set to work on cutting up the torso. One slash caught the gel torso across the throat, another caught it across the gut, and finally, he stabbed it in the ribs with it.

"Whoa…" TL laughed, "Take it easy. What'd he ever do to you?"

"He was there." Fives answered, "It's our life, so sue me."

_As deadly-efficient as the vibroblade is, Star Fox isn't even worried._

"That's a short weapon and it only has one sharp end on it." Bill said, not looking too impressed at all, "Why don't I show you a weapon that's even longer and just as deadly, if not more so?"

_Star Fox dusts off an old combat weapon, heralding a mission on the planet Sauria…_

_The Cerinian Staff: a deadly three-in-one weapon made for flexibility…_

Cerinian Staff:  
Size: 5 feet  
Weight: 3lbs  
Substance: Enchanted wood, gold

"This is the Cerinian staff, courtesy of Fox McCloud and Krystal…" Bill said, holding the staff up, "The bottom end can be used as a spear…" he twirled it around to show the bottom, which ended in a dagger-like point. He twirled to the front. "The top end can be used as a bludgeoning weapon, but it can be split into a trident of sorts."

To emphasize his point, he did something on the staff that split it into three sharp ends. He then twirled it and brought one end slamming on the ground.

"This is better than any sword, I guarantee you. And it can retract so that you can carry it anywhere." Bill boasted, retracting the staff to a length of two feet, "A battleaxe can't break this thing, neither can a club or even a sword."

"Well, let's see it in action." Cody said, rolling his eyes, "Test it on OUR armor then."

_Answering the call, D-Dude sets up three dummies clad in clone trooper armor…_

"Man, this helmet looks like it REALLY restricts your vision." Bill said, rapping the helmet with his knuckles, "How do you see out of that?"

"Just like you can." Fives answered.

"Now, are ya ready, Bill?" TL called.

"Ready…" Bill said, taking the staff in hand.

"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!"

With a war cry, Bill lunged at the first clone in front of him, using the bottom end of the staff. He caught the clone right below the chest plate, impaling it. He took it out, then smashed the staff's top end into another dummy's visage, knocking it to the ground. With one final cry, he spun the staff, smacking the last clone trooper across the helmet, then pulled back the trident-turned front of his staff and plunged it into the chest plate.

It penetrated the armor.

"HOLY MACKEREL! YOU TOOK 'EM ALL OUT!" TL said, excitedly.

_Dimensiondude goes in to assess the damage. Were they all down?_

"Okay, the first guy was impaled through the intestines and liver. He's not conscious and dying." D-Dude said, then looked at the second target. "THIS guy is questionable, but I'd say, you've deactivated his helmet's vision enhancers. And HIM…" He looked at the last one, "You stunned him first, but the hole…"

_The trident end of the staff pierced the clone's armor…but was it fatal?_

Dimensiondude stuck his claw into one of the holes, then removed it. The tips were covered in blood. "You have a hole just above the heart. I'd wager he's wounded, but he's not conscious anymore."

"The vibroblade was tough, I'll give it that, but this staff…a clone doesn't stand a chance against it." Lunatic said, shaking his head, "I'm giving it all to the Cerinian Staff."

_In close-quarter weapons, Star Fox gets the edge with the staff._

_But in battle, special equipment can make a difference and both brought a backup plan and a defensive measure to aid them._

"If clone troopers wanna waste their shots, they'll have the time of their lives against this." Peppy said with a smirk, "This barrier generator can take hits like nothing and gives you time to fire back."

_The Barrier: a durable field of energy that can hold up against fire long enough for a counterattack._

Barrier:  
Size: variable  
Weight: Under 1lb  
Substance: Absorbent energy

_To test the effectiveness of the barrier, TL sets up a dummy rigged with a barrier generator…_

"Basically, this is a runaway guy with a barrier on." TL said to Cody and Fives, "What you're going to do is try to shoot through the barrier."

"Not a problem." Cody said, taking his trusted DC-15 in hand, "Watch and learn…"

_Cody takes aim…_

"THREE! TWO! ONE! FIRE!!!"

Cody unleashed a hail of blue blasts on the now-active barrier. But even after ten seconds' worth of firing, the barrier showed only the slightest amount of wear. Cody shook his head.

"This'll take bloody forever…" he grunted before getting up and walking away.

"Take it easy, commander." Fives said, taking a det-pack in hand, "Let me try somethin' bigger…"

_To really test the durability of the barrier, Fives rigs a det-pack near the target._

The team cleared the room quickly, though TL did shout… "GO!"

BAM!!!

The det-pack exploded, kicking up dust, but when the dust settled, the barrier was still there. It was glowing a slight red instead of blue as it originally had, but the dummy was still intact.

"I dunno about you, but if the barrier could hold up to that, I think you could hit it with your most powerful weapon. And you know what? The guy the barrier's around is still here…" Peppy stated, shaking his head.

"Well, guess the main question is, 'how long can he keep the shield up?' And I intend to wait it out…" Cody remarked.

_The barrier is effective, but the Clone Troopers have an aiding supply of their own…_

"If you've been shot and feel that you can't go on, we got just the thing." Fives said, holding out a tank of blue liquid. "Just take some of this stuff, put it on the wound, and you'll feel better in no time."

_The Bacta Tank: a one-stop first-aid kit that heals wounds and keeps soldiers on their feet._

Bacta Tank:  
Size: 6in  
Weight: 19oz  
Substance: Healing chemicals

_Since the bacta tank only works on living beings, TL takes things into his own hands._

Dimensiondude left a sizeable scratch on TL's arm via his claws, then made a small burn wound with a spark of fire breath.

"Ow…" TL said, but ignored the pain and said, "Okay, let's test this supply…is this going to hurt?"

Cody took some of the bacta inside the tank, lathering some on his fingers, then spread it across TL's wound. It was actually a pretty nice feeling for the hedgehog; he felt the pain leaving his wound, even the burn. He flexed his arm to make sure it wouldn't hurt if he moved…it didn't hurt at all. It was like he wasn't even hurt.

"Wow…that's cool." TL said, admiring the lack of pain.

"The chemical nourishes microscopic organisms that seek out abnormalities in your body." Cody informed, "It neutralizes pain and keeps you on your feet while helping your wound heal in the process."

_But whose supplies are better?_

"Bacta tank vs. barrier…It's a close call, seeing as both are life-savers in the field of battle." Lunatic said, tensely, "But I give a SLIGHT edge to the bacta tank. If you're hurt, it gets you back on your feet and makes you fit again. Whereas, the barrier doesn't help you if you're hurt. When it wears off, you're wide open."

_After serious consideration, the 501__st__ Legion gets the edge in additional supplies._

_--_

_The testing is over: it is now time to see who is the deadliest warrior. Star Fox, or the 501__st__ Legion?_

_Our experts are divided…_

"I'm giving the pre-game prediction to the 501st Legion." Lunatic admitted, "The fact that they've held out against the CIS forces for so long and won the Clone Wars. It's something they did and it's working."

"I'm giving it to Star Fox all the way." TL countered, "They're better strategists, pack martial arts' training, and have held out against Andross, Scales, the Aparoids, and the Anglar and won virtually on their own."

_We tested eight Star Fox weapons: the Cornerian Blaster, Gatling Gun, Katina Grenade, Sensor Bomb, Sniper Rifle, Homing Launcher, Cerinian Staff, and Barrier._

_We also tested eight weapons of the 501__st__ Legion: the DC-15 Assault Rifle, Z-6 Chain Gun, Thermal Detonator, Det-Pack, DC15x Sniper, PLX-1 Missile Launcher, Vibroblade, and Bacta Tank._

_In Assault Rifles, the DC-15 blew away the Cornerian Blaster._

"The DC-15 has a faster shot and can hit from farther distance. There's a slight issue on ammunition limits, but unlike the blaster, you don't have to wait three seconds to fire a powerful blast.

Edge: 501st Legion

_In machine guns, Star Fox's gatling gun out-fired the Legion's chain gun._

"The gatling gun does FAR more damage at a faster rate than the chain gun. It's a spraying weapon, and it doesn't need a second to warm up, nor is there a risk of overheating. Edge to the gatling gun."

Edge: Star Fox

_In explosive weapons, Star Fox's Katina Grenade packed a bigger blast than the Thermal Detonator._

"The Katina grenade has far more potential of killing someone. It has a bigger blast radius and you can either throw it earlier and ambush someone or charge time it and use it to blow up enemies."

Edge: Star Fox

_In adhesive explosives, the Det-Pack proved far more reliable than the Sensor Bomb._

"The Sensor Bomb has stealth properties, but if you're not careful with them, you can kill your own guys. Whereas with the det-pack, you can wait until your friend's out of range and then kill your enemy."

Edge: 501st Legion

_In distance weapons, Star Fox's Sniper Rifle was pitted against the 501__st__ Legion's DC15x Sniper._

"Both weapons are deadly, but if I have to shoot TWICE in order to kill someone, I wouldn't use it. I give the edge to Star Fox's sniper, it's got a longer range, and has far better aim."

Edge: Star Fox

_In Heavy Artillery, the team tested the Homing Launcher and the PLX-1 Missile Launcher._

"Both weapons are like the hand of God: they obliterate whatever they touch. That being said, I'm giving it to the PLX-1 because if you miss, you simply turn it around and try again."

Edge: 501st Legion

_In close-combat weapons, the Vibroblade was no match for the Cerinian Staff._

"That staff is SUCH a versatile weapon. It can strike from well beyond the vibroblade's reach and it has two sharp ends rather than just one. First hit, first kill. Edge to the staff."

Edge: Star Fox

_In additional supplies, the bacta tank outlasted the barrier._

"Bacta tanks are like first-aid kits on steroids. They help to heal your wound, whether it's a gash or even a blaster wound like this battle. The barrier…once it's down, you're as good as dead."

Edge: 501st Legion

_Lunatic readies the computer, ready to simulate a four-on-four squad battle between the two teams._

_It will be a battle of opposites: Maximum firepower…_

(The 501st Legion blows away several battle droids with the chain gun.)

_vs. Efficient strategy_

(Fox lobs a grenade into a passageway, then takes cover as the grenade explodes.)

_Mass-destruction…_

(A clone trooper fires a missile at a tank's engines, blowing it up in the process.)

_vs. Cool Cunning_

(Fox takes a sniper rifle in hand, then fires, causing a device to explode along with anything too close.)

_Survival Instinct…_

(A clone trooper wrestles with a monster before kicking it off.)

_vs. Martial Arts._

(Fox uses his staff to disarm a Sharpclaw and kill it with the sharp end of his staff.)

"Alright, moment of truth…" Lunatic said, pressing a key on the computer.

--the fight—

Inside a space colony, there were four members of the Star Fox Team searching the area for any sign of company. They consisted of the leader, Fox McCloud, the ace pilot and heavy-hitter, Falco Lombardi, the tech master and explosives expert, Slippy Toad, and the telepath/sniper, Krystal.

Not far away, four men in white armor-plast were patrolling the area for intruders. One had blue streaks on his armor, one had yellow, one had red, and one had green. The leader in blue was Captain Rex, leader of the 501st Legion. The yellow-clad one was the engineer, Grease, and he was the explosives expert. The red-clad one was a shock trooper named "XL", and the green-clad was a sniper named "Dead-Eye".

Both reached a wide-open area of the colony, but Star Fox was the first to spot them. Fox immediately halted the team.

"We've got company. Look over there…" he said, pointing out the clone troopers.

The three other members looked over and their eyes widened. The clones were on the other side of the colony, checking an area full of crates.

Fox looked above, the whole area had different levels with catwalks, stairways, and even an elevator that led to the highest level.

"Okay." Fox said, having formulated a strategy already, "Falco, Krystal, head for the higher levels and wait for the signal. That's when fire is returned. Slippy, you come with me."

"You got it." Falco said, taking off for a staircase, Krystal in hot pursuit.

"C'mon, Slippy…" Fox said, readying his blaster.

"Got it…" the frog whispered.

Both Falco and Krystal were in the upper levels, ready for the signal, then readied a gatling gun. Krystal had a sniper rifle ready as well, her finger waiting over the trigger.

Down below, Fox and Slippy dashed behind a pair of metal crates. Apparently, Grease had noticed something was up, because he started moving towards their crate.

"Okay, Slippy…" Fox whispered, "Give 'em a present…"

"Got it."

Slippy took out a Katina grenade, pressed a button, then tossed it over the crate. It bounced, then landed on the ground not far from Grease.

He still noticed it, though…

"GRENADES! GRENADES!!!"

Rex, XL, and Dead-Eye heard their comrade, and soon all four hit the dirt as the grenade went off with a BOOM. The blast had failed to kill any of them, but it still knocked them onto their butts.

"Oops." Slippy said, realizing the blast hadn't killed anyone.

"C'mon…" Fox said, then he and Slippy dashed out. Their cover was blown, and they wound up right in Rex's sight.

"OVER THERE! OPEN FIRE!!!"

Dead-Eye, however, noticed someone up above. He took aim with his DC15x and fired at the upper levels, but he missed Krystal by inches. She rolled to a different location, whereas Falco took a different approach…

While Rex, Grease, and XL took off after Fox and Slippy, Falco dropped down to Dead-Eye's level, whipped out a Gatling Gun and opened fire. Dead-Eye was down in no time flat.

--

Star Fox: 4

501st Legion: 3

--

Fox and Slippy sprinted up a flight of stairs with Rex, Grease, and XL in hot pursuit. Fox turned around, then gave them a volley of blasts from his blaster. All the troops avoided them, but then XL turned back, wondering where Dead-Eye had gone. He saw Falco pump the troop with blue lasers, then decided to take revenge on the bird.

"Eat this, birdie…"

XL took a Z-6 chain gun, then fired at the bird. Falco dove away and exchanged the gatling gun for a homing launcher. He locked and loaded it, and XL had noticed it…along with the sniper in the upper levels.

Up above, Krystal had sensed thoughts from the man in blue armor…he was the leader. And she knew that, should she take him out, everything would fall apart for these guys.

"_Got you…"_

"SIR! WATCH OUT!"

Rex barely heard XL cry out and all three took shelter behind a heavy piece of machinery. But two things had happened at once. The homing launcher hit the machinery, not even harming the device, and Krystal made her shot…hitting Rex in the leg.

Grease and XL exchanged a few different handsigns and knew what to do. Grease took out a thermal detonator and threw it up into the upper level. Krystal saw it coming and got up to get away, but she had just gotten away when XL slung off the PLX-1 and fired a manned missile. The explosion blew her right off the level and she fell to the floor down below to land with a sickening CRUNCH.

--

Star Fox: 3

501st Legion: 3

--

Fox and Slippy took cover in a hallway-viewport of sorts and paused to catch their breath.

"Do you think we're gonna make it out alive?" Slippy asked, his hand shaking on his blaster.

"I dunno." Fox answered, "But if you go down, I assure you I won't. Now, how about a nice booby trap for these guys?"

"Got it…" Slippy said, then took out a sensor bomb and placed it on the ground. Both nodded, then took off away from the bomb.

Back under cover, Grease had Rex leaned against the machine. "You alright, Rex?"

Rex winced when Grease touched his wound. "I've seen better days, that's for sure-OW!"

Grease took a small tank of blue liquid, put some on his finger, then rubbed it on the blaster wound. Rex winced, then felt the bacta taking effect.

"Thanks, soldier. I owe ya one…" Rex said, trying to stabilize himself on his leg, "But let's take care of this bugger first."

"And I got just the thing…" Grease said, taking out another thermal detonator.

Down below, Falco took aim again with the Homing Launcher, but had just fired when Grease took another thermal detonator and lobbed it down the stairs. The blast itself killed XL, but Falco had just smirked when he felt something touch his foot.

It was the thermal detonator.

In an explosion of fire, Falco was roasted in an instant.

--

Star Fox: 2

501st Legion: 2

--

Rex had gotten some feel back in his leg and now trailed Grease in their search for the remaining two Star Fox members. Grease spotted something: green skin and yellow fur.

"THERE THEY ARE!"

Rex, however, spotted something in Grease's path…something at his feet. And he called out a second too late.

"WAIT-NO!"

Too late, a small device flipped into the air and exploded, sending Grease flying backward with a cry. When he landed, Rex checked his vitals…dead.

Rex would mourn later, if he could at all, then took something from Grease's pack: a detonation pack and its remote. It would come in handy later.

--

Star Fox: 2

501st Legion: 1

--

Rex sprinted along the path until he saw the frog in plain sight. The frog yelped on sight of the clone trooper, then fired his blaster wildly. Rex rolled away, then took out his DC-15 and promptly shot the frog down with three bolts of plasma.

As the frog fell, dead, to the ground, Rex noticed what the amphibian was in front of: an elevator. Since the fox was nowhere in sight, Cody stepped into it and it immediately moved up.

It was down to this now…

--

Star Fox: 1

501st Legion: 1

--

Rex arrived at the top level to see Fox McCloud heading for cover, then fired with his DC-15. Fox rolled away, then countered with fire from his Cornerian Blaster. After a brief firefight that only lasted a few seconds, a stray bolt of the DC-15 knocked the blaster out of Fox's hands.

Fox immediately took cover, then made a run for better ground. He had something planned and it HAD to work; everyone else's deaths would be in vain if he didn't pull this off…

Rex chased after Fox, firing his DC-15. He would have killed the fox if the critter hadn't activated some device on his belt. A field of blue energy absorbed the bolts and the fox was walking away unharmed (well, running away actually).

Fox found refuge in a single room ducked away in the corner and sealed the door shut. He took out his staff and prepared for the worst…

Rex banged on the door and blasted it with his rifle, but it wouldn't budge. With a smirk, he had one last idea. He took out the det-pack, attached it to the door, then got a good distance away.

He had no intention of blowing himself up.

Rex pressed the button and with a BANG, the door blew open. Slowly, he ventured inside to see if his furry target was dead. He had his DC-15 at the ready, but the smoke from the explosion was thick, thus obscuring his vision.

WHAM!

Something had smacked his rifle out of his hands: it was Fox. The barrier had protected the Star Fox leader from the blast and, though the barrier was gone now, Fox was more than ready to fight.

With another movement, Fox rolled across the ground and brought the staff sweeping across the ground. Rex tripped and Fox got back onto his feet to slam the top end of the staff down onto the clone's helmeted head.

Rex himself was not harmed, but the sheer force of the staff strike was enough to shut down the visual enhancers of the helmet. Rex groaned as he rolled to his feet, then removed his helmet to show Jango Fett's face…save a head deprived of black hair.

Rex took something from his belt: a vibroblade just in case this sort of combat was require…and it was. Forgetting guns completely, Rex slowly moved towards Fox, both of which had their weapons at the ready. Fox twirled his staff in a complex martial arts manner, then the two clashed.

The vibroblade was made of tough stuff; being able to repel lightsaber blades and deactivate them at times. But the staff was not a lightsaber: it was twice the length of the vibroblade. Still, the vibroblade had far more cutting power than the staff, which was simply a trident on one end and a small dagger on the other.

Fox twirled, nimbly, on one end of his staff to catapult himself away from Rex's swing. The leader of Star Fox struck low, catching Rex on the leg, but not seriously injuring him. The clone leader swung with the vibroblade again, this time catching Fox across the arm and shedding blood.

Hurt, but not seriously injured, Fox thrust with his staff's dagger-like end and caught Rex on the arm. Rex cried out, but jerked free and swung again. Fox held the staff horizontally, blocking the attack, then maneuvered the blade away and used his boot to kick Rex away with a satisfied-sounding grunt.

Rex staggered back, then swung with the vibroblade again. Fox blocked with one end of the staff, but Rex pulled back his free fist and punched Fox across the face. Fox staggered back, but sidestepped an oncoming thrust from Rex and planted a punch of his own across Rex's jaw. Rex staggered back and soon, both were back to circling each other.

Both moved. Rex blocked an attach, then thrust a foot into Fox's chest. Fox fell back, but as Rex was about to stab him, Fox rolled away and was back on his feet in a second. Fox used one end of the staff to smack Rex across the face, spun it around to slam the other end into his midsection. And with one final spin, Fox held it vertically and stabbed Rex through the vulnerable middle of a clone's armor.

Impaled on the staff, Rex gagged and choked on his own blood, then fell limp. Fox removed his staff, sheathed it, then trudged off. Brave soldiers had died here, after all…

--

Winner: Star Fox

"Star Fox won because, even though the 501st Legion's weaponry was very reliable, the Star Fox team had better long-range weaponry and could operate better at a squad-level." Lunatic explained, "And the barrier came in handy especially if it was a strict fire-fight."

_But it was a close call. Out of a thousand battles, Star Fox won 508 times._

Star Fox kills…  
Blaster: 70  
Gatling Gun: 90  
Grenade: 23  
Sensor Bomb: 34  
Homing Launcher: 129  
Sniper Rifle: 146  
Staff: 17  
All-in-all kills: 508

_The 501__st__ Legion wasn't too far behind with 492 victories. Their deadliest weapon was the chain gun, but it wasn't enough._

501st Legion Kills...  
DC-15: 101  
Z-6: 136  
Thermal Detonator: 24  
Det-Pack: 32  
PLX-1: 118  
DC-15x: 72  
Vibroblade: 9  
All-in-all kills: 492

"I think the key factor was protection. I don't care how much bacta you have with you, you're not winning if your opponent's protecting themselves with that barrier." TL agreed.

"I'll admit I did doubt Star Fox, but after witnessing the way they wielded their weapons and planned things out, I'm not surprised that they won." D-Dude said with a grin.

"I admit the 501st Legion are well trained and how they fight to a standstill, but they're no match for Star Fox." Peppy joked, "There's no contest that Star Fox is the better team."

"Hmph." Cody grunted, "You win this round, but I'm sure that if you play in open warfare, the outcome will be different. Next time, we'll blow your innards out."

(Fox McCloud climbs into an arwing, then takes off, the camera flashing his face.)

_With apologies to Star Wars fans everywhere…_


	2. Link vs Sora

**Link**

(Link is standing in the black background, then blocks something with his shield before striking with the Master Sword)

The legendary Hylian warrior that saved the land of Hyrule with the blade and shield.

(Link walks into a group of Lizalfos and begins hacking through them. He knocks one down, then stabs it while it's down.)

**Sora**

(A black-clad boy with spiky hair is also in the black background. He summons a key-shaped sword, then takes a few swings)

The Keyblade's chosen one and protector of the worlds against the Heartless.

(Sora, Donald, and Goofy work together to take out Heartless. Sora does so with several swipes of the Keyblade.)

WHO IS DEADLIEST?

To find out, our world-class fighters are testing fiction's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first-century science, we find out what would happen when the two warriors go toe-to-toe.

No rules, no safety, no mercy: It's a duel to the death to decide who is…

_**The Deadliest Warrior**_

In the fight club, two different warriors were practicing with swords, but in different styles. Two were practicing something like martial arts while one was practicing something more medieval.

_Welcome to the Fight Club, where a team of doctors, scientists, and combat experts gather to see who would win in the ultimate swordfight._

_Link: an unstoppable hylian hero destined to defeat the great Ganon._

_Vs._

_Sora: the chosen Keyblader who will one day open the door to light._

**Link:  
****Height: 5'10"  
****Weight: 164lbs  
****Gear: 35lbs  
****Armor: Chain Mail**

**

* * *

**

Sora:

**Height: 5'7"  
****Weight: 134lbs  
****Gear: 6lbs  
****Armor: None**

A white hedgehog with cowboy boots, a golden mane, and unmatching gloves walked in.

_Biomedical engineer and media expert, **TLSoulDude**, will test to see how much damage the two swordsmen can inflict._

A green raptor-creature with wings walked in, inspecting a ballistics gel torso.

_Biologist and historian, **Dimensiondude**, will gauge the deadly efficiency of each weapon._

"What's interesting about this matchup is that one guy's wearing armor and carrying MANY weapons while the other guy is coming in with just one adaptable weapon." D-Dude stated.

A short, redheaded, spiky-haired guy came in and typed a few things into a computer to make sure it was ready to go.

_Computer wiz, **Lunatic 121**, will take the test results and download it into a computer made to simulate fight scenes._

"What's fun for me is that, these are two of my favorite video game heroes." Lunatic said, "Both are top of their games and both are awesome swordsmen."

_The computer will take the data from the tests to create a blow-by-blow fight to the finish between the Hero of Time and the Key of Hope._

_Both warriors have their own experts rooting for them. So far, our Kingdom Hearts warriors are confident that Sora can win._

A teenage boy with long, silver hair is sparring with an all-too-iconic mouse, each one wielding swords shaped like giant keys.

_**Riku **is a Keyblade-wielder, just like Sora. He and Sora grew up as friends, warriors, and even enemies at one point._

"Sora's the best of the best." Riku explained, "He thrashed the Heartless, Maleficent, and Organization XIII. There's no way some green-clad elf guy with a sword's gonna beat him."

Not far away, the iconic mouse was wielding a Keyblade and firing spells at certain targets: spells of fire, ice, and lightning.

_**King Mickey **aided Riku and Sora at one point each. He too wields a Keyblade and is no stranger to the skills and magic needed to wield one._

"Only a warrior of pure heart can wield a real Keyblade." Mickey explained, "Sure there's an issue with this fella due to his shield and mail, but we'll get around it. I know we will."

_Sora's journey began when his home island was consumed by darkness. He was only a boy when this happened, but in a short time, he was slaying Heartless left and right with the Keyblade. He has traveled the cosmos to save Riku, to save Kairi, and to bring order and light to the worlds._

_Our Sora supporters are confident, but so is Team Link…_

On the other side of the fight club was a man clad in leather armor, practicing sword strikes on a girl using a special vest to protect her from the blows of a wooden sword.

The man in leather armor had blonde hair, a mustache, and a somewhat-peasant look about him.

_**Rusl **is a close friend of Link's. Trained in combat used by the Hylian soldiers, Rusl is a master swordsman and shield-bearer._

"Link's going to destroy this kid." Rusl said with a slight laugh, "You've got a skilled small person against a skilled BIG person, and that person is wearing armor, too. And Link has dealt with forces FAR more savage than Sora."

The girl took a bow in hand, then strung an arrow. She had black hair tied back in two buns, had an abnormally large amount of shadow under her eyes, and was clad in silver armor and red pants.

_**Ashei **is an acquaintance of Rusl and Link's. Skilled in Hylian archery. She, like Rusl, is part of a Hylian Restoration group._

"The only guy who could possibly stand up to Link is a Hylian warrior of equal skill." Ashei said, her voice hinting a goth attitude, "Picking something with him will be the LAST thing you do."

_Born in the forested area of Ordon, Link's journey began when the Twilight began to spread across Hyrule in an attempt to cover it in darkness. The journey, in time, turned Link from a simple goat-herder…to an unstoppable swordsman with outstanding courage._

_For mid-range combat, Link favored a classic combination of offense and defense…_

"For Hylian soldiers like myself, there's nothing better than the sword and shield." Rusl said, holding out a sword and a metal shield.

_The Master Sword: Link's traditional weapon and the blade of evil's bane, this sword was able to hack evil beings down to side._

_Its deadly companion, The Hero's Shield, could be used as both an offensive weapon and an impressive defense._

Master Sword:  
Size: 4ft  
Weight: 4lbs  
Substance: Steel

Hero's Shield:  
Size: 29in  
Weight: 6lbs  
Substance: Wood, iron

Rusl swung the sword, raised the shield high to block some incoming overhead strike, then thrust with the sword.

"The sword and shield is a DEADLY combination. I can block low and strike high, block high and stab, and a true swordsman can roll around…" Rusl demonstrated by rolling across the ground, "He can sidestep, jump, even backflip."

"So, how will THIS weapon prove effective against Sora?" TL asked, scratching his head.

"I guarantee that, even if you're wearing armor, you're going down for the count if faced with this." Rusl said, shaking his head, "Link's slain fully-armored Darknuts with this combo alone."

"You hear that, boys?" Ashei asked, putting her hands on her hips, "Even with armor, you're going down."

"That's if you can HIT Sora." Riku shot back.

"Save it for later, people." Lunatic said, "Why don't we demonstrate the killing power of the shield and sword?"

_To test the versatility of the sword and shield combination, Rusl is given five targets: five gel torsos. He will have to kill each one with one strike._

"Now, THIS is what I'm talking about." Rusl said, patting one of the gel torsos with his free hand, "Fresh targets."

"Ready, Rusl?" TL asked.

"Sure am." Rusl answered, his shield ready and his sword ready.

_Since only Link can wield the Master Sword, Rusl will be using a similarly-sized blade as a stunt double._

"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!!!"

Rusl gave a war cry, then ran one gel torso through the gut with his sword. Pulling it out, he turned, gave one a good strike over the head with his shield before moving to the side and hacking it across the neck. He rolled across the ground for the third one, then sprang up and gave a spinning slash, leaving a deep cut across its torso.

Rusl actually sheathed his sword, then approached the dummy, spun as he drew his sword and hacked it on the shoulder. He then performed a jump strike that drove the sword deep down the last torso's midsection.

Satisfied with his work, Rusl sheathed his sword while TL whooped in surprise.

"Holy crud…you destroyed all these guys…" TL said, putting a finger into one of the gel torso's wounds.

"So, are any of these guys making it home?" Lunatic asked.

"Nah. They're all dead." D-Dude answered, "THIS dummy has a pierced lung and severed aorta. The second dummy has head trauma AND a slit throat. Third guy…he's got spilled guts. Fourth…severed shoulder muscles and cracked collarbone. And the last one…he's almost cut in HALF."

"And that's with individual strikes." Rusl pointed out, "Still, I could do the same thing with just ONE strike: one Link is famous for."

_Rusl decides to test an all-too-famous move that Link would use to eradicate enemies from all around: the Spin Attack._

Rusl positioned his shield in front of him while he pointed the sword behind him. Around him were five dummies, each loaded with blood packs.

"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!!!"

Rusl roared, then spun in two complete circles. The swing created gashes in ALL the targets, spilling blood all over the floor.

"YEAH!" Lunatic cheered, "ALL DOWN!!!"

"It does NOT take a medical genius to see that the Spin Attack has pretty much downed any target within six feet of him." D-Dude said, pointing at the gashes.

_As deadly as the Master Sword is, Team Sora is NOT impressed._

"It's a nice toy, I'll give it that." Riku said with a shrug, "But all that gear's slowing you down. And since the Keyblade is a two-hand sword, even if I lose use of a hand, I can still use the other hand."

"I have YET to see a blade like that kill six people with one shot like that." Rusl laughed.

"But we can do the same thing in no time flat." Mickey countered.

_Sora also brings a blade to the battle, one just as legendary as the Master Sword._

_The Kingdom Key: Sora's traditional Keyblade that provides both bludgeoning and cutting properties._

Kingdom Key:  
Size: 3.5ft  
Weight: 6lbs  
Substance: Steel

Riku took the Kingdom Key in hand. It wasn't Way to Dawn, the blade he commonly used, but it was still good. He twirled it in one hand, spun to strike, did horizontal and vertical strikes, then thrust with it.

"Just like your Master Sword, I too have a great amount of agility. Only I've got more of it, unlike that clunky shield and heavy gear." Riku said, giving another demonstration of agility with the Keyblade, "This is a VERY versatile weapon and it's quick on the draw, too."

"I've heard talk of the Keyblade. Now, let's see if it really is as fast and efficient as you say it is." TL challenged.

"With pleasure…" Riku said, slinging the Kingdom Key over his shoulder.

_To test the power of the Keyblade, Team Sora tests it on a ballistics gel torso with the same density as human flesh._

"So, how're you going to kill this guy?" D-Dude asked.

"I'll give ya three strikes." Riku answered, "One strike to the chest, one on the head, and one on the shoulder."

"Well, get it done…" Lunatic said, watching as Riku took his battle pose.

"GO!!!"

With a war cry, Riku swung Kingdom Key at the torso, striking it across the chest. He followed up with another strike, this one to the crown of the skull, and finally, he finished the combo with a strike on the victim's shoulder. The key's teeth had hit the shoulder and buried themselves deep into the victim's body.

_The skin on the first two strikes is barely broken, but what other factors were there?_

"Not all these strikes cut the guy up." D-Dude informed, "But I'd wager that he'd be either unconscious from the first strike and dead on the second. You gave him a serious concussion."

"Serious concussion?" Mickey asked, raising a furry eyebrow, "Ya hear that? And your guy's not wearing a helmet, is he?"

"Who needs a helmet for protection when you've got a big shield?" Ashei asked.

"And did I mention that this thing can be a distance weapon, too?" Riku asked, holding it up, "It's a little thing called the Strike Raid. You basically throw it like a boomerang and, if it misses, you call it right back."

"How accurate is it?" Lunatic asked.

"I'd wager twenty to thirty feet at best." Riku answered.

_The Keyblade can also be used as a distance weapon, but how deadly and how accurate is it?_

Riku took aim at a wooden target, then threw the Kingdom Key at it. The blade's edge lodged itself in the target. Though not a direct hit, it still buried itself deep into the circle of wood and Riku nodded, showing every hint of satisfaction.

"Well, it's a good throw, and that force is definitely enough to stun someone. Still, it's effective." TL said, "You can probably cross the distance in no time flat."

"You know we can." Mickey said with a nod.

"What a way to fight, though," Ashei pointed out, "Disarm yourself. That'll give us all the more pleasure of taking your head off."

"I haven't disarmed myself." Riku countered. He held out his hand, and in a flash of light, the Keyblade appeared back in his hand, "If I miss, I'll get it back and try again."

_The Keyblade shows potential, but our Link supporters are untouched._

"I WASN'T impressed with the Keyblade, simply because it only has one sharp end on it." Rusl pointed out, "The rest is simply a battering weapon. This shield…" He rapped the front of the Hero's Shield with his knuckles, "will take as many hits as that key can dish out."

_Feeling confident, Team Link faces Team Sora with a challenge: Sora's Keyblade vs. Link's shield._

"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!!"

With a cry, Riku rushed the shield and struck it as hard as he could. Hardly any damage was done to the shield, so he struck it again. Still not much…

"Just as I thought." Rusl said with a nod, "You spent so much time talking about the sheer power of your Keyblade, but it was stopped dead in its tracks."

TL went over to the shield and inspected it. He shook his head. "Other than a small scratch and some chipped paint, there's no significant damage. And…nope, Link's arm won't be broken behind the shield."

"Well, Sora won't be stupid and attack the shield head-on." Riku explained, "He'll find a way around it or wait for Link to let his guard down. And last I checked, chain mail won't protect you from impact strikes."

_Now that both Link and Sora's signature arms have been tested, which warrior's weapon has the edge?_

"I'm giving it ALL to the shield and sword combo." Lunatic answered, "The sword can kill with pretty much ONE strike and the shield is as much a weapon as it is a defense."

TL seemed to disagree as he said, "I'm giving it to the Keyblade simply because it's such a versatile weapon, as it can also be a distance weapon."

_It's all up to Dimensiondude to break the tie._

"Keyblade vs. Sword and Shield, sword and shield all the way. The sword is sharp on both sides and the shield, as we saw, saved Link from the Keyblade." D-Dude explained, "And the Master Sword will cause far more trauma than a primarily-battering weapon."

_The sword and shield combo gives Link the edge in close-quarter weapons. But how will they fare when they use special weapons?_

Rusl picked up a small, black object covered in metal with a small fuse coming out of its top. "Link loves things that go 'BOOM'. And they don't come much better than this: bombs."

_The Bomb: a lethal mix of metal and gunpowder that unleashes a burst of fire, sound, and shrapnel._

Bomb:  
Size: 10in  
Weight: 4lbs  
Substance: metal, powder, fuse

--

"THIS is something completely different from the matchup." Lunatic explained, "A bomb is unpredictable, creates a spray of shrapnel, and sends out a pulse wave."

_To find out the lethality of the Bomb, the team sets up the closest thing to human flesh: four pigs set around the explosive._

"So, basically, we've set up four targets at varying distances from the bomb to test the effective range." TL explained, "If there's lethality in one, we'll calculate if it's popped the eardrums, compressed the lung, anything."

_After getting a safe distance, the team prepares for the blast._

"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!!!"

KA-BOOM!!!

In an explosion of flame, the bomb went off, creating a thick shroud of smoke. When it died down, the true damage was revealed. The two closest pigs were lacerated by the blast's shrapnel, but two of the pigs almost looked unscathed.

Lunatic, however, whooped at the top of his lungs. "OH, MAN! LOOK AT 'EM! THIS GUY'S DEAD! THIS GUY'S DEAD!"

"Cool your jets, bro." TL said, "Two of these guys may have been unscathed."

_The bomb failed to kill two pigs at a safer distance, but there are other factors to take in._

"I attached some sensors to the pigs and I got some good sound readings." TL stated, "I think one will at least be blown back and one may have popped eardrums."

_The bomb packs a nasty blast, but the Sora supporters aren't worried one bit._

"There are several flaws to bombs." Riku said, "First of all, the bombs take time to explode and gives Sora a chance to move away. Second of all, this thing is just as dangerous to the owner as it is to the opponent."

_Team Sora fires back with another of the Keyblade's many features: magic._

"Sora is a great magic-wielder." Mickey said, holding up his own Keyblade, "He wields fire, ice, thunder, and many other forms. The fire spell, though, is good for attacking enemies that are all around him."

_The Fire Spell: a circle of flames that few enemies dare to enter._

Fire Spell:  
Size: variable  
Weight: variable  
Substance: Fire, Magic

"So, your guy is basically the one-weapon master, huh?" D-Dude asked, holding the Keyblade in his claws, "This thing is good with close-quarter and magic attacks."

"Yup. If you have enemies all around you, you can roast them with a good fire spell." Mickey said, taking the blade back and causing a small fire ball to come out of the tip of the Key.

"Okay, but this thing's WAY too dangerous to test in here." TL pointed out, "Loon, pack your bags. We're taking this outside."

_Once outside, TL has set up four dummies with heat sensors put at different distances._

"Alright, here are your targets, Mickey. Those sensors will tell if they're burning up or if they're just getting hot. Think you can take 'em out, your majesty?" TL asked.

"Yup." Mickey answered, setting himself in the center of the test dummies.

"THREE! TWO! ONE! FIRE!!!"

Mickey lifted the Keyblade and fire encircled him, scorching the dummies. In a few seconds, they had caught fire and were slowly turning black. The furthest dummy only got its front scorched, but it didn't seem to be seriously burned. The other ones, though…

"I'm getting over fifteen-hundred degrees Fahrenheit here!" TL called.

_1500 degrees Fahrenheit is easily as hot as the inside of a crematorium._

The flames died down and D-Dude went in to examine the damage. "Yup. Even the furthest guy, he's down for the count. This is truly a nightmarish way to die: you're cooking inside even after the blast has stopped."

_The Fire Spell is a deadly spell, but is it better than the bomb?_

"Straight up, I'm giving it to the Fire Spell." TL answered, "The fire spell is safe to use and roasts your opponent as he gets closer. The bomb takes time to activate and that gives you a second or two to get out of the way."

"Fire vs. Bomb, it's a close call, but I'm giving it to the Fire Spell. Even if your opponent keeps a slight distance from you, you can still roast him. Whether, the worst you'll get from the same distance as the bomb is a popped eardrum." D-Dude said.

_The Fire Spell gives Sora the edge in Special Weapons._

_But now it's time for each team to fire back with their distance weapons._

"If you want to challenge Link to a distance fight, GREAT." Ashei said, "He'll put an arrow through you, then walk away as the winner."

_For distance fighting, Link brings a traditional weapon to the fray: the Hero's Bow._

Hero's Bow:  
Size: 4 feet  
Range: 30yds  
Substance: Wood, iron arrowheads, bowstring

Ashei held out the hero's bow in her armor-clad hand. "This is the hero's bow: a weapon used by the Hylian Guard. And if you're not impressed by this, look at the arrows…"

Dimensiondude took one arrow in his claw, carefully inspecting it. TL and Lunatic also leaned in to get a close look at the arrow.

"Ooh, this arrowhead has some small outgrowths." TL said, tapping one of the sharp growths with his finger.

"This means it'll go deeper when it hits its target and it'll be even more painful to try and pull it out." Dimensiondude said, making a sort of "example" with the air.

"What's the effective range of this thing?" Lunatic asked.

"A good archer can kill someone from about twenty yards, but if you're as good an archer as I am, and Link certainly is, then a distance like thirty yards is no problem." Ashei answered.

"I've seen a lot of people boast accuracy with the bow." Lunatic pointed out, "I'd like to see you deliver the goods."

"Fine. I'll call my shots just to prove just how good a bow is in the hand of an expert." Ashei said, accepting Loon's challenge.

A few seconds later, Ashei was faced with two dummies. She took an arrow, strung it, then took aim.

"Dummy on the left, right shoulder." She said, then let the arrow loose. It hit its mark: right on the left dummy's right shoulder.

"Dummy on the right, sword arm." POW. Right in the arm.

"Dummy on the left, ribcage."

"Dummy on the right, throat."

_After a few rigorous tests of the bow, our experts are impressed._

"Wow…you call your shots and you nailed 'em all." TL said, impressed, "And you were at least fifteen yards away."

"Well, to make things a little more interesting, how about we take this outside and I try something different?" Ashei asked, her free hand on her hip, "Why don't we take this outside and I shoot from a greater distance?"

The team took things out and prepared for whatever was about to happen. A dummy had been set up thirty yards away and Ashei readied an arrow. One eye closed, she took careful aim at the small target and let it loose.

Direct hit in the ribcage.

Ashei took another arrow, then aimed a little higher. On being released, the arrow flew through the air and pelted the target on the shoulder.

Ashei took one more arrow, then fired to hit the dummy right in the neck. She nodded in satisfaction, knowing that she had killed Sora three times over.

"Let's see what we got…" D-Dude said, trotting over to the dummy.

_At a distance, the bow is easily as efficient. But were the attacks lethal?_

Dimensiondude inspected the arrows carefully, then nodded. "Yeah, this guy's done on at least two of these hits. The first arrow got him just above the heart, severing an artery. The third arrow hit him right in the throat. The second, though, hit him in the shoulder: not particularly a fatal wound, but a crippling blow nonetheless."

_As impressed as the experts are, Team Sora is just not buying it._

"The bow was effective because all the targets weren't moving." Riku shot down, "If you're faced with a moving target, like Sora is, nothing beats a good Ice Spell."

_For long-range weapons, Sora had a cold way of dealing with his enemies…_

_The Ice Spell: an icy projectile weapon used to hold the enemy still and to let Sora cross the gap._

Ice Spell:  
Size: variable  
Weight: Variable  
Substance: Magic, Ice

"I give to you the Ice Spell." Mickey said, creating a small orb of ice from the tip of his Keyblade, "It homes in on its target, unlike those arrows, and is made to keep the enemy in one place so you can get 'em."

"Nice…" Lunatic said with a nod, "But what's the effective range?"

"I'd wager up to fifteen yards." Mickey answered, "If your opponent's too far away, a sidestep is usually enough to avoid it."

"A sidestep is enough." Rusl said, his arms folded, "That's a game ender right there. Then Link will shoot you down from further away."

"You can brag about that bow all you want, 'cuz like I said before, it only goes in one direction." Riku pointed out.

"Guys, save that for later." TL coaxed, "Let's just see what this spell can do."

Three wooden targets were set up as Riku took aim with the Keyblade, holding it like it was some kind of gun. He fired, sending a ball of ice at the bottommost target. The ice hit the target, turning it into a discus of frost.

Riku fired again, the second target coating in a layer of ice the same way as the first. And with one last blast, the last target was turned to ice.

"Yeah!" Riku said with a confident nod.

_After witnessing high-speed footage, our experts debate on whose distance weapon is greater._

"The Ice Spell does have homing features, but the bad side is that it's slower than the arrows of the Hero's bow. It gives you a second to evade while the bow and arrow makes you act even faster to evade." TL said, "I'm giving it ALL to the bow."

_In long-range weapons, Link emerges victorious with the Hero's Bow._

_--_

_Two great swordsmen are prepping for a fight: Hyrule's Hero, Link, and the Keyblade Master, Sora. Who will remain standing? Who will lie dead at the other's feet?_

"Link is, without a doubt, the greatest warrior that Hyrule has ever known." Rusl boasted, "He couldn't afford to fail when it came to taking down his enemies. If he does fail, then that means some dark force will take over."

_Link comes from a long line of heroes under the same name and birthright. The birthright was the Triforce of Courage, and it was because of it that Link remains tied to two other people._

"Link is one of the three chosen ones destined to repeat history." Ashei informed, "The other two are Princess Zelda with the Triforce of Wisdom and Ganondorf with the Triforce of Power."

_Each generation of Link had to defeat Ganondorf, or Ganon as the legends call him, and each one was capable of wielding the sacred Master Sword. Combined with Zelda, nothing would stop them._

_But Sora is no stranger to destiny either…_

"Sora is greater than Link because he, unlike Link, has to keep multiple worlds safe." Riku said, the Keyblade over his shoulder, "If he fails, then that means the Heartless or Nobodies will take over all the worlds and do what they want."

_Sora's weapon is a rare kind. They used to be many in number, but what used to be millions of Keybladers across the universe soon became only five or six. Sora has to use the Keyblade to lock and unlock other worlds, keeping them safe from evil._

"If the gateways to worlds aren't closed, then the Heartless or Nobodies will invade that world." Mickey explained, "And no matter how many times you defeat the Heartless or Nobodies, you won't stop them until the door's closed. And Sora's not just fighting for the world, he's fighting for his friends."

_Sora believes greatly in friendship, having traveled with King Mickey's Top Mage and Captain of the Guards. He's done things for his friends not many would dare attempt, including turning himself into a Heartless._

_Sora's signature mid-range weapons unleashed a shocking assault on his enemy._

_The Thunder Spell: a virtually laser-guided bolt that rains down from the sky._

Thunder:  
Size: Variable  
Weight: Variable  
Substance: Electricity, Magic

Mickey held up his Keyblade and a small spark of electricity shot from his weapon's tip. "The Thunder Spell is a good work of magic because it strikes where your opponent doesn't expect: the sky."

"So, this thing can strike from afar. How far is that?" TL asked.

"It's around the same range as the Ice Spell, but it's FAR more reliable." Riku answered, "It can also be used for a three-punch combo."

_In the hands of a Keyblader, the Thunder Spell is swift, deceptive, and lethal._

The Fictor brothers and the Sora supporters headed outside where five dummies were set up, four in a circle around one.

"So, basically, I want you to hit that guy in the middle and we'll see if the blast from the lightning is enough to kill the guys around him." TL said, gesturing to a few patches on the dummies, "The green patches, should the center turn red, will show a definite kill."

"Think you can take 'em all out?" Lunatic asked.

"No problem." Mickey said, summoning his Keyblade.

Getting a reasonable distance away, Mickey readied his weapon.

"THREE! TWO! ONE! LET 'ER RIP!!!"

Mickey raised his Keyblade, pointing its tip to the sky and a spark shot from his blade. A second later, a burst of lightning came down on the middle target, frying it and knocking the other dummies away in the process.

_The Thunder Spell is a nasty combo, but did it kill all the targets?_

TL went over to the dummies, then picked one of them up. "Oh yeah, this guy's dead. Another one is dead, but those three over there…they're still alive, though knocked back."

"So, it's two out of five kills." D-Dude said, very satisfied, "I'd still wager that they were at least stunned as they fought. They're still alive, but I don't think they're fighting anymore."

_As effective as the Thunder Spell is, how good is it against a Hylian warrior?_

"Electrical attacks have one major flaw." Rusl pointed out, "If that person is wearing metal, which Link has tons of, then there's more chance that he'll live. And it doesn't come much bigger than this…" Rusl held out a large, iron sphere on a chain.

_The Ball and Chain: a twelve-pound sledgehammer that can be thrown from a distance or used to bludgeon the enemy._

Ball and Chain:  
Size: 15ft  
Weight: 12lbs  
Substance: Iron

"Alright…" D-Dude said as Rusl and Ashei entered with the ball and chain, "This is what I was talking about…"

"This thing is basically a portable wrecking ball." Ashei said, weighing the ball in her hand, "It destroys anything in its path. If you don't get out of its way, you're DEAD."

"You also notice how much this thing weighs just by looking at it." Rusl said, hefting the ball, "It's big enough to be used as a shield, it's THAT heavy."

_To test the force of the ball and chain as a close-quarter weapon, TL places pressure sensors on the target: a foam dummy…_

"Alright, this thing will determine whether or not bones are broken, whether you've ruptured organs, or broken the spine." TL said, pointing out the target.

"I'm telling you that this weapon will destroy that guy." Rusl said, holding up the heavy ball of iron.

"Let's put that to the test, then…" Lunatic challenged.

Rusl got a little closer to the test, then spun the ball and chain around. He extended it a little, then smashed it across the dummy's head. He took a step back, then smashed the heavy ball into the dummy's side. His final strike was a little lower than the second strike, hitting the dummy's hip.

_High-Speed footage shows the true damage the ball and chain can dish out…_

"There we are…first strike to the head." TL said as he watched it all happen in slow motion. "Anything that ball hits is an instant kill. Broke the neck on the first strike, crushed ribs on the second, and smashed the hip on the last one."

"And that's if it's used as a close-quarter weapon." Rusl explained, "It can also hit from a distance, using the long chain to draw it back."

_The ball and chain is a deadly close-quarter weapon, but how will it hold up as a distance weapon?_

"Link was also famous for using this as a throwing weapon." Rusl said, "Even at fifteen to twenty feet, he'll break his enemies in two."

"Is it an accurate weapon?" D-Dude asked, "I've seen the ball and chain as distance weapons before…"

"No, it's not like that." Rusl answered, "You simply hold onto one end of the chain and let the ball go. The power this thing unleashes is truly devastating."

_To test the ball and chain as a distance weapon, the team sets up a new torso. Just one catch: it's not gel, but ice._

Rusl spun the ball and chain over his head, then threw it at the cinderblock dummy. The massive ball flew through the air and hit it full-on, smashing its head off. Rusl pulled the ball back and nodded in satisfaction.

"Wow…even at fifteen feet away, you nailed this guy." D-Dude said, picking up the ice dummy's head.

"I still don't like the fact that you have to pull this sucker back in order to use him again." Lunatic pointed out, "That gives Sora enough time to cross the gap and strike."

"Well, if that's the case," Ashei said, her hands on her hips, "I'll just ditch this weapon and take your head off."

"Ball and Chain vs. Thunder Spell, thunder spell all the way." TL said, shaking his head.

_After a brief struggle, Sora's Thunder Spell gets the edge in mid-range weapons._

_--_

_The testing is complete: it is time to find out who the Deadliest Warrior is between Sora and Link._

_Our experts are divided…_

"Pre-game prediction, I'm giving it to Sora." TL said, "He's fast, efficient, and will defeat his enemies in no time flat."

"Link is going to take this match." Lunatic disagreed, "His shield took the biggest hit from Sora's best weapon without a scratch and his weaponry is one-hit-one-kill style."

_We tested five of Link's traditional arms: the Master Sword and Hero's Shield combo, the Bomb, Bow and Arrow, and the Ball and Chain._

_We also tested four of Sora's attack patterns: The Kingdom Key and spells of Fire, Ice, and Thunder._

_In close-quarter combat, Link's sword and shield combo was pitted against the Kingdom Key._

"The Master Sword can kill six people around Link. And since Sora isn't wearing any armor, that makes him at this sword's mercy. The Kingdom Key can certainly get through Link's chain mail, but Link's shield took the biggest hit from that Key and Link would still be able to fight.

Edge: Link

_In mid-range weapons, Sora's thunder spell went up against the bone-crushing ball and chain._

"The ball and chain is certainly a deadly weapon, but it's heavy and unwieldy. The thunder spell, though it may not be a definite killing strike, is accurate and will hit from a further distance than the ball and chain."

Edge: Sora

_In special weapons, Link's bombs competed against the Fire Spell._

"The bomb gives you a few seconds to get out of its effective range and strike back. The fire spell is an instant access weapon and a surprise attack at a short distance."

Edge: Sora

_In long-range weapons, Link's accurate and simple bow went up against the shorter-range and homing Ice Spell._

"The Ice Spell only has a few meters' worth of range that the homing can work. The arrow has pinpoint accuracy and can strike from well beyond the Ice Spell's range. I have to go with the bow."

Edge: Link

_Lunatic readies the computer to simulate the battle between the two swordsmen. It's time to find out who is the Deadliest Warrior._

_It will be a battle of opposites: Head-on assault…_

(Link slashes a Lizalfo, then runs it through with a growl)

_vs. Tactical Moves._

(Sora leaps behind a Large Body Heartless and hacks it in the back)

_Brute Force…_

(Link smashes an enemy with the Ball and Chain)

_vs. Amazing Agility._

(Sora leaps into the air to strike a flying Heartless)

"Here we go, guys. Let's get it on…" Lunatic said, then pressed the enter key.

--the fight--

Out in the vast plains of Hyrule, a boy of no older than fifteen and clad in black walked through the lush land. This was Sora, the Keyblade's chosen warrior.

Over the hills he spotted an unfamiliar figure: a figure with blonde hair, pointy ears, and green garbs. THIS was Link, the Hero of Time and protector of Hyrule.

Link gave his opponent a good look, then took out his bow, strung an arrow, then fired. The arrow whistled through the air and hit Sora in his right pectoral. Sora yelped in pain, then pulled the arrow out. He quickly jumped to the side as another arrow whistled through the air and narrowly missed his head.

Realizing that this guy was attacking him, Sora summoned his Kingdom Key Keyblade and raised it into the air. A spark flew from the tip and, before Link had time to realize what happened, lightning rained down from the skies and hit him full-on.

Link fell flat-out on his back. The Thunder Spell had hurt him, but not fatally. Sora, taking a chance, took his Keyblade in hand and charged Link. The Hero of Time rolled to his feet, and Sora noticed. He pointed his Keyblade at Link like a gun.

"FREEZE!"

A ball of ice shot from the tip of the Keyblade, but Link took a sprint and rolled under it. Once at a good distance, Link took out the ball and chain, spun it over his head, and lobbed it at Sora. Sora sidestepped the massive projectile, then took a swing with his Keyblade.

Link, acting fast, dropped the chain end of his weapon and flipped backward to put some distance between him and Sora. Sora crossed the distance quickly, but met with Link's hero's shield on his first strike. The Keyblade hit the shield and the recoil forced Sora back a step.

Link knocked Sora back with his shield, then reached into a pouch on his belt and took out a bomb. Taking some flint from the same pouch, he struck the metallic side of the bomb, the sparks lighting the fuse. He bowled it at Sora…a few seconds too slow. The Keyblade Master saw it and quickly got a good distance away. When the bomb blew, the worst it dead was knock him facedown on the ground.

Link advanced, drawing his signature weapon: the blade of Evil's Bane. It was the Master Sword.

Link advanced on Sora, who got back on his feet and clenched his whole body. Fire erupted in a circle around him and Link so narrowly avoided its effective range that he felt it crisp his hair.

After a few seconds, Sora had run out of magic. NOW, it was time to get down and personal. He raised the Keyblade up and at an angle.

Both swordsmen circled each other, blades at the ready, waiting for the other to make a move.

Sora moved first with a high swing from the Keyblade. Link blocked the strike with his shield and made to slash Sora's gut only to meet thin air. Sora had jumped back and took a sideways swing only to meet Link's sword.

Sora angled the sword a little, then struck Link hard on the shoulder. Link staggered to the side, then rolled before Sora could land another hit on him. Getting back on his feet, Link took a hack at Sora, hitting the Keyblade in a sharp parry. Link charged forward, using his sheer weight to push Sora backward and stun him.

Sora jumped to the side, then took a swing at Link's legs. The Hylian hero flipped backward, then jumped at Sora. Sora positioned the Kingdom Key horizontally to parry it, then pushed Link away.

Sora sprang and brought the Keyblade down in a jump strike of his own, but only met Link's shield with a resounding CLANG. Link quickly pushed Sora away again, then slashed with the Master Sword. The blade grazed Sora's side, shedding blood and causing the boy to yelp in pain.

Sora ignored the pain as he swung at Link with his Keyblade again, this time unleashing a flurry of strikes. Link backtracked to avoid a few, but one landed itself on his leg and he stopped, but not before raising his shield to block an attack. Link jumped to the side once, then rolled across the ground and sprang back up.

Sora acted quickly, but Link sharply brought the shield ramming into the Keyblader. Sora stumbled backward and fell on his seat. He scrambled backward to put some distance between him and Link before flipping back up to his feet.

Link turned to face his enemy, then positioned his sword so that it was pointing behind him. Sora, seizing an opportunity, sprang at him…half a second too slow. Link performed his traditional spin attack and Sora had run right into it. The spinning blade caught Sora across the thighs, cutting deep into his legs.

Sora cried out in pain, then landed on the ground, clutching his wounds. Yet as he slowly went into a sitting position, he looked into the eyes of his opponent one last time.

The last thing he felt was Link's Master Sword driving itself right through his chest and exiting out his back.

Sora fell to the ground and Link withdrew his blade from Sora's body. On seeing that his enemy was dead, he mustered his energy and unleashed it into a victorious roar to the heavens.

--

Winner: Link

"Link won this fight because he had superior weaponry." Lunatic explained, "And he was a warrior with MANY weapons, unlike Sora, who only relied on one weapon and some ineffective magic."

_Out of a thousand battles, Link won 546 times; his deadliest weapon being his sword and bombs._

Link kills…  
Sword and Shield: 160  
Hero's Bow: 130  
Bomb: 150  
Ball and Chain: 6  
Total Kills: 546

_Sora only managed 454 times; the Thunder Spell being his deadliest weapon. But it wasn't enough._

Sora kills…  
Keyblade: 122  
Ice: 110  
Fire: 6  
Thunder: 126  
Total Kills: 454

"If Sora had more ranged attacks and weapons better suited for killing, I think he would have stood a better chance." TL stated, "I don't care if you can dish out beatings, you're NOT getting up once you've been crushed or cut open."

"Deadlier weapons, Longer range, and gunpowder," D-Dude went on, "I'm not surprised Link won."

"Hmph." Riku huffed, "This would NOT happen in real life. A computer can't simulate a warrior's spirit, his skill, or adaptability."

"Of course the best warrior won." Ashei said, smiling for the first time on the show, "There's no shame in losing to Hyrule's greatest warrior."

(Link positions his sword behind his shield, then raises it so that the tip points to the sky while his shield arm drops to the side.)

_With apologies to KH fans everywhere…_


	3. William Wallace vs The Scorpion King

**William Wallace  
**(A Scottish man with brown hair, a beard, and blue markings on his face stood with a sword in hand)

The legendary Scottish warrior that led a ruthless rebellion against the British Empire.

(William Wallace charges a group of English Knights with his troop of Scotsmen)

**Mathyas the Scorpion King  
**(An Akkadian man with long, black hair and a hide shirt stood with his scimitar hanging at his side)

A legendary warrior who killed the greatest swordsman to become King of Gomorra.

(The Scorpion King slashes through soldiers, then spins around to run another through)

WHO IS DEADLIEST?

To find out, our world-class fighters are testing fiction's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first-century science, we find out what would happen when the two warriors go toe-to-toe.

No rules, no safety, no mercy: It's a duel to the death to decide who is…

_**The Deadliest Warrior**_

Amidst the Fight Club, several people were doing different kinds of testing. Two people were practicing with swords and shields, others with two mini-scythes of sorts. Others were running computer data and taking in numbers.

_In our fight club, we're preparing for battle. We've gathered a team of scientists, doctors, and combat experts to simulate a battle between two revolutionary warriors…_

_William Wallace: The Scottish rebel who fought for freedom from the British Empire and popularized in the movie "Braveheart"._

_  
Vs. Mathyas: The legendary Scorpion King and master of sword and assassination, making a debut in "The Mummy Returns"._

**William Wallace…  
Time: 1272-1305  
****Land: Scotland  
****Gear: 35lbs  
****Armor: Chain mail**

**Scorpion King…  
****Time: 3090BC-3060BC  
****Land: Gomorra  
****Gear: 15lbs  
****Armor: Hide**

A white hedgehog with cowboy boots, a golden mane, and unmatching gloves walked in.

_Biomedical engineer and media expert, **TLSoulDude**, will test to see how much damage the two swordsmen can inflict._

"This is going to be a very interesting match; William Wallace vs. The Scorpion King." TL informed, "They're almost four-thousand years apart, so this is a big deal…"

A green raptor-creature with wings walked in, inspecting a ballistics gel torso.

_Biologist and historian, __**Dimensiondude**__, will gauge the deadly efficiency of each weapon._

"If they're dead, I'll tell ya. If they're unconscious, I'll tell ya. Even if they're still breathing…"

A short, redheaded, spiky-haired guy came in and typed a few things into a computer to make sure it was ready to go.

_Computer wiz, __**Lunatic 121**__, will take the test results and download it into a computer made to simulate fight scenes._

"This fight, we're looking at two completely different warriors." Lunatic pointed out, "William Wallace is known for his weapons being one-hit-one-kill, but the Scorpion King may have a slight edge in fighting style and stealth."

_Our William Wallace supporters are confident that the Scotsman has already won._

A young man in blue clothes and hat was wielding a very long and heavy-looking sword. What was odd was the pair of doglike ears sticking out of his head.

_Rooting for Wallace, __**Hurricane's Quill**_ _is a master of European weapons and swords. He's provided weapons for another fight program, "Deadliest Author"._

"When it comes to warriors, few can rival William Wallace." Quill stated, confidently, "Scorpion King is jumpy, but we have chain mail and he's got nothing."

Sparring with Quill was a younger, shorter man with purple hair and green eyes. He had a shield in one hand and a dagger in the other.

_Scottish-born __**Roscoso **__has knowledge of the Scottish ways of warfare. He knows highlander weapons well…_

"William Wallace is, without a doubt, one of the greatest warriors to ever exist." Ross said, shaking his head, "To the English, he was a no-good rebel. But to the Scots…he was a god."

_Born in Medieval Scotland, William Wallace fought against the British Empire when they tried to take over the land. His fighting spirit was fueled by one of the most human emotions ever: revenge._

"He married a beautiful girl and the English murdered her." Ross said, "It was there and then that he went over the edge. He basically said, we're going to do to you what you've been doing to us for the last few hundred years."

_Our William Wallace experts are confident…but so are those rooting for Mathyas, the Scorpion King._

On the other side of the Fight Club, two guys were sparring. One was wielding a curved sword, the other, a pair of mini-scythes.

The first one was tall, clad in black, and had a demonic-looking mask on. He was the one wielding the curved sword.

_**X Prodigy**__ will be leading the way for the Scorpion King. He's an expert in Mathyas' sword and archery tactics._

"There's something about the Scorpion King that William Wallace is going to find out REAL fast." X Prodigy stated, "If he's coming for you, he's coming to KILL you."

The one sparring with X had black skin, short hair and typical rapper clothes. He was the one wielding the scythes.

_**Charles Roberts **__is a master martial artist and skilled in the use of several weapons. He shows the acrobatics used by the Scorpion King and the skill of each weapon._

"Mathyas was raised to be a killer: he would go in, kill as many people as he needed, then have a nice day." Charles boasted, "Wallace is NOTHING."

_Mathyas first became the Scorpion King when he killed the former king of Gomorra. After an age of peace, Mathyas rose up to become a great military force, summoning up an army only to fall against Thebes._

"What's interesting is that Mathyas never died in war." Charles explained, "He only perished when he was given a deal and was forced to live up to it. THAT meant death."

_But how would the Ancient World's greatest killer fare against the ferocious Scottish Rebel?_

"Mathyas' goal would be to kill William Wallace." Charles explained, "He'll want to get the Scot's blood on his blade."

"It's really no contest." Ross said, shaking his head, "Mathyas should really be called the Cockroach King, 'cuz Wallace is going to crush him like one."

"Pre-game prediction-wise, Mathyas' fighting style will be so alien to William Wallace." Lunatic pointed out, "I think it's that thing that'll give him a necessary edge."

"One-hundred percent, I'm giving it to William Wallace." TL said, "He's got weapons that'll run right through Mathyas no problem."

_One of William Wallace's signature weapons was one of the largest swords ever forged…_

(Roscoso held up a massive blade, then twirled it before returning it to its point-up position)

_The Claymore: with its four-foot length, it delivers death at a distance._

Claymore:  
Size: 4.5ft  
Weight. 5.5lbs  
Substance: Carbon Steel

Quill went over to the Fictor bros., holding the claymore to show them. "There's a reason Wallace grew to the stature of legend, and it was wielding this blade. He would lop heads with this thing, cut off arms, cut off legs."

"That blade is HUGE…" D-Dude said, impressed, "And the way you wield it…THAT'S even more impressive."

"You have to be VERY strong and very skilled to wield this sword." Quill warned.

_To test the claymore's lethal strike, TL sets up a special target…_

"Alright, you wanna lop heads, here are a few 'meat necks' here with skulls to add icing to the cake." TL said, pointing at three skulls mounted on pieces of meat the same shape as necks.

"Can you handle that?" Lunatic asked.

"Sure can." Quill answered. A few seconds later, Quill stood at the ready, Claymore held to the side.

"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!"

With one movement of his arm, Quill swung the claymore. In that four-and-a-half-foot radius, the blade of the claymore cut clean through each neck. The hunter slung the claymore over his shoulder, then nodded, showing every hint of satisfaction.

"Wow…" TL said in amazement, "I didn't think that was remotely possible…"

"Well, now you know better." Quill said, holding out the claymore.

"And get this…" D-Dude pointed out, "Whatever those heads saw before getting hacked, that's going to be the LAST conscious thing they see."

"Basically, anything in this sword's way is going down." Ross explained, "It's like the grim reaper."

_Despite the demonstration of the claymore's killing power, Team Scorpion is NOT impressed._

"Meat necks don't move, y'know." Charles pointed out, "If you got something as fast and deadly as the Scorpion King, a slow weapon is of no help to you."

"Oh, and what armor does YOUR guy have?" Ross asked, "A hide shirt? Sure, it allows maneuverability, but you can't beat a chain mail shirt."

"It's not the armor of the Scorpion King: it's the sheer skill and mindset." X said, shaking his head, "I doubt William Wallace has anything remotely close to that of Mathyas."

_The Scorpion King also brings a deadly blade to the fight._

_The Scimitar: a two-foot, one-handed sword made to cut the enemy up, then move on to others._

Scimitar:  
Size: 2.5ft  
Weight: 3lbs  
Substance: Steel

X Prodigy came in with a shorter, more curved blade in his hand. "Gentlemen, I give to you the Scorpion King's scimitar. It's shorter, faster, and allows a closer range than your unwieldy claymore."

"Unwieldy, who're you callin' unwieldy?" Ross asked, "We've shown that we CAN be maneuverable with our claymore, it just requires a little skill."

"It takes skill to wield this scimitar, too." Charles said, "Only its killing factor is FAR swifter than that blade."

"The claymore requires a lot of room in order for you to use it." X pointed out, "With THIS, I can get in close and still deliver as much damage."

"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is, guys?" Lunatic challenged, "Put that blade to the test."

_How will the Scorpion King's signature weapon fare against a moving target? The target: a 125-lb, flying pig…_

"By cutting this pig, we'll be able to estimate what kind of damage a weapon can do to a human." D-Dude explained.

_X Prodigy readies himself with the scimitar…_

TL set the pig up some distance away, then called over to X. "Ready, X?"

"Ready…"

"Three…two…one…GO!"

The pig up in the rafters raced right at X, who moved to the side and gave it a good hack with the scimitar. The blade almost cut the pig in two, leaving its inside visible for the whole world to see.

"It doesn't take a genius to see that this pig is down for the count." D-Dude said, "You've cut straight through the spinal column and the only thing holding it together is a few pieces of muscle and some ligament."

"So…he's dead?" Charles asked.

"Yup." D-Dude said, "Just like samurai punishment."

_As deadly as the scimitar is, Team Wallace is unmoved._

"I WASN'T impressed with the scimitar." Quill stated, "Strictly because it's a slashing weapon. Chain mail was designed to stop slashing weapons just like it."

_Feeling confident, Team Scorpion is put to the test: Scorpion King sword vs. William Wallace chain mail…_

X Prodigy held the scimitar at the ready, and on receiving the signal, he roared and slashed at the chain mail with it. On seeing no visible damage, he swung again.

In the end, he grumbled as the experts went in to inspect the damage. D-Dude inspected the chain mail with his claws…

"Well, other than a few nicked rings, there's no visible damage." D-Dude said, "This is bad, Scorpion King guys. He took a hit from your signature weapon and he's still coming at you."

"If that was the case, Mathyas wouldn't try attacking the chain mail." Charles countered, "He'd take William Wallace's head off with another swing."

_Now that both have been tested, which blade is superior?_

"I'm giving it ALL to the claymore." TL voted, "When that thing is swung, The Scorpion King won't be able to stop it. The scimitar failed to cut through the chain mail, so…armored Wallace vs. unarmored Scorpion: Wallace wins."

_In mid-range combat, the edge goes to William Wallace with the claymore._

_But the warrior behind the blade may be the deciding factor._

"William Wallace wanted the best of the best in his army of highlanders." Ross explained, "If they weren't good enough to be in battle, he'd train them to BE good enough."

"Mathyas was born in a warrior culture." Charles said, "He was trained for decades in the deadly arts. The only guys he would take with him would be guys just as strong and deadly as he was."

_Both William Wallace and the Scorpion King were deadly efficient in long-range weapons. And William Wallace brought a bone-crunching projectile to battle with him…_

_The Ball and Chain: three feet of bone-smashing power that could be thrown or swung._

Ball and Chain:  
Size: 3ft  
Weight: 12lbs  
Substance: Iron

"Ooh…" TL said as Ross and Quill came into the room with the ball and chain, "The ball and chain…"

"Yes, this is probably one of the deadliest projectiles ever used in battle." Ross said, "The ball doesn't look heavy, but here, hold this and you'll see."

TL held the iron ball in his hand, then realized just how heavy this thing really was. "Very dense…"

"This thing will smash anything it hits." HQ said, "If it hits you in the leg, it's busted. In the rib, it's busted."

_To test the power of the ball and chain, the team sets up an ice dummy placed on a pressure mat._

Ross took the ball and chain in hand, then spun it before lobbing it at the dummy. The heavy projectile flew through the air, but failed to hit the target. The ring used to hold the ball of iron only nicked the head while the whole weapon clattered behind the target.

Ross chuckled a little. "Sorry. This isn't the most accurate of weapons…"

Ross got the ball back, spun it again, then lobbed it once more. The ball collided with the mat, but didn't hit the target. Grunting in disdain, Ross got the ball back, then lobbed it at the target.

This time, the ball collided with the ice sculpture, shattering the shoulder and taking the head off in the process. At seeing this, the Pokemorph raised his hands in success.

"About time…" TL said, almost impatiently, "And here's the guy's head…"

The hedgehog picked up the head of the ice torso while the other members checked on the damage via the high-speed footage.

"I can definitely see this smashing anything it comes into contact with. It's like a wrecking ball…" Lunatic said, fingering his chin, "But I still don't like the fact that it took you THREE tries to hit this guy."

"I'm totally agreeing on this." D-Dude said, "If you can't hit your target on your first strike, this thing is dead weight. And dead weight against a fast opponent is NOT a good option."

_Team Scorpion, like our experts, is NOT impressed with the ball and chain. They also claim to have a throwing weapon that's more accurate…_

"The problem with the ball and chain is the sheer weight." Charles said, holding up the ball and chain. "If it's lighter and easier to throw, you're gonna kill someone quicker, like with this surujin."

Charles emphasized his point by holding up a chain with two small weights on both ends.

_The Surujin: a three-foot chain with twin weights that can be thrown without too much strain._

Surujin:  
Size: 3ft  
Weight: 3lbs  
Substance: Chain, Lead weight

_The Surujin is a third of the ball and chain's weight, but Team Scorpion claims it's far more accurate and efficient._

"The good side to the surujin is that it's light, easily concealed, and silent." X said, showing TL and Loony the chain weapon.

"It's not necessarily a killing weapon." Charles pointed out, "It's a stunning weapon, but The Scorpion King can cross a distances of eight to fifteen feet in no time flat."

"Well, let's put your words to the test." TL said, "I've rigged up a row of splatter-balls and I want you to do one thing: bust them, then we'll see if you've broken a bone."

"With this…I'll do it with NO problem." Charles said, slinging the chain over his shoulder.

_Charles takes aim with the surujin…_

"Three…two…one…THROW IT!"

Charles spun the chain over his head, then lobbed it at the balls of glass. On impact, the chain smashed through all the balls, either end or middle landing direct hits. The balls shattered, releasing a red liquid that splattered all across the floor.

"OOH!" Lunatic said, surprised at the action, "I've seen less glass in a car accident."

_The chain batters the glass orbs…but is it more efficient than the ball and chain?_

"Alright, the main question is 'were you aiming at the balls' and I say 'YES'." Lunatic said, earning a nod from Charles.

"It's similar to the ball and chain, but unlike that piece of dead weight, I hit it dead-on." Charles boasted.

"I'll agree with you on that." D-Dude said, "This isn't a killing weapon, but it'll certainly see hits long before the ball and chain does."

_In long-range weaponry, the Scorpion King gets the edge with the surujin._

--

_So far, both William Wallace and Mathyas the Scorpion King are at even ends. So, what's behind the weapon may be the deciding vote…_

"William Wallace, if he knew you were an enemy, would cut you straight to pieces." Ross boasted, "He showed no mercy, relished in getting the enemy's blood on his weapon, and grew to the stature of near-godhood in the commoner's eye."

"Mathyas was trained for years to do what he did best." X countered, "And that was killing things. You pick a fight with him, and you're dead three times before you hit the ground."

_In close-quarter combat, both wielded wicked weaponry to smash or hack._

_William Wallace brings in the War Hammer: a crushing tool with a flat side used to crush heads and a pike to rip open armor._

War Hammer: (MAN! I love this weapon test from Deadliest Warrior)  
Size: 22in  
Weight: 6lbs  
Substance: Iron head, wooden handle

_The Scorpion King brings the Short Axe: a pike-blade combo that could also be thrown like a boomerang._

Short Axe:  
Size: 18in  
Weight: 4lbs  
Substance: Iron blade, wooden handle

_But which close-quarter weapon is deadlier?_

"Lunatic and gentlemen, I give you the war hammer." HQ said, holding out the heavy weapon, "If I hit you with this weapon, I guarantee you'll be down for the count in no time."

"I can tell…" D-Dude said, scraping the surface of the flat side with his claw, "THIS will dent the armor, but the OTHER end will rip it open."

"Why don't I show you what it does to an UNARMORED opponent like the Scorpion King?" HQ asked.

"Bring it on…" Lunatic challenged.

_To test the potency of the war hammer, two skulls are set up. One fresh, the other encased in ballistics gel._

"GO!"

HQ roared, then slammed the flat end on the fresh skull. The skull seemed to disintegrate on contact, the remnants resembling dust. HQ turned the hammer over to the pike side, then smashed it into the gel head. The spike drove itself straight through the top of the skull and worked its way in deeper on impact.

After Quill withdrew the war hammer, Dimensiondude went in to inspect it. He did NOT look disappointed.

"You don't have to be a genius to see what he did on the first strike." D-Dude said, "The SECOND, however…" Dimensiondude inserted a claw into the hole and felt around. "That thing went into the skull and drove itself…right to the roof of the mouth."

"So, what you're basically saying is…he's dead." TL said, earning a nod from D-Dude.

"What I'm noticing, though, is that this weapon is very short. You got a VERY short range with it." Lunatic noticed, "You have a VERY small target area with that thing."

At that point, Team Scorpion came in, X Prodigy holding up a small axe. "Small target area, eh? Such is not the case for Mathyas with this short axe."

_The short axe is almost the same size as the war hammer, but what damage can it do?_

"Mathyas used the short axe to a good advantage. It had a better range than that hammer and offered far more versatility." X Prodigy explained.

"Versatility?" TL asked, "Explain."

"Mathyas hooked weapons with this thing and could throw them like boomerangs." Charles said, "They're effective at about fifteen to twenty feet, and unlike that hammer, it can come in a sweeping motion."

X Prodigy took a deep breath, then took a short axe and threw it at a wooden target. The axe spun end-over-end, lodging the blade into the wooden surface. X took aim at a different target, then threw the axe, this time lodging the sharp point on the end into the wood.

The hollow raised his hands in victory, then gave an assuring hand signal to Charles. "Nailed 'em."

"Yeah, but that's a real good strategy." Quill stated, "Throw away your weapon. I hope you are good with it because once you throw it away, you're not getting it back."

"Mathyas won't throw all his axes." Charles stated, "He's saving his last one to take your Scottish head off."

"So, those axes were thrown at close to thirty miles per hour." TL said, looking at the speed gun he used to measure the speed, "But how good of a close-quarter weapon is it?"

"Excellent." X answered, "I'll either take his head off or put a hole in it."

_To test the effectiveness of the short axe as a close-range weapon, X takes aim at two gel heads._

X readied his axe, until D-Dude gave him the word.

"GO!"

With a war cry, X brought the blade side of the axe across one gel head. The skull was instantly smashed with blood stand-in splattering the floor. He took aim with the spike end, then smashed it into the second skull's side. The spike dug deep into the skull, puncturing clean into the braincase.

"It does NOT take a genius to see what happened here." D-Dude said, "Once you see brain matter, you're DEAD."

_Now that both the war hammer and the short axe have been tested, which one gets the edge?_

"I'm giving it ALL to the short axe." Lunatic stated, "It has a far more effective swing range than the hammer and it can be used as a throwing weapon. In terms of versatility, the axe wins."

_It's unanimous; the Scorpion King's short axe gets the edge in close-range weapons._

--

_William Wallace is on the ropes with the Scorpion King's versatile weaponry, but what about special weapons?_

_William Wallace brought a nasty two-weapon combo to battle…one that provided both offense and defense._

"This little combo is the thing that'll bring the Scorpion King's reign to an all-too-abrupt end." Ross said, holding up a sturdy-looking shield in one hand and a dagger in the other. "The dirk and targe…"

_The Targe shield: an impressive defense with a ten-inch spike in the center made to bite the enemy._

Targe:  
Size: 21in  
Weight: 10lbs  
Substance: Wood, hide, iron

_Its deadly companion, the Dirk Dagger, is a wicked nine-inch blade made specially for the shield._

Dirk:  
Size: 9in  
Weight: 1lb  
Substance: Steel

Dimensiondude's catlike eyes widened in surprise as Ross brought in the targe. "Oh boy…just one look and I don't want that anywhere NEAR me…" he said.

"Your Scorpion King's weaponry isn't going to get through this." Ross said, patting the front of the shield with the dirk, "Unarmored king against armored rebel, it's no contest, really."

_Ross prepares to take the charge at his new gel victim…_

"Three! Two! One! GO!!"

With a roar, Ross charged, then slammed the targe into the torso's left side. The ten-inch spike drove itself through the torso all the way to the back. And to add even more damage, Ross took the dirk and jammed as deep into the torso's neck as he could. After a few tense seconds, Ross dislodged the shield, but left the dirk where he put it: the torso's neck.

"The damage you did with those two weapons is…phenomenal." D-Dude said, "There's a hole right through this guy's heart and it's going RIGHT OUT THE BACK."

"Whoa…" Lunatic said, putting a finger into the hole, "You're right…"

"And the dirk is still stuck in this guy…" TL said, taking the dagger out, "Looks like he severed the spinal chord. That's paralysis at its best…"

_The dirk and targe destroyed the target on both strikes, but Team Scorpion is hardly worried…_

"You wanna get up close and dirty with the Scorpion King?" Charles Roberts asked, "GREAT. Now we can use OUR down and dirty weapon: the kamas."

_Kamas: versatile mini-scythes that can hook weaponry…or dig into flesh._

Kamas:  
Size: 10in  
Weight: 1lb  
Substance: Steel blade, wood handle

Charles Roberts came in with a pair of kamas, then spun them in his hands. "I give you the Scorpion's best up-close-and-personal weapons." Charles said, "These kamas can hook weapons, or in this case, take down William Wallace."

"Look kinda small to me." Ross pointed out, "I guarantee you won't be able to use them against our claymore."

"You just watch and wait, pal." Charles said, "How 'bout I show you the sheer cutting power of these things?"

"On ONE condition." Quill challenged, "Use it on chain mail and you'll stand a chance."

_To test the killing power of the kamas, Charles takes aim at a gel torso covered in chain mail. Can it penetrate?_

"Ready, Chuck?" TL asked.

"Ready when you are…" the dragon warrior answered.

"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!!"

Charles gave a good grunt as he swung the kama at the torso's abdomen. The kama's blade actually went through the chain mail and pierced the torso. Taking a second kama, he hacked the torso in the shoulder, piercing that area as well.

"Whoa…You did it…" Lunatic said, impressed, "You pierced the chain mail."

Dimensiondude went over to the torso, then put a small measuring stick into the chain torso's wound. "Oh…you've definitely got this guy; barely missed the heart with that first strike. The second strike, however, you killed him. There's a special vein in the shoulder that is deadly if severed."

"YEAH!" Charles said, "He's DEAD."

_The kamas pierced the chain mail, but there are other factors to take in…_

"So, you pierced our chain mail." Ross said, "I'd like to see you do that same thing with the targe shield."

"Don't you worry, Ross." Said X prodigy, "We'll go around that shield and go straight to you."

"Like to see you try." Ross shot back.

_The Kamas and Dirk and Targe combo are both lethal, but which one gets the edge?_

"Targe vs. Kamas, it's a close one, but I have to look into all their factors." TL said, "The targe is both an offense and a defense. It'll protect William Wallace from most of the Scorpion King's weapons, so that's what gives it the edge."

_When it comes to special weapons, William Wallace takes the edge with the Dirk and Targe combo._

_--_

_The testing is complete. It is now time to see who is the deadliest warrior: William Wallace or the Scorpion King._

"When it comes to determined warriors, William Wallace is the best there is." Quill boasted.

"If you're gonna start something with Mathyas, he won't back down until you're a bloody pulp." Charles also boasted.

_We tested the weapons used by William Wallace himself: the Claymore, Ball and Chain, War Hammer, and the Dirk and Targe combo._

_We also tested the Scorpion King's signature weaponry: the Scimitar, Surujin, Short Axe, and Kamas._

_In mid-range combat, the Scottish claymore was pitted against the Akkadian scimitar._

"The scimitar is fast, there's no doubt about that." D-Dude stated, "But the claymore did something TRULY jaw-dropping: it lopped off three heads. Edge to the claymore."

Edge: William Wallace

_In long-range weapons, the ball and chain went up against the surujin._

"I was so interested in the ball and chain, but after seeing it, I was NOT impressed with it." TL said, "The surujin can hit from a further distance and with more accuracy. That means that, as these guys get closer to one another, we'll see hits from the surujin LONG before we see hits from the ball and chain."

Edge: Scorpion King

_In close-range weapons, William Wallace's war hammer went up against the Scorpion King's short axe._

"The short axe has a better range of motion than the war hammer." Lunatic informed, "It provides plenty of recovery time and can be used as a throwing weapon. Edge to the short axe."

Edge: Scorpion King

_Finally, in Special Weapons, William Wallace's dirk and targe duo went up against the Scorpion King's kamas._

"The kamas impressed me with the fact that they could get through chain mail." TL said, "But the dirk and targe put something into someone that exited out their back. The targe also offers protection, so offense against offense/defense, I'd take the one that packs two punches."

Edge: William Wallace

_With the test data complete, Lunatic transfers the data into a simulation program developed by Slytherine Studios to create duel to the death._

_To prevent victory coming from a lucky shot, Lunatic sets the battle a thousand times over._

"This will be an interesting fight: a head-on soldier with no mercy against a skilled assassin with just as much mercy." Lunatic said, "Who is the deadliest warrior?"

_It will be a battle of opposites…_

_Brute Force…_

(William Wallace runs a British soldier through with a targe's spike)

_vs. Mind-numbing Skill_

(The Scorpion King cuts one warrior down, then slashes down another.)

_Heavy weaponry…_

(William Wallace hacks a man with the claymore)

_vs. Swift Kill_

(Mathyas throws a short axe at a man, then impales one on his kama.)

_Anti-Empire…_

(William Wallace and his Scotsmen charge a few English soldiers.)

_vs. Manifest Destiny_

(Mathyas leads an army against the people of Thebes)

Lunatic pressed the "enter" king on the keyboard and the fight began.

--the fight--

William Wallace roamed the mountainous regions of North Africa, a ball and chain slung over his shoulder, a sheathed sword on his back, and a hammer on his belt. He also had a targe on his free, left, hand.

Not far away, a large man was approaching at a run. It was the Scorpion King, wearing a belt that had several weapons on it. A kama, a short axe, a surujin, and a scimitar were just a few of them.

Wallace spotted the Scorpion King, then took the ball and chain and spun it. Once at a good speed, he lobbed it at Mathyas. The Scorpion King rolled right under the ball, then took the surujin from his belt, spun it over his head, and lobbed it at the Scottish Rebel.

Wallace quickly raised his targe and the surujin only hit the surface, bouncing off completely. Taking the war hammer, Wallace braced himself as the Scorpion King took out his kama and short axe.

The two warriors clashed as Mathyas swung his short axe only to hit the targe's surface. Wallace countered with a swing to the war hammer only for Mathyas to block with the kama. Wallace swung again only to miss by a mile.

The Scorpion King took a swing with the kama only to meet the targe again. William Wallace took a swing with the war hammer's pike end and grazed Mathyas' leg with it. William Wallace swung again only to see Mathyas duck under it and kick him in the chest.

William Wallace stumbled back and took another swing with the war hammer, but like last time, the Scorpion King parried with his short axe and maneuvered it out of the Scot's hand. He took that time to take his kama and hack William Wallace in the chest. The kama dug deep, but didn't cause too serious of damage. William Wallace retaliated, taking out the dirk dagger and catching the Akkadian warrior across the arm with it.

Mathyas roared in pain, then sprang backward to avoid further injury. Taking a chance, he took the short axe and threw it at William Wallace. The axe whistled through the air, hitting the targe's side and lodging itself into the wood. But the axe was not used as an attack, rather more of a distraction.

In the short time that William Wallace peeked out behind his shield, the Scorpion King took a swing with his kama and hooked the dirk with it. William Wallace almost readied his shield when the Scorpion King used his arm to block the Scot's own. Both pushed against each other, testing their strength. Both were of similar size and stature: six feet or higher and heavily-muscled.

William Wallace pushed again, then raised a boot and kicked Mathyas away, disarming both the dirk and the kama. Not wanting to risk getting either weapon back, Mathyas drew out his scimitar with a sharp, grating sound. At the same time, William Wallace slowly drew out his four-and-a-half-foot blade: the claymore.

Now it was personal…

Both Scorpion King and William Wallace circled each other, blades at the ready. Wallace had NOT discarded the targe shield while the Scorpion King's only protection was his reflexes and skill.

Mathyas made the first move, swinging his scimitar only to meet Wallace's targe with a sharp "thud". William Wallace countered with a swing from the claymore. When the Scorpion King met it with his blade, he almost lost his balance. The blade was WAY too heavy to try that again.

William Wallace swung the massive blade again and the Scorpion King, rather than parry, evaded it. He swung the scimitar while Wallace was recuperating from his previous swing and hit the Scotsman in the chest. The sword tore right through the cloth that Wallace was wearing, but didn't cut the chain mail underneath.

William Wallace soon became a whirlwind of destruction as he swung the claymore time and time again. Mathyas jumped over a sweep stroke from Wallace to catch himself on his hands and land on his back. William Wallace noticed the vulnerable Akkadian, then swung to chop him in half. The Scorpion King swiftly raised his blade and blocked the chop, albeit with difficulty.

The Scorpion King pushed the claymore away, then rolled to his feet and slashed at Wallace's arm, almost hitting flesh, but hitting chain mail nonetheless. Mathyas backed away a little and William Wallace moved towards him. Mathyas swung with his scimitar again only to meet the claymore. Acting fast, the Scorpion King quickly swung again and hit the targe once more. William Wallace countered with a strike that narrowly missed the Akkadian.

Mathyas actually felt the wind of the blade pass over his chest…

The Scorpion King swung his scimitar at William Wallace only to meet the claymore. Both pushed against each other, then Wallace took a step back and the Scorpion King made a move. He took the scimitar and swung only to hit the targe shield.

In the next second, William Wallace hacked with the claymore…taking off the Scorpion King's arm. As the Scorpion King roared in agony, William Wallace brought the claymore across the Akkadian's torso.

The Scorpion King fell to the ground, defeated and dying. Emerging victorious, William Wallace unleashed a roar to the heavens, his weapon and body stained with the blood of Mathyas.

--

Winner: William Wallace

"William Wallace won because he had better armor, heavier weapons designed to wipe out as many people as he could, and the targe shield was a good defense and offense against the light weaponry and soft Scorpion King." Lunatic explained, "It's a crushing defeat for the Scorpion King and a landslide victory for William Wallace."

_William Wallace's claymore and dirk/targe combo were easily his deadliest weapons…_

William Wallace kills…  
Claymore: 312  
Ball and Chain: 1  
War Hammer: 65  
Dirk/Targe Combo: 260  
Total Kills: 638

_The Scorpion King only got 362 kills, his scimitar being his deadliest weapon._

Scorpion King kills…  
Scimitar: 300  
Surujin: 3  
Short Axe: 25  
Kamas: 34  
Total Kills: 362

"William Wallace had weapons the Scorpion King could NOT stop." TL stated, "When it comes to armor and pure power, William Wallace took this match hands-down."

"I thought William Wallace would have a little trouble," D-Dude admitted, "But after seeing his weapons in action, I just knew he would win."

"I feel we may have relied a little TOO heavily on speed." X admitted, shaking his head.

"This is a fact that William Wallace was, without a doubt, the deadliest warrior." Quill stated.

(William Wallace roars to the heavens, a dead Scorpion King at his feet.)

_With apologies to Scorpion King fans…and Dwayne Johnson (the Rock)._


	4. Imhotep vs The Dragon Emperor

**The Dragon Emperor  
**(An Asian man in black leather armor and a helmet stood with a sword in one hand and a bow in the other)

The ruthless ruler of Ancient China who conquered his enemies in one fell swoop.

(The Dragon Emperor slays a man with a sword, then kicks another enemy before gutting him.)

**Imhotep  
**(A bald, Egyptian man clad in ancient priest garbs stood with an axe in one hand and a curved spear in the other)

The Egyptian priest who brought the life of Seti I to a sudden end.

(Imhotep runs a pharaoh through with a sword, then pulls it out and stabs him again and again.)

_WHO IS DEADLIEST?_

_To find out, our world-class fighters are testing fiction's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first-century science, we find out what would happen when the two warriors go toe-to-toe._

_No rules, no safety, no mercy: It's a duel to the death to decide who is…_

_**The Deadliest Warrior**_

The fight club was in its all-too-usual state. Scientists studying force, doctors making sure ballistics gel torsos are ready, and martial artists sparring against each other. One kid, though, was readying a computer program.

_In our fight club, two deadly warriors are readying for a battle to the finish. To decide who'll win, we've assembled scientists, doctors, and combat experts. It's all to decide which force from beyond the grave was deadliest in life…_

_Emperor Han, otherwise known as the Dragon Emperor: the cunning king from China bent on crushing freedom._

_Vs. Imhotep: the Egyptian Priest who committed a crime so low that he ceased to be human in the eyes of the Medjai._

**Dragon Emperor…  
****Time: 85BC-45BC  
****Land: China  
****Gear: 35lbs  
****Armor: Leather and Plate**

**Imhotep…  
****Time: 1120BC-1090BC  
****Land: Egypt  
****Gear: 25lbs  
****Armor: Gold**

A white hedgehog with cowboy boots, a golden mane, and unmatching gloves walked in.

_Biomedical engineer and media expert, **TLSoulDude**, will test to see how much damage the two undead forces can inflict on the other._

"I'll tell you how fast these guys are moving." TL informed, "If they kill you, I'll know. If they knock you flat-out on your back, I'll tell you."

_Biologist and historian, __**Dimensiondude**__, will gauge the deadly efficiency of each weapon._

"In this matchup, we've got all kinds of bladed weapons: swords, spears, knives…blood's gonna spill a LOT today." D-Dude said, very interested in the match (as he was a big fan of the Mummy series).

A short, redheaded, spiky-haired guy came in and typed a few things into a computer to make sure it was ready to go.

_Computer wiz, **Lunatic 121**, will take the test results and download it into a computer made to simulate fight scenes._

"Neither of these guys have met in history or in the Mummy series altogether." Lunatic pointed out, "We're gonna rewrite history in this computer…"

_The computer will take the test data from the two warriors' weapons and create a blow-by-blow fight to the finish between Imhotep and the Dragon Emperor._

_--_

_In one corner, people are rooting for the Egyptian priest to bring the Emperor off his high horse._

A young man in white garbs and green eyes peeking out from a shroud. He was wielding a pendulum staff with incredible skill.

_Historian and Egyptologist, **Snake Screamer, **leads the charge for Imhotep. Snake knows Egyptian history, burial, and warfare._

"Imhotep's gonna destroy this wannabe." Snake boasted, "He has better armor, deadlier weapons, and is no stranger to combat like most people say he is."

Another man, this one with a green muscle shirt, tan cargo pants, and an axe in hand took a hack at a training dummy.

_**Angelic Soldier **has trained in war countless times. The Egyptians played a huge role in the Bible and as such, he knows their ways of combat._

"Why do you think Imhotep was treated as a 'creature' instead of a person?" Angelic Soldier asked, "He was DANGEROUS to all those around him. That's why he suffered the most horrific burial."

_Imhotep was priest to the high pharaoh, Seti the First. For most of the pharaoh's reign, he stayed in the shadows. But then he fell in love with the Pharaoh's fiancée. Killing him to have her, he was accursed to the be mummified alive, the most horrific death imaginable to Egyptians._

"You kill the king, you've got a problem on your hands." Snake pointed out, "You've got a big, freakin' problem."

_Our Imhotep experts are confident their Egyptian warrior will bury the opposition…but so do those rooting for the Dragon Emperor._

A young woman with three scars down her face and brown hair took a staff in hand and wielded it as though she was a Shaolin Monk.

_**MistressofDawn **is trained in Chinese martial arts used by the Dragon Emperor himself. She'll be wielding most of the weapons that brought the emperor to power._

"Everyone thinks that this Imhotep guy is the best. But the Dragon Emperor brings sheer skill to the fight." Dawn pointed out, "Skill is everything to a warrior, and the emperor's got tons of it."

A young, black-haired man in blue clothes threw a few punches at a punching bag, then took a sword in his hand.

_Martial Artist, **Darren Wong**, will demonstrate the capabilities of the Dragon Emperor's signature weapons._

"You have a skilled assassin warrior…" Darren said, "And you've got a skilled WAR warrior. It's pretty much no contest, I'll tell you that."

_The Dragon Emperor was the most successful of all the men fighting for land in China. In a surprise attack, the Emperor slaughtered his enemies and had them build his great wall. When dead or useless, he had them buried beneath it. His reign only ended when a witch sealed him away in a death-like trance._

"This guy was as dangerous in life as he was when he was resurrected." Darren said, "How many people can do what he did? All-out assault, building an empire, and getting anything he wanted. This guy means business."

_So, if these two "Mummy" stars fought, who would emerge victorious?_

"The Dragon Emperor will turn Imhotep into a pile of ash like the Egyptians should have." Darren stated, "He's got superior skill and he's a REAL king of war. Imhotep was a coward in battle."

"Imhotep's gonna take this guy down." Snake countered, "He'll do what he has done to anyone else who stood against them: turn him into a shriveled corpse."

--

_For getting up close and personal, Imhotep wielded a traditional weapon of the Egyptian soldier…_

(Snake Screamer took a curved-looking cross between a sword and a scythe, then swung it a few times.)

_The Arit Sickle: a curved, sword-like blade that could take off heads and gut enemies._

Arit Sickle…  
Size: 3ft  
Weight: 2.4lbs  
Substance: Iron

"A sickle, eh?" TL said, feeling the solidity of the blade, "This thing is going to do some REAL damage…"

"This was originally a farmer's tool." Snake explained, "But the Egyptian soldiers adapted it from cutting wheat and grass to carving human flesh."

"I also notice that it's sharp on both the curve of the blade and the inside of the curve." Lunatic said, running a finger down the curve.

"Exactly." Snake said with a nod, "If I don't hit you with the outward curve, I'll swing at you again and take your head off."

"Let's put that to the test, then…" TL said as the group walked off to see what this thing could do.

_To test the lethality of the Arit, the team has set up a realistic target…_

A smile spread across Snake Screamer's face as he saw a pig carcass set up for the sole purpose of testing the weapon. "Alright…live prey."

"Pig tissue is VERY similar to humans', so the damage inflicted on this pig will be VERY close to what the sickle will do to a human." D-Dude explained.

"So, Snake, what'll you be doing to this pig?" TL asked.

"I'll start off with a cut from the outer curve, then follow up with a cut from the inner curve." Snake answered.

Snake got in position, then took a deep breath. He was gonna gut this pig…

"GO!"

With a cry, Snake used the outer curve of the arit to put a giant gash in the pig's side. With another one, he turned it around and the inner curve of it cut the pig clean in half…right between the ribcage and the hip.

"The damage to this pig is phenomenal…" D-Dude said, inspecting the damage, "The first strike would have cut through several vital organs and muscle tissue. The second one…that'll take anything off."

"To drive home my point, how 'bout we take aim at a target that hasn't been gutted?" Angelic Soldier asked.

"Bring it on…" TL challenged.

_To test the effectiveness of the arit, Snake takes aim at a more human target: a ballistics gel torso…_

"GO!"

With a roar, Snake Screamer took a swing at the gel torso's midsection with the outer curve of the arit. The gash created from the slash. He twirled around, then used the inner curve of the arit and took aim at the torso's head. One cut almost cut the head off…the second one did.

"Well, you said you'd deliver the goods, and you have." Loony said, impressed, as he picked up the severed head.

"What's amazing is that, you gutted this guy before beheading him." D-Dude said, almost excitedly, "So as he's screaming and watching his intestines spill out, you killed him with your next blow."

"So, his opponent would be the last thing he ever sees." TL said, putting the pieces together.

_The arit sickle is impressive…but our Dragon Emperor experts are NOT impressed._

"So, you're aiming at a small, immobile target. So what?" Dawn asked, "The emperor is an accomplished martial artist, he'll beat you before you even swing that."

"Yeah, well, he can't move if his head's off. I guarantee you that." Snake pointed out.

--

"A skilled warrior is the best warrior." Dawn explained, "But so is an adaptable one, one who wields these wind and fire wheels." She emphasized her point by holding up a pair of metal rings that had blade-like protrusions sticking out of different places.

_Wind and Fire Wheels: A pair of metal rings with a deadly, cutting edge for versatility._

Wind and Fire Wheels…  
Size: 26in diameter  
Weight: 3lbs  
Substance: Steel

--

Dawn and Darren were exchanging blows, Dawn wielding the wind and fire wheels. Yet, even as she sparred, she explained the use of the wheels. Darren was using a wooden sword to simulate an attacking enemy.

"The wheels, in handheld combat, are used as close-combat weapons." Dawn explained, "They're also multifunctional. I can block…" She blocked a downward strike from Darren. "I can strike…" She spun to take a swing at Darren, who sidestepped, "And my personal favorite: disarm."

Darren swung down with the wooden sword, but Dawn blocked before using the second one to pin the sword between the two wheels. She then drew one of the wheels down the full length of the sword and Darren let go to avoid losing a hand.

"These are EXTREMELY versatile weapons." Dawn said, holding up the wheels.

"OK, from the look of those wheels, they look dangerous…" Lunatic said, inspecting one, "But I'd like to see how lethal these things are as weapons."

"Fine by me." Dawn said, accepting the challenge.

_To test the lethality and fluency of the wind and fire wheels, Dawn will use them on a foam torso…_

"Ready, Dawn?" TL called.

"I'm ready…" Dawn said, holding one wheel in each hand.

"Three! Two! One! GO!"

Dawn spun like a dancer, then brought both wheels slashing across the foam torso, leaving deep gashes from the blade-like outgrowths. But she didn't stop there: she turned to spin the other way and created two more gashes across the dummy's chest. She curved slightly to bring an uppercut-slash across the dummy's face, then spun and planted two more downward strikes from the wheels. Finally, she finished by taking the rings and thrusting one of the outgrowths into the dummy. She let go and the rings remained lodged into the torso.

"Wow…" D-Dude said, going over to the torso, "You've completely tenderized this guy. These slashes ripped open the chest and abdomen…" Dimensiondude gestured to the gashes. "And these stabs would have gone right under the ribs, ripping through several organs: liver, lung, stomach…"

"You said it was a versatile weapon, and you've gone and proven it." TL said, impressed.

"And that's not all the wind and fire wheels are good for." Dawn pointed out, "They can also be thrown as a distance weapon."

"I'd like to see that." TL said.

"Thought you'd never ask." Dawn said with a smile.

_To test the wind and fire wheels' ability as a distance weapon, TL sets up glass balls in front of a fresh torso._

"Alright, these balls are filled with liquid." TL said, poking one of the balls strung from the ceiling, "If you can break these things AND hit the torso at the same time, I'll be impressed."

"Don't worry. I'll get 'em." Dawn assured him.

Dawn got into position, holding both rings in one hand like a Frisbee. On receiving the word, she took one in her right hand and threw it. The ring went right through both splatter-balls, littering the ground with glass and red liquid, then hit the torso. Acting fast, she took the other wheel and tossed it, hitting just below the first wheel.

Dawn raised her arms in a "ta-da" sort of way.

_The wind and fire wheels are effective, but were they deadly?_

"You do NOT have to be a medical school graduate to see how painful this would be." D-Dude said, gripping one of the wheels, "This thing would be lodged, firmly into the left rib and either get close to, or possibly even pierce, the heart."

"So, this is a kill shot?" Wong asked.

"This is a kill." D-Dude confirmed with a nod.

_Now that both Arit and Wheels have been tested, which Special Weapon gets the edge?_

"The arit was effective, as it has two cutting edges instead of one." TL admitted, "But the edge goes to the wind and fire wheels. They are SUCH versatile weapons and can even be thrown as a distance weapon. The arit isn't so fortunate."

"I completely agree with you. Wheels all the way." Lunatic confirmed.

_It's unanimous: the wind and fire wheels give the edge to the Dragon Emperor._

_--_

_Both Dragon Emperor and Imhotep have come back from the dead and returned to it just as quickly._

"Imhotep was mummified, but some curse kept him alive and completely inhuman." Soldier informed, "When he returned to power, people died, plagues came around, and the dead came to move again."

"The Dragon Emperor was cursed and sealed inside the earth after an attempt to achieve immortality." Darren filled in, "When he came around, no one was going to stop him unless they had an enchanted dagger. If you didn't have that, you'd be DEAD."

"You wanna get up close and personal with Imhotep?" Soldier asked, "Fine. We'll do you in with a pair of these…" The angel held up a pair of golden sais.

_The sai: a pair of three-pronged stabbing spikes, capable of disarming and assault._

Sai…  
Size: 18in  
Weight: 1lb  
Substance: Gold

"These are the sais." Angelic Soldier said, "These are very flexible weapons that I can hold like this…" Angelic Soldier held them so that the middle spike faced backward. "I'll hook a weapon with the outer prong, then bunt them with the handle of the second one. Or I can do it the other way..." He held them so that the spikes faced forward, "Then I can block the weapon and bite them with the spike."

Lunatic took a step back, not wanting to get too close. "Those look VERY sharp…" he said, keeping a bit of distance.

"They're primarily piercing weapons." Soldier explained, "They're not sharp, but they ARE resourceful weapons and can help even the odds against an enemy."

"So, how good of attacking weapons are these?" TL asked.

"I believe a demonstration is needed in order to answer that…" Soldier answered.

_To measure the force and efficiency of the sai, TL sets up a foam torso rigged with blood sacs._

"So, we have here a target for you." TL explained, showing Soldier the torso, "You're gonna jab this thing and we'll be able to tell if you've killed the guy or not…"

"Sounds like fun…" Soldier said, readying his sai.

After a bit of preparation, The Angelic Soldier stood just a few feet in front of the torso, ready for the attack.

"Ready, Soldier?" TL called.

"I'm ready…"

"Three! Two! One! GO!!!"

Soldier lunged forward with the sais, jamming them into the area just below the ribcage. Without a second's hesitation, he jammed the other one into the chest opposite the previous stab. Using the inertia's time, he pulled out the sai and jammed it into the stomach. After a few more pulls and jabs, Soldier stopped…he had put more holes in the torso than Swiss cheese.

_The sais tenderize the torso…but were all of them lethal?_

"Let's see here…" D-Dude said, looking over the damage, "This puncture wound went under the ribcage and would have pierced a lung. Some wounds have pierced organs, but I wouldn't say they were all lethal."

"Yeah, that looks like a VERY clumsy weapon the way you were jerking it around." Darren pointed out.

"I'm gonna have to disagree with you Emperor guys." Lunatic said, "This weapon works real well with his body and he did say it was a three-dimensional weapon. And he did prove that it could attack just as much as it could defend."

"Well, you can jab that guy as much as you want." Wong said, holding up a pair of small, but abnormally wide blades. "I got a pair of weapons that can do FAR more than that."

_The Butterfly Swords: a pair of lethal daggers made specially for close-quarter weapon._

Butterfly Sword…  
Size: 16.5in  
Weight: 1lb  
Substance: Steel

"Feast your eyes." Darren said, holding out a pair of knife-like swords, "These are the Chinese Butterfly Swords. They're small enough to be a blur to the naked eye, but strong enough to block a regular blade like a sword."

"Really?" TL said, looking the swords over, "I'd like to see proof of that…"

_To test the durability and reliability of the Butterfly Swords, TL takes blades into his own hand._

"This here's my UFO blade…" TL said, holding out his traditional sword, "It's of the same gauge-metal as your average sword, so if you're able to block this without bending, you'll be able to block any other sword."

Darren Wong and TL stood on opposite sides, then TL struck with the UFO blade. Raising the butterfly swords, Wong intercepted and showed no signs of wear. He then followed up with a strike, halting before he caught TL across the chest.

"Just as I told you." Darren said as he patted TL on the shoulder, "This'll hold up to your regular swords."

"That's one of two things I wanna know right now." TL pointed out, "Can you seriously damage someone with this?"

"Absolutely." Darren stated.

_To test the initial damage of the Butterfly Swords, Darren is given a more realistic target: a pig carcass._

Darren smirked as he spotted a pig carcass suspended by the ceiling. "I was hoping for gel torsos, but this works, too." The martial artist stated.

"We'll have you go hog-wild on this pig." Lunatic pointed out, "And whatever damage you do to this thing will be VERY similar to what you do to a human body."

"Let's get on with it, then…" Darren said, readying for attack.

"Three! Two! One! GO!"

Darren became a blur of fury with the short-yet-sturdy blades. Each attack cut clean into the target. With one thrust, he actually got into the ribs, and with one he lodged one deep into the back.

After an adrenaline-fueled attack on the pig carcass, Darren pulled back and let himself breathe. The pig was now no more than flesh-colored ribbons.

"So, is this pig goin' home?" Dawn asked from a safer distance.

Dimensiondude came in to inspect the pig, then shook his head. "Nah, he's dead. One jab got him right between the ribs and one went straight through the spinal column. That's paralysis at its best, I'll tell you that much."

_Despite the butterfly swords' deadly show, Team Imhotep is not swayed._

"Dead pigs don't move, you know." Snake pointed out, "And we've got weapons that'll block those and jab you at the same time."

"You put holes in that last guy." Dawn countered, "We gutted him."

"You can gut a defenseless pig any day, but you're not cutting through a gold-plate armor." Soldier countered.

"You're not armored on the chest." Darren shot back, "You're painting a target on you that reads 'gut me here'."

_Both butterfly swords and sais are prime weapons, but which one gets the edge?_

"Butterfly swords vs. Sai, it's a tough one, but I have to put in the purpose factors." Lunatic explained, "I'm giving it all to the sai out of sheer adaptability."

"I'm giving it to the butterfly swords." TL said, stating his opinion, "They'll literally unzip your gut while the sai give you a jab, but no more."

"Ah, comes down to me, doesn't it?" D-Dude asked, "I'll agree that the swords have cutting power, but the sai offer you FAR more options. Edge to the sai."

_The sai gives Imhotep the edge in close-quarter weapons._

_--_

_As Imhotep and the Dragon Emperor prep for a battle, tensions are on the rise._

"Imhotep is going to impale the dragon emperor." Soldier bragged, "That leather armor won't hold a candle to these solid-metal weapons."

"If Imhotep was so powerful, why did his followers only include a few undead priests and rogue bodyguards?" Dawn asked with a scoff, "The Dragon Emperor had his own personal army. It's checkmate right there."

"These Chinese guys have been bragging about their armor." Snake pointed out, "I'd like to see that leather cover hold up against this: the Golden Spear."

_The Golden Spear: a retractable rod of gold tipped with a sharp point capable of breaking armor and skewering a crocodile._

Golden Spear…  
Size: 6ft  
Weight: 4lbs  
Substance: Gold

"I humbly present to you the golden spear." Snake said, holding out a simple-looking gold rod.

"This is a spear?" TL asked, "Looks more like something I found at a museum…"

"That's 'cuz the spear retracts like a switchblade." Snake explained, "Observe."

Snake turned an ornament on the top of the rod and with a sharp, grating sound, a long point emerged from it. Snake spun it like a staff, then pointed the end at an invisible enemy.

"Ooh, stealth advantage." TL said, tapping the tip of the spear, "And sharp, too…"

"This was often carried by assassins posing as the royal guard to the pharaoh." Snake informed, "When the pharaoh was asleep, his guards would stand just at the door. Often these guards would be assassins in disguise and while the pharaoh slept, they'd take this spear and polish him off."

"So, what's the effective range of this spear?" D-Dude asked, examining the streamlined shape.

"The maximum is about sixty feet, but if you can throw it twenty to thirty feet, you're good." Snake answered.

A few seconds later, Snake had the golden spear in hand, wooden targets in front of him. He pulled the spear back, then heaved it at the target. The golden rod flew through the air and buried itself deep into the wood. It wasn't a bullseye, but every expert doubted that a person hit in the same place would NOT be getting back up after a hit like that.

Snake, after getting his spear back, took the same stance in the same place. With another heave, he threw the spear at another target, hitting it dead-on once again. He did it one more time with the last target, then raised his hands in victory.

"There we have it." Snake boasted, taking a small bow, "Dead emperor."

Going in to inspect the damage, TL was amazed at the target that the spear was still stuck in. The point was actually pointing out the other side of the target, which was well in excess of eight inches thick.

"Over nine inches of penetration…" TL said, measuring the spear, "If this hits a guy, he's down."

"Obviously." Angelic Soldier corrected.

_The golden spear is an impressive weapon, but Team Emperor is not impressed._

"Wooden targets don't move, you know." Dawn pointed out, "If you've got something coming at you like this…" Dawn suddenly went up to a target and proceeded to backhand it, chop it, and punch it very rapidly. "And doing that with swords, daggers, or blades, you won't have time to throw that."

"Great." Soldier argued, "Then we'll impale you with this spear."

"Like to see you try." Darren challenged.

--

"The Dragon Emperor did NOT believe in throwing your spear. A good polearm should NOT be thrown." Dawn pointed out, "If he wanted his enemies killed at a distance, he would do it with a good crossbow."

_The crossbow: the forerunner of guns everywhere, it can fire a bolt fast enough to break into armor._

Crossbow…  
Size: 2.4ft  
Weight: 9lbs  
Substance: Wood, bowstring, iron

"So, the answer to the golden spear is the crossbow." TL said as Darren showed them the distance weapon.

"This weapon will pierce armor, especially with the ammunition and the speed that ammo goes at." Darren explained, "It's effective at double the range of that golden spear, and it's unpredictable."

_To give the Dragon Emperor supporters a more realistic target, the team sets up a gel torso clad in an Egyptian chest plate._

"So, what bolt are you using on this guy?" Lunatic asked.

"Think I'll use the iron bolt for easier penetration." Darren answered, "It'll go right through that piece of gold…"

Darren pulled back the bowstring, locked it, and loaded an arrow. Holding it like a gun, he took careful aim…then fired.

The iron bolt whistled through the air faster than the human eye could register, it lodged itself into the gel torso's gut, penetrating the armor like nothing was there.

"Suck on that, Egyptian sissies." Darren said, holstering the crossbow.

_The crossbow pierced the armor, but what damage did it do underneath it._

Dimensiondude went over to the torso, removed the chestplate (with TL's help), and looked over the damage. He dislodged the bolt, then assessed the damage…

"Well, this has proven his point: Imhotep's golden-plate armor's not going to protect him from this thing." D-Dude informed, "That bolt was just an inch away from his heart and that was with armor on."

"And Egyptian armor doesn't cover everything on this guy." Dawn stated, "If this thing pierced armor, it'll go into an unarmored bald guy with no hassle."

"That is if Imhotep will let you." Snake corrected, "Can't throw something if you're impaled on something."

_Both crossbow and spear are deadly, but our experts are unanimous on which weapon gets the edge._

"Spear vs. Crossbow, I'm giving it ALL to the crossbow." TL stated, "It's more precise than the spear and it can hit from more than double the range of the spear."

"I agree with you one-hundred-percent." Lunatic said with a nod, "Edge to the Dragon Emperor."

_In long-range weapons, The Dragon Emperor takes the edge with the crossbow._

_Despite the odds, our Imhotep experts are convinced the ex-priest will take the match._

"Your Chinese would-be can keep his martial arts." Soldier pointed out, "If you make that ONE mistake, I guarantee you it will cost you your head. You'll have the honor of being killed a third time."

_For mid-range combat, Imhotep wielded a weapon as deadly as its name suggested…_

_The pendulum axe: a dual-sided staff that could cut in an arc pattern and create a circle of death that none dared to enter._

Pendulum Axe…  
Size: 6ft  
Weight: 4lbs  
Substance: Wood, Gold

Angelic Soldier stepped up, a long, staff-like weapon in his hand. On each end of the staff was a pendulum-shaped blade.

"Feast your eyes on this: the Pendulum Axe." Soldier said, planting one end of the axe on the ground.

"Y'know, from the looks of that thing, I wouldn't want to face anyone holding it." Lunatic said, backing away a little.

"Good thing, too. This is a dangerous weapon, whether I bring it at you in an upward strike or a downward one, I'll be cutting you with either end." Soldier said, then picked it up off the ground, "This weapon allows several options, such as thrusts, slashes, blocks, and sweeping motions." Soldier said, demonstrating one move each.

"Whoa, careful with that…" TL said, holding up his hands.

"Well, Soldier, I got something better for you to test that thing on." D-Dude offered.

"Good. Let's go get 'em, then…" Snake said as he and Angelic Soldier followed the dragonsaur.

"Now, why don't you vent your rage on this thing?" D-Dude suggested, pointing to a slab of meat hanging from a rope. "This is about three-hundred pounds of beef, so go crazy."

"A'ight then…" Soldier said, taking the pendulum axe in hand.

"Ready, Soldier?" TL called.

"I'm ready…" Angelic Soldier said, readying his polearm.

"Three…Two…One…GO!"

Soldier took a brief moment to spin the pendulum axe, then brought one end slashing across the beef. The blade was so sharp that it created a single large gash on the carcass. Another slash from the pendulum axe's other side created an "X" shape in the beef, but Soldier didn't stop there. He took a step back, then thrust one end into the beef, cleaving right through it like butter.

"WHOA!" TL said in surprise.

Angelic Soldier jerked the pendulum axe out, then swung it at the meat again, cutting deeper and deeper into it.

"Goes right through it like butter…" Soldier said, standing back and inspecting his work.

Dimensiondude went in, flabbergasted at what he saw. "Okay, you do NOT need to be a doctor to know what happened here. You've literally cut this cow in half with that weapon. And since it's so long, you could probably kill him before he even makes a move on you."

"Yeah, it's also complicated, too." Dawn noted, "If you hesitate even once with that thing, I guarantee that I'll take your head off."

"Talk all you want." Soldier bragged, "Your emperor's going down and he's gonna go down FAST and HARD."

"Not while we have the guan do halberd." Dawn said, holding one up for all to see.

_The Dragon Emperor also wields a wicked polearm…_

_The Guan Do Halberd: a six-foot rod terminating in a foot-long, razor-sharp blade._

Guan Do…  
Size: 6ft  
Weight: 4lbs  
Substance: Wood handle, Steel

"This was a weapon used by the monks to defend the temples. It can stab your opponent in the gut with no problem, swing it to cut off a sizeable piece, or you can turn it around to bunt your enemy with the end." Dawn said, holding out the polearm.

"That blade…" TL said, reaching up to touch it, "Whoa, that looks sharp…and from the way you move it, I'd say it's fast, too."

"Is that a challenge?" Dawn asked.

"I can make it that if you want." Lunatic suggested.

_To test the killing factor of the Guan Do, Dawn takes aim at a gel torso…_

"Wow, this sucker's just like Imhotep." Dawn said, patting the torso on the head, "Bald, easy target, and squishy."

"Hey, talk later, Dawn. Why don't you prepare to butcher this guy?"

"Gladly…"

Dawn took the Guan Do, then took a deep breath. With a war cry, she thrust with the halberd and landed a solid blow right between the dummy's ribs. Yanking it out, she swung it at the dummy's face, creating a fine cut down the head and shearing through the face. One final swing caught the dummy on the shoulder, sending a piece of it to the floor.

"I asked you to butcher him…and you did." D-Dude said, impressed. He inspected the wounds, then said, "That first jab broke a few ribs and punctured a lung…it almost exited out the back."

"Ouch…" Dawn said, wincing.

"And do I have to point out what you did to his arm?" TL asked, holding up the severed arm segment.

"No, no, no." Dawn said, shaking her head, "That's not necessary."

_So, which polearm will best the other?_

"Halberd vs. Pendulum Axe…it's a tough one, but I'll have to go with the pendulum axe." Lunatic said, "It has a wider cutting range than the halberd and went through a person with almost no resistance. Edge to the Pendulum Axe."

_The Dragon Emperor gets the edge in mid-range weapons._

--

_It is now time for the two Mummy Legends to face off and see once and for all who is the Deadliest Warrior._

_We tested four weapons used by the traitorous Imhotep: the Arit Sickle, Golden Spear, Sai, and Pendulum Axe._

_We also tested the arsenal of the ruthless Dragon Emperor: the Wind and Fire Wheels, Crossbow, Butterfly Sword, and Guan Do Halberd._

_In close-quarter combat, we pitted the Dragon Emperor's Butterfly Swords against Imhotep's Sais._

"The Butterfly Swords are quick and easy to use, but the sais offer you more options to block, strike, and pierce your enemy." Lunatic reasoned, "Edge to the Sais."

Edge: Imhotep

_In Special Weapons, the Arit Sickle faced off against the Wind and Fire Wheels._

"Due to sheer adaptability and their ability to be used as throwing weapons, I'm going Wind and Fire Wheels." D-Dude stated.

Edge: Dragon Emperor

_In Long-Range Weapons, the Dragon Emperor's Crossbow went up against Imhotep's Golden Spear._

"The Spear can definitely kill someone if it hits, but that being said, the Crossbow can hit from greater distance and with far more accuracy. Chances are, whoever gets THIS shot will win." TL said, holding up his hands as an example.

Edge: Dragon Emperor

_And in Mid-Range Weapons, The Emperor's Guan Do Halberd went up against Imhotep's Pendulum Axe._

"The Pendulum Axe has a far greater range of cutting and it has two ends, so that means he has more chances of gutting you. Edge goes to the Pendulum Axe."

Edge: Imhotep

_With the testing complete, it is time to see who is the deadliest warrior. Imhotep, or the Dragon Emperor?_

_Deception…_

(Imhotep sneaks up on a Royal Guard with an Arit, then takes his head off.)

_Vs. Skill…_

(The Dragon Emperor stops an assassin with the Butterfly Swords, then runs him through.)

_Metal…_

(Imhotep spins the spear, then impales a soldier with it.)

_Vs. Composite Materials…_

(The Dragon Emperor turns to fire a crossbow at an oncoming enemy.)

"Okay, Mummy fans, here we go…" Lunatic said, then pressed the "Enter" key.

--The Fight--

Inside an Ancient Ruin decorated with pillars and statues, the ruthless Dragon Emperor stood in the doorway. Leaning his guan do against a pillar, his sharp ears caught the noise of approaching footsteps and turned to the source.

At another doorway, possibly leading to a ceremonial chamber, there came the traitorous Imhotep. Caught by surprise at the sight of someone at the entryway of the ruin, he took something off his belt: a golden rod…just in case this guy was an attacker.

The Dragon Emperor gave Imhotep a cold look, then whipped a crossbow off his back, took aim, and fired. Imhotep, sensing trouble, quickly moved to the side and the crossbow's arrow ricocheted off the stone pillar.

Imhotep now realized that this guy was a threat and took immediate action. With a twist of the golden rod, it turned into a two-meter spear. Imhotep took aim, then tossed the spear like a javelin.

The Emperor sidestepped quickly, and the spear clattered on the ground, missing him by a mile. The Emperor turned to face Imhotep, who was looking around the room for something to use.

Imhotep spotted something on the wall, a pendulum axe, then removed it from its mount and spun it around like a staff. The Dragon Emperor went over to his halberd, took it in hand, then charged with a war cry.

Both met the other's polearm in sharp parries, but soon they began an exchange of blows. The Dragon Emperor thrust with the halberd only to meet Imhotep's sweeping motions of the pendulum axe. One time, the Dragon Emperor acted too slow and got a scar across his armor from a single sweep of the pendulum axe, then made a slash at Imhotep with his halberd. He missed, but only so narrowly that he shed blood from Imhotep's arm.

The Dragon Emperor pressed his attack, then made a downward swing with the blade of the halberd. This was only a deception move, though, as he bunted Imhotep with the other end.

Imhotep, with a roar of his own, swung down with one end of the pendulum axe. As the Dragon Emperor raised to defend, Imhotep swung the other end up and jerked the halberd out of the emperor's hand.

Acting swiftly and decisively, the Dragon Emperor took a pair of Wind and Fire wheels off his back and blocked a downward swing from the Egyptian Priest. He used the other ring to catch the blade and sharply brought it down the weapon's length. Imhotep let go, narrowly avoiding the loss of his fingers, then took a weapon off his belt: an Arit sickle.

The two clashed steel in a swift flurry of movements, the Dragon Emperor's more agile and swift, Imhotep's sturdy and steadfast. It was obvious that the Egyptian priest would not fall for the Wind and Fire Wheels trick again, as he would quickly draw back the sickle before the Emperor could try to catch it again. Imhotep parried one attack from the wheels and ducked under the other, while the Dragon Emperor backed away from one strike of the Arit and corkscrew-spun away from another.

Imhotep took a little distance from the Emperor, and he followed him down a hallway. With one move, he threw one of his wheels like a discus at Imhotep. It missed, however, clattering off the walls in the process.

The hallway came to an end to reveal some kind of burial chamber, and Imhotep realized there and then that he was trapped. There was no way out except to kill the Emperor.

Imhotep dodged the second wheel, then swung at the Emperor only to meet a foot in his chest. Imhotep staggered back, dropping his Arit sickle. He dared not try to get it back, as the ruthless ruler was right in his way.

Instead, Imhotep reached over to a statue and pulled out the sais in its hands. He gave his enemy a challenging hiss, and the Dragon Emperor did the same thing, pulling out a pair of Butterfly Swords.

The Dragon Emperor made the first move, thrusting with one of his swords, only to meet one of Imhotep's sais. Imhotep countered by bunting the emperor across the face with the handle. The Emperor staggered back, but countered a thrust from Imhotep's sai, maneuvered it away, and kicked him in the face.

Imhotep stumbled back into a statue, but raised a foot to block an oncoming Emperor. The two clashed again, but this time, the Emperor got a cut on Imhotep's chest. That golden plate failed to protect Imhotep's important areas.

Imhotep grunted in pain, but blocked a swing from both swords and pushed against his enemy. He pushed back, then gave the Dragon Emperor a good jab with his sais. The wound was not fatal, but it certainly left a mark in the emperor, even with his armor.

The Emperor got in close, then planted his knee into Imhotep's gut. The priest lurched forward, but then thrust with his sai.

It was his last move, because the Emperor sidestepped and sharply brought a butterfly sword across the priest's arm. Imhotep roared in pain and crumpled, the Dragon Emperor towering over him.

The Emperor, satisfied with his work, turned and walked away. And Imhotep, noting his enemy's back was turned to him, got up and tried to sneak up on him. He had just raised his sai when the Emperor turned, butterfly sword in hand, and jammed it deep into the Egyptian's gut.

Imhotep gagged on his own blood, the red substance splattering all over the tomb's floor. He then fell to the ground, bloodied and beaten, the Dragon Emperor standing over him victoriously.

--

Winner: Dragon Emperor

"The Dragon Emperor emerged victorious because of his better armor, better skill, and more reliable weaponry." Lunatic explained, "I ran the program and he won fifty-three point-4 percent of the time."

_Out of a thousand battles, the Dragon Emperor won 534 battles, his deadliest weapons being the crossbow and wind and fire wheels._

Dragon Emperor kills…  
Wind and Fire Wheels: 183  
Guan Do: 95  
Crossbow: 200  
Butterfly Swords: 56  
All-in-All kills: 534

_Imhotep only won 466 times. His deadliest weapon was the pendulum axe, but it wasn't enough to save him._

Imhotep kills…  
Arit: 129  
Pendulum Axe: 143  
Golden Spear: 102  
Sais: 92  
All-in-All kills: 466

"Imhotep's style is primarily to catch his enemies by surprise." D-Dude stated, "But it's virtually impossible to surprise the Dragon Emperor. That's what won the day."

"Emperor takes this match because the Chinese skills are far more efficient than the Egyptians'." TL explained, "Skills win."

"Of course Imhotep would run away, but then he'd kill the emperor in his sleep." Soldier argued.

"Of course the better man won." Dawn said, proudly, "There's no shame in losing to the most powerful king in China."

(The Dragon Emperor stood before an army as they cheered for their leader.)


	5. Blue Marine vs ANBU

**Blue Marines**

(A man in a white coat and hat pointed a rifle at the screen)

Dedicated enforcers of the sea and destroyers of all who bear the pirate symbol.

(Several Blue Marines launch an attack on pirates and the plunderers fall under their bullets, bombs, and swords.)

**ANBU**

(A man in a white mask and a ninja getup wields his sword in a complex martial art)

Konoha's silent elite taught to show no emotion, no fear, and no mercy.

(A small ANBU cell engages a rogue shinobi before leading him into a trap.)

_WHO IS DEADLIEST?_

_To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first-century science, we find out what would happen when the two go toe-to-toe._

_No rules, no safety, no mercy: It's a duel to the death to decide who is…_

_**The Deadliest Warrior**_

The club was riling with busybodies as two men practiced ninjitsu on each other while two other people swapped attacks with swords.

_The Fight Club: a remote place in California where we've assembled doctors, scientists, and combat experts. They are here to decide who would win a battle between two elite forces of the Anime World._

_ANBU: The Leaf Village's elite ninja sent only on the most life-threatening missions._

_VS…_

_Blue Marines: Merciless enforcers of the Blue Sea and bane of all pirates._

**ANBU:  
Height: 6'  
Weight: 156lbs  
Gear: 15lbs  
Armor: Armor vest  
Loyalties: Konoha**

**--**

**Blue Marines:  
Height: 6'1"  
Weight: 162lbs  
Gear: 23lbs  
Armor: None  
Loyalties: World Government**

A white hedgehog with cowboy boots, a golden mane, and unmatching gloves walked in.

_Biomedical engineer and media expert, __**TLSoulDude**__, will test to see how much damage the weapons used will cause._

"This fight will be so cool because both teams are the top of their game in their respective worlds." TL explained, "I can't wait to see what happens."

A man with a buzz-cut, black shirt and camo pants inspected a pig carcass that had fallen victim to some deadly weapon.

_Weapons expert and biologist, __**Sgt. Marcus Reynol**__, will show the damage that the weapons in use will inflict._

"This guys disoriented…" he said, pointing at a dummy, "And y'know what? This guy's toast."

A red-haired ninja typed a few things on the computer, then put a finger on his chin.

_Computer wiz, __**Lunatic 121**__, will gather test data from each test and combat performance. The data will be put into a computer made to simulate fight scenes to determine the winner._

"I had to adjust this fight since neither Blue Marines nor ANBU operates alone and are each packing some kind of explosive weapon." Lunatic explained.

_Since both Blue Marines and ANBU work in small cells, this fight will be five-on-five. Five ANBU agents against five Blue Marine foot soldiers to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior._

_Our Blue Marines feel that the battle will ultimately turn in the favor of the seafarers…_

A man with gray hair and a rugged look took a long puff from a cigar before exhaling the smoke from his lungs.

_**Commodore Smoker**__ is a dedicated member of the Marines who devoted most of his time trying to bring in the all-too-familiar Straw Hat Luffy._

"The ANBU?" Smoker asked, "They're not so tough. I mean, we Marines have dealt with stuff they couldn't handle in their life. If they couldn't take us out, c'mon, how could the ANBU?"

A woman with pink hair and a red uniform checked to make sure a pistol of sorts was clean and working properly.

_**Captain Hina **__is a longtime friend of Smoker and known by a nickname of Black Cage. She is also a hardcore Marine and is also after the head of Straw Hat Luffy._

"ANBU…they're good and Hina is sure they're well trained." Hina said, then shook it off, "But we're not assassins, not trained to run and hide. We're trained to stand and fight, so we'll bring the fight to them."

_Under the command of the World Government, the Marines' main job was to either catch criminals or execute them. Founded more than a hundred years ago in One Piece's time, the Blue Marines' worst enemy is any pirate or anyone going against the World Government._

_Our Blue Marine experts are confident, but so are the supporters of the shadowy ANBU…_

A man with silver hair, a headband over his left eye, and a mouth cover took aim at a wooden target and threw something.

_**Kakashi Hatake **__knows the ANBU inside and out. Kakashi worked for the ANBU and learned the tricks and trade that bought them recognition amongst Konoha's citizens._

"The Blue Marines can't compare to the ANBU." Kakashi stated, calmly and collectively, "I'm sure they're tough stuff, but when it comes to killing, none is greater than Konoha's elite. They'll be dead five times before they hit the ground."

Another man with a metal band across the top and sides of his face inspected a sword, checking its quality.

_A home-grown ANBU agent, __**Captain Yamato**__, will provide information on the weapons that ANBU uses to bring them to victory. Yamato is well-trained in the information-gathering and stealth that the ANBU utilized._

"To be in the ANBU, you have to be strong of heart, quick of mind, and swift of body." Yamato explained, "If you aren't any of this, you're DONE, just like these Blue Marines."

_ANBU is a set of Konohagakure's elite shinobi and kunoichi. Those entering their organization are put through rigorous training, taught the vital areas of a human body for easier fatal strikes. The masks they wear are symbols of their faceless nature._

_The ANBU's primary weapon is one they carry with them at all times._

Yamato reached behind him, then pulled a sword from its sheath and chopped down an invisible enemy.

_The Katana: Thirty inches of folded steel crafted into a perfect cutting weapon._

Katana:

Length: 37in

Weight: 6lbs

Material: Folded Steel

"The katana is the traditional weapon of the ANBU." Kakashi said, holding said sword up, "This diamond-hard edge is turned razor-sharp and into the ultimate cutting weapon."

_To test the cutting power of the katana, Kakashi is given three targets: rolled mats with the same density as a human limb._

Sgt. Reynol felt each mat and nodded. "Yup, I'd say this is the basic equivalent of a human limb." He said, feeling how thick it was.

"So," Kakashi said, taking the katana, "Let me show you what one swing can do to three of these things."

Lunatic and TL set up the two cameras, then nodded. This would work…

"Ready, Kakashi?" Lunatic called over, earning a nod from the masked ninja.

"THREE…TWO…ONE…GO!"

With a grunt, Kakashi swung the katana. In the blink of an eye, all three mats had been cut open. The middle one had been cleaved in two while the other two were cut to the point of near-amputation.

"How fast was that one?" TL asked.

"According to this footage, the blade had popped off three guys in about three-thirty-three milliseconds." Lunatic said, analytically, "And it takes a quarter of a second to perceive that you gotta get out of the way of something."

"So, that's three guys, dead." Kakashi said, nodding in understanding.

"Yup." Lunatic answered, "He probably won't have enough time to move before he gets cleaved."

_Unfortunately, The Blue Marines are not wavered._

"The katana's good, but in a Blue Marines' book, nothing's better than a good cutlass." Smoker boasted, "You need room for a katana, but for the cutlass, I'm able to get close enough to kiss ya and I can still kill you."

_The Cutlass: A seaman's best bladed weapon that is strong enough to stop most broadswords…_

Cutlass:

Length: 2-3 feet

Weight: 4lbs

Substance: Steel

"So, the answer to ANBU's katana is the cutlass?" Reynol asked, measuring the tang of the blade.

"Yes." Hina answered, "It's sturdy, fast, and easy to use at the same time."

"Can it cut well?" TL asked, "Is it a reliable blade?"

"Do fish swim?" Smoker asked, the answer being "yes".

_To test the cutlass's cutting power, Commodore takes aim at a ballistics gel torso._

"GO!" Reynol called.

Smoker swung the cutlass at the torso's gut, the blade cutting clean through. The wound left a very deadly-looking wound just above the stomach. To drive his point home, Smoker swung it again and landed it on the torso's neck, slicing the throat open.

"THIS wound is amazing." Reynol said, inspecting the gut wound, "If this had happened to an actual enemy, he would watch his own guts spill out onto the floor and then die."

"And the throat wound?" Hina asked, raising her brow.

"It's fatal. Severed the esophagus." D-Dude said, inspecting the throat wound.

"What do you ANBU sissies think of that?" Smoker called over.

"That'll only happen if you hit the ANBU." Yamato answered from another table.

"Hmm…these two swords are good." Lunatic said, analyzing the table, "One's fast, the other's maneuverable…one more test to decide."

"The pig test?" Reynol asked.

"The pig test." Lunatic said with a nod.

_Wanting to see the edge of blades, TL sets up the closest thing to human flesh: a 120-pound pig carcass._

_First up, the ANBU katana…_

TL and Reynol set up a pair of pig carcasses that hung from the ceiling, then nodded. Reynol whistled, and Kakashi Hatake stepped up to the plate with his pig.

Kakashi unsheathed the katana, roared, then swung the katana at his respective pig. The folded-steel blade cleaved through the pig like butter.

"Wow…one swipe." Lunatic said, eyes wide, "You got yourself a one-body blade."

"Showoff." Smoker grumbled, then took a cutlass and moved to his respective pig.

_Next, the Blue Marine cutlass…_

Smoker took aim with his cutlass, then swung it at the pig with all his might. The cutlass lodged itself into the pig's spine, and Smoker jerked it out to slash the pig again. It had gutted the pig…but it took three slashes to get it done.

"Hm…" Reynol said, shaking his head, "I don't like it. You needed three swipes from that to do what took the katana one swipe to do."

"Sorry, Blue Marines. We're giving it to the katana." Lunatic said, apologetically, "In less than a third of a second, they depleted at least half of your guys."

_It's settled: the ANBU get the edge in bladed weapons._

--

_In a battle between the Blue Sea's Marines and the Leaf Village's ANBU, anything can happen._

_ANBU rely on teamwork and tactics to take down their enemies._

"That's why the ANBU would generally go in numbers when it came to missions." Yamato pointed out, "They know that, should they fall in battle, they'll have another member there to protect them, to help them, and to cover them. You HAVE to work together to make things work."

_Blue Marines rely on surprise tactics and brute force._

"The Blue Marines also go in teams, but for us, it's every man for himself." Smoker said, a cigar in his mouth, "If one man can get the job done, the mission's not a total failure. That's what we go by."

_So far, the ANBU are off to an early start with their katana. But when things get hectic, both teams can rely on bombs._

"Simple as tape…" Yamato said, holding up a small slip of paper, "But packs a nasty surprise."

_The Paper Bomb: a deceptive explosive that can be used for multiple purposes and with deadly efficiency._

Paper Bomb:

Size: 9in

Weight: Under an ounce

Substance: Paper, chakra

"The paper bomb is, in my opinion, one of the greatest weapons a shinobi should carry with him." Kakashi explained, "It can be used as a land mine, it can be used as an adhesive bomb, and can even be thrown on a kunai."

"So, what'll it do to a guy, should it be too close?" Reynol asked, inspecting the slip of paper.

"Loss of limbs, blindness, deafness." Yamato answered, "It lacerates whatever is in its radius."

"Well, you know the rules." TL said, "This thing's too dangerous to test in here. Let's take it outside."

_At a nearby range, the team has set up three dummies near one Paper Bomb._

"So, we've placed pressure sensors on these guys here." TL explained, "If the blast doesn't kill one, we'll see if it managed to pop the eardrums or cause other significant damage."

Once all members were a safe distance away, TL started the countdown.

"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!"

BOOM!

The three dummies flew back from the blast, but only one showed real significant damage.

_Though not primarily lethal, the paper bomb lacerates the closest target._

"This is interesting because, on this guy, we've got a complete compressed rib. But these guys…" Reynol laughed as he explained, "It's almost like they're unscathed."

Reynol pointed at the furthest target. "So, THIS guy's confused…" he explained, then moved on to the next furthest guy, "THIS guy's flat-out on his butt and deaf from popped eardrums. And y'know what?" he pointed at the lacerated target. "This guy's dead."

_While an impressive and adaptable explosive, the Blue Marines say they pack something with an even bigger blast._

"The paper bomb made a little 'bang'; not impressive." Hina stated, "We have something that makes a bigger 'BOOM': the grenado."

_The Grenado: a clay pot filled with gunpowder, shards of metal, and packing an extreme explosion._

Grenado:

Size: 10in diameter

Weight: 2lbs

Substance: Clay, gunpowder

_To test the power of the Grenado, our team sets up three targets at the same distance as the paper bomb test._

"So, what'll this thing do to these targets?" TL asked, "Just a question."

Smoker took a puff of his cigar, then answered, "Shred 'em. What else?"

Once all members of the team got out of range, TL started the countdown.

"Three…two…one…GO!"

Ka-BOOM!!!

The grenade went off in an explosion of fire, shrapnel, and proceeded to shred all the targets.

Lunatic whooped, excitedly, at the sight of the shredded targets. "WOW! WOW!! THIS GUY'S DEAD! THIS GUY'S DEAD! THEY'RE ALL DEAD!!"

_The grenado shreds all the targets, but there is more to the grenado than meets the eye._

"First off, the grenado creates a loud bang. That'll stun your enemy, throw them off-balance, and pop their eardrums to bleeding point." Reynol explained, "Secondly, it creates a pulse wave; that's like getting blunt trauma all over your body. And finally comes the deadliest part of a bomb: the shrapnel. It's unpredictable, deadly, and unexpected by most enemies."

_So after each explosive weapon test, which one has the bigger blast?_

"Right now, I'm going with the Paper Bomb." Lunatic stated, "It can attach to any surface, be used as a land mine, and blow you up before you even realize it's there."

"I disagree." TL stated, "I'm going with the Grenado. It killed all the targets in the area, whereas the Paper Bomb killed one and stunned the other two."

_With two experts on different sides, it is up to combat expert Sgt. Reynol to make the deciding vote._

"The Paper Bomb made a bang since it can be used for multiple functions." Reynol explained, "But when it comes to kills, we'll be seeing more from the Grenado because it's more of a fragmentation grenade than a flashbang grenade."

_Then it's decided: the Blue Marines get the edge in explosive weapons._

--

_When it came to taking out their enemies, Blue Marines and ANBU were total opposites._

_Blue Marines would come out of nowhere, kill as many enemies as they could, then flee to regroup and strike at the opportune moment._

"An enemy stands no chance against a strategy as simple as this." Smoker boasted, "Wound 'em first, then watch them limp away and finish 'em when they can't move anymore."

_ANBU would get in and out, striking from the shadows without anyone knowing they were there until it was too late._

"By the time someone can realize that an ANBU is there," Kakashi said, reading his favorite novel, "They'll be no more than corpses on the ground. They're THAT good."

_But when it comes to killing, both special ops teams can strike from a distance to avoid getting carved into pieces._

Smoker and Hina inspected a few guns, then nodded. "This'll be perfect." Hina said, "Is Hina right?"

"Yup. We'll just blow a hole in these ninja freaks and call it a night." Smoker said with a nod.

_For distance fighting, the Blue Marines' traditional weapon was…the Flintlock Pistol: the forerunner of all modern guns._

Flintlock Pistol:

Size: 12in

Weight: 1lb

Substance: Iron, gunpowder, flint

"The flintlock is a simple gun. It's filled with gunpowder, which can be activated with a mechanism that slams a piece of flint onto the metal surface." Hina explained, pulling the trigger and creating a spark, "The spark then activates the gunpowder and sends the musket ball flying outward."

"When guns are involved, people usually want to jump to that side. But THESE are not modern guns." Reynol explained, "You only get one shot with this thing, there's no additional shot, no ammunition cartridges, nothing. And odds are you're not going to get that killing shot."

_To test the flintlock's accuracy, Captain Hina takes aim at a foam torso wearing an ANBU's armor vest._

"So, where do you intend to nail us?" Kakashi asked, casually.

"Right here at the collarbone." Hina answered, tapping the spot with her dainty finger.

Taking a distance, Hina cocked the gun and took aim.

"Fire in the hole!" she called, then pulled the trigger.

BANG! In a blast of smoke, the musketball flew out and struck the dummy…going right under where Hina was aiming for and hitting the vest instead.

_The flintlock hits the target…but doesn't penetrate._

"Yeah, that's a problem with his pistol." Hina admitted, "It's not the most accurate weapon…and after this shot, it becomes useless. You can probably turn it around and use it as a club." She said, emphasizing her point by taking it by the barrel and pretending to hit someone.

"I'm not impressed." Kakashi stated, "We're probably on our seat with that hit, but we're not dead yet."

_Team ANBU also uses long-distance weapons of their own, weapons they say are more accurate._

_The Shuriken/Kunai combo: two weapons that can be thrown from a distance or utilized in close quarter combat._

Shuriken:

Size: 3in

Weight: less than a pound

Substance: Steel

Kunai:

Size: 5in

Weight: ½ lb

Substance: Steel

"Wow…" Lunatic said, looking over a four-point shuriken, "This is like four scalpels that you throw."

To drive home his point, Kakashi took aim at a target shaped like a human body. With just a few throws, he landed four shuriken into the target's midsection, head, shoulder, and neck.

"What about these kunais?" TL said, looking one over.

"The kunai is a ninja's best friend." Yamato answered, "Because in the hand of a ninja, a kunai knife has a hundred uses: scaling sheer surfaces, knife-fighting, thrusting, and even throwing."

"Let's see that, then." Reynol challenged.

_Captain Yamato takes four kunais and aims at a realistic target: a ballistics gel torso with a Marine hat._

Yamato took a deep breath, then took a kunai and threw it at the target. The knife whistled through the air and lodged itself in the dummy's gut. Yamato took aim with another kunai and threw it, this one lodging itself just above the collarbone. The last two, he threw at once and lodged themselves in the ribs of the dummy.

"Hmm…I'd say this guy's down." Reynol said on further inspection, "This kunai hear got him in the liver…" Reynol wiggled the kunai lodged in the dummy's gut to emphasize his point. "This one got him in the shoulder muscle, so he can't use that arm anymore. And these two…may not have been lethal. But I'd say he was done on those first two strikes."

"But nice strategy: throw away your weapon." Smoker sneered, "Disarm yourself so we can take you apart."

"An ANBU won't throw all his kunai." Kakashi stated, "He's saving his last one to slit your throat."

"We'll see." Hina said with a confident nod.

_Now, which weapon gets the edge in long-range combat?_

"The shuriken and kunai were adaptable weapons, could be thrown accurately, and be used from a safe distance." Reynol said, "The flintlock…it's too unreliable and you only get one shot. You can't get that shot back just by picking it up."

_In long-range weapons, the point goes to the ANBU._

--

_In the looming battle, both ANBU and Blue Marines will show no mercy, for they know all-too-well that no mercy will be shown to them._

_The Blue Marines were strict in their progress. The consequences of failure depended on the seriousness of the situation._

"In the Blue Marines, we have a code to follow." Smoker advised, "If you break a rule, you lose a ranking. Break several rules and you'll be kicked out. Anything more serious…" He drew his finger across his neck. "You'll be shot."

_But the ANBU also require total commitment. For them it was either win or die._

"The difference between the ANBU and the Blue Marines is the ANBU have a code of SILENCE." Yamato explained, "You come in, take the oath, and you swear to all of Konoha that you won't rat, lie, or think yourself above the village. This is serious stuff they talk about."

_Both Blue Marines and ANBU have wicked Special Weapons._

"So, the flintlock pistol did nothing…" Hina said, almost malevolently, "How about if Hina brings this, then? The rifle."

_The Flintlock Rifle: A long-range variant of the pistol that shoots farther, harder, and more accurately._

Flintlock Rifle:

Size: 3.5ft

Weight: 12lbs

Substance: Wood, metal, gunpowder

"I would say this has a better chance of hitting something than the pistol, but again, you only get one shot with it." Reynol pointed out, "And if the target is moving, it only makes things harder."

Hina took a rifle in hand, aimed it at a foam torso and, for a nice touch, decided to call her shot this time.

"Think Hina will nail him in the head…" she said, tensely focused.

BANG!

The musket ball flew out and landed straight on the target's forehead, creating a sizeable hole in it the size of a marble.

_The rifle is clearly more accurate than the flintlock, but what about the ANBU's armor vest? Hina takes aim at a new target clad in the ANBU vest._

"Fire in the hole!" she called, then pulled the trigger.

Click…

Hina looked down at the rifle. "Misfire." She called.

"Common problem with the rifle is that it tends to misfire. If you hold it the wrong way, there won't be enough of a spark to send the musket ball out." Smoker said, holding a rifle in both correct and incorrect ways.

"I'll tell you now that, should it misfire like that, it'll cost the Blue Marine his life." Lunatic warned.

_But when it DOES fire…_

BANG!

When the smoke cleared, all experts squinted and saw a trickle of blood running down the torso's bottom half.

"YES! YEAAAH!!!" Smoker said, almost gleefully.

_The vest gives way._

"So, let's take off this vest…" TL said as he and Reynol took the vest off the dummy. "Oh, we got us a dead ANBU here."

"Are you kidding?" Yamato asked, "Look how many times that thing misfired…"

"Denial in what you're seeing, bub. Accept it." Smoker said, proudly.

"We can strike from just as far without just one shot." Kakashi pointed out, his voice hinting a warning, "With a little thing called the kusarigama…"

_The Kusarigama: a combination of sickle and chain that can strike from up to fourteen feet away._

Kusarigama:

Length: 14ft

Weight: 4lbs

Substance: Iron chain, steel blade, wood handle

"The kusarigama is a multifunctional weapon." Kakashi explained, "The chain has an iron ball on the end and can be used to strike someone or to entangle the arms or legs of an enemy. The scythe part can be used to cut you down, be held in your hand, and if the chain breaks, you can still use the scythe as a kama."

_First up, Kakashi tests the iron ball, aiming at a gel head._

"GO!"

Kakashi threw out the ball, then swung it in a wide arc to bring it slamming down on the skull. Said skull was smashed open and a part of the skullcap was taken clean off, revealing its insides. He reeled the ball back in, got in close, then threw the ball at the head's face. The result was that it smashed the nose, brow, and knocked a few teeth loose.

"Yup…everything the skull was made to protect…it's gone." Lunatic said, looking the head over.

"And let me show you what the other end can do…" Kakashi said, "I'm just getting started."

Kakashi took the sickle part, then swung it over his head before lobbing it at a spare torso. The blade dug deep into the ballistics gel body and remained lodged in the shoulder until Kakashi simply took it out.

"In my experience," Reynol said, "Any hit to this muscle-part of the shoulder is a crippling, if not, lethal shot. The muscle here is completely severed."

"Can you hit that area without the chain?" Lunatic asked.

"Yup. Case and point…" Kakashi said, then took out the sickle, held it in one hand, and jammed it in the opposite shoulder. "Job well done."

_When it comes to special weapons, who gets the edge?_

"The kusarigama was impressive, but the flintlock rifle KICKS BUTT!" Lunatic said, excitedly, "It shoots from beyond the kusarigama's effective range and with more accuracy than the pistol."

_With that said, the point goes to the Blue Marines._

--

_The test results are in, the testing complete, and now it's time to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior: Blue Marines or ANBU?_

_Our experts are divided…_

"First shot, first win, I'm giving it ALL to the Blue Marines." TL stated, "If they get the spring on these guys, they're toast."

"ANBU all the way." Lunatic answered, "They're more dedicated, more intelligent, and more capable of working in groups. Pre-game prediction goes to the ninja elite."

_We tested four weapons used by the ANBU black ops: the Katana, Paper Bomb, Shuriken/Kunai combo, and Kusarigama._

_We also tested four weapons of the Blue Marines' arsenal: the Cutlass, Grenado, Flintlock Pistol, and Flintlock Rifle._

_In close-quarter weapons, the katana slashed clean through the cutlass._

"The katana is made of tougher stuff, cuts easier, and will kill more people. The cutlass lets you get in close, but it's lightweight and doesn't cut as easily. Edge to the katana."

Edge: ANBU

_In explosive weapons, the Marines' grenado blew away the ANBU paper bomb._

"Fragmentation is the key thing for the explosives battle. The grenado also packs a bigger blast front and emits a louder bang."

Edge: Blue Marines

_In long-range weapons, the Marines' flintlock pistol couldn't hold a candle to the shuriken/kunai combo._

"The flintlock pistol has only one shot and then its useless. For shuriken and kunai, if it hits something, all you have to do is pick it back up and you can use it again. Gotta go with the reusable weapons."

Edge: ANBU

_Finally, in special weapons, the Marines' Flintlock Rifle went up against the ANBU kusarigama._

"Kusarigama is wicked and all, but the rifle can be aimed accurately and strike from beyond any of the ANBU weapons."

Edge: Blue Marines.

_Lunatic readies the battle data in a computer to simulate a five-man squad scuffle._

_It will be a battle of opposites: Brute Force…_

(The Blue Marines open fire on a group of pirates, nailing a few of them.)

_Vs. Stunning Stealth…_

(An ANBU strikes from a building and nails an enemy in the face with a shuriken.)

_Lone Strength…_

(A Blue Marine falls victim to gunfire, but his colleague kills the murderer with a swing of the cutlass.)

_Vs. Teamwork…_

(An Anbu nods to his companion as they tag-team a summoning.)

"Here's the moment we've been waiting for. Let's go…" Lunatic said, then pressed a key on his computer.

--the fight--

In a suburban area, a small boat came ashore via a local dock and off the boat came five people in white coats and hats, each armed with a sword and a few firearms. The leader was a man with slicked-back blonde hair. Following him were a brunette woman, a red-haired portly man, a bearded bald man, and a blonde woman.

On inspecting the town, the Boss Marine made a hand signal and marched towards the city. The other marines were quick to follow.

Not too far away, a squad of black-clad ninjas was stealthily making their way through the network of houses and yards. The leader had a white, marked mask that looked like the face of some kind of lizard and his hair was a dark shade of blue. Joining him was a purple-haired woman with a bird mask, a blonde man with an ox mask, a teenage brunette boy with a frog mask, and a black-haired woman with a cat mask.

The ANBU boss checked a corner, saw nothing, then signaled to his teammates and moved out. His squad was quick to follow.

And just at a local cul-de-sac, the Marines checked the local area…just as the ANBU turned the corner of a house. The Marines took quick notice and the Boss gave one order.

"FIRE!"

The ANBU Boss ordered evasive action and four members sprung away from the line of fire just in time. The teenage member, however, not quite used to customs, sprang a second too late and fell victim to the blonde marine's rifle.

--

ANBU: 4

Blue Marines: 5

--

Having avoided the first round of fire, the blonde ANBU man took a shuriken out his pouch and, with a flick of his wrist, threw it. It hit the portly red-haired marine right in the neck and he gave a strangled cry as he fell to the ground.

NOW they were even.

--

ANBU: 4

Blue Marines: 4

--

With the ANBU out of their line of fire, the Marines charged them, taking out a few of their flintlock pistols and rifles.

The bearded Marine went after the purple-haired ANBU. He chased her until she turned a corner, but when he turned the corner, he acted on instinct and fired the pistol. He missed by a mile and before he could even reach for another, something jammed itself in his back.

It was the black-haired woman protecting her teammate, and she had jammed the scythe part of her kusarigama into him. She swiftly removed it, moved it around his neck, then proceeded to slit his throat with it.

She let him fall to the ground, dead as a doornail, then went off to join her partner.

--

ANBU: 4

Blue Marines: 3

--

The brunette Marine woman scrambled into a house, the blonde ANBU man in hot pursuit. She pulled back the flint mechanism of her pistol and just as the door opened, she fired.

The metal ball struck the ANBU straight in the chest, but didn't penetrate his vest. Instead, it knocked him on his butt and he fixed the situation in no time by flipping back to his feet. Taking out a kunai, he threw it at the female marine only to see it miss by a mile. He took his spare in hand, then charged, intent on impaling her, but was suddenly met with the butt of the pistol. He gripped her arm, pushed against her weight for a while, then knocked her down.

The brunette marine moved her legs as the ANBU approached, then caught him by the hamstrings and knocked him to the ground, too. She got to her feet, lit up a grenado, then tossed it behind her back as she raced for the door.

The ANBU got back up only to fall back down as the bomb went off, the shrapnel killing him in an instant. The brunette later met up with her blonde colleague and her boss, then went off in search of the surviving ANBU.

--

ANBU: 3

Blue Marines: 3

--

The blonde woman and the Boss searched the area, then spotted the ANBU boss and the two ANBU women. With a hand signal, the ANBU split up into the woman team going one way and the boss going the other way.

The Marine Boss and the blonde woman went after the women ANBU while the brunette went after the ANBU boss. A short while later, the boss and blonde had caught the purple-hair in fenced area and the boss took aim with a second flintlock, his last one, and nailed her in the face with a musket ball.

The black-hair snuck down quietly and, with one subtle move, caught the blonde woman with her kusarigama's weighted end. The blonde's skull had been crushed and she fell to the floor, dead as a doornail.

--

ANBU: 2

Blue Marines: 2

--

The Marine Boss turned on the girl to see her spinning the sickle part of the kusarigama by the chain. But wait, he still had a shot in his rifle. He pointed it at her, pulled the trigger, and…was only met with a disheartening click.

Misfire.

The woman threw the sickle part at the Marine Boss only to miss by a mile. Taking advantage of the time to draw the weapon back, the Marine Boss took the butt of his rifle and smashed it into the ANBU girl's visage.

While the ANBU sat there with a cracked mask and a broken nose, the Marine Boss put a little extra powder in his gun, cocked it once more, then aimed at point blank range. THIS time, though, he had enough.

BANG!

The woman jerked before going limp, then the Marine Boss walked out of the fence's area. Just one more guy to kill, that was all…

--

ANBU: 1

Blue Marines: 2

--

The ANBU boss found himself in the backyard of a local house, then took out a kunai and threw it at his pursuer, the brunette Marine. He missed her as it hit just in front of her feet, but he'd work it out later.

The Marine had used up all her guns and her only bomb, so she engaged him in close quarters by drawing her cutlass. The ANBU countered by whipping out his katana.

The two clashed steel for a few exchanges until the ANBU Boss thrust forward and made a small gash on her arm. In exchange, she thrust at him with her cutlass and grazed his shoulder, shedding blood.

The ANBU boss, having had his fair share of fun, jumped clean over his enemy and sprinted away. The marine gave chase, but then her foot happened to tread on the kunai…which had a paper bomb strapped to its handle.

BOOM!

The marine flew up and forward before landing on the ground, limp as a rag.

--

ANBU: 1

Blue Marines: 1

--

ANBU Boss and Marine Boss, it had all come down to this. Both took their respective swords in hand, then made their move.

The Marine thrust with his cutlass only to meet a sharp parry from the ANBU. The elite ninja maneuvered the sword away, then thrust out his foot and thumped him in the midsection. The ANBU advanced swiftly as his opponent staggered, but the Marine caught himself then slashed with his cutlass. The ANBU parried swiftly, but was soon met with the Marine's fist.

The ANBU staggered back, then used his forearm to block another oncoming punch. He raised his knee to strike the Marine in the gut, then knocked him onto his back. As the ANBU towered over him, the Marine raised his foot and struck his enemy in the chest. He then rolled to his feet and both of their blades became flurries of steel, striking, slashing, missing, and parrying in the short span of a few seconds.

The Marine struck, then pushed against the ANBU, knocking him on the ground. Whilst flat-out on his stomach, the ANBU pulled a spare kunai from his belt pocket and rolled away from the oncoming cutlass. With one move, he jammed the kunai into the Marine's leg, then jerked it out as the Marine roared and tried to get him again. The ANBU was back on his feet, katana in one hand and kunai in the other.

Marine and ANBU circled each other, then the ANBU took a swipe at the Marine only to meet a parry. The Marine threw a punch with his free hand only to meet the ANBU's forearm. And before the Marine could even try to get his arm free, the ANBU moved the arm away, then jammed the kunai into the marine's sword arm.

The Marine howled in pain, but then it got worse as the ANBU grabbed him by the head and brought the Marine's face slamming into his knee. The Marine crumpled to the ground, blood gushing out his nose and his breathing erratic. The ANBU towered over the white-coat, took his katana, and proceeded to impale the Marine on it.

The Marine's scream turned into gagging…then into silence. The ANBU removed his katana, cleaned it properly, then walked off clutching his arm. That last wound hurt…

--

Winner: ANBU

"The ANBU won because of their teamwork, reusable weapons, and their use to working in small cells." Lunatic announced, "I ran the computer and found that the ANBU won almost 55.4 percent of the time."

ANBU kills…

Ninjato: 113

Shuriken/Kunai: 150

Paper Bomb: 143

Kusarigama: 147

All-in-all kills: 554

_The Blue Marines' deadliest weapon was the flintlock rifle, but its single shot wasn't enough to win the day._

Blue Marine kills…

Cutlass: 96

Flintlock Pistol: 70

Grenado: 120

Flintlock Rifle: 160

All-in-all kills: 446

"I think the main reason is because the Blue Marines rely on their huge numbers to take down many foes." TL said, trying to understand, "But when they don't have large numbers behind them, they can get taken down easily."

"Better tactics, better weapons, better strategies. That's what it all came down to." Kakashi said, smiling under his mask.

Smoker obviously couldn't believe what had happened. "ANBU are little guys! Well, that's what the computer says. Computer's probably from Konoha…"

(An ANBU takes a classic ninja stance, throws a smoke bomb on the ground, and seems to vanish in a puff of smoke.)

_With apologies to One Piece fans…_


	6. UrukHai vs Ra'zac

**Ra'zac**

(A black being with a birdlike face and large eyes took a pair of swords in hand)

Deadly assassins of Alagaesia infamous in their fields of stealth and endurance.

(A Ra'zac silently sneaks up on an elf, then grabs it from behind and slits its throat with a knife.)

**Uruk-Hai**

(A bulky, beastly figure takes a few swings with a large sword before unleashing a snarl)

Bloodthirsty ravager of Middle Earth that nearly brought an end to the Rohan.

(An Uruk-Hai clashes blades with a Rohan man before shoving him over with his shield and hacking a limb off.)

_WHO IS DEADLIEST?_

_To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first century science, we see what happens when the two warriors go toe-to-toe._

_No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is…_

_**The Deadliest Warrior**_

The fight club rang with the sounds of metal as two expert teams clashed swords, but of two different classes. One team's swords were heavy and near-unstoppable while the other swords were light and swift.

_Welcome to the fight club. Here, we've assembled a team of doctors, scientists, and combat experts along with an armory of the ages. All to simulate a fight between two first-class warriors that lived universes apart._

_First up…_

_A Ra'zac: Alagaesia's lethal assassins that were highly trained in killing and staying alive._

_VS…_

_An Uruk-Hai: Home-bred savages that became the most powerful species of Orc and became born killers._

**Ra'zac:  
Height: 5'10"  
****Weight: 156lbs  
****Gear: 14lbs  
****Armor: Exoskeleton  
****Loyalty: Galbatorix**

**--**

**Uruk-Hai:  
****Height: 6'2"  
****Weight: 186lbs  
****Gear: 30lbs  
****Armor: Mail and Steel  
****Loyalty: Saruman**

A white hedgehog with cowboy boots, a golden mane, and unmatching gloves tinkered with a camera to make sure it was working.

_Biomedical engineer and media expert, __**TLSoulDude**__, will test to see how much damage the weapons used will cause._

"It's my little tech that'll show what these weapons can do." TL explained, "I can't wait to see what happens with such lethal weapons."

A man with a buzz-cut, black shirt and camo pants inspected a few ballistics gel objects, preparing them for the slaughter.

_Weapons expert and biologist, __**Sgt. Marcus Reynol**__, will show the damage that the weapons in use will inflict._

"This matchup will see lots of blood because we have weapons made to cut things up, chop them up, and slash 'em to ribbons." Reynol said, excitedly.

A red-haired ninja typed a few things on the computer, then put a finger on his chin.

_Computer wiz, __**Lunatic 121**__, will gather test data from each test and combat performance. The data will be put into a computer made to simulate fight scenes to determine the winner and find out who is the Deadliest Warrior._

_On the side of the Alagaesian assassins are the ones who feel they will take home the gold._

A silver-scaled dragon with red hair inspected a bottle with some unknown liquid in it.

_Inheritance Cycle fan and Alagaesia expert, __**Dezblade, **__will demonstrate the lethality of Ra'zac weapons._

"A Ra'zac is one of the deadliest creatures to roam Alagaesia. They lived longer than humans, so they have experience over this meathead of a warrior that is the Uruk-Hai." Dez stated, "It's that simple factor that'll give these guys the necessary edge."

A young man with brown hair, a medieval getup, and a green cape took a pair of long blades and wielded them with near-expert use.

_**Ranger24 **__is master of several weapon forms, proficient in guns, explosives, and bladed weapons._

"In my book, the Ra'Zac would probably go unseen by this Uruk-Hai. That beast'll be done for before he even knows what's there." Ranger grunted.

_The Ra'zac came to Alagaesia from across the sea, their company being humans. Their unnatural abilities included surprising longevity and inhuman endurance and performance rates. Their abilities caught the attention of Galbatorix, the evil tyrant of Alagaesia, and he swiftly brought them under his command to become his trained assassins._

"Ra'zac were of great skill." Dez explained, "When Galbatorix got them on his side, he could smite whoever he wanted. The Ra'zac had the weapons, the tactics, and foreign objects. They were THAT good."

_Our Ra'zac experts are confident…but what about the opposition? Those who support the savage Uruk-Hai?_

A young man with brown hair picked up an Uruk-Hai shield and strapped it to his arm. He then picked up a spear and thrust it forward.

_**Shire Folk **__knows Middle Earth weapons inside and out. He is proficient in weapons from Mirkwood swords to the weapons used by orcs and Uruks._

"A Ra'zac stands no chance against an Uruk-Hai." Shire pointed out, "This beastly, armor-plated machine of death will crush him like a cockroach."

Another young man, this one blond and clad in a green jumpsuit, took aim with a bow and arrow.

_**Mrfipp**__ is an expert swordsman, capable of using long slashing swords or big hacking swords._

"Ra'zac vs. Uruk?" Fipp asked, "Uruk all the way because, what'll this thing do to it? Ra'zac weapons can bloody an Uruk, but an Uruk weapon will smash him to pieces."

_The Uruk-Hai were first spawned in Middle Earth's third age when Saruman, the White Wizard, pledged allegiance to the dark lord, Sauron. Cross-bred with goblin-men and orcs and bred from the depths of the earth, sunlight will not slow an Uruk and they can fight and run for hours without stopping._

"Sauron needed an ultimate fighting force." Fipp explained, "He didn't have any orcs to pursue the One Ring, so he had Saruman build one for him. It was as simple as that."

_Uruks were fearsome adversaries, and they packed a most horrifying weapon._

_The Cleaver: A thick and powerful, blade that could gut a man or a horse. Uruks could use these swords for multiple purposes in battle, slashing, smashing, and chopping._

Cleaver:  
Size: 3-4 ft  
Weight: 6lbs  
Substance: Iron

"This is my favorite weapon of all." Shire said, taking an Uruk sword in hand and showing it to the experts. "There's nothing more fun for an Uruk than taking this sword and doing damage with it. You have the wide area here for gutting or chopping off people's limbs, and then you have my favorite part…" Shire turned the sword around to show a wicked spike on the back part of the blade, "This mean spike on the back used to crack open armor."

"I can tell…" TL said, taking the sword and inspecting it, "This thing looks like it's gonna smash through whatever you swing it at."

"Well, how 'bout we put that to the test, then?" Shire asked, "Gimme somethin' to break."

"Sure thing, man." TL said, looking MORE than happy to do so.

_First, to test the force of the attack, the team rigs a gel torso made of ballistics gel; the same density as human flesh._

"So, how're you gonna come down on this guy?" Reynol asked.

"Think I'll bring it down on the shoulder with THIS side of the blade." Shire answered, gesturing to the broad, chopping part of the blade, "Then I'll bring this spike down on his head. To make it more fun, put a helmet on him…"

"Sure thing." TL said, pulling out a stereotypical Rohan helmet and putting it on the dummy's head.

"Ready, Shire Folk?" Lunatic called.

"Sure thing." Shire said, then took a little time to breathe.

"THREE…TWO…ONE…GO!"

Shire swung the sword over his head, then brought it sharply down on the torso's shoulder. The Uruk sword easily smashed into the shoulder, shattering the collarbone in an instant.

And as if the dummy wasn't dead enough to begin with, Shire Folk jerked the sword out, turned it around, and smashed it onto the helmeted head. The sharp spike smashed through the helmet like nothing was there and hit something inside its protection.

_The damage is severe, but only just beginning. What happened under the helmet?_

Reynol winced at the sight of the shoulder wound, but took off the helmet. There was a hole right in the skull cap.

"First of all, I'd like to point this out. If he wasn't dead before, he's even MORE dead now. That cleaver's spike penetrated the helmet and cracked open the skull inside."

"Huh." Fipp said, impressed, "How do you like that, Ra'zac sissies?"

"Impressive…but if your savage beast can HIT the Ra'Zac, I'll be impressed." Ranger responded.

"Well, then I believe a more accurate test is required?" Reynol asked, his brow raised.

"Sure thing." Dez said with a nod.

_An Uruk's sword is obviously devastating…but can it get past a Ra'zac defense? Ra'zac bodies are covered in an exoskeleton that is both flexible and durable; it proves effective against blunt trauma._

_But what about the Uruk's fearsome weapon? To find out, Mrfipp takes aim at a pig carcass clad in leather armor similar in density to Ra'zac shells._

"So, is this similar to Ra'zac skin?" Lunatic asked, showing them the armor.

Dez felt the armor and tried to bend it. It hardly moved and was actually very thick and dense.

"Yup." The anthro-dragon answered, "This is good, maybe slightly thinner, but it'll be an effective test."

"And three…two…one…GO."

Fipp took the Uruk sword, then swung at the pig with all his might. The sword chopped right into the pig's middle and cleaved right into the leather armor. It was quite obvious what would happen if that had been a Ra'zac.

"Guys? I think we have a dead Ra'zac on our hands…" TL said, worriedly.

_Despite its protection, the Uruk Hai's cleaver carves right through the armor._

"Well, lemme see…" Reynol said, feeling inside the wound, "You've got several broken ribs and ruptured organs. If this was a Ra'zac, he's done for.

_The Uruks have landed a fatal blow…but the Ra'zac also have their own killer sword…_

_The Leaf-Blade sword: a long, two-hand blade made to cut through multiple foes at once._

Leaf-blade Sword  
Length: 5ft  
Weight: 4.5lbs  
Substance: Elvish metal

"Feast your eyes on this, Uruk fans." Ranger said, holding out a broadsword with leaf decorations on its hilt, "Ra'zac leaf-blade sword. "The main thing you'll notice is that it's a much longer weapon than the cleaver."

TL took the sword and was actually surprised at how light it was. "Wow…I expected it to be heavier…"

"That's because it's made of Elvish metal which means it's strong, but easy to wield." Ranger explained, "And the Ra'zac, they've been using these swords for decades so they're extremely skilled with these weapons."

"But what's a Ra'zac doing with an elvish weapon?" Reynol asked.

"Well," Dez explained, "When Galbatorix took over Alagaesia, all the elves retreated into the forest, leaving their weapons behind. The Ra'zacs helped themselves."

_To test the cutting power of the Leaf-Blade sword, Ranger takes aim at the closest thing to human flesh: a pig carcass._

Ranger took a good look at the pig suspended from the ceiling, then nodded and raised the leaf-blade sword.

"Ready?" TL called.

"Bring it on…" Ranger answered.

"GO!"

Ranger swung the leaf-blade sword with all his might, cleaving the pig in two with just one swipe. The leaf-blade sword's length and weight, combined with Ranger's strength, was too much for the carcass to take.

_The leaf-blade sword makes quick work of the soft pig, but Team Uruk is not impressed._

"I wasn't impressed with that test for two reasons." Shire Folk admitted, "One: it's easy to gut something that isn't gonna hurt you. And two: that pig is soft. An Uruk-Hai is covered head-to-toe in armor."

"A Ra'zac will find a way past that armor." Dez said with a shrug, "It's what they do."

"A way around Uruk armor?" Fipp asked with a laugh, "Good luck with that."

_The Ra'zac are skilled swordsmen, but look what they'll have to punch through. An Uruk's armor is thick enough to repel arrows and protect them from powerful attacks, and only two places are vulnerable._

Back at the fight club, Ranger looked over his target. This was NOT going to be easy.

A ballistics gel torso was now clad in a chestplate and a helmet typical of that used by an Uruk. But Ranger chose not to let this get him down and immediately saw a few weak points.

"Here we are…" Ranger said, pointing a few areas out, "Your guy's vulnerable here…" He pointed out the neck area of the torso, "And here, too." He pointed at the pectoral muscle under the arm.

"Yes, but you must first answer one question: can this Ra'zac leaf-blade sword get through an Uruk's armor?" Lunatic asked.

"Take your best shot." Fipp challenged, "Go ahead."

Everyone cleared away from the area as Dezblade took the Ra'zac sword and swung it at the Uruk helmet. The sword hit the armor with a loud "clang", but immediately found an angle and slid off the side.

"Just as I thought." Shire stated, proudly, "You spent so much time talking about that blade's power, but it just did nothing to the Uruk's armor."

"How 'bout now?" Dez asked, then jammed the sword into the pectoral area of the dummy, piercing the chain mail underneath.

_Both warriors have pitted their weapons against each other's armor. But whose close-range weapon gets the edge?_

"I'm giving the edge to the Uruk-Hai sword." Lunatic filled in, "That thing is massive and heavy, not to mention it did something the Ra'zac sword couldn't: punch through the defense of that warrior. Anything that sword is swung at is going down."

_It's settled then: the Uruk-Hai gets the edge in close-range weapons._

--

_Tactical Ra'zac vs. Brutal Uruk-Hai…in the ultimate fight, which warrior will destroy the other?_

_Uruk-Hai rely on their brute force and near-impregnable defense._

"Why do you think that Uruk-Hai are such powerful warriors?" Fipp asked, "They're brutal, their armor is thick, and their weapons are HEAVY. We're gonna come at the Ra'zac and they won't be able to stop us."

_Ra'zac used their tactics, skill, and agility._

"The Ra'zac prize intelligence over force because, if you can find any weakness on your enemy, it can end the fight in an instant." Ranger pointed out, "If the Ra'zac finds the one kink in your armor, you'll die five times before you hit the ground."

_To find the kinks in armor, the Ra'zac's most adaptable weapon was…_

_The Twin Knives: a pair of short swords utilized for flexibility, speed, and lethality._

Twin Knives:  
Length: 29in  
Weight: 3lbs each  
Substance: Elvish metal

"Check out these babies here…" Dez said, holding a pair of long knives, "These are a Ra'zac's best friend."

"So, what good will these weapons do against an Uruk?" Lunatic asked.

"These knives are lightning-fast and are multi-dimensional. They can slash, they can stab, and they can be both mid-range and close-range weapons." Dez said, proving his point, "I can even turn 'em around and use them to block oncoming sword strikes."

"Are they strong swords?" TL asked, "Do they break a lot?"

"Nope." Ranger said, shaking his head, "They don't break a lot. They can take most sword strikes pretty easily."

_To test the twin knives' flexibility as weapons, Dez prepares to test his weapon on a realistic target._

A huge slab of meat hung from the ceiling as Sergeant Reynol patted it with one hand. "Here you go, pal. We have at least three-hundred pounds of raw beef. If you hit a rib, then we'll know. You pierce something, we'll know."

"Sounds like fun…" Dez said, excitedly.

"Ready?" TL called as soon as they took a safe distance.

Dez's response was to take a deep breath and kind of bounce in a battle-ready stance.

"Three…two…one…GO!"

Dez went hog-wild on the beef, slashing it with the twin knives and going so fast that they were metallic blurs. He eventually went with stabbing it with one and cutting it up with the other.

In no time at all, the piece of beef was slashed into ribbons, chunks of it dotting the floor beneath it.

"Wow…the damage here is phenomenal." Ray said, inspecting the hunk of meat, "In just a few seconds, you reduced your enemy into an unrecognizable mass."

"But it's a slashing weapon like your last one." Shire pointed out, "It's not going to hurt an Uruk's armor."

"Fine." Ranger said with a shrug, "If he can't scratch your armor, he'll slit your throat with 'em."

_Uruk-Hai also packed a lethal mid-range weapon of their own; one that even their own kind is vulnerable to._

_The Spear: a lethal polearm used to thrust and impale. Uruks carried up to four of these adaptable weapons, and the strongest could even throw them with pinpoint accuracy._

Spear:  
Length: 5-7ft  
Weight: 13lbs  
Substance: Wood and Iron

Mrfipp wheeled in a cart with six spears laid across it. He took one up, then popped the tip of it in the ground.

"Gentlemen, I give you the spear. It's simple, easy to use, and I guarantee you that whatever it hits will be rendered useless." Fipp said, showing the length of the spear off.

"But, wait, what if this spear hits something like a shield rather than an enemy." Lunatic asked.

"Then the enemy will have to either reach forward and pull the spear out or ditch the shield because he can't use it anymore." Shire answered.

_To test the puncturing power of the spear, Fipp takes aim at a gel torso…_

"GO!"

With a grunt, Fipp thrust with the spear and two things happened. First off, the spearhead went right into the torso, exiting out its back. Second, it hit a vital area (several actually).

"Oh, man…" TL said as the team went in to inspect the damage, "What a gruesome sight."

"First off, it takes no genius to see that this guy is done for." Reynol explained, "This would have smashed open the ribcage and pierced lung and heart alike. And from the force, this spear hit with the same force as…like, a car wreck or something."

_The spear makes its mark, impaling its unarmored victim. But how will it fare against tougher enemies?_

"So, what do you Ra'zac guys think of that?" Fipp asked.

"Impressive, but there are two things you forgot." Dez stated, "FIRST, a Ra'zac has that exoskeleton, so grazing it isn't going to work. Secondly, the Ra'zac relies on speed and skill to win."

"If that sword could get through your armor, what makes you think this spear won't?" Shire asked.

_Team Ra'zac sets up a new target for the spear: a target clad in leather armor the same density of a Ra'zac's skin._

"Man, this armor is really flimsy, isn't it?" Fipp asked, flexing a piece of the armor, "It's more of a thick hide than armor plating."

"I've seen you talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?" Ranger asked, brow raised.

"Absolutely." Fipp answered, then took a spear in hand.

"Three…Two…One…GO!"

Fipp pulled back the spear, then thrust at the torso's midsection. The spear's blade struck the abdomen…and punched right through the leather armor.

"Once again, your exoskeleton proves useless against the mighty weapons of the Uruk-Hai." Shire stated, nodding in satisfaction.

"Again, you leave out the factor of HITTING the Ra'zac." Ranger objected, "Ra'zac are known for their skill and agility."

"Well, with that 'skill and agility', your last two attacks proved completely useless against the Uruk's armor." Fipp corrected.

"We found a weak point. What makes you think that the Ra'zac won't?" Dez asked.

_But as effective as the spear is, it's only a two-dimensional weapon._

"This spear is only made to thrust, and the Uruk is only using one hand; the other is holding either another weapon or its shield. The twin knives, however, are versatile and multifunctional." Reynol explained, "For that reason, I give the edge to the knives."

_With Reynol's word, the Ra'zac gets the edge in mid-range weapons._

--

_Lethal Ra'zac assassins or brutal Uruk-Hai berserkers? Only one will emerge, and both have killing intent._

"Do you know what the first Uruk-Hai ever born did?" Shire Folk asked, "The minute he was free of his amniotic sac, he reached out and strangled the orc who dug him out. So, as one can tell from that story alone, Uruks are BORN killers."

"The Ra'zac have had decades', possibly even centuries' worth of killing experience. And the fact that they can strike seemingly from nowhere makes them all the deadlier." Ranger stated, "If a trained human can't see 'em coming, c'mon, how could a mindless Uruk-Hai?"

_Uruk-Hai and Ra'zac were different in preferred forms of combat:_

_Uruks used their brute force and thick armor to beat their enemies into bloody pulps._

_Ra'zac used their skill and intellect to take their enemies down without so much as a sound._

_Ra'zac excelled in close-quarter combat, but their ingenuity turned a small weapon into something that can kill at a distance…_

_The Throwing Dagger: ten inches of curved steel to aid its movement through air._

Throwing Dagger:  
Size: 10in  
Weight: 1lb  
Substance: Elvish steel  
Range: 15ft

"This is a favorite weapon of the Ra'zac." Dez said, showing off the curved blade of the dagger. "By the time you see one of 'em holding this thing, you're dead."

"Hm…throwing weapons are kinda iffy for me." Lunatic pointed out, "Is this an accurate weapon? Does it have a good range?"

"Yes to all and we can get it back just as quickly." Ranger answered, "By thirty feet, they're aiming. By fifteen, they release. And when the weapon hits, they'll be on top of them."

_To test the throwing power of the Ra'zac weapon, Ranger takes aim at a wooden board. Just one catch: Splatter-balls will be in the way."_

"So, here's your goal." Lunatic informed, "Hit the target and go through all these obstacles. Can you handle that?"

"No problem." Ranger answered, then took a knife and raised it over his head, aiming carefully.

"GO!"

With a grunt, Ranger threw the dagger end-over-end. The dagger spun through the air, smashed through the splatter-balls and embedded itself into the wooden target.

_The dagger hits its target and destroys the splatter-balls, but hi-speed footage reveals something that could be a fatal flaw to the throwing dagger._

"Watch this thing here…" Lunatic said, everyone gathered around the computer, "The blade of the knife broke the first splatter-ball, but look at the second one…"

As all watched, the hilt of the blade hit the ball. The ball still broke, but Lunatic still ahd to speak up about it.

"If the hilt of this blade hits the Uruk, then the weapon is useless; you can't get it back unless you get past that armored warrior." Lunatic said, shaking his head.

Fipp let out a slight chuckle. "So, if you miss or hit the Uruk, you're going to be in over your head."

"How 'bout we show you a weapon that's guaranteed to hurt someone and with just as much accuracy, if not more so."

_Uruk-Hai preferred close-combat, but if the situation called for it, they would often pack a punch from a distance._

_The Short Bow: its short length and taut string means that it can catapult arrows with armor-piercing force._

Short Bow:  
Length: 3.5ft  
Arrows: 14in  
Substance: Wood and Iron  
Range: 20ft

Fipp took a short, but strong bow from the table and showed it to the experts. "Gentlemen, this is the Uruk-hai Short Bow. It's short, so it's made to fire at closer quarters than a long bow, but this also means that it can shoot its arrows harder and stronger."

"I can see…" Lunatic said, trying to pull back the bowstring and barely moving it an inch, "You gotta be strong to use this thing."

"Is this accurate?" TL asked.

"Yup." Shire answered, "From about twenty feet, you can kill just about anything."

The testing was on as Fipp took a fifteen-foot distance, knocked an arrow and pulled back the taut string. He strained, but managed to do it before aiming. He let the arrow fly and in less than a second, it had buried itself deep into a wooden target.

Sgt. Reynol went in to inspect the damage and took a measure of how deep the arrow buried itself into the target. "Well…it buried itself at least six inches into the wood. That's pretty deep for a projectile weapon…"

"Well, what do you expect?" Shire asked, "This is the weapon that took down Boromir. Speaking of which, how 'bout we show you what it does to a human body?"

"Bring it on…" TL challenged.

_To test the Short Bow's effect on a living body, Fipp takes aim at a ballistics gel torso; the same density as human flesh._

"Three…two…one…GO!" TL called.

Fipp fired an arrow at the torso's ribcage. The projectile whistled through the air and lodged itself right between the torso's ribs. Fipp quickly knocked another arrow, firing to hit the torso in the forehead. One final arrow and Fipp fired to hit the torso right in the abdomen.

_Sgt. Reynol goes in to assess the damage…_

"Hm…from what I can tell, these are all kill shots." He informed, "The first arrow here actually fractured a rib before puncturing an area just above the heart. The second arrow, one doesn't have to be a genius to see it killed him."

"Why?" Dez asked.

"It's the center mass of the face." Ray explained, "That's the no-reflex kill zone. If you hit someone there, they won't even flex as they fall down dead. And the third one…" Ray had to remove the arrow and insert a finger to show the damage, "This injury would have reached the intestines or liver, spill juices, and the enemy would probably remain conscious for only a few seconds."

"But that bow's so short…" Dez argued, almost laughing, "We'll be in your face before you even fire that thing and its range is only twenty feet at most."

"Say what you will, dragon-boy." Shire stated, "You have the fear that only your hilt will hit an Uruk, but we'll be absolutely sure that if we hit, you'll get hurt."

"What he says is the truth." TL agreed, "In terms of punching power and accuracy, I give the edge to the bow."

_The edge goes to the Uruk-hai with the short bow._

--

_So far, the match is almost one-sided in a battle between Uruk-hai and Ra'zac._

_The Ra'zac armor couldn't stand against all the Uruk weapons, and its weapons couldn't do much harm to the savage orc._

_But the Ra'zac have a special trick up their sleeve that could turn the match their way._

"THIS is a Ra'zac's secret weapon." Dez said, holding up a bottle of a clear, water-like liquid, "They made this chemical themselves and, I guarantee you that an Uruk won't be expecting this."

_The Ra'zac strike with the most unexpected weapon in their arsenal…_

_Seithr Oil: a lethal chemical compound used for assassination. Ra'zacs would lace their weapons with it to add more punch or spread it on mattresses to kill their victims in their sleep._

Seithr Oil:  
Size: Variable  
Substance: Plant Oil, Glass  
Range: 5ft (sprayed) 20ft (thrown)

"THIS is the ace in the hole, Uruk boys." Dez announced, "Seithr Oil."

"So, what does this stuff do? Care to extrapolate?" TL asked.

"This stuff burns away at living tissue." Dez answered, "It could get past armor and eat away at the enemy. Once it enters a living bloodstream, it's only a matter of time before death comes."

"So, how would you use this as a weapon?" Lunatic asked.

"Our first option would be to uncork it and spray the contents on the enemy." Ranger answered, "Secondly, we'll just throw the bottle at you and let the acid do its work."

_The first test: Dez takes aim at a pig carcass with the splash technique of Seithr Oil._

"Ready, Dez?" TL called.

"I'm ready…" Dez said, uncorking the cordial.

"Three…two…one…GO!"

Dez quickly moved the open cordial in a slashing movement and the oil raced out in an arc shape to splash all over the pig's midsection. In just a few seconds, the pig's skin had turned raw and red. And to make things more interesting, the shade of red was getting deeper.

_The Seithr Oil does immediate burn damage, but what will really happen in time? After putting on protective gloves and goggles, Sgt. Reynol digs deeper._

Ray, now clad in goggles and rubber gloves, inspected the wound. "No words can describe the devastation of this weapon. First off, it's eating away at this flesh very quickly. If this hit, like, the leg or arm, then that limb would be useless. If it hit the had or torso, then the enemy's down."

"Well, how 'bout I do a little more to prove my point?" Dez asked, "I'll show you the shatter technique on a pig wearing an Uruk helmet."

_Feeling confident, Dez takes up tactic two with a pig wearing a helmet. Dezblade takes aim with a fresh bottle…_

Dez held a bottle of Seithr Oil in hand, then tossed it at the helmet. The bottle shattered on contact with the metal surface and the liquid splashed in through the eyeholes and beneath the nose guard.

A few seconds later, Ray came in and inspected the damage. "First off, the liquid would have hit the eyes and mouth area. He would be blind and melting from the inside out, but the helmet…" Reynol almost laughed in awe, "It's almost like it's unscathed."

_The Seithr Oil sears the pig's skin, but does nothing to the armor. Is this a disadvantage?_

"Normally, this would be a sort of disadvantage, but one has to take in that armor does NOT cover everything." Ray informed, "If that oil gets in through a joint or gap, the Uruk could be immobilized or fatally injured.

_But Team Uruk claims to have a weapon to protect them from Seithr Oil…and as lethal as their own swords._

"If a Ra'zac throws that oil stuff at ME, I'm gonna use my shield, block it, and then impale him." Shire stated, "It's as simple as that."

_The Uruk Shield: A massive slab of metal with two lethal spikes on the bottom end, made just as much for offense as it was defense._

Shield:  
Size: 2ft wide, 3ft long  
Weight: 10lbs  
Substance: Iron

"As one can tell, This shield was used for a variety of moves." Shire said, an Uruk shield strapped to his arm, "You can hold it width-wise to block for almost your whole body or you can hold it length-wise to use as an attack."

"There are two methods of attack for an Uruk's shield." Shire went on, "I can either impale my enemy with these spikes, or I can smash them across the face with the broad surface."

"Well, let's take a look at both attacks. We got the equipment to do so, so let's get on with it." TL said, leading them to another part of the room.

_The first test is the smash attack; Shire takes aim at a dummy rigged with pressure sensors._

"Three…two…one…GO!"

Shire pulled back his arm, then broad the front of his shield smashing into the dummy's midsection with a loud "thud". TL went over to the computer, then whistled.

"Huh. Not a bad hit…" the hedgehog said, "From what I've gathered, that would knock anyone down and, should it hit the head, I think it could be a kill shot. All-in-all, it's a stunning blow, not a killing blow."

"How about I show you the OTHER method of attack, then?" Shire challenged.

_Now for the thrust attack…_

Shire pulled the shield back, baring the wicked spikes at the shield's lower end and, when the word was given, he let loose a punch with the shield. The spikes impaled the dummy, shredding whatever was in its way.

_Sgt. Reynol looks where the shield landed and the damage is unsurmountable…_

"If he had been alive, this guy would be pinned to whatever was behind him and bleed out in just a few minutes." Ray explained, "Just that one thrust ruptured vital organs from intestines to stomach and even the bladder and the base of the spine."

_Both Ra'zac and Uruk's special weapons pack lethal punch, but which one gets the edge?_

"I'm going with the Shield this time." Lunatic answered, "It can protect you and deal a deadly blow to the thin-armored Ra'zac all in one go."

"Shield vs. Seithr Oil? Seithr Oil wins." TL answered, "It can get past the Uruk's armor and render it immobile in minutes."

_With the votes tied, the ball is now in Reynol's court…_

"The shield surprised me in the fact that it can be used so effectively. But Seithr Oil is not like any weapon; it goes past armor like water, slips through the gaps, and will render this Uruk immobile on contact."

_With Ray's word, the Ra'zac gets the edge in Special Weapons._

_--_

_The testing is now complete, and now it's time to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior; silent, tactical Ra'zac or savage, armor-plated Uruk-hai?_

_We tested four Ra'zac weapons: The Leafblade Sword, Twin Knives, Throwing Dagger, and Seithr Oil._

_We also tested four Uruk weapons: The Cleaver, Spear, Short Bow, and Battle Shield._

_In close-quarter combat, the Uruk cleaver smashed through the Ra'zac's leaf-blade sword._

"This cleaver is massive and designed to smash through any armor it's swung at, whether it be chain mail, plate armor, or the exoskeleton of the Ra'zac." Ray stated, "Edge goes to the Uruk."

_Edge: Uruk-Hai_

_In mid-range weapons, the Ra'zac pitted their Twin Knives against the Uruk's Spear…_

"The spear is powerful," Lunatic admitted, "But their precision and short point makes it hard to handle. The Twin Knives are far more versatile and don't need such precision to kill."

_Edge: Ra'zac_

_When attacking from a distance, the Uruk out-fired the Ra'zac Throwing Dagger with their Short Bow._

"The throwing dagger is precise, but there's still the fifty-fifty chance that you'll only hit with the hilt. The short bow doesn't have that problem, so edge to the bow."

_Edge: Uruk-Hai_

_Finally, the two pitted their special weapons against each other: the Ra'zac Seithr Oil against the Uruk-Hai Shield._

"The shield is impressive, but the Seithr Oil KICKS BUTT. It got past the armor and began eating away at the monster beneath. For that reason, the Ra'zac takes this round."

_Edge: Ra'zac_

_With the weapon tests complete, Lunatic uploads the battle data into a computer developed by Slitherine Studios to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior._

_Intellect…_

(A Ra'zac spreads Seithr Oil on a mattress, exits quickly, then listens outside as a woman shrieks in agony from inside)

_Versus Savagery…_

(An Uruk springs off a rock, then wrestles an innocent Rohan to the ground before brutally killing him.)

_Swiftness…_

(A Ra'zac clashes swords with a man before outmaneuvering him and slashing him across the neck with one of the twin knives)

_Versus Force…_

(An Uruk springs into battle, then swings its sword in a wide arc, carving down three Rohan soldiers)

"Well, here we go. Who's deadlier? Ra'zac or Uruk?" Lunatic asked, then pressed a key on his computer.

--the fight—

Along a long road through the wood, a cloaked Ra'zac traveled with weapons on its belt and a sword in its hand. As it reached the edge of a clearing, it froze as it met a horrifying sight.

Just ten meters away stood a tall, menacing figure. The figure was over six feet tall, covered in armor, and had a mouth full of sharp, predatorial teeth. A helmet hid its other facial features, and a broad shield was strapped to its arm.

The Ra'zac tentatively reached for something beneath its cloak…too late. The Uruk had already noticed, raised up a spear, and unleashed a bloodcurdling roar. It marched forward a few paces, then took out its short bow and knocked an arrow. After pulling back the taut string, he let the arrow (which was over a foot long) go flying at its target.

The Ra'zac lurched forward as the arrow lodged itself in its shoulder. Hissing in pain, the Ra'zac reached forward and pulled the arrow out before heading straight for the Uruk, the throwing dagger raised over its head. By the time he had crossed half the distance, he released the short blade.

The Uruk was not worried at all…if Uruks COULD feel worried, that is. A simple raise of its shield was enough to deflect the twirling blade and embed it in the ground.

Taking a spear in hand, the Uruk charged, roaring like an enraged bull. When he had closed the distance, he thrust with his spear only to miss the Ra'zac by a mile. The Ra'zac simply ducked to the right, then jumped to land a kick in the Uruk's chest. The beast staggered back, then watched as his enemy popped the leaf-blade sword's tip into the ground and pull out a pair of blades over two feet long.

The Uruk and Ra'zac circled each other, then the Uruk made its move. It thrust with the spear, but when he reached the end of the thrust, he spun with the spear and tried to slash the Ra'zac with that arc. The Ra'zac swiftly evaded, then took a swing with one of its twin knives only to meet a sharp "clang" as it hit the Uruk's readied shield.

The Uruk suddenly swung its arm and brought its shield smashing into the Ra'zac's front. The Ra'zac screeched as it hit the ground, but rolled as the Uruk tried to impale him. The spear lodged itself in the ground and the Ra'zac immediately took a slash at the Uruk.

The swipe was almost ineffective, for it slid off the Uruk's breastplate and left a scratch on the Uruk's underarm. The Uruk grunted in surprise, then abandoned its spear to reach out, grab the Ra'zac's shoulder and with its free hand, land a solid punch across the Ra'zac's birdlike face.

The Ra'zac's exoskeleton protected it from the blow, but the force was still enough to send it staggering back a step or two. It swung again with one of its knives only to hit the shield, but before the Uruk could swing it again, the Ra'zac had moved aside to evade the charge.

The Uruk, wanting to kill his enemy now and then, reached to his belt and pulled out its traditional weapon: the Cleaver.

The Ra'zac readied its knives, then met the Uruk head-on in a clash of blades.

The twin knives shattered on contact with the humongous force and the Ra'zac stared in shock before making a retreat to get its own signature weapon. It took up the Leafblade Sword and readied itself for the oncoming orc.

The two met in a clash of steel. The Uruk's strikes didn't shatter the Leafblade Sword thanks to the Leafblade's stronger metal and structure. So, it appeared the two were evenly matched…until the Ra'zac met a complication; the shield.

The Uruk would block swift strikes with its shield before launching a stunning strike from its cleaver. The Ra'zac's sword could handle it, but its body could not. Each heavy strike cost it all-too-needed strength and stamina. It was almost like getting hit with a heavy club over and over again.

The Ra'zac pulled back slightly, then readied its special weapon. It was TIME to end this…

The Ra'zac pulled out a glass cordial filled with a watery substance, then lobbed it at the Uruk…only to see it shatter on the broad shield.

The Uruk looked its shield over, then shrugged it off and charged with all its might. The Ra'zac swiftly parried a strike from its sword and swung down on the Uruk's helmeted head. The helmet took the hit and saved the beast, but flew right off, revealing the inhuman face of the savage orc.

The Uruk, now madder than a berserk elephant, charged with its shield in front of it, showing every intent to kill this thing. The Ra'zac stepped aside, then aimed to hack the Uruk in the back, but was met with the shield once more. As it staggered, the Uruk turned, then slammed the shield's spiked end into the Ra'zac's midsection.

The Ra'zac squealed like a stuck pig as the long spikes punched right through its exoskeleton. With a movement of its foot, the Uruk-Hai kicked the Ra'zac down, got on top of it, then raised its sword and smashed the broad side down on the Ra'zac's neck.

The Uruk-Hai leaned over, picked up the Ra'zac's severed head, then unleashed a roar to the heavens.

--

Winner: Uruk-Hai

"I ran the test a thousand times and, to my surprise, the Ra'zac won just over thirty-six percent of the time." Lunatic said, shock VERY apparent on his face, "Its deadliest weapon was the Seithr Oil, but it didn't secure enough wins to turn the match around."

_Ra'zac Kills…  
__Leafblade Sword: 92  
__Twin Knives: 14  
__Throwing Dagger: 32  
__Seithr Oil: 230  
__All-in-all kills: 368_

_The Uruk-Hai won almost sixty-five percent of the time, their deadliest weapon being their massive shield._

_Uruk-Hai Kills…  
__Cleaver: 190  
__Short Bow: 76  
__Spear: 44  
__Battle Shield: 322  
__All-in-all kills: 632_

"The Ra'zac had good skills, but their weapons and armor were a little TOO light to stand up to the heavy, sturdy weapons of the Uruk-Hai." Ray said, expressing his belief, "If the Ra'zac had come in better armed, I think he would have stood a chance."

"I'm surprised because, I actually thought the Ra'zac was going to win." TL admitted, "But after seeing that all the Uruk weapons could hurt the Ra'zac, I found that only ONE Ra'zac weapon could fatally injure the Uruk-Hai."

"Perhaps we relied a little TOO heavily on surprise attack and stealth…" Dez said, being a good sport about the whole thing.

"I respect you Ra'zac." Shire stated, "But when it comes to fighting forces, an assassin can't stand against one of the greatest fighting forces in Middle Earth."

(An Uruk-Hai stands atop a rock outcropping before unleashing a roar and raising its sword into the air.)

_With apologies to Inheritance Cycle fans everywhere…_


	7. Drow Elf vs Yuuzhan Vong

**A Drow Elf**

(A black-skinned, white-haired elf takes a sword before spinning it and taking a slash)

On-edge, trained warriors with lifetimes' worth of experience in combat.

(A drow elf leaps out to attack an unsuspecting gnome, impaling it on a knife.)

**A Yuuzhan Vong Warrior**

(A hideous, inhuman creature snarls as he swings its long, staff weapon)

Vicious servant of a bloodthirsty cult that brought the galaxy to its knees.

(A Yuuzhan Vong clashes its staff with a Wookiee before knocking it over and impaling it with a snarl)

_WHO IS DEADLIEST?_

_To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first century science, we see what happens when the two warriors go toe-to-toe._

_No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is…_

_**The Deadliest Warrior**_

The fight club, once again, was hustling and bustling with activity. Two warriors clashed swords in swift, precise strikes while two different warriors pushed against each other with odd staffs of sorts.

_Today, in the fight club, fantasy and science-fiction are about to collide. To test their abilities, we've assembled a team of scientists, doctors, a computer expert, and warriors all to simulate a fight between two of the most notorious warriors of their world…_

_A Drow Elf: trained warriors centuries in Underdark's making…_

_VS…_

_A Yuuzhan Vong Warrior: religious extremists who led their conquest against the galaxy._

**Drow Elf:  
****Height: 5'5"  
****Weight: 135lbs  
****Gear: 20lbs  
****Armor: Chain Mail  
****Homeland: Menzoberransan**

**Yuuzhan Vong:  
****Height: 5'9"  
****Weight: 190lbs  
****Gear: 20lbs  
****Armor: Crab-plate  
****Homeworld: Yuuzhan'tar**

A white hedgehog inspected a pressure sensor in his hand, then applied force to it. It was working like it should.

_Biomedical engineer, __**TLSoulDude**__, will measure the forces that these weapons will unleash._

"For this matchup, we have warriors from both spectrums of geekdom." TL said, jokingly, "One's from a fantasy world while the other's from a sci-fi world. Can't wait to see what happens…"

A man in military getup and a black beret studied a few ballistics gel body parts to make sure they were substantial. They were even better…

_Weapons expert and medical man, __**Sergeant Reynol**__, will gauge the damage the two warriors will cause_

"These weapons are not only of different classes, they're also of different worlds." Ray explained, "I'm having a hard time on choosing who will win because of such different weapons."

A young ninja with spiky, red hair typed a few bits of data into a laptop.

_Computer wiz, __**Lunatic 121**__, will input battle data into a special program made to simulate fight scenes._

"None of these guys know what they're up against because their current opponents are so alien to each other." Lunatic explained, "This is gonna be a unique fight indeed."

_The battle data will be used to simulate a fight between a Drow Elf and a Yuuzhan Vong in order to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior._

_On the science-fiction side; two experts are confident that these fantasy creatures will be crushed by the Yuuzhan force._

An inhuman female with violet tattoos, odd piercings, and red eye sacs felt the smoothness of a staff. Judging by how she put it down, one could tell that she was satisfied with the weapon's condition.

_Master shaper, __**Nei Rin**__, knows Yuuzhan Vong weapons inside and out. Having made several of the Yuuzhan bio-technology weapons, she knows how a few work herself._

"The Drow Elves stand no chance against the Yuuzhan Vong." Nei stated, "During the invasion, they viewed war, pain, and body sacrifices as status symbols. And what do they have? Fancy clothes and shiny weapons."

Another Yuuzhan Vong took a swing with an amphistaff, testing how well it would work in his hands. This one had long, black hair, was obviously male, and had a sick, skeletal smile on his face.

_**Tsavong Lah**__ is a Yuuzhan combat veteran. In a society where sacrifice means everything, Tsavong achieved great status after proving himself as a powerful and efficient warrior._

"Drow elves?" Tsavong asked in a low voice, "No. They're too soft. They may be smart, but if it comes to battle, they don't understand the glory and rage of it. They'll hide and wait for their unsuspecting enemies rather than fight head-on."

_In the distant parts of the universe, the Yuuzhan Vong emerged almost from nowhere to catch the New Republic completely off-guard. And after more than twenty years of war, they did what the Sith could not: brought down the Republic._

"The Republic stood against us, the Yeveth stood against us, Ithor found something out about us; we beat them all into the dirt." Tsavong boasted, "NO ONE could beat us, especially those metal-wielding lepers you call 'advanced' races. If none of them could beat our warriors, how could a Drow?"

_Team Yuuzhan senses victory…but so can Team Drow._

An ornately-dressed, bald Drow balanced a knife on his finger, then took a better hold to throw it.

_**Jarlaxle **__is a Drow outcast from the main society. Being leader of an outcast group, he's familiar with the weapons they wield and the tactics these combat-efficient elves use to gain victory._

"We Drows pride ourselves in our total warrior mindset." Jarlaxle informed, tapping his head with his index finger, "We are warriors twenty-four-seven and we think these things out rather than just be mindless monsters like a Yuuzhan Vong."

Another Drow, this one with a full head of white hair and well-toned muscles, took up a heavy mace.

_Lieutenant to Jarlaxle, __**Kimmuriel Oblodra**__, is a well-trained and hard-nosed Drow warrior. Efficient in both magic and arms, Kimmuriel is no stranger to combat._

"Yuuzhan Vong fight once a blue moon." Kimmuriel stated, "We are on-edge and ready for anything. If an ambush can't stop us, how will a full-on assault?"

_Heralding a deep underground race, the Drow are long-lived warriors 'round the clock. A combination of combat skill and timed ambushes make them a force to be reckoned with, but this has come at the cost of their trust._

"The reason Drows rarely work in numbers is because they suspect that there could be a traitor amongst them." Kimmuriel explained, "A single Drow elf is usually enough to hold off a small task force. A single enemy is no match for them."

_In close-combat weapons, Drow Elves struck with a nasty weapon…_

_The Long Sword: thirty inches of mithril-based cutting power._

Long Sword:  
Size: 30-35in  
Weight: 4lbs  
Substance: Mithril

"The Long Sword is possibly a Drow's soul weapon. It's swift, efficient, and DEADLY." Jarlaxle said, holding a sword up to TL and Lunatic.

"So, what kind of attack patterns do you plan on using with a weapon like this?" Lunatic asked, making to take the sword, but Jarlaxle merely pulled it out of his reach.

"This is primarily a slashing weapon and it allows you to get extremely close to your enemy, unlike most swords where you need room to move."

_To back up his statement, Jarlaxle sharpens his blade to take out a ballistics gel torso…_

Jarlaxle stepped up to the plate, then readied his blade. On getting the "go" signal, he began to slash with his blade wildly. And to add even more stun for the experts, the Drow was surprisingly fluent in his movement and graceful in his footwork. In just five seconds, he had slashed every side of the torso: front, sides, and back.

"Okay, lemme just say that these wounds are not only deadly, but they're symmetrically beautiful." Reynol said, inspecting the wound, "This slash here on the back, would scrape the spine, while this other one on the front will rupture internal organs like the liver, intestines, and maybe the lung."

Jarlaxle turned to Kimmuriel and said something positive in their native language.

_High-speed footage also shows that Jarlaxle is fluent in his movement._

"It seems your wounds weren't the only impressive things, but so are your moves." Lunatic said, impressed with how well Jarlaxle had been moving, "It's almost like saying 'I'm gonna kill you and I'm gonna dance while I do it'."

_But the Yuuzhan Vong are not buying it._

"Your moves are graceful, but it's ridiculous." Tsavong shot down, "The turning and spinning is distracting, but not very efficient. If you spin like that in front of me, I'll break your neck."

"Well, what are YOU planning to do that's better?" Kimmuriel asked.

"We will break you with THIS." Tsavong stated, holding up a staff weapon.

_The Yuuzhan Vong counter with a traditional weapon in their arsenal…_

_The Amphistaff: five feet long, it's deadly, adaptable, and able to block a vibroblade._

Amphistaff:  
Length: 5ft  
Weight: 4lbs  
Substance: Living creature

Nei Rin walked in, a strange, serpent-like creature coiled around her arm. "This, humans and elves, is called an amphistaff." She held out her arm as the serpent slithered down her arm. Once it reached its full length, it stiffened and straightened to turn into some kind of staff.

"This weapon is adaptable because it has these sharp spines down its back, its fangs can turn it into a spear, it can be used as a whip, and if pressure is applied to the right place, it can spray deadly venom." Nei Rin went on, "It'll either seep into the wounds he already has or blind him by getting in his eyes."

"Is it a reliable weapon? Will it break a lot?" Lunatic asked.

"No. It doesn't break at all." Nei Rin answered.

_The Yuuzhan Vong take aim at their first target: a combat dummy rigged with pressure sensors._

"GO!"

With that one word, Tsavong took a swing at the dummy's shoulder with his amphistaff. With a subtle press on the amphistaff's neck area, it released a spray of some sort of chemical.

"So, what do we have here?" Ray said, inspecting the torso with a blacklight, "The venom definitely got in your enemy's face. Is the venom acidic?"

"Certainly." Tsavong answered.

"So, he's burning up and in agony, and based on the pressure test from the strike of the amphistaff, we have enough force to break someone's collarbone."

_Team Drow isn't buying it…_

"First of all, you have to ask how far your little snake can spit." Jarlaxle stated, "Secondly, WE have chain mail on. I want you to do something similar, but with chain mail."

"Certainly." Nei Rin said, accepting the challenge.

_The challenge: Yuuzhan amphistaff vs. Drow chainmail complete with ballistics gel head._

"Ready, Tsavong?" Lunatic asked.

"Yes."

"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!"

Tsavong took a thrust with the amphistaff's fanged, spear-like front, actually piercing the chain mail shirt. He jerked it out, then took a step back before his staff went oddly limp to turn into a whip-like weapon. He used THIS form to lash the enemy's unarmored face with the spikes dotting the amphistaff's spine and neck.

"Alright, I must say that I'm surprised by the fact that you pierced the chain mail, but then you followed up with that whiplash, which punctured the face in several places and dislocated his jawbone."

"Last I checked, Drows don't cover their faces, so if we can't pierce your torso, we'll just take your head off." Tsavong stated.

"You really think we Drow will just stand there and let you defeat us?" Jarlaxle asked, "We'll be on the move and hacking you down while we're at it."

_Both Drow and Yuuzhan Vong have lethal close-quarter weapons, but which one gets the advantage?_

"I'm going to have to give the edge to the Yuuzhan Vong's amphistaff. It's longer than the long sword and it's a multifunctional weapon: it can be a quarterstaff, a spear, a whip, and even a hidden gun. A simple sword can't compare to that."

_For mid-range weapons, the edge goes to the Yuuzhan Vong._

_

* * *

_

_In a battle between a tactical Drow Elf and a bloodthirsty Yuuzhan Vong Warrior, anything can happen. Their tactics are worlds apart…_

_Drow rely on ambush and specialized tactics to defeat their enemies…_

"You could have five guys behind you, ten guys, even fifty guys." Jarlaxle boasted, "But if you're ambushed by Drows…you're done. If you're coming at us, full-force, GREAT. We'll use that opportunity to rip your throat open."

_Yuuzhan Vong prefer all-out destruction and sheer strength to crush their enemies…_

"You will not be prepared for the sheer ferocity of our warriors." Nei Rin pointed out, "We're not going to ambush you, we're going to hunt you down and destroy you. So, hide all you want, we're still going to find you and wipe you out."

_Yuuzhan Vong and Drow Elves both enjoyed close-quarter combat, and both knew just how to get the job done…_

"This is a Drow's favorite weapon." Jarlaxle said, "You Yuuzhan Vong want to get up close and personal? You're gonna take some of these…" The Drow exile held up a long, dagger-like weapon up to emphasize his point.

_The Long Knife: Combat knives that are lengthened for maximum reach and efficiency against swords._

Long Knife:  
Length: 2.5ft  
Weight: 2lbs  
Substance: Mithril

_Drows carried up to five of these versatile weapons: they used them to cut bonds, slash and stab their enemies, and the best could throw their long knives with pinpoint accuracy._

"So, these are the long knives…" Ray said, holding a knife in one hand.

"Yes, because of the Mithril used to make it, this is a light blade. And this thing is also versatile, able to be used in many situations." Kimmuriel explained, "If you get in too close, we'll slit your throat or run you through."

_To drive home his point, Kimmuriel is given five gel targets and five knives. Just one catch: one target is clad in a Yuuzhan Vong crab-plate piece of armor._

"GO!"

Kimmuriel took the first long knife, then threw it at the furthest target. The blade whistled through the air, lodging its blade in the pectoral muscle. He then ran in close to the targets and proceeded to nail them with a different knife: one slash to the throat, one thrust to the shoulder, and one stab in the gut.

But then came the surprise: Kimmuriel made to stab the dummy with crab armor…but the minute the point of the knife came down on the armor, it slid off.

For the first time ever, Tsavong actually snorted. "Pathetic." He stated, "If your weapons cannot pierce our armor, we will use that opportunity to take your limbs off."

"And what do you plan on doing that with?" Jarlaxle asked.

"This." Tsavong answered, flexing his hand. With the gruesome sound of bones bending, a pair of sharp claws emerged from his knuckles.

"WHOA!" Lunatic said in surprise, "Take it easy, Wolverine…"

_The Yuuzhan Vong's answer to the Drow's knives…_

_The Hand-Claw: A pair of bone-affecting parasites that they say can hack through steel._

Hand Claw:  
Size: 8in  
Weight: 1lb  
Substance: Exoskeleton of parasite

"The anatomy of a Yuuzhan Vong's hand claw is that it's a parasite." Nei Rin informed, "It merges with the bones of your knuckles and you can sheathe and unsheathe them at will."

"Are they strong claws? I've seen guys pack claws and they can tend to break." TL warned.

"These claws can carve through solid steel." Nei Rin answered.

"I'd like to see that…" TL challenged.

_To see if the Yuuzhan Vong hand claw is as powerful as they say it is, Tsavong first tries to hack through steel pipes…_

The team set up five vertical pipes, then let TL explain the objective.

"So, your goal is to do a horizontal slash and see how many pipes you can get through in that single swipe." TL explained.

"Challenge accepted." Tsavong Lah said with a nod.

_Tsavong takes aim…_

"Three…two…one…GO!"

Tsavong roared, then slashed at the row of pipes. His claw sheared right through three on his first strike, creating small, but noticeable, scratches in the remaining pipes due to the falling of the slash arc.

"So, that's three pipes you've cut through. It means you have a pretty good arc going, but now it's time for test two." Reynol said, inspecting the sheared metal.

_The second test…Tsavong is given a sheet of steel to represent the door of a vehicle or wall of a hallway._

"GO!"

With another roar, Tsavong slashed horizontally, creating two deep gashes in the steel sheet. And with another slash, this one vertical, Tsavong created a hole in the steel.

"Wow…" Ray said, impressed, "It does not take a medical genius to see what this could do to a human being. I can even see you from the other side of the sheet." To emphasize his point, Sgt. Reynol went behind the sheet and peered through the hole to Tsavong Lah's midsection.

"And if that is steel, then just imagine what this will do to you, Drow elf scum." Tsavong boasted.

"I suppose you'll be telling me it's a heat-seeking missile, next." Jarlaxle said, jokingly.

_We've seen both Drow and Yuuzhan Vong's choices of close-quarter weapons, but which one gets the edge._

"The Hand Claw, I'll admit impressed me with its shearing power, but it's a one-dimensional weapon. You can only slash with it, whereas the long knives are multi-functional weapons. You'll see the hand claws coming from any direction, but the knives are unpredictable AND they add up as distance weapons."

_It's a close call, but the Drow Elf gets the edge in close-quarter weapons._

* * *

_In terms of fighting, both Yuuzhan Vong and Drow Elf show great devotion in what they fight for._

_A Yuuzhan Vong fought for the glory of warring gods…_

"In our culture, we see injury and sacrifice as status symbols." Nei Rin explained, "It is common to see Yuuzhan Vong that have battle-scarred faces or that lack of an arm or a leg. They did this for our gods and that's the greatest thing you can do for our society."

_A Drow Elf fought for the vengeance of his people…_

"We Drow were forced underground thousands of years ago, and that distilled a hatred in their hearts. They trusted no one: not dwarves, not gnomes, not humans, not even their own kind. And when we did emerge from underground, we would show no mercy to those who discovered us."

_For distance-fighting, Drows developed a special weapon that could hit with precision and yet be concealed…_

_The Hand-Crossbow: a pistol-sized distance weapon that can fire armor-piercing bolts._

Hand-Crossbow:  
Size:1.3ft  
Weight: 3lbs  
Ammunition: Iron bolt  
Range: 50ft

"Ooh…" Lunatic said as Jarlaxle handed him a crossbow, "The hand-crossbow…"

"This was developed by the Drow. Unlike normal crossbows, it's easy to carry, hold up, and can actually fire pretty far. There's poison on the tip of this weapon, so it matters not where you hit, the target's gonna die." Jarlaxle informed, "The one quirk to this thing, however, is that it takes a few seconds to reload."

"Well, if this is such a good weapon, why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" Lunatic challenged.

_To test the hand-crossbow's accuracy, Jarlaxle is given three bolts and a ballistics gel torso with crab-plate armor on the chest._

"Alright, Jarlaxle, your job will be to hit the soft, unarmored spots, then try to pierce this crab armor." TL explained.

"Bring it on." Jarlaxle accepted.

Jarlaxle loaded the first bolt onto his pistol-sized crossbow, then aimed at the torso and fired. The bolt whistled through the air, then pelted the gel torso right in the collarbone: just below the crab-plate's neck armor.

Round two went just as fast as the last one and buried itself right between the dummy's eyes.

And finally, Jarlaxle aimed for the crab-plate armor just above the heart. He pulled the trigger and let the bolt fly…

The bolt hit the armor, but snapped on contact, leaving the arrowhead lodged in a tiny crack in the chestplate.

"Oh, we've got trouble here…" TL said, shaking his head.

_The hand-crossbow cracks the Yuuzhan Vong armor…but doesn't penetrate deep enough to kill the enemy._

"That bolt barely penetrated the armor, but there's no damage here." Ray said, inspecting the gel torso, "There's not even a scratch underneath…"

_As expected, the Yuuzhan Vong aren't impressed._

"You can't pierce our armor with that?" Tsavong Lah asked, "If you can't do that, then we can use this to do what you least suspect…"

_The Yuuzhan Vong counter with a stealth weapon that few would expect…_

_The Plaeryin Bol: disguised as a Yuuzhan Vong's eye, it can spray a deadly venom up to ten yards._

Plaeryin Bol:  
Size: 3in diameter  
Weight: under 1lb  
Ammunition: Venom  
Range: 30ft

"Experts…this is the Plaeryin Bol." Nei Rin said, holding out a small orb no bigger than a ping-pong ball, "If a Yuuzhan Vong has lost an eye, they can have this parasite implanted into their socket. It allows them to see like a regular eye, but it has this little feature…it can spray venom in your enemy's wounds, eyes, or mouth."

"Is it an accurate weapon?" Lunatic asked.

"From fifteen feet, you can hit anything." Nei Rin explained.

_To test the plaeryin bol's toxic spray, a biomechanical eye socket is set up in front of a foam torso._

"So, to spray the venom, you just have to squint one eye when your opponent is close enough and the rest will be easy to spy." Nei Rin explained.

"So, it's an ambush weapon and if he gets a faceful of this stuff, what'll happen?" TL asked.

"He'll be blind, dying as the poison rushes through his bloodstream, or paralyzed if it hits a gash in the limb." Nei Rin answered.

After getting a little bit of distance, TL pressed a lever designed to make this biomechanical eye "blink". When it was squinted, the parasite shot a spray of yellow venom at the victim's face. The yellow substance hit the torso full-on.

_Our experts go in to assess the accuracy of this weapon…_

Taking a blacklight, Lunatic examined the torso's face. "Yeah, you're definitely getting some of this in their face: the eyes, the mouth, and the nose." Lunatic said with a nod.

"And provided that this is lethal enough, this guy could be down with that one faceshot." Ray said, "If it's acidic and it's burning him, he'll be stunned enough for you to attack him."

"But I do have this to point out: in order to shoot this thing, you have to squint one eye so much that it's almost closed." TL added, "That action lowers your depth perception and throws off your aim."

In a battle, can the Yuuzhan Vong use a weapon that may give him a disadvantage?

"The pang for both crossbow and eye parasite is that they need time to reload. Odds are that they'll only get one shot in this battle. But my all-in-all edge goes to the crossbow. It's accurate and had almost double the range of the plaeryin bol." Reynol pointed out, "And you don't suffer sensory deprivation by using it like the bol. Edge to the Drow."

_The Drow Elf's hand-crossbow gets the edge in long-range weapons._

* * *

_Dedicated Drow vs. Savage Yuuzhan Vong: who will be the Deadliest Warrior?_

"Drow Elves stand no chance against us." Tsavong stated, "You have potential to be good warriors, but you don't revel in war like we do, nor do you possess the weapons to take us down."

"What is a Yuuzhan Vong as a warrior?" Kimmuriel asked, "A savage, bloodthirsty beast. Does he think before he fights? No. Does he plan things out? No. Does he stand a chance? Hardly."

_In battle, both Vong and Drow packed nasty special weapons. And the Drow pack a weapon no one would expect: magic._

"This'll keep 'em down…" Kimmuriel said with a smirk, holding up a small orb the size of a pool ball.

_The Orb of Darkness: the Drow's special surprise weapon designed to block out enemy senses…_

Orb of Darkness:  
Size: 5in diameter  
Weight: 1lb  
Substance: Dark Magic

"Humans, this is the Orb of Darkness." Kimmuriel said, holding up the small orb, "All you do is give it a squeeze and it engulfs your enemy in sense-depriving shadow."

"This is certainly a different type of weapon. And it's not one to test on something dead or inanimate." Ray informed, "We're going to have to use a live human test for this thing. Put away the pigs and gel torsos…"

_For the first time in Deadliest Warrior history, we are testing on a living, breathing being. Ray steps up to the plate…_

Sgt. Reynol moved forward as Kimmuriel readied the orb in his hand.

"Ready for this?" Kimmuriel asked.

"Yeah…"

Kimmuriel activated the Orb of Darkness and everything for Sgt. Reynol went black. He couldn't see a thing, he couldn't hear his own footsteps, and he couldn't even smell the dust.

Soon after, the spell was deactivated to show that Jarlaxle was holding a knife to Reynol's neck.

"WHOA!" Ray said, stepping back a notch.

"The first thing I noticed is that, while I couldn't see, hear, or smell anything, I still kept my sense of touch." Ray explained, "I would wager that the last thing you feel with this thing would probably be a Drow's sword in your neck."

_As effective as the Drow's magic is, the Yuuzhan are not impressed._

"This is not a lethal weapon." Tsavong growled, "It's a coward's strategy. But even if you use that against us, we have one last trick."

_The Yuuzhan's response to the Orb of Darkness is their version of a miniaturized, heat-seeking missile._

Nei Rin held up what looked like a large, red-and-yellow beetle and stroked it with her feminine hand.

_The Blast Bug: the Yuuzhan Vong's secret explosive…_

Blast Bug:  
Size: 6" diameter  
Weight: 1/4lb  
Substance: Organic being

"This is a Blast Bug." Nei Rin explained, "What you do is that you throw it with a flick of your wrist."

"You mean like a ninja star?" Lunatic asked.

"Yes." Nei Rin said with a nod, "After that, the bug will spread its wings and fly towards the first sign of body heat. Then comes any Yuuzhan Vong's favorite part: it will explode."

"Well, you know the drill: this is too dangerous a weapon to test in here. Let's take it outside…" Lunatic said, packing up his stuff.

Our team heads outside where they've rigged a test site with dummies, one in the middle with an internal heater, simulating a human being.

"I've heard the Blast Bug will go towards body heat. Will it just race back to you if it senses nothing?" Ray asked.

"If it does that, it won't explode." Nei Rin explained, "We'll just catch it and throw it again."

The experts cleared as far away as they could to avoid the blast bug's sensory ability, speaking from hundreds of yards away.

"Ready, Nei Rin?" TL asked.

"Yes."

"Three…two…one…GO."

Nei Rin flicked her wrist and the Blast Bug flew away with a flitter of its wings. It immediately sensed the dummy with the heat sensor, for it landed right on the middle dummy and dug its claws into it. Another split-second later, and it exploded in a burst of fire."

_Our team inspects the damage…_

"What's interesting here is that THIS GUY seems to have exploded from the inside." Ray said, looking at how the wound had pieces sticking out, "How'd that happen."

"The Blast Bug will dig as deep as it will go with its sharp pincers and it will do it quickly before detonating." Nei Rin answered.

"So, what'd this guy die of?" Lunatic asked.

"Most likely, he died of a gaping wound from the explosion, the fire it produced on detonating, and mild fragmentation due to the exoskeleton." Ray answered, looking things over quickly.

_So, between Orb of Darkness and Blast Bug, which weapon gives their warrior the edge?_

"Weapon-wise, I'd have to give the edge to the Yuuzhan Vong. That blast bug will NOT miss with its heat-sensing ability even if you're blind and going mano-a-mano with a Drow Elf." Lunatic stated, "The Orb of Darkness, though it has potential to distract your enemy, it's not a lethal weapon."

_The point goes to the Yuuzhan Vong's Blast Bug._

_The testing is done and now is the time to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior._

_

* * *

_

In our fight club, the test results are in and it's time to decide who is deadlier in this sci-fi vs. fantasy battle…a Drow Elf or a Yuuzhan Vong Warrior?

_In mid-range combat, the Yuuzhan Vong Amphistaff went up against the Drow Elf's Long Sword…_

"The Drows impressed me with the skills used in terms of wielding their blades. But the Amphistaff, it can be a quarterstaff, a whip, a spear, and even a makeshift gun with the venom spray. Edge to the amphistaff."

(Edge: Yuuzhan Vong)

_In close-quarter combat, the Yuuzhan Vong Hand Claw was pitted against the Drow's Long Knives…_

"The Hand Claw's damage to metal was severe, but that being said, it's a one-dimensional weapon. The long knives, however, are multi-functional weapons and if there are five of these, he has multiple options."

(Edge: Drow Elf)

_In long-range weapons, both Yuuzhan Vong Plaeryin Bol and Drow Elf Hand Crossbow weren't effective against each other…_

"The Hand Crossbow is not a sniper rifle and it didn't generate enough force to pierce the Crab Plate Armor. The Yuuzhan Vong's plaeryin bol, however, seems more like a last-resort weapon: it lowers your depth perception and as long as you don't get the venom in your eyes, mouth, or bloodstream, it's not a lethal weapon."

(Edge: Drow Elf)

_Finally, our two warriors pitted their deadliest special weapons against each other: Blast Bug vs. Orb of Darkness._

"The Orb of Darkness is an effective distraction, but the damage that the Blast Bug put out was absolutely devastating. Distracted vs. Dead: gotta go with death."

(Edge: Yuuzhan Vong)

_Lunatic readies the computer to run the simulation a thousand times to find who is the Deadliest Warrior. It will be a battle of opposites…_

_Cruel Cunning…_

(A Drow waits behind a tree, then sneaks up behind an enemy and slits its throat.)

_Versus Beastly Ferocity_

_Terrifying Skill…_

(A Drow spins with its long knives to fight multiple enemies.)

_Versus Overwhelming Force_

(A Yuuzhan Vong kills a resistant soldier, then turns around and kills another.)

"With this stroke of a key, we will find out who lived, who died, and in what way…" Lunatic said, "Here we go…" And with a press of the key, the battle began.

-the fight-

Out in an open field, a Drow Elf slowly emerged from a bush, his crimson eyes scanning his terrain for any abnormality. For the moment, he saw nothing and took a few steps out. For a moment, he thought he was safe…until something came over the hill just ten meters away.

It was a hideous Yuuzhan Vong Warrior: its skull-like face and black armor made it a horrible sight to behold.

Both froze, both in each other's sights, until the Yuuzhan Vong let out an inhuman roar and began to run straight for the Drow.

The Drow backed away slightly, then slowly drew his crossbow. He aimed and fired, the projectile whistling through the air.

Said projectile struck the Yuuzhan right in the chestplate…but rather than penetrate the armor, bounced off, leaving its head stuck in the plate.

The Yuuzhan Vong looked at the spot, seeing no harm done, then roared again as it charged the Drow.

The Drow, rather than waste his life trying to reload the crossbow, holstered it and drew a long knife. When the Yuuzhan was just fifteen feet away, he pulled back to throw when the Yuuzhan spurted a strange liquid from his eye.

Not wanting to see what it would do if it hit his face, the Drow ducked away, avoiding a spray to the eyes. But when he was about to throw his Long Knife, the Yuuzhan Vong was in his face and had just unsheathed a pair of lethal looking claws.

The Drow raised his long knife to defend him, but was MORE than shocked when the claws cut so deep into his mithril blade that they wound up stuck. After a brief struggle of strength, the Drow raised a foot and kicked the Yuuzhan in the chest. But when the Yuuzhan staggered, he took the Drow with him because of his sheer size and weight.

The Yuuzhan's response was to punch the Drow in the face. THIS time, the Drow let go of his knife and the Yuuzhan retracted his claws, freeing himself of the stuck knife.

The Drow quickly flipped to his feet and pulled out another long knife before rushing the Yuuzhan Vong and jamming it into his chest. The plate armor saved the Vong's life, but the sheer force of this guy ramming into him was enough to stagger even one as big as himself.

The Yuuzhan Vong unsheathed his hand claw as the Drow came again, this time aiming for the savage alien's head. But with one swipe of the claws, the Drow immediately backed away. The claw had sheared through his leather armor and his chain mail like nothing.

Now wanting to get down and dirty, the Yuuzhan Vong sheathed his claws and held out his arm. A snake-like creature uncoiled itself from his arm until it hardened in the Yuuzhan Vong's grip: the traditional amphistaff.

The Drow, giving up on knives, drew his long sword from the sheath on his belt. Both charged with a war cry and clashed.

The amphistaff held up well against the long sword as they clashed time and time again. But as the fight unfolded, it was shown that the Vong had a distinct advantage: his weapon was longer than the Drow's and he could strike from beyond the reach of the long sword.

As they clashed weapons, the Vong brought the tail end of the amphistaff up and bunted the Drow back with it. The Drow quickly caught himself, pulled another long knife and, when the Yuuzhan Vong came in to strike again, he blocked with the sword and thrust with his knife.

The blade put a gash on the side of the Yuuzhan Vong's face, causing black blood to trickle down his face.

Ignoring the pain, the Vong took a step back, then flexed his staff, which immediately turned limp. He spun it over his head, then lashed out with it, knocking the long sword out of the Drow's hand and grazing him with the sharp spines of the staff.

The Yuuzhan Vong snarled as the Drow seemed to back away in fear. In actuality, the Drow was trying a tactical retreat while reaching into his belt. Out came an orb no bigger than a pool ball.

The Yuuzhan Vong readied himself, but was more than surprised when everything suddenly went black. At first, he thought he had died, but he could still feel and think. Stepping back and flexing his amphistaff back into its pole form, he reached for his belt and pulled something out of his own. In no time at all, the thing had flown off…

The Drow Elf had this match in the bag. Whatever weapon that Vong had couldn't match this…

He slowly snuck behind the Vong, keeping his distance to be safe from the amphistaff, then steadily reloaded a round into his hand-crossbow. After the string had been pulled back and the arrow loaded, he readied to aim…

"Readied" was the right word, for he suddenly cried out as something buried itself in his leg. He looked down to see an ornately-decorated beetle digging into his leg with its sharp pincers. And just when the thought of dislodging the beetle had entered his mind, the bug exploded in a burst of fire.

The Drow flew a full five feet in the air before landing on his back, howling in pain. His leg was almost completely taken off and the agony he was in was indescribable.

Sight returned to the Yuuzhan Vong as he heard the howling Drow and turned to see that his blast bug had worked. Rather than waste energy trying to find the Drow, he had let the Blast Bug do it for him.

The Yuuzhan Vong towered over the Drow, then raised his staff and slammed it down on the Drow's midsection. He felt it crack ribs, he heard the Drow's cry in pain…and he relished in it.

He wanted to hear it even more, so he slammed the staff down on the Drow again and again until the dark-skinned, white-haired elf moved no more. After a quick nudge to ensure his enemy was dead, the Yuuzhan Vong roared in victory. He looked down on his enemy and, in his native tongue, he spoke.

"No one can defeat us."

* * *

**Winner: Yuuzhan Vong Warrior**

"The Yuuzhan Vong won because they packed better armor and FAR more devastating weapons." Lunatic explained, "The Drow weapons, though swift and easy to wield, just couldn't stand up against such a well-armed enemy."

_Out of a thousand battles, the Yuuzhan Vong won five hundred and fifty-three times with their Amphistaff and Blast Bug._

Yuuzhan Vong kills…  
Amphistaff: 233  
Hand Claw: 72  
Plaeryin Bol: 5  
Blast Bug: 243  
All-in-all Kills: 553

_The Drows only won four hundred and forty-seven times, their deadliest weapon being the Long Sword…_

Drow kills…  
Long Sword: 240  
Long Knives: 84  
Hand Crossbow: 123  
Orb of Darkness: 0  
All-in-all Kills: 447

"Superior weaponry, superior tactics, these Yuuzhan Vong took the match." Reynol explained.

Jarlaxle looked dumbfounded at what he had seen. "Yuuzhan Vong are mindless monsters. Well, if that's what your computer says…computer's probably Yuuzhan."

"The Yuuzhan Vong required a Galactic Alliance to take them down." Tsavong said, proud of his victory, "If it took that much to take us down, how could an elf organization?"

The Yuuzhan Vong towered over the defeated Drow, then walked off to whatever business he had to tend to.

_With apologies to Farscape fans…_


	8. SHIELD vs Hellsing

**SHIELD**

(A gruff man in deep-blue uniform takes aim with an assault rifle.)

Elite, worldwide soldiers trained to take out threats on the superhuman scale.

(Several SHIELD agents storm a building, take cover from a rogue fire-wielding mutant, then open fire on him.)

**Hellsing**

(A woman in black Kevlar uniform takes a pair of pistols and aims carefully.)

Great Britain's hardcore destroyer of monsters that keep the world from destruction.

(Hellsing agents scatter across a city square, shooting vampires with silver, holy bullets.)

_WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?_

_To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first century science, we find out what happens when the two warriors go toe-to-toe._

_No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is…_

_**The Deadliest Warrior**_

In the fight club, two sets of warriors practiced hand-to-hand combat or inspected the guns that they expected to take the gold.

_In Los Angeles, California, two teams of top-notch forces are prepping for a fight to the finish. In a clash of military forces designed to take out the worst of the worst…_

_SHIELD: the unstoppable militia from the Marvel Universe…_

_VS._

_Hellsing: Great Britain's famed monster destroyers._

**SHIELD:  
****Height: 5'11"  
****Weight: 178lbs  
****Gear: 15lbs  
****Armor: Kevlar vest and helmet  
****Head: Colonel Nicholas Fury**

**Hellsing:  
****Height: 5'9"  
****Weight: 154lbs  
****Gear: 16lbs  
****Armor: Kevlar vest, Titanium helmet  
****Head: Lady Integra Hellsing**

A white hedgehog inspected a pressure sensor in his hand, then applied force to it. It was working like it should.

_Biomedical engineer, __**TLSoulDude**__, will measure the forces that these weapons will unleash._

"For this matchup, we have modern warriors fighting forces beyond human." TL said, jokingly, "And we've got Western comics against Japanese comics, so it's another geek fight…"

A man in military getup and a black beret studied a few ballistics gel body parts to make sure they were substantial. They were even better…

_Weapons expert and medical man, __**Sergeant Reynol**__, will gauge the damage the two warriors will cause_

"These forces are some of the most lethal in history." Ray explained, "I'm having a hard time on choosing who will win because of both skills."

A young ninja with spiky, red hair typed a few bits of data into a laptop.

_Computer wiz, __**Lunatic 121**__, will input battle data into a special program made to simulate fight scenes._

"SHIELD and Hellsing have never met on the field of battle." Lunatic explained, "There's gonna be shotguns, semi-autos, sniper rifles, and blood."

_To prevent a lucky bullet from snatching victory, Lunatic preps things up for a five-on-five scuffle. Five SHIELD operatives against five Hellsing commandos in a battle to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior._

_

* * *

_

On the Marvel side of the Fight Club, Team SHIELD locks and loads…

A redheaded woman with a black jumpsuit took an assault rifle in hand. It was working like a charm, earning a smile from her.

_**Natalia Romanoff **__is the number one of SHIELD's colonel, Nick Fury. She is the colonel's top operative and goes under the alias of the "Black Widow"._

"These Hellsing people…no, they won't beat us." Black Widow said, her Russian accent quite audible, "They're used to killing vampires, but so are we and we're used to more, to add more punch."

A man with a mustache, SHIELD uniform, and a cowboy hat took a pair of pistols with a smirk.

_**Timothy "Dum-Dum" Dugan **__is a hardcore SHIELD operative. He has worked with Nick Fury since World War II and is proficient in the use of the weapons used by the organization._

"SHIELD will wipe out these Hellsing sissies any day of the week. We're the best of the best at what we do, so don't plan on taking us lightly." Dugan said, his voice hinting a warning.

_SHIELD was first founded after World War II, drafted by Nick Fury and approved without his knowledge. And in the span of just over twenty years, the organization turned into a vast, structured force used to keep the world itself safe from forces beyond human._

"We were formed to keep superhuman forces in line." Dugan informed, "And for that reason, we won't back down. We're not afraid of mutants, we're not afraid of aliens or vampires, and we're certainly not going to be afraid of these Hellsing people."

_With a little pushing, it was SHIELD that brought together the legendary superhero team known as The Avengers._

_But what about the opposition? Our Hellsing team is also confident that they will take home the gold…_

A man with a braided ponytail, an eye patch, and a cowboy hat snickered as he picked up an explosive weapon of sorts.

_Leader of the Wild Goose mercenary group, __**Captain Pip Bernadotte**__, has worked with Hellsing in their battle against Millennium. He's familiar with the guns that Hellsing will bring to the fight._

"To BE in Hellsing, you have to show no fear of whatever you see. And what you'll be seeing is death, gore, and bloodthirsty monsters who will gladly see your head on a stake." Bernadotte filled in, "It's not easy, in other words."

A young woman with blonde hair, a blue uniform, and a single fang jutting out her mouth took aim with a sniper rifle.

_Former member of the British Police Force, __**Seras Victoria**__, is a current operative of Hellsing. She joined after their greatest soldier made her his eternal servant._

"SHIELD…I guess are made of some tough stuff, but if you're trying to compare them to us, give it up. We've been trained to defeat creatures that they couldn't beat in a million years.

_Hellsing was founded by the legendary Prof. Abraham Van Helsing after his defeat of Dracula. Run by Professor Van Helsing's descendants, Lady Integra Hellsing inherited the organization as a young girl, and gained control of their most powerful weapon: the legendary vampire, Alucard._

"When Lady Hellsing took control of the Organization, she was probably only twelve years old." Seras said, "And by that time she met my master, she was already drenched in fear and blood."

_Hellsing quickly rose to a high status, becoming Great Britain's lead monster killers. Their most favored weapon…_

_The Benelli M4 shotgun: a semi-automatic weapon that shoots fragmenting rounds made to cut up monsters._

Benelli Shotgun:  
Size: 3ft  
Weight: 8lbs  
Rounds: 8  
Ammo: 12 gauge  
Range: 120ft  
Action: Semi-automatic

"Alright, people. THIS is the Benelli." Bernadotte said, holding the gun out, "This is a shotgun, so the rounds will shred the enemy like paper, and the best thing is that it's semi-automatic."

"So, that means you don't have to pump it or reload it? You just pull the trigger again?" Lunatic asked.

"Yes. You learn fast, shrimp." Bernadotte quipped, "But how about I show you what this thing can do?"

_For target practice, Captain Bernadotte is given eight targets to wipe out: four foam torsos and four blood-filled splatter balls._

"Ready, Bernie?" TL called.

"Don't call me 'Bernie'…and I'm ready." Bernadotte answered.

"THREE! TWO! ONE! FIRE!"

Capt. Bernadotte pulled the trigger of his Benelli and with a BANG, a twelve-gauge blast put a devastating wound in the first foam torso. A few more pulls of the trigger and two splatter-balls shattered, and after a five-round blasting spree, all other targets were shredded.

"How's that?" Pip asked, his barrel smoking.

"Pretty good." TL answered, "You took them out in the span of five seconds."

As the team went over, TL almost immediately noticed the peppering on the foam torso.

"Whoa…This wound looked big from here, but you slowly see it get bigger as you get closer." Reynol said, gesturing to the wound.

"So, none of these guys are making it out alive?" Lunatic asked.

"None whatsoever."

"Nice shootin' there, boy." Dugan said with a nod, "Unfortunately for you, we've got a weapon that does twice as much in half the time."

_SHIELD's answer to the Benelli M4…_

_The AA-12: a lethal shotgun that sprays, kills, and keeps firing…_

AA-12:  
Size: 991mm  
Weight: 7.3kg  
Rounds: 32  
Ammo: 12 gauge  
Range: 150ft  
Action: Fully Automatic

"Hellsing folks, lo and beholdeth, the AA-12." Dugan said, holding up a new gun with a drum magazine, "This thing can put your Benelli to shame in terms of sheer firepower."

"In what way?" Lunatic asked.

"The fact that it's a fully-automatic weapon." Black Widow answered, "You start firing this thing and it will kill anyone you point it at."

"Is it an accurate weapon?" TL asked.

"From fifty yards, you can kill any moving object." Dugan answered.

"Is it reliable? Does it jam a lot?" Lunatic asked.

"Nope. Doesn't jam a lot." Dugan said, shaking his head.

To test the AA-12's destructive force, Dugan was led to a small range with twelve targets: much more than that used to test the Benelli. He is given a single drum containing thirty-two rounds…

Dugan, the AA-12 in hand, took aim at the multiple targets with the shotgun.

"Three…two…one…FIRE!"

Dugan started out with a single shot to one target, shredding it from afar. But after that single shot, he went full-auto. The AA-12 unleashed a torrent of shrapnel-producing rounds, shredding any and all targets in their way. It was like a shotgun version of a Gatling Gun…

Dugan's gun clicked: empty. He held it up, then blew the smoke off the barrel.

"My work's done here…" Dugan said, showing every hint of satisfaction.

_So, which team's shotgun gets the edge?_

"The Benelli is a handy gun to have." Lunatic admitted, "But in terms of sheer firepower, a twenty-five percent greater range, and a fully automatic feature, I have to give the edge to SHIELD and the AA-12."

_In shotguns, SHIELD gets the edge with their AA-12._

_But when things get dirty, both sides can rely on their explosive assaults…_

Natalia Romanoff held up a small, circular grenade…

_The M67 hand grenade: a hand grenade with enough power to clear an entire room._

M67 Grenade:  
Size: 2.5in diameter  
Weight: 14oz  
Range: 48ft

"This is a weapon SHIELD agents never go into the field without." Black Widow said, holding up an M67, "You're not going anywhere without carrying at least four of these."

"So, what kind of blast radius are we talking about?" Reynol said, looking the grenade over, "Also, how do we work this thing?"

"It's pretty simple. You keep this lever down, then pull out the pin. When you want to throw it, you release the lever, so it makes this a pretty easy grenade to maintain in terms of safety." Black Widow explained, "You then throw it and it will produce a blast of about forty-five feet."

_To test the M67's explosive power, Natalia will throw the grenade into a glass case to simulate a small room in a building…_

"So, we've got this glass 'room' of sorts and we've put in a pig carcass, a foam torso, and a ballistics gel body." TL explained, "Think that grenade can clear them all?"

"It sure will…" Black Widow answered.

Clearing the area, the experts let Black Widow do her thing. She removed the pin, tossed the grenade into the glass structure, then ran as fast as her legs would let her.

Three…

Two…

One…

BOOM!

The grenade went off, littering the ground with glass and sending pig, foam, and gel torsos flying. As the team went in, they noticed just how bad the damage was…

"Unbelievable damage with just that one grenade…" Ray said, inspecting the pig carcass, "The wounds are small, but the shrapnel has lodged itself deep into the carcass. This guy is either dead already or slowly bleeding to death and deaf."

"The hand grenade, I think, gives you a few seconds to bail out of the room and start firing back." TL said, putting the pieces together.

"Very nice, Americans." Bernadotte complimented, "But unfortunately, we've got a weapon that has almost ten times that kind of blast…"

"And what would that be?" Lunatic asked.

_Hellsing responds to SHIELD's hand grenade with an explosive weapon that can be used without anyone having to engage the enemy…_

_The M18 Claymore Mine: an aimed explosive weapon designed to kill all in front of it…_

M18 Claymore  
Size: 216mm  
Weight: 3.5lbs  
Range: 310ft

"This, gentlemen, is the Claymore mine." Bernadotte said, holding up a square, green packet of sorts, "It has three parts: the explosives in the case, the detonating wire, and the trigger."

"So, you can set this explosive up just about anywhere?" Lunatic asked.

"You just stand it up, attach the wire, then get a good distance. The thing that makes it lethal is that, unlike your grenade, this bomb actually aims its shrapnel like a giant shotgun." Victoria answered, "Since it's going in one direction, that means the frag will go further than that of a regular bomb. It's that deadly."

To test the explosion of the Claymore, our experts have taken things outside for four different dummies placed at fifty, one-hundred, and two hundred fifty feet. One dummy will be placed fifty feet behind the bomb.

"So, the explosion is big, but the chord is long, eh?" TL asked.

"Yes, so when the unsuspecting SHIELD operatives step in our range, we can easily kill all of them in one fell swoop." Bernadotte answered.

"So, ready to see what this bomb can do?" Lunatic asked.

"Bring it on…"

"Detonate in five…four…three…two…one…GO."

KA-BOOM!

The single packet exploded like a miniature rocket had hit the area and the fire instantly scorched the closest target while the other two got loaded with shrapnel.

"THIS is unbelievable damage…" Ray said, looking over each victim, "The first guy got a faceful of shrapnel AND the blast, the second guy is dead from the shrapnel, but the furthest guy may have survived. And the guy behind the mine…almost like he's unscathed."

"So, we have two kills, one questionable kill, and one survivor." TL said, adding the numbers up.

"It does kind of worry me that you can only carry one Claymore with you." Dugan pointed out, "And if you're talking warfare, someone may stay away from it."

"That's why you hide it in places like low-lying foliage or tall grass." Bernadotte defended.

_So, which explosive weapon gives their team the edge?_

"Claymore vs. M67, M67 all the way." TL stated, "That grenade's smaller, less noticeable, and still packs enough punch to clear a room."

"I admit that a hand grenade is handy in the hands of someone from either SHIELD or Hellsing, but I give the edge to the Claymore. It can be aimed, operated from a safe distance, and it has more than twice the effective range of the hand grenade. Edge to Hellsing this round."

_The Claymore blasts its way to give Hellsing the edge in explosive weapons._

* * *

_When it came to SHIELD and Hellsing, both operated their own unique ways._

_SHIELD would gauge the enemy's strength beforehand, adjust their technology, and then move in for the kill._

"The reason SHIELD is successful is because we learn ahead of time, prepare for battle, then take advantage of our enemy." Black Widow explained, "We have all the resources in the world at our disposal."

Hellsing would analyze the weakness of any monster, apply it to their own weapons, then use their numbers and powerful weapons to overwhelm the enemy.

"When taking out a specific type of monster, we find good methods and they work." Seras countered, "If these work with our enemies, it'll be no different than with SHIELD."

_In assault rifles, Hellsing's preferred weapon was the L85A1 assault rifle: the most commonly used rifle in Great Britain._

L85A1:  
Size: 30.9in  
Weight: 11lbs  
Rounds: 30  
Range: 450 meters  
Rate of Fire: 775 RPM

"This is Hellsing's gun." Bernadotte said, holding up the SA80 variant, "It's easy, modern enough to be proficient, and it's a very accurate weapon."

_But SHIELD also has their own handy assault rifle, one they claim is more reliable._

_The Bushmaster ACR: accurate, reliable, and familiar in the hands of a soldier._

Bushmaster ACR:  
Size: 35in  
Weight: 10lbs  
Rounds: 30  
Range: 600 meters  
Rate of Fire: 750 RPM

"Hellsing can keep its SA80 guns." Dugan stated, "I've used 'em before and they can't compare to the Bushmaster. It feels like an M4, but it's lighter, ambidextrous, and customizable. At the end of the day, we'll see whose gun is better."

_To see which gun is the best one to carry, our team heads out to the firing range to gauge the firepower._

_First, Captain Bernadotte takes aim with the L85A1…_

"GO!"

Captain Bernadotte unleashed a torrent of bullets on twelve bottles filled with red liquid. He had just shattered five with ammo when something unexpected happened: the clip fell out after a few fires.

"Hold it! Clip fell out…" Bernadotte called, picking up his clip and fastening it back on.

_A brief malfunction, but Bernadotte doesn't let it worry him._

A few seconds later, Bernadotte had a firm grasp on his gun and fired it again. This time, he took them all out.

"Alright, I was sold on the accuracy of that gun, but one flaw has made me question your firepower." TL said, looking the L85 over, "If your gun falls apart like that in the middle of a battle, it could very well cost you your life."

"The magazine won't ALWAYS fall out." Bernadotte defended, "It happens rarely, but if it does, we simply take out another gun and blow your head off."

_But now, it's Dum-Dum Dugan's turn with the Bushmaster…_

Dugan was given a similar setting as Bernadotte, but with glass orbs filled with powder rather than liquid.

"GO!"

Dugan took careful aim, then fired, breaking one of the orbs in an instant. He kept this up again and again, the ACR firing without a hitch, until all the orbs were down.

"How do you like that?" Dugan asked.

_Our experts are impressed, but there are a few other questions plaguing our experts' minds._

"I need to know about the other factors of this gun." TL pointed out, "What are some good features about this gun that separate it from the L85A1?"

"For starters, this is an ambidextrous weapon." Dugan answered, "You can be left-handed and still be able to operate it with relative ease. And unlike the L85, this thing won't fall apart on me even in rough conditions. And like the M4 and M16, the Bushmaster feels good in the user's hands."

Ray took the gun in his hand, then began to mock-wield it.

_Ray has practiced with guns before, so to finish up the test, he will see which gun feels better in the user's hands._

"Alright, lemme have the L85…" Ray said, and Captain Bernadotte answered by handing it over.

With a set-up bar in hand, dummies thrown into the fray, Ray let a few bullets loose with the L85. After a few seconds of dummy-slaughter, he whooped in satisfaction.

"A'ight! What a blast!" Ray said, then handed the British AR back, "Time for the other one."

Dugan handed Ray the Bushmaster ACR, then stated, "You've already closed the bar."

"He's going to reopen it by force." Bernadotte explained.

Ray set to work with the Bushmaster. It certainly felt good in his hands, and he had no problem aiming the thing. It was as easy as aiming an M-16.

"AWESOME!" Ray cheered.

"Honestly, though, which gun do you prefer?" Lunatic asked.

"Because of this familiar feel of a comfy gun, I have to give it to the Bushmaster." Ray answered.

_With the expert's opinion, the Bushmaster ACR gives SHIELD the edge in assault rifles._

* * *

_In a battle between SHIELD and Hellsing, both pack lethal weapons and effective combat techniques._

"SHIELD is not composed of a few soldiers who just got lucky with a gun." Black Widow explained, "We're highly-trained operatives in hand-to-hand combat and trained to think outside the box."

"Hellsing is more than just a group of monster killers." Seras defended, "We fight with knives, we fight with swords and bayonets, with whatever we can get our hands on. We're real scrappers, put simply."

When it comes to getting down and dirty, Hellsing packed a lethal combo of blade and bludgeoning weapon…

_The Trench Knife: a five-inch blade connected to a handle with brass knuckles laden with spikes._

Trench Knife:  
Size: 10in  
Weight: 1lb  
Substance: Steel blade, brass handle

"Gentlemen, I give you the gift of the Trench Knife." Bernadotte said, holding out the blade, "The knife can be used to slash or stab your enemy and these knuckles here amplify your punch, focusing the force on these spikes."

"And I think that the punch will also drag the blade across your enemy's face, too." Lunatic said, looking the weapon over.

"It'll do plenty of that, too." Bernadotte answered.

_To test the killing potential of the trench knife, our team sets up a ballistics gel torso._

"Okay, Captain, I want you to slug this guy across the face, then jam the knife wherever you please." TL explained.

"Don't mind if I do." Bernadotte said with a grin.

"Ready, Captain?"

"Ready." The Wild Goose Leader answered, knife at the ready.

"Three…two…one…GO!"

Bernadotte lunged for the torso, catching it with a hook to the jaw. A gash was easily visible in the torso's face, but the damage was made worse when Bernadotte followed up by jabbing the blade into the right side of the dummy's neck.

"I got about eighty-two pounds of force on the guy's face." TL said, looking over a computer, "That's enough to knock out teeth and possibly dislocate the jaw, but look here…" TL pointed at a few points of the face that were cut open and a large gash on the face to emphasize what he was pointing at.

"Those spikes on the handguard definitely did something to this guy." Ray said, feeling the torso, "Along with this gash on his face. And you immediately followed up with a backhand that drove the knife into your enemy's throat."

"Yes, I was aiming for his jugular." Bernadotte explained.

"You'd do more than just pierce his throat, you'd probably sever the spine with that kind of force." Lunatic corrected.

_A nasty weapon, but SHIELD isn't impressed._

"Anyone can fight with knives." Dugan pointed out, "I've done it, SHIELD has already been trained to do it, and we've fought against all who do bring knives. And lemme just say that they won't be expecting one weapon in our arsenal…"

_SHIELD answers to the Trench Knife with the Derringer: a four-shot, pistol that's small enough to conceal in a soldier's pocket._

Derringer:  
Size: 6in  
Weight: 2lbs  
Rounds: 4  
Range: 10ft  
Ammo: Revolver shells

"Soldiers, this is the derringer." Dugan said, holding out a small pistol, "It's small, easily concealed, and when your enemy thinks he's got you, you pull this on him and pump him."

"What's the effective range of a pistol this small?" Lunatic asked, playing around with the empty gun.

"From ten feet, you can hit just about anything." Dugan answered.

A few seconds later, the team had headed down to a firing range with a paper target about ten feet away. Dugan loaded four rounds into his derringer, then took aim.

BANG!

A shot went through the target's "arm". A quick adjustment and a bullet sailed right through the target's head area.

"And that's how it's done." Dugan said with a nod, "The first thing you do with a derringer is wait for them to get close, aim for your enemy's limbs, then nail 'em wherever you feel like."

"Well, you do worry me that you only get two to four shots." Seras said, fondling her chin, "If you miss with those shots, I guarantee it will cost you the game."

"I think you're denying the evidence that's in front of you, Seras." Lunatic said, shaking his head, "By bringing this in, even if everyone else has run out of ammo, you still have a spare gun. It may only have a range of ten feet, but that's all he needs."

_The edge in close-range weapons goes to SHIELD._

_Both our teams have gone up close and personal, but now it's time to see which team has the deadlier long-range rifle._

_SHIELD launches an attack with the Barrett M82 sniper rifle: a lethal, semi-automatic sniper that can hit targets up to a mile away._

Barrett M82:  
Size: 57in  
Weight: 31lbs  
Rounds: 10  
Ammo: .50cal  
Range: 5906ft

"As long as you have one of these, the enemy will be dead in no time." Black Widow explained, "This thing has a semi-automatic features, which means you don't have to waste twenty seconds reloading it. And the rounds it puts out can pierce tank armor."

_Hellsing counters SHIELD's lethal rifle with the Hallconnon: a lethal, long-range firearm that they say can hit with more stopping power._

Hallconnon:  
Size: 70in  
Weight: 45lbs  
Rounds: 10  
Ammo: 30mm  
Range: 5901ft

"This is my favorite weapon of all." Seras said, showing off the miniaturized anti-tank weapon, "This thing uses two types of ammunition: the regular uranium shells and my personal favorite, the exploding rounds. This can stop a tank or small airship with ease."

_To test the sheer killing power of these long-range rifles, our team sets up three dummies to symbolize enemy soldiers._

_First up, Black Widow with the Barrett sniper rifle._

Black Widow lay on the ground, Barrett in hand, and peered through the scope. When her target was in sight: the place right between the dummy's eyes, she fired.

In the blink of an eye, a hole was punched in the dummy's forehead.

Wasting no time, Black Widow turned and fired a round at the other dummy, this time landing it in its throat. THIS was to show the Barrett's semiautomatic features.

It showed: in less than five seconds, all three targets were shot dead.

"Way to go, Natalia!" TL cheered as she got up and proceeded to disassemble her sniper.

_Now, it's Hellsing's turn with similar targets…_

Seras Victoria laid on the ground, taking aim with the Hallconnon. After a quick aim, she fired at the first dummy's gut. Upon hitting the dummy, the Hallconnon's uranium round created a large cavity in the dummy's midsection.

Another uranium round was fired, this one taking off a dummy's head completely. She took a second to load a different round: an anti-craft round. She fired and the instant it hit, it exploded like a grenade.

_The damage from the Hallconnon is DEVASTATING._

"We have unbelievable damage here." Ray said, looking at the wound from the first shot, "Whatever was in this guy's cavity is gone now. But the real damage is done on that final shot."

All experts looked over at the final dummy to realize that it had both a hole blown into it the size of a basketball, and a set of peppering from shrapnel.

"The Barrett was certainly an accurate sniper rifle and it has some form of range advantage." Lunatic explained, "But due to sheer firepower, I have to give the edge to the Hallconnon."

_The Hallconnon gives Hellsing the edge in long-range weapons…_

_But now our two teams prepare for the ultimate quick-draw: time to draw their pistols…_

_SHIELD's choice is the Glock 18: a pistol that can be custom-fitted to be a regular single-shot gun or a fully-automatic weapon._

Glock 18:  
Size: 9.85in  
Weight: 3.4lbs  
Rounds: 18  
Ammo: 9x19mm  
Range: 100ft  
Action: Customizable

_Hellsing, on the other hand, packs the Beretta 93R: An enlarged version of the pistol used by modern US military for maximum range and accuracy._

Beretta M93R:  
Size: 240mm  
Weight: 1170g  
Rounds: 20  
Ammo: 9x19mm  
Range: 90ft  
Action: Automatic

Black Widow took a Glock 18, then opened fire on a paper target. The tightness of the group combined with the automatic feature was impressive.

But Captain Bernadotte also proved his point with the Beretta. The Automatic feature helped a lot, and the accuracy was just as good.

_Since both are good in broad daylight, our team heads outside in the dead of night._

"Alright, here's what you do." TL explained, "We will have NO automatic features; just average pistols and nine shots each. You have three Hellsing operatives and three SHIELD operatives."

Out on the range, the foam torsos had been marked with the opposition's symbol: Hellsing's pentagram and SHIELD's eagle.

_First up is SHIELD with the Glock._

"Ready, Natalia?" TL called.

Black Widow slipped on a pair of nightvision goggles, then took up her Glock.

"Yes, sir."

"GO FOR IT!"

Black Widow took off into the night, pointed her gun at the first Hellsing operative dummy. With just a few pulls of the trigger, she nailed the enemy with three bullets. Moving on quickly, she found the second one and opened fire on it, too. And after a quick dash, she spotted the third dummy and pumped it with whatever firepower she had left.

As soon as she was done shooting, the lights immediately went up as the team went in to inspect the damage.

"So, let's take a look at this first dummy…" Ray said, walking to the first target, "You have three bullets in this guy: all of them in the chest. So, he's down."

He went to the second guy, "You've got two shots in this guy's gut. This guy would need immediate medical treatment or he's done for. The third, however, hit him in the chest, so it really doesn't matter."

"And the last one, I see two graze wounds and one kill." Ray said, "Graze wounds are NOT something you want to get because that person still has the potential to keep firing."

"But he's down, right?" Dugan asked, "He's going down for the count in a matter of seconds."

_Now, Captain Bernadotte takes aim with the Beretta 93R…_

Captain Bernadotte took his own set of nightvision goggles and Hellsing's traditional pistol.

"Ready, Captain?" TL called.

"Sure am…" Bernadotte answered.

"GO FOR IT!"

The lights went down as Bernadotte took off. He came to the first SHIELD target, then planted three rounds in it. He raced off again to find the second, then gave it the same treatment.

Finally, Bernadotte came to the last eagle-bearing dummy and proceeded to pump it with lead.

"Lights up!" Bernadotte called.

As the lights went up, the team went to see if Team Hellsing did anything better than SHIELD.

"The first thing I notice is the tightness of your shots." Ray said, noticing that Hellsing's shots were closer and more precisely aimed than SHIELD's, "This guy is done because these bullets hit him in the lung and the heart."

At the next target, a similar event had happened. "These shots have all been placed in the abdomen, so he's bleeding to death and unable to fight."

"And this last guy…" Ray said, noting two bullet holes in the chest, "You hit him well here, but where's the last shot?"

"Right there." Bernadotte said, pointing at the target's neck.

"So, you've wounded and killed this guy in such a short span of time." Lunatic concluded, "In a contest of accuracy and time needed to kill multiple people, I give the edge to Hellsing's Beretta 93R."

_Hellsing takes the edge in hand pistols with the Beretta._

_Our testing is complete, our arsenal cleared up, so now it's time to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior._

_

* * *

_

After a long, hard day of testing, it is time to pit our two warriors against each other: SHIELD and Hellsing.

_We tested six SHIELD weapons: The AA-12 Shotgun, M67 Hand Grenade, Bushmaster ACR, Barrett M80 Sniper Rifle, Derringer, and the Glock 18 Pistol._

_We also tested six weapons in Hellsing's arsenal: The Benelli M4 Shotgun, M18 Claymore Mine, L85A1 Assault Rifle, Hallconnon, Trench Knife, and Beretta 93R Pistol._

_In the first clash of weapons, we pitted Hellsing's Benelli Shotgun against SHIELD's AA-12._

"The Benelli impressed me with its firepower and semi-automatic capability, but with a full-auto feature and four times as many rounds, I have to give the edge to the AA-12."

(Edge: SHIELD)

_In long-range weapons, both put their lethal rifles to the test: SHIELD's Barrett against Hellsing's Hallconnon._

"Combining accuracy with sheer destructive force, I have to give the edge to whatever will cause the most damage. So, the edge goes to Hellsing's Hallconnon."

(Edge: Hellsing)

_In explosive assaults, the M18 Claymore blew away the M67 Grenade._

"The Claymore has a far greater range than an M67 Grenade and it can be remotely triggered from a distance."

(Edge: Hellsing)

_As both pitted their assault rifles to the test, the Bushmaster ACR won against the L85A1._

"If I were to take one into battle, I'd take the Bushmaster. It's comfy, it's light, and if an L85 were to fall apart in a battle, it will cost you your life."

(Edge: SHIELD)

_In close-range weapons, the Trench Knife stood up to the Derringer…and lost._

"The Trench Knife is a handy weapon to have, but a Derringer gives you a gun when your enemy is least expecting it and it can be used even if all other guns are out of commission."

(Edge: SHIELD)

_Finally, both teams tested their traditional pistols: the Glock 18 and the Beretta 93R._

"In terms of accuracy and the time it takes to actually kill someone with the pistol, Hellsing has been showing that kind of discipline. Edge to the Beretta."

(Edge: Hellsing)

_With the testing complete, Lunatic inserts the battle data into a computer developed by Slytherine Studios to decide the victor._

_It will be a battle of opposites…Superhuman control…_

(SHIELD agents surround a group of superhumans with specifically made guns.)

_Versus Supernatural destruction._

(Hellsing troops open fire on a group of vampires, pumping them with silver bullets.)

_Strategy…_

(A SHIELD operative peers through a sniper rifle, then nails an armored being in his unarmored neck.)

_Versus Efficiency._

(A Hellsing operative turns a corner, then pulls out his pistol and pops a zombie in the face.)

_Who is the DEADLIEST WARRIOR?_

Lunatic pressed a single key on the computer's keyboard and the battle was on.

-the fight—

It was sunset at a nearby mansion and two sets of soldiers were approaching fast. One team was clad in black Kevlar while the other was clad in military garbs and camo. The black-clad was Hellsing while the camo troop was SHIELD.

The leader of Hellsing was a woman with tan skin, platinum-blonde hair, and spectacles. And the leader of SHIELD was a white man with an eye patch, beard stubble, and brown hair with graying temples.

Hellsing had entered through the back of the mansion while SHIELD had gotten to the front gates and broke in with a single slam of Fury's assault rifle.

SHIELD: 5

Hellsing: 5

One of the Hellsing troops spotted someone coming for the building and set up a Claymore mine instantly. She then uncoiled the fuse for it and took the button in hand.

SHIELD had reached the doorway, but became wary. One took to a shack not too far away and assembled his Barrett M82. A less-experienced member, however, made for the door.

Nick Fury called a warning out, but everyone spotted the Claymore at the doorway and hit the dirt. It was too late for the rookie, for the minute the SHIELD agent was in her line of view, the Hellsing agent detonated the Claymore.

BOOM!

The unfortunate SHIELD agent flew backward before landing, limp as a rag and torn apart by the shrapnel.

SHIELD: 4

Hellsing: 5

The remaining three SHIELD operatives immediately stormed the building. The Hellsing bomber took out a pistol, but was a little too slow on the draw as one SHIELD operative gunned her down with his Bushmaster ACR.

SHIELD: 4

Hellsing: 4

Two Hellsing operatives made their way across the field, Benelli shotgun in one's hand and the Hallconnon in the other's. The plan was to get around the SHIELD operatives and surround them. Nick Fury turned, then all of them hit the dirt save one unfortunate soldier. Said unfortunate operative got a hole blown in him from the one with the shotgun.

SHIELD: 3

Hellsing: 4

The tides turned when the shotgun-wielding Hellsing operative fell to the ground, dead, and the back of his head trickling blood. THIS earned a shriek from the Hallconnon wielder. But she looked to the shack, acted on instinct, and fired an anti-tank round from her Hallconnon.

The round exploded into the shack and immediately took out the hiding SHIELD operative in a spray of explosives.

SHIELD: 2

Hellsing: 3

The remaining two SHIELD operatives headed up the stairs. When they reached the top, a bullet narrowly missed them.

Lady Hellsing, Beretta in hand, and her bodyguard Hellsing operative armed with an L85 were trying to buy time to get further away. After a quick coax from her guard, the head of Hellsing moved away.

After a curse from Colonel Fury, they ducked into a room, but knew it was only a matter of time before the Hallconnon-wielder came in. Fury nodded to his agent, then handed him a shotgun with a drum magazine.

Fury himself took a Glock 18 in hand and loaded a twelve-round magazine into it.

Both burst into the room and the SHIELD operative opened fire with his AA-12, bringing the Hallconnon-user down with a hail of frag.

SHIELD: 2

Hellsing: 2

Both Fury and his remaining operative took cover as the last Hellsing soldier opened fire with his L85. He had Nick Fury in his sights when, suddenly, his clip fell out. He looked down at this malfunction, then up at Nick, who proceeded to nail him with a burst of three rounds from his Glock.

SHIELD: 2

Hellsing: 1

Fury and his agent took off in a thorough search for the uppermost room. Fury fell back a little, and it was a good thing, too. The minute the remaining SHIELD operative opened the door, three bullets riddled his chest, bringing him to the ground.

Lady Integra Hellsing was there waiting for them with her Beretta 93R. And the barrel was still smoking from this fresh shot.

SHIELD: 1

Hellsing: 1

It had all come down to this: Colonel Nicholas Fury vs. Lady Integra Hellsing…

Fury barreled into the room and took cover behind a chair, narrowly avoiding a burst of bullets from Lady Hellsing's Beretta. He countered with fire from his Glock, but Lady Hellsing took refuge behind a desk.

After a few exchanges, both were soon in plain view of each other as they pulled the trigger.

Click.

Empty on both sides.

Lady Hellsing's face grimaced as he threw the useless gun away, then reached into her pocket and pulled out a trench knife before gripping her fingers into the knuckle slots.

Colonel Fury popped his knuckles. He didn't care that this lady had a knife because he had fought better-armed enemies before.

Integra lunged at Fury with the knife, making him back away to avoid getting slugged. He threw a punch at her himself only for her to duck under it and lunge with the trench knife again. She met Nick's forearm as he brought his head slamming into hers. Integra stumbled back into a wall, but raised her foot to land a kick on an oncoming Colonel.

Nick Fury ducked under a thrust from the trench knife, then lashed out with his foot and tripped her, sending her to the floor. Lady Hellsing quickly rolled back to her feet and charged him.

Lady Hellsing was certainly stronger than she looked because she had actually backed Colonel Fury into a wall. Said leader of SHIELD was holding back her arm with all his strength.

Lady Hellsing shifted her weight suddenly and bowled Nick Fury to the ground. Fury's experience as a soldier led him to roll across the ground and take something from a belt on his calf.

Integra Hellsing charged, wanting to catch him off-guard and end this now. She raised her knife to jab it into his gut…

BANG!

Lady Hellsing froze as her weapon-less hand raced to her side. Blood dyed her glove red as she fell to her knees.

Colonel Fury had nailed her with his derringer. Said colonel rose to his feet, raised a foot, then kicked her on her back before pointing the derringer at her.

BLAM! BLAM!

One of the derringer bullets caught her in the chest while the other landed in her face.

Nick Fury threw the gun away, then took one of the cigars on the desk before lighting it and taking a well-deserved victory smoke. He then proceeded to make his exit from the building.

* * *

**Winner: SHIELD**

"Hellsing's arsenal was a complete nightmare, as it was able to defeat enemies without really engaging them." Lunatic explained, "But that being said, it couldn't compare to the arsenal of SHIELD, which was made to handle any situation: long-range, mid-range, and short-range."

_Hellsing's Hallconnon and Claymore Mine both attained high kills, but not enough to attain victory…_

Hellsing Kills…  
Benelli: 46  
L85A1: 47  
Claymore: 135  
Hallconnon: 201  
Beretta: 44  
Trench Knife: 6  
All-in-All kills: 479

_SHIELD's AA-12 and Bushmaster ACR were the deadliest weapons brought into the battle._

SHIELD Kills…  
AA-12: 207  
Bushmaster: 198  
M67: 32  
Barrett: 47  
Glock: 24  
Derringer: 13  
All-in-All kills: 521

"Even though Hellsing's arsenal was designed to keep your enemies at bay, SHIELD's arsenal was made to take out your enemies even if they rush you head on." TL explained.

"In terms of adaptive weapons, I can't honestly say I'm surprised." Ray said with a shrug.

"Enjoy your victory while you can." Seras said, holstering a pistol, "If that really happened, we'd send in Alucard and he'd kill you in no time."

"Long-range weapons like yours are coward strategies." Black Widow stated, "Get yourself better guns and maybe we can have a fair fight."

(Colonel Fury loads an assault rifle, then aims at whatever target awaited him next.)

_With apologies to Hellsing fans._

_Next Time..._

_SOLDIER 1st Class: the driving force of Shinra's military, given strength from genetic enhancement._

_Cipher Pol 9: the World Government's elite assassins, whose training has made them superhuman._

_WHO IS DEADLIEST?_


	9. SOLDIER vs CP9

**SOLDIER: 1****st**** Class**

(A spike-haired man in black uniform takes a large sword and readies a stance.)

Genetically-enhanced super soldiers who take on Shinra Corp.'s biggest, most dangerous missions.

(A SOLDIER 1st Class charges a group of Wutai rebels, then hacks them down before launching a fireball at another oncoming enemy.)

**Cipher Pol 9**

(A man in a black uniform performs a high kick before thrusting a fist forward.)

The World Government's powerful, elite martial artists, trained to kill and keep secrets safe.

(A CP9 agent walks into a group of attacking pirates, kicks one away, then pierces another with his finger.)

_WHO IS DEADLIEST?_

_To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first century science, we see what happens when the two warriors go toe-to-toe._

_No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is…_

_**The Deadliest Warrior**_

The Fight Club rang with two different kinds of fighting: two guys were exchanging punches and kicks while two others were clashing steel with abnormally-large swords.

_In our Los Angeles fight club, we've assembled an elite team of doctors, scientists, and combat veterans. Their goal: to see who would win between two legendary superhuman forces…_

_CP9: Lethal assassins and martial artists whose devotion to the government is the fuel for their raging furnace._

_VS…_

_SOLDIER: The Mako-enhanced, Jenova-bonded destroyers of the planet's most feared creatures, human and beast alike._

_**CP9:  
**__**Height: 6'  
**__**Weight: 167lbs  
**__**Gear: 4lbs  
**__**Armor: Tekkai art**_

_**SOLDIER:  
**__**Height: 6'  
**__**Weight: 154lbs  
**__**Gear: 15lbs  
**__**Armor: Barrier Materia**_

A white hedgehog whooped as a blast of energy wiped out all dummies in their paths.

_Biomedical scientist, __**TLSoulDude**__, will test the lethal possibilities these two warriors will bring to the fight._

"For this fight, we have a guy who's trained his body to superhuman level, but his opponent is a guy who's done the same thing and is genetically enhanced." TL filled in, "It's really anyone's game with this matchup."

_Combat expert and medical man, __**Sergeant Reynol**__, will analyze the damage and determine if the forces were enough to kill._

"For both these guys, we're talking about the big dogs. They've done extensive training, went under immense trauma, and have even had to fight against each other to attain their status symbols."

A red-haired ninja analyzed the injury of a skull, then typed something into a computer.

_Computer wiz, __**Lunatic 121**__, will gather test data that the two warriors put out._

"For this matchup, we're not just comparing weapons that these two bring, we're testing combat moves that they both perfected." Lunatic informed, "This could be the closest thing we've seen to a bare-fisted fight."

_The data will be put into a computer program that will ultimately decide the victor: SOLDIER or CP9._

A young man with black, spiky hair takes a giant sword in hand before holding it in a defensive pose.

_On the side of Midgar's elite warriors is a hardcore SOLDIER operative, __**Zack Fair.**_

"Getting into SOLDIER is NOT an easy task." Zack said, a friendly smile on his face, "Trust me, I had a hard time getting up the ladder…"

An older man with long, black hair and a bit of beard stubble took a piece of materia in hand. This was a good piece of the stuff…

_One of SOLDIER's greatest products, __**Angeal Hewley**__, has worked with SOLDIER since he was a boy. His mother was injected with Jenova cells and conceived him, making him an instant SOLDIER._

"We're so much stronger than this. We fight to live, and live to fight, and we aren't limited to just flashy martial arts." Angeal said, arms folded across his chest, "And it's that feature that will give us the advantage over the CP9."

_SOLDIER is the top military section of the Shinra Electric Power Company. To enhance their warriors' strength, SOLDIER operatives had two components added to their body: Mako, the essence of a special energy called the Lifestream, and Jenova cells: the cells of a being that crashed into the planet of Gaia thousands of years ago._

"You can't just inject yourself with this stuff and expect yourself to become super-powerful." Zack filled in, "Mako has been known to kill people or addict them to the point of it being a powerful narcotic. You have to be strong of mind and overcome this…or die."

_Mako, combined with Jenova cells in a human body, makes SOLDIER operatives physically stronger and increases their cognitive capabilities. Their physical strength is then made the driving force behind powerful blades and magical items called Materia._

_Team SOLDIER is confident…but their opposition is rooting for the CP9._

A man with a black coat and cap, a long nose, and oddly-circular eyes took up a martial arts pose.

_The second-strongest member of the CP9, __**Kaku**__, has mastered all but one of the CP9's legendary martial arts._

"SOLDIER is tough, but when it comes to hardcore training, you can't compare to the CP9. We've worked for years to get our bodies into the shape that is required to protect the government we serve."

A man with a top hat, long hair, and a beard stood, watching how Kaku was moving. Soon, he went over and corrected Kaku's posture.

_The second-in-command of CP9, __**Rob Lucci**__, is also confident that the World Government will have its way with SOLDIER. He has the strongest douriki count at over four-thousand, meaning he's as strong as four-hundred average soldiers._

"SOLDIER has had its genes warped. They wouldn't know the hardships we CP9 went through for our government." Lucci stated, "In other words, they're too soft to be recognized by us."

_The Cipher Pol 9 is a secret organization of the World Government, used to either gather information or to kill any possible threat to the government's order. They go in, disguised as civilians, then make their move when people least suspect them._

"If you were an enemy of the government, we would be hunting you and you wouldn't even know it." Lucci explained, "We could be a bartender, a carpenter, or even your best friend and you wouldn't notice until we've taken you down."

_So, if a CP9 assassin met up with a SOLDIER operative, who would win?_

"Um, we'd win, of course." Zack said, as though it was obvious, "Duh?"

"It's really no contest." Lucci stated, "We'll swat them like an annoying fly."

_Team SOLDIER kick-starts the fight with a weapon used by two of their members…_

_The Buster Sword: Five feet long and two feet wide, it's the largest and heaviest sword to exist._

Buster Sword:  
Size: 5ft  
Weight: 15lbs  
Substance: Steel-Titanium alloy

"Lo and beholdeth, boys." Zack said, holding out the Buster Sword, "The signature weapon of Angeal, Me, and Cloud Strife."

"That…THAT'S the largest sword I've ever seen." Lunatic said, laughing, "That thing's as big as I am and I was already scared at how fast you can wield that thing with just one hand…"

"So, how far out are you going to be when you strike with this thing?" TL asked.

"If I reach out THIS far…" Zack said, extending the sword to a full arm's reach, "There's no way someone will reach far enough to touch me."

_To test the Buster Sword's devastating swing, Zack Fair takes aim at five pig carcasses…_

"Here, we've got a set of pigs for you to butcher." TL explained, "And I don't want to see individual strikes, I want to see ONE strike, five kills."

Zack readied the Buster Sword, holding it in a battle-ready position.

"Ready, Zack?"

"Yes, sir…" Zack answered, focusing entirely on the goal.

"Three…two…one…GO."

Zack roared, then swung his Buster Sword as hard as he could in a horizontal strike. The Buster Sword, with almost no problem, hacked through all of them, separating the pigs' upper bodies from the lower bodies.

"Wow…I'm surprised at how clean a cut you did here." Ray said, looking things over, "Ribs, spine, organs, you went through all layers necessary to properly butcher someone."

"That and the sheer length of this blade helps a lot." Angeal added, "Anything in that seven and a half-foot buzz-saw is going down."

"And did you know the best SOLDIER operatives can use TWO swords?" Zack asked.

"I'd like to see the same damage done with a blade the exact same size…" TL said, eagerly.

_To drive home the killing factor of the Buster Sword, Zack is given a second blade the exact same size and material. He is also given six ballistics gel bodies…_

Zack took an equally-large sword in hand, then began to show impeccable skill, hefting each blade around almost like it was weightless.

_Zack's objective: wipe out three people with one swipe, then wipe out the other three with just one swipe of the other sword._

"GO!"

Zack let out a war cry as he swung his Buster Sword down in a diagonal slash with the blade in his right hand. With another cry, he sprang into the air and slashed the other three down in one go.

_The damage is DEVASTATING…_

"Now that we know it wasn't a lower-body strike, we can have a better look here…" Ray said, looking them over, "Oh, man. The neck of the first guy down is close to total amputation, the second guy has what we called a flailed chest: a completely shattered ribcage, and the wound left in both of the last ones were so deep that he's dead in one go."

_But the CP9 see no use for the blade…_

"It's a big blade." Lucci stated, coldly, "If it's that big, I can see it coming, get around you, and kill you just as quickly. And if you miss, your back is to me, and that's exactly what we want."

"If I'm using two of these blades, I SERIOUSLY doubt you CP9 would want to get THAT close to me because anything within ten feet of me is going to get hacked down."

_The CP9 counter the Buster Sword with a martial arts move…_

_Shigan: a martial arts move that turns the user's index finger into a close-quarter gun…_

Shigan:  
Range: 18in  
Action: Jab with finger

"The art of Shigan is a move exclusive to the Rokushikis taught by the Navy." Kaku explained, "What you do to perform a Rokushiki martial art is to say the name and do the right action. Shigan, for example, turns your index finger into a piercing bullet."

"Well, let's see what this martial art going to do?" Lunatic asked.

"I think a test would better explain." Kaku answered.

"Alright, your first target is a ballistics gel torso. Just do the art of Shigan on it and we'll see if you've successfully killed the guy." TL explained.

"I'm going to enjoy this…" Kaku said, cracking his knuckles.

"Ready, Kaku?" TL called.

"Ready…"

"Three…two…one…GO!"

"SHIGAN!"

Kaku thrust into the torso with his finger, actually piercing the body. He withdrew his finger as the experts moved in.

"The damage here is pretty decent…" Ray said, putting a finger into the wound, "With your finger alone, you've broken past the ribs and punctured the lung. But I just want to clear up that this is NOT a kill shot."

"Then, how about I aim a little better and nail him in the neck area?" Kaku suggested.

Every expert cleared off, then let Kaku do his thing. He definitely placed his next Shigan a lot better, nailing the dummy in the neck.

"So, you're piercing the windpipe with this one blow." Ray explained, "But this is almost puncturing the spine, which is paralysis at its best."

_Our two superhumans have shown that they can dish it out, but how will they fare against the other's defenses?_

_SHIELD's option is the Barrier Materia: equipped to a warrior's arm, it creates a powerful field that only the greatest attacks can shatter._

Barrier Materia:  
Size: 4" in diameter  
Weight: 1lb  
Range: 5ft  
Features: Easily-concealed

_CP9 brings in Tekkai: a martial art that hardens the user's body to iron density and the CP9 say can even stop a musket bullet._

Tekkai:  
Size: Fits warrior's size  
Action: Clench of the body

"Boys, I give to you the Barrier Materia." Zack said, holding out a golfball-sized green orb, "This will project a field of energy that will protect you for a limited amount of time."

To demonstrate, Zack put the materia near his forearm and all experts watched as the materia phased into his arm, leaving a small glow. He then thrust his hand forward and a strange barrier flashed into existence.

"So, what kind of time are you talking about?" Lunatic asked, "How long will this thing be up to protect you?"

"I'd reckon for a minute or two, but this thing won't protect you from something like magic." Zack answered.

"Will you be able to move with that barrier up?" TL asked.

"Certainly." Angeal answered.

"That field may be flashy, but you really can't compare it to Tekkai." Rob Lucci stated, "In this art, our muscles and skin become as hard as metal, capable of blocking even a musket bullet."

"Is there some kind of weakness to using this art?" Lunatic asked, "Just wondering."

"There is one flaw to Tekkai." Kaku answered, "If you use it, you can't attack or move; only one person in our organization could do it. That and it's not indestructible; you can break through it."

_Both CP9 and SOLDIER have boasted their defenses, but how will they hold up against each other's brutal assault?_

_First up, CP9 will try to Shigan their way through a SOLDIER's Barrier Materia…_

Rob Lucci stood before a barrier generator, its fuel being a typical materia used by SOLDIER operatives.

"GO!"

"SHIGAN!"

Rob Lucci plunged his finger as hard as he could into the Barrier Materia. The result was that he created something like shattering glass, but the team noticed one problem.

"Wow." Lunatic said, looking the barrier over, "You pierced the Barrier."

"But from what I can see, your hand stopped the moment you penetrated. And unless you're still moving forward, you won't be doing much more damage than this." TL said, shaking his head, "The SOLDIER behind this barrier is still able to fight."

"Fine." Lucci grunted, "Then we'll wait for you to lower your barrier, then pierce your throat."

_Now, it's SOLDIER's turn to see if they can nail CP9._

TL tapped on a metal torso, then nodded.

"Alright, Angeal, here's the deal." TL explained, "This dummy is the same density as Rob Lucci's Tekkai. If you can get through this with one swipe of the Buster Sword, you can get through anything."

"No problem. SOLDIER operatives can cut through machines with no problem." Angeal said with a nod.

Everyone took a step back as Angeal took up the Buster Sword and took a fake swing, practicing how he was going to hit the dummy.

"Ready, Angeal?" TL called.

"I'm ready." Angeal said, returning to his original pose.

"Three…two…one…GO."

Angeal raised it, then took a diagonal swing at the iron dummy. The result was a long, deep scar running down from the dummy's left shoulder to his right hip. The strength and weight of the blade combined with Angeal's enhanced strength left a deep wound even in metal.

"No words can describe how much damage this would do to a regular person." Reynol said, looking the wound over, "Just from a slash this shallow, you would have broken his collarbone, scraped a few ribs, and ruptured a few organs; intestines, liver, and bladder."

"What are the chances of a CP9 always using Tekkai to defend himself from you?" Kaku asked, "By the time you've swung that blade, we'll be on top of you or behind you."

"I think you're denying the evidence in front of you, pal." Lunatic said with a laugh, "This is proof that you won't be able to protect yourself from this guy's weapon."

_After testing both their offenses and defenses, our experts agree on which one gets the advantage._

"The Shigan, I admit is easily concealed and can kill quickly, but it's made only to kill one person at a time and it made a tiny hole in SOLDIER's Barrier Materia, leaving the enemy alive and kicking." Lunatic said, "But SOLDIER packed a weapon that no one will be able to stop: it killed six people with one swipe and SOLDIER could use this weapon to actually inflict a crippling wound to CP9 even with the Tekkai active. Edge to the Buster Sword and Barrier Materia."

_The numbers don't lie: SOLDIER gets the edge in close-quarter combat._

* * *

_In a fight between Shinra militia, SOLDIER, and World Government Agents, the CP9, both were the top of their game in their respective worlds._

_SOLDIER combined genetic enhancement and all-out-destruction._

"I don't think they're prepared for the sheer strength of our attacks." Angeal pointed out, "We're going to come for them and they WON'T be able to stop us. They can run, they can dodge, but we'll keep coming and coming until we've hacked them down like a tree."

_CP9 combined martial arts mastery with pinpoint accuracy…_

"All this martial arts training was for a reason." Kaku explained, "It not only toughened us up, it gave us the discipline and the perseverance to keep going until our enemies lay dead at our feet. And it gave us the precision to go through our enemies with minimal effort."

_For evasive maneuvers, both bring in their set of moves…_

_For CP9, their preference is the arts of Geppou and Soru: one moves him at high speed while the other allows him to jump on air._

Geppou:  
Range: 3 feet per jump  
Action: Pump legs in air

Soru:  
Speed: Mach .3  
Action: Leg muscle action

_SOLDIER brings in the Omni-Air Dash and the move Climhazzard: one moves the user at high speed, the other springs him upward and spikes enemies downward._

Omni-Air Dash:  
Speed: Mach .25  
Action: Midair Dash

Climhazzard:  
Range: 10ft high  
Action: Offensive

"So, you both claim to go at top speed when you use these moves, but what about the other?" Lunatic asked, "What is your secondary move packing?"

"Geppou allows the user to jump on the air, thus giving us maneuverability, evasive options, and more distance to cover." Kaku explained.

Zack shrugged. "We can do the same thing in just ONE jump." He stated, "And with a move like Climhazzard, we'll be bringing you back to terra firma in no time flat.

"Any flaws to your moves?" TL asked.

"In Soru, you can't really attack until you stop, and if someone intercepts you on Geppou, you're going down to the ground." Kaku answered.

"I guess the main problem with Omni-Air Dash is that you can only go in one direction." Zack said, scratching his head, "That and Climhazzard can only go in an upward direction."

_First, the two pit their speed moves against each other…_

Out in the open fields outside the fight club, Zack and Rob Lucci were readying to strut their stuff…well, Zack looked that way. Said SOLDIER operative was doing squats while Rob Lucci was standing just to his left and wondering what the heck this kid was doing.

_First up is SOLDIER…_

"Ready, Zack?" TL called.

"Yes, sir!" Zack answered in a shout.

"GO FOR IT!"

Zack curled up, then sprang forward with all the strength his genetically-enhanced muscles could give him. The result was that he easily spanned a football field in under two seconds.

_SOLDIER travels far, but takes time to get there. What about CP9?_

"Ready, Lucci?" TL called.

"Yes, sir!" Lucci answered.

"GO!"

"Soru!"

Lucci dashed forward as fast as he could, but in one second, he wound up just meters away behind Zack.

_CP9 doesn't go as far, but goes faster. So, now it's time for the two teams to pit their aerial capabilities against each other…_

"So, here's the gist. We've rigged a pole about ten feet high and we want you to get your respective flags up to the top of this pole." TL explained.

_First up, CP9…_

"Ready, Kaku?"

"Yes, sir…"

"Three…two…one…GO!"

"GEPPOU!"

Kaku sprang into the air, then proceeded to perform a frenzy of jumps until he reached the top of the pole and planted his flag in its top.

_Now, SOLDIER takes their turn with Climhazzard…_

"Ready, Zack?" TL called.

"Bring it on!" Zack answered, his buster sword in one hand and his flag in the other.

"GO FOR IT!"

Zack roared as he brought his Buster Sword up in an upward-slice, then jumped into the air, as though chasing his enemy into the air. At the top of the pole, he slammed the flag down on the top, even with Kaku's.

_With the footage, our experts try to determine who gets the edge._

"I gotta give credit to SOLDIER that their Air Dash can travel farther than the Soru and that they bring an offensive attack with Climhazzard." Ray said, looking things over, "But Soru is faster, so he'll be able to intercept that air dash easily, and the Geppou art gives you the option of evasion which is better than just moving upward."

"I can see your point in that. Edge to the CP9 this time around."

_

* * *

_

_In our high-tech battlezone, we're pitting two warriors against each other: Midgar's SOLDIER 1__st__ Class against East Blue's Cipher Pol 9._

_SOLDIER operatives started as infantrymen, who proved their mettle on the battle zone, and were surprisingly young._

"When a boy enrolled to be recruited in SOLDIER, he was probably only sixteen years old. That was to get 'em used to battle and to the brutality of everything." Angeal explained, "You proved you were tough as a mere foot soldier and being in SOLDIER is like a badge of honor."

_CP9 also required a personal history on the battlefield, and they also started young to distill that discipline._

"I was probably twelve years old when I began training for the CP9." Rob Lucci explained, "Anyone who didn't stand up to the training were killed during combat training: it's a good way to ensure that only the strong survive and that only the best will be in the group."

_Getting in close for both was a dangerous accomplishment for both, but both had the means necessary to do just that task._

"With the art of Kami-e, you won't be able to hit us even with a gun." Kaku said with a smirk.

_Kami-e: a move by the CP9 that flexes their body for unexpected evasive maneuvers._

Kami-e:  
Range: 5ft perimeter  
Action: Relaxing of body

"Kami-e is a primarily-evasive martial art. What it does is turn your whole body into some flexible material and that allows you to move in ways your enemy wouldn't expect." Lucci stated as they watched Kaku do a few examples of Kami-e, "It allows you to get in close to your enemy, then take them down with Shigan."

_To test the potential of the Kami-e art's ability to get in close, Kaku is given a dummy with a blade in hand to simulate an oncoming enemy._

"GO!"

"Kami-e!"

Kaku immediately flexed his entire body before moving around the blade's effective range. Once a few feet away, he put out a finger and shouted one word before burying it into the dummy's chest.

"SHIGAN!"

_An effective move, but what does SOLDIER have to back it up?_

"We don't need an art that turns us into a slinky if we want to avoid something." Zack pointed out, "We have our enhanced reflexes and cognitive abilities to cover that. But if you want us to get up-close and dirty, then we'll do it with this…"

Zack held up a green materia, but if one was holding it, one could tell that it was a far different one than the Barrier.

_The Stopga Materia: a magical device that stops time for five seconds; more than enough for anyone to land a killing blow._

Stopga Materia:  
Size: 4" diameter  
Weight: 1lb  
Substance: Mako  
Features: Easily concealed

"This is a Stopga Materia." Angeal said, holding up a piece of the stuff, "Upon activation, it stops your enemy in time for a short time."

"So, will a guy be moving around if you hit him in that state?" Lunatic asked.

"Absolutely not." Angeal answered, shaking his head, "By the time he's free of this hex, he'll be in pieces."

To test the effectiveness of the Stopga Materia, Angeal is put in an obstacle course with moving targets armed with AK-47s and katana.

"GO!"

Angeal trekked off into the course as one of the remote-controlled dummies came into his line of vision. He pointed a free hand at his target and it immediately stopped moving. It wouldn't even budge as the operator pushed as hard as he could.

Angeal pulled back his gloved fist, then punched the dummy as hard as he could. The result was that it turned the dummy's face inside-out. Had this been a normal punch, it wouldn't have done much, but thanks to the Mako-Jenova combination flowing through his veins, he was capable of much more.

Angeal moved on to the next target, this one moving more flexibly; possibly a template for Kami-e. He used Stopga on it, froze it in its tracks, then smashed it in half with one punch.

After clearing the course, Angeal turned and gave the thumbs' up.

"Impressive work, but why didn't you use your sword?" TL asked.

"It's personal." Angeal answered, "And trust me, you wouldn't have any more machines if I had used it."

"It's a flashy tool, but the more you use it, the more energy you drain." Lucci pointed out, "And if you stay out of its immediate range, you miss, and we'll take that time to pierce your heart."

"I think you're just denying what's in front of you." Zack said with a friendly smile, "It's quite obvious who gets the edge."

"I gotta go with Zack on this one. If you're using Soru, Kami-e, or Geppou, you're not getting around a spell like this. I'm giving it to SOLDIER this time."

_The Stopga gives SOLDIER the advantage in Mid-Range abilities._

_But now, CP9 is ready to kick it into high gear with a move made for ultimate destruction…_

_Rankyaku: a swiping-kick that turns the arc into a powerful wave of destruction._

Rankyaku:  
Range: 20ft  
Action: Side-kick

"If we use Rankyaku, I guarantee you won't be able to come near us. If you dodge, we'll move in close and take you down. And if you don't, you're done." Kaku stated.

"So, we've finally reached one of the most dangerous moves in the CP9 arsenal?" Ray said, admirably.

"Let me tell you that this move, after you use it a few times, anything you put in front of it will be unrecognizable." Lucci said, his hands clasped behind his back.

"Any flaws in a kick like that?" Lunatic asked.

"Three, actually. You can dodge it, provided you know where it's coming from." Kaku answered, "You can block the kick's arc and the attack will fail. And finally, you can intercept it with another blast."

"Well, you guys know the drill. This move is WAY too dangerous to test in here, we gotta head outside." TL said as they made for the exit.

_Out in the firing range, our team has set up a shack with five dummies placed at varying distances inside of it. One outside will gauge the damage done to a human being._

"So, what do you think you'll do to a scenario like this?" Ray asked.

"Demolish it." Kaku answered with a firm nod, "It'll demolish everything in there."

As soon as the team got to a better distance, Kaku immediately began stretching out his leg, relieving it of any stiffness and tension.

"THREE! TWO! ONE! KICK IT!"

"RANKYAKU!"

Kaku performed a side-kick, and from the arc came a massive wave of energy. The disc of energy whistled through the air and hit the hut, creating an almighty "SMASH". In the destruction, wood splintered as the building collapsed and the dummy right in front of it was cleaved clean in two.

_The destruction is incredible, but what kinds of casualties were amidst the rubble?_

"So, the guy guarding the place is cut in half." Ray said, picking up the wrecked model, "He's dead, but some of these guys inside the hut may have survived."

Lunatic was right: one guy was completely unharmed. He had another victim on top of him and had been scratched by the debris, yet he seemed just fine.

"So, we have two kills, two questionable kills, and one survivor." TL confirmed.

_As powerful as the Rankyaku is, Team SOLDIER is unmoved._

"What SOLDIER operative would let you do that to 'em?" Zack asked, "I don't think we'd have any problem jumping over that."

"How fast can you jump, then?" Kaku asked, brow raised.

"Pretty fast." Zack answered, "And we have a mean blast of our own. Does the name Blade Beam ring a bell?"

_Blade Beam: a SOLDIER's projectile attack that can hit with pinpoint accuracy._

Blade Beam:  
Range: 30ft  
Motion: Downward swing

"The Blade Beam is used by SOLDIER to attack enemies from a safe distance. It creates a diversion or disrupts their normal attack pattern. And any opening that makes itself available, we'll take advantage of it." Angeal pointed out.

"You use it by focusing a bit of energy into your blade, then unleash it in a downward swipe." Zack continued, "It's fast and, if your opponent's not fast enough, it'll do serious damage."

_To see if SOLDIER can back themselves up, our team has assembled a similar hut with one lookout made of iron._

"So, it's just demolish the house and hope it sticks?" Zack asked.

"Bullseye, Zack." Ray said with a nod.

Zack slung the Buster Sword over his shoulder: an able position to begin a Blade Beam attack. And as soon as they saw the tension in the SOLDIER's body, the countdown began.

"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!"

Zack focused a bluish energy into the blade, then swung it down in a vertical chop. As soon as the blade made contact with the ground, a wave of bluish energy erupted from the impact and cleaved into the hut. It was almost as though a series of bombs went down its center.

_The Blade Beam's damage is severe, but were there survivors?_

"What a clean cut…" TL said, looking the damage over, "This attack cleaved the hut right down the center. It's almost as though a guillotine came down and hit it."

"I'm counting three dummies dead in this hut, but the iron one…almost like he's unscathed." Ray said, finding the iron dummy and propping it up.

"I dunno, I'd be flat-out on my butt if I got hit by a beam like that, even if I was iron." Lunatic said, noting that the force had toppled such a heavy item.

"Deny it all you want, bub. Is this effective against Tekkai? The answer is 'no'."

_So, which warrior's long-range weapon is deadliest?_

"Both of these long-range attacks are deadly, but the Blade Beam has a narrow path and goes in one direction. It proved ineffective against the CP9's defenses and is easy to dodge. Rankyaku, you have to either jump or roll to avoid, and it has a much wider range." Lunatic explained, "For those reasons, I give the edge to CP9."

_CP9 takes the edge with the Rankyaku._

_The test data has been gathered, and now it's time for SOLDIER and CP9 to clash in a fight to the finish. The winner will be the Deadliest Warrior._

_

* * *

_

After a long, hard week of testing, we're ready to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior…

_A genetically-enhanced SOLDIER 1__st__ Class vs. a strenuously-trained CP9 Agent._

_We tested Six Abilities in SOLDIER's lethal arsenal: the Buster Sword, Barrier Materia, Blade Beam, Omni-Air Dash, Climhazzard, and Stopga Materia._

_We also tested Six Abilities from CP9: the Shigan, Tekkai, Soru, Geppou, Kami-e, and Rankyaku._

_In close-range combat, the Buster Sword and Barrier Materia were pitted against the Shigan and Tekkai arts._

"Shigan is a deadly move, no doubt about it, but it's only designed to kill one person at a time and failed to get through the Barrier Materia to do any significant damage. The Buster Sword, on the other hand, did the impossible: it killed six people with one swing, SOLDIER is able to use two at once like they're weightless, and they can easily cut through Tekkai."

Edge: SOLDIER

_In evasive maneuvers, SOLDIER battled Soru and Geppou with their Omni-Air Dash and Climhazzard._

"Both their moves proved effective. So, this is a tough one, but in terms of speed and maneuverability, I have to give the edge to CP9."

Edge: CP9

_In long-range weapons, our team was amazed with the Rankyaku and the Blade Beam._

"Both attacks are devastating, but Blade Beam has a short range. Compared to the wide range of the Rankyaku, it just can't compare."

Edge: CP9

_And in special weapons, we tested an effective evasive maneuver against an advantageous clock-stopper._

"Kami-e is an effective dodge, but can it compare to Stopga materia? The short and simple truth is 'no'."

Edge: SOLDIER

_Lunatic loads the data into a computer program made to simulate battle scenarios._

_It will be a battle of opposites._

_Genetic enhancement…_

(A soon-to-be SOLDIER gets injected with a strange serum)

_Versus hardcore training._

(A CP9 agent tries to strike his mentor, but winds up punched in the face)

_Silent killer…_

(A CP9 hugs a target who was once his friend, then pulls away and plants a Shigan in his chest)

_Versus overwhelming destroyer._

(A SOLDIER confronts a massive monster with a mace, takes a single swing at it with his Buster Sword, and grounds it)

"My pre-game prediction goes to CP9." Lunatic said, putting his opinion out, "The dedication they show to their work and the physical abuse they went through to get there is phenomenal."

"My money's on SOLDIER." TL disagreed, "They've got far more lethal opportunities, far more dangerous requirements for membership, and they're packing magic. That's something CP9 has no power over."

"Well, let's find out, shall we?" Lunatic asked, and with a stroke of the computer, the battle was on.

-the fight-

Out in an open meadow, two warriors were ready for a fight. One was a young man dressed almost entirely in black. His sleeveless shirt, shoulder pads, boots, comfortable pants, even his gloves. The only black that wasn't on him were his leather belts that kept his pants up. He had buzz-cut, brown hair, sea-green eyes that shone like crystal, and a gigantic sword in hand.

Glowering at him from afar was a man in a black suit. Although this suit was surprisingly sloppy: the tie was missing, the coat was unbuttoned, and his collar wasn't folded properly. This one had dirty-blonde hair and a cold look in his eye that basically said "I'm going to kill you".

The buzz-cut was a SOLDIER 1st Class while the blonde was a CP9 operative.

Both stared at each other until a simple breeze triggered their movement.

"RANKYAKU!"

The CP9 performed a spin-kick and a wave of energy erupted from the arc of the spin. The SOLDIER operative acted just as fast as he swung his massive sword down and created a wave of blue energy.

The two beams met in midair and exploded like a bomb.

"SORU!"

On hearing the voice of the CP9 agent, the SOLDIER operative coiled his whole body and performed the Omni-Air Dash, rocketing to the side. But as soon as he had landed, the CP9 agent was there to meet him.

"SHIGAN!"

The SOLDIER operative ducked away as the CP9 tried to jab him with a finger-bullet. He was thankful for his enhanced cognitive ability; without it, he would have been severely wounded.

The SOLDIER fought back, swinging his Buster Sword at the CP9 but only watched his attack sail right past his enemy's face.

The CP9 tried another Shigan, but was met with the Buster Sword, which the CP9 had brought up and used as a shield. It worked effectively, for the CP9 growled before saying another word.

"Geppou!"

The CP9 agent sprang into the air, then jumped again as though the air was a solid surface, earning a curse from the SOLDIER operative. The SOLDIER sprang after him, then swung his Buster Sword at the CP9. He almost hit, but the CP9 had simply sprung to the other side and tried to plant a kick in him.

The SOLDIER blocked in midair, then swiftly turned as he blocked another kick, a chop, a punch, and a Shigan at one point. He swung every now and then, but the art of Geppou was a very maneuverable move.

Suddenly, much to the CP9's surprise, the SOLDIER almost hit him. He had grazed him so closely that he felt a few of his blonde hairs fall to the ground. The SOLDIER had raised his Buster Sword, then brought it down as hard as he could.

The CP9, not able to dodge in time, could only say a two-syllable word.

"TEKKAI!"

The Buster Sword slammed down on him. Even with his now-iron-hard body, the CP9 felt that hit down to his core. And it was a BIG hit: big enough to send him down to the ground with a CRASH.

The CP9 groaned as he got up off the ground, then sprinted away as the SOLDIER came down. The giant sword hit the ground, burying its blade deep in the soil. The CP9, seeing an opportunity, closed the distance for the kill.

The SOLDIER kept his hand on the hilt of the Buster Sword, then sprang over to the opposite side to evade. He then shifted a part of his blade, then pulled the blade out of the ground to reveal a SECOND Buster Sword.

The CP9 gulped. Things just got a WHOLE lot tougher now.

The SOLDIER advanced, swinging the sword in his right hand in a wide arc. The CP9 jumped over it, but had just landed when the blade in the SOLDIER's left hand came around to meet him. He jumped to avoid it, but the blade grazed him, tearing open his shirt and coat and shedding blood.

The CP9 touched his wound, gingerly, then shed his shirt and coat to reveal tight muscles. The SOLDIER was unmoved by this action, for he kept his swords at the ready.

The SOLDIER swung his blade once more and the CP9 backtracked to avoid it. After the second swing, he jumped over the blade, caught himself on his hands, then rolled to avoid a downward chop from the Buster Sword.

The CP9 rolled to his feet, then ran forward and thrust his foot into the SOLDIER, sending him rolling across the ground. The SOLDIER rolled, getting to his feet in a second, then swung with both blades.

"Kami-e!"

The SOLDIER swung wildly at his opponent, but the CP9 had become like rubber or liquid, for he weaved in and out of his attacks with relative ease.

But while dodging, the CP9 could have sworn he saw something flash green. It was only there for a split second, but it couldn't have been anything important.

The CP9 wove behind the SOLDIER, then swept the ground with his foot. The CP9 fell to the ground and the CP9 towered over him, a finger at the ready.

"SHIGAN!"

The CP9 thrust with his finger, ready to impale the SOLDIER on it and end the fight.

Nothing happened.

The CP9 stared wide-eyed as his finger only seemed to penetrate some ethereal shield of sorts. The SOLDIER smirked, then threw his left arm forward as a white light shot from his palm.

The CP9 froze in place. So effective was the Stopga materia that the only thing the CP9 could do was speak and move his eyes.

The SOLDIER got to his feet, then raised his first Buster Sword with a roar that hinted victory.

"TEKKAI!"

Blood littered the ground and the CP9's cry in pain echoed through the air. Even in the art of Tekkai, he was vulnerable to the SOLDIER's mighty blade. And as if the first strike wasn't enough, the SOLDIER brought his other blade down to create an X-shaped wound on the CP9's chest.

The CP9 was drenched in his blood as he fell to his knees. He had lost so much blood already that he couldn't even move as the SOLDIER united his swords.

With one last move of his blade, the SOLDIER slammed his great blade down on the CP9's shoulder. Blood spewed from both the wound and from the CP9's mouth, and with a final raspy breath, the CP9 fell to the ground.

The SOLDIER, blade and body covered in blood, wrenched his blade out and unleashed a roar in victory to the sky.

* * *

Winner: SOLDIER 1st Class

"Out of a thousand battles, SOLDIER won sixty-one point four percent of the time," Lunatic explained, "Compared to CP9's thirty-eight point six percent. This game was won by SOLDIER's sheer devastating power and the fact that they bring three killing weapons in comparison to CP9's two."

SOLDIER Kills…  
Buster Sword: 499  
Climhazzard: 65  
Blade Beam: 50  
Omni-Air Dash: 0  
Stopga Materia: 0  
All-in-all kills: 614

CP9 Kills…  
Shigan: 96  
Rankyaku: 290  
Geppou: 0  
Kami-e: 0  
Soru: 0  
All-in-all kills: 386

"What wasn't surprising is that, in this match, there were moves that weren't lethal, but helped both warriors get an edge over the other." TL explained, "But SOLDIER was made to take out multiple people in one attack. CP9 was just made to take out ONE person at a time."

"That Stopga Materia was the deciding factor." Ray explained, "I don't care how fast you can go, how flexible you become, or how hard your body becomes, you WON'T be dodging anything if you're frozen in time."

"You're our next target, SOLDIER." Lucci warned, shaking his head, "I will hunt you down one day and kill every single one of you."

"Of course the better man won." Zack said with a smile, "There's no shame in losing to Midgar's best."

(A SOLDIER 1st Class roars in victory over his bloodied, beaten opponent.)

_With apologies to One Piece Fans…_

_Next time:_

_A Narnian King: Loyal and courageous ruler of the Great Lion's Land._

_A Mirkwood Elf: Precise, cunning warrior and archer of the Lothlorien Wood._

_Stay tuned…_


	10. Narnian King vs Mirkwood Elf

**A Narnian King**

(A man in silver armor, red cloth, and a lion symbol takes a sword from his sheath and raises it into the air.)

Loyal warrior to the great lion, Aslan.

(A Narnian Soldier clashes blades with a minotaur before pushing it over and slitting its throat.)

**A Mirkwood Elf**

(A blonde elf in foreign armor takes aim with a bow and arrow)

Sharpshooting warriors from the great Woodland Realm.

(A Mirkwood Elf fires an arrow at an orc, then turns and plants a sword into another.)

_WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?_

_To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe-to-toe._

_No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is…_

_**The Deadliest Warrior**_

* * *

The fight club rang with the sounds of metal on metal, rooms were decorated with weaponry and dummies wearing armor that was worlds apart.

_Today in the fight club, we've gathered doctors, scientists, and combat experts in a matchup between two of fantasy literature's greatest warriors…_

_A Narnian King: devoted, loyal ruler of the Great Lion's land…_

_VS…_

_A Mirkwood Elf: Pinpoint-accurate warrior from Middle Earth._

**Narnian King:  
****Height: 5'10"  
****Weight: 147lbs  
****Gear: 35lbs  
****Armor: Plated Steel and chain mail**

**Mirkwood Elf:  
****Height: 5'7"  
****Weight: 130lbs  
****Gear: 25lbs  
****Armor: Plated Iron and chain mail**

A white hedgehog inspected a pressure sensor in his hand, then applied force to it. It was working like it should.

_Biomedical engineer, __**TLSoulDude**__, will measure the forces that these weapons will unleash._

"For this matchup, we have a Narnian King who will fight to the death no matter what and we have an elf that will kill you as quickly as possible." TL said, giddy as a child, "I'm gonna enjoy this fight."

A man in military getup and a black beret studied a few ballistics gel body parts to make sure they were substantial. They were even better…

_Weapons expert and medical man, __**Sergeant Reynol**__, will gauge the damage the two warriors will cause_

"These two are going to be at it a while." Ray explained, "Both are wearing similar armor, so it's all going to boil down to the warrior UNDER the armor."

A young ninja with spiky, red hair typed a few bits of data into a laptop.

_Computer wiz, __**Lunatic 121**__, will gather test data and input it into a special program to decide the victor._

"We don't just have different humans with different armor and weapons this time." Lunatic explained, "These guys look similar, but they're two different species with different training."

_The computer, developed by Slytherine Studios, will create a virtual fight between Narnian and Mirkwood to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior._

* * *

On the side of the Great Lion, we have assembled experts worthy of the title…

A young man with brown hair dons Narnian armor before taking a sword in hand and giving a few practice swings.

_**Ryan Huffman **__will lead the charge for the Narnia. He is part of a Narnian royal bloodline and trains in combat used by Narnians and Telmarines._

"A Narnian King will fight for anything and everything." Huffman stated, "He's not going to hesitate to defend his people or land like an indecisive elf."

Another young man, this one with dirty-blonde hair, tapped a shield with his knuckles. Solid as ever.

_**Peter Pevensie **__will also be fighting for Narnia. He was one of the four chosen ones along with his siblings Edmund, Susan, and Lucy and took up the title "Peter the Magnificent"._

"This elf won't be prepared for a king who will give his all." Peter informed, "I know I didn't as a king."

_Narnian Kings were some of the few humans who ever occupied the land of Narnia. Due to their importance to Narnian culture, Narnian natives spent as much time and effort into training these humans to be the best of the best._

"In the short time I was in Narnia, I had to learn swordplay, horseback riding, along with archery and war tactics." KingHuffman explained, "It was mind-boggling, but it paid off. Not one soldier has taken me down…not yet, anyway."

But the opposing side is putting their money on the sharpshooting, highly-disciplined warriors from Lothlorien: the Mirkwood Elf.

A blonde, long-haired elf takes aim with a bow before firing.

_**Legolas **__is a Lothlorien prince and an expert in both swords and archery._

"This king stands no chance against an elf." Legolas stated, clearly and calmly, "We've lived for hundreds, even thousands of years, and our senses prove our point."

An older elf with a more confident face and a red cape took a sword and performed a dance-like combo on a target.

_**Haldir **__is a veteran fighter of Lothlorien. He has lived through battle and has become Captain of Mirkwood's fighting force._

"Humans breathe so loud, we could shoot them in the dark." He said, his voice a little more prideful than Legolas', "He'll die before he even gets close."

_Mirkwood Elves were native to two legendary forests of Middle Earth, where they lived at one with nature. The forces of evil, however, would not leave them alone and got a nasty surprise by attacking them._

"Orcs would often come into our woods to try and take our resources." Haldir explained, "But it is thanks to the trees and coverage that give us our advantage. We'll take you down with arrows or carve you with our blades."

_Elves are also brilliant tacticians: analyzing any aspect before making the logical choice. And the weapon for their precision-based style…_

_The Falchion: A curved, slashing short sword that is swift, silent, and deadly._

Falchion:  
Size: 2.5ft  
Weight: 3lbs  
Substance: Elvish steel

"This is an elf's traditional weapon." Haldir explained, "The sword is better than any man's blade because they need room to move. With this, I'm able to get in close and still deal a deathblow."

_But Narnians also bring their own blade, one they say packs more punch._

_The Broadsword: Narnia's finest blade made to smash and hack the enemy to pieces._

Broadsword:  
Size: 3-4ft  
Weight: 4lbs  
Substance: Carbon Steel

"We know we're fighting armored enemies, so that's why we pack this weapon." Ryan pointed out, "It's heavy AND it's sharp. Whether it's plate or chain, this'll get through it."

_To test both these warriors' lethal blades, our team has set up a target for each one: a hundred and twenty-pound pig._

_First up is the Mirkwood Elf with the Falchion sword._

"So, Haldir, here's the deal." TL explained, "This pig is going to fly at you from the rafters and you'll take a good hack at it."

"A bit barbaric, in my eye." Haldir stated, "But if that's what you desire, so be it."

Haldir unsheathed his sword, then readied himself as Ray pulled the pig back a bit.

"Three, two, one, release it!" TL called, quickly.

Ray released the pig and it came flying at Haldir like an oncoming enemy. Haldir waited for it to get in close, then pulled back his sword and slammed the curved, one-handed blade into the pig. A huge gash was put into it until the pig was only held together by a few ligaments.

_Now, it's Narnia's turn to deliver a kill with their blade…_

Peter took out a broadsword as the team reeled back another pig. He took a practice swing, then nodded.

"Three! Two! One! RELEASE!"

TL gave the pig a good push and it came rolling down the rail, right at Peter. He took a small step to the side, then rammed the broadsword into it. THIS time, the sword cut the pig clean in half with that one stroke.

"From both these cuts," Ray said, going over both carcasses, "Both are able to step out of the way and gut their enemy, able to cleave through the spines of an oncoming foe and probably cut through their ribs and organs, too."

_Both swords are genuinely lethal, but what other factors are there?_

"Well, it's a nice sword you elves have made, but if it's a slashing weapon, I guarantee it won't prove that much of an asset." Ryan said, then tugged at the sleeve of a mail shirt, "You'll have a hard time cutting through this."

"Is that a challenge?" Haldir asked.

_Feeling confident, our team prepares another test: time to test the blades of these two warriors against each other's armor._

Peter and Ryan raised a brow at a peculiar sight. A pair of ballistics gel torsos clad in chain mail. One torso, however, had a helmet, and a set of arms covered in armor plate.

_Because of their forest territory, Mirkwood chain mail is light, but effective._

"This is all you've got under those fancy robes?" Ryan asked with a laugh.

"Mirkwood chain mail is an effective piece of armor." Legolas explained to the experts, all the while completely ignoring the Narnian experts, "It's light enough to allow us to move swiftly and efficiently, but effective enough to protect us from the blades of our enemies."

_Narnians also wore chain mail, but they also wore plate armor to protect their arms, legs, and faces._

"He must go through so much labor dragging all that armor around." Haldir said, looking over the armor, "I could simply step to the left and I'm out of his line of vision."

"Well, here's what you're going to try and do to each other." TL explained, "Use your sword and try to get through each other's armor."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Ryan said with a nod.

_First up, Team Mirkwood will try to attack a Narnian Knight with a full set of armor._

Haldir took the falchion in hand, then swung it at the gel torso. The sword hit the shoulder armor, then slid off at an angle down the chest. The blade didn't even cut the mail for simply being too light.

"Just as I thought." Peter said, looking over the damage, "You talked about a light blade a little too much, but you couldn't back yourself up."

"But if an initial slash didn't work, we'd simply get behind you, then hamstring you before slitting your throat." Haldir countered.

_Mirkwood defends, but Narnia isn't buying. It's now their turn with the broadsword._

King Peter stepped up to the Mirkwood dummy, clad only in a mail shirt. Peter readied himself before lunging forward and slamming his sword into the dummy's shoulder. The entire dummy bent with the blade, then sprang back into place.

"Well, for starters, that was an impressive strike and an intelligent one at that." Ray said, then took off the shirt and looked it over, "At first glance, this wouldn't seem deadly because the skin isn't broken."

_The dummy's skin is unbroken, but as for its collarbone…_

"It's almost completely cut in half." Ray finished, moving the collarbone around, "This guy can't use his left arm anymore."

"The falchion didn't hurt the Narnian with all that armor, but with so little armor and going against such a heavy blade, the Mirkwood doesn't stand a chance against such a crippling blow." Lunatic stated.

_The point for short-range weapons goes to Narnia's mighty king._

_But now that the gloves are off, both teams pit their nasty polearms against each other._

Ryan Huffman pulled up a long spear, then thrust it forward with a grunt.

_The Spear: a simple, lethal, and versatile tool of death._

Spear:  
Size: 6ft  
Weight: 5lbs  
Substance: Iron tip, wood handle

_Narnian Kings were trained to use these weapons for various purposes. The shaft could block, push, and bunt the enemy, the spearhead could thrust and slash, and the weapon could even be thrown from a distance or even be used from horseback._

"This was a good weapon to have in a battle." Ryan said, holding out the long weapon, "I can keep you at a distance with this weapon with a mere thrust alone. If I extend the weapon to its full length, there's no way a little elf will want to get that close to me."

"Well, if you can dish things out with that thing, we've got just the setting for you waitin' outside." Lunatic said, packing away a computer.

_For a fresh, new test, our team moves out into the open where targets are awaiting._

_First up, a simple thrust._

Ryan went up to the first dummy, then pulled back his spear and jammed it as hard as he could into it. The spear completely impaled the dummy, even exiting out the back.

_Next, Ryan will demonstrate a spear throw with the same weapon._

After Ryan had gotten his spear back, he looked at the further target, then took careful aim before throwing the spear like a javelin. Said projectile whistled through the air before embedding itself in the dummy, the point of the spearhead sticking out the target's back.

_Finally, Ryan pulls a move never before seen on this show: he tries the spear out on horseback._

Now, Ryan was ready for the next target. Riding atop a chocolate-brown steed, he gave his mount the go and galloped for the target. On getting within range, he thrust out with his spear, and his weapon went almost halfway through the target.

"There are so many things I could talk about, damage-wise, but that spear is going through vital organs, the spine, and the blood would be pouring everywhere." Ray said, waggling the horseback spear.

"So, anywhere that thing hits is a kill shot?" Lunatic asked.

"That or an immobilizing blow due to the amount of muscle damage it will cause." Ray corrected.

"There is a slight problem with your weapon." Haldir pointed out, "And it's the fact that it's purely a thrusting weapon. If you miss with that thrust, an elf will easily get past it and land any kind of blow."

_The spear is a lethal weapon, but the elves say they have something better._

Haldir pulled out a long polearm with a curved, smooth blade tipped with a backward-curving hook.

_The Bill: four feet long, it can keep the enemy at bay or even dismount an enemy on horseback._

Bill:  
Size: 4ft  
Weight: 6lbs  
Substance: Wood handle, steel blade

"The Bill is a far more adaptive weapon than a spear." Legolas said, showing off the weapon, "You can hook your enemy with the back end of the blade, slash them with the curved blade, and keep your enemy away with the sweeping motion."

_To test the bill's killing power, the team sets up a gel torso the same density as human flesh and bone._

"Alright, Haldir, you ready?" TL called.

"Yes."

"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!"

Haldir swung the blade of the bill at the dummy's torso, leaving a gaping wound in the blade's wake. He then turned it around to do a back-swing at the dummy's face, planting the hook end of the blade deep into the dummy's temple.

"The first strike is right here, scarring the ribcage, but after that comes the real damage." Ray said, pointing out the large gash, "This would have severed an artery and cut through the liver and lungs."

"What about that hook attack right there?" Lunatic asked.

"It's a kill shot. Duh?" Ray answered, "It not only gets into the braincase, it severs the temple's blood vessels, which are essential to keeping a human being alive."

"Well, it's a nice slash and a good headshot, but it's ridiculous." Peter said in disbelief before holding up a helmet, "You won't be doing any damage to us when we have a good metal helmet on."

_So, which warrior's mid-range weapon gets the advantage?_

"Spear versus Bill…it's a tough one." TL said, obviously torn, "Both were instant kill shots, but I have to give the edge to the Bill because it's more than a thrusting weapon. The spear can pretty much bring down whatever it hits, but its attack is predictable."

_The edge, in mid-range weapons, goes to the Mirkwood Elf._

_But our experts feel that their way of combat defines why they should win._

"How many people go into a war EXPECTING to die?" Peter asked, "Narnian warriors would gladly give their lives for their land, for their friends, and for Aslan."

"Mirkwood elves are seen, by humans, as someone proud or arrogant. That's not true." Legolas put out, "We know full-well that we could die in battle, so we think carefully and act quickly before we make our move."

_Now, both warriors prepare to launch their long-range assault as bow meets bow._

_The Narnian Standard Bow: not too short and not too long, it fires arrows at a range perfect for battle._

Standard Bow:  
Size: 4ft  
Weight: 3lbs  
Substance: Maplewood with steel arrowheads

"This is a standard Narnian bow." Ryan said, everyone outside, "Its size is perfect for combat, in my opinion."

"So, what's the effective range of this weapon? How far out will you be before you fire?" Lunatic asked.

"From fifty feet, you can hit anything." Ryan answered.

_At our range, Ryan is given three moving targets and nine arrows. His goal: hit all the targets with these nine arrows alone._

"Ready, Ry?" TL asked.

"Yes, sir." Ryan answered, bow at the ready.

"GO!"

Ryan knocked his first arrow, then took careful aim at a moving target. A twitch of his fingers sent the arrow flying forward, hitting the target just inches from the center. He pulled back a second one and fired again, but he had hesitated and it hit the target's left side. Moving on to a different target, he strung another arrow and fired, this one hitting more accurately.

After a few more strings of the bow, Ryan nodded in satisfaction. "That good enough for ya?"

"I'll say so, Ry." Ray said, inspecting the targets, "You hit several of these targets, almost dead-on at that. But I noticed that, on one target, you went a little too off-center. So, that guy could still fight back."

"Our shots wouldn't have been off." Haldir stated, "We could get better shooting on a moving target if we were moving away from them. And to make things better, we'll be farther away, too."

_Mirkwood answers Narnia's archery with the Elvish Longbow: its great length adds more distance to its fired arrows._

Elvish Longbow:  
Size: 5ft  
Weight: 6lbs  
Substance: Elvish wood and rope, steel arrowheads

"Wow, that's considerably larger than the Narnian bow." Ray said as Legolas showed him the bow, "What's the effective range of this thing?"

"About seventy feet for an accurate shot." Legolas answered, "But an elf can shoot a hundred feet with minimal training."

_Legolas is put to the test with two challenges. First up, he will fire an arrow from on foot, aiming for a single target at ninety feet._

Legolas pulled back his arrow, then let it fly. The arrow soared through the air like a bird before coming down and hitting the target dead-on. Legolas had not missed the bullseye by a centimeter.

_Next, Legolas is put on horseback to shoot three moving targets and is given nine arrows to do the job._

"Ready, Legolas?" TL called.

"I'm ready." Legolas answered from atop a white steed.

"Three…two…one…GO!"

Legolas gave his horse a good kick with his heels and the mount galloped forward. Legolas strung an arrow, then aimed at the first target and fired. The arrow almost hit the bullseye, and the fact that Legolas was moving AWAY from the targets made it even more impressive.

Legolas circled around, then nailed the second target with another arrow from his longbow. In no time at all, and even faster than the Narnians, he had landed all his arrows in a target: three in each one.

"Nice handiwork here, Legolas." TL said, "You've got accuracy and range on your side, and you're moving away from your target yet still able to hit your target."

_After testing each other's mettle on archery, which warrior gets the advantage?_

"Narnian Standard Bow vs. Elvish Long Bow: this is a tough one. The Narnians have a bow they're able to load and fire quickly, but the Elvish bow could strike from almost double the range of the Narnians and they were able to hit from afar or on the move. Edge to the Mirkwood Elf this time.

_The Elvish Long Bow gives the Mirkwood Elf the edge in long-range weapons._

_But Team Narnia is ready to show off its most devastating weapon yet, and the elves will counter with a close-quarter weapon that could put Narnia's armor down._

_

* * *

_

In a clash between Narnian King and Mirkwood Elf, only one can emerge victorious. But who will remain standing? Who will lie dead on the ground?

"Mirkwood Elves take a little TOO long to think things out." Ryan put out, "By the time they CAN think straight, we'll be in their face and cutting them to pieces."

"Mirkwood Elves have been living for hundreds, maybe even thousands, of years. And how long do humans last in Narnia? Seventy? Eighty?" Haldir asked.

_So far, Mirkwood has a problem. In close-range, their blade didn't cut through the Narnian's armor. But now they claim to have a weapon that can; one that's hard to make and one that elves carry with them wherever they go._

_The Elvish Dagger: forged from metals that were enhanced by elvish magic, it's armor's worst nightmare._

Elvish Dagger:  
Size: 10in  
Weight: 1lb  
Substance: Elvish steel

"This dagger, in the hands of an elf, is one of the most dangerous weapons around." Legolas put out, "It's made of stronger metals than those used to make armor and your average sword."

"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is, pointy-ears?" Ryan asked, "I don't want a simple dagger wound. I want to see you go through our armor, only THEN will it be a realistic test."

_Wanting to prove their point, Team Mirkwood is given a gel torso with a chest plate worthy of Narnia. Can the dagger pierce the armor and kill the man wearing it?_

Legolas approached the chestplate, then took a practice on how he would try to attack his armored target.

"Ready, Legolas?" TL called.

"Yes."

"Three! Two! One! GO!"

Legolas darted in, then slammed the dagger's point into the chest plate. The elvish metal pierced the steel chestplate like a pencil through paper.

"Wow…" Lunatic said in amazement, "You pierced his armor."

_The dagger pierces the armor, but was it a kill shot?_

Legolas removed the dagger to find that the tip of his blade had artificial blood dyeing it red.

Taking off the chest plate, Ray noticed a small, but very noticeable hole in the dummy's front.

"So, this blade pierced the armor and went in about two inches. That's enough to cause severe bleeding." Ray stated, "It's not an instant kill shot, but it'd definitely be a crippling blow."

"You hear that, elves?" Ryan asked, "We're still alive and ready to take your legs out from under you."

"Then we'll just take better aim and take out your heart." Haldir corrected.

_Team Narnia, however, is ready to unleash their deadliest weapon yet._

"This oughta knock 'em on their seats." Ryan said, holding up a heavy-looking bludgeoning weapon, then chuckled evilly.

_Narnia answers the call with the Mace: a four-foot pole topped with an iron ball laden with iron spikes._

Mace:  
Size: 4ft  
Weight: 12lbs  
Substance: Wood, iron head

"THIS is the deadliest close-range weapon in our arsenal." Peter explained, handing Lunatic the mace.

"WHOA!" Lunatic said, laughing, "That's heavy stuff."

"It's basically a wrecking ball that you hold in your hand." Ryan explained, "This will crunch armor, bones, and even shields."

_To test the mace's destructive power, Ryan takes aim at a realistic target: a ballistics gel torso topped with a Mirkwood helmet._

Ryan stepped up to the bat (which was just in front of his target, then pulled back the mace.

"Ready, Ry?" Ray asked.

"Yessir."

"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!"

With a roar, Ryan raised the mace over his head, then slammed it down on the dummy's helmeted head. With a resounding CLANG, the dummy lurched backward and, much to everyone's surprise, stayed at an odd angle.

_The damage is DEVASTATING._

"There are SO many things I could point out about this strike, but that one strike alone dented this elvish helmet, pierced it in several places thanks to those spikes, and broke this guy's neck in one go." Ray said, analyzing the odd angle the neck was at, "And it certainly hit the skull pretty hard."

"So, if this thing hits an arm or leg, it's gonna break. Head or neck, then you're a dead man." Lunatic summed up.

"Y'know what? Ditch the knife. I'm going all mace on this one.

_The mace gives the special edge to the Narnian King._

_With our battle data gathered and our testing complete, it's time to see who is the Deadliest Warrior._

"Bring your best, Narnians." Haldir challenged, "You'll need it."

"Neither of us will give an INCH." Ryan confirmed, "This will be the most impressive battles this show has ever seen."

_

* * *

_

With our battle data, it's time to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior.

_A courageous and adamant Narnian King vs. a tactical, accurate Mirkwood Elf._

_We tested four weapons of Narnia's ruler: the Broadsword, Spear, Standard Bow, and Mace._

_We also tested four Elvish weapons: the Falchion sword, Bill, Elvish Longbow, and Elvish Dagger._

_In close-range weapons, the Narnian's broadsword hacked past the Mirkwood's falchion._

"The falchion is a fast and efficient sword, but it failed to cut through chain mail or plate. The broadsword will carve into you even if you're wearing chain mail as the elf is."

Edge: Narnian King

_In mid-range weapons, our experts had to choose between the Narnian Spear and the Mirkwood Bill._

"I'm giving the edge to the bill. The spear will definitely take down whatever it hits, but it's a one-dimensional weapon. The bill is multi-functional and it will take a rider off his horse, so that's more power to the elf."

Edge: Mirkwood Elf

_In long-range weapons, both Narnian and Mirkwood proved their might with a bow and arrow._

"Narnian bows are quick on the draw and easy to fire, but the Mirkwood Longbow can shoot farther and with more accuracy. I'm giving the edge to the latter of the two."

Edge: Mirkwood Elf

_And for special weapons, the Narnian mace went up against the Elvish dagger._

"The dagger did something I didn't expect: it broke through the Narnian King's armor. But the mace is one-hit-one-guy-down. I'm giving it to the mace."

Edge: Narnian King

_To prevent the battle from being won by a lucky shot, Lunatic runs the battle a thousand times._

_It will be a battle of opposites…_

_Bravery…_

(A Narnian King gets in front of an injured ally before slaying a minotaur.)

_Versus Intellect_

(A Mirkwood Elf takes a knife before throwing it at an orc, lodging the blade in its throat.)

_Adamant…_

(A Narnian King puts a shield up, letting a goblin slam into him, before gutting him with a sword.)

_Versus Lightning-Fast_

(A Mirkwood Elf slays an orc, then spins around to slash down another one.)

Lunatic typed a key on his board and the battle began.

-the fight—

The sound of hooves filled the air as two horses came to a clearing. A white steed carried a blonde elf warrior while a black one carried an armored, crimson-wearing knight of Narnian Royalty.

The Narnian was rather young, possibly mid-twenties, and he lowered his visor before taking up a spear. He kicked his horse's sides and he was galloping forward.

The Elf mirrored his enemy, sending his white steed galloping towards his opponent. Unlike his opponent, though, he didn't have a spear on him. Instead, he had his trusted bow.

At thirty yards, both made a move. The Narnian pulled back his spear before throwing it at his horseback-riding enemy. The spear narrowly missed his enemy, but the elf pulled back an arrow before firing at his enemy.

Direct hit.

The arrow had hit the king right in his right side. It wasn't serious, but it was certainly sudden enough to knock him off his mount.

The Narnian groaned as he slowly got to his feet, then took out the arrow. Reaching back, he pulled out his own bow and arrow, strung a projectile, then waited. As soon as his enemy was in range, he took aim.

The elf fired another arrow, but the king saw this coming and sidestepped it before firing his own arrow. The arrow missed the elf, but it wasn't aiming for the rider.

It was aimed at his horse.

The horse was down in an instant, an arrow in its throat, and it took the Mirkwood Elf with it. The elf grunted as he freed himself from his mount and got to his feet, taking a bill from his dead mount's side.

There to meet him was a charging Narnian. Acting fast, the elf took up his bill and countered his charging enemy's roar with a cold look. The Narnian had a mace in hand and looked just about ready to smash his enemy in two.

The elf sidestepped the first swing from the Narnian's mace, then took a thrust with his bill. The Narnian also sidestepped the attack and took another swing, but the Mirkwood hooked it in mid-swing and maneuvered it away, causing it to slam into the ground. The return swing caught the king with the hooked end of the blade, piercing the chain mail beneath his scarlet, lion symbol robe.

The Narnian King momentarily retreated a bit, and thought of a handy trick. The Mirkwood took a swing at him, intent on putting another hole in the king, but the Narnian was ready this time. He pulled back his mace before slamming it into the elf's blade. The sheer force not only threw the blade off-course, it splintered the bill's shaft.

The elf flew to the side at the sheer force of his breaking weapon, landing on the ground with an audible thud. The Narnian was hot on his heels, though, mace raised for a strike that would have turned the elf's face inside-out.

The elf rolled at the last second, however, and the mace only struck the soil. Reaching to his belt, the elf pulled out a dagger and jammed it into the Narnian's armored calf, piercing the plate completely.

The Narnian King roared in pain and the elf reached out with its legs to kick his enemy away. The King dropped his mace as the Elf rolled back to his feet.

The Elf and Narnian decided there and then to get down and dirty. Both unsheathed their signature blades: the Narnian's broadsword and the Mirkwood's falchion.

The Narnian roared as he charged in, headlong, and swung his sword as hard as he could at the Mirkwood. The elf blocked, then took a strike at his own only to meet the Narnian's own signature blade.

The two clashed steel, each hit coming dangerously close to catching the other's owner. The Narnian brought his blade slamming into the elf's before pushing his lighter enemy backward.

The elf ducked away from the Narnian's swipe, then slashed at his chest. The falchion tore through the Narnian's robe, but the chainmail saved the king from what would have been a fatal strike.

The Narnian looked at his robe, then at his enemy. In his eyes, he had just violated the image of Aslan the great lion. And right there and then, he was about to pass his own judgment.

The Narnian King roared again as he swung his sword, only to meet a sharp parry. The elf maneuvered the sword away, then slammed his falchion onto the king's helmet, putting a sizeable dent in it.

The king stumbled back, then thought of one thing. If it failed, it would cost him EVERYTHING.

The king clashed swords with his enemy, then pushed him backward again.

If this didn't work…

The elf, having apparently learned his lesson from last time, shifted his weight and the king seemed to uncomfortably lose his forward-going momentum. The elf raised his sword, ready to hack the king in his back.

But the king turned to meet him, roared, and brought his sword in a sideways sweep that connected with the elf's knee.

The elf howled in pain as the broadsword almost amputated his leg. The Mirkwood dropped his sword, then fell to the ground, clutching his leg.

The Narnian stood over his agonized enemy, then held his sword point-down and impaled his enemy. The broadsword easily pierced the chain mail that the elf had relied on, and the elvish warrior coughed up blood from ruptured organs before going as limp as a rag.

The Narnian removed his blade, cleaned it on the grass, then raised his blade in the air and shouting two words.

"FOR ASLAN!"

-end-

Winner: Narnian King

"The Narnian won because he had better armor and weapons designed to take out armored enemies." Lunatic explained, "The Elves were really more used to taking out less-armored enemies and didn't have enough protection to save them from the brutal weapons of the king."

_But it was close: out of a thousand battles, the Narnian won five hundred and twenty-four times._

Narnian kills…  
Broadsword: 195  
Spear: 80  
Standard Bow: 69  
Mace: 180  
All-in-all Kills: 524

_The elves weren't far behind with four-hundred seventy-six kills. Their deadliest weapon was their longbow, but it wasn't enough._

Mirkwood kills…  
Falchion: 97  
Bill: 161  
Longbow: 197  
Elvish Dagger: 21  
All-in-all Kills: 476

"Superior weapons, superior armor, and the tactics of the ultimate cramming lessons: the best man won." Ray went on.

"I had to admit that I was kind of worried for the Narnian. But after seeing their arsenals, the Elves really were more used to taking their enemies out from a distance." TL said, "Once the Narnians closed the distance, which they possibly could do, it was their game all the way. Way to go, Narnia."

"Perhaps a rematch is in order?" Haldir suggested, "If you fought us in the woods of Lothlorien, it might have been a different outcome."

"I respect Mirkwood Elves." Ryan Huffman said, "But in terms of our loyalty and learning capabilities, we are the deadliest warriors."

(A Narnian King points his sword forward as he shouts, "NARNIA!")

_With apologies to Lord of the Rings fans…_

_Next time:_

_State Alchemists: the lethal, gunslinging shocktroopers that brought an end to the Ishval Civil War._

_Wutai Rebels: ragtag guerrilla warriors that fought against Shinra and aided the victory for the planet._

_Stay tuned…_


	11. State Alchemist vs Wutai Rebel

**State Alchemists**

(A man in blue uniform aims with a submachine gun.)

The elite alchemists that conquered a nation and brought order to their native country.

(A group of State Alchemists return fire from Ishval rogues.)

**Wutai Rebels**

(A samurai-dressed soldier swings with a halberd before pointing it like a gun.)

The ragtag ninja nation that fought against the Shinra Corp. for the freedom of the planet.

(Wutai Rebels appear from behind a gateway and gun down a few Shinra infantrymen.)

_WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?_

_To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe-to-toe._

_No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is…_

_**The Deadliest Warrior**_

In the fight club, two types of soldier practiced either their aim or their close-quarter martial arts. One team used Japanese arts while the other kept things more basic with boxing.

_Welcome to the fight club in Southern Los Angeles. We've gathered a team of doctors, scientists, and combat experts to decide who will win in this force-against-rebel matchup._

_State Alchemists: the destructive force of Amestris that leveled the people of Ishval._

_VS…_

_Wutai Rebels: the ninja guerillas that fought against the mighty Shinra corporation._

**Wutai Rebels  
****Height: 5'6"  
****Weight: 134lbs  
****Gear: 12lbs  
****Armor: Plate**

**State Alchemists  
****Height: 5'7"  
****Weight: 140lbs  
****Gear: 9lbs  
****Armor: None**

A white hedgehog inspected a piece of Wutai armor before placing it on a dummy.

_Biomedical engineer, __**TLSoulDude**__, will use technology to assess the damage both warriors can dish out._

"It's a game of conquer we've got here. One group took down a nation while another fought to defend themselves from a similar group." TL explained, "I'm looking forward to the tactics they'll bring to take each other down."

A man with a buzz-cut and a black beret took a hold of a giant, four-bladed weapon that looked like a throwing star.

_An ex-SOLDIER who is familiar with weapons and trauma, __**Sergeant Reynol**__, will provide the damage both teams' weapons will do to live targets._

"If they're alive, I'll know. If they're dead, I'll know. Even if they're stunned, I guarantee you I'll know how stunned they are." Ray said with a nod.

A redheaded, spiky-haired kid typed in a few codes for a computer.

_Computer wiz, __**Lunatic 121**__, will gather battle data the two warriors will put out._

"For this matchup, we've got guns, we've got explosives, and devastating weapons in all forms." Lunatic explained.

_The data will be installed into a computer developed by Slytherine Studios to decide the victor. To prevent a lucky bullet from snatching victory, Lunatic readies a five-on-five squad scuffle to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior._

_On the side of the legendary ninja clan, our two experts are confident that the rebels will take down their newest oppressors._

A black-haired girl with a headband, short shorts, and a black tank-top took up a large star before slinging it over her shoulder.

_Supporting the Wutai rebels is a native of Wutai and a skilled warrior, __**Yuffie Kisaragi**__._

"If you're thinking about fighting Wutai renegades, it'll be the last thing you do." Yuffie stated, her hands on her hips, "I should know; I'm their strongest warrior!"

A man with a red mantle, long, black hair, and a metal claw on his arm took up a unique-looking gun.

_A former Turk and professional gunman, __**Vincent Valentine**__, will test the weapons that Wutai were renowned for._

"It took SOLDIER operatives to bring down Wutai." Vincent explained, "If they were that strong, how will these State Alchemists bring them down?"

_Wutai, for many years, was the one country that the Shinra Electric Company had no control over. Fighting for independence, the Wutai often launched armed attacks against their Shinra invaders, going so far as to actually infiltrate Midgar._

"We would NOT give up." Yuffie said, raising a fist, "We had our land taken away from us, so we had to fight. We HAD to band together. And it was thanks to us that AVALANCHE stood any chance against Shinra."

_After a war, the nation was defeated, but several Wutai warriors continued to rebel, finding refuge in secretive areas all across the planet._

_But what about the opposition, the State Alchemists?_

A blonde woman with her hair tied in a messy bun took practice aim with some kind of submachine gun.

_A Lieutenant of the Amestris army unit, __**Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye**__, is an expert in all forms of firearms from long-range rifles to short-range pistols._

"We've faced rebels before and found them to be like any other group." Riza said, a rifle slung over her shoulder, "They can keep coming as much as they like. They won't take us down."

A man with black hair put on a glove with a strange symbol on the back, then flexed his hand.

_**Colonel Roy Mustang** is one of the highest-ranked Alchemists in Amestris under the name of the Flame Alchemist._

"In my book, rebels are like roach infestations." Mustang recalled, "They keep coming, you keep killing them, and they don't really learn their lesson. We'll make sure they do this time."

_The State Alchemists were the driving force and lead scientists of the Amestris State Military. During a civil war with the people of Ishval, State Alchemists proved to be the most effective warriors on the battlefield with their intelligence and weapons training._

"Our soldiers weren't really getting anywhere in this war, so we had to call in State Alchemists: the Delta Force of our army." Riza explained, "When the Alchemists came in, the job got done instantly. They're THAT powerful."

_State Alchemists have three rules to abide by: Obey the Government, Do not create gold, and Do not create humans. Their job is to protect the land and stop anyone who dares defile it._

_To defeat the criminally insane, State Alchemists brought in a nasty close-quarter firearm…_

_The Luger P08 pistol: an accurate semi-automatic handgun made to pick off enemies accurately and effectively._

Luger P08:  
Size: 9in  
Weight: 2lbs  
Rounds: 8  
Ammo: 9x19mm  
Range: 150ft

At the shooting range, Riza held up a pistol for the team to look over. "This is a trademark pistol of our country." She explained, "It's small, easily-concealed, but accurate at up to a hundred feet."

"Any interesting features about this weapon?" Lunatic asked as he looked the gun over.

"Well, it has semi-automatic features, so it will put out about three or four rounds of burst-fire into whatever you point it at." Hawkeye answered.

Riza took the Luger in hand, then took aim at a target designed to look like the torso of a human. With just a movement of her trigger finger, she shot it in the chest. A few more shots rang through the air with a grand total of eight holes in the target.

"Reel it in, boys." Ray said, wanting to see what would've happened.

"Nice accuracy, Lieutenant." TL said as he looked the holes over, "You kinda strayed a bit to the left over here, but still, nice shooting."

"But how will a guy be feeling after this?" Riza asked.

"Oh, he's done." TL answered with a nod.

"Maybe a more realistic target is required?" Riza suggested.

_For a more accurate kill, the team sets up a synthetic skull the same density as human bone._

Riza took aim as TL started the countdown.

"Three…two…one…GO!"

BANG!

The bullet struck the skull right in the forehead, causing the back of the head to seemingly explode outward.

"Very nice, alchemists. Very nice." Yuffie said, "Now I think it's our turn to show what we're made of."

_The Wutai Rebels also packed a nasty pistol of their own…_

_The Turk Pistol/Bayonet combo: stolen from agents of Shinra, it packs a one-two punch._

Turk Pistol w/Bayonet:  
Size: 11in  
Weight:3.6lbs  
Rounds: 9  
Ammo: 9mm  
Range: 90ft

"This weapon was made primarily for assassination." Yuffie said, holding up the pistol, "The best use is to knife your enemy in the back with its bayonet, then fire and make sure they're dead."

"So, what are Wutai Warriors doing with a Turk weapon?" Ray asked, eyebrow raised.

"What do you think they did with those Shinra infantrymen? They would steal their weapons and use them for themselves." Vincent answered.

Vincent was up next as he took aim with the Turk Pistol, taking aim at a similar target as Riza did. With just a twitch of his finger, the bullet flew out of the pistol's barrel and put a hole through the target's chest area. A few more pulls of the trigger and three more holes appeared in the target's abdomen. And as soon as Vincent emptied the gun's clip, the team reeled it in.

"The gunshots are a little more stray, but this guy is still down." TL said, looking the target over.

"Shooting isn't all you do with that thing." Yuffie piped up, "Whaddya think that blade's for?"

_Taking things outside, Team Wutai prepares to demonstrate the pistol/bayonet combo's deadly one-two punch. Vincent's target: a ballistics gel torso._

"So, here's what you're gonna do, Vince." TL explained, "I want a jab from the bayonet, and then I want you to fire. Alright?"

Vincent nodded, then got into position as everyone else put a bit of distance between them and the test site.

"Three…two…one…GO!"

Vincent lunged forward, plunging the pistol bayonet deep into the gel torso's chest cavity. And with a pull of his trigger finger, a hole was blown in the torso.

"We have unbelievable damage here." Ray said, inspecting the wound, "The blade of this bayonet actually pierced a lung, which will probably hinder breathing, but the deathblow is the bullet wound."

Ray put a finger into the wound, then went around and saw an exit wound. "This also went through the lung, but it almost severed the spinal chord. He's down for the count and will only be conscious for a few seconds."

_So, which warrior's pistol gets the edge?_

"Luger vs. Turk pistol…this is a tough one." Lunatic said, "But I have to give the edge to the Turk pistol/Bayonet combo. It has a good effective range and it doubles up as a close-quarter weapon. If you get caught once with that, it's a guarantee kill shot."

_The edge in pistols goes to the Wutai Rebels._

_But now it's time for both teams to return fire with their preferred submachine guns._

_The State Alchemists bring in the MP18 submachine gun: a lethal, rapid-fire machine of death._

MP 18:  
Size: 32.8in  
Weight: 9.2lbs  
Rounds: 32  
Ammo: 9x19mm  
Range: 150ft  
RPM: 500

"This is a favorite of anyone in the military." Riza said, holding it up in a fire-ready position, "This was one of the first submachine guns invented and it changed warfare forever."

_Wutai brings in the Halberd Rifle: a semi-automatic gun disguised as a polearm with just as much lethality._

Halberd Rifle:  
Size: 4.5ft  
Rounds: 32  
Ammo: 9x19mm  
Range: 120ft  
RPM: 470

"Wutai rebels loved this weapon." Yuffie said, holding one up, "When people see them using this, they usually think of someone too primitive to use guns. That is, until they were pointed at and 'bang'. Last mistake they ever make."

_To test the efficiency of both these lethal firearms, our team has set up two sites with moving targets. Their objective: to open fire on the moving targets in thirty seconds._

_First up is the MP 18…_

Riza took up the MP 18 and introduced the team to it. "This was a preferred weapon in the Ishval Civil War. It scared the living daylight out of all those who had never seen it."

"Is it reliable? Does it jam a lot?" Lunatic asked.

"Nope. It doesn't jam a lot." Mustang said, shaking his head.

"How about accuracy?" TL asked.

"From fifty feet, you can kill anything." Riza answered.

A few seconds later, Riza was peering down the length of the weapon's barrel, aiming at a foam torso.

"Three…two…one…FIRE!"

The MP 18 opened fire and the sheer rate of bullets hitting the foam torso was enough to shred it, turning the once-white dummy a deep crimson.

_Now that that test is settled, it's time for the State Alchemists to open fire on a more realistic setting. Riza is given a single clip containing thirty-two rounds and the goal of wiping out targets with Wutai armor._

Riza took aim, and as soon as the targets began moving, she opened fire. She easily pelted one with a hail of bullets, then swiftly moved on to the next one and pumped it with lead, too. She quickly adjusted her rifle, then proceeded to gun down the last two standing targets.

The team went down to inspect what damage had been done to the targets. What they saw was devastating.

"THIS is absolute carnage. This shot took a guy's arm off while one shot-WHOA!" Ray said as he saw a dummy that looked like it had its head blown open. "The bullet went through this guy's nose and blew its head open with just that one shot. Every one of these targets is dead, no question about it. The accuracy and range of that weapon is a deadly combo."

_But now it's Team Wutai's turn to unleash their own deadly assault with the Halberd Rifle…_

Vincent loaded the rifle, then took aim at a fresh dummy.

"FIRE!"

Vincent pulled the trigger once to unleash a three-round burst of bullets. The bullets created multiple holes in the foam torso, which immediately began to spew blood from its wounds.

_Vincent unloads the gun's magazine in just ten pulls of the trigger._

_Now for a more realistic test…_

"Alright, Vincent, here's the gist. You're going to go through an obstacle course this time and use any method you deem good enough." TL said, showing the gunslinger the course.

"You got it." Vincent said with a nod.

_Vincent is given three targets and one magazine containing thirty rounds._

"Ready, Vince?" TL called.

"Yes, sir." Vincent answered.

"GO FOR IT!"

Vincent sprang into action, sprinting into the battlefield. The first target, he forgot about guns and brought the blade slamming into its neck. The head almost came off the torso's shoulders, but Vincent wasn't done there.

He moved on and aimed the rifle at the second target, which wasn't too far away. A set of holes appeared in its midsection and face before Vincent moved on. He proceeded to jam the halberd's blade into the dummy's midsection before emptying the clip of every other bullet in his clip.

"This weapon isn't as effective in range and fire rate, but in terms of versatility, it's also a lethal weapon." Ray said, looking the torsos over, "You've nearly decapitated this guy with the blade of your weapon, but some of the bullets are bit off. This shot to the gut was only a graze, so he's still able to keep shooting you."

_Now that we've tested the MP 18 and Halberd Rifle, which long-range weapon gets the edge?_

"I'm giving it all to the MP 18." Lunatic pointed out, "It may only be a gun, but it has a longer range than the halberd rifle, shoots with greater precision, and it also has full-auto features. That's where I'm putting my money."

_The State Alchemists take the edge with the Halberd Rifle._

_

* * *

_

In a battle between State Alchemist and Wutai Rebels, both pack their unique styles.

_Wutai Rebels use hit-and-run tactics. They attacked their Shinra invaders, did as much damage as they could, then retreated before any serious casualties could be caused to their team._

"We knew that we couldn't afford to lose too many troops." Yuffie explained, "So, hit 'em hard, fall back, then pummel them again if they have the guts to come back."

_State Alchemists were Amestris' steamroller. They advanced on their enemies to drive them out and kill any who were too close._

"What happened was that the Ishval were relying too much on their hideouts." Roy Mustang stated, "Once we found these hideouts and got behind them, we flattened any who chose to remain standing."

_To drive enemies out of hiding, both could rely on their powerful explosives._

"Yeah, this'll give 'em a shock they won't forget." Yuffie snickered as she held up a packet.

_The Gate Mine: a concealed explosive that's a guaranteed kill._

Gate Mine:  
Size: 6" in diameter  
Materials: Explosives, iron, lead  
Blast Radius: 9ft

"This is what Wutai residents would use to narrow down the number of invaders to the temples." Yuffie said at the firing range, "It takes only a few kilograms of pressure to detonate this thing. And last I checked, a human weighs more than enough to trigger it."

"So, how would you Wutai use this bomb?" Ray asked.

"First off, we'd purposefully take the long way around." Yuffie answered, "Then we'd plant these mines in a quote-unquote 'shortcut'. The invaders would see us going down the hallway and follow us right into the trap."

_To test the lethality of the Gate Mine, we've placed three dummies near a rock arch to stand in for an escape gateway._

_Yuffie sets the mine in place…_

Yuffie dug a small trench, then planted a small mine in it before covering it in dirt and sand.

"Ready with the mine?" TL asked into a portable radio link. On receiving a positive sign, he began the countdown.

"Three…two…one…Go!"

BOOM!

The mine created an explosion that kicked up dust and sent the closest target flying backward. The other two, however, were still standing.

The team was in the test zone in an instant. TL picked up one target's leg…which had been amputated from the body.

"Classic mine damage here." TL said, holding up the severed limb, "But these guys are the ones I'm interested in. I've got one guy who's probably dead and one guy who may have been unscathed."

"So, it's a kill, a questionable kill, and one survivor." Ray added up.

"But what kind of army would use mines?" Roy asked, "You're putting as much danger to your team as you are to the enemy. Lemme show you a real combat bomb."

_Team Alchemist counters with the Model 24 Stick Grenade: an explosive pole that can be thrown to a safe distance before detonation._

Model 24 Grenade:  
Size: 8in  
Weight: 1lb  
Blast Radius: 15ft

"This is the Model 24 or 'Stick' grenade." Roy said, showing off the simplistic explosive.

"Nice name." Lunatic said with a laugh.

"The difference between that bomb and ours is that we can throw ours up to thirty yards if we're good enough." Mustang went on, "Then we just take cover and let the grenade do its work."

"So, what'll this do to the Wutai Rebels?" TL asked.

"Flush 'em out of their hiding places, that's what." Roy said with a confident nod.

_To stand in for a realistic situation, our team has created a lodge with three Wutai troop stand-ins._

"Ready, Colonel?" TL called.

"Yup." Roy said, then took the ring out of the stick grenade before lobbing it into the door of the lodge.

Roy immediately took cover after that, but the downside was that the team had to wait three seconds before…

BOOM!

Fire and smoke escaped the lodge's doorway and windows and splintered a part of the windowsill.

"Wow…" Lunatic said as he looked over the collapsed torso.

"In enclosed spaces, this is easily your best option in terms of blast radiuses." TL said, looking over one torso which had a complete compressed ribcage, "This guy's down, another one is covered in debris, and the last one is probably best suited for survival: he's closest to the door."

"It's a nice explosion, but it kind of worries me that you have to wait three seconds for it to explode." Ray said, putting out his opinion.

"By the first second, we're aiming." Roy explained, "Second, we're releasing. And by the time that third second passes, the enemy's history."

_So, which explosive gives their team an edge?_

"Gate mine vs. Stick Grenade?" Ray said, "I have to give it to the Gate Mine. The grenade gives your enemy three seconds to get away, but by the time you've fallen into a mine, you're already done. That and the mine can be strategically placed so that your enemy WILL fall into it."

_The Wutai Rebels get the edge in explosive weapons._

_But now it's time for Wutai and Alchemists to unleash their most gruesome weapons yet: spinning, flying blades of death against searing flames of destruction._

_

* * *

_

Tactical Wutai against Destructive Alchemist; who will win and become the deadliest warrior?

"By the time those alchemist guys realize what's going on, we'll already have them in our hands." Yuffie stated.

"Hiding enemies? Please, we've dealt with that so many times that it's not even fun anymore." Hawkeye said with the 'oh puh-leeze' tone.

_We've tested their weapons, but now they're ready to take off the gloves._

"This'll get 'em good, wouldn't you say, Vince?" Yuffie asked, holding up a large, four-bladed star.

"Hm…it just might." Vincent said with a slow nod.

_Wutai's Windmill Shuriken: four blades on a circular disk that can be thrown to become a flying buzz-saw._

Windmill Shuriken:  
Size: 3ft in diameter  
Weight: 2lbs  
Range: 40ft  
Substance: Chrome Steel

"This is my favorite weapon of all." Yuffie said, out at the range, "I guarantee you that anything this thing hits…" She drew her fingers across her throat.

"So, how will you be throwing this thing?" TL asked.

"I have two ways of doing it. The first is that I can throw it in a vertical fashion and get them in the back." Yuffie explained, "And the second is horizontally so I can cut their legs out."

"We'd like to see both actions." Ray said with a nod.

_The first step, throw the windmill shuriken overhand. The target: a foam torso…_

"GO!"

With a war cry, Yuffie threw the shuriken like a boomerang…only far more deadly. The shuriken spun through the air and landed one of its sharp blades in the torso's midsection. But the damage got worse as the blade just above it, due to its sheer weight, continued moving forward and grazed the target's shoulder.

"THIS is amazing for a throwing weapon." Reynol said, trying to tug out the shuriken and having little luck, "The sheer weight of this thing moving forward was amazing. This blade would have carved into vital organs, broke ribs, and maybe even carve into the shoulder muscle."

"And that's not all it can do." Yuffie said, holding up a finger, "I haven't even shown you the horizontal throw yet."

_For the horizontal throw, Yuffie is given three cow legs, three times denser than human tissue._

"GO!"

Yuffie pulled back her shuriken, then threw it like a discus. The spinning, four-bladed star whistled through the air before embedding itself deep into the cow leg's muscle.

"This is thicker than a human leg. That means that, should this thing hit the leg of a human, it very well could amputate the limb." Ray said, looking at how far the blade of the shuriken dug in.

_But team Alchemist is unmoved._

"I wasn't impressed with that throwing star." Roy Mustang stated, clearly, "For the sole reason that you're losing that weapon the minute you throw it. In a firefight, that's the LAST thing you want to do."

_Roy Mustang plans to incinerate the competition with the Ignition Gloves: combined with alchemy, it sets enemies ablaze with controlled fire._

Ignition Gloves:  
Size: Custom-fitted  
Weight: Under a pound  
Material: Cloth-fabric metals  
Range: 50ft

"These are my signature weapons." Mustang said, pulling on a pair of white gloves with alchemic circles on their backs, "They're actually made of metal that, if scraped together like rubbing my fingers together, they'll create a spark. Then I change the chemicals of the air into a much more flammable substance and project these flames outward."

"And how'll this be used on the Wutai Rebels?" Lunatic asked.

"Like the grenade back there, it'll flush them out of their hiding places." Roy answered.

_Out in the range, our team has rigged a small hut with one Wutai standing guard._

"Alright, you ready, Roy?" TL called.

"Ready."

"THREE! TWO! ONE! LIGHT 'EM UP!"

Colonel Mustang, with just one twitch of his fingers, a streak of flames burst out towards the hut, setting the wooden structure ablaze.

_The fort bursts into flame, but the damage is only beginning._

Roy then set the Wutai dummy ablaze with just a movement of his hand.

"WHOA!" TL said in amazement, "You just spiked the guy at over fifteen hundred degrees Fahrenheit!"

"So, you just put the guy in a crematorium, right?" Lunatic asked.

"Basically."

_Colonel Mustang easily incinerates the hut, but can it hold a candle to the Windmill Shuriken?_

"As far as both weapons go, they're a guarantee kill if they hit." Reynol put out, "But in terms of sheer destructive power and reusability, I have to give it to the fire-cloth gloves. Fire is almost organic: it moves around obstacles and even if you get away from the initial blast, the wounds will be devastating. The windmill shuriken, despite its deadly capabilities, is only a one-shot weapon."

_The State Alchemists' Fire-Cloth Gloves gives them the edge in Special Weapons._

_The testing between these two warriors is complete: every weapon and every tactic. It's time to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior._

_

* * *

_

The final battle is at hand between State Alchemist and Wutai Rebel.

_We tested four weapons of the State Alchemist: the MP 18 submachine gun, Luger PO8 pistol, Model 24 Stick Grenade, and Ignition Gloves._

_We also tested four weapons of Wutai's notorious rebels: the Halberd Rifle, Turk Pistol/Bayonet combo, Gate Mine, and Windmill Shuriken._

_In long-range weapons, we tested two fully-automatic weapons: The MP 18 and the Halberd Rifle._

"The halberd rifle is a handy weapon to have, but in terms of range and accuracy, I have to give it to the MP 18 this time."

Edge: State Alchemist

_In mid-range weapons, the Turk Pistol/Bayonet combo was pitted against the Luger P08._

"Both pistols impressed me because they both have the same basic range and accuracy. But when you get in close and use the bayonet of the Turk Pistol, you're a dead man. Edge to the Turk pistol."

Edge: Wutai Rebel

_Next, we put both teams' explosive assaults against each other: Alchemist Grenade vs. Wutai Mine._

"The Model 24 Stick Grenade gives your enemy three seconds to see it and get away from the effective range. Whereas the Gate Mine can be strategically placed so that your enemy WILL fall into it and guarantee a kill."

Edge: Wutai Rebel.

_Finally, both teams put up their most lethal special weapons: Windmill Shuriken and Ignition Gloves_

"The windmill shuriken's killing ability from a distance is stunning, but it's a one-use weapon. The ignition gloves give you plenty more uses and options, and the firepower it puts out is unimaginable."

Edge: State Alchemist

_It will be a battle of opposites._

_Head-on Charge…_

(State Alchemists rush a group of Ishvar soldiers and gun them down)

_VS. Tactical Invasion_

(Wutai Rebels move down a hallway and lure a Shinra infantryman into a mine trap)

_Perseverance…_

(State Alchemists take cover in a trench before lobbing a grenade at the enemy)

_VS. Stealth_

(A Wutai Rebel disguised as an infantryman jams his bayonet into a Turk)

Lunatic pressed the "Enter" key and the battle began.

-the fight—

A group of warriors in samurai-esque plate armor came to the center of a Wutai Temple with a captive in hand. This man had a blue coat, black pants, and scruffy, black hair. The Wutai warriors dragged him to the center where another Wutai warrior, this one with yellow armor in contrast to the others' green, and dropped the captive in front of him.

As the leader in yellow tried to get some kind of information out of the captive, another group, this one in blue coats similar to the captive, silently slunk through the temple with guns at the ready. One was a man with a dirty-blonde buzz-cut, another was a rough-looking black-hair, one was a brunette woman, and another was more a teenager due to his younger looks. They were State Alchemists and the man they were trying to rescue was their leader.

The State Alchemists hid behind a building, but it didn't go unnoticed by the Wutai. One took his halberd rifle and decided to go investigate.

The teen alchemist pulled a stick grenade from his coat, got close to the corner of the building, then lobbed the stick grenade towards the clearing with the Wutai. Unfortunately, the curious one had seen it all.

"Grenade! GRENADE!"

Every Wutai Warrior turned at the word before…

BOOM!

The curious Wutai flew backwards, landing on the ground with a sickening crunch.

Wutai: 4

Alchemists: 5

The Wutai Warriors scattered and the Alchemist Leader, taking advantage of the turmoil, took off for cover. The Wutai Captain saw him and immediately began barking orders to go after him.

The State Alchemists took off down the alleyway and were soon met with their leader. The teen alchemist handed him a pistol, which the leader gladly took…

Suddenly, the hard-looking black-haired alchemist froze up before a gunshot rang through the air. A Wutai had found them and impaled the alchemist with his Turk Pistol/Bayonet combo.

Wutai: 4

Alchemists: 4

The State Alchemists went into a momentary retreat before the brunette woman turned and opened fire on the pistol-wielder with her MP 18, bringing him down. Said Wutai went down with a cry, falling backward

Wutai: 3

Alchemists: 4

The Alchemists quickly tried to find the exit, but a Wutai had spotted them and pulled back a Windmill Shuriken before throwing it at the Alchemist Leader. The teenager, however, had seen it coming and only had enough time to push his leader out of the way.

His cry in pain was all that was heard. The shuriken had embedded itself in his back.

Wutai: 3

Alchemists: 3

The Wutai immediately gave some signal as his fellow rebel and captain arrived on the scene, halberd rifles at the ready.

The Alchemist Leader took out his Luger pistol, then used it to pick off the Wutai who had given away their position. Said rebel fell to the ground with a bullet through his face, and then the Alchemist and his companions made for the exit.

But not before the brunette woman got a graze from the Wutai's rifle and fell with a grunt. She was still alive, but the captain noticed and used the blade of his halberd to stab her through the gut.

Wutai: 2

Alchemists: 2

The State Alchemists made for the exit and, immediately, the buzz-cut Alchemist turned and aimed his MP 18 at a following Wutai. The Wutai Captain took cover, but the other one wasn't as fortunate. With a barrage of bullets, the second Wutai went down for the count.

Wutai: 1

Alchemists: 2

The Alchemists saw the exit and the buzz-cut seemed to want to go first as a precaution. He backtracked to make sure the Wutai Captain didn't follow, but he suddenly stepped on a patch of dirt that looked slightly upturned…

BOOM!

The buzz-cut alchemist flew into the air before coming back down, his leg separated from his body, and his body still.

Wutai: 1

Alchemists: 1

The Alchemist Leader looked at his dead follower, then turned and saw the Wutai Captain coming for him. He made it to the exit and saw a vehicle just to his right. He turned to fire at his oncoming enemy, then took cover behind a dragon statue before making it to the front seat of the vehicle.

There. He saw something in the driver's seat: his trusted ignition gloves.

He immediately opened the door, crawled into the vehicle, holstered his pistol, and slipped on his gloves.

The Wutai Captain approached the vehicle, his halberd rifle at the ready. He definitely saw the Alchemist enter his vehicle. He opened the door, swiftly, and fired.

He had only hit the seat, and the opposite door was wide open.

The Lead Alchemist sprang out from behind the truck and with a twitch of his fingers, sent a stream of fire at the Wutai Captain.

The Wutai Captain howled in agony, the flames eating away at his flesh, until he finally collapsed on the ground.

The State Alchemist looked down on his charbroiled enemy, then raised a fist into the air and shouted, "VICTORY!"

-end-

Winner: State Alchemists

"Out of a thousand battles, the State Alchemists emerged victorious with 635 kills to the Wutai Rebels' 365 kills."

State Alchemist Kills…  
MP 18: 314  
Luger: 65  
Stick Grenade: 46  
Ignition Gloves: 210  
All-in-all kills: 635

Wutai Rebel Kills…  
Halberd Rifle: 145  
Turk Pistol: 56  
Gate Mine: 85  
Windmill Shuriken: 79  
All-in-all kills: 365

"This played highly in favor of their accurate weapons, being able to kill people effectively and not let them get close." Lunatic explained.

"Superior firepower against ineffective armor, the best man won." TL said with a nod.

"OOH!" Yuffie growled, "They only lost because I wasn't in there! If they had Yuffie Kisaragi on their side, those Alchemist guys wouldn't stand a chance!"

"We've proven our point before." Roy Mustang said, showing every hint of satisfaction, "Taking out psychopathic renegades is what State Alchemists do best."

(A State Alchemist shows the back of his hand, which has a transmutation circle inscribed on it.)

_With apologies to FFVII fans everywhere._

_Next Time:_

_A Telmarine: the ruthless conqueror who held Narnia in an iron grip for four-hundred years._

_A Firebender: the tyrannical invaders that ruled the world for a hundred years until the Avatar intervened._

_Stay tuned…_


	12. Telmarine vs Firebender

**A Telmarine**

(A man in a silver war mask takes a few jabs from behind his shield)

The ruthless pirate who unknowingly came to Narnia, conquered the land, and ruled for four hundred years.

(A group of Telmarines attack an unsuspecting group of Narnians, one impaling a centaur on a halberd.)

**A Firebender**

(A man in crimson armor and an expressionless mask takes a few swings with a curved sword)

Driving force of the relentless Fire Nation, which came to conquer their known world and only stopped in the face of legend.

(Firebenders clash with Earth Kingdom soldiers, one of the Earth natives falling victim to a blast of flame.)

_WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?_

_To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe-to-toe._

_No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is…_

The Deadliest WarriorThe fight club was decorated with unique armor, swords ready to clash, and combat necessary for fighting was heard throughout the area.

_In our Los Angeles fight club, tension is rising. We've assembled a team of doctors, scientists, and martial artists to decide who would win between two of the most notorious conquerors ever known._

_The Telmarine: A ruthless and strategic soldier who brought the land of Narnia to its knees._

_VS…_

_The Firebender: The Fire Nation's elite fighting force, who stopped at nothing to conquer all._

**Telmarine:  
****Height: 5' 8"  
****Weight: 154lbs  
****Gear: 44lbs  
****Armor: Steel, Leather, Chain Mail**

**Firebender:  
****Height: 5' 7"  
****Weight: 143lbs  
****Gear: 32lbs  
****Armor: Steel, Leather**

A white hedgehog placed a pressure sensor on a dummy before testing to see if it worked.

_Biomedical scientist and media man, __**TLSoulDude**__, will analyze the force our two conquerors will put out._

"We've got some tough guys coming at us because one guy went unchallenged for four centuries while the other used their intellect and sheer numbers to rule for almost one century." TL explained.

A man with a black beret and military uniform analyzed a slash wound on a gel torso.

_Biologist and weapons expert, __**Sergeant Reynol**__, will analyze the aftereffects of the weapons._

"Where there's swords, bows, any weapons these two are packing, I can guarantee you that there WILL be blood." Ray warned.

A spiky-haired, redheaded ninja typed a few things into a computer.

_Computer wiz, __**Lunatic 121**__, will assess the damage and input it into a specialized computer program to ultimately decide the winner._

"Both sides have a major task ahead of them because they'll have to get through the other's armor if they want any chance of winning."

_In the end, Telmarine will clash with Firebender to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior._

_First off, the Telmarine experts…_

A young man with long, brown hair took a swing with a single-hand sword before raising his shield.

_Telmarine-blooded king of Narnia, __**Caspian the Tenth**__, will demonstrate the weapons the Telmarines will bring to the fight._

"Telmarines were one step ahead of everyone else in terms of technology." Caspian put out, "I may be ashamed of this lineage now, but I still have to face that mere fact."

Another young man, this one with shorter, black hair, practiced shield strikes with a three-foot, circular shield.

_**Edmund Pevensie**__ is a former Narnian King and played a major part in reclaiming Narnia from the Telmarines._

"The Telmarines are as tough as they come." Ed pointed out, "They developed weapons to do maximum damage. Narnia was massacred."

_Telmarines invaded Narnia six hundred years after the Pevensies, or the two kings and two queens, left Narnia while on a hunt. With its royalty in pieces and its inhabitants in chaos, the Telmarines quickly took over and became the dominant race for four-hundred years._

"They had superior technology and armor. Narnians used bows and arrows that couldn't really pierce Telmarine armor." Caspian explained, "The Telmarines, on the other hand, used sheer numbers, broad shields, and lethal weapons to drive out their competition."

_Telmarines used organized formations, powerful armor, and the all-too-destructive catapult to completely annihilate Cair Paravell, eliminating the proof that Narnia once had mighty kings and queens._

_But what of the opposition? What of those supporting the blazing wrath of the Firebender?_

A short, old man with a beard watched a weapons display, all the while…sipping a cup of tea?

_Brother of a former fire-lord and a commander of the Fire Nation army, __**Iroh**__, is a war veteran._

"Are Telmarines great conquerors?" Iroh asked, "I would say so. But I do have to ask if they could conquer multiple lands like the Fire Nation did?"

A young man with a burn wound on his left eye took a pair of swords in hand before performing a complex martial arts move.

_**Prince Zuko**__ is the current ruler of the Fire Nation. Zuko has mastered several forms of sword combat and is proficient in the arms used by the Fire Nation Army._

"For a Firebender, it was either win or die." Zuko explained, "There is no running. Failure is not an option, especially since it could result in death."

_The Fire Nation was one of the four great tribes in the Avatar world, the others being Water Tribe, Earth Kingdom, and Air Nomads. After the death of Avatar Roku, the Fire Nation suddenly became hungry for conquest and, finding the pattern of the Avatars, wiped out the entire Air Nomad country._

"What happened was that the Fire Nation didn't want anyone to stop their conquest." Iroh explained, "The Avatar obviously could, and since the next Avatar was to be an Airbender, they seized their opportunity."

_After the obliteration of almost all of the Air Nomads, the Fire Nation solidified their hold on the world for a century. They only stopped when the Avatar known as Aang brought an end to their reign._

_So, if these two conquerors met on the field of battle, who would dominate the other?_

"It's absolutely no contest." Zuko answered, "When they meet our fire, they'll just be roasted in their armor."

"The Firebender has some nifty tools of the trade, but they're completely outdone in terms of weapons." Edmund shot back.

"I'm giving my pre-game prediction to the Firebender." Lunatic stated, "The fact that they took over the worlds in such a short span of time means that something they did WORKED."

"I have to say that the Telmarine will take this guy down." TL disagreed, "The Firebender isn't armored in the right enough ways to protect himself from the brutal weapons of the Telmarine."

_The pride of Telmarine technology is the Crossbow: capable of firing armor-piercing rounds at a hundred feet._

Crossbow:  
Size: 2ft  
Weight: 2lbs  
Substance: Hardwood, bowstring, iron bolts  
Range: 100ft

"This is one of the weapons that forced the Narnians fall into a retreat." Caspian explained, "This weapon would pierce armor, strike from beyond the reach of their bows and arrows."

"This is the tickler." Caspian said, showing the experts the weapon, "It only takes one little stroke to fire this thing."

"And I'm guessing there's no recoil, right?" Lunatic asked.

"Nope." Ray answered, shaking his head, "That bow is putting all the force forward."

_For a realistic test, our team heads out to the firing range where Caspian is given a realistic test: three foam torsos clad in Fire Nation chest plates and helmets._

"Ready, Caspian?" TL called.

Caspian nodded.

"Three…two…one…FIRE."

Caspian took aim, then fired the first bolt at the dummy's unprotected abdomen. The bolt buried itself deep into the dummy's gut. Caspian loaded another projectile as quickly as he could, but had quite a bit of a hassle to do it. He aimed at the second one's chest plate, then fired.

The bolt actually pierced the armor. But Caspian had no time to check, for he was already loading another bolt in his crossbow. He raised it quickly and fired, but in his hurry to reload, he didn't have enough time to aim.

He missed his target.

Sighing in defeat, Caspian reloaded another bolt, then aimed a bit more carefully. With just a pull of the trigger, he nailed the last Firebender stand-in straight in the neck.

"Hm…" Ray said, pulling the bolt free of the armor plate, "Nice penetrating power. You not only pierced the armor, you got through to the vital organs like the lung and heart of this guy here." He looked over the wound of the last one, the one with the bolt in its neck, "You pierced the armor and actually got past his windpipe and would actually hit the base of the spine."

"Seeing this display, I can understand why the Telmarines took Narnia over with this weapon." TL said with a nod.

_Despite the crossbow's firing power, the Firebenders are unmoved._

"Look at how long it took you to reload." Zuko pointed out, "And don't try to say that you didn't miss. I saw your third bolt miss that last stand-in."

"Well, one hit was all I needed, right?" Caspian asked, "It's a man-to-man battle, so the first shot is the first kill."

"True, but what if you miss with that first shot?" Iroh asked, "We firebenders have a weapon that does just as much as your crossbow in less time."

"And what weapon would that be?" Edmund asked.

"Our composite bow." Iroh answered, holding up a bow with a tight string and several curves down its wooden length.

_The Firebender's Composite Bow: a Firebender's lethal, sharpshooting weapon. Its curved length lets it hit with more stopping power than a one-curve bow._

Composite Bow:  
Size: 3ft  
Weight: 2lbs  
Substance: Hardwood and iron  
Range: 70ft

"This bow is a favored long-range weapon of the Fire Nation. If we don't want to leave evidence behind of our heritage, we just use this weapon." Iroh explained, holding out a bow and arrow.

"Is it accurate?" Lunatic asked.

"Yes." Zuko answered, "And if you miss with the first arrow, just string another arrow and shoot again to make sure they're dead. It's certainly faster on the reload than the Telmarine Crossbow."

"Alright, if you're claiming accuracy and speed, Firebenders, I'd like to see that in action." Reynol pointed out, "Let's see you deliver the goods."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Iroh asked.

_Out at the firing range, Iroh is given three targets wearing Telmarine armor, one holding a signature, round shield._

"Ready, Iroh?" TL called.

"Yes, young one." Iroh answered, pulling back an arrow.

"Go for it, then!" TL ordered.

Iroh shut one eye to aim his arrow, then let it loose at the first Telmarine. It hit the dummy right in the unprotected neck. He swiftly pulled out another, then fired at the dummy with the shield. The arrow, rather than hit the shield, hit the Telmarine square in the eyehole of the mask. Finally, he aimed at the last dummy and fired, hitting the dummy in the abdomen.

"Nice handiwork, Iroh." Ray said as the team went to inspect the damage. He pointed out the arrow in the Telmarine stand-in's neck, then said, "This would pierce the esophagus and probably pierce the spine. THIS is a kill shot."

"This one here…" he said, pointing at the one with an arrow in its gut, "This is probably piercing the liver, maybe a lung, but this is NOT a fatal strike. The leather and mail helped cushion the arrow, but not enough to prevent damage."

"But THIS guy here is obviously down for the count." Ray said, pointing at the last guy with the arrow in his eyehole, "I didn't think Iroh was going to be that accurate with this weapon, but the nasty thing about this blow is that you're going to feel this."

"What?" Lunatic asked in surprise.

"Yep. The arrow will go in and you'll feel it until you hemorrhage to the point where you're no more." Ray explained.

"That's gotta be one of the most messed up ways to die…" Lunatic said in amazement.

_After testing the Telmarine Crossbow and the Firebender's Composite Bow, our experts cannot deny which weapon has the advantage._

"The Crossbow impressed me in the fact that it can pierce the Firebender's armor and deliver a kill strike, but if you miss with that one shot, you'll need a full ten or twenty seconds to reload." Lunatic pointed out, "But the accuracy and the reloading speed of the composite bow is phenomenal. For the sole purpose of the bow's speed, I'm giving the edge to the Firebender."

_The Firebenders take an early lead with the Composite Bow._

_But the Telmarines are just taking off the gloves, and they're out to give the Firebenders a run for their money._

_

* * *

_

In any battle given, Telmarines and Firebenders would often dominate the battlefield.

_Telmarines took advantage with their strategic formations and technological advancement._

"The Narnians would drop rocks on Telmarines from above, then they'd fire back with catapults. Narnians charge head-on, but Telmarines would let them slam into them and then finish them." Caspian explained.

_Firebenders would use their sheer destructive power, terrifying skills, and wielding the power of fire._

"Fire is a very powerful element." Iroh pointed out, "It destroys anything it touches, it moves around things, and Firebenders are the same way. Destructive and flexible warriors."

_But in close-quarter combat, both Telmarine and Firebender had one common factor: they both wielded a razor-sharp blade._

"A sword is any warrior's best friend." Zuko pointed out, "The sword gives you the option to put some slight distance between you and your enemy, but you can also get in close and deliver a killing blow before your enemy even has time to register what's going on."

Zuko took a pair of large, curved swords in hand, then swung them in a complex kung-fu maneuver.

_The Dao Broadsword: a firebender's lightning-fast, curved sword designed to slash, stab, and move in tight places._

Dao:  
Size: 3ft  
Weight: 3lbs  
Substance: Forged Steel

"This is the sword used by most Firebenders." Zuko said, holding out a pair of dao swords, "It's large size is often used to intimidate your enemy, but it's actually lighter than it looks."

As Zuko demonstrated a few of the combo swings with the swords, Lunatic nodded. "Nice scare tactic. It looks big, but it's so light and you can move it so fast that you appear superhuman to them."

"But a Telmarine's not going to be afraid of that." Edmund said, shaking his head, "What exactly is the Firebender going to do against him?"

"Cut him up like a freshly-cut fish perhaps?" Iroh asked, almost whimsically.

_To test the lethality of the dao, Zuko is given a fresh target: a pig carcass._

"Pigs have similar skin, organs, and muscle tissues to that of humans. So cutting through this pig will show what could happen if the weapon should hit a human." Ray explained.

"I'm going to turn it into chopped pork." Zuko said with a slight smile.

Zuko took a pair of dao swords in hand, then took a few practice swings.

"Ready, Zuko?" TL called.

"I'm ready." The prince answered.

"THREE! TWO! ONE! CUT IT!"

With a roar, Zuko went into a blade-swinging frenzy. The first swipe of one dao was enough to almost cleave the pig in half. He hacked with the second one and cleaved through the pig's ribcage.

With another combo slash just like the one before, Zuko had reduced the pig to pieces.

"Wow…" Ray said, inspecting the pig's remains, "We have phenomenal damage here. With just that first swing, you severed this pig's spine and you've cut into the ribcage, too. That means you're getting at all the important organs in just one swoop."

"I myself don't think it's going to be that easy in a real situation." Caspian pointed out, "The pig had no armor. I want to see if you're as lucky against a heavily-armed opponent."

_To try for a more realistic test, Zuko is given a dummy wearing a Telmarine chest plate with mail underneath to double the defensive power._

Zuko took a deep breath through his nose, then roared as he slashed at the armored dummy. The curved blade slid off the plate armor and the chain mail as well. But then Zuko took the second dao and jammed it into the dummy's mail-protected middle. THIS time, it actually pierced the chain mail and leather with relative ease.

"Just as I thought." Edmund pointed out, "You needed one strike to realize what would happen, then took advantage of it with your second. In a war, you wouldn't have time for that."

"Really? Why?" Zuko asked, playing along.

"You'd be dead after the first strike." Edmund answered.

Ray went in, then noticed the wound. "Now, that sword is just as effective a stabbing weapon as it is a slashing weapon. If he stabbed like this, he'd probably sever the spine. That's an instant kill right there."

"But look at the first strike." Caspian countered, "That slash did nothing against our plate armor and chain mail."

_The Telmarines' signature close-range weapon is also a sharp blade, one they say is more effective._

_The Telmar Saber: a 3-foot sword used by Telmarines to cut their less-armored enemies into pieces._

Telmar Saber:  
Size: 3.4ft  
Weight: 3lbs  
Substance: Spanish Steel

"This is the Telmarine's preferred sidearm." Edmund said, showing off the single-handed sword, "This sword is actually heavier than most people expect, but it's fast and maneuverable."

"Yeah…" Ray said, taking the sword for a quick whirl, "It's definitely as you say 'fast and maneuverable'. Can it do any damage?"

"It sure can." Caspian answered, taking the sword from Ray.

The team led Caspian to something suspended from a rope: a pig carcass.

"Okay, this is the same resistance and substance of a human being, so cutting through this pig will be similar to hacking down a Firebender." Ray explained.

"I like the sound of that." Caspian said with a smile.

Caspian readied his sword, then took a deep breath.

"Ready, Caspian?" TL called.

"Ready."

"Three! Two! One! GO!"

Caspian roared, then swung his sword at the pig, the sharpened edge of the blade cleaving right into its back between its ribs and hip. Caspian pulled the saber back again, then hacked it into the pig again, cleaving it clean in two. He pulled his saber back, then stabbed it into the pig's left side, breaking a rib and piercing all the way to the other side. After that, however, he ended his rampage.

"Well, I could talk about several things, but you cut this pig in half with two swipes." Ray said, looking over the pig's remains, "But with this stab wound, you would have dropped both of this pig's lungs with that stab alone. That's an instant kill shot."

"How do you like that Firebenders?" Edmund asked, "This pig is a little smaller than your average soldier, right?"

"Yes, but he's also soft and immobile, too." Zuko pointed out.

_For a more realistic test, Iroh gives Team Telmarine something to pit their blade against._

"This is a traditional Firebender chest plate." Iroh explained, "And it covers a good portion of the chest." He strapped the chest plate to the dummy, then pulled up a few shoulder pads. "These will protect his shoulders and arms…" Iroh then pulled up a crimson helmet with a white, skull-like pattern for a face and crimson horns that stuck outward and up like some kind of demon. "And this helmet protects his head and throat."

When Iroh finished his work, he stepped back. "This design was used to intimidate the enemy because they think they're looking at a deadly demon."

Edmund took a Telmar saber, then took an overhand swing at its head. The saber hit with a loud "clang", chipped one of the horn-like projections, then slid down to the chest plate…also sliding off it. Edmund then pulled back the saber and slashed at the dummy's unprotected middle, causing blood to spurt from the dummy's gut.

Lunatic took off the Firebender Helmet, then looked it over. "Yeah, there is some chipping here, but the helmet did its job: it saved the firebender from certain death. It slid off the chest plate, but right at the gut, it actually did something."

Ray went in, then nodded. "You're right. That initial slash left a minor injury, but when he found it, he actually slashed through intestines, which is a slow and painful death, but an assured one."

"What this match is boiling down to now is 'whose armor is going to out-last the other's'?" Lunatic pointed out.

_Both warriors have battle-tested armor with their lethal swords, but which warrior gets the edge?_

"Both warriors showed incredible intelligence in that they were able to learn from their first strike and follow up with a kill." TL admitted, "But the dao didn't do anything with its initial slash due to that chain mail underneath the Telmarine breastplate. The Firebender, on the other hand, isn't armored in the right places to protect himself from the Telmar saber. Edge to the Telmarines this time."

_In close-range weapons, the Telmarine gets the edge with his saber._

_

* * *

_

Telmarine…

_Firebender…_

_Two of the most notorious conquerors are suiting up for a duel to the death._

_Telmarines would start young to distill their warrior nature…_

"I was a boy when I was being trained to fight, probably no more than nine or ten." Caspian explained, "By the time I was twelve, I was already skilled in swordplay, archery, and horseback riding. If you're selected to be a warrior, you really don't have a choice in the matter."

_Firebenders also started young, but with one simple twist._

"Fire nation boys train to become warriors when they're only twelve." Iroh explained, "But they also have to take on a code of honor and respect to their nation. If you go against your nation, you go against the Fire Lord and you will either become an exile or he will execute you personally."

_If swords and arrows were out of the picture, both Firebender and Telmarine could resort to mid-range combat, both with a lethal polearm._

"This is probably the signature weapon of a Telmarine." Caspian said, holding up a long pole with a sharp blade on the end.

_The Halberd: with a sharp spearhead on the tip, an axe on one side, and a piercing spike on the other, it's a Telmarine's Swiss Army Knife._

Halberd:  
Size: 6ft long  
Weight: 6lbs  
Substance: Wood handle, steel head

"So, the Telmarines have a long arm. We have one, too." Zuko said, popping the tip of his own polearm on the ground.

_The Guan Dao: a six-foot pole with a smooth, curved blade on one side, and a wicked, jagged edge on the other._

Guan Dao:  
Size: 6ft  
Weight: 5.7lbs  
Substance: Wood handle, steel blade

"So, both teams are packing halberd weapons." TL said, getting a message through, "Why would you guys carry a weapon like this?"

"This weapon can pierce armor, hook riders off their mounts, even kill the mount itself." Caspian answered.

"And the guan dao?" TL added.

"It can keep your enemy at a distance, still act as a cutting weapon, and allows you to put your weight into a powerful thrust." Zuko answered, performing a few sweeping techniques with the polearm.

"Well, we've got just the test for both of you." TL said, leading them to another room.

Both Zuko and Caspian chuckled with glee at the sight of their targets. Two ballistics gel torsos complete with armor of their respective cultures lay before them.

"These dummies are at human level and are clad in your enemy's armor." TL explained, "Just take your polearms and go to town on each other, okay?"

"Okay." They both acknowledged.

_First up, the Firebenders with their Guan Dao…_

"Ready, Zuko?" TL asked.

Zuko nodded.

"GO!"

Zuko roared, then swung the Guan Dao so that its back curve slammed into the Telmarine helmet. He had hooked the armor and, with a jerk of his weapon, he took the helm clean off. He took the weapon back, then slammed the guan dao's blade into the gel torso's head, chopping it almost in half. And with one final swing, he took the guan dao and jammed it into the torso's gut, breaking through the chain mail and getting into the vital organs.

_The Firebender's polearm gets the job done, but now it's the Telmarines' turn with the Halberd._

Caspian took up the Halberd, then aimed it at the Firebender dummy.

"Ready, Caspian?" TL called.

"Yes!"

"GO!"

Caspian gave a war cry of his own as he jammed the Halberd's spear point into the Firebender chestplate. The length of the weapon combined with the weight behind it, caused it to pierce the chest plate. He pulled it back, then slammed the jagged spike on the back into the Firebender helmet, creating a hole in the metal. Finally, he used the axe end and swung at the neck, almost taking the head off its shoulder.

"Phenomenal damage on both sides." Ray congratulated, "Your enemy's helmets would not have been any protection from these weapons. Both of you managed to behead your enemy and impale him at the same time."

"So, who gets the edge?" TL asked.

"Halberd vs. Guan Dao…this is difficult because they both did similar damage to each other. But I'm going with the Halberd; it has a bit more weight in it and three tools in its arsenal in comparison to the guan dao."

"Maybe next time." Caspian said, apologetically, to Zuko.

_In mid-range weapons, the Telmarines are the winner by a nose._

_But what about these warriors' special weapons? Is Team Firebender ready to take off the gloves?_

"THIS is the art that made the Fire Nation the most feared warriors on the battlefield." Iroh said, then thrust his fist forward, creating a fireball, "Fire."

_Firebending: the art of manipulating searing flames in any pattern to destroy any object they touch._

Firebending:  
Size: Variable  
Weight: None  
Range: 200ft

"This is the part I was waiting for." Lunatic said, eagerly, "Firebending."

"Fire is not the easiest element to control." Iroh explained out at the range, "Fire destroys anything it touches. Even the earth itself will give in after prolonged exposure to flame. It also moves around things, and any damage you cause with it can never be undone."

"I should know." Zuko added, touching the burn scar down his left eye, "I received one myself."

_To simulate the oncoming battle, our team has set up a team of dummies in Telmarine armor, one on a synthetic mount._

Iroh looked things over, then nodded. "I know my plan now. And since this is a particularly dangerous art, you may want to stand back…"

Once the team was set up at a safe distance, TL began the countdown.

"Okay, Iroh, THREE! TWO! ONE! LIGHT 'EM UP!"

Iroh took up a martial arts stance, then sprang into action. He moved with the grace of a dancer, which was surprising for a man of his age, then sent a streak of fire at the closest Telmarine stand-in. The fire licked past the armor, setting the dummy ablaze.

"WHOA!" all three brothers said in glee.

As Iroh set to work on the second one, Ray pointed something out, "It would be bad enough if you were wearing just cloth. When you heat the armor, you're making the heat worse and causing even MORE burns to the warrior wearing it."

"Like an oven or branding iron?" Lunatic asked.

"Oh yeah."

At that time, Iroh had turned to launch a fiery assault on the mounted rider, setting both him and his mount ablaze.

_But the Telmarines see more style than substance._

"Well, that firebending is kinda cute, I guess." Edmund admitted, "But you're probably wasting so much energy already. And will the initial blast get past a Telmarine shield? I don't think so."

_The Telmarine Battle Shield: A three-foot, circular wall of wood used to both attack and defend._

Shield:  
Size: 3ft  
Weight: 7lbs  
Substance: Wood, Steel

"The shield is primarily used in combination with the sword." Caspian explained, going through the motions as he went on, "It blocks your enemies attacks, then gives you an opening to strike. Your enemy strikes high, block high and strike low. Your opponent strikes low, block low and strike high."

"The shield itself can also be used as a weapon. You can slam it into your enemy, backhand your enemy, or push your enemy back and strike him down." Caspian said, pushing his shield forward.

"Well, I've got just the guy for you." TL said, pointing to a dummy that had something strapped to its front, "With this pressure sensor, we'll be able to show how much force a shield-charge will do to a person."

"Sounds like something worthwhile." Caspian said with a smile.

Caspian crouched as he waited for TL's signal.

"Three…two…one…GO!"

Caspian grunted, then put his whole weight into the shield, charging forward and slamming into the dummy. The force knocked the dummy to the ground on impact.

"Well, it's certainly worth taking to a football game, and you did a pretty good job there. That's enough to break one bone in the ribcage, maybe potential organ injury, but this is NOT a killing blow. It's an effective strike, but not a kill."

_The Telmarines talk up their shield, but how will it fare against a technique that never existed in Narnia?_

"Wow…" Zuko said in surprise.

There for both to see was a three-foot-wide, navy-blue shield with silvery designs in the middle and on the edge.

"That's the biggest piece of wood your Firebender's ever seen." Edmund said, poking fun at the opposing team, "Do you really think you can get through that defense?"

"Well, that's what we're going to find out now, aren't we?" Zuko asked.

_Zuko gets ready to get his fire going…_

"GO!"

Zuko thrust his hands forward and a stream of fire flew from his palms, striking the center of the shield. And after a little time to roast, the shield burst into flame.

"Wow…you roasted that shield in just under five seconds." TL said, impressed.

"But when the flame hit the shield, it did splash off like water on an umbrella. But what'll a Telmarine do if his shield is charbroiled like this?" Lunatic asked.

"Then he either has to get that off before the flame reaches him or die a fiery death." Zuko answered.

_So, between Firebending and Telmarine Shield, which weapon gets the edge?_

"The shield did something I didn't expect. It managed to hold up against the fire long enough for the Telmarine to close the distance between him and his enemy." Ray pointed out, "But if that shield gets a prolonged hit, the Telmarine has to discard it, so it's a one-time use against the Firebender's secret weapon. I have to give the edge to the weapon that has multiple uses and give it all to the Firebender."

_The art of firebending gives the Fire Nation the edge in Special Weapons._

_

* * *

_

With our testing complete, it is now time to witness the final battle between two ruthless invaders and conquerors.

_Firebender or Telmarine? Who is the DEADLIEST WARRIOR?_

_In long-range weapons, the Firebender's Composite Bow out-drew the Telmarine Crossbow._

"The crossbow has raw power on its side, but it's slow to reload and not so good on the fast-draw. First hit, first kill. Edge to the Composite Bow."

Edge: Firebender

_In close-quarter weapons, both clashed steel with Firebender Dao and Telmar Saber._

"Both warriors' armor held up against their respective blades, but the Firebender's slashing won't work against the Telmarine chain mail. The Telmar Saber found the soft point and could perform a successful slash to the Firebender's soft gut."

Edge: Telmarine

_In mid-range weapons, the Telmarine Halberd went up against the Firebender Guan Dao._

"Both weapons can remove each warrior's armor, get to the soft stuff, but the Halberd has a clear weight and tool advantage. For that, I give it to the Telmarine."

Edge: Telmarine

_Finally, in special weapons, our experts had to choose between Firebending and a Telmarine Shield._

"Because the shield is primarily a defensive weapon and firebending can either destroy or get around it, I'm going with the more destructive weapon. Firebending all the way."

Edge: Firebender

"I'm giving my pre-game prediction to the Telmarine." TL pointed out, "They ruled longer and have a bit more efficient armor than that of the Firebender."

"The Telmarine, I don't think is as used to fighting alone like the Firebender is. And the sheer destructive power of the flame is what's going to give him the necessary edge." Lunatic disagreed.

"I can't decide now. I'll just let the computer decide in this final clash."

_Firebender vs. Telmarine…_

_Conqueror vs. Conqueror…_

_Ruthless vs. Ruthless…_

Lunatic took a single keystroke, and the battle was on.

-the fight—

In an open clearing at the foot of a mountain, two soldiers approached from opposite sides, both some of the most ruthless invaders in their worlds.

One was clad in silver armor and blue cloth, his helmet resembling a gloomy, bearded man. He carried a crossbow over his shoulder, a halberd in his hand, a sword on his belt, and a shield on his back.

The other was in red armor, save a white, skull-pattern on the face and horn-like structures. He had a sword on his belt, a bow over his shoulder, and a Guan Dao in his hand.

The silver was a Telmarine, the red was a Fire Nation Soldier.

Upon getting close, the Telmarine popped the tip of his Halberd in the ground. Mirroring him, the Firebender did the same.

The Telmarine and Firebender glowered at each other, then the Firebender slung his bow off his shoulder, reached into his quiver and strung back an arrow. He took aim, then fired.

The arrow whistled through the air and hit the Telmarine in the right pectoral muscle. The Telmarine grunted in surprise and jerked the arrow out. He momentarily discarded his halberd, then strung his crossbow. He had just placed a bolt in it when the Firebender shot a second arrow at him.

The arrow hit him in the helmet and broke on impact. The force of the hit, however, was enough to stun the Telmarine, but nothing more than that.

The Telmarine aimed his crossbow, then fired the bolt even faster than the previous arrow that stunned him. The bolt flew like a rocket and hit the Firebender in the calf, earning a yelp in pain from the Firebender.

As the crimson warrior tugged the bolt free of his flesh, the Telmarine ditched his crossbow and took up his halberd. The Firebender quickly seized his Guan Dao, then met the Telmarine head-on.

The Telmarine swung with his Halberd only to meet a block from the Firebender's own polearm. The Firebender then rushed forward and planted a thrusting kick into the Telmarine's midsection. The Telmarine stumbled back, then thrust with his Halberd's spearpoint end. The Firebender sidestepped it, then gave him a thrust of his own.

The Telmarine's chain mail kept him from the worst of the Firebender's thrust, and he wasted no time in following up with a strike. This time, the sharp spike of his Halberd hooked the side of the Firebender's helmet.

It had stopped inches from piercing the Firebender's neck.

The Firebender put one hand on the Halberd's handle as he tried to jerk it free and he cursed it for being in their deep and hard. His other hand, however, had used what little Guan Dao he had left and hooked the Telmarine's own helmet with the hooked end of the blade.

In the end, both had one logical choice.

They removed their helmets.

The Telmarine was a Hispanic-looking man with neck-length, curly hair, a mustache, and a beard. The Firebender was Asiatic (possibly Chinese) with shoulder-length, black hair and a stern look on his face.

The Firebender moved swiftly, getting between the Telmarine and the polearms and drawing his dao sword. The Telmarine, sensing a challenge, brought up his shield and drew his Telmar saber.

Both warriors circled each other, then made their moves.

The Telmarine charged forward only to see his enemy sidestep him and take a swing with his dao. The Telmarine raised his shield, then took a hack with his saber only to meet the chestplate of the Firebender.

The Firebender raised his foot again, then kicked the Telmarine's shield, forcing him backward. The Telmarine quickly regained his footing and charged forward, pushing the Firebender to the ground.

The Firebender rolled to the left as the Telmarine swung down with his saber, hitting only dirt. The Firebender performed a quick martial arts stance, then thrust his free fist forward and unleashed a stream of fire.

The Telmarine, acting on pure instinct, raised his shield and slowly made his way towards the Firebender. But when he was close enough to strike, he noticed that his shield was now ablaze.

Getting away from the blast of flame, he quickly unstrapped his shield and discarded the blazing piece of wood.

Now it was down to blades and both met in a clash of steel. The Firebender blocked, then slashed at the Telmarine only to meet the chain mail and chestplate combo again. The Telmarine countered with a slash of his own, meeting the Firebender's own armor plate.

The Telmarine thrust with his saber and the Firebender dodged so narrowly that the blade grazed his free arm, earning a cry in pain from him.

The two clashed once more in blurs of steel. The Telmarine evaded a swipe from the Firebender, then thrust forward.

The Firebender, having wizened up this time, sidestepped, then brought his blade in a lightning-fast downward-chop.

The Telmarine roared in pain as his saber fell to the ground with his severed hand still holding it. And as he clutched the bleeding stump, the Firebender pulled back his Dao and jammed it into the Telmarine's gut.

The Telmarine's eyes widened as he began to violently hack blood. The Firebender withdrew his weapon and the Telmarine fell to the ground, eyes staring at the sky…but no person behind them.

The Firebender kicked his enemy to make sure he was dead, then unleashed a victory cry to the sky.

-End-

Winner: Firebender

"The Firebender won because he had more flexible weapons and the fact that he was used to man-on-man combat." Lunatic explained, "The Telmarine really was more used to fighting WITH his fellow soldiers."

_But it was close: out of a thousand battles, the Firebender won five-hundred and twenty-five times._

Firebender:  
Dao: 46  
Guan Dao: 83  
Composite Bow: 96  
Firebending: 300  
All-in-all Kills: 525

_The Telmarines weren't far behind with four-hundred and seventy-five kills, their halberd being their deadliest weapon._

Telmarine:  
Telmar Saber: 132  
Halberd: 220  
Crossbow: 67  
Shield: 56  
All-in-all Kills: 475

"I'll admit that this match was pretty neck-and-neck, but the better man won. Congratulations, Fire Nation." TL said, positively.

"The Telmarine really was used to fighting in great numbers while the Firebender could fight in armies and solo battles. Their bows were quick to reload, and their fire consumed all competition." Ray explained.

"Perhaps we…relied a little too heavily on war-based weapons." Caspian admitted, humbly.

"The Telmarines may have won on a better day." Iroh also admitted, "But today, victory is ours."

The Firebender unleashes a torrent of fire from his hands, igniting the landscape around him.

Next time…

_The Clone Wars are BACK with a vengeance. Two warriors who never met in the span of the Clone Wars finally go toe-to-toe._

_Magnaguards: the lethal combat droids designed specifically to fight Jedi._

_VS._

_ARC Troopers: the clone commandos that fought their way into galactic legend._

_Stay tuned…_


	13. Magnaguard vs ARC Trooper

**Magnaguards**

(A silvery-gray, crimson-eyed robot twirls a staff before taking a strange blaster out of an empty leg socket)

The Separatists' lethal fighting machines trained to destroy their enemies and fight Jedi.

(A Magnaguard fires a rocket at a clone, blowing it up, then plants a sparking weapon in a Jedi's chest.)

**ARC Troopers**

(A man in white armor and a rank color of sorts lifted a blaster pistol to the ready)

The independent, highly-trained clone troopers that fought their way to victory, and INTO legend.

(A team of ARC troopers infiltrates a building, then shoots down a battalion of Battle Droids.)

_WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?_

_To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe-to-toe._

_No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is…_

_**The Deadliest Warrior**_

The fight club was bustling today, as two men practiced close-quarter combat while two others practiced with staffs of sorts.

_Welcome to the Fight Club. We've gathered a team of doctors, scientists, and combat experts to decide who would win between two of the Clone Wars' most notorious warriors._

_IG-100 Series Magnaguards: the lethal combat droids assigned to kill Jedi and inflict maximum damage to clone troopers._

_VS._

_Advanced Recon Commandos: Elite Clone Troopers trained to think outside the box and get their missions done quickly._

**Magnaguard:**  
**Height: 6'**  
**Weight: 187lbs**  
**Gear: 22lbs**  
**Armor: Durasteel exoskeleton**  
**Loyalty: CIS**

**ARC Trooper:**  
**Height: 6'**  
**Weight: 167lbs**  
**Gear: 25lbs**  
**Armor: Armor-plast**  
**Loyalty: Republic**

A white hedgehog looked over a blast-torched dummy with inquisitive eyes.

_Biomedical engineer and media expert, __**TLSoulDude**__, will test the force from the two warriors' main weapons._

"There are so many awesome weapons that these two warriors are pitting against each other. We've got heavy artillery, close-quarter melee weapons, and weapons made specifically to take the other down." TL said, excitedly.

A man with a black beret and military uniform looked at a scorch mark on a gel torso.

_Biologist and combat expert, __**Sergeant Marcus Reynol**__, will analyze the damage these warriors' weapons will inflict on each other._

"It's the basic battle once again: man vs. machine." Ray explained, "You have one guy who has his instincts and sentient mind against a machine with an unstoppable will and no heart or soul."

A ninja with red, spiky hair observed the test footage, then typed a function into a computer.

_Computer wiz, __**Lunatic 121**__, will gather test data and input it into a special computer developed by Slytherine Studios._

"ARC Troopers and Magnaguards are the top dogs of their respective sides of the Clone Wars." Lunatic explained, "But what's interesting is that neither of these warriors have ever met on the field of battle. We'll be rewriting Star Wars history inside this computer."

_Since both teams pack lethal, futuristic firearms, Lunatic sets the match up for a five-on-five showdown. Five ARC Troopers vs. Five Magnaguards: who is the Deadliest Warrior?_

_And our experts are also on both sides of the playing board: the Republic and the CIS…_

A bald woman with pale skin and fierce eyes took a strange staff-like weapon, pressed a button on its side, and both sides of the staff sparked with amethyst lightning.

_Apprentice to Darth Tyranus himself, __**Assajj Ventress**__, is putting her money on the IG-100 series. She trained a few herself and is an expert in lightsaber and weapon-based combat._

"The Magnaguards are trained to take out the JEDI." Assajj said, venom in her words on the word 'Jedi', "If they can take out these powerful warriors, how will a mere clone?"

Another droid of sorts took a firearm of sorts, pointed it, then wondered if it felt comfortable.

_**PROXY **__is a combat droid that is known for the ability to mimic his enemies' moves and take on their appearances._

"For these clone troopers, I can guarantee that they will either be defeated or have an extremely hard time against an IG-100 Combat Droid." Proxy informed, holographically changing his form to that of an IG-100 series.

_Designed by Holowan Mechanicals, IG-100 Magnaguards were easily the most lethal droids used by the Corporation of Independent Systems (CIS). It was their near-human intelligence, terrifying melee skill, and state-of-the art mechanics that made them infamous on the battlefield._

"Magnaguard armor was strong enough to protect them from most blasters, and they were so notorious and persistent in battle. A Jedi was known to hack off an arm, a leg, or even its head and the droid could still fight." PROXY said, speaking through its historical banks.

_Magnaguards were designed to do two things: fight Jedi and protect one of the most infamous figures in the Clone Wars, General Grievous._

_But what about those fighting for the Republic; the Advanced Recon Commandos?_

A clone with armor, possibly made for a nautical ship, took up a blaster and nodded.

_A member of the Republic Navy, __**Commander Bacara**__ is a full-blooded ARC Trooper who has seen and been in the heat of battle._

"We deal with clankers every day." Bacara said, his helmet gone to reveal the head of Jango Fett, "This one will be no different from the last. It's big, but it's still a clanker."

Another clone, this one with blue-patterned armor took aim with a pair of pistols.

_**Captain Rex** is a master marksman in terms of Clones. He is also an ARC and has worked with Commander Cody, an ARC Commander since the start of the Clone Wars._

"The thing that separates ARC Troopers from every other Clone is that we have the wits, the training, and the trick of being able to think outside the box." Rex said, showing his face…which was devoid of hair on his head.

_ARC Troopers are the most advanced Clone Troopers in the galaxy. Like all clones, they were bred from the DNA of Jango Fett; a bounty hunter trained in Mandalorian combat. But there was a defining difference in ARC Troopers: the surrogate father's mindset and training._

"We were trained in the same way as Jango Fett. We know his tactics, we have his sharp aim, his war mentality, and his combat experience in our minds." Bacara went on.

_ARC Troopers would steadily grow in reputation until they became known as one of the most powerful and efficient soldiers in the galaxy._

_But in this recreation of the Clone Wars, who will walk out of the match alive?_

"The Magnaguard will crush these clones like every other enemy they've defeated." Ventress answered, venom in her voice.

"It's really no contest." Rex answered, "If Destroyers and Supers couldn't stop us, c'mon, how could a Magnaguard?"

"I'm giving the pre-game prediction to the Magnaguard." Ray put out, "They've fought Jedi, killed some themselves, and are used to taking a bit of punishment. That's probably the deciding factor here."

"ARC vs. Magnaguard? ARC Troopers all the way." Lunatic disagreed, "They fought off large numbers in small cells and were successful. That means something that they did worked throughout the Clone Wars."

_An ARC Trooper's preferred weapon was a handheld blaster that was light, but effective against Battle Droids._

_The DC-17 Hand Blaster: a Clone's reliable pistol used to attack in mid-range combat._

DC-17:  
Size: 18in  
Weight: 4lbs  
Rounds: 11  
Range: 15-30ft

"This is a Clone's best sidearm." Bacara said, out at the firing range, "If any clanker got too close, we'd use this, blow their heads off, then move on with whatever we were doing."

"How is this gun useful in combat?" Lunatic asked.

"It's compact compared to most blasters." Rex answered, "That means you can maneuver it in tight spaces."

_To test the DC-17's blasting power, we've set up a battle simulation: an enclosed space filled with deactivated battle droids: a Super Battle Droid, a regular model, a Commando Droid, and one Magnaguard._

"So, here's what you're going to do, you're going to purge this room of all battle droids." TL explained, "I don't want to see multiple shots on these guys, I want one shot each, one kill each. Can you handle that?"

"You bet I can." Rex accepted.

Rex put on his helmet, then took a DC-17 in hand.

"Ready, Rex?" TL called.

"YES." Rex answered.

"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!"

Rex kicked down the door, then went on a bloody rampage through the room. The first shot burned a hole right through the inactive Super Battle Droid. The second took the head right off the standard Battle Droid while the third took off the Commando Droid's leg. Finally, he aimed at the chest plate of the inactive Magnaguard and fired.

_The team goes in to see if the DC-17 is as lethal as the clone who carries it._

"Alright, I'm not a technological person, but this first blast in the Super has gone right through its 'head'. That's a kill." Ray said, inspecting the damage, "This standard one is down due to not having a head. This third one is down with a missing leg, but the magnaguard…I'd have to say he's still fighting."

"What?" Lunatic asked in disbelief.

"The bolt hit this chestplate, but it only created a small crater and a corona of soot. He's knocked back, but he still has the opportunity to fire." Ray answered, "The DC-17 is not a lethal weapon to the Magnaguard unless it hits it in the third photoreceptor here in its chest." To emphasize his point, Ray pointed at the inactive circle in the Magnaguard's chest.

"Very nice, gentlemen." Ventress said, her arms folded, "Very nice. Unfortunately, Magnaguards have a weapon that will put your blaster to shame."

_Although Magnaguards were primarily close-quarter combat droids, they would pack lethal firearms if battling multiple enemies._

_The Bulldog Rocket Launcher: A Magnaguard's handheld demolisher that fired rockets at an astonishing rate._

Bulldog:  
Size: 24in  
Weight: 6lbs  
Rounds: 7  
Range: 25ft

"The Bulldog was designed for close-quarter combat scenarios." PROXY explained, holding out a rocket launcher the size of an automatic pistol, "You get seven shots, but the destructive power of this weapon is very useful for taking out small squadrons."

_To see if the Magnaguard's rocket launcher is as lethal as they say it is, our team is given a realistic test. A square, metal room with three Clone Troopers inside; simulating a command post of a space station._

"I've put some pressure sensors on these dummies. If we make them turn red, they'll be dead." TL said, showing them a green patch that he had placed on the dummies' armor.

_Can the Bulldog wipe out the troopers?_

"Ready, PROXY?" TL asked.

"Affirmative." The droid answered.

"THREE! TWO! ONE! FIRE!"

PROXY pulled the trigger of the Rocket Launcher three times and three rockets soared at the metal room. The first one pierced the side of the room and detonated on the second impact, knocking one dummy to the ground. The second blast hit the middle dummy straight on while the third hid the wall just in front of the last dummy. It jarred the stand-in, but all-in-all, it remained standing.

"WHOA!"

The crew went in to inspect the room and found only one thing: all-out destruction.

"The first thing I would like to point out is that this dummy is knocked forward by the blast alone. The rocket didn't even hit him directly, it hit the wall behind him." Ray said, pointing out the first dummy, "This second one took a direct hit and has this HUGE hole in his front…"

Indeed, the second dummy had a hole in it the size of a basketball, along with the peppering of the rocket's fragmentation.

"But this third guy…I think he's unscathed." Ray said, stifling a laugh, "So, he's watching his allies die in front of him, disoriented, and probably BARELY strong enough to make it to the exit."

"That is a downside to the Bulldog." PROXY pointed out, "It's not exactly the most accurate weapon."

"But, compare it to your clones' blaster, which did nothing to take us down." Ventress added in.

"Hm…the lady has a point. If you can't harm your enemy with your first strike, that could spell disaster. So, because of the damage it caused, I'm giving the edge to the Bulldog Rocket Launcher."

_The Magnaguards take an early lead in mid-range weapons._

_But if guns aren't enough, the ARC Troopers can always resort to bombs…_

_The EMP Grenade: a special weapon for the ARC Troopers that can insure that only droids get harmed and no one else._

EMP Grenade:  
Size: 9in  
Weight: 2lbs  
Blast Radius: 25ft

"This was used when we were heavily outnumbered." Rex said, tossing a grenade into the air and catching it again, "What this thing does is that it sends out an electromagnetic pulse that deactivates any electrical appliance, clankers included."

"And is this weapon safe to use?" Ray asked.

"Yes, sir. You can be holding it in your hand and you wouldn't get hurt when it goes off." Bacara answered, "This is strictly designed to take out clankers, so if there are captives, you can just deactivate the droids and they'll be safe."

_To see if Bacara can back himself up, our team has put up a situation: Rex has been captured by three droids. Can the EMP Grenade take down the droids?_

Rex was standing in a room and was surrounded by remote-controlled Battle Droids, one of them a Magnaguard, the other two being Super Battle Droids.

"Three! Two! One! GO!"

Bacara pressed a button on the grenade's surface, then lobbed it into the room. He didn't even take cover because, when the grenade went off, it didn't explode. Instead, it released a field of blue energy that caused the droids to spark suddenly, then fall down with a "clang".

"ALRIGHT! Just as you said, Commander." TL cheered, "All three droids are down, Rex is unharmed, so this is basically a mission accomplished."

"It's what we do, sir." Rex said with a nod.

_But those representing the CIS also know how to deliver bang for the buck…_

_The Neurotoxin Grenade: An explosive that releases a deadly mist of paralyzing poison; lethal for Clones._

Neurotoxin Grenade:  
Size: 8in  
Weight: 2lbs  
Blast Radius: 15ft

"The way a Neurotoxin Grenade works is that it releases the mist, and prolonged exposure to it can leave a clone paralyzed and eventually lead to death." PROXY explained, "This works well for Battle Droids because they have no organic nervous system, so they're safe from the poison."

"I can see why this would be devastating for Clone Troopers; they have to breathe." TL said, catching on, "If they get a whiff of this stuff, they're going to go down for the count. They'll either be helpless to attack or they'll be dead."

_Could someone survive this grenade when it goes off? With an air filter ready, our experts have set up a glass room filled with Clone Stand-ins._

"PROXY, you ready?" TL called.

"Affirmative."

"Then, what're you waiting for? GO!"

PROXY opened the door to the room, then pressed a button on the grenade before inserting the explosive and slamming the door shut.

The Neurotoxin Grenade went off, emitting a high spray of a white, misty substance. This mist, in almost no time, was filling up the enclosed room until it was way over the dummies' heads.

"I'm seeing that this room is thirty-percent full of that substance. If you're trapped in there, you only have a few seconds left to live." TL pointed out.

"You also have to take the air pressure in mind, too." Ray pointed out, "If you're trapped in there, the gas is pushing away all the air. This will result in suffocation, disorientation, and sensory depravity."

"You would've had to bail immediately or you're a dead man." Lunatic added.

_Both weapons are harmless to each side's comrades, but there are other factors to take into consideration._

"The Neurotoxin Grenade is a nightmare weapon, but it takes prolonged exposure for it to really be lethal. It gives your enemy a fraction of a second to actually realize what's going on and bail from the room. The EMP Grenade, on the other hand, detonates quickly and has already incapacitated at least three droids in the area. I'm putting my money on the EMP Grenade."

_In special weapons, the ARC Troopers get the edge with their grenade._

* * *

_Two great warriors of the Clone Wars are ready to face off: The Republic's ARC Troopers and the CIS's IG-100 Magnaguards._

_Magnaguards were cold killers, trained by the deadly Separatist figure, General Grievous._

"Grievous knew that the other Battle Droids would stand no chance against a Jedi." Assajj pointed out, "So, he told the Techno Union Army that they needed something smart, efficient, and deadly. The result was a Magnaguard."

_Magnaguards used weapons for maximum destruction, seeing as they were very few in number in terms of production._

"Magnaguards were very expensive, costing the CIS a lot of money. So, rather than waste it by simply getting many of them, Grievous trained them long and hard." Ventress explained, "Now it doesn't matter how many Magnaguards there are, you'll still lose."

_But ARC Troopers also had a training ace up their sleeve, they had small bits of Jango Fett induced into their brains._

"Those average clones going into battle can't compare to us." Rex pointed out, "We have superior thinking skills, fighting skills, everything. And it is that skill that brought us victory time and time again."

_ARC Troopers were vastly outnumbered when they went on their missions. So, to make up their lack of manpower, ARC Troopers would operate in small cells._

"We would often go in squads of four to ten members, get behind enemy lines, and hit them hard and fast. We could be right behind your door and you wouldn't notice until you had been charred." Balcara stated.

_For maximum damage, the Clones brought in a nasty killing machine._

_The Quad-Laser: A large, four-barreled automatic blaster used to spray down droids from great distance and with great accuracy._

Quad-Laser:  
Size: 3ft  
Weight: 13lbs  
Range: 130ft  
Rounds: 75

"This is what we bring out if we want to take out as many droids as we dare." Bacara said, hoisting up the heavy-looking weapon, "Not even the big-clanker will survive this one."

"I dunno, we saw what your pistol did to the Magnaguard armor. Will this be any different?" TL asked.

"I'm telling you, a few shots of this can leave an army decimated." Rex said with a nod.

Out at the range, Bacara had taken up the quad-laser and was pointing it at a foam torso.

"Three! Two! One! FIRE!"

The quad-laser fired, launching a barrage of blue bolts at the target. After just a few hits, the torso fell to the ground, holes in its front that had burned clean through it.

_The quad laser easily cuts down this human target with a hail of blasts._

_But what about multiple, droid targets? Droid armor is harder than human flesh, so how will it hold up against the quad-laser?_

"This is a more realistic setting we've got here." TL said, showing Bacara the setting.

There were five inactive droids: two regulars, two Supers, and one Magnaguard, grouped together in a tight formation.

"We have the fragile stuff, we have the tougher stuff, and we have the toughest." TL said, pointing out the droids.

"This'll take 'em all out, guaranteed." Bacara said, cocking his gun.

"And three…two…one…FIRE!"

Bacara fired the Quad-laser as fast as he could, and as he promised, he shredded the Battle Droids in front of him. As for the Magnaguard, when the smoke cleared…

"YES!" Lunatic cheered, seeing a sizeable hole in the Magnaguard's chest area and another in its face.

_It turns out that not even Magnaguard armor can stand up to the devastating blaster._

"There's your evidence right there." Rex said, pointing out the heavy damage, "I doubt even a Magnaguard would be standing after something like this."

"But those droids were inactive, immobile, and weak." Ventress objected.

"Take this in mind that this is a spraying weapon." Bacara countered, "If you run, we'll just shoot again and make sure you're dead."

_The CIS counter with the RD-4 Grenade Launcher: used to fire grenades behind enemy lines and destroy their defenses._

RD-4:  
Size: 2.4ft  
Weight: 6lbs  
Range: 56ft  
Rounds: 2

"Magnaguards would use this weapon to plant grenades on places where they either can't reach or can't harm." PROXY explained, "Places like vehicles, behind protective walls, and it also can be utilized as a close-quarter weapon like a shotgun."

"Let's see you talk the talk then, PROXY." Lunatic said, then gestured out to the field, "Here we've got three targets at five yards, ten yards, and fifteen yards. Your job is to try and take them all out."

In a flash of light, PROXY's body projected the holographic image of a Magnaguard, so it would look like one holding the RD-4.

"GO!"

PROXY pumped the grenade launcher, then fired at the closest target. A glowing, green grenade flew from the barrel and struck the dummy head-on. It exploded, pumping the warrior with shrapnel and knocking it backward. PROXY took aim at the one ten yards away, charged it slightly, then fired again. The grenade flew further, but when it hit the target, it bounced off, landed on the ground, and then detonated.

PROXY pumped again, but when he pulled the trigger, nothing happened. He quickly reloaded the launcher, then aimed at the furthest target. The grenade landed right next to the target, but took a full three seconds to detonate. But when it did, the third target fell to the side from the sheer impact.

"Hm…" Ray said, looking over the targets, "All these guys are down due to the explosion and shrapnel, but I don't like this fact. The further you aim, the longer it takes the grenades to detonate."

"I also worry that you only get two shots before you have to reload." Lunatic added, "If you're going up against that Quad-Laser with THAT thing, you'll be nothing but a pile of scrap metal in a second."

"If I had to go into battle, I'd take the quad-laser, a fully automatic gun instead of that thing. Edge: ARC Troopers."

_In long-range weapons, the ARC Troopers get the edge with the Quad-Laser._

_But now it's time for them to get down and dirty on each other with lethal close-range weapons._

"If Clone Troopers want to get down and dirty, they'll have to get through THIS." Ventress said, holding up a long staff, then activated a power generator on each end of the staff.

_The Electrostaff: a Magnaguard's signature weapon used for its primary programming; to fight Jedi._

Electrostaff:  
Size: 5ft  
Weight: 3lbs  
Substance: Phrik alloy, pulse generators

"The electrostaff itself is made of lightsaber-resistant metals." PROXY explained, "The tips are also electromagnetic pulse-generators also designed to counter lightsabers."

"The first thing I notice is the sheer length of this weapon." Lunatic said, looking the weapon over, "This is definitely longer than a lightsaber."

"So, right from the start, a Jedi has a disadvantage against the Magnaguard." Ventress added, "And Magnaguards have been known to kill Jedi with these weapons."

_To test the lethality of the Magnaguards' signature weapon, Ventress is given a ballistics gel torso; the same density as human flesh. With electrical sensors, TL will gauge if the charge will be enough to kill a human._

Ventress eyed the torso like a predator before taking the staff in hand.

"Ready, Ventress?" TL asked.

"Yes."

"Then, GO!"

Ventress thrust the staff forward, charging the torso with purple electricity. The torso would have burst into flame had she not pulled it out. And with a war cry, Ventress brought the end of the staff slamming into the side of the dummy's head as a final attack.

"Wow. I clocked it at almost a thousand volts. If that's embedded in a Clone Trooper for too long, it could very well kill him." TL said in amazement.

_But the clones also use close-quarter weapons: one they say packs a little more punch._

_The Knuckle-Plate Vibroblade: strapped to a clone's hand, it can actually punch through droid armor._

Knuckle-Plate Vibroblade:  
Size: 8in  
Weight: 1lb  
Substance: Duranium, sonic generator

"THIS is a weapon that's actually useful against droids." Rex said, holding out a katar-esque blade, "A sonic generator vibrates this blade so fast that if it hits something, it'll punch through whatever it hits."

"Even droid armor?" Lunatic asked.

"Weren't you listening? Droids stand no chance against this thing." Rex answered.

_To back up his words, Captain Rex takes aim at a Magnaguard chestplate to stand in for the real thing._

"Ready, Rex?" Lunatic asked.

"Yessir." Rex answered.

"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!"

Rex roared, then thrust his fist forward, the short blade piercing the Magnaguard armor like nothing. When he pulled it out, he looked more than satisfied.

"Happy?" the clone Captain asked.

"This wound is definitely nasty, but if I were to guess, I'd have to say this Magnaguard is still active." Ray warned, "But if he hit slightly towards the center, he would probably take it down."

"I guarantee you, most ARC Troopers won't make the same mistake I did." Rex assured.

_But what would happen if these two weapons met each other? To find out, Ventress takes aim at a synthetic arm with an active Vibroblade._

"GO!"

Ventress swung the staff's tip down on the Vibroblade and, almost instantly, the Vibroblade sparked and exploded like a small grenade.

"WHOA! What was THAT?" TL asked in surprise.

"Just as I thought." Ventress said with a serpentine smile, "Vibroblades are excellent conductors for electricity."

"Oh, the generator in the handle! OF COURSE!" TL said, wondering why he hadn't seen it before.

_After the Vibroblade's short circuit, our experts cannot deny which weapon has the edge._

"The Vibroblade could get through the Magnaguard's armor and I was surprised. But is it effective against a Magnaguard's Electrostaff? The answer is 'no'."

_The Magnaguard gets the edge in close-range weapons._

* * *

_The time has come: the two most powerful forces on both sides of the Clone Wars are ready to clash. The Republic's elite ARC Troopers against the CIS's deadly IG-100 Magnaguards._

_In close-range weapons, the Knuckle-Plate Vibroblade was smashed aside by the Electrostaff._

"The Electrostaff could be used as a bludgeoning weapon and a thrusting weapon. And the Clone has nothing to block it. Edge to the staff."

Edge: Magnaguard

_In mid-range weapons, the DC-17 blaster pistol went up against the Bulldog Rocket Launcher._

"The blaster pistol barely made a dent in the Magnaguard's armor while the Bulldog Rocket Launcher means all-out destruction in a tight spot. Edge to the most damage."

Edge: Magnaguard

_In long-range weapons, the Quad-Laser blew away the RD-4 Grenade Launcher._

"The quad-laser allows you to spray down your enemies even if they're in numbers. The Grenade Launcher can only fire two shots before it needs to reload and THAT is a fatal flaw."

Edge: ARC Trooper

_Finally, our experts had to choose between the two warriors' special weapons: ARC Trooper EMP Grenade vs. Magnaguard Neurotoxin Grenade._

"I'm going with the EMP Grenade. It's fast, has a range bigger than the Neurotoxin Grenade, and it can incapacitate several targets in a short span of time."

Edge: ARC Trooper

_To prevent a lucky blast from snaring defeat, Lunatic sets things up for a five-on-five battle to the finish, and to run the battle a thousand times._

_It will be a battle of opposites…_

_Mechanical Force…_

(A Magnaguard blows up a Republic Speeder with its Bulldog)

_Versus Clone Cunning_

(An ARC Trooper sees his partner tangling with a Battle Droid, then promptly shoots the droid's head off)

_Machine…_

(A Magnaguard jams its electrostaff into a Jedi's midsection, electrocuting him to death.)

_Versus Man_

(A Clone Trooper opens fire on a small battalion of Battle Droids.)

_Separatist…_

(A Magnaguard stands tall at its duty: defending Grievous.)

_Versus Republic_

(A unison of ARC Troopers salute as they ready for battle.)

Lunatic pressed the "Enter" key and the battle was on.

-the fight—

Out in one of the many science labs of Polis Massa, two warrior groups were prepping for a fight.

Five robotic beings marched down a hallway. They were almost two meters tall, had scarred, metal hides, and lifeless, red eyes. These were the infamous IG-100 Magnaguards; considered by several to be WORSE to come across than Droidekas.

On the other side of the settlement, five clone troopers silently made their way through the labs. Each one had their weapons at the ready and a different color amidst their armor. The leader had red while the others had, in order, blue, yellow, green, and no color at all.

THESE were the legendary ARC Troopers: wielding the training methods that Jango Fett himself specialized in.

Magnaguards: 5

ARC Troopers: 5

And in a square room close to the center of the structure, both caught each other's eyes.

As soon as they saw the ARC Troopers, the Magnaguards opened fire with their Bulldog Rocket Launchers. The Clones immediately took evasive action and scattered, the rockets hitting the walls and exploding behind them.

The Magnaguards gave chase, each going through separate parts of the structure.

An ARC Trooper continued running, then turned, aimed his DC-17 at the Magnaguard trailing him, and fired. The blue plasma packet hit the Magnaguard square in its left shoulder…but failed to kill it. The Magnaguard fell to the ground, but was getting back up very quickly.

The ARC Trooper would have laid another blast on the droid when another Magnaguard emerged from its comrade's shadow and fired a grenade at him with its RD-4. The grenade hit the Clone full in the face, exploding and sending the clone rocketing backward.

Magnaguards: 5

ARC Troopers: 4

One Magnaguard chased after the lead ARC Trooper, but he turned on his heel and pointed a four-barrel blaster at the droid and opened fire with a hail of blasts. The Magnaguard was first struck in the arm, disarming it of its weapon, the next blast hit it in the leg, separating it from the body in a split-second.

Oddly enough, the Magnaguard continued hopping after the ARC on its one remaining leg, brandishing its Electrostaff with its remaining arm, and making some improbable threat regarding its weapon and the clone's body cavities. It had finally made so much noise that the ARC Trooper blasted it full in the chest out of simple irritation.

He was glad to see it crumple to the floor.

Magnaguards: 4

ARC Troopers: 4

A lone Magnaguard kept its Bulldog at the ready in case of a surprise attack, but when it opened a blast door, it got the surprise of its life. A blast of blue energy knocked the Bulldog free of the droid's hand and it retaliated in an instant. It took its soon-active electrostaff, then closed the distance between it and its clone enemy to smack the gun out of the clone's hand.

The clone took some strange punch-blade of sorts, then thrust it at the Magnaguard, which spun its staff and had its electrically-charged tip down on the Clone's hand…and the Vibroblade.

The Vibroblade exploded, earning a roar in pain from the clone as he clutched his arm…now a bleeding stump. The blast from the overloaded vibroblade had taken his hand off.

The Magnaguard took its staff, then jammed it into the ARC Trooper's neck. The clone spasmed violently as electrical energy coursed through his body, then fell to the ground, smoking like a burnt coal.

The Magnaguard's duty was done, so it took its staff, picked up its Bulldog, and went off.

Magnaguards: 4

ARC Troopers: 3

Two ARC Troopers slowly made their way through the structure. The Magnaguard seemed to have vanished behind them and now it could have been anywhere. They passed a room and, not bothering to look behind them, didn't notice that a pair of Magnaguards had been in there, waiting for them to pass.

When the ARC Troopers cautiously made their way into a small room, checking for any Magnaguards, something slammed into them. As they rolled across the floor and into the room, they saw a VERY angry-looking Magnaguard.

If they COULD look angry, that is.

The Magnaguard whirled its staff, but was least expecting both the troops to suddenly take their pistols and try gunning it down.

Had it been one clone, it probably would have died, but since both were aiming at different spots on the chest, they had a little more effect. And one lucky shot from a blaster pistol hit the vulnerable third photoreceptor in the Magnaguard's chest, piercing it all the way through.

The Magnaguard fell backward, inactive.

Magnaguards: 3

ARC Troopers: 3

The two troopers made for the door only to see ANOTHER Magnaguard standing guard…or so it seemed.

The Magnaguard threw a spherical object into the room, then closed the blast doors of the room. Both clones rammed the door, shot it, anything they could to try and get it open.

And then the grenade went off, emitting a mist of neurotoxin. The clones only tried harder in their fruitless effort to escape, but soon their struggles lessened as the poison in their respiratory system began to take effect. Finally, with rattling breaths, they fell to the ground and never got back up.

Magnaguards: 3

ARC Trooper: 1

The last remaining ARC Trooper kept his quad-laser in hand. From what he could tell, it was a weapon that WOULD work against the Magnaguards. He almost turned a corner when a rocket narrowly missed his body, causing the room behind him to burst into flame.

Turning the corner quickly and decisively, the ARC Trooper opened fire with his quad-laser. For a while, there was silence and he checked to see if he had hit his enemy.

There, right in front of him, was a collapsed Magnaguard, its photoreceptors now black and lifeless.

Magnaguards: 2

ARC Trooper: 1

The ARC Trooper, realizing that a gun this heavy would only slow him down, took his pistol and continued on his way. He had just reached the next room when an Electrostaff thrust forward. His Jango Fett instincts kept him from being electrocuted.

The ARC Trooper spun on the staff's owner, then fired. The blast knocked the Magnaguard backward, releasing the staff, but the Magnaguard wasted no effort in grabbing the clone's arm and bringing him slamming into the ground. Now, in a sitting position with the Magnaguard on top of him, the last ARC trooper struggled against his mechanical opponent.

Then he saw the other one enter the room and slowly advance on him, staff sparking.

The ARC Trooper had one last trick up his sleeve. But if that droid wasn't in the right range, it would cost him his life.

The ARC Trooper used one arm to hold back the murderous droid while his other one reached for his supply pouch. Said hand pulled out a spherical device and he activated it as quick as his reflexes would let him.

The device unleashed a twenty-five foot electromagnetic pulse and the ARC Commander had scrunched his eyes shut, hesitant to open them.

He opened one eye, then looked to his left…

Both Magnaguards were deactivated by the EMP grenade. He freed himself of the one towering over him, then glanced at the one that had rushed him in time to see it topple to the ground.

The Commander raised a fist into the air as he shouted, "FOR THE REPUBLIC!"

-end-

Winner: ARC Troopers

"Out of a thousand battles, our ARC Troopers emerged victorious with five-hundred and fourty-two kills to the Magnaguard's four-hundred and fifty-eight kills." Lunatic said, showing the stats.

ARC Trooper Kills…  
DC-17: 45  
Quad-Laser: 411  
EMP Grenade: 82  
Knuckle-Vibroblade: 3  
All-in-all Kills: 542

Magnaguard Kills…  
Bulldog: 269  
RD-4: 91  
Neurotoxin Grenade: 66  
Electrostaff: 32  
All-in-all Kills: 458

"This was due to the ARC Troopers reliable and accurate weapons. The Magnaguard's weapons were a little too unpredictable and slow, and that's what cost them the match." Lunatic added.

"I have to say I was kinda worried that the Magnaguards would win, but I'm glad to have been wrong." TL admitted.

"ARC Troopers may match droids." Ventress hissed, "But they are no match for the power of the Dark Side."

"Little clanker, Big clanker?" Rex asked, "They all wind up the same in the end: scrap metal."

The ARC Commander raised his fist into the air in victory.

_Next Time…_

_Two hardcore street-fighting crimefighters clash steel._

_Robin: The Boy Wonder trained by the Dark Knight himself._

_VS._

_Silver Sable: The one-woman army who won't let anyone get in her way._

_Stay Tuned…_


	14. Robin vs Silver Sable

**Robin**

(A teen in a red and green suit, black cape, and a face mask spins a staff.)

The combat-trained boy wonder who patrols the streets of Gotham.

(Robin throws a boomerang-weapon at a follower of the Joker, then slams his staff into another that almost ambushed him.)

**Silver Sable**

(A woman with platinum-blonde hair and silver, skintight outfit takes a few jabs with a sword.)

The lethal, high-trained mercenary and leader of the Wild Pack group.

(Silver Sable plants her foot into an enemy agent, then turns and fires a pistol at another that was behind her.)

_WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?_

_To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe-to-toe._

_No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is…_

**_The Deadliest Warrior_**

Weapons clashed in combat training and guns locked and loaded for an oncoming battle. Everything needed to be tiptop today.

In our Los Angeles fight club, we've gathered a team of doctors, scientists, a computer expert, and combat veterans. All this is to decide who will win between two legendary combat masters.

_Robin: the boy wonder who was trained by the Dark Knight himself; Batman._

_VS._

_Silver Sable: the mercenary CEO of Silver Sable International._

Robin:  
Height: 5'6"  
Weight: 134lbs  
Gear: 13lbs  
Armor: Steel Cape  
Real Name: Tim Drake

Silver Sable:  
Height: 5'5"  
Weight: 125lbs  
Gear: 20lbs  
Armor: Kevlar suit  
Real Name: Silver Sablinova

A white hedgehog took a gun of sorts, testing how comfortable it would be to a warrior.

_Media expert and biomedical engineer, __**TLSoulDude**__, will gather the combat data that these two urban fighters will put out._

"Both these combatants are top-notch. If you want someone down, they are the ones you have to call." TL said, excitedly, "I'm expecting this to be great."

A man with a black beret, military getup, and a buzz-cut looked through a set of test dummies: ballistics gel torsos, arms, and heads alike.

_Biologist and combat specialist, __**Sergeant Reynol**__, will check the damage these two crime fighters will dish out in the ultimate battle._

"Again with the geek fights?" Ray asked with a laugh, "We have a Marvel Mercenary going up against a DC crime fighter. This should be VERY interesting indeed."

A young ninja with red, spiked hair thought of something real quick, then altered a factor in a computer program of sorts.

**_Lunatic 121_**_ is a computer wiz, and will gather data from the damage results._

"These two warriors are separated by two completely different comic book corporations. They have NEVER met, but we'll be changing all that right here, right now." Lunatic said with a playful smile.

_The data will be downloaded into a simulation program developed by Slytherine Studios to ultimately decide the victor: Robin or Silver Sable. Who will be the Deadliest Warrior?_

_On the DC Comics side of the battle, experts are confident that the Boy Wonder will walk home with the gold._

A young man in a blue and black outfit spun a staff before halting it and positioning it across his chest.

_Former title-bearer of the name Robin, __**Nightwing**__, uses weapons and tactics that he used during his time as Batman's sidekick._

"To be the apprentice of Batman, you have to show not just physical capability." Nightwing explained, "You have to be psychologically stable, intelligent, and be able to hold up under any pressure. It's NOT an easy job."

A young woman in a pitch-black batsuit inspected a bird-shaped boomerang, then took a practice swing, as though she was going to throw it.

_**Batgirl**__ is an ally of both Batman and Robin, following in the Dark Knight's footsteps. Her training is comparable to that of Robin._

"Robin is one of those guys who will remain loyal to his former teachers, but will still strive to stand out on his own." Batgirl talked up, "It's THAT devotion that makes him a worthy warrior."

_Robin is the title given to Batman's partner in crime-fighting. So far, three people have taken up his mantle: Dick Grayson (now Nightwing), the late Jason Todd, and the current one Tim Drake._

"Tim had strove to be Batman's assistant ever since I was wearing that costume." Nightwing explained, "And after the death of Jason, he eventually figured out who Batman was. He may lack my physical capability, but Tim is STILL no laughing matter with his razor-sharp detective skills."

_After Drake took up the Robin costume, he became Batman's partner to this day._

_But what about the opposition? What about those putting their money on the Silver Sable?_

A man with a black outfit and a skull designed on it took a gun in hand and took aim.

_**The Punisher**__ is a fellow mercenary who has worked with the Silver Sable. He will demonstrate the lethal explosives and firearms used by Sable._

"This snot-nosed kid is nothing compared to the Sable." Punisher snarled, "Sable doesn't want her enemies in jail. She wants them DEAD. And that will make the biggest difference in this fight."

A man in red and black spandex and a facemask took a sword in hand and a strange throwing object in the other.

_**Deadpool**__ is a full-blooded mercenary, trained in martial arts and use of firearms that the Sable herself specializes in._

"Well, of course Sable would win." Deadpool put out, "Don't ALL hot chicks win their fights? It's happened in manga and western comics, so I know what I'm talkin' about."

_Silver Sable is the head of a paramilitary force known as the Wild Pack. The woman herself is a hunter of war criminals, psychopaths, and other superhuman forces. She has also trained herself to show no emotion and no mercy to her enemies._

"Sable knows how deadly her enemies are." Punisher explained, gruffly, "She knows that they're psychologically unstable and will show no mercy to them because she knows no such mercy will be shown to her.

_The Sable's work often brings her into contact with other superheroes, either becoming their ally or their worst enemy._

_But in this street fight, who will live to fight another day? Who will lie dead on the ground?_

"Robin's sole purpose, by definition, would be to bring her down." Nightwing answered.

"Sable's not going to like this kid. Maybe call him a rookie." Punisher said, shaking his head.

"She's a rogue, and she should be taken off her high horse and brought to justice." Batgirl agreed with Nightwing.

"Robin's a get-in-the-way kid. Sable will just give him a spanking, send him to his room with no supper…and then she'll kill him." Deadpool answered.

_For close-quarter combat, the Silver Sable would wield a handheld weapon to take down her attackers…_

_The Saber: a razor-sharp single-handed sword made for close-quarter fighting._

Saber:  
Size: 2-3ft  
Weight: 3lbs  
Substance: Carbon Steel

"This, my fellow fighters, is the saber." Deadpool said, holding out the sword, "Sable prefers this weapon because it allows her to not only move swiftly, but to fight in enclosed spaces. With most weapons, ya need room. But with this, she's able to step in close enough to kiss ya and still deliver a killing strike."

"It's a pretty scary thought, too." Lunatic joked, "And the sheer speed of this weapon is phenomenal."

"With a saber, one can cut through necks, hack off limbs, and run people through." Deadpool said, showing a few practice moves with the curved sword.

_To test the killing potential of Silver Sable's blade of death, Deadpool is given a ballistics gel torso; the same density of human flesh and complete with arms and a head._

"Poor little gel sap." Deadpool said, patting the torso on the shoulder, "You only got made so you could get pulverized; everyday life for me."

"Any problems, Wade?" TL asked.

"Nope."

"Alright, so are you ready?" TL added.

"Yup."

"Three…"

Before TL could even finish, Deadpool took the saber and hacked at the torso's left arm, cutting it almost to the point of total amputation. With another swing, Deadpool corrected that mistake, and the arm fell to the floor.

Deadpool pulled back the saber, then slammed its sharpened edge into the dummy's neck, cutting it to the point of scraping the spinal chord. He pulled it back a second time, then slashed the dummy across the gut, spilling its guts.

"Wow. Didn't even let me finish." TL said, impressed, "I'm lucky we got the footage, too."

"What?" Deadpool asked, "I got impatient. Wouldn't YOU?"

TL thought it over, then laughed, "Okay, you got me there."

Sgt. Reynol went in to gauge the damage and whistled, impressed. "We've got a massacre on our hand. That first swipe cut through the bicep muscle, so this guy can't use his arm and will die of severe blood loss."

He pulled open the neck wound. "This would almost sever the spinal chord and probably cut open the throat and important blood vessels. But it's this stomach wound that got my attention." Ray pulled open the wound a little, "If those last two wounds didn't happen and he got this one first, he would watch his guts spill on the ground and then die."

_But as effective as the saber was, Team Robin just isn't packing it in._

"It's a nice cutting tool, but it's a short weapon." Nightwing pointed out, "With a longer weapon like ours, you won't get close enough to use that kitchen knife."

"Really?" Punisher asked, bluntly.

"Yeah. We've got our trusted staff." Batgirl answered, holding up a small, metal rod.

_Robin answers the Silver Sable's saber with the Bo Staff: a retractable, easily-concealed weapon made to beat the enemy into submission._

Bo Staff:  
Size: 4-5ft  
Weight: 1lb  
Substance: Steel  
Feature: Extendable

"This is a weapon I used when I was under the mantle of Robin." Nightwing said, holding out a two-foot rod, "It doesn't look like much, but at this size, it's easily concealable. You can also extend it, too…"

To prove his point, Nightwing pressed a small button on the staff and the staff extended from both ends until it was five feet long.

"Why would you use a weapon like this?" Lunatic asked.

"This weapon is idealistic for Robin because he, unlike most crime fighters, wants to take these guys in and interrogate them." Batgirl answered, "This will disarm and knock out the enemy as opposed to just taking their heads off."

_To test the power of the bo staff, Nightwing is given three clay pots to simulate fresh skulls. But he is also given a ballistics gel head to test his mettle._

"You ready, Grayson?" TL asked.

"Yessir."

"Three…two…one…SMASH IT!"

With a roar, Nightwing swung his staff vertically to smash the first pot in front of him. He spun around, then smashed the staff down on the next one in a vertical smash. Finally, to take out the last pot, he thrust with the staff and smashed it with the tip.

Now for the real test, he swung his staff at the gel head. The strike didn't do much other than jar the head, but he followed it up with a horizontal swing before swinging upward and catching it across the chin.

"I dunno about you, but I'm pretty sure this guy's brain is feeling like mush on the inside of his skull." Lunatic said, looking it over.

"I ran a pressure test on that gel head and, from those readings, I'd say that all those blows were knockout blows." TL said, looking over some footage.

As the team looked at the slow-motion footage, Ray pointed something out. "I do like this feature where, when the staff hits something, it bends and then flexes to hit the target again. Also, as we've learned from boxing, multiple hits can knock someone out, not just one knockout punch."

"I will say that this did strike from a further reach than the saber and did have several uses, but is it potential enough to kill someone? I say 'no'." TL said, shaking his head in disappointment.

"A better question is this: Is this weapon fast enough and proficient enough to disarm a person and force them to move on to other weapons?" Batgirl corrected.

_So, which warrior's close-quarter combat weapon gets the edge?_

"The staff is fast and versatile, but it's not a lethal weapon. The saber, we saw kills from it and it was built to be a killing weapon." Ray said, holding up a saber, "I'm putting my money on the weapon that WILL kill: the saber."

_In close-quarter combat, Silver Sable takes an early lead with the saber._

_But Robin's team is just taking off the gloves as they strike back with their long-range assault: flying, spinning boomerangs._

_The Birdarang: a crimson and golden streak that flies through the air and slams into enemies with stunning force._

Birdarang:  
Size: 8in  
Weight: 1lb  
Substance: Steel  
Range: 40ft

"If someone's getting away, Robin will use one of these." Batgirl said, holding up a Birdarang, "It works like your average boomerang, only it flies in a straighter line and has a blade-like edge on the inner curve of the wings."

Ray held the birdarang and felt the edge up to the point. "Wow, that is pretty sharp: it's like a scalpel that you throw."

Taking some distance, Batgirl took three Birdarangs in hand, took aim, then threw one at a wooden target. The Birdarang flew through the air, creating an audible whistle through the air, and lodged its wing into the wooden target.

Batgirl pulled back the second one and hurled it at the next wooden target. It also embedded itself in the wood, and soon it wasn't alone, for the third and final one lodged itself in the target right next to it.

"Nice marksmanship, Batgirl." Ray said, impressed, "I'm more curious about what this thing would do to a human body, though. Can we try something like that?"

"Sure." Batgirl said with a nod.

Batgirl took a single Birdarang, then aimed at a foam torso. She pulled back, then threw it. The boomerang blade lodged itself in the dummy's pectoral and Ray was soon inspecting it.

"I have to say that THIS would be painful." The ex-SOLDIER put out, "This would pierce muscle tissue and bruise a rib maybe. The problem is that this is NOT a killing blow. It's crippling, but it's not lethal."

"Well, that's this weapon's purpose." Batgirl pointed out, "Stun the enemy and make sure he can't move."

"So, it sets people up for the kill, right?" Lunatic asked.

"Correct."

_Team Sable also has a wicked throwing weapon: one they say has more cutting power._

Deadpool held up a half-moon-shaped, four-inch blade, then threw it at a nearby target. It embedded itself into the target, showing that it had three prongs instead of the traditional two.

_The Chai: half-moon-shaped throwing weapons that have great cutting power on one end and great piercing power on the other._

Chai:  
Size: 4in  
Weight: under 1lb  
Substance: Titanium  
Range: 25ft

"THIS, my fine fellows, is the Chai." Deadpool said, holding out the small, semicircular weapon, "Sable uses this in pretty much the same way that bird-boy uses those little toys of his."

"We're right here, y'know that?" Nightwing asked.

"Yeah." Deadpool answered, "So, what's your point?"

"What's the lethality of this thing, anyway?" TL asked.

"This thing is sharp all the way round, unlike that birdarang there." Deadpool answered, "If one can feel this sharp edge-OW!" Deadpool was tracing the outside of the chai and had accidentally cut his fingertip.

He was thankful for his healing factor by this point.

"Okay, put your money where your mouth is, Wade. Let's see how well you can use those things." Lunatic challenged.

Deadpool took a chai in hand, took a deep breath, then threw it at a wooden target. The circular throwing weapon plunged into the wood. Deadpool pulled back the next one, then threw it at a further target. This one hit, but didn't go in as deep. The final target, which was furthest from Deadpool at about thirty feet went unscathed. The chai missed the target completely.

"Hey, buddy, you missed a spot." Nightwing called.

"Yeah, well just wait till I try it on the foam torso in a few seconds." Deadpool replied.

"What are you talking about?" Nightwing asked.

_Wanting a better target (and because Deadpool should get what he wants), Wade takes aim at a foam torso…_

Deadpool grinned under his mask as he took the chai, then threw it at the torso. The blade whistled through the air and buried itself into the torso's shoulder.

"This is a better-placed shot, but I'd say this isn't a kill shot." Ray pointed out, "You just took out this guy's arm, but he's still alive."

"Ah, dangit." Deadpool grumbled.

_Both warrior's long-range weapons weren't very effective, but which one gives their warrior the slight advantage?_

"Birdarang vs. Chai?" TL asked, "It's a toughie because both did little damage, but in terms of range and a slighter chance of more agony, I'm giving the edge to the Birdarang. It can go further and hit more accurately than the chai. First hit equals first distinct advantage."

_In long-range weapons, Robin gets the edge with the Birdarang._

_

* * *

_

In terms of hand-to-hand combat, Robin and Silver sable had one thing in common. They were superbly skilled.

"Robin knows what Batman knows." Nightwing pointed out, "And Bats has mastered several forms of fighting: Jujitsu, Karate, Tae Kwon-do, and just about every fighting style known to man. And guess who he passed that fighting down to? Robin, of course."

"The Silver Sable is not just some woman who randomly decided to fight." Punisher also pointed out, "She had been training since she was a little girl and even has some of her meeting while fighting five or six people. This is devotion to skill at its best."

____

But if fists aren't enough, both can rely on bombs.

_First off, Silver Sable's M61 grenade: one of the most commonly used hand grenades in the United States._

M61 Grenade:  
Size: 4.6in  
Weight: 1.3lb  
Blast Radius: 15ft

"This weapon can clear any room you put it in." Punisher pointed out, "All you do is pull the fuse, toss it where your enemy may be, and then wait a few seconds. When that time is up, your enemy's DEAD."

_To test the M61's effectiveness in battle, our team has rigged a small room with three criminal stand-ins._

"Okay, Punisher, if you're familiar with your work, then you can get the picture of what we're aiming for." TL said, gesturing to the room.

"My kind of scenario." Punisher said, his face still as cold as ever.

"Well, first thing first, let us get outta here." Lunatic said, heading for the hills.

Punisher took out the safety pin, took quick aim, then threw the grenade into the room. After getting a reasonable distance away, the grenade went off with a bang and kicking up dust.

"We have some SERIOUS damage here." Ray said, making sure to watch his step, "This dummy here has frag embedded in several places in his chest. But he's probably deaf from the explosion. His friends here, I see one kill here while this other guy…"

"May still be alive." TL said, inspecting him, "He's hurt, but he's okay…for now."

"That's right. 'For now'. Because when Sable gets in the room, he's gonna be savoring those last seconds of life." Deadpool corrected.

"Good point." Lunatic said with a nod.

_Team Robin is unmoved._

"That thing takes a few seconds to go off and you have to throw it at a high arc if you want to throw it far." Nightwing said, competently, "If we want to blow stuff up, we'll do it with a disk grenade. Less effort, less time to see it coming, more blast, and more distance."

_The Disk Grenade: a flying, spinning discus that explodes on contact with its intended target._

Disk Grenade:  
Size: 7in  
Weight: 2lbs  
Blast Radius: 20ft

"This is the disk grenade." Batgirl said, handing the team a bronze-colored disk with a blue center, "You press this button on the top of the disk and that makes it impact-sensitive. Then you throw it, you do it like a shuriken so that it flies forward, and it will destroy whatever you throw it at."

"Is it an accurate weapon?" TL asked.

"Of course." Batgirl answered.

_To test the destructive power of the disk grenade, our team has rigged a wall to simulate the back alley of the streets of Gotham. A bullseye will show where Batgirl must hit, and they will also test if the blast can take out three criminal stand-ins._

"So, here's what you do, Batgirl." Ray explained, "Hit this target and then we'll see if the blast was powerful enough to take these guys out. Can you handle something that simple?"

"You bet I could." Batgirl said with a nod.

The team got a good distance away, save Batgirl, who looked ready to throw.

"Ready?" TL called

"I'm ready."

"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!"

Batgirl pressed the button on the disk grenade, then threw it at the target. The grenade whistled through the air, struck the stripe just under the red center and exploded with a blast even greater than that of Silver Sable's grenade.

"WHOA!" Lunatic said in surprise.

_Team Robin delivers, but was it effective?_

"Great damage here, and it's surprisingly accurate, too." Ray said, looking over the damage, "The grenade didn't even hit the dummies, just the target. We have severe damage done to the back due to fragmentation from both grenade and even the objects around them."

"So, any of these guys making it home?" Lunatic asked.

"Absolutely not." Ray answered, "They're all done for."

_Hi-speed footage also reveals the Disk Grenade's deadly accuracy and distance advantage._

"Nice shot here, girl." TL said, looking over the footage, "You went a little under, but you hit the target perfectly. And when that thing hit, it just went 'BOOM'. You gave your enemy no time to realize what had just hit them. The M61 grenade gives your enemy a few seconds to actually realize what's going on and get away. Edge to the disk grenade."

_Team Robin takes the edge with the Disk Grenade._

_Now, both teams bring out their traditional side-arms in an attempt to shred the competition._

* * *

_In terms of their jobs, Robin and Silver Sable both fought the meanest criminals on the streets. But that's where the similarity ends._

_Robin would brutalize his enemies, but he would keep them alive for information extraction._

"If you kill a person, you're not going to get anything from them." Nightwing explained, "By interrogating him, you can find out who he's working for, his motivation, and find out what his group is planning next. THAT is why Robin keeps them alive."

_Silver Sable is not as friendly. If she has an enemy, she will hunt her target down, get over any obstacle, and make sure the target STAYS down._

"This kid thinks that criminals DESERVE a second chance." Punisher growled, "If he doesn't want to kill, he could go back to being a civilian or die because he can't kill a murderer who would waste no time in killing him."

_To strike his enemies down from a distance, Robin would use a firearm…of a sort._

_The Stun Blaster: Robin's sidearm that creates a blinding flash, an electrical jolt, and can be amplified for a kill strike._

Stun Blaster:  
Size: 9in  
Weight: 3lbs  
Range: 50ft  
Ammo: Electricity  
Rounds: Unlimited, but overheats  
RPM: 1 per trigger pull

"This is the stun blaster." Nightwing said, holding out what looked like a pistol, but with a complex generator in the back, "Robin primarily uses this if his enemy is one he doesn't like getting particularly close to. You just adjust this generator back here and the voltage rate increases if you do it."

"So, this COULD be a lethal weapon?" TL asked.

"It could, but Robin primarily uses it to stun his enemies, paralyze them, or disorient them." Nightwing answered.

_To test the stun blaster's effectiveness on a live human target, TL has set up a dummy with electrical sensors._

"From the reading I get on these sensors, I can tell if the electricity generated will be enough to kill an enemy or just leave him stunned." TL explained.

"So, what am I gonna do to this guy?" Nightwing asked.

"Just fire one blast from that thing at the dummy, then I'll tell you if you've nailed him or not." TL answered.

"Sounds easy enough…"

Nightwing got a good distance, took quick aim with the stun blaster, then fired. A loud 'bang' came from the gun as a bright light shot the dummy straight in the chest.

"I'm getting about a voltage readout similar to that of a taser hitting someone. This guy is grounded for sure." TL informed.

"So, if that hit an arm or leg, he can't use it. But if that hit him in the head or neck, then that guy's dead, right?" Lunatic asked.

_That was the good news, but now it's time for the bad._

"I've been confident in Robin up until now." TL said, downheartedly, "They were saying this would be their secret weapon and were going to use it as a lethal weapon. That's NOT what we saw here. I am COMPLETELY disregarding this thing as an effective weapon."

"Why don't you stop wasting time with that toy and let us show you a REAL weapon?" Punisher asked, holding up a small gun with a magazine coming out its handle.

_Silver Sable counters the stun blaster with the MAC-10: a machine pistol used often because of its ease to conceal, light weight, and DEADLY firepower._

MAC-10:  
Size: 10.7in  
Weight: 2.84kg  
Range: 150ft  
Ammo: 32 rounds  
Rounds: 9mm  
RPM: 1090

Out at the firing range, Punisher showed the team a small, lightweight gun with a large clip magazine sticking out of the handle.

"This is a REAL gun." Punisher pointed out, "It's a much more efficient weapon than that toy they call a weapon."

"Well, first off, this is a machine pistol." Lunatic pointed out, "Its small size, plus the kick from the full-auto could mean trouble. Is it accurate?"

"Trust me. Anything within a hundred feet can be downed by this thing." Punisher answered.

_To simulate a realistic background, Punisher is given a full clip containing thirty rounds. A room is set up with five criminals on motorized platforms_.

"Ready, Punisher?"

"Yes."

"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!"

Punisher stayed his ground and, as the first dummy emerged from its hiding spot, Punisher pulled the trigger on the MAC-10 and riddled the target with a hail of bullets. The second target wasn't too far away, so Punisher nailed it with just as much ease. He had just caught the fifth target with five rounds when his clip ran empty.

"Wow…nice handiwork, Frank." Lunatic said, only to be seized by his collar by the Punisher.

"NEVER call me that again." Punisher growled.

"Sorry."

"So, what's amazing is that you planted seven rounds each into these guys, five in this one over here." Ray said, looking over each target, "You nailed them mostly in the face and chest; there's NO mercy here."

"Of course there's no mercy." Punisher stated, "No mercy will be shown to me or the Sable. Why should we show it?"

_So, which warrior's distance weapon gives them the edge?_

"The stun gun is flashy and can set one up for a kill, but we saw kills from the MAC-10. And in DEADLIEST Warrior, we want the weapon with the higher kill factor." Ray explained, "Stunned vs. Death. Gotta go with death."

_The Edge in Special Weapons goes to Silver Sable._

* * *

_Our weapons have been tested, so now it is time to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior: Robin or Silver Sable?_

_In close-range weapons, cold steel clashed as Silver Sable's Saber went up against Robin's Bo Staff._

"The staff had potential with its range and speed, but it was unable to deliver a killing blow, and this is Deadliest Warrior. The saber, on the other hand, saw kill shots and could get in too close for the staff to actually strike. Edge to the Saber."

Edge: Silver Sable

_For both teams, their long-range weapons weren't very effective. Robin's Birdarang vs. Silver Sable's Chai…_

"Neither of these throwing weapons had a lot of potential, but the birdarang is heavier, so it can cause more damage if it does hit. It's also more aerodynamic, so it'll fly farther, too. Sable's chai won't have as much luck there."

Edge: Robin

_In explosive weapons, Silver Sable's M61 grenade went up against Robin's Disk Grenade._

"The M61 made a 'bang', but the disk grenade made a 'boom'. It has a larger blast radius, can fly greater distance, and it explodes when it DOES hit something. Edge to the Disk Grenade."

Edge: Robin

_Finally, both teams brought out their special weapons. Robin's Stun Blaster vs. Silver Sable's MAC-10._

"The stun gun can cause potential paralysis, blindness, and maybe a kill if it hit the head or neck. But the MAC-10 took out multiple people, has fully-automatic features, and is purely used as aa killing weapon. Go with the MAC, if you want to win."

Edge: Silver Sable

_It will be a battle of opposites…_

_Efficiency…_

(Robin strikes an enemy with his staff, then grounds another with another blow from his weapon.)

_Versus Cold Blood_

(Silver Sable uses astounding martial arts to fight off multiple attackers.)

_Restraint…_

(Robin fires a stun blaster, electrocuting the enemy and sending him to the ground.)

_Versus Lethality_

(Sable busts a door down with her foot before open firing on a group of gangsters with a MAC-10.)

Lunatic pressed the key and the battle was on.

-The Fight-

In the back alleys of Gotham City, Robin pulled up from his Bird Bike and removed his helmet. According to his resources, this was where a criminal organization gathered every week. If he missed his chance now, they would never return.

Unbeknownst to Robin, someone had already beaten him there.

Robin opened the door and found, to his horror that the criminals were here…and they were all dead.

Hearing a ruckus, he slunk, silently to the back room and saw the door was ajar. He looked inside to see Silver Sable trying to get some form of information from the last living person in the room.

Upon getting spat in the face, Sable took her MAC-10, pointed it at the criminal's forehead, then fired.

That was it. Robin HAD to take duty.

He reached for his stun gun, but when he raised it to fire, Sable had just turned to leave and saw him. Not hesitating, Robin fired his stun gun, but the only good thing he pulled off was that he created a smoldering patch in the wall.

Silver Sable had dropped to the floor, her machine pistol still in hand, and fired at him. Robin barely ducked behind the doorway as the room suddenly rang with the sound of bullets.

Sable scowled at having missed her target, then took out an M61 grenade and lobbed it out the door. Robin quickly spotted the explosive and took cover before the grenade went off with a BOOM.

Robin looked back into the room to see Sable making her way out, then took out a disk grenade and lobbed it at her. She simply rolled under it, resulting in it flying past her and causing the room it landed in to explode.

Robin took a Birdarang off his belt, then tossed it at Sable. The boomerang hit her across the arm, earning a grunt in pain from the woman, but not ending the fight.

Sable removed the birdarang, took out her own throwing weapon, the chai, then threw it at Robin. Robin rolled under this attack.

And then they realized that it was time to get down and dirty. Robin took out a metal rod that extended to its full length while the Sable took out her trusted saber.

Robin spun his staff while the Sable simply readied herself and, with a roar from Robin, both clashed.

Robin had a clear reach advantage, his staff being almost double the length of the saber, but Sable was so nimble a warrior that she was able to weave in and out of Robin's strikes. If Robin swung high, she'd duck low and strike upwards. If Robin swept low, she'd jump high, then strike downward. But Robin was also a hardened warrior. If Sable struck high, he'd block high and come low. If that didn't work, he'd come high again.

Finally, the boy wonder got in a lucky blow and smacked Sable in the side with his bo staff. Sable cried out in surprise, but did NOT let her guard down for a second. She struck with her saber, and Robin blocked, but she followed up with a thrusting kick that sent Robin staggering backward.

Robin jumped in the air to perform a downward strike that the Sable sidestepped. He thrust with it, catching her in the gut, then followed with a horizontal strike that sent her tumbling. Sable was back on her feet in no time, though, and got up with a thrust that grazed Robin's left leg, shedding blood.

Robin yelped in surprise, but put his defense back up and put a little distance between him and her.

Both Robin and Silver Sable circled each other, eyes squinted in focus. Should they make the slightest mistake, it would certainly cost them their lives.

Sable thrust with the saber only to meet a parry from Robin's staff. He then spun to plant the heel of his foot into Sable's side. Sable stumbled, but when Robin advanced on her, she sidestepped a vertical strike, then stepped on the staff's end, pinning the weapon to the ground. She then used her free hand to sock Robin across the face and send him to the ground. Robin was quick to get to his feet and swiftly landed a punch in her gut. The woman fell back slightly, but Robin barely had time to get his staff back in his hand and swing down when something seized his forearms.

Silver Sable had seized him in mid-swing and proceeded to jam her saber up into Robin's bicep muscle, causing the boy to scream in pain and drop his staff. The saber had cut into a nerve in his elbow that caused indescribable pain and lose feeling in his hand.

Sable then took her saber out, maneuvered behind Robin, grabbed him by the hair, and pulled backward, forcing his neck out. She then took the saber, put its sharp edge to Robin's neck and slowly drew it across.

Robin clawed, uselessly, at his throat and screamed until he couldn't scream anymore. A collar of blood was slowly making its way down his throat...

Sable slowly dropped Robin to the ground, where the Boy Wonder lay perfectly still.

Sable sheathed her saber, then huffed down at him. "Brat." She spat, then made her exit.

-end-

Winner: Silver Sable

"Out of a thousand battles," Lunatic explained, "Silver Sable emerged decisively victorious with sixty-two point four percent of the victories."

Silver Sable:  
Saber: 250  
Chai: 9  
M61: 52  
MAC-10: 313  
All-in-all kills: 624

"Robin could only achieve thirty-seven point six percent of the kills." Lunatic added.

Robin:  
Staff: 111  
Birdarang: 12  
Disk Grenade: 251  
Stun Blaster: 2  
All-in-all kills: 376

"This was due primarily to the fact that Silver Sable's arsenal was aimed to KILL. Robin's weapons were effective to stun the enemy, but keep them alive for interrogation." Lunatic explained, "The only effective tool in his arsenal was the disk grenade."

"If Robin's mindset was based on killing, he probably would have stood a better chance against Sable." Ray pointed out, "Sometimes, killing your enemy is the only way you can win."

"In the end, Robin is NOT a deadly warrior. He's an effective warrior, but he's not a deadly one." TL summed up, "Congrats, Sable."

"Sorry, Bird-boy." Deadpool mocked, "Maybe next time…nyah-nyah!"

(Silver Sable throws a chai, then whips out her MAC-10 and guns it down in midair.)

_With apologies to Batman fans…_

Next Time…

_Deepground: the subsection of SOLDIER that led Weiss the Immaculate's evil charge for world destruction._

_VS._

_The Black Arms: the malevolent alien race that nearly enslaved humanity and needed their own blood to stop them._

_Stay tuned…_


	15. Deepground vs Black Arms

**Deepground**

(A soldier with gray getup and electric-blue outlining takes aim with an assault rifle.)

The deadly top-secret Shinra organization who led Weiss the Immaculate's evil charge for world annihilation.

(A troop of Deepground soldiers opens fire on the WRO, one using a rocket launcher to take out an assault carrier.)

**The Black Arms**

(A black and red alien snarls as he takes a few swings with a jagged blade.)

The alien race that invaded the planet and aided Black Doom's attempt to enslave humanity.

(A team of Black Arms stormed through a city, destroying vehicles, and shooting GUN soldiers just as easily.)

_WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?_

_To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe-to-toe._

_No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is…_

_**The Deadliest Warrior**_

In the fight club, two teams were looking through their arms and practicing team-fire maneuvers.

_In our fight club, we're prepping for a blow-by-blow battle. We've gathered a team of doctors, scientists, and combat specialists, all to decide who would win between two of humanity's most notorious enemies._

_Deepground: the lethal warriors produced deep below the ruins of Midgar and bred only to fight._

_VS…_

_The Black Arms: overwhelming alien forces of the Black Comet that only know ferocity and duty._

**Deepground:  
****Size: 6'  
****Weight: 145lbs  
****Gear: 24lbs  
****Armor: None**

**Black Arms:  
****Size: 6' 2"  
****Weight: 156lbs  
****Gear: 19lbs  
****Armor: None**

A white hedgehog studied a target with some form of blast wound in its torso.

_Biomedical engineer and media man, __**TLSoulDude**__, will analyze the forces that the two warriors will bring to the battle._

"These are some of humanity's most vile enemies, but we're not talking about their reasons or beliefs, we're just taking their weapons and seeing who wins." TL explained quickly.

A man with a military getup, buzz-cut, and a black beret kept a keen eye on the things that would happen.

_Biologist and weapons expert, __**Sgt. Reynol**__, will give his medical advice on the blows exchanged._

"Both these guys are lethal and cold-blooded killers. They'll kill you without a second's hesitation. In fact, they'll even feel good about it." Ray said, obviously as a warning.

A spiky-haired, redheaded ninja looked the test over, then typed something into a computer.

_Computer wiz, __**Lunatic 121**__, will gather test data and insert it into a program developed by Slytherine Studios to decide who would win._

"Deepground and the Black Arms are two completely different races. It's basically man vs. beast this time around." Lunatic explained.

_Since both Deepground and the Black Arms are bringing firearms to the fray, Lunatic sets things up for a five-on-five showdown. Five Deepground foot soldiers against five Black Arm aliens locked in a no-holds-barred battle to become the Deadliest Warrior._

A nine-year-old girl picked up a sword, testing its weight, then nodded a confirmation.

_Rooting for Shinra's top-secret project is a former Tsviet and spy for Deepground, __**Shelke the Transparent.**_

"Deepground is not a force to be taken lightly." Shelke said, her voice oddly monotonous, "It took almost all of the WRO, the old AVALANCHE group, and Vincent Valentine to defeat them."

A man in a WRO outfit, a white and tan military gear, took an odd gun and checked its aim. He had long, brown hair and a mustache/beard combination.

_**Reeve Tuesti** is a veteran of a war against Shinra. He was also the driving force in the battle against Deepground._

"Deepground is intelligent, well-armed, and they have all kinds of resources on their side." Reeve explained, "If the best WRO agents put together couldn't take them down, how could a mindless alien race?"

_Deepground was a top-secret section of the Shinra organization, hidden deep under what are now the ruins of the Shinra building. Three years after Meteorfall, Deepground rose from the disaster's smoke to try and resurrect a powerful being known as Omega._

"Deepground's plan was simple." Shelke explained, "They were going to resurrect Omega, have the being gather all life on the planet, and then create a new world. The problem was that they did not take into account that the planet's time had not come. That's why the WRO had to try and stop them."

_But what of a force beyond humanity? Two experts have placed their money on the unstoppable alien race; the Black Arms._

A black hedgehog with red streaks took up a very alien firearm, then took practice aim.

_**Shadow the Hedgehog**__ has Black Arm DNA running through his vein. His creation was partaken by the Black Arm leader, Black Doom._

"Deepground has spent their whole lives underground." Shadow insulted, "The Black Arms were training specially for their return to Earth for over fifty years. If you compare the devotions to each other's goals, then Deepground is barely out of infancy."

A tall man with a long, bushy mustache, sunglasses, and a red coat inspected a blaster. He hummed, interested in the technology of this device.

_Also supporting the Black Arms, __**Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik**__ will be testing the lethal firearms that the alien race wielded in their war against man._

"The Black Arms were ferocious in the field of battle." Eggman pointed out, "They will stop for no one and for nothing to attain their goals, especially not for some puny, underground force."

_The Black Arms are native to the Black Comet: a meteorite that enters Earth's orbit once every fifty years. Their leader, Black Doom, saw mankind as misguided and tried to correct their ways with VIOLENCE._

"The Black Arms believed that humans were a corrupt species and that they were their only salvation." Shadow explained, "But their version of 'salvation' was through enslavement and destruction of free will."

_Fifty years after their previous visit, the Black Arms launched their attack on Earth to enslave humanity and use them as an energy source._

_So, if these two organizations met, which force would BURY the other?_

"I'm giving my pre-game prediction to Deepground." Lunatic put out, "I don't like it, but they've taken out so many WRO forces that stood against them. That means they're the best at what they do: kill people."

"I think that the Black Arms' weaponry is going to be so alien as to what Deepground is expecting." TL explained, "And I think it's that X-factor that will give them the necessary advantage."

_Deepground strikes in with the DG-42 Assault Rifle: Deepground's lethal semi-automatic weapon of death._

DG-42:  
Size: 32in  
Weight: 5lbs  
Ammo: 9mm  
Rounds: 32  
RPM: 490

"This is the DG-42." Reeve said, handing the team a very foreign machine gun. If Ray had to compare it to something, it would be a cross between an AK-47 and an M1 Carbine.

"You have good stopping power with this firearm." Shelke relayed, "And it has a range advantage to most of the Black Arm weapons."

"Is it reliable?" TL asked.

"Yes. Really, the only time it'll stop firing is when it runs out of ammo." Reeve said with a nod.

_To test the deadly power of Deepground's lethal weapon, our team heads outside to gauge its power._

Outside, the research team led Reeve to a concrete wall with a few plastic dummies that looked eerily like Black Arms.

"Here, we've got four Black Arms for you to take out. You'll have one clip, thirty-two rounds, to take 'em all out." TL explained, "Can you handle that, Reeve?"

"Absolutely." Reeve said with a nod.

Reeve took a DG-42 in hand, then aimed it at the first target.

"Ready?"

"Yessir." Reeve confirmed.

"Three! Two! One! FIRE!"

Reeve opened fire with a three-round burst from the DG-42. The first three rounds collided with the first Black Arm's chest. Moving to the next target, Reeve pulled the trigger for the one on the alien stand-in on the far left. Three more holes appeared in its side, dripping with a greenish liquid.

Reeve then concentrated his fire on the remaining two dummies and pumped them both with lead.

"Woo-hoo!" Lunatic whooped, "Nice shootin', Tex."

"I wasn't a war hero for nothing." Reeve said, rejoining the team.

"Okay, let's see if that gun is as lethal as you all say it is." Ray said, looking over the alien stand-ins. He inspected the first three hits…

"Well, I don't really know my alien anatomy, but I'd wager that a cluster of bullets in the chest cavity is a kill shot for this one." Ray said, looking over the triangle of bullet wounds, then moved to the next one. "Oh, we have a definite head shot here. I don't know if Black Arms are that intelligent, but they still need their brains to stay alive. This is a kill shot."

Looking over the last two dummies, he noticed something. The wounds were in the gut, but still leaked blood. "Okay, the guy on the left got a less mortal wound, but he's going to be down and will die in a few minutes."

"This last one is definitely down, but the wound is in the shoulder area." Ray said, gesturing at the last one, "He can't use that arm, but if he had a gun, he'd probably swap hands and still try to fire."

"But still, that's three of the Black Arms down." Reeve pointed out, "And one of them is going to be dead when another Deepground soldier shows up."

"Black Arms would NOT be stupid to just let you gun them all down." Shadow said, shaking his head, "They would shoot you down before you realize you have to fire."

_Deepground has struck hard, but the damage is just beginning. Hi-speed footage also shows the DG-42's astounding accuracy._

"Wow." Lunatic said, watching the footage, "You're planting at least three rounds in each alien and yet aiming fast enough so that they can't fire back in time."

"Yeah, it's amazing because most submachine guns are spraying weapons. But here, you're taking the time to place your shots, take them out quickly, and still have plenty of ammunition."

"It's all because of Deepground's hardcore combat training, which is beyond even that of the WRO." Shelke pointed out, "They're trained to focus, to shoot without hesitation, and to kill."

_But the Black Arms also pack their own submachine gun; one that could be millennia ahead of human firearms._

_The Flash Shot: a fork-barreled repeating laser that the Black Arms use to decimate their enemies._

Flash Shot:  
Size: 29in  
Weight: 4lbs  
Ammo: Crimson Energy  
Rounds: 30  
RPM: 360

"The Flash Shot is completely alien to humans." Dr. Eggman said, showing off a silvery gun-like weapon with a barrel that forked off into two different projections, "It's lightweight because there are no bullets; strict laser fire."

"So, lighter weight means more maneuverability?" TL asked.

"Yes. It can also maneuver in tight spaces." Eggman added.

_To demonstrate the Flash Shot's firepower, Eggman is given a fresh blaster containing thirty blasts. The target: four Deepground stand-ins in a realistic background._

"We have four targets in Deepground helmets." TL said, gesturing to a brick wall, "The wall is to simulate the back alley where they could be waiting to ambush you. Your goal: take 'em out."

Eggman grinned. "I like the sound of that."

Eggman took the Flash Shot like a pistol, then aimed at the Deepground stand-ins.

"Three! Two! One! FIRE!"

With just a flex of his index finger, Eggman opened fire, the blaster unleashing a barrage of crimson lasers. On hitting the dummy, a blast would spread like water, creating a nasty-looking burn wound on the dummy. And the fact that multiple ones were hitting these dummies, the burns would only get steadily worse.

Soon, Eggman's Flash Shot clicked. Empty.

_Eggman empties the Flash Shot's thirty-round capacity in a devastating burst of fire._

"These wounds are interesting because, these blasts didn't really penetrate the skin." Ray said, looking over the wounds, "But one blast from that alone left a gigantic burn wound, which causes massive trauma. If this guy was clothed, his clothes would probably catch fire and magnify the damage."

"BUT look at this one dummy over here." Ray said, pointing to a dummy on the far right, "He's still alive and may have been unscathed. So, he just watched his colleagues get killed and is probably taking out a gun and shooting back."

"Well, accuracy isn't a Black Arm's specialty." Shadow countered, "With this weapon, they usually spray their enemies down."

"But this demonstration just shows that if you were the last Black Arm, you would only take down a few of your enemies while the last one would kill you." Shelke shot down in her monotonous voice.

_The Black Arms have unleashed their deadly blast, but hi-speed footage also shows even more than what was shown._

"Oh wow, look at this." TL said, pointing at the screen, "This is the first round. It didn't penetrate, but the minute it hits, it bursts and widens the burn wound, causing more damage to the enemy."

_But which submachine gun gives their team the edge?_

"The Flash Shot made a bang. But the DG makes a BOOM." Lunatic put out, "The Flash Shot's rounds may pack a lot of damage, but you need multiple rounds for a kill. The DG is more accurate, has a further range, and it is possible to kill with one shot. That's where I put my money on; the DG-42."

_The numbers don't lie: the DG-42 gives Deepground the edge in mid-range weapons._

_

* * *

_

Deepground and the Black Arms: two great enemies of mankind destined for a bloody battle.

"Soldiers in Deepground know only combat." Shelke informed, "They're injected with mako and Jenova cells to enhance their performance, then trained for nothing other than killing."

"Deepground only fought at one particular time." Shadow shrugged off, "The Black Arms fought on several occasions, several forms of terrain, and used a wide variety of unpredictable weapons."

_Both Deepground and Black Arms would devastate anyone they came into contact with. They bring submachine guns for burst-fire, long-distance rifles, swords for close combat, and brutal heavy artillery._

_First up, the Black Arms…_

_The Black Barrel: the Black Arms' lethal rocket launcher._

Black Barrel:  
Size: 4ft  
Weight: 10lbs  
Range: 150ft

"This is the Black Barrel." Shadow said, holding out a deep violet, bulky cannon of sorts, "You can wipe out massive amounts of enemies with a weapon like this. It has a large range, and the blast radius is massive."

"Well, it looks pretty heavy for a handheld weapon." Reeve pointed out, then heaved up a heavy-looking cannon, "With something like this, you've met your match."

_Deepground's Shoulder-Mounted Rocket Launcher: allowing a soldier to take the massive kick and fire rockets at their hapless victims._

Shoulder-Mounted Rocket Launcher:  
Size: 4ft  
Weight: 15lbs  
Range: 150ft

"The shoulder cannon was used only by Deepground's strongest soldiers." Shelke informed as Reeve hefted a heavy cannon onto his shoulder, "Once this thing is fired, there's nothing you can do to stop it. You either avoid it or die."

"You look like you have a hard time heaving that thing around." Eggman said, hiding a laugh, "If you had a Black Arm behind you, you would be dead before you could even fire that thing."

_To settle the debate between these two fighters' heavy artillery, our team sets up two different backgrounds. With alien structures and dummies, Team Deepground will attack with their shoulder-mounted rocket launcher. And in the shanty, city alleyways, The Black Arms will attack Deepground with their Black Barrel._

_First up, Deepground…_

"Ready Reeve?" TL called.

Reeve lumbered towards his site, clad in heavy armor and the launcher at the ready. In front of him were strange alien pillars and three alien dummies.

"Ready, sir!" Reeve answered.

"THREE! TWO! ONE! FIRE!"

Reeve readied himself, then fired the rocket launcher. The rocket whistled through the air, then slammed into the structure before detonating. The explosion it created would have put the RPG-7 to shame, catapulting all three aliens to the ground. The downside, though, was that the rocket did move a little sluggishly, but it was still no laughing matter.

_Now, it's the Black Arms' turn with the Black Barrel. Eggman takes aim…_

Eggman, in a robotic body, took the Black Barrel in hand, then waited for the signal. His target: three Deepground stand-ins in a city alleyway.

"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!"

With a flick of his finger, Eggman's robotic stand-in fired the Black Barrel. A burst of energy burst from the barrel and raced at the target, even faster than that of the Rocket Launcher. On impact with the wall, all three Deepground dummies flew forward and landed on the ground with a dull 'thud'.

_The damage speaks for itself, but how many were killed? And what other factors are there to consider? Pressure reading patches strapped to the dummies will reveal who lived and who died._

"I attached two patches to each dummy." TL filled in, "If we exceed the limit of the red patch, it's similar to getting in a thirty-mph-accident. But if the green patch is exceeded, they're dead."

"Okay, here are the results of the rocket launcher." The group said as they went onto the site.

"Okay, out of three targets, we have this guy who's lost his head. Obvious kill." Ray said, checking over the dummy, "This one guy's also dead from the sheer force of the blast." Ray indicated the green patch on its chest; dead. "But THIS guy…"

"The red is exceeded. Green isn't." Lunatic said, surprised.

"So, he's barely alive, his eardrums are popped, and he can barely crawl." TL summed up.

_Deepground has dealt a fatal blow, but what about the Black Arms?_

"Okay, this is a much clearer shot right here." TL said, indicating the wall, "All he really had to do was hit this wall and his targets were done for."

"So, all the damage is aimed at the back, including peppering. Even the wall itself has cracked and crumbled in places." Ray said, indicating a huge crack down the wall's center, "These two are dead with completely-compressed ribcages, so they're dying of suffocation."

Indeed, two of the Deepground stand-ins looked like they had their entire chests collapsed on them. Had they any organs, they wouldn't be able to breathe.

"What about this other guy here?" Lunatic asked, hefting it up, then got a good look at his chest, "Green patch is spiked!"

"So, this is three kills for the Black Arms and two kills for Deepground." TL summed up.

_Now that both have shown their prowess, which explosive weapon gets the edge?_

"Shoulder Rocket vs. Black Barrel…this is tough. But I have to go with the killing factor combined with the bigger blast. For that reason alone, I give it to the Black Barrel. We'll just see more kills from it than the shoulder-mounted rocket launcher."

_In explosive weapons, the Black Arms blow away their competition._

* * *

_In a clash between Deepground and the Black Arms, both teams specialized in one thing. They can go from close-quarter combat to long-range gunners at any given time. But what about hands-on experience?_

"Deepground was not only devastating, they were genuinely intelligent." Reeve filled in, "Thanks to their spies, they were usually able to stay one step ahead of the WRO. They would kill whoever they could whenever they could, and they would relish every minute of it."

"The Black Arms wouldn't stop for anything." Eggman filled in, "They could appear anywhere at any given time and disappear just as quickly. They had everything: ships, weapons, troops, and a base to retreat to for recuperation. They were like cockroaches; kill them, but they keep coming back."

_In close-quarter combat, both had a common factor: both could wield a razor-sharp blade._

"Deepground were excellent marksmen, but if it came down to bladed weapons, they weren't picky." Shelke stated, "Being part of Shinra at one point in their lives, they were no stranger to physical combat."

_Deepground's preferred weapon was the SOLDIER Blade: Used by most SOLDIER operatives, it could cleave a man in two._

SOLDIER Blade:  
Size: 3.5ft  
Weight: 4lbs  
Substance: Carbon Steel

"This is the SOLDIER blade." Shelke said, holding out an average-looking sword, "It's double-edged for cutting on either side, but this point means that you can also impale a person on it."

"I'm guessing that since the guys who wielded these were former SOLDIERS, that they'd be pretty strong with this sword?" Lunatic asked.

"A slash with this would probably sever a limb or take a man's head off." Shelke answered.

_To see if Shelke can back herself up, the SOLDIER blade will be tested on the closest thing to human flesh: a pig carcass._

"Up-and-coming doctors practice on pig tissue because it's very similar to that of a human." Ray informed, "So, the damage that Deepground's sword will do to this pig will be very similar to that done to a human being."

"Okay, Shelke, you ready?" TL called.

"Yes."

"Three! Two! ONE! CUT IT!"

Shelke's eyes glowed orange with mako energy and she went wild on the gel torso. With one hack, she smashed through most of the dummy's ribs with just one vertical swipe. In the next second, she brought the sword stabbing into its gut, spilling artificial blood all over the floor. And for the finishing touch, she slammed it into the dummy's neck, almost severing the head from the body.

"Wow…" Lunatic said, inspecting the damage, "I guess that she's not as harmless as she looks."

"I also liked the sheer agility she delivered." TL added, "Even though she's very short, she was able to decimate a guy which could be twice as big as she is."

"It just goes to show that size isn't everything. ANYONE can be a good warrior." Shelke said, the glow in her eyes now absent.

_But the Black Arms see more style than substance…_

"So, Deepground is good with a blade." Shadow said, indifferently, "Guess what? Black Arms have swords, too. They'll go straight through them, cut them in two, impale them."

_The Black Arms preferred side-weapon…_

_The Black Sword: easily as tall as the alien who wielded it, its uneven blade adds on to its deadly ripping power._

Black Sword:  
Size: 5ft  
Weight: 4.6lbs  
Substance: Black Arm Metal

"This is the Black Arms' favorite close-quarter weapon." Shadow said, holding out a crimson, jagged sword that was almost twice his height, "The jagged blade makes it a saw-like weapon, it'll go in quickly, but cut even deeper as it comes out."

"It looks nasty enough, but the way you wield it makes it even more frightening." Lunatic said, backing away a bit."

"The length keeps enemies at a distance, and at times it was reported that they would break in the bodies, causing even more damage." Shadow added.

_To test the Black Blade's efficiency, our team gives Shadow a ballistics gel horse head with the same density as skin, muscle, and bone._

Shadow smirked at the sight of his target. THIS was going to be fun…

"So, ready, Shadow?" TL called.

"Ready."

"THREE! TWO! ONE! CUT IT UP!"

With a grunt, Shadow swung the Black Sword at the horse head. The blade slammed into its neck and almost cut it in two. But with a simple saw-like jerk of the blade, the horse head loosened until it came clean off the neck.

"Oh man, that is SICK." TL said, impressed at the damage, "I definitely see blade fragments in this horse's neck. If this was another wound, I'd say these things would do even MORE damage as it continues cutting through the body."

"And the force behind it, I'd wager that'd take off a limb." Ray added.

_Both Deepground and Black Arms have proven their lethality with a blade. But which one gets the edge?_

"Both Deepground and the Black Arms have shown that size is no measure of strength in their books." Lunatic pointed out, "But in terms of sheer cutting power and length, I'm going to give the edge to the Black Arms with the Black Sword."

_The Black Arms take the edge in close-range weapons._

* * *

_Black Arms? Or Deepground? Two enemies of mankind destined for a deadly showdown._

_Deepground feels that their organized thinking and attack patterns will give them the necessary edge in the final battle._

"What plans did the Black Arms do in their attacks?" Reeve asked, "None. They have only one guy doing all the thinking. Deepground Soldiers were taught not only loyalty, but military tactics. Many a WRO agent was killed because they didn't realize that Deepground was so organized and strategic."

_The Black Arms believe they will take the day with brutal soldiers and weapons of all-out destruction._

"What happened with GUN soldiers is what will happen to Deepground." Shadow shot down, "They won't expect the Black Arms and will end up massacred. They won't have enough time to strategize because the Black Arms will be right on top of them."

_Attacking from a distance is a necessity in battle, and both had the right weapons for the job._

_Deepground's DG-12 Rifle: a long-range sniper capable of hitting targets from building roofs, canyon walls, and even aircraft._

DG-12:  
Size: 43in  
Weight: 5lbs  
Ammo: .50 cal  
Rounds: 5  
Range: 1000ft

"So, I've been hearing a lot about Deepground's sniping abilities. Care to fill me in?" Ray asked.

"Deepground was known to shoot down people from atop city spires." Shelke said, holding up the sniper rifle, "By the time you see a Deepground sniper, you're dead."

_To see if Shelke can back up her words, our team heads out to the firing range. There, the DG-12 will be put to the test._

"Well, you know the drill. We've set up a few dummies and we have one challenge." TL pointed out, "We're testing your accuracy; three dummies have the Deepground symbol. Don't, I repeat, DON'T hit them. The other three dummies with the Black Arm symbol, I want you to take 'em out."

"How about I hit them right between the eyes?" Shelke asked.

"Challenge accepted." TL said with a nod.

A few seconds later, Shelke was flat-out on her stomach, the DG-12 in hand. With one eye at the scope, she took careful aim at the group of dummies, full of concentration.

BANG!

One pull of the trigger launched a high-caliber round right at the dummies. And a hole was blown into the forehead of a Black Arm dummy.

Shelke nodded a confirmation, then aimed her rifle again. With another shot of the sniper rifle, a hole appeared between the dummy's eyes again. And another quick aim later, she had finished off the last remaining Black Arm dummy.

"That's all of them." Shelke said, getting up from her position.

_Our team goes in to assess the damage a Deepground sniper has inflicted…_

"This first guy is down for the count." Ray confirmed, "But since these are all head shots, that means they're all down. All I want is the accuracy…"

Lunatic and TL went to the other two dummies, inspected the shots, then nodded. "Right where she said she'd put them." TL confirmed.

"All between the eyes here…" Lunatic added.

_Deepground delivers an accurate kill, but the Black Arms are unimpressed._

"Snipers are cowards to the Black Arms." Eggman said, shaking his head, "They think that if they can't get the job done personally, it's not worth hiding. And if you want to dodge, you'd have to dodge their deadly Refractor."

_The Refractor: A favored Black Arm gun that, even if you dodge, you're not safe._

Refractor:  
Size: 4ft  
Weight: 7lbs  
Range: 350ft  
Ammo: Energy packet  
Rounds: 20

"This is the Refractor." Eggman said, holding out a long-barreled blaster, "It works similarly to a pistol, but in an enclosed space, you wouldn't want to dodge it. Reason being that it will bounce off walls until the energy fizzles out."

_To simulate the Refractor's main use, Eggman prepares to open fire on a true-to-life stand-in._

Out at the range, Eggman grinned at the sight of a simulated battle zone. Two brick walls about ten feet apart with three Deepground dummies sandwiched between them.

"So, you mainly specialize in the ricochet effect, right?" Lunatic asked.

"Precisely. Attempting to sidestep a blast from this is not a guaranteed save." Eggman answered.

After the team got a good distance away, Eggman took aim from a safer distance.

"Ready, Eggman?"

"Absolutely."

"THREE! TWO! ONE! FIRE!"

With just a movement of his index finger, Eggman unleashed three blasts at the left wall. When the blast hit the wall, it bounced off, hitting the other wall. The same thing happened until one blast hit a dummy square in the side. The dummy toppled backward while the other two were still standing, even when the remaining two blasts fizzled out.

"Wow." Ray said, "This is a bit more solid than the blasts of the Flash Shot we saw earlier. This, rather than just burn the person, burned a hole in him."

"It does worry me, though, that the ricocheting blasts only killed one guy. While the others were either grazed or completely untouched." TL said, shaking his head.

"And, what if one of your guys was in there? He'd be at just as much risk as his enemies." Lunatic asked.

"Well, this IS a melee weapon, so the ricochet is used to help scare and annihilate the large numbers." Eggman answered.

_Team Black Arms defends themselves, but our experts aren't packing it in._

"I've been confident with the Black Arms up until now. That weapon is a useful melee weapon, but the ricochet effect is too random and you have just as much chance of leaving your enemy alive."

"The sniper rifle, that's a REAL nightmare weapon. You don't know where your enemy is and when it's fired, it's a guaranteed kill." Lunatic stated, "Edge: Deepground."

_With the sniper rifle in hand, Deepground gets the edge in long-range weapons._

_

* * *

_

We've run our tests, we've tested these weapons, and now it's time to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior. Deepground, or the Black Arms?

We tested four weapons from Deepground's deadly arsenal: The SOLDIER Blade, DF-42 Assault Rifle, DG-12 Sniper Rifle, and the Shoulder-Mounted Rocket Launcher.

_We also tested four of the Black Arms' weapons: the Black Sword, Flash Shot, Refractor, and the Black Barrel._

_In long-range weapons, the DG-12 out-shot the Refractor._

"The Refractor's accuracy is not enough to match the sniper. And the ricocheting blasts are too random for it to be the most effective weapon. The sniper rifle, on the other hand, provided accurate kills, so that's where I'm putting my money."

Edge: Deepground

_In explosive weapons, both Black Arms and Deepground hit hard with the Black Barrel and the Shoulder-Mounted Rocket Launcher._

"Both were good, but I give the slight edge to the Barrel. It's gun-shaped, so you can aim it a little better and the all-in-all blast is bigger than that of the rocket launcher."

Edge: Black Arms

_In close-range weapons, both warriors brought out their deadly swords in a clash of steel._

"Deepground's SOLDIER Blade was fast, efficient, and sharp. But the Black Sword gives the Black Arms a reach advantage and it has far more killing power."

Edge: Black Arms

_Finally, pitting their mid-range weapons against each other, the DG-42 went up against the Flash Shot._

"The Flash Shot impressed me, but needs multiple hits to create a lethal wound. The DG-42 has a clear reach advantage, saw plenty of one-shot kills, and fires a bit more accurately. Edge to the DG-42."

Edge: Deepground

_Lunatic loads the battle data into a computer program developed by Slytherine Studios. To prevent the match being won by a lucky shot, Lunatic runs the battle a thousand times._

_It will be a battle of opposites…_

_Deadly Strategy…_

(A team of Deepground Soldiers, from atop a railway, open fire on a WRO squad.)

_Versus Overwhelming Force_

(Black Arm aliens rush a group of GUN soldiers, giving them no time to fire back.)

_Lethality…_

(A Deepground soldier fires a rocket at an oncoming aircraft, grounding the vehicle in one shot.)

_Versus Brutality_

(A Black Arm takes a sword and rams it through a soldier.)

With one stroke of the key, the battle began.

-the fight-

Out in an abandoned city, an aircraft hovered in the air. Upon reaching a certain location, it stopped, then dropped off five soldiers in a silvery body suit, a helmet that concealed their faces, and with a single, blue, eye-like visor.

THIS was the notoriously-known organization: Deepground.

The five Deepground soldiers consisted of a female, a male, a large one with a rocket launcher, a less-armored one with a sword, and a very regal-looking one that was probably the captain.

Above their very heads, the sky seemed to darken, save a blood-red tint in the air. And five aliens dropped, seemingly, from the sky. They had black skin with red patches on their hands, feet, and parts of their heads. And they had giant, yellow eyes that looked like they belonged to an insect of sorts.

THESE were the Black Arms.

Three of these aliens looked normal enough with their gangly build and being taller than an average human. But one was gigantic; easily eight feet tall and packed with heavy muscle. The other was taller, more lightly built, and had yellow, armor-like plates on its shoulders.

The Black Arms sprinted through the city, trashing anything in their way from cars, to lampposts, to hunks of debris.

Deepground, on the other hand, took a different approach. The leader made hand gestures, which if translated, read "Sniper, take to high ground. Swordsman, flank them. We'll draw their fire…"

Two Deepground soldiers nodded, then moved. The one with the sword went off to the left while the male soldier with the rifle took off in the direction opposite the swordsman.

The remaining three advanced into the city with the swordsman waiting around a corner and the sniper atop a building, rifle at the ready.

The Black Arms came to a city square that was littered with trashed cars, fire from leaking gas tanks, and pieces of rubble from wrecked buildings. There, they saw three foreign soldiers emerge from the smoke of the fire and, with a battle roar, they opened fire.

Two Black Arm Soldiers raised their Flash Shots and opened fire. The Deepground Soldiers, however, seemed to have a quicker draw. With their first bursts of fire, they took down a Black Arm Soldier. The Alien shrieked in pain, then fell to the ground, bleeding green blood.

Black Arms: 4  
Deepground: 5

The Black Arms retaliated with fire from Flash Shots, Black Barrels, and Refractors alike. The air almost smelled of burning plasma and an explosion from the Barrel was actually enough to stun the hulking, armored Deepground Soldier.

A stray bolt from the Refractor ricocheted off of a nearby building and struck the female gunner in her side. It had created a blast wound the size of a golfball right in her left side: a kill shot.

Black Arms: 4  
Deepground: 4

The Deepground Swordsman made his way around the corner, saw he was right behind the aliens, then drew his sword and emerged from his hiding place.

There to meet him was one ANGRY Black Arm carrying a jagged, crimson blade. In fact, the Deepground swordsman was so surprised that he barely parried a strike from the black alien's giant blade. He struck, too, but also met a parry from the alien weapon. He sidestepped a downward chop, then swung down as hard as he could.

The Black Arm shrieked in pain as its left hand fell to the ground, leaking blood. But the injury didn't slow it down. In fact, the Black Arm seemed even angrier now. It swung more viciously, then pulled back its sword and ran it clean through the Deepground swordsman.

And the fact that its jagged edges ripped even further coming out did NOT ease the pain. The Deepground operative's weapon fell out of his hand, and then he went limp.

Black Arms: 4  
Deepground: 3

The Deepground soldier with the rocket launcher lumbered out of his hiding place, took quick aim, then fired a rocket at the Black Arms. All took cover, save two: one with the Refractor and the one-armed one with a sword.

And in a burst of fire, both were blown away.

Black Arms: 2  
Deepground: 3

The Black Giant roared, crushed a car amidst the debri, then fired at the Deepground Heavy Trooper. The blast hit him straight-on, knocking him back a full ten feet (which was impressive considering the weight of the armor.

The Deepground Captain took momentary refuge behind a car, then got a good look at his comrade. He wasn't moving a muscle; he was certainly dead now.

Black Arms: 2  
Deepground: 2

The Deepground Captain peeked around his cover, then ducked as the Black Arm with the Flash Shot tried to shoot him. The blasts hit the car and the Deepground Captain could actually feel the red flares of the impact.

The Captain reemerged with his DG-42 and opened fire on the Black Giant. The bullets riddled the hulking behemoth, but didn't really do that much. As the giant fired his Black Barrel, he quickly dove away for more cover and tried a different tactic.

He wheeled the corner of his cover, then fired all his rounds at the Black Giant's head. When the bullets hit THIS TIME, they penetrated all the way through. The Giant dropped his weapon, then came crashing down to the ground.

Black Arms: 1  
Deepground: 2

The Deepground Captain rolled behind the carcass of the Giant, using its thick hide as cover from the last Black Arm's Flash Shot. He would occasionally try to fire on the alien, but considering the speed of the alien's draw and rate of fire, he didn't have much time to aim. He suddenly had the alien right in his sights and pulled the trigger…

Click.

He had used all his ammunition to try and take down the Black Giant. But when the Black Arm tried firing, he too was out of ammo.

The Deepground Captain took cover to try and put in a fresh clip, when suddenly, a three-fingered hand seized him by the head and twisted sharply.

Black Arms: 1  
Deepground: 1

The Black Arm growled, then roared in victory.

BANG!

The Alien fell to the concrete floor, dead as a doornail. Too concentrated on the enemies they were currently facing, they failed to notice a lone Deepground Soldier atop the roof of a building with a sniper rifle.

Counting the dead aliens, the Deepground Sniper confirmed they were all dead.

He raised his rifle over his head and shouted, "HAIL WEISS!"

-end-

Winner: Deepground

"Over the course of a thousand battles, Deepground emerged victorious fifty-five point seven percent of the time." Lunatic explained, "This was due largely to the fact that they were trained to think as well as to fight. The Black Arms' animalistic way of thinking and their non-strategic fighting ultimately became their downfall."

Deepground Kills…  
DG-42: 312  
DG-12: 132  
Rocket Launcher: 98  
SOLDIER Blade: 13  
All-in-all kills: 557

Black Arm Kills…  
Flash Shot: 200  
Refractor: 92  
Black Barrel: 109  
Black Sword: 42  
All-in-all Kills: 443

"Superior tactics, superior skills." TL explained, "It was the worst of the worst. The worst man won."

Shadow huffed. "Deepground got lucky that they didn't face a full-on assault."

"I had no doubts." Shelke said, shaking her head, "The Black Arms are good, but Deepground deserves the title of 'Deadliest Warrior'."

(Deepground Soldiers raise their rifles into the air, shouting, "HAIL WEISS!")

_With apologies to Sonic fans everywhere._

_Next Time:_

_Rebels of nature collide in a black powder showdown._

_Eboshi Iron Warriors: the masters of gunpowder who challenged a sacred forest for immortality._

_VS._

_The East India Trading Company: the English company who sought control of the seas for their attempt to purge evil._

_Stay tuned…_


	16. Eboshi vs EIC

**Eboshi Iron Warriors**

(A man in black robes and a Japanese cloak takes careful aim with a pole gun.)

Wielders of iron who challenged the spirits of nature and fought against mighty samurai warriors.

(A squad of Iron Warriors point their pole cannons at oncoming samurai, then fire, downing several of them.)

**The East India Trading Company**

(A man in an Old English uniform holds up a musket, ready to fire.)

The notorious business bent on ruling the world and eliminating all under the pirate flag.

(A band of Company Soldiers is met with pirates, fighting with sabers, muskets, and bayonets.)

_WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?_

_To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe-to-toe._

_No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is…_

_**The Deadliest Warrior**_

The fight club was filled, today, with weapons that were both worlds and centuries apart. Some were bladed, others were black-powder firearms, and some were even spherical bombs.

_Welcome to the Fight Club of Los Angeles, California. Here, a team of doctors, scientists, and combat experts try to decide the outcome of the battle of two warriors who dared stand against the forces of nature…_

_Eboshi Iron Warriors: the weapon-designers who stood against Samurai and sought destruction of a sacred wood for progress._

_VS._

_The East India Trading Company: the cold corporation who dreamed of wiping out all under the pirate flag…by taking over the high seas._

**Eboshi Warrior:  
****Size: 5'9"  
****Weight: 165lbs  
****Gear: 21lbs  
****Leader: Lady Eboshi**

**EIC Soldier:  
****Size: 5'8"  
****Weight: 151lbs  
****Gear: 17lbs  
****Leader: Lord Beckett**

A white hedgehog took a quick inspection of a hi-speed camera to see if it got any readings. It was working like a charm…

_**TLSoulDude**__ is an engineer and a media man, who will gather the data these two warriors' weapons put out._

"This is an interesting matchup because, both the EIC and Eboshi Warriors are masters of black-powder firearms." TL said, excitedly, "They've only got one shot on them, so they had better make these shots count."

A man with a black beret and a military getup inspected a dummy with a hole blown in it.

_Former member of SOLDIER, __**Sgt. Reynol**__ knows whether wounds will be fatal or not._

"For this matchup, we'll be testing things like swords, pistols, and cannons. These weapons are lethal anywhere they hit, so it's a unique matchup indeed."

A red-haired ninja looked things over, then typed something into a computer.

_**Lunatic the 121**__**st**__is a computer expert, who will gather test data and download it into a combat simulation to ultimately decide the victor._

"These two warriors are separated by about four-hundred years and the Old World itself. That means the match we see in this computer is very, VERY unique." Lunatic informed.

_To prevent a lucky musket ball from snatching victory, Lunatic sets things up for a five-on-five battle. Five Eboshi Iron Warriors vs. Five EIC Soldiers to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior._

_Rooting for the iron business of Japan, two experts put their money on Eboshi's Iron-Hard warriors._

A young man with brown hair and a blue overcoat wielded a naginata with expert skill.

_Responsible for the rebuilding of Iron Town and former prince from the East, __**Ashitaka**__, will wield the close-quarter weapons that Eboshi warriors specialized in._

"The Eboshi warriors are as hard as the iron they forge." Ashitaka said, propping his katana up, "They have taken on trained warriors on multiple occasions. This EIC has only dealt with sloppy, untrained pirates."

A bulky, bald man took a strange pole weapon in hand. He was clad in dark-blue robes and was much taller than Ashitaka.

_Captain of the Guards of Eboshi's Iron Town, __**Gonza**__, will prove the firing power of an Iron Warrior's firearms._

"Lady Eboshi would stop at nothing for the sake of progress." Gonza said, arms folded across his chest, "She's killed samurai, beasts, and even decapitated a forest spirit to defend her people and her business."

_In a small settlement called Iron Town, the people made a living by forging iron from the ore in the lakeside's sand. When the plan was thwarted by giant boars, Eboshi came in with new weapons, then drove the animals away._

"These people were helpless against anyone." Gonza explained, "But when Lady Eboshi came into the picture, we could hold out against just about anyone."

_Eboshi had two great enemies: the forest spirits that she angered by encroaching on their territory in search of ore, and the samurai who wanted her weapons for themselves._

"Everyone was after Eboshi because her weapons worked." Ashitaka said, sternly, "And what will happen to this company is going to be what happened to anyone else who stood in her way."

_Eboshi was truly a success in medieval Japan. But four-hundred years in the future and all the way in Europe, the East India Trading Company was in full-force._

A woman with long, blonde hair and the getup of a pirate captain took a saber before taking a few practice swings.

_The Pirate King and Lord of the Singaporean Pirates, __**Elizabeth Swann**__, has crossed paths with the East India Trading Company._

"The EIC is not your average business." Elizabeth put out, "They were trained soldiers, trained sailors, and completely merciless in their job of taking out pirates."

A man in pirate getup and a large scar on his chest took up a musket before putting a long, sharp blade on the tip of the barrel.

_The new captain of the Flying Dutchman, __**William Turner**__, has fought for the EIC and against it in his battle to free his father._

"The Company has a clear advantage over these metalworkers." Will said with a grin, "About four-hundred years of advancements to be precise."

_The East India Trading Company was an English New World shipping company designed to send English goods to Atlantic Islands. But when commandeered by the recently-promoted Lord Cutler Beckett, they turned strictly to eliminating pirates._

"It was absolutely horrifying." Elizabeth said, grimly, "If you were related to a pirate, you would hang. If you were married to a pirate, you would hang. If you even shook hands with a pirate, you would hang."

_Obtaining the legendary Heart of Davy Jones allowed the company to solidify their hold on those bearing the pirate flag._

"The company, once they had gained control of the sea, were nigh unstoppable." Will explained, "If one is armed with the sea, then it takes the sea itself to take him down. And that's how it happened."

_The East India Trading Company would take down their foes with an iconic eighteenth-century navy weapon._

_The Flintlock Musket: the black powder world's most accurate long-range weapon._

Flintlock Musket:  
Size: 5ft  
Weight: 5lbs  
Range: 150ft

Out at the firing range, Elizabeth presented a long-barrel gun with a flintlock mechanism near its trigger.

"Ah, the iconic musket." Ray said, excitedly.

"And this is a very effective and easy-to-use weapon." Elizabeth explained, "It takes years for a warrior to become a good archer. But it only takes a few days for a warrior to use a musket effectively."

Lunatic took the musket, then raised it up into a firing position. "Wow. I feel like I could hit anything with this weapon. And this is flintlock?"

"Yes." Elizabeth answered, "You pull the trigger, create a spark, and send the musketball flying forward."

"Well, Miss Pirate King, we have a challenge for you." TL explained, pointing to a gel torso in the distance, "We want you to fire three rounds at that gel torso, then we'll see what damage you've done to him."

After getting a good distance, Elizabeth propped up the musket and aimed right at the torso.

"Okay, you ready?"

"Aye!"

"THREE! TWO! ONE! FIRE!"

Elizabeth pulled the trigger, springing the flintlock mechanism into action. The result was that a musket ball, which was usually denser and heavier than an average gun bullet, hit the torso full in the chest, shattering ribs.

_The musket ball hits its target dead-on, but it takes Elizabeth a full thirty seconds to reload._

Indeed, it was a lengthy process. First, Elizabeth had to pour in more gunpowder. Then she had to put the next bullet in. And finally, she had to push it down the full length of the barrel as far as it could go.

But it was well worth the wait because she had fired the next round accurately, pelting the torso right in the neck.

After another thirty-second reload, Elizabeth fired one final round, hitting the dummy in the shoulder.

_The Musket packs serious damage, but were the shots enough to bring down an Eboshi warrior?_

"Okay, here's the first wound. It's shattered ribs, pierced a lung, and pierced the heart all in one fell shot." Ray explained, "That's a kill. The second hit him in the throat; interesting location. It pierces the windpipe and, ah, it shattered the spine. He's dead and paralyzed."

"And this final wound here at the shoulder means he's on the ground. It pierced a vital blood vessel, which means he can't use that arm and he's slowly bleeding to death." Ray finished.

"Was that good enough?" Elizabeth asked.

"So, you have a fancy gun. It can't hold a candle to the firepower of Eboshi warriors." Gonza defended, "And do you really think they'll just let you shoot at 'em?"

"And what exactly do you have to counter the musket?" Lunatic asked, "The accuracy of that weapon is gonna be a tough act to follow."

"Well, with this thing for sure." Gonza answered, holding up a small cannon mounted on a long pole, "The Bombard."

_The Bombard: a ground-mounted, portable pole cannon that launched devastating, heavy balls of iron._

Bombard:  
Size: 5ft  
Weight: 6lbs  
Range: 77ft

"This is an Eboshi bombard." Ashitaka said, holding out a pole cannon, "It requires heat to activate, so people would take a smoldering match with them at all times." He then took out an iron ball the size of the palm of a human hand. "THIS is what it fires."

"Wow…" TL said, feeling the weight of the round, "This is the biggest round I've ever seen on this show…"

_The pole design of a Bombard is an effective one. The wielder aims the barrel, but plants the end of the pole in the ground. Therefore, the ground takes the kick of the blast rather than the wielder._

"And this is strictly a long-range weapon?" Lunatic asked.

"Close-quarter, too." Gonza answered, "The cannon is very heavy and the pole end is tipped with an iron boss."

_Team Eboshi talks the talk, but can they walk the walk? A ballistics gel torso placed at a distance._

"So, here's the deal, Gonza. You get three shots with the bombard. Misses count as a shot, though." TL explained.

"Bring it on." Gonza challenged, then pointed the bombard's barrel at the torso.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

"Three! Two! One! FIRE!"

Gonza took a smoldering match, then inserted it in a small hole in the cannon. The black powder sparked and with a 'bang', it sent the heavy ball of iron flying forward. But the sheer weight of the ball caused it to fall short of the target.

Gonza quickly loaded more powder into the cannon, loaded another iron ball in it, then aimed again, albeit a little higher.

When the cannon went off this time, it hit the target right in the chest, creating a giant, bleeding hole in its chest cavity. Grunting in satisfaction, Gonza loaded another round into the cannon and aimed again.

BANG!

The round flew right past the dummy, grazing its face. THIS caused the EIC experts to shake their heads, unimpressed with the act.

"Wow." Lunatic said as they went in to inspect the damage, "THIS is the biggest bullet wound I have ever seen outside of a shotgun."

"Yeah, that one hit alone broke through the ribcage. And he doesn't seem to have ANYTHING where his heart should be." Ray said, feeling around the hole, "The organs are probably scattered out there somewhere."

"This is actually a lightweight artillery." Ashitaka pointed out, "This was made to take out enemy barriers."

"But look at how many of your shots missed." Will pointed out, "If you cannot hit your enemy with that many shots, you won't last long in a battle."

"Well, one hit with this was all I needed, right?" Gonza asked, "One hit anywhere from this weapon and you have a person down."

"And one chance in three you hit someone?" Elizabeth asked.

_Both Eboshi and EIC have unleashed their long-range assaults. But our experts cannot deny which weapon gets the edge._

"The Bombard is a devastating weapon, but the reliability of that weapon is not going to be enough to put up a fight." Lunatic admitted, "It needs to go into an arc for that heavy round to be reliable. The musket hit from a further distance with greater accuracy and we saw kills from it. For that reason, I give the edge to the flintlock musket."

_The edge in long-range weapons goes to the East India Company._

_

* * *

_

Eboshi Iron Workers versus East India Company: in a no-holds-barred match, who would win? Who would lie dead on the ground?

"If you're talking about 'Deadliest Warrior', then there's no real comparison." Will explained, "The Company will take them down."

"Eboshi's warriors, even against powerful and military-trained Samurai could fight even when backed into a tight corner." Ashitaka countered, "It was an intelligent organization led by an intelligent woman."

_We've tested their two signature arms and, so far, the EIC has an advantage. But in terms of arms, rifles and cannons aren't all these two warriors pack._

"Iron Warriors love things that go 'boom'." Gonza said, pulling up a more rifle-like gun and hefting it on his shoulder.

_The Matchlock Shoulder Rifle: Eboshi's most recent and deadly-effective gun made so that female warriors could wield them._

Matchlock Shoulder Rifle:  
Size: 3ft  
Weight: 4lbs  
Range: 120ft

"This is Lady Eboshi's pride and joy." Gonza said, showing off the rifle, "When you pull the trigger, it launches a smoldering match into the powder cartridge and fires out a musket ball similar to the one used by the Bombard."

_But the EIC claims to have a more concealed weapon and one better suited for close-quarter combat._

_The Flintlock Pistol: the forerunner of all modern guns._

Flintlock Pistol:  
Size: 9in  
Weight: 2lbs  
Range: 50ft

"The flintlock pistol works like any flintlock weapon." Elizabeth explained, "When you pull the trigger, the flint strikes a piece of metal and creates a spark that sets off the black powder inside."

_As effective as the pistol is, there is one fatal flaw._

"The downside to this pistol is that you get one shot." Elizabeth said, "After that, you either have to load more powder and another round or you turn it around and use it as a bludgeoning weapon."

_To test the effectiveness of the shoulder rifle and flintlock pistol, our team heads to a shooting gallery to gauge the range and firepower of pistol and rifle._

First up, Team EIC with the pistol

"Alright, Will, you have up to three shots with that pistol. Be sure to call your shots so we can test your accuracy, okay?" TL informed.

"Understood."

Will poured in a set of black powder, loaded a musketball, then pushed it in as far as it would go. This process took about twenty seconds before he returned and aimed his pistol at his target: a foam torso.

"Ready, Will?"

"Yes. I'll be aiming for his head this shot."

"Three…two…one…Go."

"Fire in the hole…" Will said, then fired.

With a bang and a flash of smoke, a small hole appeared in the torso's jawline. Will nodded, then took another twenty seconds to reload his pistol. He aimed again, this time saying he'd hit the neck. But when he fired, it hit at the collarbone. After another reload, he called his ribcage, but again, the pistol went under the ribs and hit the dummy's gut.

"Not bad." Lunatic said, looking the holes over, "But I don't like how your shots went under where you said you'd put them. And at a longer range, that would happen even more often."

"Well, EIC soldiers will carry up to three pistols." Elizabeth explained, "So, he's got three chances to wait for someone to come closer and then shoot them."

"And how would an Eboshi warrior feel after getting shot like this?" Will asked.

"Oh, he's done." TL answered, "A headshot is a headshot. The gut wound, he probably could survive, but he's still down on the ground."

_Now Team Eboshi will use the matchlock shoulder rifle to show that they can deliver the hit as well._

Gonza held up the rifle, then pointed out, "The first advantage I have with this weapon is that I don't have to waste twenty seconds loading another shot. I just take out the old powder cartridge, load it in, then load another ball."

"It's a speed advantage, but can you deliver an accurate kill?" Lunatic asked, "It's one thing to be ready, but you need to be sharp on the eyes, too."

"Challenge accepted." Gonza said with a nod.

_To put Gonza to a better test, our team puts the target at double the distance than the flintlock pistol's target._

Gonza mounted the rifle on his shoulder, then took aim at the torso. Feeling lucky, he challenged, "I'll hit that punk right in the chest."

"Three…two…one…GO."

"Fire in the hole!" Gonza said, then pulled a trigger atop the rifle. The smoldering match struck the powder in the gun, then launched the musket ball forward.

It struck right on the torso's left side, creating a devastatingly-large wound.

Gonza took out the old powder cartridge, loaded in a new one, then inserted another musket ball.

_The shoulder rifle proves its marksmanship, but it also takes half the time of the flintlock pistol to reload._

Gonza mounted his rifle again, then challenged that he'd blow its head off. And, indeed, he did. With just a pull of the trigger, the musket ball flew forward and put a palm-sized hole in the dummy's head.

One quick reload and fire later, and the rifle created another palm-sized wound in the dummy's midsection.

"Wow. Unbelievable damage here." Ray said, fingers tracing over the edge of each wound, "This was twice the range of the flintlock pistol and you still managed to deal a devastating wound to your enemy."

"So, with just three shots, he blew the guys head off, took out ribs, heart, and lung, and put a bit of his own guts on the floor." Lunatic said, amazed, "If this hit an arm or a leg, then it's gone. It'll be smashed clean off."

"Trust me. Samurai fought soldiers armed with this weapon and almost all of them lost their limbs." Ashitaka warned.

Gonza held up the flintlock pistol. "You can get shot three times with this gun and make it." Gonza put it away, then held up the rifle, "You get shot once with this, and you're a dead man."

"Flintlock vs. Shoulder Rifle? The Flintlock is a light, easily-used weapon." Ray explained, "But it takes too long to reload and won't always go where you want it. The Shoulder Rifle, however, has accuracy and stopping power to it. Edge: Eboshi."

_The Matchlock Shoulder Rifle gives Eboshi the edge in mid-range weapons._

_

* * *

_

Eboshi Warriors vs. EIC Soldiers: if both engaged in battle, who would win? We've tested both teams' firearms at long- and mid-range combat.

_But if guns aren't enough, both teams can resort to bombs._

"This'll give these English men a surprise." Ashitaka said, holding up a spherical object.

_Eboshi's Ceramic Grenades: built with black powder and noxious chemicals, it was used to drive off unfriendly animals or invading soldiers._

Ceramic Grenades:  
Size: 5in  
Weight: 1lb  
Substance: Gunpowder, ceramic, chemical

"Eboshi Warriors would use these grenades when under attack by multiple people or animals." Ashitaka said, "The Eboshi warriors would just throw them behind enemy lines or let it hit them in their faces. The chemicals inside would also cause burning to their eyes, mouth, nose, and lungs."

_At a nearby firing range, a test is prepared to show how much power these small grenades can cause._

In said firing range, three dummies were standing at varying distances from a single ceramic grenade suspended in the air.

"I've rigged each dummy with pressure sensors. That way we'll be able to tell if we've damaged the brain, popped the eardrums, or damaged the lungs." TL explained, gesturing to the damage.

"Three…two…one…GO!"

BANG!

The Ceramic Grenade went off in a blast of fire and greenish gas. Not wanting anything to happen, Ray and the Eboshi experts went in with face masks and goggles.

"It's interesting. Right here, we have a guy with a completely-crushed lung." Ray said, gesturing to part of the dummy's left side, which had collapsed, "But these two…they seem completely unscathed. And with the gas, I think they'll be in agony as well as deaf or confused."

_The Ceramic Grenades may not be intended for lethality, but the blast from one lacerates the closest victim._

"This guy's confused." Ray said, pointing to the furthest dummy. "THIS guy's disoriented and has a faceful of chemicals." He pointed to the second-furthest. "And this guy is DEAD." He said, pointing to the closest one.

_But the East India Company also has a nasty bomb of its own; one they say packs more punch._

_The Grenado: the forerunner of all modern grenades, it claims to deliver more than just a bang and gas._

Grenado:  
Size: 6in  
Weight: 2lbs  
Substance: Iron, Gunpowder, Shot

"The Grenado is something completely different from a ceramic grenade." Will explained, "First off, it won't stun enemies. It will KILL them. And it's not just the shell that will fragment, most would put it to its best and fill it with sharp nails and broken glass."

_Can the grenado outdo the ceramic grenades? Three dummies at varying distance will prove if it can._

Out at the firing range, a grenado was strategically placed between three foam torsos.

"Three…two…one…GO!"

BOOM!

The Grenado's blast easily outdid that of the Ceramic Grenades because each dummy moved backward, as though hit by something.

_Team EIC has proven their points._

The dummy trio was completely shredded. The shrapnel that the grenado unleashed was completely devastating, putting holes in the dummies and dying them with fake blood.

"WHOO!" Lunatic whooped, "I mean, WOW. Look at this MASSIVE damage here. The shrapnel is…DANG!"

"We've got holes everywhere on these three dummies. One here actually pierced the heart and this one here…" Ray pointed to one whose gut looked like a dot-to-dot page, "The peppering here is actually piercing SEVERAL vital organs and will cause MASSIVE bleeding."

"The Ceramic Grenades made a good 'bang', but this thing makes it look like a harmless firecracker." TL said, "Ceramic Grenade killed one guy while this thing killed THREE. Edge: Grenado. Agreed?"

"Yessir."

_With the Grenado in hand, the EIC gets the edge in explosive weapons._

_

* * *

_

So far, the East India Company has the Eboshi Iron Warriors on the run in terms of firearms and explosives. But what about when it's time for the two to take off the gloves?

"An Eboshi warrior may have used guns to hold off their enemies. But if a samurai broke through their lines, then that warrior would be faced with Iron Warriors armed with this: the naginata."

_The Naginata: Japan's legendary polearm with seven feet of pure cutting power._

Naginata:  
Size: 7ft  
Weight: 6lbs  
Substance: Wood shaft, Steel blade

_But the East India Trading Company is also known for playing up close and personal._

"If an EIC soldier is out of shots, most people think it's over." Will said, then smiled, "But they have yet to see the famed battle weapon of guns: the bayonet." To emphasize his point, Will held up a long, pointed blade before putting it on the barrel of a musket.

_The Bayonet: ten inches of pure penetration power that turns a gun into a thrusting spear._

Bayonet:  
Size: 10'  
Weight: Under 1lb  
Substance: Forged Steel

"A Bayonet is simply attached to the end of a soldier's musket." Will said, popping on one himself, "It adds almost a foot to your musket's length and can keep your enemy at a distance, so they can't use their sword."

"But it's one-dimensional." Ashitaka said, shaking his head, "With THIS, I have more mobility and more options. I can use the back and to push you away, then use the blade to either slash you or stab you."

_To settle the debate, our team has assembled two ballistics gel torsos for Ashitaka and Elizabeth to shred._

_First up, Ashitaka with the naginata._

"Ready?"

"Yes." Ashitaka said, taking the naginata in hand.

"Three! Two! One! GO!"

With a war cry, Ashitaka thrust the naginata into the torso's chest, then pulled it out. And with another roar, he swung at the torso's head, taking a piece of the skull clean off the head.

_Now for Elizabeth with the bayonet._

"GO!" TL ordered.

Elizabeth clenched her jaw, then thrust into the torso's gut with the bayonet. The blade actually emerged from the torso's back and, bringing in even more damage, Elizabeth pulled it out and impaled the torso again, this time through the chest cavity.

_With the damage done, our team assesses the killing factors behind these two weapons._

"Ooh, take a look at this." Ray said, inspecting the naginata dummy, "That first stab created a hole in the chest so fine that you can barely see it."

"Wow, you're right." Lunatic said in amazement, seeing Ray insert his fingers into a place that barely looked wounded.

"You can feel the broken ribs right here. But THIS cut actually amazes me; it popped a bit of the skull right off." Ray said, "This is SUCH a clean cut; it's almost like a cross-section of a human head."

"Okay, now for the bayonet wounds." TL said, moving the team over to said dummy.

"These are all puncture wounds, but they ARE pretty well-placed." Ray said, moving the wound with his hands, "This first one was in the gut. That would pierce liver, intestines, and probably pierce the spine-oh, wow. It pierced all the way through."

Ray then moved his attention to a small, bleeding hole in the dummy's back.

"And she did it not once, but twice. This chest wound would pierce the lung and the heart all in one go." He finished.

_Both Bayonet and Naginata are lethal close-range weapons, but which one gives their team the edge?_

"Naginata vs. Bayonet…" TL said, thinking it over, "I'm gonna have to go with the naginata. The bayonet is lethal, but it's a stab-only weapon. The naginata is a good bit longer and can be used as a slashing weapon just as much as a stabbing weapon. Edge to the multifunctional weapon."

_The Naginata gives Eboshi the edge in close-quarter weapons._

_

* * *

_

Our testing is complete, and now it's time to begin the battle between two black powder experts. Eboshi's Iron-Hard Warriors? Or Beckett's ruthless East India Trading Company?

_We tested four EIC weapons: the Flintlock Musket, Flintlock Pistol, Grenado, and Bayonet._

_We also tested four of Eboshi's lethal arms: the Bombard, Matchlock Shoulder Rifle, Ceramic Grenado, and Naginata._

_In explosive assaults, the EIC pitted their Grenado against Eboshi's Ceramic Grenades._

"The Ceramic Grenade can blow eardrums and disorient enemies. But that's setting up for a kill. We saw kills from the Grenado, so that's who will win."

Edge: EIC

_In long-range weapons, we tested the Flintlock Musket and the Bombard._

"The bombard is a nasty weapon, but it's not quite accurate enough for it to be practical. The musket delivers accurate kills at great distance, that's what gets the edge."

Edge: EIC

_In mid-range combat, the Flintlock pistol was blown away by Eboshi's Shoulder Rifle._

"Flintlock Pistols are too unreliable and slow on the reload. The Shoulder Rifle has a slightly faster reload and it can hit from double the distance of the pistol. First kill has lots of promise this time, so the edge goes to the rifle."

Edge: Eboshi

_Finally, in a test of close-quarter weapons, our experts had to choose between the EIC's Bayonet and Eboshi's Naginata._

"The Naginata is far more maneuverable than the bayonet. It offers tons of options, while the Bayonet is one-dimensional and, if you have a shot, it will be thrown off too much. Edge to the Naginata."

Edge: Eboshi

_Lunatic now loads the data into a computer simulation to decide the winner. To prevent a lucky shot from claiming victory, Lunatic runs a five-on-five battle and preps it to go a thousand times._

_It will be a battle of opposites…_

_Iron-Hard Defense…_

(Iron Warriors launch an assault on samurai, then retreat to evade a barrage of arrows.)

_Versus Ruthless Onslaught_

(EIC soldiers aim their rifles, then fire on a group of rebels before advancing their formation.)

_Maximum Firepower…_

(Eboshi warriors ready their bombards, then open fire on a group of giant boars.)

_Versus Efficient Precision_

(EIC soldiers take careful aim at a bridge, then fire their rifles at a crew of pirates crossing it.)

Lunatic pressed the single button and the battle was on…

-the fight-

A rowboat slowly made its way down a lake towards a large, wooden fortress with billowing smoke from several ironworkers. In said boat were five people in British military coats and hats, powdered wigs, and a musket in each one's hands. These were the ruthless workers of the East India Trading Company.

Meanwhile, fixed at the entrance of the town, were five soldiers with black robes and fur cloaks. Each one either had a bombard or a rifle in hand, but a single one had a naginata and stayed in the back. These were Lady Eboshi's iron-hard warriors, ready to defend this town with all they had.

The EIC soldiers made port at the lakeside, then got off their boat and made their way to the town's gateway.

The Iron Warriors spotted the soldiers and the one in the back, most likely the leader, waved towards the two warriors wielding bombards. They readied their arms and at a single arm motion, they fired.

Eboshi: 5  
EIC: 5

The EIC soldiers were about halfway across when the ground just behind them seemed to explode. Heading for the cover of jagged rocks, they just narrowly avoided a second round of fire from the bombards.

The EIC captain, taking priorities into his own hands, saw one of the Eboshi Warriors ready another shot, aimed his musket at him, and fired. The musket ball hit the warrior full in the chest and he collapsed, his chest spilling blood across the floor.

Eboshi: 4  
EIC: 5

As the EIC emerged to launch their attacks, the remaining Iron Warrior with the bombard aimed a little more carefully, then fired again. The heavy, iron ball whistled through the air and hit an EIC in the gut, creating a gaping wound and sending him to the ground with a grunt.

Eboshi: 4  
EIC: 4

The Iron Warriors' victory was momentary, however, because another EIC aimed his own musket and fired, hitting him in the leg and grounding him.

The remaining Iron Warriors fled into the town and the EIC pursued, save one of them. Said EIC soldier put a bayonet on his musket, then ran the Iron Warrior through with his ten-inch blade.

The warrior screamed as loud as he could until he couldn't breathe and fell limp at the EIC soldier's feet.

Eboshi: 3  
EIC: 4

Beckoning his fellow soldiers into the town, the EIC captain led the charge…right into the Eboshi Warriors' territory. One Eboshi soldier emerged with his shoulder rifle and fired on them. The heavy musket ball hit an EIC soldier right in the face, killing him before he even realized that they were under attack.

Eboshi: 3  
EIC: 3

Another EIC soldier heard the rifle go off, then whirled around, took out a flintlock pistol, and promptly shot the Iron Warrior in the face.

Eboshi: 2  
EIC: 3

One EIC soldier saw an Iron Warrior duck into a house and gave immediate chase, a flintlock pistol at the ready. He entered the house, but was surprised to see no one there. When he looked around, however, he saw a side door was open.

And a small bomb was just in front of him.

BANG!

The EIC soldier shrieked in pain as blood trickled from his ears and a burning chemical seeped into his eyes, nose, and mouth. He had just opened his eyes to try and see what happened when a piercing pain ran through his gut.

The Iron Warrior had gutted him with his naginata, using his ceramic grenade as cover.

Eboshi: 2  
EIC: 2

The EIC Captain and his remaining soldier made their way through the town, guns at the ready. With a battle cry, an Eboshi Warrior emerged and fired his shoulder rifle, narrowly missing them. The EIC returned fire only to miss by a mile and causing the Eboshi warrior to retreat into an alleyway.

The EIC slowly and silently approached, then the Captain took out a grenado and, with a smolder, lit the fuse for it. The Eboshi warrior was currently busy searching himself for another cartridge to use in his rifle.

He had just found one and was about to pop it into his rifle when something gently hit his feet. He looked down…

BOOM!

The EIC soldiers emerged from their hiding place to check things out, and were satisfied to see the Eboshi warrior's bloodied corpse.

Eboshi: 1  
EIC: 2

The two remaining EIC soldiers continued through the town until the Captain's second-in-command screamed in pain. When the captain turned around, he saw an Eboshi Iron warrior with his naginata embedded in the EIC soldier's back.

He pulled it out, then pointed it at the EIC captain like an accusing finger.

Eboshi: 1  
EIC: 1

The EIC Captain took a bayonet, then locked it onto his musket's tip, pointing it at the Eboshi warrior himself.

Both circled each other, as though daring the other to make a move. Then the Eboshi warrior did just that. He swung down with his naginata only to meet the musket in a parry. The EIC maneuvered the naginata to the ground, then thrust with his bayonet only to watch the Eboshi warrior sidestep it.

Both stood back where they started, at a standstill. But now, the EIC made his move and thrust only for the EIC to sidestep the attack. He gave a thrust himself and barely grazed the captain's arm, dying his coat with blood.

The EIC swung with his bayonet and, as expected, the Eboshi blocked it. The EIC then moved forward and slammed the butt of his musket into the Eboshi warrior's gut. The warrior stumbled back, then so narrowly evaded a thrust from the bayonet that he felt it take a few hairs off his cloak.

The Eboshi thrust with his naginata again, grazing the EIC on his arm again. This time, the EIC turned around, making his injury seem more serious than it really was.

In actuality, it was a trap. And the Eboshi warrior fell right into it.

The Eboshi Warrior charged in for the kill, but was within distance of striking when the captain pulled out a pistol, pulled back the mechanism, then pulled the trigger.

BANG!

The Eboshi Warrior froze, then looked down at a bleeding wound in his side. He dropped his weapon, then fell to the ground, barely alive.

The EIC Captain towered over his defeated enemy, then pulled back his bayonet and ran the Eboshi Iron Warrior through.

It seemed even Iron had its limits.

The EIC removed his blood-stained bayonet, then thrust his gun into the air. "HUZZAH! HUZZAH!"

-end-

Winner: East India Trading Company

"I ran the battle a thousand times, and the EIC emerged victorious with five-hundred and forty-three kills to the Eboshi Warriors' four-hundred and fifty-seven." Lunatic explained, "This was due largely to the reliability of the musket and the accuracy, which was beyond even the shoulder rifle."

EIC Kills…  
Flintlock Musket: 230  
Flintlock Pistol: 102  
Grenado: 190  
Bayonet: 21  
All-in-all kills: 543

Eboshi Kills…  
Bombard: 120  
Shoulder Rifle: 220  
Ceramic Grenade: 45  
Naginata: 72  
All-in-all kills: 457

"The unreliability of the Bombard and the ineffective killing factor of the ceramic grenade proved to be the Eboshi Warriors downfall." Lunatic finished.

"I admit I probably should have given the musket a little more credit, but hey. It worked." TL congratulated.

"It seems Eboshi still has a lot to learn about the use of black powder weapons." Ashitaka admitted, humbly.

"The Eboshi warriors are tough." Elizabeth admitted, "But I think they should hole up in a city and hold their own from there. They're very good at that."

(The EIC Captain raised his gun into the air and shouted, "HUZZAH!")

_With apologies to Princess Mononoke fans…like myself._

_Next Time…_

_Two masters of unearthly arboreal combat clash weapons._

_The Wookiee: the galaxy's fearsome fighter straight from Kashyyk._

_Versus…_

_The Na'vi: the lithe, catlike warrior of the jungle moon of Pandora._

_Stay tuned…_


	17. Wookiee vs Na'vi

**A Wookiee**

(A seven-foot creature with shaggy, brown fur snarled as it pointed a crossbow-shaped weapon.)

Inventive, yet powerful creatures that held their own during both the Clone Wars and the Galactic Civil War.

(A horde of wookiees roar as they fight their way through a battalion of Stormtroopers.)

**A Na'vi**

(A tall, blue-skinned, catlike creature hissed as he took a few swipes with a war axe of sorts.)

The natives of Pandora that drove out high-tech invaders, armed only with wood, stone, and bone.

(A Na'vi leaps aboard an aircraft, then begins nailing corporation soldiers with a spear.)

_WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?_

_To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe-to-toe._

_No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is…_

_**The Deadliest Warrior**_

Far away, two teams were practicing with weapons that were universes apart: bladed weapons, projectile weapons, and close-quarter short blades.

_In our fight club, we have actually moved to a distant moon. Here, we have assembled a team of doctors, scientists, and warriors of two different worlds._

_A Wookiee: the fearsome, intelligent, and powerful warriors of Kashyyyk who learn fast and fight hard._

_VS._

_A Na'vi: the jungle warriors of Pandora who drove off a military force while their arsenal consisted of only bows and arrows._

Wookiee:  
Height: 7'5"  
Weight: 350lbs  
Gear: 24lbs  
Homeworld: Kashyyyk

Na'vi:  
Height: 10'  
Weight: 300lbs  
Gear: 14lbs  
Homeworld: Pandora

A white hedgehog felt how strong a bowstring was, then smirked when he couldn't pull it back.

_**TLSoulDude**__ is a biomedical engineer and will be gathering the data that both these treetop warriors will dish out._

"These two aliens are universes apart. That means that this match will be about as unique as one can be." TL pointed out.

A man with a black beret and military uniform looked at a heavily-mutilated gel torso.

_Former SOLDIER operative and biologist, __**Sgt. Reynol**__, will determine whether these two warriors' blows are lethal._

"These are inhuman forces, but are of different types and mindsets: one has a slight technological advantage while the other has a strategic approach with primitive, but effective weapons."

A young ninja typed something into a laptop: some form of data that would link to a computer program back home.

_**Lunatic 121**__ is a computer master who will gather test data and input it in a special program made to replicate fight scenes._

"For this testing to work, we've had to head not just off-site. We've had to head off-planet to get appropriate foliage and atmosphere for Wookiee and Na'vi."

_To prevent a lucky blow from snatching defeat, Lunatic will run the battle a thousand times. In the end, Wookiee will battle Na'vi. The winner will be the Deadliest Warrior._

_Supporting the natives of Kashyyyk are two experts in Wookiee history and combat._

A man with a white shirt, black cargo jacket, and brown hair took a good look at a Wookiee weapon and smirked.

_Former Corellian smuggler, __**Han Solo**__, has worked with a wookiee who happens to be a fellow expert._

A large, furry Wookiee looked over a crossbow-shaped blaster weapon. Things were workin' good.

_**Chewbacca**__ has lived through countless wars and knows the ways and weapons of his people well._

"This blue-skinned kitty cat stands no chance against a Wookiee." Han Solo talked up, "They're not just skilled in arboreal combat, they have razor-sharp weapons and bring a modern blaster into the fray."

Chewbacca could only nod and grunt in agreement.

_Native to the planet Kashyyyk in the Mid Rim, Wookiees were caught in the crossfire of both the Clone Wars and the Galactic Civil War. But across the galaxy, they were known as fierce, strong, and inventive beings._

"Wookiees HAD to be swift on the uptake." Han explained, "They have all these hired goons coming in to destroy their homes, so they've had to live through tough times."

_The Galactic Empire put Kashyyyk under their control, but the Wookiees would NOT let the Empire take their planet without a fight. And after the Battle of Endor, they were given their freedom._

_But what about those of Pandora? Two experts put their money on the fierce and tribal Na'vi._

Two very tall, blue, catlike people were inspecting the native weapons of Pandora. One was male, the other being female.

_A former 'dream-walker' and soldier, __**Jake Sulley**__, and a princess of a prominent tribe of Pandora, __**Neytiri **__have placed their bets on the people of Pandora__**.**_

"Can this…thing stop a Na'vi?" Jake asked, "No. They don't have the instincts, the precision, or the determination to win."

_On the jungle moon of Pandora, the Na'vi lived in peaceful solitude. Not being of a technological race, they would refuse almost any offers made by technology-dependent human beings. Due to a misunderstanding between the two, it ultimately led to a war between the two species._

"We don't like technology, so we ultimately saw humans as blasphemous." Neytiri explained, "But the humans thought we were just being uncooperative and saw us as being stubborn savages."

_In one final stand, the Na'vi gathered all tribes and united to drive the humans off their world. And more often than not, they were armed with their iconic weapon…_

_The Bow and Arrow: made from simplistic elements, it was a Na'vi's best weapon in any battle or hunt._

Bow and Arrow:  
Size: 6ft  
Weight: 7lbs  
Range: 90ft  
Substance: Wood, Vine string, Stone arrowhead

Out on an off-planet jungle, Jake Sulley held out a bow that was almost as tall as Reynol was.

"This is our bow." Jake said, then held out an arrow, "THIS is what it fires."

"Dang." Ray said, taking the arrow, "This is like a javelin that you fire."

"I guarantee you, this will go through whatever it hits." Jake warned.

"Well, we've got a few tests to put that weapon through." TL said, then led the way up a massive tree. On various areas of the tree, there were human dummies, each with a gun slung over their shoulders. "Here, you have five dummies, representing invaders. I want you to take them all out on this obstacle course. Can a Na'vi handle that?"

"We sure can." Neytiri answered with a nod, then took a bow.

_Can a Na'vi fire a bow and arrow whilst on the move? Neytiri is armed with ten arrows and has five dummies to take out on a descent._

"Okay, ready, Neytiri?" TL called.

"Yes."

"Three! Two! One! GO!"

Neytiri sprinted down the length of one massive branch, then stopped halfway down its length. She had spotted a dummy, and she quickly strung an arrow. What was amazing was the speed in which she had her weapon ready.

One move of her fingers later, Neytiri fired an arrow at the dummy. And considering the size, weight, and momentum of a projectile of its size, it impaled the dummy through the midsection. As if the dummy wasn't dead enough, Neytiri strung another arrow and fired, this time hitting the dummy in the throat.

Neytiri clambered down to the tree's trunk, then found her way into a hollowed-out section. Stringing two arrows at the same time, she nailed another dummy, both in the chest.

Neytiri moved past the dummy, then fired another arrow at the third dummy. She kept her wits about her, for she turned to look towards a distant root and fired another arrow at a dummy in hiding.

Reaching the bottom of the tree, she strung her arrow and fired, hitting its hip area. She strung another one, fired, and hit it in the right shoulder. And for one final blow, she landed her next arrow in the dummy's head.

_Neytiri finishes the course with one arrow left, so Ray goes in to examine the damage done by the Na'vi bow._

"I had no doubts on the damage done here." Ray said, looking at the final dummy with three arrows in it. "This arrow in the shoulder went all the way through, same with the one in its hip. These would pierce several important muscles, prohibiting movement and maneuverability."

"So, anyplace this arrow hits would be either a deathblow or a crippling blow?" Jake asked.

"Absolutely." Ray said with a nod, "If it hit in the abdomen, it's gonna be an organ shish-kebob."

_Team Na'vi is proud of their achievement, but Team Wookiee isn't packing it in._

"Bows and arrows? Really?" Han asked, "You've been living in the Stone Age a little too long, Na'vi. The galaxy around you has developed weapons light-years ahead of you. Chewie here is gonna show you the future with the all-too-famous Bowcaster."

_The Bowcaster: A wookiee's favorite arm, firing rounds that slug the enemy and burn through their bodies._

Bowcaster:  
Size: 3ft  
Weight: 6lbs  
Rounds: 24  
Range: 100ft

"A Bowcaster is a weapon native only to wookiee technology." Han explained, Chewbacca showing off the weapon, "The way it works is that these little things here…" He gestured to the orbs on the crossbow-like structures on the weapon. "Charge and focus energy onto metal rounds."

"So, it pulverizes your enemy AND burns them?" Lunatic asked, earning a nod and an affirming growl from Chewie.

"Trust me. Two shots from this thing can leave a body unidentifiable." Han boasted.

_Because a human doesn't have the strength or build to wield Wookiee weapons, Chewbacca takes things into his own hands._

Atop the same tree, and with taller, Na'vi-shaped dummies, Chewbacca took a bowcaster in hand and loaded a fresh clip.

_Chewbacca is given twenty-four rounds and five Na'vi targets placed at various points of the tree._

"Okay, Chewie, you ready?" TL asked.

Chewbacca emitted an adrenaline-filled confirmation, nodding in the process.

"Three! Two! One! GO!"

Chewbacca made his way to the base of the first branch, then aimed at the Na'vi that was waiting for him just below, and fired a burst of green energy from his weapon. The metal/plasma bolt hit the dummy full in the chest and actually knocked the dummy clean off its support.

Chewie made his way down, reaching the second dummy quick, before downing it with a shot to the head. Just a few paces ahead of the downed dummy, Chewie aimed his bowcaster and nailed a third that would have been waiting for him.

Looking out of the tunnel in the tree, Chewie pointed his bowcaster outside it, fired, and landed a direct blow right in the dummy's ribcage.

Chewbacca agilely made his way down the root, then aimed his bowcaster at the last dummy and with one blast, blew its head off.

_Chewbacca clears the course like a natural Wookiee warrior, and with nineteen rounds left for fire._

"Wow." Ray said, looking over one of the dummies, "The bowcaster, put simply, destroyed whatever it hit. No Na'vi will be able to survive a wound THIS big."

Indeed, the wound was huge: about the size of a tennis ball. Ray was able to put his hand into the hole that the bowcaster had made.

"This would disintegrate portions of vital organs AND leave a huge projectile in an enemy's systems." Ray explained, "This will mean a swift, rapid death."

"Swift, rapid death." Han called to Jake and Neytiri, "Keep that in mind."

_The bowcaster impressed our experts, but Team Na'vi just isn't buying it._

"So what if you have a gun?" Jake asked, "The Na'vi have driven out invaders that had guns before. And they'll do it again if need be."

"You mean those bullet-firing ones?" Han asked, "That was then, THIS is now."

"Okay, to settle this, ask them who has the advantage?" Neytiri said, gesturing to the experts.

"Okay then." Lunatic said, uneasily.

"Okay, Neytiri definitely had speed and accuracy with her bow and arrow." TL picked up, "I was a LITTLE worried for Chewie, but he showed just as much maneuverability in the trees and proved to be VERY accurate with that Bowcaster. First shot, first kill, and for that reason, I'm giving the edge to the Bowcaster."

_In long-range weapons, the Wookiee takes an early lead with the Bowcaster._

_But the Na'vi are not giving up just yet. They claim to be taking off the gloves._

"The Na'vi were believed to be no more than mindless savages." Neytiri explained, propping herself up on a long lance-like weapon, "But we're not. We make our strategies, we can bring up immense armies if the invasion is dire enough, and we have ways that are simplistic, but effective.

_But the Wookiees are also ready to get down and dirty with their enemies._

"Wookiees are known for their strength across the galaxy." Han Solo informed, "Most people think that Wookiees are a primitive and stupid race." THIS earned him an annoyed growl from Chewbacca. "Lemme finish. Wookiees are intelligent, fast learners, and a decently-technological race. Better?"

Chewbacca nodded, showing every hint of satisfaction.

_While wookiees would commonly use firearms, if it came to hand-wielded weapons, they would meet the challenge head-on._

_The War Sword: four and a half feet of primal cutting power._

War Sword:  
Size: 4.5ft  
Weight: 6lbs  
Substance: Wood handle, Steel blade

_Han Solo is too small to use Wookiee weapons. Fortunately, Chewbacca is there to lend a hand._

"This thing will cut a man in half." Han explained, letting Chewie give a few practice swings with the sword, "He's gonna cut your arms off, cut your legs out from under you."

"Wow, that thing looks SO much bigger to a human." Ray said, taking the War Sword from Chewie.

"That's why Wookiees can use them. They take advantage of their superior size and reach to kill their enemies." Han answered.

_To see just how deadly a Wookiee armed with a blade is, Chewbacca will test his mettle on a ballistics gel torso. Just one catch: it's in the shape of a Trandoshan, a Wookiee's least favorite species._

Chewbacca snarled at the Trandoshan torso, imagining it as being the bounty hunter Bossk. He then raised the sword, ready to mutilate the torso in any way imaginable.

"Okay, Chewie, you ready?" TL asked.

Chewbacca nodded in response.

"THREE! TWO! ONE! CUT IT UP!"

With a primal roar, Chewbacca pulled back the War Sword and swung it at the gel Trandoshan's neck. The sword cleaved clean through half of the neck, breaking the neck vertebrae in the process.

_Chewbacca has inflicted a powerful wound, but thanks to our experts, they realize the damage would have been much worse…_

"This wound is one of the best deathblows you can give." Ray said, inspecting the wound, "You've cut through muscle, you've gotten through the carotid arteries, and you've cut through the spine. But you also hit this metal rod made to support the torso. That stopped the blade from going any further."

"I'm taking it we need a different test, huh?" Han asked.

_To test the TRUE cutting power of the Wookiee War Sword, Chewbacca is given fresh meat: the closest thing to human tissue._

Chewbacca emitted a moan in slight amusement at the sight before him: a pig carcass suspended from the ceiling.

"Okay, Chewie. You have three swipes with that sword and three tries at cutting up that pig. Understand?" TL asked, earning a nod from Chewbacca.

Chewbacca picked up the sword, then pulled it back and with one swing, the pig's lower half fell free of its body. Another swing and the pig's ribcage went to join the hip. And on the last swing, all that remained suspended were the pig's severed forelimbs.

"THIS is a more accurate representation of what a Wookiee would do to an unarmored enemy. He went through organs, went through muscle, and through bones, too." Ray said as he examined the severed pieces of pig, "And the fact that he's doing it at such a distance adds more to that killing potential."

"Trust me. Those kitty cats will NOT want to get close to a Wookiee armed with THIS." Han boasted with a smug smirk.

"But with our longer limbs and weapons, we could strike from an even further distance." Neytiri countered, "Your friend will be in even deeper trouble."

"Okay, what would THAT be, per chance?" Lunatic asked.

_The Na'vi preferred a longer weapon than the sword…and one they say has a more crushing blow._

_The War Axe: six feet of wood topped with a razor-sharp obsidian blade used for hacking off limbs._

War Axe:  
Size: 6'  
Weight: 9lbs  
Substance: Wood, Obsidian

"When we want to think about sharp rocks, I guarantee you that obsidian comes to mind first." Ray pointed out, then held out a slab of obsidian, "It can be sharpened finer than a steel blade, but because of its lesser density, it breaks and dulls quicker."

"This is the Na'vi Axe." Jake said to the experts, holding out the weapon, "It was an easy weapon to make and an even more effective one to use. Just feel this blade…"

TL took the axe, then tapped the blade with his finger. "Whoa…that's some SERIOUSLY sharp stuff."

_Is the war axe enough to knock a Wookiee dead? Our experts are about to find out with a foam torso armed with a Wookiee sword._

Jake smirked as he came across a white foam torso which was the same size as the average Wookiee: tall enough to look Chewbacca right in the eye.

"Okay, Jake, where are you gonna try and nail this guy?" Lunatic asked.

"The gut, the shoulder, or even the crown of the skull." Jake answered, showing a few slow strokes in said areas.

"Okay, then how far out will you be if you want to kill your Wookiee enemy?" Lunatic asked.

"If a Na'vi warrior strikes with an overhand strike, there's NO way a Wookiee will want to reach this far." Jake said, taking an overhand strike.

"Well, put your money where your mouth is, Jake." TL said, "Take three strikes to this human target."

_Jake prepares to unleash a primal attack with the Na'vi War Axe…_

"GO!"

With a roar, Jake pulled back the war axe and slammed it into the dummy's torso, lodging its obsidian blade deep into the target. After dislodging the blade, Jake stepped back, then raised it over his head and chopped into the foam torso's shoulder. And with just one more removal of the blade, Jake swung again and the axe embedded itself full in the dummy's face.

After Jake removed the axe, Ray walked up to the torso to examine where the axe had hit.

"Okay, first blow is an interesting shot. He would have ruptured organs like the lung, intestine, maybe even the liver. And with the force of the blade coming down, he would have broken several ribs, too."

"The next shot on the shoulder would have slammed through his shoulder muscles, which have a LOT of important blood vessels in them, and crushed the ribcage and collarbone in one fell swoop." Ray said, gesturing to said wound.

"Finally, this head shot…that's a lobotomy you're NOT living through. When you see the head get split open like THIS, it's a guaranteed kill shot."

"But what Wookiee would LET you cleave his skull in two?" Han asked, Chewbacca by his side.

"You run, we chase." Neytiri countered, "Simple enough?"

_Both Wookiee and Na'vi have unleashed their primal rage, but which weapon gives their species an edge?_

"War Sword vs. Na'vi axe…this is a tough one." Ray said, truly looking torn, "But I'm giving a slight edge to the War Axe. The Na'vi height, combined with the axe's length and weight, will NOT be blocked easily. And when it does hit, it's going to be a bloodbath."

_In mid-range weapons, the Na'vi gets the edge with the axe._

_Battle-hardened species collide as brutal and muscular Wookiee clashes with lithe and agile Na'vi. And when it came to getting down and dirty, both wouldn't hesitate._

"I don't find it wise to upset a Wookiee." Han said, smugly, "These Na'vi guys might shoot you with an arrow, but they don't pull people's arms out of their sockets. Wookiees are known to do that."

"A human armed with a GUN knew better than to carelessly attack a Na'vi." Jake said with a shrug, "A wookiee's going to learn that lesson just as soon. One mistake and he'll be impaled."

_The one weapon a Na'vi never left home without was the Bone Knife: carved from the bones of a mighty beast, it was an all-use tool._

Bone Knife:  
Size: 1ft  
Weight: 2lbs  
Substance: Animal bone, wood handle, plant sinew

"This looks like an average gun to you or anyone else." Neytiri said, holding out a foot-long, curved dagger carved almost entirely of bone. "But in the hands of a Na'vi warrior, a knife has a thousand uses: killing included."

"And what creature's bones would you use to make this kind of knife?" TL asked, feeling the blade's edge.

"Anything with bones big enough." Jake answered, "Simple enough for you?"

"That it is." Lunatic joked.

_To test the bone knife's lethality, Jake is given a realistic target: the carcass of a pig._

Jake sized up his pig target, then readied the bone-crafted dagger and even began to bounce a little, ready for battle.

"Jake, you ready?" TL called.

"Ready!" Jake answered, enthusiastically.

"On THREE! TWO! ONE! CUT IT UP!"

With an adrenaline fueled roar, Jake thrust his knife into the pig, repeatedly and swiftly. Blood was gushing from the pig's wounds and Jake just wouldn't stop. He was slashing, stabbing, and moving around the pig to ensure that there would be wounds anywhere and everywhere on this pig. All the while, Jake was emitting the same roar: one that he only showed as he killed his enemy.

When the bloodshed finished, the pig was lacerated all over. Jake gave it one more thrust, then took a moment to regain his breath.

"What…the…HECK, man?" Lunatic said in surprise, "What did you DO to this guy?"

"I did my job. That's what." Jake said with a laugh.

"THAT was quite the show there." Ray said almost gleefully, "I mean…your arm was a blur and the knife was just as fast."

"Something does bother me about this weapon." Lunatic pointed out, "He has to close the distance between him and the wookiee and, compared to the other weapons of the Na'vi, it's a tad too short."

"The Na'vi don't worry about the length of their weapons." Neytiri corrected, "It's the warrior BEHIND the weapon."

"Too bad, 'cuz we have a warrior behind our weapon, too." Han said, Chewie nodding in agreement, "And this weapon happens to be fast, mobile, AND long."

To emphasize Han's point, Chewbacca held up a pair of large, tonfa-shaped blades, sharp points on each end.

_The Ryyk Swords: with a handle in the middle of the blade, it allows maneuverability and lethal versatility._

Ryyk Swords:  
Size: 4ft  
Weight: 3.7lbs  
Substance: Steel, Roshir wood

"This is nice little set of Na'vi killers right here." Han said as Chewbacca showed off the blades, "They're long, heavy, and you can spin them and alternate different sides. The short end can be used for thrusting…" Chewbacca demonstrated, plunging the short side of the tonfa-swords into a combat dummy. "And the other side can be used for slashing at a greater distance. By using the short end, you also have a nice and handy arm-guard."

"So, what'll this do to a Na'vi enemy?" TL asked, curiously.

"Shred 'im to pieces." Han answered.

"Well, we've got just the thing for you: a ballistics gel Na'vi body. Any damage you do to this guy will be reminiscent to that you'll do to a Na'vi opponent." Ray explained.

"Like the sound of that, don't you Chewie?" Han asked, earning an enthusiastic nod from the beast.

"Okay, if you're ready!" TL called, "THREE! TWO! ONE! CUT IT UP!"

Chewie roared before going hog-wild on the torso. One stab sent the short end of the blade through the Na'vi's ribcage, rupturing organs and cracking bones in the process. With the other blade, he twirled it before bringing the long end down in a vertical slash that created a wound from the Na'vi's shoulder down to the left side of its ribs. He pulled back both, then swung at the Na'vi's head, almost severing it completely. One final attack impaled the Na'vi dummy on the Ryyk swords' long ends.

After Chewie had his fun, Ray went in to examine the carnage…

"Wow. The first two strikes were interesting enough: you were using one blade to hold the Na'vi in place, then used the other to deliver another wound." Ray said, looking at the stab and slash wounds, "The stab would have broken a few ribs, punctured a lung…almost pierced the heart. The slash, however, would have ripped through shoulder muscles and torn through the vital organs, too."

"Do we even NEED an explanation on the impalement at the end?" Lunatic asked, fingering the holes the Ryyk swords created.

"Nope. That would be an insta-kill right there." Ray answered.

"Hey, Na'vi sissies, get over here and check this out." Han said, proudly, "This is what your guy's gonna look like after this fight."

"And your Wookiee's going to be impaled by our best warrior first." Neytiri countered.

"Bring it on, beautiful. Bring it ON." Han challenged.

_So, in close-quarter weaponry, which arboreal warrior gets the edge?_

"The bone knife is a handy little tool to have, but you have to get extremely close to your enemy to use it effectively." Lunatic pointed out, "The Ryyk swords are multi-functional and MUCH longer in comparison: they can stab, they can slash, and they can be used as defensive weapons. Edge to the Wookiee this time."

_The Wookiee takes the edge with the Ryyk swords._

_But when long- and close-range combat weren't enough, both could resort to their lethal polearms._

"Wookiees are small." Jake reasoned, "We're big. And with a weapon like our lance, they won't get close enough to touch us."

_The Lance: a Na'vi's favorite weapon to use on any ground-based mount._

Lance:  
Size: 8ft  
Weight: 9lbs  
Substance: Stone head, wood shaft

"Oh, that thing has some length on it." TL said, comparing the spear's length to Jake's height.

"Yes, I guarantee it will impale even the mightiest of Pandora's predators." Jake assured.

_Sharing a planet with mighty predators hardened the Na'vi warriors into proud and athletic hunters._

_Now, Jake will demonstrate the piercing power of the Na'vi lance, Jake will mount the Na'vi's most common mount: the Direhorse._

"Okay, Jake, we have three targets for you." TL explained out at a nearby range, "What you're going to do is ride your mount down this small area and stab each one of your targets with that one lance. Can you take it?"

"Yes, sir." Jake said with a nod.

Jake mounted his direhorse, bonded with the beast, then urged it forward. The six-limbed alien beast galloped forward, Jake clutching the eight-foot weapon in his hand. As his mount passed the first target, Jake thrust out with the lance, jabbing the first target in the chest and burying the tip of the weapon into the dummy's ribcage.

The weapon was dislodged mere seconds later as the direhorse galloped closer and closer to its next target. Jake was swift on the uptake, for he jabbed a little lower, catching the next dummy in the gut, causing this wound to spew out blood.

Recovering his weapon, Jake neared his next target and with amazing accuracy, caught the next dummy in the meeting point of each ribcage. He let his weapon go this time, leaving it embedded in the torso and letting it bleed.

"Impressive." Ray said, strumming his fingers together, "Most impressive."

"Okay, Lord Vader, what did tall, blue, and stripy do to these immobile targets?" Han asked.

"Well, by riding that mount, he's already got a huge advantage." Ray explained, "Not only is he out of reach of your sword, his mount is moving forward at an extreme speed. That will increase the piercing power of that lance by an incredible amount, meaning it could impale a person like meat on a spit."

"So, do you Wookiees have any mount to call yours?" Neytiri asked.

"Nope." Han answered, earning a confused look from Chewie, "Instead, we have something to dismount you."

On hearing Han Solo say THAT, Chewie emitted a sound that seemed to say, "Oh, NOW I get what you're getting at…"

_The wookiee responds to this mounted threat with the Bladestick: an eight-foot polearm with a thrusting, cutting blade on the end._

Bladestick:  
Size: 8ft  
Weight: 8lbs  
Substance: Roshir wood, steel blade

"Behold a wookiee's mount-killer." Han introduced as Chewbacca showed off the naginata-esque weapon, "This weapon was made to keep enemies at bay, take out the nasty beasts of Kashyyyk, and there were even reports of Wookiees taking out troopers on speeder bikes with this thing."

"So, can it kill a Na'vi mount in a Wookiee's hand?" Lunatic asked, then realized what he had said, "Er…paw?"

"Hand works fine, kid." Han answered, "And 'YES', that will take out anything you jab it at."

_To back up Han's statement, Chewbacca will take a swing at a meat cut the size of a direhorse's midsection._

Han smirked at the sight of the hunk of meat: complete with bones, limbs, and hips. Chewie was going to have the time of his life with this thing.

"So, here's what's gonna happen." Ray explained, "This meat's gonna come at you at high speed. And I want you to impale it, cut it, do whatever you want with it."

After pulling the meat back, Chewbacca took the bladestick in a battle-ready pose.

"On my mark…" TL called, "THREE! TWO! ONE! RELEASE!"

Ray swung the meat towards Chewbacca, who roared and thrust the bladestick forward. The blade sliced in between the ribs of the target like butter, but Chewie wasn't quite done yet. He pulled out the blade, then brought it in a vertical swing down its back. The carcass's spine actually split from the impact of the weapon.

When Chewbacca dislodged the weapon, the team moved in to examine the carnage.

"Wow. This blade is surprisingly thick, so that thrust actually smashed past the ribcage of this…mount." Ray said, trying to find the right word. He recovered, then said, "And that last swipe actually severed the spinal chord: that means he could probably decapitate a horse in one swing."

_It's tough competition, but one weapon can get the edge._

"Lance vs. Bladestick?" Lunatic asked, "It's close, very close, but due to a slight length advantage and the availability of it on a mount, I give the edge to the Na'vi lance."

_In special weapons, the Na'vi takes the edge._

_

* * *

_

We've gathered all our test data, all our weapon stats, and now it's time to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior: a Wookiee or a Na'vi.

_We tested four of a Wookiee's favorite weapons of war: The Bowcaster, Bladestick, War Sword, and Ryyk swords._

_We also tested four traditional Na'vi weapons: The Bow and Arrow, Lance, War Axe, and Bone Knife._

_In long-range weapons, we pitted both races' iconic weapons: the Wookiee Bowcaster and the Na'vi bow and arrow._

"Faster reload and accuracy at a greater distance; combine those with immense stopping power and that will give you the edge."

Edge: Wookiee

_In mid-range weapons, the Wookiee and Na'vi clashed the Wookiee War Sword against the Na'vi War Axe._

"Longer reach, greater force, and an unstoppable swing: edge to the Na'vi axe."

Edge: Na'vi

_In close-range weapons, we pitted the adaptability of each warrior against each other: Na'vi knife vs. Wookiee blade._

"The Bone Knife is an adaptable little tool, but the Ryyk swords have a distinct advantage due to length and maneuverability. Those two elements are enough for the wookiee."

Edge: Wookiee

_Finally, we pitted each warrior's deadly polearms against each other: the Na'vi Lance against the Wookiee Bladestick._

"Both weapons could take each other down, but due to a slight reach advantage, speed advantage, and height advantage, I give the edge to the Na'vi lance."

Edge: Na'vi

_With the test data complete, Lunatic inputs the data into a supercomputer developed by Slytherine Studios to decide the victor. To prevent a lucky blow from taking the match, Lunatic sets the battle to run a thousand times._

_It will be a battle of opposites…_

_Passive solitude…_

(A group of Na'vi gather around a tree as they mark the face of a warrior.)

_Versus Hunting instinct._

(A Wookiee swings from a vine, lands on a prey animal, then jams a sword into its neck.)

_Simplicity and Effectiveness…_

(A Na'vi nails a soldier with an arrow, then turns and smacks away another with the tip of his bow.)

_Versus Technology and Brutality._

(A Wookiee leaps out to surprise attack a stormtrooper, shooting it with its bowcaster before gunning down another.)

"By running this simulation, we're going to find out who won, who died, and in what way. Na'vi vs. Wookiee: time to find out who is the Deadliest Warrior."

With one stroke of the key, the virtual battle began…

-the fight-

Deep in an alien jungle, at the base of an enormous tree, a Wookiee warrior scouted the area on the lookout for anything out-of-place to him. His sensitive nose suddenly caught an unfamiliar scent, and as any good warrior would do, he followed the scent.

Not far away, a Na'vi scout was emerging from the underbrush on a direhorse mount. In one hand, he held a bow. Strapped to his back were a lance and a war axe, and at his waist was a bone-carved knife.

Once at the clearing, the Wookiee froze and the Na'vi slowed his mount to a halt. Both eyed each other warily until the Na'vi emitted a war cry and his direhorse broke into a full gallop towards the Wookiee.

As the Na'vi strung an arrow, the Wookiee could obviously tell this was NOT going to be a friendly meeting. The furry creature sprang to the side, a javelin-sized arrow narrowly missing him.

The Wookiee slung off his bowcaster, took aim at the passing Na'vi, then fired a blast of green. While the first blast splintered part of a nearby tree, the second struck the direhorse full in the rump, causing it to tumble to the ground, taking its blue-skinned rider with it.

The Na'vi moaned as he picked himself up, then severed the bond with its mount and sprang over a gigantic root.

The Wookiee slowly moved towards the mount, then saw the footprints of the catlike creature in the soft soil. He followed them to the root of the tree, then made his way around the root.

As the Wookiee turned the corner, the Na'vi sprang and, with a swing of its lance, it smacked the bowcaster out of its enemy's hand. The Wookiee roared in surprise, but removed a Bladestick from a sheath on its back and brandished it at the Na'vi.

The Na'vi responded to the Wookiee's roar by baring his teeth and emitting a grating hiss. And both knew there and then that the battle was on.

The Na'vi took his lance, then thrust forward only to hit nothing as the Wookiee sidestepped the attack. The Wookiee counterattacked with a thrust of his own polearm, but met with a similar result. The Na'vi parried with his lance, then used the opposite end to push the Wookiee away.

The Wookiee responded with a downward swipe at the Na'vi, only for the Pandora native to raise the lance and block the attack. The Wookiee, taking advantage of the opportune weak moment, pushed forward and actually knocked the Na'vi back.

The Na'vi stumbled to the ground, lance winding up on the ground in the process, but the feline rolled away as the Wookiee tried to impale him on his Bladestick. The Na'vi thrust his foot forward and the Wookiee stumbled back several steps.

Both put some distance between each other until they both took out new weapons. The Wookiee took out a War Sword while the Na'vi took out a War Axe.

Both moved, but in different ways. The Na'vi swung his axe in a wide sweep and the Wookiee backed away to evade it. The Wookiee swung his own blade to try his luck only to meet the wooden shaft of the axe. The Na'vi swung down this time and the Wookiee sidestepped it, backing into the tree's massive root.

The Na'vi closed in, ready to end the fight. But when he swung, the Wookiee rolled away and the obsidian axe plunged deep into the wood of the tree. The Wookiee, wanting to rid his enemy of a weapon, brought his sword down and severed the axe's head from the shaft.

The Na'vi pulled back so barely that, when the Wookiee swung his sword, the Na'vi received a shallow wound on his right side, blood trickling down his abdomen. Responding quickly, the Na'vi took his trusted bone dagger and pointed it at the Wookiee like an accusing finger.

The Wookiee emitted a low snarl, then swung his sword at the Na'vi only to miss. The Na'vi had ducked and took a quick swipe with his knife, creating a gash in the Wookiee's shoulder. The furry creature roared in surprise, but didn't have much time to react because the Na'vi backhanded him, knocking the sword from his grip and the Wookiee down on his seat.

The Wookiee scooted back, then got up, reached behind him and took out his Ryyk blades. Both stood ready to either attack, defend, or any combination of the two.

Both lunged forward, the Na'vi striking first. The Wookiee stepped aside, then jabbed at the Na'vi with his Ryyk swords, creating a gash in the feline creature's arm. The Na'vi struck back, creating a gash across the Wookiee's chest, and the Wookiee countered with a strike of his own.

But this one was to the Na'vi's thigh.

The Na'vi roared in pain, but the pain soon shifted as the Wookiee took the short end of his Ryyk blade and jammed it deep into the Na'vi's chest cavity.

The Na'vi began to cough up blood as he dropped to his knees. The last thing this Na'vi would see was the Wookiee swapping his blades for his dropped sword. And with one thrust, the Na'vi was impaled by the brutal alien warrior.

The Na'vi fell to the ground as the Wookiee removed his weapon. With his enemy dead, the Wookiee emitted a loud victory roar to the sky.

-end-

Winner: Wookiee

"Over the course of a thousand battles, the Wookiee emerged victorious with sixty-one point seven percent of the time to the Na'vi's thirty-eight point three percent." Lunatic explained

Wookiee Kills:  
Bowcaster: 312  
War Sword: 59  
Ryyk blades: 167  
Bladestick: 89  
All-in-all Kills: 617

Na'vi Kills:  
Bow and Arrow: 192  
War Axe: 87  
Lance: 98  
Bone Knife: 6  
All-in-all Kills: 383

"For both warriors, their long-distance weapons were their calling cards." Lunatic went on, "The Wookiee was really used to combat and war happening on a regular basis, and his metal weapons and futuristic firearm proved to be made just for the occasion."

"Superior weapons, superior experience," Ray went on, "The best species won."

"The Wookiee may have won a man-on-man fight." Jake reasoned, "But if it were a full-scale battle, I guarantee the match would have turned out different."

"I'm convinced that the Na'vi are made of tough stuff." Han said, Chewbacca standing proudly at his side, "But when it comes to the Deadliest Warrior, you can't compare with a Wookiee."

(A Wookiee emits its traditional roar as it raises a bowcaster in the air.)

_With apologies to Avatar fans._

_Next Time…_

_It's the ultimate game of outlaw versus bounty hunter as two groups on opposite sides of the gaming board cross pistols…_

_Vash the Stampede: the gunslinging outlaw with an unimaginable fortune on his head._

_Versus…_

_Train Heartnet: the ex-Chronos agent who spells bad luck for anyone he encounters._

_Stay tuned…_


	18. Vash the Stampede vs Train Heartnet

**Vash the Stampede**

(A young man with blonde, starched hair and a red coat whipped out a revolver with lightning-speed.)

The rogue gunslinger with a bounty of sixty-billion double-dollars on his head alone.

(Vash whips out a revolver, then fires, knocking an outlaw's submachine gun out of his hand before shooting him in the arm.)

**Train Heartnet**

(Another man, this one with untidy brown hair and a blue jacket spun an ornate revolver before taking aim.)

The quick-witted sweeper who takes down his enemies with a combination of speed and precision.

(Train turns a corner, as a target tries shooting him, only for Train to deflect the bullet and shoot the target in the leg.)

_WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?_

_To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe-to-toe._

_No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is…_

_**The Deadliest Warrior**_

In the fight club, two warriors on each side were packing weapons none would expect: advanced pistols, guns one wouldn't expect, anything made to take down an enemy.

_Today in the fight club, we've gathered a team of doctors, scientists, computer experts, and firearm masters along with a deadly arsenal. All this is to decide who would win between two legendary sharpshooters…_

_Train Heartnet: a bounty hunter whose past reputation has made him a legend on the city streets._

_VS._

_Vash the Stampede: a rogue whose unpredictability has made him feared across his home planet._

Train Heartnet…  
Height: 5'9"  
Weight: 137lbs  
Gear: 6lbs  
Age: 23

Vash the Stampede…  
Height: 6'  
Weight: 165lbs  
Gear: 5lbs  
Age: N/A

A man with a black beret, a buzz-cut, and military camo pants went in to examine several tightly-knit bullet holes on a foam torso.

_Biologist and weapons expert, __**Sgt. Marcus Reynol**__, will examine the damage that both these gunslingers can dish out._

"We're not just talking about submachine guns in this episode." Ray explained, "We're packing phenomenal accuracy with a pistol, James Bond weapons, and explosives. It's gonna be a showdown the likes of us have never seen."

A white hedgehog nodded as he took a few steps away from a camera.

_Media expert and biomechanical expert, __**TLSoulDude**__, will show what our gunners' weapons can really do._

"This whole matchup is gonna be a big game of Cops 'n Robbers: we have a bounty hunter going up against a rogue." TL said, excitedly, "THIS will be a win-or-lose for either of them."

A young man with spiky, red hair sat at the computer, putting in data necessary for the program.

_Computer wiz, __**Lunatic the 121**__**st**__, will input the data into a computer simulation program developed by Slytherine Studios that will ultimately decide the victor._

"I've had to customize this program a little bit because both these guys will have to bring in more than just their traditional handguns if they want any chance in this fight." Lunatic explained.

_To prevent a lucky bullet from snaring defeat, Lunatic sets the match up to be gang-on-gang: Vash and three allies will clash with Train and three fellow hunters. And for the first time ever, if either needed a chance to win, they would have to leave their enemy dead on the ground. The winner will be the DEADLIEST WARRIOR._

A woman in a purple suit, long, white hair, and the Roman numeral for 1 tattooed on her forehead inspected a handgun decorated with black metal and gold.

_Rooting for the Sweeper extraordinaire is the number one agent of Chronos, __**Sepheria Arks. **__Train himself worked for Chronos, and Sepheria is the one who gave him his traditional pistol._

"If there's someone with a decent bounty on their head, I can guarantee you that Train will bring him down." Sepheria said, her voice cold and stern, "

Another woman, this one with lavender hair, inspected a silver case, checking to see how heavy it was and how well she could hold it at knee-height.

_Master thief and spy, __**Rinslet Walker. **__Rinslet worked with Train on more than one occasion and has aided him in catching some of the world's most dangerous criminals._

"Train is not like your average bounty hunter." Rinslet said, holding up a hand pistol, "If he pulls out this gun, you're going to be knee-deep in trouble because whatever he fires at, he's going to hit."

_Train Heartnet has led a horrible life. When he was just a boy, his parents were murdered, and he was taken under the care of a merciless killer. After the death of his mentor, Chronos found him and trained him in even deadlier sharpshooting._

"When Train came into Chronos, he was already a worthy adversary." Sepheria explained, "But when he joined, he became even MORE efficient with a gun."

_But Train's life in Chronos came to an abrupt halt after the murder of a close friend. He left the organization and swore to clean the streets of evil by himself along with his partner, Sven Vollfied._

_Team Heartnet feels they've found the ultimate bounty, but their rivals, Team Vash, feel that they're not going to get their reward just yet._

A man in a suit and with black hair hoisted a giant, cross-shaped machine up like a machine gun.

_A wandering priest and master gunner, __**Nicholas Wolfwood**__, knows Vash the Stampede inside and out. Having traveled with him across the planet, he's memorized how the Human Typhoon shoots and fights._

"There's a common misconception that Spiky-Head is some pacifist who just got his hands on a gun and went on the run. That's not the case." Wolfwood discredited, "He's a skilled marksman and has shown me on more than one occasion that he's smarter than he lets on."

A dark-haired woman in a white coat took a small pistol in her hand and loaded two fresh bullets into it.

_Master of small pistols; __**"Derringer" Meryl Stryfe. **__An employee of the Bernardelli Insurance Society, she has sought to prove that Vash is not the criminal that most people make him out to be._

"Vash is going to destroy this Black Cat because of his sharpshooting and the sheer damage that can be done if he allows himself to do it." Meryl stated, "The Black Cat is going to fall, and he's going to fall hard."

_Born on a space colony, Vash was raised and taught life lessons by an important motherly figure to him. But one day, everything went horribly wrong._

"Vash was living on cloud nine, but one day his own brother caused the entire colony to malfunction and that would lead to its destruction along with his loved one's death." Wolfwood explained, "That's when he went off the rails."

_But the local townspeople believed that Vash caused disaster after disaster, but though most of them were accidental, the natives of a nearby planet increased the bounty on his head until it reached sixty-billion double-dollars._

_But will Train Heartnet walk away with this money? Or will Vash walk off, having removed another attempt on his life?_

"I'm putting my pre-game bet on Vash the Stampede." Ray put out, "The fact that he's held out against authorities across his planet means that he knows how and when to avoid attention if possible."

"I'm giving it to Train Heartnet at this point." Lunatic disagreed, "In a battle of wits and staying one step ahead of your enemy, Train usually is doing that in any fight. Vash tends to make things up as he goes along."

_Though on opposite ends, both Train and Vash have one thing in common: they both pack their own legendary revolver._

_For Train, the Hades Revolver: encased in Orichalcum, it doubles up as more than just your standard handgun._

Hades Revolver:  
Size: 9in  
Weight: 3lbs  
Rounds: 6  
Ammo: .45cal

"This is Train's signature weapon." Sephiria said, holding up a revolver with a sleek, black coat, gold lining, and the Roman Numeral XIII emblazoned on its side. "The Orichalcum shell not only helps absorb the kick of the shot, it also gives it a unique defensive ability that only Train can master."

_Vash's choice of gun is the Mateba Autorevolver: with a few modifications, it's even more effective than the standard revolver._

Mateba Revolver:  
Size: 11in  
Weight: 3lbs  
Rounds: 6  
Ammo: .45 cal

"This handgun has a few different features than your standard gun." Wolfwood pointed out, "The kick from the blast actually rotates the cylinder and pushes the hammer back into place. Put simply, you only have to pull back the hammer once, so you don't slow down when shooting."

_So, which handgun is more lethal than the other?_

"Because of the lethality of these two handguns, we've had to head outside in order to obtain the safety we need to gather data." Lunatic explained.

Out at a nearby firing range, Sepheria and Wolfwood held out their warriors' traditional handgun.

"Wow, that's a BEAUTIFUL gun." TL said, taking the Hades and inspecting it.

"Train would use this weapon as more than just a firearm, you know." Sepheria explained, "He would also use it as a powerful bludgeoning weapon or use it to deflect bullets even."

"Wow." Lunatic said, impressed, "Those reflexes must REALLY be something for him to do that."

"What about your gun, Nick? Any tricks Vash has up his sleeve?" TL asked, handing the Hades back to Sepheria and taking the Mateba.

"Vash has one particular trick with this gun." Wolfwood answered, "He ties a tassel to the gun's handle, so that if he ever drops it or gets it knocked out of his grip, he can just jerk his wrist and get it back in an instant."

"So, here's the deal for you two." TL said, then pointed out two different scenarios.

On Sepheria's side was a desk and several sandbags and three dummies dressed in the ragged clothing of a gangster.

"On your side, Sepheria, you have three guys trying to rob a bank. I want to see ALL of them down" TL explained.

The hedgehog then gestured to another scenario; THIS one resembling more of an alleyway, occupied by three people with official-looking clothes and hats.

"Nicholas, this is more of an outlaw setting. You have three bounty hunters coming in, ready to take your head off." TL finished with, "You both get six shots each and, for a little more of a challenge, I want you to holster your guns and draw them out when I start the test. Understand?"

Both nodded.

_First up, Sepheria with the Hades Revolver…_

Sepheria loaded six rounds into the Hades' ammo cylinder, then put it in a holster on her belt.

"Sepheria, you ready?" TL called.

"Yes, sir!"

"THREE! TWO! ONE! SHOOT IT!"

Sepheria immediately drew out the revolver with lightning-speed and, when the gun was already at waist-height, she had fired two rounds, hitting the dummy on the far left straight in the abdomen. She turned, then fired two rounds at the dummy on the right, resulting in two bloody holes: one in the chest, the other in the neck. Finally, she emptied the last two rounds on the dummy right in the middle, both landing in the neck or head.

_Next, Wolfwood takes his own shots with the Mateba Autorevolver…_

"Nick, you ready?" TL called.

"Ready!" Wolfwood answered.

"THREE! TWO! ONE! FIRE!"

Wolfwood whipped the autorevolver out of his holster and gunned down the bounty hunter right in the middle with two shots to the chest. Like Sepheria, he had shot from waist-height, and with equally-deadly results. A split-second later, he had laid two rounds in the dummy on the right; one in the neck and one in the left shoulder. And finally, he wasted the last dummy with his remaining two shots: both in the chest.

_Both are superb sharpshooters with their handguns, and hi-speed footage shows that it took both of them just over a quarter of a second to pull out their gun and fire their first rounds._

_But what damage was unleashed in the firefight?_

"Okay, Sepheria, your first shots were right in this guy's gut." Ray said, going to the far-left dummy, "This would ground this guy by hitting him in the intestines. If you're lucky, this would hit the stomach, liver, maybe even the spine. He's down and he'll be dead in a few minutes especially with the caliber of these bullets."

"The guy on the right, you've dropped his right lung and you've nailed him through the windpipe and pierced his spine, too." Ray explained, "So, he's dying and there's nothing he can do about it."

"Finally, this guy in the middle is as dead as you can get. She nailed him in the center mass of the face with that one shot; an insta-kill." Ray explained.

"Nice shooting, lady." TL complimented, "You killed all these guys without breaking a sweat."

"Trust me. Train would be a much sharper shot than I was." Sepheria stated, "One shot would be all he needed."

"But what about me? What damage did Vash's gun do?" Wolfwood asked.

"Good question." Lunatic answered, "Let's go find out."

The team went in to examine the damage done by Wolfwood's shooting and Ray was the first one to notice.

"Okay, your first two shots were actually decent clustering." Ray said, pointing out the dummy in the middle with two holes in its chest, "This shot went a little under the ribcage. That's going to hit the intestine, maybe the liver, but the one just above it is the kill shot." Ray pointed to a hole right in the center of the dummy's left side, "THIS would hit the heart: an insta-kill."

"This next one here on the right has a shot in his neck, that's a kill right there. The shoulder wound is an interesting shot, shattering the collarbone and, if he was lucky, he'd probably sever a vital blood vessel that's located in the shoulder."

"The third shot is amazing accuracy on his behalf. The first shot pierced the right lung while the second pierced the other and hit the heart. This is a kill shot on both hits."

_Both Vash and Train have proven their quick-draw. But what other factors are there to consider?_

"Train will not just stand there like a mindless zombie." Sepheria pointed out, "If you shoot at him, he'll either evade your shot or block it with his gun."

"Well, at the same time, your shots may be accurate, but you forgot something." Wolfwood countered, "Vash is wearing armor."

_Train Heartnet has superb reflexes; proving he can block bullets with his handgun alone. Train's Hades revolver is coated in a metal called Orichalcum: one of the hardest metals in the world._

_But Vash also boasts impressive defenses. Under his crimson coat, Vash wears a complex armored vest that Wolfwood says can even stop the bullets of a submachine gun._

_But now it's time to put their defenses to the test…_

"Okay, Wolfwood, here's your task." TL said, pointing to a supported slab of a pitch-dark metal, "Your target is that slab of Orichalcum over there. You have three shots to do as much damage as you can."

Wolfwood loaded three bullets into the Mateba autorevolver before taking aim at the slab of metal.

"Ready?"

"Yup."

"THREE! TWO! ONE! FIRE!"

With just a pull of his trigger finger, Wolfwood fired his first round. Without even waiting to see what happened, he kept firing until he used up his third and final round.

The team went in to inspect the damage and found, to their surprise, that the Orichalcum slab looked the same way it had been previously.

"Wow. There's no scratches, no dents, no effect on this metal whatsoever." Lunatic said, running a hand over the slab of metal, "I don't feel any damage, so if Train blocked these bullets, he'd still have a working gun."

"I think you're missing a small point on this." Wolfwood pointed out, "The metal on the gun is going to be small, and Vash's armor covers his whole chest. We'll have an easier time killing you, but you won't have as much luck."

"Then I have bad news for you." Sepheria said, sternly, "Train can use bullets made of this stuff."

"Well, then you can put your theory to the test." Ray said, then pointed out a dummy with a chestplate similar to Vash's, "You have three rounds, one of them being an Orichalcum bullet. And if your regular bullets don't work, then we'll see if the Orichalcum bullet can do any impressive damage."

"Challenge accepted, then." Sepheria said, then loaded three bullets into the Hades revolver.

"Ready, Sepheria?" TL called.

"Ready."

"THREE! TWO! ONE! SHOOT 'EM UP!"

Sepheria fired her first round at the chestplate…nothing. The bullet dented the armor, but didn't penetrate. The second bullet had just about as much effect, creating a dent just above the previous shot.

But when the Orichalcum bullet was fired…the armor finally gave way. The bullet actually pierced the plate and a small trickle of blood could be seen just below the plate.

"Wow." Ray said, looking at the hole, "I knew she could talk it up, but I didn't think she would do it so accurately. This hole is right above the heart, which means severe bleeding."

_Now that the tests have been run, which team's handgun gets an edge?_

"What we saw from both Vash and Train's guns was truly impressive. They were able to shoot accurately, take out their enemies quickly, and provide a defense as well as a way to get around the other's." Lunatic explained, "Due to accuracy and the ability to shoot from waist-height in under a quarter-second, I can't really give the edge to one gun or the other."

_In mid-range weapons, both Vash and Train's revolvers are evenly-matched._

_

* * *

_

Both Vash and Train had one thing in common: both would not take pride in taking the lives of their attackers. But now, that will have to change if one wants to become the Deadliest Warrior.

_Vash the Stampede and his gang bring to the fight: the Mateba Autorevolver, the Cross Punisher, the Colt Derringer, and the Stun Gun._

_Train Heartnet also brings his own arsenal to the fight: the Hades Revolver, Fire Chi, Attache Weapons Case, and the Flashbang Grenade._

_In battle, Vash's trusted ally, Wolfwood, preferred one weapon above all others._

"This is my weapon." Wolfwood said, hefting up a large, metal cross-shaped object, "When THIS weapon comes out, Train and his gang will be running away with their tails between their legs."

_The Cross Punisher: a multifunctional weapon of mass destruction that will eradicate anything it's unleashed upon._

Cross Punisher:  
Size: 4ft  
Weight: 23lbs  
Ammo: 7.62x39mm  
Rounds: 100  
Rate of Fire: 600rpm  
Features: Hidden handguns, rocket launcher

Out at the firing range, Wolfwood and Meryl were currently showing the experts what exactly the Cross Punisher could do.

"Okay, just the sheer size of that thing is enough to scare the living daylights out of someone." Lunatic said in awe, "How many devices do you have on that thing?"

"Quite a few, actually." Wolfwood answered, "The long end of the cross can turn into a machine gun." And in a lightning-fast movement, he held it horizontally and the long end of the cross-shaped weapon opened up to reveal a machine gun barrel.

"The short top of the cross turns into a rocket launcher." Wolfwood turned it over and the top of the cross opened up to reveal another barrel, "And finally, part of the horizontal bar can reveal a hidden second option."

Wolfwood slipped open the right part of the cross to reveal six handguns inside it. Meryl took one and pointed it, as though preparing to shoot.

"This is an absolute nightmare weapon." Ray admitted, "And we have just the thing for you to test it on: a realistic setting."

Ray pointed to a bar-like setting with dummies placed at various places and distances. Two guys were sitting at tables further away from the bar, one guy bartending, and two guys sitting on barstools.

"Nice." Wolfwood said, impressed, then took one of the glasses and took a sip of its contents, "Real wine?"

"Yup." Ray answered.

_Nicholas is given a fresh clip containing fifty bullets and is given one rocket for the launcher part of his Cross Punisher._

"And THREE! TWO! ONE! FIRE!"

With the ringing "ratta-tat-tat" of a machine gun, Wolfwood unleashed a hail of bullets on the scenario. Wine glasses and bottles shattered, spilling their contents across the floor. Holes were blasted in the wall, tables, and bar, splintering the wooden structures in the process.

But the most horrific event was when the bullets riddled each and every dummy multiple times, spilling their blood across the floor, dyeing their clothes a deep crimson.

When the gun part clicked, empty, Wolfwood spun it around and aimed the short end of the cross at the bar. And with the pull of another trigger, a rocket flew from the barrel and with an explosion, eradicated the bar and all those around it.

Taking part of the right section of the cross, Wolfwood took a handgun from the section and shot a few holes in the dummies sitting at the tables.

_Wolfwood performs all three acts in a six-second killing spree._

"Oh man…" Ray said in shock, "Most of these bullets hit either the chest, the face, or hit in so many areas that there's no chance of survival. The rocket blew up the bar and all those around it. And the handgun showed his accuracy even after a heavy assault."

"It comes with years of practice with this weapon." Wolfwood explained, "I've used it so many times that I can alternate between weapons like THAT." He made himself clear by snapping his fingers.

"But that's SUCH a heavy weapon." Rinslet pointed out, "You look like you can barely move that thing."

"I have YET to see one of your guys cause this much destruction with just one weapon." Meryl argued.

"Well, Train has someone who can take out multiple people with a lot less grunt." Rinslet said, proudly.

_Team Train counters with a special ability used by a pursuer of Train's and a former Apostle of the Stars…_

_Fire Chi: Produced from a mystic energy in the wielder's body, it allows her to spit searing flames._

Fire Chi:  
Size: Variable  
Range: 100ft  
Substance: Chi energy, spiritual fire

"A member of Vash's gang was a former apostle of the stars." Sepheria explained, "She could actually breathe and spit flame. By adjusting her breath, she could extend its range, make it denser, or make the flames expand by that factor alone."

"Well, what'll this ability do to Vash's gang?" Lunatic asked.

"I think it'll burn them down with whatever building they're in." Rinslet answered.

_To show what would happen, our team has set up a small shack with Vash stand-ins._

Sepheria put on a protective mask, then took up a flamethrower of sorts, testing to see if it would fire effectively.

_Since the wielder herself is not here, we will be using a flamethrower that uses similar control and flame intensity._

"On my mark." TL called, "Three! Two! ONE! LIGHT 'EM UP!"

Sepheria pointed the flamethrower at the shack, then unleashed a torrent of fire at it. The house swiftly burst into flame, taking anything inside with it. A quick point later and a fireball torched a dummy on the left. And after another burst of fire, both dummies and the shack were going up in flames.

"Wow. THAT was what I would dub an 'inferno' strike." Lunatic pointed out, "Just one point, and whatever you're pointing at will go down in flames."

Wolfwood shook his head. "I think you're missing something, though. You may have set these mindless dummies ablaze, but with a Cross Punisher, I have a superior range and far more killing power."

"True. But in tight spaces, you won't get a chance to use that thing effectively." Rinslet argued, "This, all we have to do is breathe."

_Our teams talk up their weapons, but what do our weapons have to say?_

"I like the point they made about the fire chi in that it doesn't take a lot of energy." Ray admitted, "But in terms of sheer killing prowess, I have to give the edge to the Cross Punisher."

"The Fire Chi does do a lot of damage, being able to incinerate any organic thing it hits. But due to multiple functions and far more devastating results, I have to give the edge to the Cross Punisher."

_In long-range weapons, Vash's gang gets a nasty edge with the Cross Punisher._

_

* * *

_

Vash the Stampede vs. Train Heartnet: in a battle to the finish, who would walk away? Who would lie dead on the ground?

_Team Train believes that the Black Cat's intelligence and ability to stay one step ahead of his enemies will take the match._

"The X-factor that will take Train to victory against Vash is his ability to strategize even in the heat of the fiercest battle." Sepheria explained, "Even if there are explosions everywhere, bullets flying left and right, Train will still kill you even in the heat of that moment."

_Team Vash believes, instead, that Vash's raw power and know-how in any battle situation will make an even bigger difference._

"Vash knows that he's in battle. And he will hit his enemies hard and fast before any move can be made." Wolfwood explained, "He, too, knows how most warrior mindsets work. And he will do anything he can to make use of any weakness his enemy might have."

_Both their gangs have a member that specialize in surprise-attack weapons: guns that can either be brought out quickly or even a gun that most people don't think is a gun._

"Train's not gonna know what hit him…" Meryl said, holding up a small handgun.

_The Colt Derringer: a pocket-size handgun that can kill a criminal when he least expects it._

Colt Derringer:  
Size: 4in  
Weight: under 1lb  
Ammo: .45cal  
Rounds: 2  
Range: 6ft

"This derringer is best used as a stealth weapon." Meryl explained, "Its size make it easy to carry, easy to conceal, and allows someone like me to carry many of them." To prove her point, she pulled back her white coat to show SEVERAL derringers strapped inside.

"What's the effective range of this weapon?" Lunatic asked, "Stealth is one thing, but you need to be accurate, too."

"The longest range is ten feet." Meryl answered, "But the effective range is six feet."

_To test Meryl's efficiency with the derringer, our team has her take aim at the closest thing to human flesh: a ballistics gel torso._

Meryl took her first derringer, then took aim.

"GO!"

Meryl fired her derringer, putting a forty-five-cal bullet straight in the torso's ribcage. But after firing another shot, one landing in its gut, she had to retrieve another pistol.

Upon getting another derringer, Meryl fired two more shots. The first shot hit the dummy in the face while the second hit the shoulder.

"Okay, this is decent placing." Ray said, looking over the bullet wounds, "The first bullet hit the vertex of the ribcage, that's like striking a diamond in the right place. Get this and breaking ribs becomes all the easier."

"The second shot here hit the intestines and stomach. Not an instant-kill wound, but he might die in a minute or two." Ray continued, "Third shot is an instant-kill, hitting him right in the center mass of the face: no shots will be fired as he dies. And this last shot cost him the use of his arm."

_The Derringer is an effective stealth weapon, but it has one fatal flaw._

"A gun that small means you need to get close to your enemy." Sepheria explained, "And you can't carry that much ammunition: two shots and that gun is finished. This is NOT a combat weapon. It's a stealth weapon, but not an effective one in war."

_Team Train counterattacks with the traditional weapon of the Black Cat's trusted partner._

Rinslet opened up what looked like a silver briefcase, then began to customize whatever was inside.

_The Attache Weapons Case: a handheld arsenal that the enemy won't even think is deadly._

AW Case:  
Size: 3ft across  
Weight: 5lbs  
Devices: Smoke Bomb, Grenade Launcher, Machine Gun  
Range: 600ft

"This is the case of Sven Vollfied." Rinslet said, showing off the case, "It's called the AW Case and it's, to you, the over-definition of a James Bond device."

"So, how does one access these many uses?" Lunatic asked.

"These buttons near the handle." Rinslet answered, "You press one and a different device will activate from inside the case. And you can even press them while you're still holding the thing. Sven's personal favorite is the machine gun."

To show exactly what she was talking about, she pressed a button and a submachine gun barrel popped out of the case's side.

_To test the firepower of the AW Case's machine gun, our team heads out to the firing range where Rinslet is given four targets._

Out at the range, a restaurant-type place was set up with three foam dummies with pistols in their grip.

"So, you're in a restaurant, heading for the door, and three guys are coming from the front to mug you." Ray explained, showing Rinslet her objective. "I want you to take them all out with the AW Case's machine gun. But to your left, there's a room and a guy armed with a rifle, ready to pick you off when you get too close."

Ray was right, another dummy appeared to be holding a compact rifle, just a few feet from the door.

"Don't worry about me. I'll take care of them…" Rinslet said, picking up the case and taking her place at a table.

"Okay, you ready, Rin?" TL called. Upon seeing a nod, he began the countdown. "Three…two…one…go."

Rinslet picked up the case, then made her way towards the entrance. When the dummies with pistols began to move towards her via remote-controlled supports, she pressed a switch near the case's handle with her index finger.

The SMG barrel popped out of the end of case and, with another lightning-fast press of the switch, the AW case's gun unleashed a hail of bullets that pelted her "attackers" in the abdomen and thorax, some bullets actually taking off a dummy's limbs or knocking them from their supports.

Rinslet inspected her attackers, but quickly pointed the case end at the room adjacent to the exit and pressed another button with her middle finger. The machine gun barrel vanished back into the case and a small grenade launcher barrel appeared instead. She fired the grenade into the room and with a BANG, it destroyed the rifle-bearer.

"WOO!" Lunatic cheered, "Nice handiwork, Rin."

"That machine gun shooting was pretty slick." TL said, then explained, "We've seen both your guys shoot from the waist, but you were shooting from the knee. VERY interesting shooting. And you also wasted no time firing your grenade."

_After witnessing the power of the AW Case and the Colt Derringer, our experts cannot deny which weapon has the advantage._

"The Derringer is a good stealth weapon, but it's only designed to take out one or two people at a time." Lunatic explained, "The AW Case, we saw it take out multiple targets, and you're packing a gun no one thinks is a gun. Stealth plus firepower equals the more effective weapon."

_The AW Case gives Train Heartnet's gang the edge in Special Weapons._

_But, if either unleashes one weapon, the other side may not have a chance to strike back…_

"If Train is getting a little too mobile for our taste, he's gonna take some of THIS in his face." Meryl said, hefting up a large gun with a unique type of ammo and barrel.

_The Stun Gun: a handheld cannon that fires pulverizing rubber ammo up to ninety feet._

Stun Gun:  
Size: 4ft  
Weight: 10lbs  
Range: 90ft  
Rounds: 6

"This is the Stun Gun." Wolfwood said, holding out a multi-barreled cannon of sorts, "The way it works is that, when it fires, it shoots a propeller-shaped round that spins as it flies through the air. This gives it more chance of hitting a person."

"Because of the wider range?" Lunatic asked.

"Dead on." Wolfwood answered with a nod.

_To test the striking power of the stun gun, Wolfwood will take aim at five targets and will have one shot to knock out as many as he can._

"On my mark…THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!"

Wolfwood pulled the trigger of the Stun Gun and launched what looked like a rocket at first. But an set of four "fins" opened up on the rocket's side, creating a cross-shape spinning as the projectile raced through the air.

When the projectile hit the center target, it knocked the dummy clean to the ground. The other dummies, however, were still standing.

_Though not intended to be lethal, our team measures the forces that the stun gun have put on their target._

"Okay, from what I got, that gun hit with enough force to bruise a rib, maybe even break a few in the process." TL relayed, "But, sadly, this is NOT a lethal weapon. The only way it COULD be lethal would be if it hit someone straight in the head and break the neck."

_Team Train, however, isn't even worried._

"That gun is an okay stunning weapon." Sepheria acknowledged, "But it's too heavy and people will see it coming. Train wields a weapon that can stun more people and you won't even know it's there until it detonates: the flashbang grenade."

_The flashbang grenade: a nasty explosive that can deafen, blind, and allow either escape or an easy kill._

Flashbang Grenade:  
Size: 4in  
Weight: 2lbs  
Range: 15ft

"This is Train's flashbang grenade." Rinslet said, holding out a small, black bomb, "This bomb would create a blinding flash and a loud 'bang'. The flash would blind his enemies while the explosion would disorient the enemy and leave their ears ringing."

"How soon can this thing detonate?" Lunatic asked.

"You just pull the pin and it will detonate in two to three seconds." Rinslet answered.

"Well, we've got the test for you. We have three dummies placed at various distances to test just how effective the flashbang is." TL said, pointing over to a site.

_To test the bang of this grenade, our team takes cover while Rinslet prepares the grenade._

"Rinslet, you ready?" TL called.

"Yup!"

"Three! Two! One! GO!"

Rinslet pulled a ring from the spherical explosive, then lobbed it at the three dummies. The grenade landed in the center of the zone and Rinslet, not wanting to experience the blast firsthand, headed for cover.

Three seconds later…BANG! The grenade went off with a bright flash and a loud 'bang'. Amazingly, the dummies didn't have a scratch on them aside from a small jolt when the grenade detonated.

_Though the dummies appear to have been unscathed, the pressure sensors say differently._

"I put special sensors on each of their heads." TL explained, "And from the readings I got, all three of them have popped eardrums and are probably blind from the flash."

_After testing both teams' stunning weapons, our experts decide who has the slight edge._

"These were NOT lethal weapons." Ray explained, "They were made to stun the enemy and set them up for a kill. But, if I were to choose between the weapons, I'm going with the flashbang grenade. The stun gun can only stun one person at a time, and this is a squad-on-squad fight. More stuns equals more chances of a kill."

_Team Train walks away with the Flashbang Grenade._

_

* * *

_

Our testing is complete. It's now time to find out who is the Deadliest Warrior: Vash the Stampede or Train Heartnet.

_We tested four weapons used by Train's gang: the Hades Revolver, Attache Weapons Case, Fire Chi, and Flashbang Grenade._

_We also tested four weapons of Vash's group: the Mateba Revolver, Colt Derringer, Cross Punisher, and Stun Gun._

_In mid-range weapons, both crossed guns with the Hades and Mateba revolvers._

"In terms of handguns, both Vash and Train were dead-accurate. Both have a form of defense and a way to get around them. So, I can't give the edge to one or the other."

Edge: Tie

_In long-range weapons, the Cross Punisher blew away the Fire Chi._

"The fire chi has some good uses, but the Cross Punisher is an absolute nightmare of a weapon. It has so many weapons and uses that the use of fire can't compare to it."

Edge: Vash

_In special weapons, both gangs unleashed their surprise attacks with the Colt Derringer and the AW Case._

"The Derringer's major weakness is its size, lack of range and the fact that it's only got two shots at most in it before you need another one. The Case, however, is like James Bond's case on steroids: guns, grenades, dozens of gadgets. Add the stealth factor to the fray, you get one lethal weapon."

Edge: Train

_Finally, in stunning weapons, the Stun Gun was blown away by the flashbang grenade._

"The Stun Gun can only stun one person at a time. And since you have to fire one shot at a time, it's too slow and easy to see coming. The flashbang grenade left multiple people blind and deaf, and it's usually too small for most to notice."

Edge: Train

_Lunatic now loads the data into a computer simulation to decide the victor. To prevent a lucky bullet from claiming victory, Lunatic runs the battle a thousand times._

"This program will tell who won, who died, and in what way." Lunatic explained, "All that's left is to fire this up."

With a stroke of a key, the battle was on.

-the fight-

Out in a desert town, a small, lime-green car pulled up on the side of the boardwalk. The doors swung open and out stepped a scruffy man with green hair and a white suit and hat, carrying a silver briefcase of sorts. Not far behind him was a lavender-haired woman with a heart necklace and a jacket with a fur collar.

A black-haired girl with a deep-blue jacket and a miniskirt was the next to emerge. And out of the passenger's seat stepped the man of the hour: the XIII tattoo on his collarbone, his catlike eyes, and his blue jacket.

They were, in order, Sven Vollfied, Rinslet Walker, Kyoko Kirisaki, and Train Heartnet the Black Cat.

Train and his gang headed for a first-class hotel, though they did spot a wanted poster labeled "Wanted: Vash the Stampede. Reward: $$60,000,000,000".

Heartnet: 4

Inside the hotel, however, there were people already settling in, waiting for a room. Sitting at a table, enjoying a coffee was a tall woman with long, chestnut hair and a deep-green overcoat. Waiting at the desk for the bellhop to arrive was a shorter woman with shorter, blue hair and a white coat.

Sitting at a chair, looking bored, was a man with a black suit, lugging around a huge, cross-shaped object wrapped in cloth and bandages. And, sitting at another table, was a man with starchy, blonde hair, golden-brown sunglasses, and a red mantel.

They were, in order "Stungun" Milly Thompson, "Derringer" Meryl Stryfe, Nicholas Wolfwood, and Vash the Stampede.

Vash: 4

As Train's gang entered the hotel, Rinslet was the first to spot the 60-billion double-dollar man. Reaching to her belt, she gripped a Colt M1911 pistol, but hadn't even thought of pulling it out when Vash caught on to her.

Just as Rinslet pulled out her pistol, she didn't even have time to aim when Vash whipped out his Mateba Autorevolver and fired at waist-height. The bullet caught Rinslet full in the chest and sent her to the ground before she even thought of firing.

Heartnet: 3  
Vash: 4

Vash's immediate instinct saved his life, because he dove away from a shot from Train's Hades Revolver. The table he was at got a hole blown in it, but that was the least that happened. The act not only saved his life, it alerted those around him.

Milly turned and saw Train with his pistol out, then took out the surprisingly well-hidden stun gun from her coat and fired a round at the Heartnet gang. Train dove to the left, then aimed while on the ground and fired, hitting Milly in the left side of her chest.

Milly shrieked as she went down, but it halted quickly and a pool of blood began to dye the carpet crimson with her blood.

Heartnet: 3  
Vash: 3

Wolfwood acted quickly, then lugged off the cross-shaped structure, unclipping the belt in the process. The cloth flew off, revealing that the cross was metal, and one twitch of his finger later, the long end of the cross opened up to reveal a machine gun barrel.

Train saw the barrel, then ordered, "EVERYONE TAKE COVER!"

Sven and Kyoko did just that, Sven taking refuge behind a corner and Kyoko diving behind a desk.

And then all HELL broke loose. Wolfwood unleashed a hail of bullets equivalent to the AK series. Walls and tables splintered, vases shattered, and bits of metal were dented in the process. It was a complete frenzy, and in the heat of it, Vash made a run for the nearest door.

Amidst the chaos, Meryl was trying to gun down Sven, but was having no success. Every few shots, she had to hide and obtain another ammo-filled gun. But in that time, Kyoko took advantage of it.

The ex-Apostle whipped around the corner and exhaled, unleashing a torrent of flame at Meryl. Meryl shrieked in agony as her clothes burst into flames, and her body was not far behind. Soon, she collapsed as a smoking corpse.

Heartnet: 3  
Vash: 2

Wolfwood avoided a few shots from Train, then turned his cross so that the short end faced forward and fired a rocket just behind the desk. An explosion mixed with a female scream indicated that the explosion did its job.

Heartnet: 2  
Vash: 2

Wanting to keep an eye on Vash, Wolfwood followed close behind him. But this did not go unnoticed, Train and Sven followed suit. They entered the stairway that Vash and Wolfwood had gone up, but immediately took refuge behind it because Wolfwood barraged them with bullets from above before disappearing into the next door.

Now knowing that the stairs weren't an option, Train and Sven headed for a nearby elevator to the second floor.

Up above, Wolfwood turned the stair corner to see Vash ready to ambush anyone who followed him. Upon seeing it was an ally, he lowered his gun and allowed Wolfwood to approach him. Wolfwood checked his Cross Punisher. Empty, and he had used its only rocket to take out the girl behind the desk. He flipped open the Cross Punisher's rightmost section and revealed six pistols. He took two of these and proceeded to follow in Vash's footsteps, facing behind him.

The elevator behind them suddenly opened up and both Nicholas and Vash turned to open fire, delaying their attackers from entering the hallway.

"Go, Spiky-Head! GO!" Wolfwood ordered.

Vash did so without haste while Wolfwood repelled them with his own firearm.

Sven pressed a button on his trusted AW case, then signaled to Train to go for it. Train took out a small, black hand grenade, removed the pin, then lobbed it down the hallway. Both retreated back into the elevator and shielded their ears and eyes.

While Wolfwood focused on the elevator, he saw something on the floor and had just received the mind's impulse to get away when it went off with a loud BANG. The world went white and every sound was blocked out save a continuous ringing in Wolfwood's ears.

While Wolfwood was trying to get a grip on his senses, Sven took his case, emerged from the elevator, and pressed the switch on his case. A hail of bullets pelted Wolfwood full-on and he dropped, dead, to the ground.

Heartnet: 2  
Vash: 1

Train and Sven stepped over Wolfwood's corpse to see Vash just about to turn a corner. Sven opened fire with the AW Case, several of his machine gun bullets pelting Vash full in the chest, but much to his surprise, Vash managed to roll across the ground and get behind the corner.

Behind said corner, Vash inspected his armor. It had saved him from the bullets as a whole, but he still felt like he had been punched in the gut SEVERAL times by a master of wing-chung. And taking a small amount of time to regain himself, he pointed his Mateba revolver around the corner and fired twice, hitting Sven full in the gut both times.

Sven keeled over with a grunt and lay motionless, his still-open eyes seeing no more.

Heartnet: 1  
Vash: 1

It had all come down to this: bounty hunter vs. outlaw. And right here, right now, only one could emerge alive.

Train turned the corner and was soon faced with a pair of forty-five-cal bullets headed his way. Several quick raises of the Hades Revolver saved his life as the bullets bounced off its Orichalcum surface.

Train fired back, his first shot hitting Vash in the chest plate and doing no real damage to the Human Typhoon. The next bullet, Vash rolled under and returned fire that Train again blocked or just ducked under.

Both suddenly reached the end of the hall and pointed their guns at each other, ready to end this fight once and for all.

Click.

Both had run out of ammunition in their adrenaline-fueled chase.

Vash cursed as he raised his gun, ready to strike Train with it like a club: the classic art of pistol-whipping. Train raised his own gun and blocked the strike before pushing against Vash, backing him into a wall. Both pushed against each other with all their strength and Vash was the first to come with a solution.

Vash adjusted his weight slightly and Train wound up facing the wall. But just as Vash grabbed his shoulders to ram him into the wall, Train put his feet up and scaled the wall before flipping over Vash and kicking him in the back. Vash stumbled into the wall, catching himself with his hands, then brought his elbow back, catching Train in the ribs. He then grabbed Train by the shoulders and shoved him backward before retreating into an empty room that had long been abandoned.

Train took his gun in hand, then loaded three rounds into it. He hoped it would be enough, because the last one to be fired was an Orichalcum bullet. He saw Vash's armor stand up to machine-gun fire, but he wanted to see how well it would hold against this.

In the room, Vash had a similar idea. He had loaded his last three shots into his Mateba revolver and fired just as Train entered the room. Much to his disdain, though, Train had fired at the same time and both bullets met in midair and bounced off in different directions.

Both warriors had just proven their accuracy with their pistols. But whether this was an attempt to kill, insta-defense, or just luck would be anyone's guess.

Both had two bullets now.

Train and Vash circled each other, waiting for an opportune moment. Both their guns were at waist-level for maximum stealth opportunities and the fastest shot one could get.

When both moved, they did as their instincts told them and with both their lightning speed and amazing precision. Vash fired at Train first only to see the Black Cat leap away, landing on a desk and firing his own shot. Vash sidestepped this, too, causing a piece of furniture to splinter in the bullet's wake.

One bullet left for each.

Train jumped down from the desk, then looked his enemy in the eye. This was it: one of them was going to die. Train blocked the only exit this room had; it had ALL come down to this. Whoever got in their next shot in this split-second was going down.

Both drew their guns, but Vash was the first to fire. Everything from there seemed to happen in slow motion. Because everything that happened only happened in a third of a second.

The last bullet from Vash's gun drilled through the air, but when it was just a meter from Train's face, it turned out Train's draw was not offensive, but defensive. The bullet ricocheted off the gun's sleek, black surface.

And just as Vash realized that he had been suckered, the next quarter-second happened. Train adjusted the angle of his gun and fired. The Orichalcum-laced bullet also whistled through the air and Vash only had enough time to see it coming.

The bullet hit him right in the left part of his chest, right at the heart. The hard, metal bullet actually pierced Vash's armor and ran him right through the heart.

He fell, dead, to the ground.

Train spun his smoking gun around his index finger, holstered it, then made his way to the door.

-end-

Winner: Train Heartnet

"Over the course of a thousand battles, Train Heartnet emerged victorious because two members of Vash's gang brought either inefficient weapons or non-lethal ones." Lunatic explained, "That being said, Vash's gang still brought the most efficient weapon, which was the Cross Punisher."

"But even with that factor, these two gunners were neck-and-neck the whole way through."

Vash Kills…  
Mateba Autorevolver:173  
Colt Derringer: 10  
Cross Punisher: 301  
Stun Gun: 0  
All-in-all kills: 483

Train Kills…  
Hades Revolver 180  
Attache Weapons Case: 291  
Fire Chi: 46  
Flashbang Grenade: 0  
All-in-all kills: 517

"The reason, I think, that Train won this match was because he and his other gang members were able to use their weapons swiftly and start shooting before Wolfwood could bring out the Cross Punisher." Ray explained.

"Train's gang got lucky." Wolfwood commented with a smirk, "In a real battle, Vash would annihilate them."

"High-fives for Team Train." Rinslet congratulated, "But why did I have to die first? ANSWER ME, DANGIT!"

(Train twirled his revolver, pointed it at the screen, then fired.)

_With apologies to Trigun fans. This really WAS a close match._

_Next Time…_

_Two warriors of different cultures clash steel as they turn from monster hunting to a one-on-one clash._

_A Claymore: the demon-slaying, silver-eyed warrior woman._

_Versus…_

_A Soul Reaper: the ghost-destroying samurai of Soul Society._

_Stay tuned…_


	19. Claymore vs Soul Reaper

**A Claymore**

(A blonde woman with silver eyes, steel armor, and white clothing underneath took a massive blade and swung it in a wide arc.)

The merciless half-monster slayer who is both revered as a heroine and feared as a monster.

(A Claymore swings her sword down, cleaving a monstrous creature down the center. She then brings it in a one-eighty-degree angle and cuts down three more.)

**A Soul Reaper**

(A young man in a black samurai robe unsheathed a katana, swung it in a vertical strike, then raised it in a defensive pose.)

The elite slayer of evil Hollows and peacekeeper between the worlds of both the living and the dead.

(A Soul Reaper leaps into the air and brings his katana slashing through a Hollow's masked face, then turns and stabs another that was coming behind him.)

_WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?_

_To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first-century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe-to-toe._

_No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is…_

_**The Deadliest Warrior**_

One sound was audible in the fight club: the sound of clanging swords and the grunts emitted whilst swinging them.

_In our high-tech battle zone, we're preparing for a fight to decide who would win between two ruthless slayers of the evil forces._

_A Claymore: the silver-eyed, female fighters who exist only to slay monsters._

_VS…_

_A Soul Reaper: the soul-destroying samurai warriors of the Soul Society._

Claymore…  
Height: 5'8"  
Weight: 145lbs  
Gear: 16lbs  
Armor: Iron plate and regenerative factor

Soul Reaper…  
Height: 5'11"  
Weight: 156lbs  
Gear: 6lbs  
Armor: None

_To help gauge the power of these two slayers, we've assembled an elite team of scientists, doctors, and combat specialists._

A white hedgehog felt the weight of a massive sword; heavier than he had imagined.

_Biomedical engineer and media trace specialist, __**TLSoulDude**__, will run special tests that will show the forces these two warriors will bring to battle._

"In this particular episode, we're pitting two warriors who don't use that many weapons." TL explained, "We're gonna be comparing their moves and X-Factors that could ultimately decide the winning design."

A man with a black beret, a buzz-cut, and a military camo suit stood back to watch the two warriors strut their stuff.

_**Sergeant Reynol **__is a weapons specialist and will analyze the damage that each move and weapon causes._

"This is a personal favorite because 'Claymore' and 'Bleach' are two of my all-time favorite anime/manga. It's REALLY going to be interesting…" Ray said with a grin.

A spiky-haired, redheaded ninja looked over a scan test before moving to another computer and typing in a factor.

_Computer wiz, __**Lunatic the 121**__**st**__, will gather test data and input it in a special computer developed by Slytherine studios. The computer will run the results and create a true-to-life battle to decide who deserves the title of "Deadliest Warrior"._

"Both these warriors wield powerful blades and will want to chop the other into julienne fries if they're given the chance." Lunatic explained, "They'll have a thousand battles to try and come out on top and be the king/queen of the hill."

_Rooting for the soldiers of the shadowy organization are two former Claymores themselves._

A blonde woman in a black full-body suit took a large sword and with an almost playful smirk. This woman's neck-length hair parted at the front and streamed down the sides of her face.

_**Helen **__is an offensive-type Claymore and a former No. 22 in the order. She's known for her tenacity in battle and her swift, strong attacks._

"We're strong, we're fast, and we mean BUSINESS." Helen said with a proud smirk, "By the time the Soul Reaper knows what's going on, he'll be lying on the ground in pieces."

Another woman with similar hair color and wardrobe was actually wielding two heavy swords as though they were light as a feather. This woman had short, almost boyish hair in comparison to Helen's.

_Former No. 15 and a defensive-type Claymore, __**Deneve**__, will demonstrate the abnormal abilities that the Claymores possess._

"Should a Soul Reaper worry about a Claymore?" Deneve asked, "Yes. We're not about to back down from someone who tries to stay invisible."

'_Claymores' are the results of a secret organization dedicated to wiping out a monstrous species called 'yoma'. The Claymores are the only ones who can kill them, because they're the only ones who can see them._

"Yoma are dangerous because they can inhabit human bodies and kill people when they least expect it." Deneve pointed out, "We're the only ones who can sense them even in their human form."

_The way Claymores sense these monsters is due to the organization's grafting of yoma flesh and blood into the bodies of female humans. Males quickly turn into power-hungry monsters, and females are the only ones who can resist the yoma influence for long periods of time._

_As confident as the Claymores are, two other experts place their bets on the warriors of Soul Society: the Soul Reaper._

A teenager with orange hair and black samurai robes took a sword similar to a katana and swung it in a downward swipe.

_Substitute Soul Reaper, __**Ichigo Kurosaki**__, will lead the charge for the Soul Reapers. Ichigo is known for his high spiritual power and is the son of a former Gotei member, Isshin Kurosaki._

"Claymores are just a few chicks who go out and fight the occasional monster." Ichigo said, zanpakuto slung over his shoulder, "Soul Reapers are on constant patrol of both the real world and the afterlife."

A short, teenage girl with shoulder-length black hair took aim at a wooden target, then put her palm forward.

_A member of the Soul Society's noble family, __**Rukia Kuchiki**__, has mastered several forms of the Soul Reaper arts of Kido: the Demon works. Her adoptive brother is a Gotei Captain; Byakuya Kuchiki._

"Every move is going to be precise." Rukia pointed out, clearly, "There is no time for flaw or mistake for a Soul Reaper because failure is NOT an option."

_Beyond the world of the living, pure souls lived in peace while evil spirits known as Hollows run rampant in the world of the living. Soon, the Soul Society was built along with its elite soldiers, the Soul Reapers: spirits with high spirit power and intense focus. And through the centuries, they have slain ghost after ghost…for good reason, too._

"If too many spirits resided in the world of the living, it would cause imbalance to both worlds and will cause them both to collapse on themselves." Rukia informed, "It's a threat on both accounts."

_The Soul Reapers would send earthbound spirits to the Soul Society and purify Hollows so they could finally be at peace. By doing this, the order is kept and the worlds are not in any danger._

_So, what would happen if these master sword-bearers met and fought to the finish?_

"I think that the Claymore's cold-blooded approach to battle and use of killing is going to be so different from what the Soul Reaper is expecting." Ray put out, "And it will be that factor that will give her an edge in this fight."

"I'm betting it all on the Soul Reaper right now." TL disagreed, "The Claymore isn't armored in the right areas to protect herself from the precise and DEADLY strikes of the Soul Reaper."

_In any given battle, a Soul Reaper would carry their most iconic blade…_

Rukia took out a katana of sorts, then took a practice quick-draw, slowing before she hit a foam torso.

_The zanpakuto: thirty inches of pure cutting power, stronger than any katana._

Zanpakuto:  
Size: 30in  
Weight: 3lbs  
Substance: Folded steel, spiritual power

"To a Soul Reaper, their Zanpakuto was EVERYTHING." Rukia explained, "The blade was part of them and they were part of the blade. Their blade contained the Soul Reaper's power; and anyone who disrespected that law? It wasn't unheard of for them to die in the middle of battle."

_A Soul Reaper's Zanpakuto grew stronger as more spiritual power was added to their cutting edge. Great spiritual power resulted in warriors wielding MASSIVE swords._

Ichigo set up a newer target: a set of three kingfishes suspended from the ceiling.

"Great. We've gone from pork chops to fish sticks." Lunatic said with a chuckle.

"What?" Ichigo asked, "Swords like this have already been tested MULTIPLE times on the show. Why not go for something new?"

Lunatic thought it over, then shrugged. "Why not?"

"So, what exactly are you gonna do to these fish?" TL asked, curiously.

"Bring it in a horizontal slash to see how many I can take out in one go." Ichigo answered.

"On my mark, Ichigo." TL called, Ichigo getting into an attack-ready position, "Three…two…one…GO!"

With a roar, Ichigo swung his sword in a horizontal slash. The zanpakuto's diamond-hard edge sheared through the first fish's muscle, spine, and organs like a hot knife through butter. But the blade didn't stop there, it cleaved clean through the second fish in the middle with just as much ease. And, though it did cut the fish on the other side of the formation, it didn't cut all the way through, rather it created a nasty gash.

"Wow…this is sushi-work at its best." Ray said, inspecting the damage done, "You've cleaved through two attackers and heavily wounded another in under a third of a second. And our rule of thumb here is that it takes a quarter-second to perceive something coming at you and another quarter-second to get out of the way."

"So, that's two Claymores?" Rukia asked.

"Yep. I don't think a Claymore will be standing after a wound like this." TL said, showing concern.

"But what will you try if your enemy is ALSO carrying a sword, ready to cleave you in two?" Helen asked.

"Then we'll cut your arm off, your legs out from under you, or just take off your head." Ichigo answered.

_Feeling confident, Ichigo steps up with a new challenge: a ballistics gel body complete with arms, legs, and head._

Ichigo held up the Zanpakuto forward and at an angle: basically, the traditional samurai combat pose. Said full-body gel dummy stood suspended from the ceiling.

"Ready, Ichigo?" TL called.

"Ready!"

"THREE! TWO! ONE! CUT 'EM UP!"

Ichigo pulled back his Zanpakuto, then slammed it down hard on the gel dummy's shoulder. The dummy's arm fell free of the body and with a horizontal swipe from the zanpakuto, everything from the waist down was soon to follow. And one final swipe severed the dummy's head, sending it tumbling across the floor.

All three experts whooped as they watched Ichigo go to town on the dummy. And when he had finished, the team was NOT displeased.

"THIS was what I was waiting for!" TL exclaimed, "THAT was what I wanted a katana test to look like. Whatever you swung that zanpakuto at, you cut through it: bone and muscle alike."

"Very nice, Soul Reapers. Very nice." Helen congratulated, then immediately shot down, "Unfortunately, we use a weapon that does TWICE as much in half the time."

"Wait, what weapon would that be?" Rukia asked, inquisitively.

_The Claymore experts strike back with the weapon that gave them their legendary name._

_The Claymore Sword: at almost five feet long, the blade is as long as a person is tall, ensuring distance in a fight._

Claymore Sword:  
Size: 4.9ft  
Weight: 6lbs  
Substance: Foreign Steel

"This is our signature sword." Deneve explained, showing off one of the largest swords that the experts had ever seen, "I guarantee that one swing of this will end your fighting career FOREVER."

The sword itself was almost as tall as the wielder and had an odd insignia on the centermost part of the blade. The blade itself looked FAR too heavy for most of the experts to wield, not to mention with one hand.

"The sheer size of that sword is NOT something to mess with." Lunatic pointed out, "And, considering you can already hold that thing with one hand, you're adding on to that danger factor."

Rukia and Ichigo clapped their eyes on how easily Deneve could lift and move the sword and they instantly looked at each other, as though saying, "Uh-oh, we're in trouble…"

"So, how about we test our sword on a REAL target?" Helen challenged, "Multiple targets, too."

"Well, we've got just the thing for you." TL said with a grin, then pointed to three pigs suspended from the ceiling in a straight line, "We have THREE pigs, and I want you to do your thing with these pigs. Take them out in as short a time as you can."

"No problem." Helen said, stepping up to the plate.

Helen held her sword at the ready, waiting for the 'go' signal.

"Helen, you ready?" TL called.

"Ready."

"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO FOR IT!"

Helen took her sword, heaving it with one hand as though it were weightless, then brought out a horizontal slash. One second later, the pigs' lower bodies fell to the ground with a splatter, earning excited hoots and cheers from all three experts. Another horizontal slash later, and the pigs' ribcages fell to the floor. And one final slash later, all that remained of the pigs were their hooves.

"There you go." Helen said, nodding in satisfaction, "That's nine Soul Reapers down."

"HOLY CRUD!" Lunatic said, still filled with adrenaline, "I've only seen this ONCE before in the battle of SOLDIER vs. CP9. I have NEVER seen such a more effective weapon for filleting pigs."

"Of course." Deneve responded, "This is not a one-hit-one-kill weapon. This is a one-hit-many-kills weapon."

"Really, it just seems like 'hack and slash' to me." Rukia said with a shrug.

"But isn't that the beauty of this sword?" Ray asked, "If you got GRAZED with that thing, I guarantee you will be SERIOUSLY injured by that attack alone."

"It just seems like a pretty clumsy weapon." Rukia responded.

"Sorry, Miss Kuchiki, but I have to disagree with you." Lunatic said, shaking his head, "Thanks to her inhuman strength, she can move that sword around easily and recover quickly."

"With the numbers we're getting here, I think we'll be seeing a lot of limbs leaving the body." Ray informed, "Can your computer make up for limbs leaving the body?"

"Not yet, but maybe I'll write something in…" Lunatic answered.

_Both swords unleashed multiple-kill ratios, but which blade gives their warrior the edge?_

"When it comes to swords, both impressed me. The zanpakuto managed to cut through two limbs and/or people and manage to severely wound the remaining one." Ray admitted, "But the claymore sword showed that it was capable of killing three people with each swing, maybe even more. I have to give the edge to the claymore sword."

_In close-range weapons, the Claymore takes the edge with her sword._

_But our two champions are claiming to only be taking off the gloves and are preparing to launch attacks with their own special moves._

_

* * *

_

Swift and deadly Soul Reaper versus cold and brutal Claymore; if these two sword-bearers were to fight to the bloody finish, who would remain standing?

"A Soul Reaper only has two purposes." Ichigo explained, "Protect the Soul Society, and purify souls if they're good or bad. If they're not going to cooperate, killing is the only option."

"Claymores were created for one purpose and one only: kill Yoma." Deneve stated, "We kill these Yoma, travel to the next town, and then find out where the next Yoma is and wipe it out, too."

_Both have unleashed their deadly blades, but in battle, both could rely on their own special attacks._

"Did I mention that for warriors like me, the sword's length and arm's length isn't as far as I can go." Helen asked, "By adjusting the yoki energy in me, I can reach even further."

_Body alteration: different in each Claymore, its possibilities are a roll of the dice._

"Thanks to the Yoma infusions, we can adjust their bodies with a single thought." Helen informed, "You can be six feet away, you can be ten feet away, you could even be thirty feet away and I will still get to you."

"And…what exactly can YOU do to aid you in killing something?" Lunatic asked.

"Me? I can do this." Helen threw her arm forward towards a desk. The entire arm extended an extra six feet, her hand wrapped itself around a coffee mug, and she retracted her arm to its original length.

"Okay, so you can stretch your arm." Rukia said, unimpressed, "How will THAT help?"

"How about we take it outside and I show you?" Helen challenged, raising her brow.

_To see just how lethal a Claymore can be, Helen is given three different targets at varying distances._

"Okay, Helen, we have three ballistics gel torsos for you to take a hack at." TL explained out at the range, "One's at ten feet, one's at fifteen, the other's at twenty. I want ONE attack on each target. Understand?"

"Yes, sir." Helen answered with a nod.

After the experts retreated to a safer distance, Helen took her sword in hand and pulled back the weapon, body coiled like a spring.

"On my mark…Three! Two! ONE! CUT IT!"

With a roar, Helen brought her left arm in a horizontal swing at the dummy at ten feet. Her arm extended to close the distance easily and proceeded to behead the dummy with one fell stroke. She pulled back her arm, then thrust it at the dummy fifteen feet away, running it clean through, before she retracted it. Finally, she pulled back her arm and raised it in a horizontal swing at the dummy twenty feet away, almost splitting the dummy in two as she smashed the blade into it.

When Helen retracted her arm, the experts were truly impressed.

"The first strike, I don't even NEED to explain." Ray said, examining the dummies in turn, "A beheaded victim is as dead as one can get. Second strike is the impalement, which broke through ribcage and pierced a lung, actually puncturing out the back."

"But this guy…had he been standing instead of a torso on a platform, I think he would have been cut in two." Ray said, impressed.

_Team Soul Reaper is unwavered by the bloodshed._

"That trick may have looked impressive to most, but I know the truth." Ichigo explained, "If a Soul Reaper can get past that blade or avoid the swing, he'll take the opportunity to take your arm off. And if that was a long-range weapon, then it can't hold a candle to Shakkaho."

_Shakkaho: a simple Kido art that even novice Soul Reapers could wield._

"The art of Shakkaho; the way it works is, you focus your spirit pressure in your hand and then fire it outward." Rukia explained, "And the pro to this is that it can strike from beyond the reach of an extended arm."

"And what kind of damage are we talking about?" Lunatic asked, "If you fire this thing, can it hit with enough force to kill a person?"

"If performed right, this thing can take out a Hollow." Rukia answered.

_To properly test the lethality of the Shakkaho, our team heads outside for safety measures._

"Okay, Rukia, we've got three targets at the same distance as the Claymore targets: one at ten, one at fifteen, and just for you; one at forty feet." TL explained, "I want them ALL out, okay?"

"Yes, sir." Rukia said with a nod.

After the team took a short retreat to a safe distance, TL called over to Rukia, who was now facing the first target with her palm facing forward.

"Okay, Rukia, THREE! TWO! ONE! FIRE!"

"Shakkaho!"

A burst of red light flew from Rukia's hand and struck the first dummy, creating an explosion on impact with its chest. She quickly took aim, repeated the word, and the next dummy got a faceful of the Kido art. Finally, she adjusted her aim and fired at the dummy at forty feet away. In an explosion of smoke, the dummy was barely recognizable.

_Rukia hits each target, but were the blasts enough to destroy these dummies?_

"Okay, first target has a complete compressed ribcage from that one blast." Ray said and, indeed, a dummy's chest had concaved completely. "Next guy is blind and deaf from the blast, MAYBE a broken neck or jaw, so he's been set up for a kill. And the last guy got a hole blown in his guts: he's on the ground and dying a slow and painful death."

"Slow, painful death." Ichigo called over, "How do Claymores like that?"

"Don't worry about us." Deneve answered, "We can recover from wounds that would KILL a normal person."

_We've seen Body Alteration and Demon Arts put to the test, but which art gives their warrior a distinct advantage?_

"The body alteration is good, and so is the Shakkaho, don't get me wrong." Lunatic admitted, "And both have their flaws: both might miss and give the enemy a chance to close the gap and kill the other. But because of a greater distance and being able to keep your weapon ready if you DO miss, I have to give it to the Soul Reaper this time."

_The Soul Reaper gets the edge in long-range assaults._

_

* * *

_

The swift and lethal Soul Reaper, or the brutal and cold Claymore; if these two sword-bearers were to fight, who would live to slay again?

"Claymores fight once a blue moon." Rukia pointed out, "Soul Reapers are on patrol twenty-four-seven and have to be ready for duty when it calls."

"I don't think they're prepared for the sheer WEIGHT of our attacks or our endurance." Deneve explained, "We're going to come for them and they WON'T be able to stop us or even slow us down."

_When it came down to speed or power, Claymores found a way to balance out both fighting styles._

"If there are many yoma in the same area, odds are we'll strike quickly and powerfully, cut you into pieces, and then have a nice day." Helen said, "All they'll see is a silver blur and they're gone."

_The Quickblade: a move perfected by a former #3, it unleashes powerful, blindingly-fast strikes of the sword to cut down the enemy._

"The Quickblade is done by focusing your yoki, or yoma essence, into your arm strength. This allows you to swing your sword and unleash sword combos at extremely high speeds." Helen explained.

"I think that this won't just take down one enemy, it'll take down MANY in the same area." Lunatic suggested.

"It will, but unfortunately, I can't perform this move and neither can Deneve." Helen said, disappointedly, "So, we're bringing someone special in to do it for us."

"Oh, tell me that's who I think it is…" Ray said, expectantly.

_To properly test the Quickblade, Team Claymore brings in one who has mastered using it against her enemies: a former forty-seven named __**Clare**__._

A door swung open as a Claymore with a similar getup to Helen and Deneve entered the Fight Club. This Claymore had shoulder-length blonde hair similar to Helen's, but more neatly-trimmed at the bottom and she looked a little less spunky and more focused.

"Ah, the woman of the hour." Ray said with a smile, "I assume you know why you're here?"

"Yes." Clare said with a nod, "You require an accurate test of the Quickblade?"

"Absolutely and we have just the thing for you." Ray said, then went over to a row of four beef slabs, complete with spines, ribs, and limbs, "We have here four-hundred pounds of beef each, and we have five of these. With the Quickblade, I want to see how fast you can get through these."

_The cow bones are two to three times thicker than human bones: a good stand-in for either an oncoming Yoma…or an unfortunate Soul Reaper._

Clare focused her Yoki energy, her silver eyes turning gold and gaining vertical, catlike slits in the process. The veins in her right arm also bulged, showing even under her skintight sleeve.

"Clare, you ready?" TL called.

"Yes." She said, turning to answer him and startling TL with her look.

"Three! Two! ONE! CUT IT!"

Clare's arm moved so quickly that all the experts saw was a single swipe, but their vision was soon corrected when the first two cows fell to the ground in pieces ranging in number from two to six. In the next strike, the other three cows met a similar fate, falling to the ground in multiple, bloody pieces.

"Holy crud…" Lunatic said, the carnage now over, "You killed five of these guys before we even realized what happened!"

"The cutting power of a Claymore never ceases to amaze me." Ray said, looking over the bloody remnants of the cows. "The fact that they can lift that sword, cut through things even THICKER than a human, AND move it faster than the eye can register is a devastating combo."

"Yes, it's a nice little cutting trick, but it will only work if you HIT the Soul Reaper." Ichigo corrected, "How about I show a move that can get around you AND get you in a place you won't be protected?"

_The Soul Reaper claims to have a move that is even better, and one equally as blinding-fast._

_The Flash-Step: A demon art that allows a Soul Reaper to cross the distance between him and a Hollow…_

_A trip to the firing range will tell just how the Flash Step is used._

"I learned this technique from Yoruichi." Ichigo explained, "It was made as both a stealth attack to get behind the enemy or to make a swift and easy getaway."

"How can you use this as an offensive maneuver?" Lunatic asked, "That Quickblade is going to be a hard act to follow."

"I use it to just get around the blade. Quickblade's only effective if your opponent is right in front of you." Ichigo answered.

_To test Ichigo's speed, our team has set up a pig carcass placed at fifty yards. Ichigo will use one Flash-Step to deliver a deathblow._

"Ichigo, you ready?" TL called.

"READY!"

"Three! Two! One! GO!"

Ichigo took one step forward, but that was all that the experts saw. The next second, Ichigo was behind the pig, zanpakuto in hand and poised to strike. One movement of Ichigo's hand, and the pig's lower body fell to the ground with a slight "thud".

"How was that for fast?" Rukia asked the experts.

"That was fast, I admit it." TL answered, "He was moving just as fast as the Quickblade, maybe a little faster, but really not that much."

"Guess what, Soul Reaper?" Helen asked, "We can run fast, too, and with stamina like ours, we can keep it up, too."

"Like to see you try." Rukia challenged.

_So, between Flash Step and the Quickblade, which speed-based attack gives their warrior an edge?_

"In terms of speed, both were extremely fast." TL stated, "They could easily strike before the other warrior has chance to recognize the threat. But, if I had to choose, I'm going with the thing that has mobility on its side: the Flash Step."

_The Soul Reaper gets the edge this time with the Flash Step._

_But these warriors might have a hard time of taking the other down, and for good reason, too._

_The Soul Reaper Healing Art: used often by medical teams, it could heal the user or his teammates._

"Put away the pig this time." TL stated, "For this test, we're actually going to do it on a live human subject."

_To ensure the safety our team needs, they turn to a professional Soul Reaper medic: __**Captain Retsu Unohana.**_

The doors opened once more to reveal a woman with raven-black hair and a white cloak over her Soul Reaper robes. Her hair was looped over her shoulders, then braided in front of her.

"Captain Unohana, it's an honor to have you on this show." TL said with a formal bow.

"It's an honor to be here, too." Unohana responded with a smile, "I take it you want to see our healing art?"

"First, we need a little bit of backstory for this art." Lunatic explained, "How, exactly, does this art work for a Soul Reaper?"

"Like with the Kido arts, the Healing techniques of Soul Reapers count on the user projecting their spirit energy. But rather than destroying, one has to be calm and use it to either heal wounds or make them less serious." Unohana answered, "But take in mind that not every Soul Reaper can use this technique."

"Okay, then we've got a challenge for this technique." TL explained, "Ray here has gotten a leg injury; got careless in a fight. We want to see how fast it would take a medical Soul Reaper to heal this wound up."

Ray limped in, a bandage on his leg, then took a seat. Unohana leaned in closer to his leg, then slowly unwound the bandage to reveal a gash down the ex-SOLDIER's thigh. She focused her spirit energy into her hand, then held it above the wound.

Ray watched, eyes wide, as the wound slowly began to mend itself. One end of the wound began to seal up, the rest following suit. It was kind of like watching a zipper zip back up.

When the light faded, all that remained of Ray's injury was a slight tear in his camo pants. He stood on his leg and, to his surprise, he could stand on it without any pain.

"Wow…" Ray said with a slight laugh, "Guess I know who to turn to instead of a surgeon."

"Stop flirting, Ray." Lunatic deadpanned, "It will get you NOWHERE."

_The Soul Reaper medical technique is an interesting act, but Team Claymore isn't wavered._

"You need a DOCTOR to heal your wounds?" Helen asked, "That's an even BIGGER hit against your warrior reputation. And as for your technique…can it grow back lost limbs like we can?"

_Defensive-type Claymores pack an enhanced Healing Factor: by channeling their yoki through their bodies, they can repair wounds…and regenerate lost limbs._

"I'm a Defensive-type Claymore." Deneve explained, "You cut my arm off, I'll grow it back. Cut off a leg, I'll grow it back. And even without healing a wound, we can withstand massive trauma that a normal human could never survive."

"Care to demonstrate, Deneve?" Lunatic asked.

"Yes, but one of you will have to injure me." Deneve answered.

_To simulate an attack from a Soul Reaper, Ray takes a ninjato in hand: a sword similar to a katana or zanpakuto…_

Ray took a single ninjato from his desk, taking an attack-ready position. Deneve, on the other hand, had her right arm extended while she braced herself.

"Ray, you ready?" TL called.

"That's the better question for Deneve." Ray suggested.

"GO!"

Reynol stepped forward, raised his sword, then brought it down on Deneve's arm, just above the elbow. As Deneve's severed arm hit the floor, the veins around the stump suddenly began pulsing.

And then the gross stuff happened. Bone suddenly began to rebuild itself into the separate parts of Deneve's arm: forearm, hands, digits, all of them. Just as quickly, muscles began to reform on the bone, complete with blood vessels and tendons. Finally, a layer of skin enveloped the muscle and fingernails grew into their respectful place to finish the job. The only thing that was different was that it was missing a band that used to be on the forearm.

Lunatic looked on, still taking in what he had seen, then finally said, "That's gross."

"But it works, doesn't it?" Helen asked.

"And it was a fairly quick process, too." TL added, "You recovered in just under twelve seconds, which was significantly faster than a Soul Reaper's medical technique: about eight seconds."

"But you won't have twelve seconds to recover." Ichigo shot down, "If we cut your leg off, your head is next. Can Claymores grow back their head?"

"You can't either." Helen shot back, "What's your point?"

_So, which ability gives their warrior the edge?_

"What we saw from the Claymore could spell trouble for the Soul Reaper." Lunatic pointed out, "If a Soul Reaper gets injured, he has to waste his energy trying to find a safe place AND needs longer to heal himself. A Claymore can heal quickly and with less energy. For that, I give it to the Claymore's healing factor."

_The Claymore gets the edge in stamina techniques._

_

* * *

_

Our testing is complete, and now it's time to see who will win between two monster-slayers: a swift and stealthy Soul Reaper against a powerful and adamant Claymore.

_We tested four assets of the Soul Reaper warrior class: the Zanpakuto, Shakkaho, Flash Step, and Medical Technique._

_We also tested four techniques of the Claymore: the Claymore Sword, Body Alteration, Quickblade, and Healing Factor._

_In close-range weapons, our two warriors clashed swords with the Claymore Sword pitted against the Zanpakuto._

"The Zanpakuto is fast and a more than decent cutter. But in terms of range and sheer devastating power, I have to give the edge to the Claymore this time."

Edge: Claymore

_In long-range weapons, both hit their mark with the Claymore's Body Alteration and the Soul Reaper's Shakkaho._

"The Claymore's body alteration LOOKED impressive, but the cutting length was very minimal and it relies entirely on the Claymore still holding her blade. The Shakkaho can be used without a blade and from double the distance from most extended limbs."

Edge: Soul Reaper

_In Special moves, we pitted two lightning-fast moves against each other: the Quickblade and the Flash Step._

"If either of these warriors use their speed-based moves, they could be dead before they even know they've been hit. But in terms of mobility, I'm giving a slight edge to the Flash Step."

Edge: Soul Reaper

_Finally, both warriors proved hard to kill as our experts tested the Soul Reaper healing technique and the Claymore's healing factor._

"Superior speed and requirement of less energy, there's no doubt that the Claymore Healing Factor is greater than the Soul Reaper Medical Art."

Edge: Claymore

_With the battle data complete, Lunatic loads the data into a computer simulation developed by Slytherine Studios to decide the victor. To prevent a lucky blow from snaring defeat, Lunatic simulates the battle a thousand times._

"This will not be the world's strongest Claymore against the world's strongest Soul Reaper." Lunatic explained, "This will be between an average Claymore and an everyday Soul Reaper, for the sake of a fair game."

_It will be a battle of opposites._

_Blinding Speed…_

(A Soul Reaper uses Flash Step, then slashes, cleaving a Hollow clean in two, right down its center.)

_Versus Incredible Power_

(A Claymore swings her sword and cleaves a building pillar in two, along with a Yoma right behind it.)

_All-Out Destruction_

(A Claymore brings her sword in a circular motion, killing all Yoma within eight feet of her.)

_Versus Stunning Precision_

(A Soul Reaper slashes five times, then turns to walk away as five Hollows fall to the ground, dead as doornails.)

Lunatic pressed the 'Enter' key, and the battle simulation was on.

-the fight-

Out in a forest clearing, two warriors emerged from the forest on opposite ends. Each one was a proficient monster slayer, but that was all they had in common.

One was a young man with black hair, black robes, and a white belt around his waist. Strapped to this belt was a katana of sorts. He was none other than the Soul Society's elite warrior: a Soul Reaper.

The warrior on the other side of the clearing, however, was a woman. Her hair was blonde and tied back in a ponytail, her clothes white and she was adorned with silver armor on her shoulders, waist, and legs. Hidden behind a small cape on her back was a massive blade. She was the revered and feared silver-eyed witch; a Claymore.

Both warriors got a good look at each other, then instinctively put a hand on the hilt of their respective swords. The Soul Reaper drew his zanpakuto quickly and had it in the basic samurai fighting pose. The Claymore drew out her own sword with a long grating sound, then kept it at a defensive pose.

Both moved, and the battle had begun.

The Soul Reaper struck first with a downward strike from his zanpakuto only for sparks to fly on contact with the Claymore's blade. He quickly hopped aside as the Claymore counterattacked with a horizontal swing from her sword.

The Soul Reaper narrowly evaded the attack and knew already that he was in trouble. The Claymore's sword was longer than his, so she could strike from beyond his reach. And the fact that it was so big and so heavy added onto the awe that this warrior could wield it with one hand like it was a feather.

The Soul Reaper raised his sword to block a vertical strike from the Claymore, but it was a severe hammer-blow to him. That one strike alone had hit him hard enough to back him up a step.

The Claymore continued her assault, hammering blow upon blow down on the Soul Reaper. But to her surprise, the Claymore jumped backward then put his left hand forward and shouted one word.

"Shakkaho!"

A burst of red energy flew from the Soul Reaper's hand, hitting the Claymore in the shoulder. She backed up a bit and her hand flew to her wound. But one glance up at her enemy put her back in the game, for she raised her sword and blocked a diagonal slice that probably would have torn her in two.

The Claymore countered with a diagonal slash of her own only to see the Soul Reaper retreat backward again and prepare for another Shakkaho. Fortunately, she had learned quickly and pulled back her arm, then threw it forward. Her arm extended like rubber being stretched, and her sword raced at the Soul Reaper like a torpedo.

The Soul Reaper was shocked, but not enough to just let himself get killed. He moved quickly, but the blade itself had grazed his leg and he found himself flat on his back and with a serious leg wound.

The Claymore pulled her arm back, her shoulder wound now healed over, then advanced on the fallen Reaper. She raised her sword to hack him to pieces, but the Soul Reaper acted fast and used his zanpakuto to sever her right leg at the calf level along with injure the left leg.

The Claymore fell to the ground, but used her blade as a crutch to stand up and let herself try to heal. The Soul Reaper saw just how fast the Claymore's right leg was growing back, and knew that at this rate, he would NOT be fit to fight.

He limped behind a boulder, then applied a gentle flow of spirit energy to his hands before touching them to his injured thigh. Slowly, the wound began to mend itself, but it was moving just a little too slow for the battle.

The Claymore had already grown her leg back, good as new despite the fact that her boot was no longer on it. She took her sword up, then moved for the rock, swift as the wind, and caught the Soul Reaper by surprise. He only had time to fall back down, narrowly avoiding a horizontal swipe from the Claymore.

The Soul Reaper rolled to the side as the Claymore chopped downward, embedding her sword in the ground. The Soul Reaper stood, his leg just the slightest bit shaky, then swung with a vertical chop, which the Claymore sidestepped. She pulled her sword out, then tried to cut his legs out from underneath him.

The Soul Reaper, spectacularly, leapt over the sweep and rolled, landing on his back. The Claymore tried another chop only to meet the steel of the zanpakuto with a sharp CLANG.

The Soul Reaper pushed the Claymore's sword away, then rolled to the right, now a safe distance from the Claymore, decided to end the fight right here and right now. The Claymore also had a plan of her own, one that could also end the game here and now.

Right before the Claymore's eyes, the Soul Reaper seemed to vanish, reappearing in front of her with his zanpakuto aimed to impale her.

He froze just as he prepared to thrust, then his knees buckled as he fell to the ground.

His head rolled free of his shoulders. The Claymore, with the Quickblade, had killed him before he even knew he had been hit.

The Claymore looked down on her dead enemy, then sheathed her sword on her back before turning the opposite direction and returning to her travels.

-end-

Winner: Claymore

"The Claymore won because she had a better standard blade than the Soul Reaper. Combined with the fact that she could fight, keep fighting if injured, and recover quickly if a limb was severed, it really was turned in her favor." Lunatic explained.

_Out of a thousand battles, the Claymore won 562 times with the sword that gave her the namesake of the warrior._

Claymore Kills…  
Claymore Sword: 386  
Body Alteration: 64  
Quickblade: 112  
Healing Factor: 0  
All-in-all Kills: 562

_The Soul Reaper won only 438 times. His deadliest weapon was his zanpakuto, but the blade alone wasn't enough to take victory._

Soul Reaper Kills…  
Zanpakuto: 342  
Shakkaho: 43  
Flash Step: 53  
Medical Art: 0  
All-in-all Kills: 438

"The Soul Reaper really was more used to fighting people who, if you cut them, they'd fall down quickly." Ray said, trying to make sense, "The Claymores have fought guys who won't stay down even if you cut them, so they had to kill them in ONE hit to make it count."

"I actually feel like the Organization paid someone to make the Claymore win." TL explained, "I actually feel at risk for proposing that…"

"Was the computer SEXIST or something?" Ichigo asked, "You're lucky we didn't use Shikai or Bankai."

"I will credit Soul Reapers for being powerful swordsmen." Deneve said with a nod, "But for the case of 'Deadliest Warrior', we have prevailed."

(A Claymore walks over a hill, the camera zooming in to catch a fierce glare with her silver eyes.)

_With apologies to Bleach fans…_

_Next Time…_

_Two silent warriors of the night clash in the darkness that hides them from their enemies._

_Gotham's Dark Knight, Batman: the combat-trained, one-man crime-fighting machine._

_Versus…_

_Wakanda's Warrior King, the Black Panther: the Vibranium-wielding slasher of Africa._

_Stay tuned…_


	20. Batman vs Black Panther

**Batman**

(A man in a gray bodysuit, black bat-like mask, and a dark cape performed a series of complex martial arts.)

Gotham's Dark Knight who protects its cities by turning criminals' fear against them.

(Batman breaks through a window and begins fighting a group of drug dealers with his bare fists.)

**Black Panther**

(A man in a black full-bodysuit and mask, yellowish claws and belt, and a cape slashes a few times, then raises a foot for a kick.)

Wakanda's mighty warrior king and one of Africa's greatest protectors.

(Black Panther springs down from a tree, surprising a group of invaders, before tearing them to shreds.)

_WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?_

_To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe-to-toe._

_No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is…_

_**The Deadliest Warrior**_

In the fight club, two groups of people were inspecting a variety of tools and weapons. Close-quarter weapons and special devices were displayed on tables while two experts on each team practiced close-quarter combat that was worlds apart.

_In our Los Angeles fight club, we're preparing for a man-on-man fight between two legendary heroes known for combat skills, close-quarter weapons, and reputation in their respective lands._

_Batman: Gotham's feared and legendary crime fighter._

_VS._

_The Black Panther: Wakanda's vibranium wielding warlord._

Batman:  
Height: 6'  
Weight: 170lbs  
Gear: 6lbs  
Armor: Lightweight power-weave  
Homeland: Gotham  
Alias: Bruce Wayne

Black Panther:  
Height: 6'  
Weight: 165lbs  
Gear: 5lbs  
Armor: Vibranium weave  
Homeland: Wakanda  
Alias: T'Challa

A white hedgehog readied a slow-motion camera, making sure it could capture movement completely.

_Biomedical engineer and Media man, __**TLSoulDude**__, will test the speed and strength of these two warriors._

"Batman and Black Panther are two of my favorite superheroes." TL said, excitedly, "I'm really looking forward to seeing what's gonna happen between these two when they clash."

A man in a black beret and a SOLDIER uniform looked over a set of ballistics gel body parts.

_Biologist and combat expert, __**Sgt. Marcus Reynol**__, will analyze the damage that Bat and Panther will unleash._

"We have one guy who's practiced several martial arts and we have one guy who is using a metal that not even Batman has seen." Ray explained.

A spiky-haired, redheaded ninja typed in a few programs of a computer.

_**Lunatic the 121**__**st**__will gather computer data from the test, and input it into a computer program to ultimately decide the victor._

"These two heroes are separated by two different comic companies and the Atlantic Ocean. This match, outside interspecies battle, is probably one of our more unique battles." Lunatic explained.

_Ultimately, Batman will fight the Black Panther in a duel to the death to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior._

_Both heroes have their allies, who are now rooting for them in the field of battle._

A young man in a red suit, black cape, and green pants took in the feeling of wearing Batman's traditional arm guards.

_Batman's weapons will be wielded by his own apprentice, __**Robin**__. Batman has taught Robin everything he knows, and the Boy Wonder has seen him fight, deduce, and reason in every situation._

"Black Panther stands no chance against Batman." Robin put out, "He can't match Bats in terms of brain, fighting prowess, and the right equipment to take someone down."

A young man in complex-looking blue-and-black suit, and a somewhat-insectoid appearance looked over a bomb with an approving nod.

_As a technology-wielder, __**The Blue Beetle**__ will test the higher-tech weaponry that Batman will bring to the battle._

"When it comes to heroes without powers, Batman is as tough as they come." Beetle explained, "He'll either beat you up with his bare hands, tie you up with his grappling hook, or leave you blind with an explosive. Versatility is a necessity with him."

_Bruce Wayne, aka Batman, was born and raised in the city of Gotham. Gotham has one of the highest criminal activities in the world, and the eight-year-old Bruce fell victim to this crime rate after a trip to the opera. A desperate criminal walked up to him and his parents, shot both his mother and father, and left him alive._

"After that moment, Bruce was not a kid anymore." Blue Beetle explained, "He became tempted by revenge and became engulfed with the will to make sure crime does NOT take over Gotham."

_Bruce left Gotham, and America as a whole, to study and master everything a crime fighter needed: detective skills, economics, technology, and martial arts. Thanks to Bruce Wayne being the head of Wayne Enterprises, a multi-billion dollar corporation, he had enough money to purchase protective armor, weapons, radio, and supercomputers. And to put icing on the proverbial cake, Bruce decided to strike terror into the hearts of criminals by donning the guise of a great bat._

_Our Batman experts are bold, but so is their competition: those putting their money on Africa's Black Panther._

An African-American woman with long, white hair and the garb of an African princess took a bow and pulled at its string.

_African-born member of the mutant group, the X-Men, __**Ororo Munroe**__, is familiar with the Black Panther's weapons. She herself is the king of Wakanda's chosen bride._

"Black Panther is going to win this battle for good reason." Ororo said, leaning on an African spear of sorts, "He has a metal Batman has NEVER encountered before and can't really do anything against."

A well-muscled, blonde man in army-green picked up a spear and took a thrust at a foam torso with it.

_US Army veteran and mixed-martial artist __**Steve Rogers **__has done work in Wakanda and is familiar with the fighting style and culture of Wakanda._

"If you're going to mess with Panther, or with Wakanda in general, you're going to be cut to pieces." Steve stated, "Black Panther won't let you just come in to kill his people or steal his resources. You'll be dead if you even THINK about it."

_The kingdom of Wakanda, located in central Africa, is the world's only location of a rare and virtually-indestructible metal called Vibranium. And after the death of Wakanda's king, T'Chaka, his son T'Challa would go on to protect the kingdom. But it would NOT be an easy path…_

"T'Challa did not just get his 'Black Panther' title just by becoming King of Wakanda." Storm informed, "He had to defeat several of Wakanda's greatest warriors by himself or face death, and then he had to go out into the jungle and consume a heart-shaped herb that could kill him. But since it didn't, he's still here."

_T'Challa donned the Black Panther suit and outfitted himself for battle with vibranium weapons. Due to its special molecular structure, vibranium is virtually indestructible, but in its unrefined state, it could be forged into any weapon. Case and point is the Black Panther's iconic weapons…_

_Vibranium Claw Gauntlets: armed with sharp fingertips, they can slash through even the toughest of armors._

Claw Gauntlets:  
Size: 5in  
Weight: Under 1lb  
Substance: Vibranium

"These are Black Panther's trademark weapons." Steve said, putting one of the gauntlets on his hands, both fitting on his hand like a glove and its fingertips terminated in two-inch claws, "This will SHRED your flesh, cut through metal, cut through anything you want."

"Okay, just the way you flex those things gives them a kind of threatening glimmer." Lunatic said as Steve did…just that.

_To test the lethality of the claw gauntlets, Steve takes aim at a ballistics gel torso with the same density as human flesh._

"Okay, how are you gonna do this?" TL asked.

"Think I'll get him once on the face, a few times on the chest, and finally plunge them into his chest." Steve answered, pointing out each area.

_The team prepares for bloodshed…_

"Steve, you ready?" TL asked.

"Ready."

"THREE! TWO! ONE! SLASH IT!"

Steve pulled back his hand, then slammed it across the dummy's face. The vibranium claws created four deep gashes across the dummy's face, almost shearing through bone in the process. After that slash, Steve had another go and caught the gel torso across the chest, creating four more gashes. And at the final slash, Steve used the claws and used the vibranium claws to basically unzip the gel torso's abdomen.

"Okay, how many things can I talk about here?" Ray said, examining the wound, "The first wound ripped this guy's face open ranging from the side of his jaw all the way to under his nose. This is a slow death, but it might be sped up by the severing of the vein on the neck. And as we know, several wounds in the same area are harder to heal than just one wound because the blood can't get to repairing the area as quickly."

"Next wound is a crippling shot, but it's not a deathblow." Ray explained, "It will cause bleeding, maybe a fractured rib, but it's NOT a kill. THIS wound…" Ray looked at the one across the gut, "THIS is disembowelment at its best. You've spilled this guy's guts, ruptured his intestines. He might be dead in a minute, but he'll be conscious for only a second."

"I also like the speed he used to get into those areas." TL pointed out, "I mean, his hands were blurs and he was able to get those vital places faster than, well, I could react."

_Team Batman sees the carnage, but isn't impressed._

"Yes, that was a nice cutting job, but I have a few things to point out." Robin said, leaning on a chair, "First, Batman will NOT sit there and let you carve him like a turkey. Second, he's got body armor. I want to see the same thing WITH armor on."

_To protect him from injury, Batman wears protective armor-fabric. This fabric can stop a knife and save him from a bullet…provided it's not a straight shot._

_So, to provide a new target, Steve takes aim at a new torso clad in the same armor Batman would wear in battle._

Steve looked over the new torso, now clad in a black chest plate, planning how he would do it.

"You do know that T'Challa isn't just into slashing. He'll plung his claws into you, too." Steve pointed out.

"Bring it on." Blue Beetle challenged.

"Steve, you ready?" TL asked.

"Yes."

"Three! Two! ONE! GO!"

Steve moved quickly, slashing twice at the body armor and, much to Team Batman's surprise, actually put sizeable scars in the armor. Blood was slowly trickling down the slash wounds, but apparently, it wasn't enough to please Team Panther. Steve pulled the claws of his right hand and plunged them into the torso's gut, piercing the armor like a stake. Steve did the same with his left hand, this one embedding itself in the torso's chest.

When Steve pulled the vibranium claws out of the torso, they were dyed red with blood.

"Wow…" Lunatic said in surprise, "You pierced Batman's armor."

Ray went over to the gel torso, then took off the chest plate to inspect the damage. On the dummy were five slash wounds, albeit very thin ones. But there were also ten puncture wounds, five on the right side just under the shoulder, and the other five in the abdomen.

"Okay, these slash wounds are thin and painful, but the slashing power to actually shear through Batman's armor is impressive. But it's nowhere NEAR as impressive as the puncturing power of the thrust." Ray explained, "The first thrust pierced intestines, liver, and had the armor not been there, he probably would have pulled out flesh to maximize damage. The second actually broke through the ribcage and pierce his right lung. If Batman got hit like this, he would be, undoubtedly, down for the count."

"That is if your mighty king can HIT Batman." Blue Beetle countered, "In reality, you probably would have been blocked or avoided thanks to Batman's fighting skill."

"Your guy's got skill?" Storm asked, "So does T'Challa."

"How about I show you a weapon Batman has that can counter your attacks AND do you harm at the same time?" Robin asked.

_Batman's response to the Claw Gauntlets are the Bladed Arm Guards: armed with lethal, blade-like spikes, it also hides a deadly projectile weapon._

Bladed Arm Guards:  
Size: 11in  
Weight: 1lb  
Substance: Power-weave, Steel blades  
Other uses: Spring-loaded blades

"These are Batman's calling cards in times of combat." Robin said, holding up his arm to reveal block arm guards on them, each one adorned with three short blades. "If Batman was fighting an enemy with a sword or bludgeoning weapon, he would use these to disarm them because you can easily hook weapons with these."

"Wow." Lunatic said, feeling the blades, "That's pretty sharp. Any damage you can do?"

"Since these are on the side of the forearm, I can slam them into the enemy to push these blades in." Robin explained, "And they also come in with a surprise attack. These blades are also spring-loaded, so they can fire at your enemy."

"I'd like to see that. And, like Team Panther, you get a fresh target." TL said, showing Robin a new gel torso, "One catch. He's wearing the chest piece of Black Panther's vibranium-cloth mix."

_Like Batman, Black Panther brings armor to the fight. Under his black garb, he wears cloth diffused with vibranium. Can Batman get through it?_

Robin took up a fighting pose, both arms plated with Batman's traditional arm-guards. In front of him was a gel torso with a jacket of sorts coated with a strange, greenish-gold material.

"Robin, you ready?" TL asked.

"Ready!"

"THREE! TWO! ONE! BEAT 'EM UP!"

Robin set to work, swinging his forearm into the torso's chest, actually piercing the cloth armor of the panther. He pulled back out, almost hooking out organs, then slammed his forearm into the gel torso's head, embedding the blades deep into the cranium and neck.

Finally, Robin stepped back and flexed his arm. The blade parts of the gauntlets flew out and the first three cut deep into the torso's face; one actually embedding itself into its neck. The second assault, however, was more in vain. The projectiles hit the cloth armor, but bounced right off. Not enough weight behind them to dig into the cloth armor.

_Batman deals out the fighting skill, but was it enough to take down the Panther?_

"Okay, let's get this cloth off and take a look." Ray said, taking it off, "Wow. That forearm attack did more damage than I thought. It actually pierced the left part of the ribcage just above the heart. That's as close to a kill shot as one can get. But the real deathblow is this wound in the neck."

Ray pointed out the piece of metal lodged in the gel torso's neck and wiggled it out. "A neck wound with this thing is a kill shot. The others were just grazes, but I'm guessing that's what these weapons' primary functions are."

"Yes, they're used to injure in contrast to the arm thrusts." Blue Beetle answered.

"But as effective as those headshots were, the chest shots are all scattered on the ground." Ray said, picking said metal shards off the ground, "These did NOTHING to Black Panther's chest because of the shock-absorbent vibranium-cloth weave."

_Both warriors have battle-tested each other's armor with mixed results. But which weapon gets the edge?_

"So far, we've tested Panther's claws against Batman's armguards." Lunatic explained, "Both have a way to get past the other's armor, but Panther is bringing a strictly-offensive weapon. Batman, on the other hand, is packing something to do a little defense with and he's packing a weapon the Panther probably won't see. For that reason: edge to Batman."

_In close-quarter weapons, Batman takes the edge with his gauntlets._

_But according to both teams, the tension between both teams is beginning to increase.._

"So, your guy's got a metal Bats has never heard of?" Robin asked, "Guess what? He'll find a way around it just like we did your cloth armor. It's worked before and it'll work again."

"Batman isn't prepared for what we've got." Ororo stated, her arms folded, "As we've proven, vibranium weapons can get through his armor and into the vital places necessary to do significant damage."

_Both Batman and Black Panther are technological and scientific geniuses. And both are masters of stealth, and combat skills._

_Batman will launch his attack with the Bladed Armguards, Batarang, Grappling Hook, and Flash Bomb._

_The Black Panther slashes back with the Claw Gauntlet, Wakanda Bow and Arrow, Spear, and Energy Dagger._

_Batman's choice for long-range combat is the iconic Batarang: shaped in his symbol, they can be used as a close-quarter combat knife or thrown as a spinning buzz-saw._

Batarang:  
Size:7in  
Weight: 1lb  
Substance: Steel  
Range: 15ft

"This is the Batarang." Robin said, holding out a bat-shaped hunk of steel, "It may not look efficient, but these can be effective throwing weapons."

"Wow, that's like a pair of knives that you throw." Ray said, feeling the sharpened outer-edge of the wing, "And both wings are so long and heavy that they'll want to keep going after they hit something."

"Let's take this for a throw-test." TL said, "We have three foam torsos, one with vibranium cloth covering the chest. I want you to hit each one with one Batarang, understand?"

"Bring it on." Robin said, accepting the challenge.

_Can the Batarang nail its enemies enough to kill? With Robin throwing, our experts are about to find out._

"GO!"

Robin took the first Bataran and used an overhand throw that sent the batarang spinning through the air. It hit the first dummy dead in the chest, lodging its blade between its ribs.

Robin took a different pose, then lobbed the shuriken at the second dummy like a Frisbee. This one also lodged into the dummy's chest, but lodged the "thumb" point of each wing into the flesh.

Finally, he took the overhand approach again and lobbed the last batarang at the torso with black cloth armor. When the batarang hit, the cloth armor absorbed the blow, reduced the penetration power, and caused the projectile to fall, harmlessly, to the ground.

"I got some bad news, Batman guys." Ray warned, "What we're seeing here may LOOK impressive, but the only one that did any significant damage was the first overhand throw. This would bruise a rib and cause some bleeding if removed, it MIGHT have pierced the lung, but it is still not a deathblow. The second one created a pair of cuts, but they're not deep enough to do significant damage."

"Oh, and here's the last throw." Lunatic said, picking up the last batarang, which had bounced off the armor, "NO mark on this cloth armor whatsoever."

"Nice try, Team Batman. I will admit it's a good injuring weapon, but that's all it is: an injuring weapon." Steve stated, matter-of-factly, "Panther has a weapon that really IS lethal."

_The Black Panther counters the Batarangs with the Wakanda Bow and Arrow: tipped with Vibranium arrowheads, it's used to repel the vicious alien race, the Chitauri._

Wakandan Bow:  
Size: 4ft bow, 15in arrow  
Weight: 3lbs  
Substance: Wood, fiber string, vibranium arrowheads  
Range: 50ft

"Wakandans have had invasion encounters on a regular basis." Ororo explained, "At times, they were armored, like the Chitauri. But with this weapon, these armored enemies never stood a chance."

"How is the range on this thing, Ororo?" TL asked, "We see a lot of bows and arrows on this show."

"A Wakandan warrior can usually fire this thing about sixty feet." Ororo answered, pulling back the string, "It truly is a better weapon than a little throwing weapon."

_Ororo tests her aim on two gel torsos: one bare, the other wearing Batman's chest plate._

"Ororo, you ready?" TL asked.

"Yes." Ororo answered, knocking an arrow.

"Three! Two! One! FIRE!"

Ororo released the arrow, sending it whistling into the first gel torso, burying its vibranium point into the abdomen with piercing force. The arrow had lodged itself in the vertex of the ribcage: the place that would hurt most.

Knocking another arrow, Ororo pulled the string back, then fired at the other torso; the one with Batman's chest plate. The arrow pierced the armor, but from the looks of things, it didn't go very far.

_Two direct hits, but were the blows deadly enough to bring down the Dark Knight?_

"The unarmored guy here is obviously down." Ray said, pulling the arrow out, "This was a direct shot towards the most vulnerable place on the human chest; it's getting the lung and almost hitting the heart along with hitting important arteries. THIS is a kill."

"Batman here, the armor is pierced by this arrow, but I'll have to check underneath…" Ray said, then pulled off the chest plate, "There's a small wound here, but the arrowhead didn't pierce enough to do any significant damage. This is NOT a kill."

"See what's in front of you?" Blue Beetle asked, "You can't hurt us seriously with that weapon."

"Still, it's better than to waste energy throwing something at your enemy." Ororo countered.

_Both warriors' long-range weapons were not very effective against each other's armor, but it's obvious one weapon has an advantage over the other._

"Both warriors' armor repelled the long-range attacks." Lunatic explained, "But because of accuracy and the likeliness of getting a good wound, I have to give the edge to the Wakandan Bow."

_The bow and arrow gives Wakanda's warrior king the edge in long-range weapons._

_

* * *

_

Batman and the Black Panther: two masters of the night who strike terror into those unfortunate enough to run into them. But if these two nocturnal heroes met, who would prevail?

_Our Batman experts believe that the Dark Knight's intellect and vigilante know-how will lead him to victory._

"Batman is superior to the Panther solely because he's been studying everything a hero needs: criminology, martial arts, detective skills, and the like." Robin argued, "What has Black Panther got to counter that?

_But our experts supporting the Panther think that T'Challa's total warrior mentality will make all the difference._

"There's a reason why Wakanda's attackers never came back." Steve explained, "Panther thinks like a warrior and to think he'll back down would be the last thing his enemy would do."

_The Black Panther specializes in hand-to-hand combat, but at times, he will not turn down a traditional Wakandan weapon._

_The Spear: six feet of impaling power that is barbed and tipped with vibranium for maximum damage._

Wakandan Spear  
Size: 6ft  
Weight: 4lbs  
Substance: Wood shaft, vibranium head

"This is the pride and joy of any Wakandan warrior." Steve explained, holding up a long spear tipped with a barbed spearhead, "Its length means you can keep your enemy at a distance. And do I even have to explain the head?"

TL took the spear and inspected the barbs. "Dang, I know what this means. It means that it'll go in quickly, but have a REAL hard time coming out. It'll probably pull out muscle or organs when you take it out."

"And as an added bonus, Wakandans will throw these spears, too." Ororo added, "So, Panther will kill you at forty feet if need be."

_To test the power of the spear in-close, Steve takes aim at a pig carcass complete with blood, organs, and a chest plate similar to Batman._

"Steve, you ready?" TL called.

"Yes, sir!"

"Three! Two! One! STAB IT!"

With a roar, Steve thrust forward with the spear. The result was that the entire spear's head went right through the chest plate and ruptured several organs. And, if one looked close enough, they could see blood slowly spilling out on the floor.

Steve tried to pull his spear back out, but only retracted up to the head. He pushed the spear back in, then pulled back again, earning excited hoots from the experts. He repeated the process until he finally pulled the spear, the barbs dragging out a fragment of the pig's entrails.

"Oh, that is easily the sickest weapon I've seen on this episode to date." Ray said, taking off the chest plate, "He went clean through the armor and straight into the left side where all the best deathblows can be dealt. It went straight through the lung and dragged out muscle and organ tissue."

"You know, cavemen killed things with spears, too." Blue Beetle pointed out, "I have no problem thinking that Batman would find a way to counteract that predictable weapon."

"But we haven't even shown you the projectile power of this spear." Steve countered, "I guarantee you that it'll be better than any other trick Batman has."

_Set with a new pig and chest plate, Steve takes aim at forty feet._

Steve positioned his spear correctly, took a few steps forward, then threw it at the pig carcass like a javelin. The spear whistled through the air, penetrated the chest plate, and stuck in the pig's flesh, causing it to leak blood onto the ground.

"How's that, Ray?" Lunatic asked, "Is that similar damage to the thrust?"

"Pretty much." Ray said, jerking hard to get the spear out, "This is lodged in his GUT this time. That's going to hit intestines, stomach, maybe even the liver. And guess what? No one is going to be alive from this kind of hit. If it hits the leg, he can't walk. Hits an arm, he can't use it."

"That's if you can actually HIT Batman." Robin said, shaking his head, "And if he has his way with you, you'll be on the ground and you won't be able to fight."

_Batman's favored tool to string up criminals is the Grappling Hook: a special-made cable with a distinguishable hook to latch onto ledges…or human flesh._

Grappling Hook:  
Size: 20ft  
Weight: 2lbs  
Substance: Steel cable, titanium hook

"Grappling hooks were first used by the Romans to pull enemy boats closer so they could board them. And later, they were used by spies and vigilantes to help them scale sheer surfaces." Blue Beetle explained, showing the experts a long, silvery-gray chord attached to a blade-like piece of metal. "Batman has a compact version of the tool, and while he may use it for scaling purposes, he'll also use it to tangle his enemies."

"Okay, any favorable ways he could do this?" Lunatic asked.

"He could catch someone around the legs and floor them," Robin answered, "In the gut and pull them back, or he could get it around the neck and strangle them for a while."

_To test the ability of the grappling hook, Robin is given a set of ballistics gel body parts to simulate human flesh._

Robin smirked at the sight of the body parts given to him. There were two legs, a chest, and a torso complete with a head and neck.

"Okay, let's see what you can do, Robin." TL called, "Three! Two! ONE! GO!"

Robin spun the grappling hook over his head, then swung it at the pair of legs. The hook bent around the first leg and embedded its blade into the back of the opposite leg. One flick of Robin's wrist sent the legs to the ground with a splatter.

Robin retrieved his hook, then lobbed it at the chest, the blade hooking into the gel chest just under the ribs. With another flick of Robin's wrist, the torso flew forward, leaking blood as the blade buried itself further into it.

Robin removed the hook again, then lobbed it at the remaining torso. The hook latched onto the dummy's shoulder, but Robin didn't stop there. He looped around the dummy, wrapped the metal chord around its neck, then pulled HARD.

"Okay, Robin, okay." TL said, trying not to laugh, "That's enough…"

Robin backed down, then let out an audible 'whew'. THIS had been a bit of a workout.

"Okay, this first attack was on the back of the left leg." Ray said, looking at the wound it had caused, "You hamstrung this leg; that will lead to severe bleeding, and he can't move that leg anymore. Second one is an interesting shot, it's piercing a lung, but oddly enough, this is not a kill. He might hit his head on something as he falls, but odds are he's still wanting to fight."

"The final shot, you've removed one arm from play and you immediately follow up with a strangle-hold. He was at your mercy at that point." Ray informed.

"Well, it was a nice act, but you're saying your strategy is tying your enemy up." Ororo pointed out, "A single slash might be enough to cut through that rope."

"The point is that Batman will be on top of you BEFORE you can cut it." Blue Beetle corrected.

"If he's that close to the Panther, he'll be shredded before he can come up with a strategy." Steve said, arms folded.

_Grappling hook versus Wakandan Spear? Which weapon gives their hero the edge?_

"The grappling hook is a nifty little tool, but we saw NO kills from it. It can immobilize your enemy, but it is NOT a lethal weapon." Lunatic reasoned, "The Wakandan spear is a devastating weapon. If it hits the chest, it's over. Hit the leg, it's over. Hit the arm, it's over. Wherever it hits, it's going to be the end of the match."

"I have to agree. The grappling hook had promise, but the spear is a lethal weapon in every term of the word." TL agreed, "Edge to the Panther this time."

_In mid-range weapons, the edge goes to Black Panther with the Wakandan Spear._

_But if Batman has his way, the Black Panther may not have the chance to strike…_

_The Bat Bomb: a small, portable explosive that can be attached to any surface, or thrown for more distance._

Bat Bomb:  
Size: 4in  
Weight: 1lb  
Range: 10ft

"The Bat-Bomb has several uses." Robin explained, holding up a small disc-shaped object, "Its power can be reduced to that of a flashbang grenade or that of a frag grenade. That way he can destroy walls or immobilize his enemies, whichever he prefers."

_To safely test the blast strength of the Bat Bomb, our team heads off-site where two different blast sites have been set aside for different measures of the bomb's strength._

"What we've got here are two Bat Bombs with different power settings." TL explained, pointing over to a set of dummies near one bomb and a set of dummies near another. "One bomb has a higher explosive concentration, the other has a fifty-percent decrease. And with one wearing vibranium-cloth armor, we'll be able to tell if you can damage the Panther."

"My best bet is that the frag from this bomb won't even scratch us." Steve said, gesturing to the cloth armor, "I've seen only one blast pierce a slap of vibranium and that was a nuclear explosion."

"But that's not a slab of metal, is it?" Blue Beetle asked, "It's cloth. There are HUGE differences between metal and cloth."

The team cleared the site and donned hardhats and protective goggles, and for a bit more safety, they hid behind bulletproof glass.

"Okay, ready the blast in THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!"

BOOM!

The first Bat Bomb exploded, lacerating the closest torso, and knocking them backward. The next one went off soon after with a notably less-noticeable blast, but was clearly enough to blast one target that was too close.

"The first bomb, I don't think needs any explanation." Ray explained, examining the shredded torsos, "BUT the Vibranium cloth almost seems unscathed."

"Are you KIDDING me?" Robin asked, incredulously.

"Now, hear me out. There ARE other factors that the lesser blast has to show." Ray ordered, "First, it creates a loud 'BANG', that's going to pop eardrums and disorient. Second, it creates a pressure wave. That's like blunt trauma all over your body."

"So, we're a bit sore all over; nothing the Black Panther hasn't dealt with." Steve said with a shrug, "And if he sees that coming at him, he'll be crossing the distance between him and you…" Steve snapped his fingers. "Like THAT."

_The Black Panther's counterattack is with a foot-long close-quarter weapon that turns vibranium into a lethal cutting weapon._

_The Energy Dagger: twelve inches of vibranium charged with electricity that it uses to form a shearing energy blade._

Vibranium Energy Dagger:  
Size: 12in  
Weight: 1lb  
Substance: Vibranium  
Add-on: Energy discharge blade

"This is NOT something Batman would not want to face." Ororo said, holding out a knife with a green-tinted blade, "Looks ordinary at first, but if you hold this switch with your thumb…"

Ororo clicked a button on the handle of the dagger and, immediately, the blade was surrounded by a sea-green coat of energy.

"Ooh…" Lunatic said, watching Ororo move the blade and listening to it hum, "Use the Force…"

"Very funny, Loon." TL said, flatly, "Anyway, we've got just the thing to prove that thing with." TL pointed to a gel torso not too far away, "I want you to go all-out with that dagger, and see if it can get the dummy while it's wearing THIS."

TL pulled out another chest plate of power-weave, then fixed it on the gel torso. Ororo and Steve shook their heads. That armor would NOT hold up against this dagger…

Ororo tossed Steve the dagger and the soldier took up a defensive stance, bouncing in anticipation of attack.

"Steve, you ready?" TL called.

"READY!"

"Three! Two! One! CUT IT UP!"

Steve lunged at the torso, using one hand to seize it by the shoulder, then plunged the energy-laced dagger into the torso's gut. The energy blade sheared right through the body armor, piercing all the way through. Steve removed the knife, then slashed the torso down from the left shoulder to the right hip, creating a red-hot streak in its wake.

After cooling the burning-hot armor with water, emitting a cloud of steam in the process, Ray took the plate off to reveal both a stab and a slash wound surrounded by the all-too-familiar blackness of a burn wound.

"Okay, that smell is going to stay for a while." Ray said, fanning the air, "On business, however, you pierced the armor and the torso in one of the best ways to kill: you ruptured his organs and, guess what? By burning the wound as it cuts into it, you cauterize it, so he can't bleed and heal. He's going to die of failing organs."

"The slash wound is absolutely painful, but thanks to that armor, he got off without a lot of injury. The blade cauterized his wound, so he won't bleed. He can probably still fight; in pain, but he won't die because of this injury."

"If the slash to your torso didn't take you out, Panther would take off your hand or leg instead." Ororo corrected.

_Both warriors' special weapons proved effective against their armored enemies, but which one has the edge?_

"Batman's armor actually limited the moves that Panther can try on him. But the Panther's armor didn't take out several things the Bat Bomb can do." Lunatic explained, "If the shrapnel doesn't kill Panther, the force of the explosion will. If not, it will set him up for the kill, and that's all Batman needs."

_In special weapons, Gotham's Dark Knight gets the edge with his bomb._

_

* * *

_

Our testing is complete, each weapon and defense tested for a showdown between two masters of the night.

_Batman, Black Panther…it's time to discover who is the Deadliest Warrior._

_We tested four weapons from the Black Panther's arsenal: the Claw Gauntlet, Wakandan Bow and Arrow, Spear, and Vibranium Energy Dagger._

_We also tested four of Batman's crime-stopping tools: Bladed Armguards, Batarang, Grappling Hook, and Bat Bomb._

_In close-quarters, both heroes slugged it out with the Claw Gauntlets and Bladed Armguards._

"The Claw Gauntlets were impressive in the fact that they could get through Batman's defenses, but it's strictly-offensive. For the reason of providing defensive capabilities and the spring-loaded blades, I have to give the edge to the armguards."

Edge: Batman

_In long-range weapons, both their weapons didn't prove effective against each other's armor: Batman's Batarangs against Black Panther's Bow and Arrow._

"The Bow and Arrow only made a little hole in Batman's chest plate while the Batarangs did nothing to Panther's cloth armor at all. But due to the slight chance of a kill, greater range, and greater accuracy, I give the edge to the Panther."

Edge: Black Panther

_In mid-range weapons, Black Panther's native spear battled against Batman's grappling hook._

"The Grappling Hook is a multi-functional weapon and can disrupt your enemy, but it is NOT a lethal weapon. One slash might be enough to free the Panther. Because the spear is a devastating blow wherever it hits, I give that the edge."

Edge: Black Panther

_Finally, in special weapons, our teams pitted close-range offense against explosive assault._

"Black Panther's Energy Dagger is only going to work if he closes the distance between him and Batman. But with that Bat Bomb, he may not have that chance. Edge to the Bomb."

Edge: Batman

_With the data complete, Lunatic loads the data into a computer program developed by Slytherine Studios that will ultimately decide the victor. To prevent a lucky blow from snaring defeat, Lunatic will run the battle a thousand times._

_Batman…Black Panther…the battle is on._

With one stroke of the key, the battle between two nighttime champions was on…

-the fight-

On a dark, moonlit night in Africa, the legendary Dark Knight of Gotham stalked through the jungle. His bat-like cape and cowl were prominent to all. Upon entering a clearing, he searched the area. For one reason or another, he couldn't escape the feeling that he was being watched.

He was right. Looking down at him from the trees was a man in a full-black body suit and golden-yellow eyes. THIS was Wakanda's protector and king, the Black Panther. He had just been informed of an intruder, and the one thing Wakandans didn't like was outsiders in their country.

The Panther leapt down from the tree, then set down a spear he had taken with him. He pulled out his Wakandan bow and docked an arrow, pulling back the taut string. He was taking aim when a cloud moved, revealing the bright orb in the sky, and the jungle was illuminated.

Batman looked to his side and saw the man aiming an arrow at him, then sidestepped so barely that the arrow lodged itself in his armor. He felt a slight sting from the arrow actually piercing his armor, but pulled it out. The wound wasn't serious, but he saw the Panther docking another arrow and aiming.

Batman took a batarang from a pouch on his belt, then hurled it at the Panther with an overhand throw. The bat-shaped projectile spun through the air and caught the Panther on the shoulder. But to Batman's confusion, the Batarang had no effect; it bounced off the Panther's shoulder like he had just thrown a paper wad at him.

The Panther ignored the projectile, then fired his next arrow. This one missed Batman completely, but just as he had taken out another arrow, Batman took a grappling hook from his belt, spun it, then lobbed it at the Panther. The chord wrapped around his leg and with a deft tug from the Dark Knight, the Panther fell flat on his back.

Batman pulled at the chord, tugging the Panther closer to him. But the Panther was just within arm's length when the Panther pulled back his hand and, with one swipe, severed the chord like string.

Batman just barely got into a defensive position as Black Panther flipped to his feet and charged with a roar of fury. He pulled back his right hand, then swung at Batman only to see the Dark Knight of Gotham block with his forearm and throw a punch at him. The Wakandan King ducked, then lunged low only to have Batman step back and thrust a kick into him.

Black Panther fell back, but rolled on impact with the ground and was back on his feet in just a split-second. One second later, he was sprinting back at Batman again, then blocked a punch from him, jumped, and landed a kick in Batman's chest.

Batman circled the Panther, who was performing a series of acrobatic leaps, trying to take Batman's attention. After landing from one leap, he reached for his belt and pulled out a twelve-inch dagger.

Panther lunged at Batman again, coming at him with his free hand and claws. Batman sidestepped, then threw a punch at Panther only to see the king roll under him. Panther swung his dagger at Batman's face, and the Caped Crusader ducked so narrowly that the blade sheared off one of the pointed ear-structures from his cowl.

Batman jumped away from another swipe of the dagger, then ran forward and thumped the Panther in the chest with a flying kick. The Panther staggered back, then caught a punch from Batman and delivered a sharp elbow to his face. Batman staggered back, then seized Panther around the forearm when the African warrior tried to slash him with the dagger. Batman tried delivering a punch, but the Panther caught the inside of his forearm and dug his vibranium claws into Batman's gauntlet.

Batman gritted his teeth in pain, then pulled back his head and smashed it into Black Panther's. The stunned Panther then wound up flung over Batman's shoulder and landing on the ground. Batman raised a foot to stomp on him, but the Panther rolled to the left and got back on his feet.

With a roar, the Panther raised his dagger to stab the bat only for Batman to cross his forearms and block Panther at the forearms. One flex of his hand later and the blade-like projections on his left forearm flew forward, one embedding itself in the Panther's shoulder.

Batman took the moment Panther was stunned to punch him in the face, then leaped backward and threw a small sphere at Wakanda's King. The sphere exploded with a loud 'BANG' and the Panther covered his ears, his head now spinning.

Batman took this opportunity to seize Panther by a piece of the vibranium cloth and proceeded to beat him senseless. He punched him in the gut, in the face, anywhere he could do significant damage. He finished his current beating by tossing the Panther, causing him to stumble backward.

The ringing in his ears and momentary blindness gone, Panther took his energy dagger and tried to thrust it into Batman. But his sense of balance still hadn't quite recovered yet, so his aim was a bit off. He missed Batman and all it took was for Batman to catch his arm, twist it, and punch him again and the energy dagger fell to the ground, its greenish glow fading fast.

Batman seized Panther again, raising a knee to strike Panther in the gut. He then raised his arm and brought his elbow smashing down on the Panther's back, sending him to the ground, crouching in pain.

Panther rolled onto his back, coughing as he tried to regain his breath, then saw Batman tower over him and raise a fist to punch him. He seized a chance, pulled back his hand, then plunged his hands into Batman's right pectoral muscle. The pain was enough to cause Batman to grunt in surprise and it also gave Black Panther the time to roll Batman off him.

Once Batman was on the ground, the Panther hurried towards a tree and sprang up its length, using his claws to help him get up. Batman shook off his injury, saw Panther running through the treetops, then took from his belt a spare grappling hook. He used it to latch onto a branch and scale the tree before chasing after the Panther in a chase.

Panther searched the ground, then spotted what he was looking for. He sprang down and soon, Batman was hot on his heels. The Panther picked up the Wakandan spear he had set down, then turned to face Batman.

Batman stopped just in time, for he had almost been impaled. But even when he stopped, Panther was still thrusting the spear at him. Batman evaded one thrust, then two. Finally, he caught the spear just below the head and tried to plant a fist into the Panther, but Panther maneuvered the spear out of his grasp, then smacked the Bat across the face with the spear's shaft.

The next move, Panther spun the spear quickly and caught Batman clean in the chest. The vibranium spearhead went clean through his armor. Blood spurted from both the wound and Batman's mouth as the Dark knight fell backward, the Panther digging the spearhead in deeper to kill him quicker.

Finally, Batman coughed up blood and lay perfectly still. The Dark Knight had been defeated.

The Panther jerked out his spear, along with a few pieces of entrails, then raised his spear into the air and shouted the name of the country he defended.

"WAKANDA! WAKANDA! WAKANDA!"

-end-

Winner: Black Panther

"I ran the simulation a thousand times and found that the Panther emerged victorious with six-hundred and seventy-three victories, compared to Batman's three-hundred and twenty-seven." Lunatic explained, "This was due largely to the fact that Batman was built to disarm his enemies and beat them, but they couldn't get through his armor. The Panther packed all-lethal weapons and was able to punch clean through Batman's body armor."

Black Panther Kills:  
Claw Gauntlet: 95  
Wakandan Bow: 20  
Wakandan Spear: 280  
Energy Dagger: 278  
All-in-all Kills: 673

Batman Kills:  
Armguards: 21  
Batarang: 6  
Grappling Hook: 10  
Bat Bomb: 290  
All-in-all Kills: 327

"Batman is used to fighting criminals whose weapons can't really hurt them, but he really brought the wrong tools to the fight." Ray explained, "If he had brought weapons with the intent on killing, maybe he would have stood a better chance against Wakanda."

"Superior weapons, superior armor…" TL said, making sense of it, "The better man won. I don't care how much you know about fighting or gadgets, you're NOT getting up once you've been cut open."

"The Panther got LUCKY." Robin said, shaking his head and folding his arms.

"I respect Batman." Steve explained, "And I will admit that he probably would have fared against someone else. But in this case, the Black Panther is the Deadliest Warrior."

(Black Panther looks down from a tree, then springs down, claws at the ready.)

_With apologies to Batman fans everywhere._

_(Five bucks for whoever can guess who Ororo and Steve are.)_

_Next time: two of the most evil people to wield firearms cross fire._

_Millennium's Waffen SS: the vampiric shock troopers that threatened to spread war across Europe._

_Cobra Commandos: the ruthless terrorist soldiers who are the driving point of a menacing war machine._

_Stay Tuned…_


	21. Cobra Commando vs Millennium SS

_**Cobra Commandos**_

(A man in blue uniform, marked with the head of a crimson serpent raised a submachine gun up and ready.)

The ruthless driving-force of a nation-wide terrorist organization, who seek to tighten their iron-hard grip on the world.

(A squadron of Cobra Commandos raid a room, ambushing a squad of American soldiers before unleashing a barrage of bullets on them.)

_**Millennium's Waffen SS**_

(A man in Nazi uniform takes his own submachine gun before curling his lips in a snarl, revealing inhuman fangs.)

The death-defying, vampiric Nazis who led the Major's bloody war against all of Europe and fought against two killer organizations.

(A Millennium SS soldier shoots a British soldier with a Mauser before ripping open his throat with his fangs.)

_WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?_

_To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first-century science, we'll find out what happens when the two warriors go toe-to-toe._

_No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is…_

_**The Deadliest Warrior**_

The fight club's weapon arsenal strung a few chords as it was loaded with weapons and donned with symbols that mankind would come to know and hate.

In our LA-based fight club, we've assembled a team of doctors, scientists, and military specialists. All this is to prepare for a battle between two notoriously-ambitious and hated organizations.

Cobra Commandos: the top soldiers of the cold-blooded organization.

_VS…_

_The Millennium SS: a bloody reminder of the savage battleground of WWII._

Cobra Commandos:  
Height: 5'10"  
Weight: 145lbs  
Gear: 6lbs  
Years Active: 1985-Present  
Loyalties: Cobra Commander

Millennium SS:  
Height: 5'11"  
Weight: 152lbs  
Gear: 8lbs  
Years Active: 1945-2000  
Loyalties: The Major

A white hedgehog looked over the damage done by some heavy-duty machine gun, eyes wide in shock.

_Biomedical scientist and computer expert, __**TLSoulDude**__, will gather test data that these two ruthless soldiers will put out._

"What's amazing is that we're bringing in all kinds of devastating weapons: light machine guns, rocket launchers, things that will do damage to any and everything they hit." TL said, excitedly.

A man in camo garbs and a black beret looked over the remains of what might have been the results of a bloody shoot-out.

_Biologist and weapons expert, __**Sergeant Marcus Reynol**__, will inspect the damage that these two hated enemies of world civilization will dish out._

"On one end, we have Cobra Commandos who bring human intelligence and cunning to the fight, and on the other end, the Millennium SS have inhuman ferocity and skills. I'm having a hard time on this one." Sarge Ray explained.

A spiky-haired, redheaded ninja set to work on a special computer program.

_**Lunatic the 121**__**st**__will collect battle data and input it in a computer simulation developed by Slytherine studios._

"In this battle, it's going to be all-out war." Lunatic warned, "There'll be bullets, explosions, and all kinds of destruction. For that reason, we're spending most of our time outside today."

_The computer will create a true-to-life battle scenario between these two warriors. To prevent a lucky bullet or bomb from snaring defeat, the battle will be between five soldiers of each organization. The winner will be the Deadliest Warrior._

A young, well-built military man with a buzz-cut and green camo pants took a submachine gun and took a combat-ready pose with it.

_Testing the weapons of the deadly Cobra organization is a member of the organization responsible for halting their activities, __**Conrad "Duke" Hauser.**_

"Cobra is NOT a force to be taken lightly." Conrad warned, "You think we at GI Joe have it easy? Guess what? Cobra agents could be anywhere at anytime and you wouldn't know it."

A woman with red hair tested to make sure a light machine gun would work properly. From a good-sounding click, she nodded in satisfaction.

_Also fighting for the fearsome Cobra is a GI Joe Intelligence Specialist, __**Shana "Scarlett" O'Hara.**_

"The difference between Cobra and Millennium is that the latter of the two went out of power." Shana said, arms folded, "Cobra's still here and ready to do damage at any given time."

_Cobra was founded when the man who would become Cobra Commander saved a small town in the United States. After just a few years, the town's hero swiftly rose in power and fame. In the height of his success, he attracted people with similar goals to his own: overthrow government and conquer the world._

"The type of people that Cobra attracted were renegades, rebels, people who wanted more, and people who wanted nothing more than to serve him." Duke explained, "It's a terrible ordeal."

_With massive amounts of money and armies of soldiers at their disposal, the Cobra organization would either halt attempts to put their leader behind bars and kill any who stood against them. And thanks to their agents roaming cities worldwide and even working in government facilities, they will guarantee to have the best weapons available._

_But two experts are placing their money on Cobra's newest speed bump: the bloodthirsty Nazi remnant known as Millennium's Waffen SS._

A woman with tan skin, platinum-blonde hair, spectacles, and a formal-looking suit took up a pistol before taking practice-aim.

_Head of the Hellsing organization that played part in wiping out Millennium, __**Lady Integra Hellsing**__, will test the deadly weapons that brought the bloodshed._

"Millennium's troops were born and bred to do nothing but slay their enemies." Integra informed, sternly, "They're like a plague of blood-sucking locusts: they'll leave only corpses in their wake."

Another woman with a duster, sunglasses, and short, dirty-blonde hair cocked a mechanism on a light machine gun.

_A member of the Iscariot Vatican Mercenary Group, __**Heinkel Wolfe**__, has seen first-hand what Millennium is capable of. She herself has a fair share of scars from the battle._

"Millennium was perhaps THE most dangerous force to fight." Heinkel stated, "They would only stop when they were killed, would kill anything with a heartbeat, and stop for no one except their superiors."

_First created before the end of World War II, Millennium was designed to try and create an army of supernatural beings. Using extracts of Mina Harker, Dracula's first victim, and injecting it into soldiers, they were able to create artificial vampires._

"Normally, one becomes a vampire after death." Integra explained, "But to save time, Millennium created 'fake' vampires in that they aren't remotely as strong as most, but still an astonishingly-strong force."

_After the war, Nazi remnants, including a former SS simply known as "The Major", found refuge in South America. Then, after more than fifty years in hiding, they raged a bloody battle against England, killing all who dared resist them._

_But in a head-to-head battle, which organization's elite troops will topple the other?_

"Millennium SS all the way." Reynol stated, clearly and confidently, "When I think of them, I think of guys who are inhuman, vicious, and near-impossible to stop. That's where I'm putting my money."

"Cobra Commandos are better organized, better funded, and better trained." Lunatic disagreed, counting a few things off on his fingers, "I think those three factors are what's going to sway the match in their favor."

_When it came to dishing out death, both Cobra and Millennium's elite troops preferred one weapon: spraying submachine guns._

_A Millennium SS's preferred choice was…the StG-44: the last line of guns made in the Nazi arsenal, capable of killing at almost a thousand feet._

StG-44:  
Size: 3ft  
Weight: 11.5lbs  
Ammo: 7.92x33 Kurz  
Rounds: 30  
RPM: 600  
Range: 990ft

"For the Millennium SS, there was no better assault weapon than the StG-44." Wolfe said, holding up the rifle, "It was Nazi weapons at their best in terms of firepower and range."

_But Cobra also comes in with its own machine of death…the HK MP5: manufactured in the same country, and with modern-day technology._

HK MP5:  
Size: 2.5ft  
Weight: 6lbs  
Ammo: 9x19mm  
Rounds: 32  
RPM: 800  
Range: 660ft

"They can brag about their Nazi weapons all they like." Duke said, indifferently, "In terms of firing rate and ease to carry, nothing's better than the MP5."

_To settle the debate between the two organizations' top guns, our team heads out to the firing range._

"So, this is the StG…" Ray said, taking hold of it, "This feels so similar to many other assault rifles."

"That's because this was a revolutionary weapon." Lady Hellsing confirmed, "After this gun, assault rifles began to gain a similar design to it from the AK to the M-series." She then took a bullet from her pocket and handed it to Lunatic. "THIS is what the gun fires: 7.92mm bullets."

"And what about Cobra, Duke?" Lunatic asked.

"This is the HK MP5." Duke said, handing him the submachine gun, "Made in Germany, and like most modern German arms," he stressed the term 'modern', "It's very lightweight and compact, so you can maneuver it in tight spaces. Here." He said, holding out the gun.

Ray took the weapon then peered down the sights, like he was going to kill something. "Wow, that's a lot lighter than I expected. It's almost half the weight of that StG."

"Weight doesn't matter." Wolfe said, shaking her head, "Killing people quickly and decisively matters. By the time you're close enough to shoot a Millennium SS, you'll have your head blown off."

"Well, we've got the thing to test your weapons on: a battle scenario." TL challenged.

Out at the firing range, several dummies stood in two different scenarios, wearing both organizations' uniforms. Five dummies were wearing the grim green Nazi clothing of Millennium's elite troops while five others were wearing blue uniforms with the red serpent of Cobra emblazoned on their chests. Three were clustered together while the other two were acting as lookouts. As one catch, one guard was on the ground: the other was on a platform that acted as sort of a catwalk.

"We've got five Millennium troops and five Cobra troops. You'll have one clip and thirty rounds each to wipe out the enemy." TL explained, "Wolfe, you go first. Duke, you're second. Understand?"

"Yes, sir." Both confirmed.

_First up, the StG-44…_

Heinkel Wolfe slipped on a pair of sunglasses, then loaded a fresh clip into her submachine gun. Already, she was taking aim at the first dummy: the guard on the ground.

"On my mark…THREE! TWO! ONE! FIRE!"

Wolfe pulled the trigger of her SMG and barraged the first lookout, the one on the ground, with a hail of bullets. Moving in, she aimed upward at the catwalk and nailed the other guard dummy with four rounds. And with just three more steps, she pointed the barrel of her StG-44 at the remaining three dummies and in short, four-round bursts, nailed each one until her clip ran dry.

"Alright!" Lunatic cheered, "That's bringin' the bloodshed for ya!"

The team of experts went in to inspect the damage, bringing down the dummy from the catwalk first.

"This is impressive shooting: she's aiming at him from underneath him, but still managed several good hits. First shot hit in the thigh, but then she hit him in the pelvic region: that's a crippling blow at best." Ray explained, then pointed at a set of holes, "This one here is actually hitting the abdomen and going into the vital organs; stomach, liver, intestines. These shots, in combination, mean this guy is down for the count."

Heading downstairs, they found the second guard and found his wounds a lot more different.

"These are better-placed shots than last time." Ray said, on a positive note, "This guy is dead. Most of the wounds are in his chest, hitting lungs, heart, and spine, another is in his face. He's dead five times before he even hits the ground. And as for these three…" Ray went and did a quick inspect, "Two of these guys just had their brains blown out; had that not happened, these chest wounds would have killed them. And as for the last guy, he's lost the use of an arm and got a bullet wound in his abdomen. He's actually still alive."

"Alive?" Duke asked, "That spells trouble, doesn't it?"

"Not really." Ray answered, "What happened here is that this guy is immobile, has watched his allies get slaughtered, and he's completely at his attacker's mercy. No one's going to save him now."

"But, how's that going to happen if his enemy's clip is dry?" Scarlett asked, brow raised.

"Simple, really." Integra answered, "A Millennium SS would just rip his throat out or just shoot him with a different gun."

_Team Millennium's act with the StG-44 is a hard act to follow. Can Team Cobra match them with the MP5?_

Duke loaded a fresh clip into an MP5, then extended the collapsible stock before taking aim. His situation was the same as Wolfe's: two guards, one on the ground and one on a catwalk, and three targets under the catwalk.

"Duke, on my mark…Three! Two! One! GO!"

Duke moved in, then aimed up at the guard on the catwalk and opened fire. After feeling it was dead enough, he moved in closer and hailed the ground guard with another barrage of bullets. And moving in, he went hog-wild on the last three dummies, firing as many bullets as he could at the target masses until his gun clicked empty.

_The MP5 unloads its magazine quicker, but did it kill all of its targets?_

"Okay, the first thing I notice is that this guy has been peppered all across his lower body." Ray said, inspecting the upper guard, "His legs are pumped along with the area just above his hip. This is a kill."

Moving back down, Ray noticed a much more devastating fate for the lower guard. "THIS is almost a total bloodbath: he's got bullets in his head, his neck, and his chest area. This is a kill in every sense of the word."

"Okay, he's taken out both guards, but has he taken out the most important part?" Lunatic asked, "Did he take out the guys inside? Can any fight back?"

The team inspected the three dummies. "Okay, one guy is definitely down for the count. A bullet went in through his cheekbone and exited out the back of his skull. Dead." Ray explained, "One guy here has been grazed on the side here, and lost use of an arm. But the last guy…seems completely unscathed."

"What?" Duke asked in disbelief.

"Sad, but true, Duke." TL said, looking over one of the dummies, "This guy doesn't have a mark on him. Looks like you got a little careless with that gun."

"So, the results for both teams are: four guys dead and one guy helpless for Team Millennium, three guys down, one wounded, and one unhurt for Team Cobra." Lunatic summed up.

"It's all because you didn't pick your targets and got too into using that submachine gun." Integra said, shaking her head, "And you have to get in much closer to use that gun. A Millennium SS will keep his distance."

_Both teams have dished out death. And now our experts debate on which weapon gets the edge._

"The MP5 has a faster rate of fire and is a little lighter to carry, but those didn't really help in the big picture. The StG-44, on the other hand, can shoot more accurately and it hits with more stopping power." Lunatic explained, "Edge to Millennium's SS."

_In mid-range weapons, the edge goes to Millennium's elite troops._

_

* * *

_

Cobra Commandos, or Millennium's Waffen SS? If these two elite soldiers from the world's most hated adversaries clashed, which one would overthrow the other?

_Our Cobra experts believe that the organization's intelligence, recon abilities, and state-of-the-art weaponry will be dishing out death._

"Cobra is renowned for stealth." Scarlett stated, "They could be your next-door neighbor and you wouldn't be able to tell they were part of a nation-wide organization bent on world domination. And Cobra has weapons that the Nazis could only dream of."

_But the supporters of the Nazi vampire group believe that Millennium's bloodthirsty, inhuman mindset will be the one element that separates the two._

"Vampires don't show mercy." Lady Hellsing said, a cigar in her hand, "Their aim is inhuman, meaning they will kill you from a distance, even when you think you're safe."

_The Millennium Waffen SS bring to the battle the StG-44 submachine gun, MG 42 light machine gun, Mauser C96 pistol, and the Panzerfaust rocket launcher._

_Cobra Commandos will return fire with the HK MP5 submachine gun, FN MAG light machine gun, Glock 18 pistol, and the RPG-7 Rocket Launcher._

_When it came to hitting from a distance, both of these villains would strike with a deadly, rapid-fire death-machine._

"By the time you realize that you're going up against Cobra, they'll have sprayed you down with one of these bad boys." Scarlett said, hefting up a light machine gun, "THIS is none other than the FN MAG."

_The FN MAG: direct from Belgium, it's been catapulting bullets for more than fifty years and in eighty different countries._

FN MAG:  
Size: 4ft  
Weight: 26lbs  
Ammo: 7.62x51mm NATO  
Rounds: 250  
RPM: 1000  
Range: 2640ft

_But Millennium had its own deadly machine gun: one that has gone down in military history since WWII…_

"So, you can hit us from afar. I guarantee you that Millennium will hit you from an even greater distance." Lady Hellsing countered, holding up a different gun.

_The MG 42: a WWII weapon so feared by Nazi enemies, they gave it the fear-inducing nickname, "Hitler's Buzz-Saw"._

MG 42  
Size: 44in  
Weight: 25.5lbs  
Ammo: 8.57mm IS  
Rounds: 250  
RPM: 1200  
Range: 3300ft

"Oh, great…" Reynol said, looking at what Integra and Scarlett were packing, "I had no idea what we were going to see on this show. What exactly are these two guns' reputations?"

"The MAG is used by just about everyone." Scarlett said, showing off the FN MAG, "It's used by Israel, Belgium, Australia, and even American soldiers. So, by getting guys behind the top militaries, Cobra was able to obtain these guns."

"Do I have to remind you that this is not a popularity contest?" Integra asked, brow raised, "Most American soldiers have been trained to recognize the sound this thing makes when it's fired. It's not popular, it's FEARED, and for good reason, too."

"Any problems with your guns that these soldiers needed to be aware of?" TL asked, curiously.

"The problem with this gun is that, if the barrel overheats, you need to replace it." Integra said, opening the gun up and showing how the barrel could be removed, "But this is a fast act to perform: five to six seconds. And you don't have to do this often."

"And the MAG?" Lunatic asked.

"It won't really jam, but it's more often used as a mount on either a vehicle or on steady ground." Scarlett answered.

"Well, we've got one way to prove whose enemy has the better gun for the job." TL said, pointing out to the range.

Said range had foam dummies on remote-controlled machines along with walls to act as obstacles. Attached to each dummy's neck was a patch designed to explode if it was struck the right way, and the range also had a set of obstacles: car, walls, steel drums, anything common on the streets.

"We have moving targets, obstacles to get past, and charges will act as mortar fire that could obscure your vision. You'll each have two-hundred fifty rounds in the feed and have that much time to kill your targets." TL explained, "Team Cobra, you're up first."

Scarlett hunkered down, flat out on her belly, with the FN MAG and loaded in the ammo belt. When it was ready for action, she pressed the butt of the gun against her right shoulder and peered down the sights of the gun.

"Scarlett, you ready?" TL called.

"Yes!"

"Three…two…one…FIRE AWAY!" TL ordered.

On just the first pull of the trigger, Scarlett's FN MAG fired a five-round burst of bullets at the targets. Granted, a few missed their intended target and scarred either the walls or the landscape, others hit their target, dotting the foam torso bullet holes.

Upon adjusting her sights and barraging another torso with a hail of bullets, the explosive pack attached to a dummy's neck went off from a direct hit. Scarlett had just began fire again when an explosive charge went off on the ground, kicking up a cloud of smoke. Scarlett halted fire, then continued when the dust settled a bit.

Another round of fire caused another of the explosive patches on the dummy to burst with a "bang". Then, suddenly, in the midst of fire, Scarlett's gun stopped gun had jammed. Scarlett groaned, then set to work trying to find the problem. Ammo transfer: one of the bullets had gotten stuck from the belt and halted fire.

_The gun is deadly, but a single jam requires immediate attention and vital seconds to fix._

After Scarlett fixed the problem, she immediately set back to work; pelting every remaining dummy with lead.

"Nice handiwork, Scarlett. All dummies are riddled, but let's see what kind of damage you did to one target..." Ray congratulated.

After a quick look-over, Ray found something. "Wow. This guy's chest is dyed red with his own blood. You've riddled the most important parts: ribs, lungs, heart, and liver. You hit them all." Ray went to another dummy that was missing its head. "This was due to the explosive tag, but you hit him in the neck; throat, spine, he's deader than dead now."

_The MAG brings the bloodshed, but our experts show worry over one flaw..._

"I didn't like that jam, though." TL said, shaking his head, "If that happened in battle, that battle would be your last."

"Still, that was only one time." Duke countered, "Most other cheap guns would jam more times. I'd be happier with a gun that jams rarely than one that jams all the time."

"Point made." Lunatic said with a nod, "Hard act to follow, Team Millennium. Can you counter that?"

"Absolutely." Lady Hellsing said, hefting up the infamous MG-42, "I guarantee you, I won't face those same problems."

_Can the MG-42 match the FN-MAG in terms of reliability and firepower?_

Lady Hellsing, facing a similar test ground as Team Cobra, inserted a belt feed to "Hitler's Buzz-Saw" and took aim.

"Integra, you ready?" TL called.

"Ready!"

"THREE! TWO! ONE! OPEN-FIRE!"

The minute Integra pulled the trigger of the machine gun, it unleashed hell. The gun not only unleashed a faster rate of fire, but created a unique sound in comparison to the MAG.

_US Troops in World War II had to be able to identify this gun by sound alone. Seeing it would mean certain death._

The rain of bullets pelted the dummies one by one, but with a few nasty edges. A few more explosive tags went off than with the former team's gun: three in comparison to Team Cobra's one.

BAM!

An explosive charge simulating mortar fire went off, kicking up dust. But the head of Hellsing maintained fire, shooting straight through it. When a dummy emerged from behind the cloud, it was covered in blood.

Integra stopped fire, then pulled a latch and removed the barrel inside. Taking a spare barrel from a small box to her right, she inserted the cooler barrel into the latch and put it back into the gun.

_Continuous fire from the MG-42 results in an overheating barrel. But unlike Cobra's MAG, this matter takes a much shorter time: six to seven seconds._

More than a hundred bullets later, Lady Hellsing's gun clicked empty. Her job was done, so she hefted the gun up.

"Nice shootin', Lady." Lunatic congratulated, "We clocked the firepower at twelve-hundred rounds per minute. That's two hundred RPM faster than the MAG, but rapid-fire was Cobra's downfall with their submachine gun. Is this the same?"

Out on the killzone, Ray looked over the dummies used in the test. Most of them, he noticed, didn't have a head left.

"Wow, this is a bloodbath in every sense of the word." Ray said, gesturing to one dummy that still had its head, "Even though you didn't hit the patch here, you pelted this guy full in the face; an insta-kill right there and then." Ray pointed out three bullets ranging from the cheekbone to the center mass of the face.

"But if that headshot didn't hit, he'd be riddled from his chest cavity all the way down to the intestines." Ray said, gesturing down to a grouping of bullets on another dummy.

_The MG-42 shows its lethality on the battlefield, but does it deserve its buzz-saw reputation? High-speed footage shows the accuracy behind the machine of death..._

"I didn't think they were going to be THAT accurate with this weapon." TL said, watching the footage, "Even with that dust cloud in your way, you knew where the target was and were still able to deliver death."

"We saw you doing something that stalled your fire." Duke pointed out, "What was that all about?"

"A little overheating of the barrel, that's all." Heinkel explained, "If the barrel overheats, just replace it. It takes no time to replace the barrel while it takes strenuous time for you to fix your gun when it jams."

"Our gun only jammed once." Scarlett corrected.

"And we only stopped firing once." Integra countered, "You have nothing on us there."

_Both machine guns live up to their respective reputations. But which one gets the edge?_

"We saw some nasty killing tools today with these machine guns." Ray explained, "But because of a further range, higher rate of fire, and less time required if your gun does jam, I have to give my edge to Hitler's Buzz-Saw itself, the MG-42."

_In long-range weapons, Millennium's SS gets a deadly edge._

_

* * *

_

In our LA-based fight club, a duel to the death between two lethal enemies is brewing. The challenge: if a squadron of Cobra Commandos fought a legion of Millennium's SS, who would win?

_Two experts believe that Cobra's elite training and state-of-the-art weaponry will be the deciding factor._

"Cobra had the best of everything they could get their hands on. And they didn't just bank on good weapons." Duke explained, "They used inhuman methods to make their soldiers strong: brutalize them, drill them long and hard, and hone their accuracy with a gun to the point that they could be considered inhuman. Cobra uses inhuman enemies to their advantage: it makes their enemies fear them."

_On the other hand, two people believe that Millennium's elite have already attained the inhuman factor and added onto it._

"Millennium's troops don't need rigorous training to make them cold-blooded and deadly." Heinkel stated, "The minute that vampire blood was added to their system, they only need wait until their humanity broke down. Once that happened, nothing would stop them, and they wouldn't back down from anything, even death itself."

_When both had to maneuver in tight places or if their primary arms were out of the picture, they wielded their own lethal side-arm._

_Millennium's side-arm of choice was the Mauser C96: with twenty rounds in its magazine, its stamina made it a favorite of the Nazis._

Mauser C96:  
Size: 12in  
Weight: 1lb  
Ammo: 9mm  
Rounds: 20  
Range: 165ft  
Options: Full Auto

"The Mauser was the last thing many a soldier saw during World War II." Lady Hellsing said, showing off a pistol with a long, skinny barrel, an ammo cartridge just in front of the trigger, and a wooden handle with a number 9 emblazoned on it.

"I admire this gun." TL said, taking the gun, "The handgun that can go full auto."

"That's right." Heinkel said with a nod, "One slight adjustment and it will kill whatever you point it at."

_Cobra also packs a lethal, fully-automatic handgun; one they say is more accurate, more modern, and with more rounds._

_The Glock 18: the automatic handgun of the modern day, carrying up to more than thirty rounds._

Glock 18  
Size: 10in  
Weight: 1lbs  
Ammo: 9mm  
Rounds: 33  
Range: 181ft  
Options: Full Auto

"The difference between the Mauser and this gun here," Duke said holding out a jet-black, modern-looking pistol with an extended mag, "is that this has more stamina, it's not an antique, and its full-auto is a lot easier to control. There's a reason it went out of production."

_Both sidearms can be fitted with a stock to ease rapid-fire. But in a head-to-head test, which gun is the better combat-efficient weapon?_

Out on the firing range were a pair of obstacle courses: three simulated rooms end-to-end with foam targets set up in various places in the course. Some had a green swastika emblazoned on their chests, while others bore the mark of a crimson serpent.

"Mauser vs. Glock, we've got the best test for you two. You're going to use full auto features throughout this obstacle course." TL instructed, "Green is Cobra's targets, red is Millennium's. Heinkel, you go first with the Mauser."

Heinkel loaded a fresh clip of bullets into the Mauser C96, then attached the detachable stock and took a firm hold on it.

"On my mark...three...two...one...GO!"

Heinkel rushed forward, kicking down the door, then nailed the dummy in front of her with a rain of bullets. However, the Mauser's full-auto had so much kick that she struggled to keep it straight.

Still, it buzzed down the dummy's center, going from his gut to his neck. And Heinkel was more than satisfied with that fact.

Moving on, she swung the next door open and pelted the next dummy with a barrage of bullets. Again, the full-auto was a tad difficult to control and just as she was sure that the dummy was dead, her gun clicked empty.

Heinkel emitted a curse in German, then set to the task of reloading her gun. She had to open up a latch on top, insert a new belt of bullets, and then flip it closed again. After switching it back to full auto, she was ready to roll again.

_The Mauser's full-automatic fire is deadly, but its flaws show in our test: hard-to-control full-auto and a prolonged reload._

Heinkel burst through the last door, pointed her Mauser at the dummy, then unleashed a two-second burst of bullets at it.

"Nice work, Heinkel. Each of these guys was the same way: hit him in the gut, then climbed up to their chests." TL said, inspecting the bullet patterns.

"It does worry me, though, that when you use up your ammo, you take a painfully-long time to reload." Scarlett pointed out, "With our gun, we don't struggle as much."

"Still, I killed two of your comrades before you killed me." Heinkel countered.

_Now, it's Team Cobra's turn to unleash their handgun: the Glock 18..._

Duke put a stamina-based clip into his Glock, then fixated his own stock into the gun handle.

"On my mark." TL called, "Three...two...one...GO!"

Duke burst into the first room, then pumped the first Millennium stand-in with a hail of bullets. However, unlike the Mauser, whose full-auto bucked like a mad bull, the Glock's seemed a bit smoother.

After feeling content with his handiwork, Duke moved into the next room before pelting the next dummy with the rest of his bullets. When his gun clicked, he simply removed the stock in a swift movement. In an equally-smooth movement, he took a fresh clip and put it into the stock, cocked the pistol to make sure it was working, then set to work on the last dummy.

One pull of the trigger, and a two-second burst of lead, and the last Millennium stand-in was barely recognizable.

_Team Cobra feels they've triumphed, but what do our experts say?_

"This is a bit smoother than the Mauser, that much is obvious." Ray said, looking over the first target, "You hit this guy in the chest and barely strayed from that spot; maybe a bullet in his trachea or collarbone, but nice shooting."

"And you were completely right on what you said." TL added, "You reloaded faster than the Mauser and you packed a bit more stamina than the Mauser."

_Both auto pistols are nightmare close-quarter weapons, but our experts have to give the definite edge to one..._

"We saw some deadly blows from both pistols, but with more rounds in the mag, a better reload time, and less kick when firing, I give the edge to the Glock 18." Lunatic concluded.

_When it comes to pistols, Cobra's Glock gets the edge._

_But if both warriors have their way, the enemy may get incinerated before they even get close. Both came armed with hellish explosive weapons..._

"An icon for any terrorist organization right here." Scarlett said, hefting a medium-sized rocket launcher, "Since Cobra doesn't have a stake to shove in these guys' hearts, they'll kill them with this: the RPG."

_The RPG-7: with its warhead-based ammunition, it can stop anything ranging from an armored vehicle to a squadron of enemies._

RPG-7:  
Size: 3ft  
Weight: 15lbs  
Range: 330ft w/o training  
Blast Radius: 16ft

_But Team Millennium also has a nightmare of a launcher: one that became the enemy of many an American tank._

"If you thought soldiers using tanks were safe, you're dead-wrong." Lady Hellsing said, pulling up a deep-green launcher, "This weapon is a tank-stopper."

_The Panzerfaust: as its name suggests, it is capable of stopping a Panzer tank in its tracks._

Panzerfaust:  
Size: 3.3ft  
Weight: 14lbs  
Range: 200ft  
Blast Radius: 15ft

"This is something different now." TL stated, "We've got tank-stopping rockets now. That means that the destructiveness in this episode has just gone up."

_To settle on which rocket launcher is more lethal, our team heads out to the firing range._

Out on the range were a pair of big-rig trucks: one green, the other blue. A fire crew stood by, ready to hose down any flames that, combined with gas tanks, would cause a deadly explosion. And in the hand of the respective experts was a bazooka-like weapon.

"Now, since we have two rocket-propelled grenades, we're putting you to the test against vehicles." TL explained, "Team Cobra, you hit the green truck. Team Millennium, you hit the blue one. One shot each, and name your range. Team Millennium, you go first with the Panzerfaust. What's your range?"

"Sixty meters." Lady Hellsing answered, slinging the launcher over her shoulder.

Integra aimed down the sights of the launcher aiming at the blue truck.

"On my mark!" TL called, "Three! Two! One! FIRE!"

With just a movement of Integra's index finger, the Panzerfaust fired its rocket. Said projectile flew through the air and hit the truck right in the side and detonated in a burst of superheated gas.

When the smoke cleared, the truck was a wreck: charred black, hunks of it missing, the whole thing was just a wreck. Flames also licked the inside of the vehicle, which the fire crew immediately set to work on.

Lunatic was whooping at the sight of such destruction. Because of his inability to speak, TL had to do it all for him.

"That weapon did THAT much to a vehicle of that size. That's going to be devastating for a five-on-five man-fight." TL said, looking over some footage, "The explosion hits the door first, then explodes on impact. What's fun about this, though, is that it continues going and actually goes out the other door, too."

"So, you're killing both people in the truck, basically." Loon asked.

"Very nice, Nazi nerds." Duke congratulated, then deadpanned, "Too bad Cobra's launcher hits from more than a hundred feet further than yours. They'll hit you before you hit them."

_Can Team Cobra back up their words? For an accurate test, Scarlett takes aim at thirty meters further than Team Millennium's Panzerfaust test._

Scarlett loaded a rocket into the RPG, then looked down its sights at the army-green truck.

"Scarlett, you ready?" TL called.

"Ready!" she yelled back.

"Three! Two! One! FIRE!"

Scarlett pulled the trigger of the RPG, unleashing the deadly explosive. Said explosive rocketed forward, crossing a greater distance than the Panzerfaust and hitting the truck square in the nose and exploding, killing any who might have been inside.

The truck was almost unidentifiable with its front almost completely demolished; and high-speed footage revealed that the damage to the truck was done the same way as the Panzerfaust: the rocket penetrated and exploded at the same time, causing a burst of fire and shrapnel to kill anyone who was fortunate enough to be driving and riding it.

Lunatic's reaction was even greater than when he saw the Panzerfaust's results. He was holding back as much as he could in order not to jump in the air.

"Wow, you hit these guys head-on." TL admired, "Cobra must have some serious gall to pull something like that."

"Believe me." Scarlett stated, "They would do that and more."

_The damage of both rockets are deadly, but which explosive gets the edge in battle?_

"Both these two are one-shot weapons, so that first shot it going to be a deciding factor." Lunatic informed, "I won't base anything on explosion force, but I WILL say that the RPG's superior range to the Panzerfaust gives it my edge. First shot, first kill, and if you can hit from further away, it'll make all the difference."

_In special weapons, the edge goes to Cobra's Commandos for the RPG-7._

_

* * *

_

Now, with our testing complete after a long week, it's time for the elite of two evils to cross fire and decide who is the Deadliest Warrior.

_We tested four weapons of the Cobra Commandos: the HK MP5 submachine gun, FN MAG machine gun, Glock 18 pistol, and the RPG-7 rocket launcher._

_We also tested four weapons of choice of Millennium's SS: the StG-44 submachine gun, MG42 machine gun, Mauser pistol, and the Panzerfaust rocket launcher._

_In mid-range combat, the Nazi's pride and joy went up against a modern slayer as the StG-44 clashed against the HK MP5._

"The MP5 has a good rate of fire and is a reliable gun, but in a firefight, it's the first shot that counts. Because of range and more control, I give the edge to the StG."

_**Edge: Millennium SS**_

_In close-quarters, both brought a nasty automatic pistol: the Mauser C96 and the Glock 18._

"More rounds in the clip, more control over the full-auto; edge to the Glock."

_**Edge: Cobra Commando**_

_In long-range weapons, both packed legendary machine guns as the FN MAG faced off against the MG42._

"Both guns can do their job of buzzing down their enemies, but we saw some slightly better shooting and a faster problem to solve with the MG42. That's what I'll back up."

_**Edge: Millennium SS**_

_Finally, in special weapons, rockets blazed from Cobra's RPG-7 and Millennium's Panzerfaust._

"Based on hundred-meter distance range and ease to use, I put my money on the RPG. The Panzerfaust won't reach that far, especially considering the RPG's maximum range."

_**Edge: Cobra Commando**_

_With the test data input complete, Lunatic will run a simulation in a computer program developed by Slytherine Studios to decide the winner. To prevent a lucky blow from claiming victory, Lunatic sets the five-on-five battle to run a thousand times._

"Cobra vs. Millennium; this is the moment of truth between these two evils' top troops. So, why wait?" Lunatic asked, and with a stroke of the Enter key, the battle began.

-the fight-

On a snowy mountainside, a team of five Millennium SS made their way towards an abandoned snowside base. Their captain, bearing the swastika symbol on his right arm, inspected the base before taking notice of other human presences in the base.

Inside the base was a five-man squad of Cobra Commandos clad in blue and bearing the crimson cobra head. Their leader wore a mask that shielded all below his nose as well as an azure army helmet. One of them was acting as lookout for invaders.

Cobra: 5

Millennium: 5

The SS leader halted his soldiers, then beckoned one of them forward. Said soldier hefted a Panzerfaust rocket launcher over his shoulder and took aim. Once the Commando lookout was in his sights, he pulled the trigger. With a hiss of propellant, the rocket flew at the base.

The Commando only had time to see it coming. The rocket exploded, the pressure wave bowling him clean off his feet while the shrapnel shredded him like paper.

Cobra: 4

Millennium: 5

An alarm went off, drawing the Cobra Commandos inside to attention. One made his way up a floor while the other three retrieved their weapons and rushed towards the main entryway.

Outside, the SS leader barked "Öffnen Sie Feuer", and at his command alone, one of his troops hunkered down and readied the legendary MG 42, Hitler's Buzz-Saw. Said gunner unleashed a storm of bullets just as the Cobra Commandos looked ready to come out. A lightning-fast reflex kept the blue-clad soldiers from suffering another casualty.

While the Cobra Commandos below returned fire with their MP5s, the one that was a floor above picked up his RPG-7 and aimed out a window.

Below, the SS leader looked up, spotting said Commando. He barked "Rückzug", and all his troops up and retreated. But the one who wielded the Panzerfaust wasn't so lucky: he had just loaded another rocket into his launcher when he found himself at the center of the RPG's blast.

He lay in pieces, scattered across the ground in a bloody mess.

Cobra: 4

Millennium: 4

The Millennium SS moved around to find another entryway on the base's side while the Cobra Commandos, spotting their enemy retreating, took off in the same direction. The Millennium SS swung open a door, each one with weapons at the ready. The room they had entered was the power source, providing electricity and heat to the base.

The Millennium SS were just spanning a wall towards another doorway when another door just one floor above opened up. The Cobra Commandos had ambushed them, raining down bullets from their HK MP5s. The SS returned fire with their StG-44s, only to miss, their bullets ricocheting off the metal walls of the base.

The Millennium SS scattered while one with the fear-inducing MG 42 continued to fire up at them. The Cobra Commandos fled, but one was unfortunate enough to take a hail of bullets to his chest. He toppled forward, rolling down the stairs and sprawling out across the floor, his limbs spread out.

Cobra: 3

Millennium: 4

The Lead Commando chased a pair of Millennium SS, then aimed his MP5 and fired a barrage of bullets. While many fell stray of one of one of the SS soldiers, the other wasn't as fortunate as he crumpled to the ground.

The Lead Commando made very sure to step on this one's corpse as he chased after the other one.

Cobra: 3

Millennium: 3

The Millennium SS leader armed with an StG-44 went through a doorway, but dived for cover before a storm of bullets flew at him. The Cobra Commando he was chasing had propped an FN MAG on a table and was using it as a steady for his light machine gun.

The SS returned fire, but only briefly before ducking again to avoid fire. But soon, the Commando's gun jammed. After a mental curse, he ducked behind the heavy-set table and tried to fix his gun up. He fixed his gun soon enough and raised it over the table only to find that his enemy was no longer there.

The cocking of a gun reached his ears as he slowly turned around...

The SS leader was pointing a Mauser pistol straight at his head. By now, he figured it was the perfect time to emit two words that perfectly described the situation.

"Oh, crap..."

BANG!

The Cobra Commando fell, lifeless, to the floor with a bullet lodged in his brain. Due to the no-reflex killzone hit, he didn't even get a shot out as he was killed.

The SS Leader humphed at his enemy, then went on his way. Still a few more pests to eliminate...

Cobra: 2

Millennium: 3

One Cobra Commando came across a very dark hallway that he felt would be a good hiding place for him...or an enemy. Taking precautions, he pulled out a pair of nightvision goggles and took a Glock pistol in his hand before venturing off into the dark.

It was not the most assuring place to be. Even the slightest sound seemed like enemy movement, even when it was no more than a drop of water falling into a forming puddle. He was just very thankful for these goggles.

He spotted something; something that seemed out-of-place among the pipes and chambers: a coated soldier with an MG 42 pointing straight at him.

The Cobra Commando's itchy trigger finger saved his life because that shot forced the Millennium SS to take evasive action. But with a bulky machine gun prohibiting his movement, he only saved himself from death once. The next one hit him in the shoulder, and soon another hit him right between the eyes.

He fell to the ground with the gun clattering down to his side.

Cobra: 2

Millennium: 2

The Cobra Commando looked down at his enemy; upon making sure he was dead, he continued down the hallway until he came upon light. There to meet him was his masked leader. On recognizing each other, they hurried down the hallway.

Not too far away, the SS Leader had just run into his own subordinate. Both gave each other a nod, then turned a corner in search of their enemies, hoping to get the jump on them before they themselves were caught.

Both teams found themselves in a docking bay, where vehicles from jeeps to snowmobiles lay, waiting for use. The Millennium SS emerged from one side while the Cobra Commandos emerged from the other.

The SS split up, one carrying the StG, the leader taking his Mauser. The SS follower used a jeep as cover, peeked around it, then stealthy stalked behind another vehicle.

The Cobra Commandos, on the other hand, took a different approach. They stayed together, moving through the labyrinth of vehicles...

BANG!

A three-round burst of bullets hit the pistol-packing Cobra Commando full in the chest, sending him stumbling to the ground. The Millennium SS had nailed him with his StG-44, and had narrowly missed the Cobra leader.

The Cobra Leader raised his HK MP5 and returned fire, sending the SS back in hiding. Looking down at the front of the vehicle the vampiric Nazi was hiding behind, he could make out the boots.

He got down in a crawl position, aimed his MP5, then fired. Just as the Millennium SS was about to come out, a barrage of bullets riddled his legs. The Nazi fell to the floor and tried to prop himself up to fire his StG, but got hit smack in the head and shoulders with the MP5's ammo.

Cobra: 1

Millennium: 1

The Cobra Leader got to his feet, then crouched and silently made his way away from the fallen soldiers.

BANG!

A bullet ricocheted off a jeep's nose just as the Cobra Leader was about to come out. The Millennium Leader had tried to put a bullet in him. Peeking out, he returned fire with his MP5 only to see it hit air, missing his enemy completely.

Both moved around their respective vehicles, trying to get a good aim on each other, but not going anywhere.

The Millennium Leader got an idea and made a mad dash across, drawing fire from the Cobra Leader. The Cobra Leader's teeth gritted in frustration as none of his bullets hit their moving target.

The Millennium Leader sprang behind another vehicle, then took a quick glance before pulling out his Mauser and firing one single bullet. Mentioned bullet flew through the air and hit the Cobra Leader in his right arm.

The Cobra Leader grunted in pain, then turned his gun and fired at the spot, a bullet grazing the Millennium Leader's own arm. The vampiric Waffen SS emitted a pained snarl, then made a slight adjustment to his pistol.

The Cobra Commando emerged to fire, but was met with a nasty surprise. He was just about to fire when the Millennium Leader emerged and unleashed a full-auto burst from his Mauser. The bullets barraged the Cobra Leader full in the chest, the blue-clad leader spasming as he went down.

The Millennium SS strode over to his downed opponent, who pointed his MP5 at him. The Millennium Leader backed off slightly, feeling that right now, he had been suckered.

Click.

The Cobra Leader had used up all his bullets. Now, he was at the Millennium Leader's mercy.

The Millennium SS Leader emitted a toothy, inhuman smile as he picked the Cobra Leader up by the collar. Said SS opened his mouth and clamped his sharp fangs down on the Cobra Commando's neck, blood spurting from severed arteries and open wounds. The Cobra Commando emitted a strangled scream until all life had left his body.

Cobra: 0

Millennium: 1

The Millennium SS released his enemy from the chokehold, then dumped him unceremoniously on the floor. Blood dyed his mouth a deep crimson as he raised a fist and shouted, "Sieg für Jahrtausend!"

-end-

_**Winner: Millennium Waffen SS**_

"Millennium's SS took the match because of their reliable mid- and long-range firearms." Lunatic explained, "The Cobra Commandos had reliable weapons, but not enough to match the devastation that their enemies brought to the fight."

_Out of a thousand battles, the Cobra Commandos could only win 457 times..._

Cobra Commando Kills…  
HK MP5: 106  
Glock 18: 68  
FN MAG: 189  
RPG-7: 94  
All-in-all Kills: 457

_The Millennium SS won strong with 543 kills, their StG and MG 42 being their best weapons._

Millennium SS Kills…  
StG-44: 187  
Mauser C96: 67  
MG 42: 213  
Panzerfaust: 76  
All-in-all Kills: 543

"Team Cobra had good weapons, no doubt about it. But when it comes to bringing the bloodshed, Millennium's SS had the better weapons for maximum slaughter." Ray explained.

"In real life, Cobra's elite would not have gone down that easy." Duke stated, "Cobra built a still-living organization; Millennium didn't."

"I had no doubts." Integra said, sternly, "Cobra can intimidate as much as they want. But today has proven that Millennium's Waffen SS is the deadliest warrior."

(A Millennium SS emitted a beastly snarl, blood staining his mouth red.)

_With apologies to GI Joe fans._

_Next time..._

_Two legendary assassins of their respective worlds turn on each other._

_The Xing Assassin: the Xing province's elite soldiers assigned to destroy threats to the emperor._

_VS._

_The Mist Ninja: the assassin who, by childhood, was already drenched in blood._

_Stay tuned..._


	22. Xing Assassin vs Mist Ninja

**A Xing Assassin**

(A young man in loose, black clothing takes a curved swords and performs a series of complex sword swings and thrusts.)

The elite and stealthy protectors of the Xing Nation's most important figures.

(A Xing Assassin kicks away an assassin in the emperor's throne room before clashing swords with the assassin and killing him.)

**A Mist Ninja**

(Another man with dark, form-fitting clothes, a demon mask, and a cowl takes a heavy-tipped sword in hand before taking a swing with it.)

The lethal stealth-based slayer whose entire nation was built on bloodshed.

(A Mist Ninja spies a samurai, then emerges from the mist and, with one swing of his sword, cleaves the samurai's head free of his body.)

_WHO...IS...DEADLIEST?_

_To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe-to-toe._

_No rules, no safety, no mercy; it's a duel to the death to decide who is..._

_**The Deadliest Warrior**_

In the fight club, weapons were ready to bring bloodshed. Targets were pelted with sharp throwing objects, swords clashed as their wielders sparred, and chains rattled as their wielders spun them.

_In an LA-based fight club, two deadly stealth experts are about to be brought against each other; both equally-devoted and both deadly forces._

_A Xing Assassin: the masked, cloaked defender of the Xing Province's most revered figures, but deadly adversary to its invaders._

_VS._

_A Mist Ninja: a home-grown butcher whose entire culture is drenched in the blood of both their lifelong allies and their deadly enemies._

Xing Assassin...  
Height: 5'7"  
Weight: 132lbs  
Gear: 5lbs  
Homeland: Xing Province

Mist Ninja...  
Height: 5'9"  
Weight: 146lbs  
Gear: 8lbs  
Homeland: Kirigakure

A white hedgehog attached a motion-sensitive device to a young woman's wrist.

_Media expert and biomechanical expert, **TLSoulDude**, will bring the machinery to analyze the force both Xing and Mist bring to the fight._

"The Xing are willing to give their life to protect the royalty of their land. But the Mist are absolute nightmare warriors, which means that these guys are not going to want to back down for any reason." TL said, voice brimming with excitement.

A young man with a buzz-cut and a black military beret put his finger into a gel torso's wound.

_Former SOLDIER 1st Class and biologist, **Sgt. Reynol**, will analyze the damage each assassin deals out._

"I'm gonna tell you whether a guy will be conscious if he gets hit. I'll tell you if he's alive, wounded, or dying from the hit he receives." Ray explained.

A young man with a Konoha headband and spiky, red hair slowly removed a large needle from a gel torso before making a sick face.

_Computer wiz, **Lunatic the 121****st**, will input the battle data into a computer program that will ultimately decide the victor._

"These two warriors are the best at what they do: subdue and kill their enemies in the most brutal ways imaginable." Lunatic explained, "The differences here in terms of mindset and tactics will be miniscule."

_The computer will simulate a duel to the death between Xing Assassin and Mist Ninja. The winner will be the Deadliest Warrior._

_On the side of the Xing Assassin are two warriors who claim that their native warriors will emerge triumphant._

A young woman with black getup and hair took a wicked, curved sword before taking a practice thrust with it.

_A sworn protector to a Xing prince, **Lan Fan** will test the killer weapons that the Xing Assassin will bring to the battle._

"Our sole purpose for fighting is to protect the important figures." Lan Fan explained, "When you take the oath, you live for them, serve them, die for them. No other way around it."

A shorter, younger girl with long braids and clad in pink took a set of knives between her fingers before throwing them at a set of wooden targets.

_**May Chang **is a princess from the Xing province's Chang clan. She is familiar in the martial arts and lethal projectile weapons of Xing's chosen warriors._

"We're going to take out these misty amateurs. They focus so much on bloodshed that they'll walk the way we want them to; right into a trap." May said, her arms folded.

_Far east of the country of Amestris, home of the State Alchemists, the province of Xing is split into fifty different clans, all under the rule of one emperor. To protect the emperor and maintain his rule, he took in a team of elite soldiers, then trained them to the best of their ability._

"Because of our training, we became the best of Xing's soldiers in a short span of time." Lan Fan explained, "We could take pain, we could take anyone, and most importantly, we will fight to the death to defend our leader."

_Both the men and women fighters of Xing proved their mettle, skilled in projectile attacks, hand-to-hand combat, and lethal swordfighting._

_But will those skills save them from their latest adversary: the infamous, bloodthirsty ninja of the mist? Two experts believe that the Xing don't have what it takes._

A man with gray skin and bandages hiding everything below his eyes took a sword and took it to a sparring dummy's neck.

_A legend among the Mist's elite ninjas, **Zabuza Momochi** will bear the lethal, flesh-shearing weapons of the mist._

"These Xing warriors are determined, but their weaponry can't compare to ours." Zabuza grunted, "When they see what we bear, they'll regret ever picking a fight."

A young man with a violet body-suit and silver hair took a chain in hand and spun it in a vertical circle.

_A direct relative to a member of the Seven Mist Swordsmen, **Suigetsu Hozuki **is a full-blooded mist ninja and plans to collect all seven swords of the Mist Swordsmen._

"Those Xing guys can talk determination all they want. But while they want to defend their king, the mist ninja will be more determined to put their blood on his blade.

_The village of Kirigakure, located on the sea just east of the Land of Fire, stands as a valuable source for all villages in the ninja world. But behind the pristine sea, the Mist brutally trains its children to become hardened, cold-blooded assassins._

"Compared to the training that Mist Ninjas go through, most other ninjas are just kids' stuff." Suigetsu pointed out, "The brutality of the Mist's training has no competition."

_One of their most brutal training methods happened in their childhood training. To become a Genin, the young ninjas are paired with one of their own classmates and forced into a duel to the death. The one who kept his or her life moved on._

"It's a fate worse than death." Zabuza stated, "You could fight a classmate, a friend, even a brother. There was no other way out: you either kill to move on or die yourself."

_Both these assassins are renowned stealth masters. But in a head-to-head battle, which would strike first? Who would lie in a pool of their own blood?_

"I'm giving my initial edge to the Xing Assassin." Lunatic stated, "The reason lies in the lands these two created. The Mist Village is small in comparison to its neighboring villages. The Xing Dynasty spans across a great empire. My opinion? Look to the warrior who built an empire."

"The Mist Ninja's arsenal is some of the most lethally-designed weapons I've seen. And since they're able to blend in, not just into shadows, but mist and water itself, I think they'll take this fight." Ray countered.

_Team Xing starts off the battle with a curved weapon for slashing, stabbing, and slaughtering._

_The War Sword: half blade and half handle, its weight and length can cleave enemies down their center in one swipe._

War Sword:  
Size: 3.5ft  
Weight: 4lbs  
Design: Single-Edged  
Substance: Steel

"This is a sword used by our warriors." Lan Fan said, holding up a curved, single-edged, wide blade, "It's long, sturdy, and heavy. That means this blade will carve through whatever you swing it at."

"The way you swing that thing so easily, combined with how heavy you say it is, it just adds on to how lethal it is." TL said, watching the Xing warrior perform near-acrobatic martial arts moves with it, "But there's only one way to see if it's as deadly as it looks."

"Do I hear another pig losing its life?" Lunatic asked.

_To put Team Xing to the test, our team rigs a pair of pig carcasses: the closest thing to human flesh and bone._

"Lan Fan, are you ready?" TL asked.

Lan Fan nodded, taking a combat stance, sword poised for a swift strike.

"Three! Two! One! CUT IT!"

With just one swing of the blade, Lan Fan's war sword cut both pigs clean through their middles, separating their lower bodies from their upper bodies. Earning excited cheers from the experts, Lan Fan did it again, the blade cleaving through their ribcages and sending another set of chunks to the floor. Finally, Lan Fan poised her sword at the pigs' necks, and with a vertical chop, cleaved their heads free of their bodies.

"I didn't think that sword could do it!" TL said in amazement, "I think this is the first bladed weapon that can rival a katana."

"It's all in the sword's design." May explained, using her finger to point out the designs, "The curve of the blade increases the draw cut, but the weight near the tip increases the percussion cut."

_As much as the War Sword impressed our experts, Team Mist is not packing it in._

"Mist Ninjas don't stand still like a dead pig." Zabuza put out, bluntly, "And we have a sword that is a full foot longer and does your job better."

"I would like to see that." Lan Fan said, sensing a challenge.

_The Mist Village's most legendary warriors wielded a weapon that slaughtered swiftly and efficiently._

Zabuza took up a long blade with sharp edges, but no point at the tip, then took it to a foam torso, taking its head clean off.

_The Beheading Sword: four feet of chopping power used for both warfare and execution._

Beheading Sword:  
Size: 4ft  
Weight: 5lbs  
Design: Double-Edged  
Substance: Steel

"Okay, the thing I notice about this weapon is that there's no point on the tip." Lunatic pointed out, "What's the deal here?"

"This sword is not a stabbing weapon: it's main use is chopping." Suigetsu explained, holding out a sword, "Like that war sword, all the weight is near the tip, so when this comes down, it will come down HARD."

_To see just how hard the Beheading Sword can hit, our team sets up a ballistics gel torso to simulate an execution..._

"Okay, Zabuza, here's what you're going to do." TL explained, gesturing to the upright torso, "This guy has been declared an undesirable, and you're going to do what that sword does best: take his head off."

"Just what I was waiting for..." Zabuza said, amusement in his voice.

After the experts backed away, Zabuza took the blade and positioned it in a horizontal position that suggested public execution.

"Zabuza, you ready?" TL called.

"Yes." Zabuza answered.

"Three! Two! One! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"

Pulling back the sword, Zabuza roared, then swung full-force at the torso's neck. In a spatter of blood and a thump on the ground, the gel torso's head tumbled to the ground. Its neck was now a bleeding, clean-cut stump.

"I didn't think that cut would be that clean." Ray said, inspecting the severed head, "And the worst thing about it is that, once this head is off, the heart is still beating and pumping blood out of the severed arteries."

TL's eyes widened at that single statement. "That has GOT to be the most messed-up post-death effect I've ever heard of."

Suddenly, when Lunatic touched the severed neck of the gel torso, a small fountain of blood spurted out of it, causing the computer expert to take his arm away in surprise. Zabuza, on the other hand, covered his hand in it, then dragged it across the torso's chest: a calling card of the mist.

"At least he died quickly and painlessly." Zabuza said, smirking under his bandages.

_Both swords are lethal cutting weapons, but for a better test of strength, our experts pit them in a head-to-head battle against their thickest target yet..._

Both Zabuza and Lan Fan stepped up to a platform where two sets of cow ribs hung suspended from the ceiling.

"Alright, both these weapons can probably waste whatever is in their swing trajectory." TL stated, "But we want to see just what both swords can do to these beef ribs. Cow bones are thicker than humans', so if you get through these, you can cut a guy in half. Up for the challenge."

"Yes." Lan Fan replied.

"Bring it on." Zabuza challenged.

_First up, the Xing War Sword..._

Lan Fan took the set of ribs on the right, the War Sword poised for a vertical chop.

"GO!"

With an almost roar-like grunt, Lan Fan brought the War Sword down on the rib set. The first swing alone went clean through two sets of ribs, earning excited cheers and hoots from the experts. Another swing hacked through another set, leaving it hanging on by only one bone. And the last swing separated the ribs into two hanging pieces of meat.

_Now, Zabuza meets the challenge with the Mist's Beheading Sword..._

Zabuza took a quick practice-swing, then faced the meat he was ready to cleave.

"GO!"

Zabuza moved swiftly, yet with a deathly silence, and with just one swing of the sword, the ribs almost fell in half, suspended only by a tendon of meat. If the cheers from the experts were loud before, they were even more enthusiastic now. With just a casual flick of the Beheading Sword, Zabuza separated the two ribs completely.

"Very nice work, you two." Lunatic congratulated, "Both those swords would probably hack a human clean in two. But it took multiple strikes from the War Sword to get the job done. The Beheading Sword only gets one."

"But a kill is a kill, isn't it?" May asked, "I mean, that sword's a more graphic kill, but it makes no difference to a warrior of Xing."

"Killing is only the first half of the fun." Suigetsu said with a smirk, then added, "Second half is sending the message."

_Our experts are hard-nosed, but our experts have to give the edge to one weapon._

"Are these swords deadly? Yes. And while I would give the edge to the sword that allows stabbing, the beheading sword dwarfs that of the war sword in terms of cutting ability." Ray explained, "Thus, I give my edge to the Mist Ninja."

_In close-range weapons, the Mist Ninja takes a gruesome edge with the Beheading Sword._

–

_Determined defender meets bloodthirsty mercenary: Xing Assassin or Mist Ninja?_

_Both bring their own lethal arsenals and a warrior's zeal to back themselves up._

_The Xing bring in the War Sword, Meteor Hammer, Forearm Sword, and Throwing Knives._

"Mist Ninjas are so focused on making their kills gruesome and bloody that they forget about efficiency." May stated, "We'll kill the enemy swiftly, then leave just as fast. A trail of blood will lead your enemy right to you."

_The Mist bring in their own killer arsenal: the Beheading Sword, Razored Chain, Poison Claw Gauntlet, and Bo Shuriken._

"The Xing Assassins live in an empire where only the elite can be warriors." Zabuza said, shaking his head, "If you walk up to your neighbor, go through their door, you'll see a sword, shuriken, any ninja weapon imaginable hanging on their firestep. We don't need royalty to be powerful warriors: we have to be that way from the start."

_Both Xing and Mist warriors were deadly hand-to-hand combatants, but both had a way to silently kill from a distance._

_And for Mist Ninjas, their preference was the Bo Shuriken: a six-inch throwing spike that's practically invisible to the naked eye._

Bo Shuriken:  
Size: 6in  
Weight: under 1lb  
Substance: Steel  
Effective Range: 10ft

"This is the Senbon Throwing Spike." Suigetsu said, holding up an array of thin, silver spikes, "Mist Ninjas use these as assassination weapons for a few reasons. The first is that it's nearly invisible when it flies through the air. Second is penetration: when you get it into a part of the body, it's difficult and painful to pull out."

"Streamlined, has some weight to it, and it's very simple, too." Lunatic said, looking one over, "I like that."

"Care for a demonstration on this poor sap?" Suigetsu asked, gesturing to a foam torso.

"Please do." Lunatic answered, all experts stepping away.

Suigetsu took the first throwing spike, then threw it at the foam dummy in an overhand throw. The needle whistled through the air before lodging itself in the torso just above the collarbone. Suigetsu took better aim, then threw a second one, this one lodging into the torso's neck.

One final throw lodged a senbon deep into the torso's abdominal region. Suigetsu nodded in satisfaction, then joined the experts in finding out what damage he had done.

"Okay, can I just point out that these are REAL hard to get out?" Ray said, trying to remove one of the needles with his hand and barely inching it out. Afterward, he simply used a pair of medical tweezers to finally remove it.

"Wow, that's a full four inches in." TL said, measuring it up with his thumb, "Now, something like this in his neck, what'll it do?"

"It has a few possibilities." Ray explained, "The first is hitting the windpipe, which believe it or not, may not kill you outright."

"What?" Lunatic asked in disbelief.

"Hear me out." Ray stated, "This is too thin to cut off your breathing, the wound is too small to stop air flow, and if you remove it, you could actually breathe through the hole in your neck. If it has been slightly more to the right, it would have hit important blood vessels and muscle. THAT would be a death blow."

"Second one is an interesting shot: you've pierced the muscle just above his collarbone, possibility of disabling his arm, but that's a big 'if'." Ray stated, then moved on to the last one, "This is lodged in his gut, which, judging by the depth of penetration we saw, will pierce intestines and maybe the stomach. Still, this could be a delayed kill at most."

_The Senbon are silent strikers, but Team Xing is not packing it in._

"Look at your work." May said, folding her arms, "Your weapon is a set of sewing needles that you throw. You've given us a few mean cuts, but that's all they are."

"I suppose you have something better?" Zabuza challenged.

"As a matter of fact, YES." May answered, then held up a set of triangular knives with crimson tassles on their blunt ends.

_The Xing's answer to the Bo is the Throwing Knife: though slightly shorter, it is said to pack a lot more punch._

Throwing Knife:  
Size: 5in  
Weight: 1lb  
Substance: Steel  
Effective Range: 20ft

"These are my weapons right here." May said, holding out a set of five knives, "The way they're shaped allows them to fly easily, and these tassles help it spin, keeping it in the air."

"So, a lot of thought was put into these weapons in order for this to work. I like that." TL said, taking one of the knives and thumbing it to test its sharpness.

"The more structure a weapon has, the more efficient it will be at killing." Lan Fan stated, "The Bo are throwing weapons, but their range is limited."

_Given a fresh set of targets, May prepares to test the damage the throwing knife can do._

May looked over her targets, singled out one, then took a knife in her hand and threw it at the foam torso in the middle. The knife embedded itself into the area just below the ribcage. The next knife she threw lodged itself in the dummy's shoulder, and the third one hit it in the neck. If it had been human, she would have hit the Adam's Apple.

As the experts took a single step forward to congratulate her, May held up a hand, halting them. "I'm not finished just yet." she said, then held up a her opposite hand to reveal that she was holding four knives: one between each digit.

"She's throwing FOUR knives at once!" TL said, excitedly.

And May did just that. She threw the knives at the torso, each one embedding itself in the dummy's torso: ranging from the ribcage down to the waist level: just above the hip. After a satisfied nod, she beckoned the experts over.

Ray removed one of the knives from the torso: it had gone in all the way to the handle. "This is definitely a lot more penetration than the Bo shuriken and, because it has a wider surface area, it's going to create a wider wound and you're going to bleed much more."

"So, the wounds are more serious than that caused by those needles?" Lan Fan asked.

"Precisely. And since these knives have more mass and weight, they'll hit that much harder." Ray explained, "You don't need to be as precise as the Bo shuriken, but even if you miss something vital, the damage will be much more severe."

_Both warriors are deadly accurate with their long-range weapons, but our experts are clear on which weapon gets the edge._

"The Bo shuriken are impressive, but you need an extreme amount of precision to be deadly with them." Lunatic stated, "And when they do hit, the damage is not as profound as the throwing knives. For stopping power, skill with the weapon, and range, I give my edge to the Xing warrior."

_In long range weapons, the Xing Assassin gets the edge with the throwing knife._

–

_In our fight club, the tension between Xing Assassin and Mist Ninja is rising. Both sides of each warrior claim to see a weakness in the other's fighting strategy..._

"A Ninja of the Mist grows up with combat, not a Xing Assassin." Zabuza informed, "We eat, breath, live, DIE combat. We didn't have toys as children. Our toys were WEAPONS: not the wood or cardboard shuriken the Leaf uses. We used REAL, STEEL shuriken."

"There's no way I will hear the word 'clean' when I hear of Mist Ninjas." Lan Fan stated, "If they try to hide, all a Xing will do is follow the trail of blood. We have a better way to take our enemies out without leaving a traceable mess in the process."

_But when it came to causing disorder on the battlefield, both warriors packed an unpredictable rotation weapon._

"If you see this weapon, you won't know where we'll strike next..." May said, spinning a thin, chain-like weapon.

_Xing's choice of rotation weapon is the Meteor Hammer: a ten-foot chain tipped by two weights that can disarm an opponent or break his bones._

Meteor Hammer:  
Size: 10ft  
Weight: 3lbs  
Substance: Steel ball, chain grip

"The meteor hammer is a versatile little tool." Lan Fan explained, holding out a long, thin chain with a metal sphere on each end, "You can use it to trip up your enemy, bludgeon them with the weighted ends, or even disarm your enemy if need be."

"I don't know." Lunatic said, doubtfully, "It looks a bit on the flimsy side. What kind of damage can it do?"

"The weights are pretty dense and something of good weight and density flying at you is the last thing you want." Lan Fan answered, "And if it's continually spinning and moving, your enemy can't keep a good eye on it."

_To test the striking power of the meteor hammer, Lan Fan will practice on clay pots the same size as a human skull._

Suspended from the ceiling were a set of six clay pots filled with sand. The weight would brace it for impact; fit for a more physically-plausible test.

Lan Fan spun the meteor hammer, vertically, and to her left side as she eyed her targets, picking out her targets in silence.

"Lan Fan, you ready?" TL called. Upon earning a nod from her, he counted down. "THREE! TWO! ONE! SMASH IT!"

After a split-second of spinning the meteor hammer, Lan Fan threw it forward, the metal sphere on the end shattering the first pot. A flick of her wrist brought the sphere back to her. And after another quick spin, she brought it in a downward-swinging arc that shattered the next pot. One jerk brought the weapon back in her grasp. She spun, then brought it in a wide arc, the chain busting two clay pots down their centers while the weighted sphere shattered a third. And for a bit more show, Lan Fan flipped the meteor hammer at the last pot, then pulled, dragging the pot towards her, only to end up shattered by a sharp kick from the Xing warrior.

"Clay pots are not quite equal to human heads, but they're still very dense and thick." Ray explained, "If this were to hit the head, it could cause a fracture. It could possibly break ribs, break arms, break legs, but are these kills? No. Only the heads are kills."

"But you forget that this is attached to a chain." May pointed, "If the sphere doesn't kill our enemy, we'll just snare him and pull him towards us."

_The meteor hammer proves its flexibility, but Team Mist is far from impressed._

"You're joking, right?" Suigetsu asked, "You're bringing a ball and chain to a fight to the death? You may bruise or trip us, but you won't kill us."

"The point behind this weapon is to lead you INTO a kill." Lan Fan stated.

"I could see that." Zabuza admitted, "Unfortunately, we have a chain weapon that weakens you as it snares you."

_In order to strike enemies out of the reach of their swords, the Mist Ninja took the chain weapon and turned it into a razor-sharp slasher._

_The Razored Chain: a simple chain at first sight, but a closer look reveals its cutting prowess._

Razored Chain:  
Length: 12ft  
Weight: 4lbs  
Substance: Steel

"At first glance, this chain looks harmless enough." Suigetsu said, showing the team a twelve-foot chain, "But take a closer look at the links: they've been filed into blades. Most chains would stun an enemy if it hit them. This would shred their flesh."

"If this thing is filed all the way down, how would a Mist Ninja prevent hurting himself?" Lunatic asked, thumbing the blade of the chain.

"Nothing a pair of protective gloves won't solve." Suigetsu said, smirking, as he pulled on a pair of chainmail gloves.

_Chain mail is a light and effective armor system. A sword slashing at the chain-link material will slide off their hard surface._

_And to settle the debate, our team sets Suigetsu up with a pig carcass._

"Alright, you see the pig, you have your sharp weapon, I think you get the idea of what we're expecting." TL said with a nod.

"I don't think." Suigetsu stated, then corrected, "I know."

The experts and hosts quickly backed away, Suigetsu holding the currently-limp chain to his side.

Once at a safe distance, TL ordered, "GO!"

Suigetsu spun the razored chain over his head a few times, then brought it in a horizontal swing, raking across the pig carcass's center. The sharpened chain links actually snared a few times in the pig's flesh, but a flick of Suigetsu's wrist was enough to dislodge it. As the chain was jerked free, it tore away flesh and left deep, horrid wounds.

Suigetsu smirked, then took another approach, circling the pig, he lashed out with the chain again. This time, the chain wrapped around its midsection. He maneuvered to the other side to catch the other side of the chain, twist it, then pull to constrict the chain. The chain dug into the pig's skin, piercing all the way to bone so that the only thing keeping the pig in one pice was its spine.

"I didn't think a chain weapon like that could do this much damage." Ray said, looking over the pig's shredded body, "If this was a regular chain, the first impact would hurt enough, but you had to sharpen the chain. You're tearing into muscle, scraping bone if you're lucky, and if you hit the abdomen, there's a chance of you hitting organs and doing even more damage."

"This weapon is even deadlier because it has such a wide effective range." Zabuza said, arms folded across his chest, "You don't have to put it in a singular path. If you spin it around you, anything in that one-eighty-degree buzz saw will get slashed to ribbons."

_Team Xing sees the damage, but are unmoved._

"The weapon only works at its effective length." May pointed out, "If we get in close, you can't use that weapon. You'll get beaten before you get far enough away."

Lunatic had to shake his head. "Look, I'm sorry, Team Xing, but your meteor hammer needs a precise shot to do significant damage: head or neck. Everything else is either stunning or means of disarmament. The razored chain has length, distance, and means of greater damage when it does hit. So, edge to Team Mist this time."

_The Mist Ninja takes the edge in mid-range weapons._

_So far, the Ninja of the Mist has the Xing Assassin on the run, matching it blade for blade and chain for chain. But Xing is about to reveal their special weapons, that can swing the match their way._

Lan Fan held up her left arm to show a two-and-a-half was strapped to her forearm. One quick flick of her arm swung the blade pointing forward like a giant stilletto knife.

_The Forearm Sword: concealed under the Xing Assassin's sleeve, it can be brought out to become a lethal stabbing or slashing weapon._

Forearm Sword:  
Length: 2.5ft  
Weight: 2lbs  
Substance: Stainless Steel

"This is a forearm sword." Lan Fan explained, showing the experts, "It's light, easy to conceal, but still very strong."

"Why would a Xing Assassin use this weapon, exactly?" TL asked, feeling the blade.

"It doesn't weigh a lot, so we can travel with it." Lan Fan answered, "And, if I were to lose my sword, I would still have this weapon for use."

_Team Mist also has their own special surprise: a weapon laced with a toxic terror._

"With a weapon like THIS," Zabuza said, holding up a glove tipped with three-inch steel claws, "We don't need to kill you on the first wound."

_The Poisoned Hand Claw: fitting like a glove, its real danger lies in the lethal liquid distilled from toxic plants._

Hand Claw:  
Size: 3-inch claws  
Weight: less than 1lb  
Substance: Steel and poison

"Okay, this thing already scares me." Ray said, backing away slightly as Zabuza flexed the clawed fingers of the hand claw.

"These claws are large enough to do decent damage, but the real killer is THIS." Zabuza explained, then held up a wooden cup filled with a strange liquid, "This is distilled from aconite or wolfsbane; a highly toxic plant."

_Both sides support their weapon and see little use for their opponent's..._

"That claw is too short." May Chang said, folding her arms, "Our sword is so much longer and doesn't have to rely on poison to win. That poison also needs the right dose in order to kill effectively."

"That Xing sword is too long. A small blade is harder to see and moves that much faster." Suigetsu said with a sly grin.

_To settle the debate, our team puts each special weapon to the test: each will test their mettle against a ballistics gel torso: the same density as human flesh._

_First up, Team Mist with the Poisoned Hand Claw._

Zabuza slipped on a hand claw, dipped each claw into the poison, then waited for the go signal.

"Zabuza, you ready?" TL called.

"Ready."

"THREE! TWO! ONE! SLASH IT!"

Zabuza pulled back his hand, then raked the gel torso across the face, leaving deep wounds across the gel torso's face. The scars were a sickly purple color and some of the poison actually leaked from the wound. But Zabuza added more to the bloodshed by slashing at the dummy's torso, getting the three-inch claws (and toxic substances) into the vital organs.

_Next up, Team Xing slashes back with the Forearm Sword._

Lan Fan flung her arm outward, the blade springing out. She began to bounce in a combat-ready stance, her arm itching to plunge the blade into her victim.

"Lan Fan, you ready?" TL called.

"Ready!"

"THREE! TWO! ONE! CUT 'EM UP!"

Lan Fan lashed out with her forearm blade, the first swipe landing directly on the gel torso's neck. The wound almost took the head off, leaving it hanging by a piece of ballistics gel. Another slash amputated the torso's arm just above the elbow. A finishing stab to the abdomen actually exited out the torso's back, the blade exiting dyed with blood.

_Both seem like terrifying weapons, but Sarge Ray will reveal the killing potential of each weapon._

Ray went to Zabuza's target, then inspected the slash wound across the torso's face. "This would be a kill because these wounds go deep. He's going to die from the wound alone, but it's a delayed kill. However, with the poison now in his system, he'll die that much quicker."

"The wound here on the guts are tearing through muscle and the walls of his abdomen." Ray said, gesturing to the slash wounds on the torso's stomach, "If it was a little deeper, it would have ruptured organs, but you are getting the poison into the best areas of the body and this guy will die quickly."

"It does worry me, though, that you have to get THAT close before you can do any real damage." TL said, shaking his head.

"With a warrior as swift and efficient as a Mist Ninja, getting close is not a problem." Zabuza countered.

"Well, take a look at the damage done by Team Xing." Lunatic said, looking slightly disturbed at the bloody mess.

"The first strike was an instant-kill: you almost cut the guy's head off." Ray explained, moving the head back and forth to show the lethal wound, then looked at the arm, "If that hadn't happened, she took the guy's hand off, severing the important arteries in the wrist. If he tended to the wound, he'd live, but he'd have to stop the bleeding fast or he'll die of blood loss. This is a delayed kill."

"And finally, we have the abdominal wound. This would spill the enemy's guts out, cut clean through the most important ones: stomach, liver, intestines. This guy is dead three times over." Ray finished off.

"So, the evidence is right here." May stated, "If you tried slashing us with that claw, you'll lose your arm before you're close enough."

_So, toxic claws or long arm blade? Which weapon gets the edge._

"The Poison Claw is a terrifying weapon in that a graze may be enough to kill." Lunatic admitted, "However, the Mist Ninja wielding it will have to get in close to use it. And considering the power and range of the Forearm Sword, I don't think that's gonna happen. My edge goes to Xing this time."

_In special weapons, the Xing Assassin's Forearm Sword gets the edge._

_With our testing complete, a final showdown is inevitable between two legendary silent killers: Kirigakure's Mist Ninja and Xing's loyal assassin._

_We tested four Mist weapons that spilled ninja blood: the Beheading Sword, Razored Chain, Poisoned Hand Claw, and Bo shuriken._

_We also tested four weapons of the Xingese arsenal: the War Sword, Meteor Hammer, Forearm Sword, and Throwing Knife._

_In long-range combat, the needle-shaped bo shuriken of the Mist couldn't hold a candle to the Xing's throwing knife._

"The Bo needs a too-precise hit to do significant damage. The throwing knife has a bigger surface area and weight, so it will do more damage when it does hit."

Edge: Xing Assassin

_In close-quarter combat, both brought deadly blades: the Xing's War Sword and the Mist's Beheading Sword._

"Both swords are phenomenal cutters, but because it took ONE swipe to sever a cow's back in comparison to the Xing's three, I give the edge to the Beheading Sword."

Edge: Mist Ninja

_At mid-range, both brought a pair of rotation weapons: the Xing's Meteor Hammer and the Mist's Razored Chain._

"The meteor hammer is a nifty little tool, but it can't compare to the wounds that the razored chain caused on its target."

Edge: Mist Ninja

_Finally, in special weapons, the Mist's Poisoned Hand Claw competed with the Xing's Forearm Sword._

"The Hand Claw brings poison to the fight, meaning even a small wound will be deadly. However, to deliver that poison, the Mist Ninja will have to close the distance. With the forearm sword, the Mist Ninja won't get the chance."

Edge: Xing Assassin

_With all the data gathered, Lunatic will input the data into a computer simulation that will ultimately decide the victor. To prevent the showdown from being won by a single, lucky blow, the battle will be run a thousand times._

_Xing Assassin, Mist Ninja, the battle is on. Winner takes all._

With just one stroke of the key, the battle between Xing and Mist began.

-the fight-

In an abandoned city, a young man dressed in loose-fitting black clothing and an intricately-painted ceramic mask leapt from a boundary wall and landed on the roof of a house. A curved war sword was strapped to his belt, a chain around his chest, and a set of throwing knives adjacent to the sword.

On an opposite rooftop, another young man stood. This man was in a sleeveless, form-fitting shirt and what appeared to be gray camo armbands and scarf. On his head was a Mist headband and on his back was a great sword. Looped on his belt was a chain, on his left hand was a deadly-looking claw, and in a pouch on his belt was a set of bo shuriken.

A single house separated these two warriors, but that fact would change in a split second.

In that split-second, both sprang from their spots and landed on the rooftop. While still at a distance, both reached to their belts and pulled out their long-distance weapons: the Mist's Bo Shuriken and the Xing's Throwing Knives.

The Mist Ninja made the first move, throwing a set of three Bo at his Xingese opponent. The Xing sidestepped one, but another grazed his arm. Not thrown off by the slight injury, the Xing threw three throwing knives at the Mist Ninja, one landing and sticking in his arm.

The Mist Ninja grunted in pain, then pulled the knife out before throwing it behind him. Reaching to his belt, he unwound the chain and began to spin it. The Xing Assassin took his own chain, revealed to be a meteor hammer, and spun it in a wide arc just to his side.

Both waited for an opening, and then the Xing thrust the iron weight at the tip of the meteor hammer at his opponent. The Mist Ninja sidestepped the attack, then lashed out with his chain. The chain caught the Xing Assassin across the calf, tearing his robe and the flesh on his leg.

The Xing tumbled off his feet, clutching his wound, but got to his feet soon enough to avoid another lash. Finding the chain's weakness, the Xing Assassin rushed his enemy. The chain was only effective if the user's enemy was a distance away. Once mentioned enemy got in close, it became practically useless.

The Xing seized the Mist Ninja's arm, twisted it until the chain fell out of his hand, then released him and delivered a sharp kick to his midsection. The Mist Ninja staggered back, almost toppling over the rooftop in the process.

The Mist Ninja jumped, then fell down to the ground, landing on his feet like a cat. A split-second later, the Xing Assassin was there to meet him. And soon, the two were locked in a side-by side mad dash through the village.

The Mist Ninja reached backward, then took his beheading sword out with lightning speed. The Xing Assassin also pulled out his own blade, the War Sword, and threw out an arm to extend a two-foot sword from his forearm.

The Mist soon reached a clearer part of the village; now he had room to maneuver the massive beheading blade he wielded. Before turning to face his opponent, he took his iron-clawed left hand and with the claws, burst a strange capsule on his belt. A strange, purplish liquid spurt forth from it, coating his entire hand.

The Xing leapt into the air to come down on the Mist, who raised his sword in time to block the Xing's war sword. The Xing quickly followed up with a swipe from his forearm sword, which the Mist ducked under and countered by taking a swipe at the Xing's face.

The Xing backed away, then thrust with his war sword. The Mist sidestepped so narrowly that the edge of the blade grazed his side. The Mist swung down with his beheading sword, using all the strength he could muster. The strength of the chop rocked the Xing Assassin down to his core and when he pushed the Mist Ninja away, his sword arm felt like its bones had been bruised.

The Mist Ninja circled his enemy like a shark, then thought fast as his Xingese opponent charged him. The war sword came at him first only to meet the steel of the beheading sword. Then came the forearm sword, which the Mist Ninja evaded. The Mist Ninja performed a horizontal sweep in an attempt to take the Xing Assassin's legs out from under him only to see his enemy flip backwards to avoid it.

Rushing at each other head-on, both Mist Ninja and Xing Assassin swung their swords at each other. When both swords met on impact, the Xing's war sword flew right out of his hand to land with a clatter some ten feet away. The Xing stared at his sword in shock for a split-second, then turned his attention back to his opponent just as quickly.

The Mist Ninja swung his beheading sword at the Xing only to see him back out of its range. On his recovery time, the Xing moved in, jumped over the Mist's return swing, then backhanded the Mist Ninja across the face.

The Mist Ninja, furious now, took another swing only for the Mist Ninja to intercept him, grabbing his forearm and thrust at him with his forearm blade. The Mist Ninja, in that split-second, realized that if he wanted to get an upper hand, he would have to let go of his sword.

The beheading sword clattered to the ground as the Mist Ninja twisted his body, freeing his hand. He took a swipe at the Xing's face with his claw. The Xing ducked so narrowly that the claw took his mask off, sending it to the ground with a shatter.

The Xing turned, then tried to elbow his opponent in the face. But when he moved, the Mist Ninja moved with him. With a movement of the Mist Ninja's arm, the Xing Assassin was soon tumbling across the ground.

It was only a minor setback, for he flipped back on his feet...only to see that the Mist had gotten his sword back and was currently charging, hard and fast.

Not able to reach his sword in time, the Xing resorted to the only weapon available to him: his forearm sword. However, he realized this mistake quickly: each blow from the sword felt like a hammerblow to his arm and sent tremors down his entire body. The Xing Assassin adjusted himself, so that every time he took a step back, he would be moving closer to his sword.

The Mist Ninja pressed his attack, but unbeknownst to his opponent, he had seen through his plan to get the blade back. So, he changed his plan as well.

The Mist Ninja pulled back his sword, then swung. When the Xing blocked, the Mist didn't pull back to strike again. Instead, he pushed against his enemy until they were locked in a battle of strength. After a moment, the Mist Ninja shifted his weight suddenly.

The Xing stumbled forward and the Mist Ninja took his chance. He swung his beheading sword at the Xing in a low sweep, catching the Xing completely off-guard.

The Xing Assassin's body fell to the ground, bloody stumps in place of his legs, which lay just a foot away from him.

The Mist Ninja towered over his fallen foe, then took his metal claws, placed them on his enemy's neck, then slowly drew them across. The process left four deep wounds on the Xing's neck, leaving him to suffocate in his own blood.

The Mist Ninja sheathed his sword, then reached down, covered his hand in his enemy's blood, and clenched his fist.

Victory was his.

-end-

_**Winner: Mist Ninja**_

"The Mist Ninja took this fight because he was bringing the better tools for the job." Lunatic explained, "The Xing Assassin, though skilled with a blade and knife, couldn't pack as much punch as the Mist's devastating weapons."

Xing Kills...  
War Sword: 283  
Meteor Hammer: 41  
Forearm Sword: 97  
Throwing Knife: 47  
All-in-all Kills: 468

Mist Kills...  
Beheading Sword: 304  
Razored Chain: 187  
Poisoned Claw Gauntlet: 30  
Bo Shuriken: 11  
All-in-all Kills: 532

"The Xing lost, in my opinion, because of their rotation weapon." Ray reasoned, "The meteor hammer, a passive weapon, never stood a chance against the razored chain, a cutting weapon."

"How could we lose?" May asked, teary-eyed, "We're the best warriors in Xing..."

"I had no doubts." Zabuza said, closing his eyes, "Xing can't shed blood like a Mist Ninja can. We ARE the deadlier warrior."

(The Mist Ninja moves away from his de-limbed enemy, his clothing reeking of blood.)

_With apologies to Fullmetal Alchemist Fans..._

_Next time, two notorious space terrors collide: one for sport, the other for downright terror._

_Mandalorians: the gun-toting warriors whose war-based reputation blasted them into infamy._

_VS._

_Predators: the feared alien race whose entire culture was based on hunting, abducting, and killing._

_Stay tuned..._


	23. Mandalorian vs Predator

**Mandalorians**

(An armored man whose helmet was adorned with a T-shaped vizor took a pair of pistols before aiming at the camera)

The gun-toting race of Mandalore, whose combat history blasted them into galactic fame and infamy.

(A team of Mandalorians open-fire on a squad of soldiers with their pistols, one torching a soldier with a flamethrower.)

**Predators**

(A humanoid beast with a metal mask and dreadlock-esque tentacles swung with a spear before aiming a cannon on his shoulder.)

The bloodthirsty alien race, whose entire history is built on the slaughter of countless dangerous species.

(A Predator chases a pair of human targets before throwing a razor-sharp disk at them, grounding one. A cannon-fire later and the human was disintegrated.)

_WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?_

_To find out, our world-class fighters are testing history's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first-century science, we'll find out what happens when the two warriors go toe-to-toe._

_No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is…_

**The Deadliest Warrior**

A set of tables in the fight club were loaded with weapons ranging from blaster pistols to cannons and even to blades. Today was going to be a battle of galactic proportions...

_In our high-tech battle zone, a battle is brewing between two of the most notoriously-known beings in the galaxy._

_The Mandalorians: the race of warriors so highly-trained that even Jedi have problems fighting them._

_VS._

_The Predators: aliens from a hunt-based culture, who can appear, kill, and disappear in lightning-speed._

Mandalorian Stats...  
Height: 5'11"  
Weight: 156lbs  
Gear: 9lbs  
Armor: Mandalorian Iron  
Homeworld: Mandalore

Predator Stats...  
Height: 7'  
Weight: 200lbs  
Gear: 13lbs  
Armor: Alien Steel  
Homeworld: Unknown

A stocky teen in a Marvel-Hero adorned shirt readied a speed recorder to record a thrown weapon.

_Media man and biomechanical expert, **Tohokari-Steel**, will record the power that each warrior will bring down on their enemy._

"On one hand, you have possibly the best bounty hunters in the galaxy." Steel explained, "The other, you have an alien species who will stop at NOTHING to kill his enemy."

A man in SOLDIER gear and a black military beret took a practice swing with an alien blade.

_Former SOLDIER 1st Class and biologist, **Sergeant Marcus Reynol**, will investigate the damage that the weapons will unleash upon their victims._

"I will tell you which weapon will kill you and how quick." Ray explained, "I'll also tell you which weapon will maim the other guy and which weapon will actually KILL the other guy."

A teen with spiky, red hair looked over a few results, then typed the data into a computer.

_Computer wiz, **Lunatic the 121****st**, will gather the test data and input it into a computer simulation made to produce fight scenes. In the end, Mandalorian will battle Predator in a duel to the death._

"Because there's too much chance of a lucky blow with these firearms, I'll set things up for a squad battle." Lunatic explained, "And with these two different types of race, the damage will be as different as black and white."

_Ultimately, Mandalorians will fight Predators in a battle to the finish all to become the Deadliest Warrior._

_On the side of the Mandalore warriors, two experts are betting all they've got._

A man in a tan bodysuit and green Mandalorian armor took a pair of silvery pistols before taking aim.

_A Mandalorian-trained bounty hunter, **Boba Fett**, will test the shooting skills of the Mandalorian weapons. His father was the famed Mandalorian mercenary, Jango Fett: the template for the Clone Troopers that dominated the Clone Wars._

"My father was trained the same way all Mandalorians were trained." Boba said, his entire head hidden by the helmet's traditional T-shaped visor, "Strict, Brutal, Down-to-Business, that's what it's about."

Another man, this one in bronze Mandalorian armor, took a few devices before strapping them to his wrists.

_**Tal Ordo** is an expert in weapons used by Mandalorians from pistols to explosive weapons._

"Mandalorians' goals aren't to hide and wait for you." Tal stated, his helmet removed to show a face that had its fair share of scars, "Their goal is to take you out anytime, anywhere."

_Among the top fighters in the galaxy, the natives of Mandalore come from a long history of violence. Hardened by their planet's hardships, Mandalorians constantly battled each other for scarce resources, weapons and armor, and simply to earn a living._

"Mandalore is a desolate planet. It doesn't have much to offer and its inhabitants used to do anything for food, water, weapons, and armor." Tal explained, "Just before the Republic fell, it was the wild, wild west: kill or be killed."

_After a long Civil War, Mandalorians found their way off-planet. With their battle experience and the war over, they became ruthless mercenaries, pirates, spies, and thieves._

"Mandalorians are familiar with battle tactics and bear arms, having fought in the Mandalore Civil War." Boba explained, "Some have explored space, so they know the galaxy well. And they know how to stealthily smuggle or plunder. It was their way of life, after all."

_The Mandalorians are a force to be feared, but so are their latest targets: Predators._

A tall, muscular man took up a spear-like weapon before thrusting with it.

_The first human to encounter a Predator and live, **Major Alan "Dutch" Schaefer**, knows firsthand what the vile alien race can do. He barely survived an ordeal where all his men were killed and actually killed the creature._

"Mandalorians are only human." Dutch said, shaking his head, "So am I, and I was the last one alive when only one Predator was running rampant."

A younger, leaner man took an odd firearm in his hand before taking mock aim.

_Former US Military turned mercenary, **Royce**, has been on the Predator's homeworld. Although he was on the planet with many other powerful warriors, he was one of the few left alive after the experience._

"Predators are relentless." Royce stated, "They will hunt down and kill these Mandalorians like they have with countless other species across the galaxy."

_Native to a far-off jungle planet, Predators' entire society is based on their ability to hunt and kill targets, often dangerous and lethal species. So powerful was their drive to kill their target, a Predator who failed their mission would destroy themselves._

"Predators are as tough as they come because they don't have the option to quit." Royce stated, "If they fail, they die. So, they use all the right technology to make sure they stay alive and kill their targets before they're killed themselves."

_Predators are masters of all kinds of assault tactics: stealth with special camouflage suits for sudden sneak attacks, physical strength and blades for hand-to-hand combat, and technology for battle against life forms that possess firearms._

_But in a head-to-head showdown, which species would eliminate the other?_

"My money is going to the Mandalorian." Ray betted, "When I think of a Mandalorian, I think of a guy who's grown up in violence and desperation. And as soon as he goes in search of resources, he has to learn real fast that a blaster in his hand can solve a LOT of his problems."

"I disagree. I'm going with the Predator this time." Steel said, shaking his head, "Their entire culture is based on hunting and killing, and the weapons they bring are unlike anything a Mandalorian has seen before."

_The Mandalorians kick off the showdown with a quick-draw speed killer._

_The Westar-34 Blaster Pistols: sleek, lightning-fast blasters built for pinpoint accuracy on the draw._

Westar-34 Pistol:  
Size: 9in  
Weight: 3lbs  
Range: 165ft  
Rounds: 20

"These are the Westar Pistols." Tal introduced, holding up a pair of sleek, silvery pistols, "They may seem harmless to the eyes of other beings in the galaxy, but Mandalorians found ways to be very accurate and efficient with these guns."

"Are they fast?" Lunatic asked.

"Very." Boba answered, "You keep them holstered, then just whip them out and hip-fire away."

_To test the speed and fire rate of the Westar pistols, our team sets up a combat scenario..._

Out on the firing range, the team of experts had set up a simulation similar to the entryway of an archive hall/credit bank. Standing guard were a trio of armored soldiers, holding prop blasters.

"Okay, Tal, you want to raid this area, but there's a problem." Steel explained, "Three guys are standing in your way. What're ya gonna do? Total them."

"I like the sound of that." Tal said with a smirk.

Tal Ordo holstered a pair of blasters, then fitted a Mandalorian helmet on his head. He stood at the ready, his hands resting right on the grips of his blasters.

"Tal, you ready, man?" Lunatic called. On receiving a confirming nod, Lunatic began the traditional countdown.

"Three! Two! ONE! FIRE!"

In a split-second, Tal had whipped out the Westar on his right holster, aimed and fired a blast of crimson energy at the first guard, leaving a nasty-looking burn wound in the dummy's chest. This had just happened in over a quarter of a second. By the time half a second had passed, he had taken out his second pistol and started shooting as well, giving a similar wound to the second dummy. When three quarters of a second had passed, Tal was using both Westar pistols to blast the third dummy and his companions to shreds.

Once a full second passed, a moment of tense silence had turned into a blast zone, turning up charred enemies and smoking barrels. Proud of his work, Tal Ordo twirled his pistols around his index fingers, then holstered them.

"Nice shootin', Tex." Steel joked as Ray went to inspect the damage.

"We're talking phenomenal accuracy with this weapon." Ray put out, examining the first dummy, "This first wound was dead in the chest. It's burning through the heart and the lung: this guy's down." Ray went to the second dummy, "This guy here is pelted in the gut. While these aren't instant-kill shots, he's actually passed out and dying a slow death in the process. And this last guy is peppered head-to-hip: first shot was in his neck. That's an instant-kill."

_Hi-speed footage reveals that it takes Tal Ordo just over a quarter of a second to get out his first shot. This factor could be a game-changer._

_But as impressive a shot that a Mandalorian is, Team Predator just isn't packing it in._

"Not enough power. Not enough POWER!" Dutch exclaimed, "You can still tell it's him in the coffin."

"Hate to break it to ya, but I don't care if he's identifiable." Boba said, coldly, "He's dead. A kill's a kill in my book. Graphic deaths mean nothing."

"Well, a Predator's got a weapon that'll put that teeny-tiny pistol to shame and take you down with no hope of survival." Royce explained.

"Bring it on." Tal challenged.

_The Predators bring their own lethal arm to the fight: one they say can kill with one shot._

_The Plasma Caster: a shoulder-mounted weapon that can incinerate its target in an instant._

Plasma Caster:  
Size: 8in  
Weight: 3lbs  
Range: 100ft  
Rounds: infinite

"This piece of machinery is a plasma caster." Dutch said, holding up a piece of shoulder armor with a strange mini-cannon attached to it, "This is a Predator's main weapon when it wants a job done."

"Is it an accurate weapon?" Steel asked.

"At fifty feet, you can kill anything in an instant." Dutch answered.

"I see no trigger on this thing, so how does a Predator fire this thing?" Lunatic asked.

"The trigger is in their mask." Royce answered, "A Predator just has to move a mandible of theirs and this thing will fire."

_A Predator's mask offers not only protection, but a unique array of vision and targeting systems. It also can fire the Plasma Caster with just a flick of their insectoid mandibles._

_Because the weapon is to dangerous to fire indoors, our team heads out to the firing range. For safety purposes, the cannon will be remote-operated by Dutch._

Out at the range, Dutch held a simple joystick remote with his thumb fixed over a trigger button on top. Not too far away, a simple remote-controlled robot topped with a Plasma Caster could be wheeled and aimed from the simple control.

The setting was similar to the Mandalorian setting: three foam torsos acting as guards, blasters in hand.

"Okay, Dutch, you have three targets and three shots to take them out." Steel explained, "Considering the speed of the Westar pistols, I'm a little concerned about speed."

"It's not about speed." Dutch responded, "It's about getting the job done."

"Well, just to make things a little challenging, we'll time how long it takes to get your first shot out." Steel added.

Dutch could only frown. This wasn't going to be fun. Still, he stood at the ready, his thumb on the trigger and his hand on the joystick.

"Dutch, you ready?" Steel asked.

"Ready!"

"THREE! TWO! ONE! FIRE!"

Dutch aimed the laser target, then pressed the button on the joystick. Almost instantly, the plasma caster fired a blue bolt of plasma at the first guard. The result could have been similar to if someone had semtex go off in their gut. There were only body parts and blood remaining.

After a quick adjustment of the laser sights, Dutch pressed the trigger again. The same thing that happened to the previous target happened to the second one: nothing but a spatter of blood and parts. An adjustment and fire later, and the guards were no more than bloody patches on the ground and walls.

"There is NOTHING left of these guys." Ray said in amazement, "One blast each was enough to total these guys one by one."

"Wait, there's one thing left of this guy." Lunatic said, going over to the third target and picking up a severed hand.

"That's the only evidence you have that these targets actually existed." Royce pointed out.

_The plasma caster wows the experts, but the plasma caster took a full second to aim and fire. In comparison, the Mandalorian blasters took only a quarter of the time it takes for a Predator to fire._

"I think that the plasma caster, after its first guaranteed kill, will give its targets time to realize just what's going on, scatter, and start shooting back." Steel reasoned, "With the Mandalorian blasters, after their first kill, you will have a split-second's choice to either take cover or pull your own gun and start firing."

_In a battle of first kill vs. instant kill, both the Plasma Caster and the Westar Pistols are deadly. But deciding the edge is the greater challenge at hand._

"I'm going to give my edge to the Mandalorian's Westar Pistols." Ray put out, "With their accuracy and speed, they'll get the first shot and thus, get the first kill as well."

"I have to give it to the Plasma Caster." Steel disagreed, "With the Westars, you have that slight chance of surviving the first shot. You won't have that chance if you get hit by the Plasma Caster."

_With two experts at even odds, the last vote goes to Lunatic the 121st._

"This is a squad-on-squad battle we're talking about." Lunatic explained, "Multiple, crisscrossing shots for a kill, versus one shot for a kill. I'm going with the one-hit-wonder: the plasma caster."

_In long-range weapons, the edge goes to the Predators with the Plasma Caster._

–

_Mandalorians or Predators? In a head-on fight to the finish, which species would stand victorious? Which one would lie dead on the ground?_

_Our Mandalorian experts believe that their warrior's cold, unrelenting mindsets._

"The difference between a Mandalorian and a Predator is that Predators have no goal." Boba said, coldly, "Predators hunt only for their little 'way of life'. Mandalorians have had goals since the Civil War; they have nothing to lose and everything to gain."

_The Mandalorians bring to the battle the Westar-34 Pistols, Gauntlet-Mounted Flamethrower, Mandalore Sword, and Toxic Dart._

_Our Predator experts believe that their side has the edge because of their drive to succeed in their kills._

"Predators don't have the option to quit." Royce argued, "They don't just hunt for sport; it's their way of life. They'd rather kill themselves than be disgraced by their race."

_The Predators bring the bloodshed with the Plasma Caster, Speargun, Combi Stick, and Smart Disc._

_Both warriors have proven their ability to kill at a distance, but pistols and casters aren't the only arms they bring to the battle. And if the Predators are unfortunate enough, they will end up a pile of cinders by the Mandalorian's bone-roaster..._

_The Gauntlet-Mounted Flamethrower: lightweight, ambush-capable, and capable of spewing flames up to a hundred feet._

Gauntlet-Mounted Flamethrower:  
Size: 7in  
Weight: 2lbs  
Fuel: Napalm  
Range: 100ft

"This is a lightweight and easy weapon to carry." Boba said, holding out a device fitted on his left forearm, "This is, in some ways, better than a blaster. A Jedi can't block this like he would a blaster bolt."

"And just what will this do to a Predator?" Lunatic asked.

"What it'll do is flush them out of the jungle and into our sights." Boba answered.

_To test the deadly effect the flamethrower will have on Predators, our team heads out to the firing range to set up three Predator stand-ins._

Out at the range, a trio of foam torsos in the shape of Predators stood, armed with prop plasma casters and covered in real Predator armor. Boba Fett primed the fuel for his flamethrower before inspecting his targets, carefully choosing what would be the best way to take them out in a short span of time.

"Okay, Boba," Ray said from a safe distance, "You have targets with armor, you have a single tank of fuel to burn, you may fire when ready!"

Boba nodded, chose his path of destruction, then aimed the flamethrower and rained down on the first Predator stand-in with a burst of fire. Flames consumed not just the Predator stand-in, but another one standing right behind it.

After a quick aim, Boba unleashed another torrent of flame at the final Predator torso, sending it up in flames like its brethren. Once all three were no more than unrecognizable, burning masses, Boba nodded in satisfaction and backed away.

_The effects of the flamethrower are mind-boggling._

"These guys are DONE." Ray said, taking a fire extinguisher and putting out the fires, "That armor is of no protection against this weapon. Because this is a chemical fire, it's going to stick to this guy and continue burning him until he's no more than a pile of ash."

"Take note of that for your side." Tal warned to the Predator experts.

"Do you really think a Predator would just sit there and let you hit him?" Dutch asked, "By the time they see you coming, you'll be dead a second later."

_As efficient as the flamethrower is, Team Predator sees more style than substance._

"Flamethrowers wouldn't help humans much against them against Predators." Dutch stated, "It will take an oil well to flush a Predator out of the jungle."

_Predators also packed a wicked weapon that could shred its victim..._

_The Speargun: a wicked firearm that fires flesh-ripping darts to tear through the enemies muscles._

Speargun:  
Size: 2ft  
Weight: 5lbs  
Range: 100ft  
Ammo: 4in darts

"This is the speargun." Royce said, holding up a strange, almost snail-shell-shaped gun, "It catapults these darts hear that can penetrate hard and deep into anything they hit." Royce said, holding up a four-inch, dual-forked dart.

"Why does this dart split like that, anyway?" Lunatic asked.

"More damage." Dutch answered, "By piercing more areas, a Predator has more chance of inflicting life-threatening wounds on his enemy."

_To simulate the speargun's effect on a human victim, Royce will take aim at a ballistics gel torso with the same density as human flesh._

Out at the range, Royce had aimed the speargun at a gel torso about thirty yards downwind.

"Royce, on my mark..." Steel called, "THREE! TWO! ONE! FIRE!"

Royce triggered the arm, which fired a forked dart straight at the torso. The dart penetrated into the torso's gut and, had it been a real human, it would have been sent reeling back a few steps. Another dart hit the torso's shoulder region. And one final shot nailed the gel torso in the area just above the collarbone.

"What we're seeing here," Ray explained, getting in close to the torso, "is something like a staple, but you're firing it from a gun. Giving it two prongs that are very close together is going to be VERY difficult and painful to remove. It's also piercing two areas at once, providing even more wounds and making it very painful both in the body and trying to get it out."

"The real deathblow is here just above the collarbone." Ray stated, wiggling the dart out, "It's going to go into the throat, pierce the spine if it goes fast enough, and if he's lucky, hit the carotid arteries in the neck."

_The speargun is a devastating weapon, but Team Mandalore isn't picking up what it's laying down._

"This is your weapon? You serious?" Boba asked, "First of all, you're bringing a little dart-thrower to a gunfight. It's not even poisoned and you need a lucky shot to kill your target. Second of all, we're wearing armor."

_Mandalorians wear tough armor on their chest, limbs, and head. This armor is made from Mandalorian Iron: one of the few metals that can resist a lightsaber blade._

Tal Ordo took a chestplate and strapped it onto a new torso, then took a Mandalorian helmet and fixed it on the torso's head.

"Take your best shot." Tal challenged, "I guarantee you won't scratch this armor."

_Can the speargun pierce a Mandalorian chestplate?_

Going downwind of his target, Royce aimed the speargun and kept a very focused eye on where he was going to nail his target.

"GO!"

Royce pulled the trigger and the speargun fired its dart at the Mandalorian stand-in...

The dart didn't even penetrate, bouncing right off the chestplate to land with a "clink" on the ground.

As the team went in, Tal smirked. "What'd I tell you?" he asked, feeling over the armor for scratches, "Your gun didn't even penetrate the armor."

"Well, your guy isn't armored everywhere." Dutch countered, "A Predator will hit him in the leg, the arm, or the neck."

"Well, the chest is where all the vital stuff is. You have some pretty small targets with that kind of mindset." Tal countered.

_Weapon-for-weapon, our experts cannot deny which weapon has the edge._

"The Mandalorian armor stood up against that speargun with no problem, giving the Mandalorian an almost-immediate advantage." Lunatic explained, "The Predator's armor will make no difference to the Mandalorian's flamethrower. Because of that, the Mandalorians take this round."

_In mid-range combat, the Mandalorians take the edge with the Gauntlet-mounted Flamethrower._

–

_Mandalorians and Predators are feared across the galaxy as deadly killers, but each has a different reason as to why killing is a necessity._

_Mandalorians, primarily being mercenaries, fight and kill their targets for money. Financers from the Hutts, to the Separatists, to the Empire give them their preferred bounty: sizeable._

"Money can do everything for a Mandalorian." Tal explained, "With money, you can buy weapons, ships, bases, and most importantly, reputation. If you're a bounty hunter with a lot of money, that means you've killed a lot of guys across the galaxy. That means that, because you're so acclaimed, no one will dare cross you."

_Predators base not just their mentality, but their entire culture on killing their targets. Any Predator who failed or was mortally wounded will use one last move to destroy his adversary._

"What happens to a Predator who fails to kill his target?" Dutch asked, "He activates a self-destruct program in his mask that will destroy both himself, and his target if it's unfortunate enough."

_Both warriors have shown their infamous firearms, but both are equally lethal in close-quarter combat with slashing, piercing blades._

_And for Mandalorians, their weapon of choice was the Mandalore Blade: a three-foot blade that's sturdy and gives way to nothing._

Mandalore Blade:  
Size: 3ft  
Weight: 4lbs  
Substance: Mandalorian Iron  
Structure: Single-edge

"This is a Mandalore Blade." Tal Ordo said, showing off a sleek, katana-shaped sword, "It's made of the same material as our armor: one of the few lightsaber-resistant metals along with phrik and vibro."

"And how would a Mandalorian use this weapon?" Lunatic asked, "I thought you guys were primarily gunners."

"Mandalorians would use this if they lost their gun or ran out of ammunition." Tal answered, "Comes in handy while fighting Jedi, but as they slowly dwindled, this became less frequent. Still, it can be used for torture, hand-to-hand combat, whatever you need to use it for."

_To test a Mandalore Blade's mettle against a realistic target, our team sets up a fake Predator torso complete with armor and with the same resistance as the alien creature's body._

Tal Ordo stared at his masked enemy, his whole body coiled like a spring. In front of him was a gel Predator complete with the usual Predator attire.

"Tal, you ready?" Steel asked.

"Yeah!"

"THREE! TWO! ONE! CUT 'EM UP!"

Tal sprung forward, bringing his sword down on the Predator's wrist, cleaving the hand free of the Predator's body. One more slash spilled the Predator's guts, dyeing the test table red with blood.

"Who's hunting who now, huh?" Tal asked, taking a hack at the torso's shoulder, almost severing the arm, "Who's the prey item now, huh?" And with that question, he took the blade to the gel predator's neck just below the mask, almost beheading the creature stand-in.

"Okay, that first strike took the Predator's hand off, which if untreated, could kill within the hour." Ray explained, "The second strike would spill his organs. The armor weathered out the worst of the shoulder strike, but then he came and hit him in the neck. NO species I've seen can survive having its neck severed. All nerve activity from the brain is cut off, so he's as good as dead."

"There's a problem with that." Dutch pointed out, "Predators can withstand massive trauma. They've been shot and could still move around."

"Too bad that gun or blade wasn't in the hands of a Mandalorian." Boba countered.

"Well, a Predator has a weapon coming up that is twice the length of your sword." Dutch said, hinting a challenge.

_A Predator's main weapon for keeping his enemies at a good distance...the Combi Stick: two meters of thrusting power that can impale a person in a single thrust._

Combi Stick:  
Size: 3-6ft  
Weight: 4lbs  
Substance: Alien Steel  
Function: Retractable

"This is a Predator Spear or Combi Stick." Dutch said, holding out a three-foot spear with a black handle and jagged spearheads on each end, "A Predator uses the head on each end for stabbing, the shaft for blocking, it can also be thrown, and it comes with a little added function." With it, Dutch pressed a button and each end of the spear extended, doubling the weapon's length to six feet.

"I'm going to guess that the retraction can be used as a surprise attack, too?" Steel asked.

"Absolutely. You think it's a short, useless weapon? Boom-you're dead." Royce answered.

"Well, Dutch, we got just the test for you." Steel challenged, indicating to a full-body ballistics gel torso covered in Mandalorian chestplate and helmet, "We got us a Mandalorian stand-in and you're going to take your best shot at this guy."

"Bring it on." Dutch said with a nod.

Dutch took a battle-ready pose, spear in both hands, its tip pointing forward at the armored torso.

"Three, two, one, GO!" Steel said, quickly.

Dutch thrust the spear just below the dummy's chestplate, running all the way through the dummy, piercing out the dummy's back, spewing blood all across the floor. Dutch pulled the spear out, backed up a good distance, then hurtled the Combi Stick at the torso like a javelin.

The spear-like weapon whistled through the air and nailed the Mandalorian stand-in clean in the waist, sticking itself just above the hip bone. Nodding in satisfaction, Dutch beckoned the experts over for further inspection.

"The thing that I like about spear weapons is that it's a guarantee-stopping weapon wherever it hits the body." Ray explained, "That thrust to the gut narrowly missed the spine, but you clearly see that it hits the intestines and liver. That thrust was a kill." the former SOLDIER then gestured to the projecting spear from the throw, "THIS is also a kill: it's ruptured the intestines, so he's going to get excrement spilling out, which will fungate and slowly, but surely, kill him."

_The Combi Stick is terrifyingly deadly, but not enough to impress Team Mandalore._

"This can't hold a candle to my sword." Tal said, shaking his head.

"Do you really want to get close to me when I'm holding this?" Dutch asked, "I can keep a six-foot radius between us."

"Your weapon's good at thrusting and throwing." Tal answered, "With my sword, I can slash, I can thrust, and I'm not letting going to willfully disarm myself by throwing it."

"Too bad you'll be dead before a Predator lets you get that close." Dutch stated.

_Both Mandalorian and Predator have proven their worth, but our experts are divided on which weapon gets the edge: Mandalore Blade or Combi Stick._

"I'm giving my edge to the Combi Stick." Steel pointed out, "With the length of that weapon, I'm not sure a Mandalorian will want to get that close."

"I have to disagree." Lunatic said with a shake of his head, "The Combi stick only has two options: stab or throw. The Mandalore Sword is a 'don't let go' weapon and it can stab and hack at its target."

_With two on opposite ends, the decision falls to Sgt. Reynol to decide._

"The combi stick is a devastating weapon wherever it hits, no doubt about it." Ray admitted, "But it's possible to evade the initial thrust and get in close, out of its range. With the Mandalore Sword, you can close the distance between you and your enemy, but still be able to deal a deadly blow. My edge goes to the Mandalore Sword."

_The decision is made: the Mandalorian gets the edge in close-range weapons with his sword._

–

_The final battle between Mandalorians and Predators is closing in. Both warriors are fueled by necessity and come from a culture of violence._

_Our Mandalorian experts believe that their warriors have an edge with their ability to get in a good first shot._

"Mandalorians have to be good shooters." Boba said, not to explain, but to confirm, "A single misplaced shot could mean life or death for a Mandalorian warrior. That's why we strive to be perfect and beyond perfect marksmen."

_A Mandalorian's main learning strategy is to find flaw even in perfection. By finding that flaw, they will strive to do better than any past instance._

_But the Predator experts disagree: they believe that the vicious alien species will win because of their sheer brutality._

"A Predator can out-muscle any human." Dutch explained, "One killed most of my men, more than that, actually. It took all I had in order to kill it. They are that strong."

_A Predator's strength was seen in Central America: a battalion of special ops was stalked by a single Predator. The monster killed them all one-by-one, until Dutch was the only survivor. He successfully killed the beast, barely escaping with his life._

_And when it came to Special Weapons, both packed lethal projectile weapons._

"By the time you realize that you're hit with this, you're already a dead man." Boba said, holding up a sleek, multi-pronged dart.

_The Toxic Dart: with a lethal storage of toxic liquid, it can be concealed on a Mandalorian's gauntlet for a quick and easy assassination._

Toxic Dart:  
Size: 1.5in  
Range: 200ft  
Substance: Toxic liquid, Mandalorian alloys  
Fired: Wrist launcher

"This is a special dart made in Kamino." Boba said, handing each expert a multi-pronged dart, "This is for silencing our enemy without attracting a crowd. Doesn't bang or smoke like a blaster, and death is instantaneous wherever you hit them."

"What kind of poison is in this thing. Just curious..." Lunatic asked, making sure not to prick his fingers.

"It's actually a mixture." Tal answered, "The more poisons you have in it, the more effects it will have and the harder it will become to heal."

"This is your weapon?" Royce asked, "A tiny little piece of metal?"

"One that kills." Boba corrected in a cold voice.

"Guess what? A Predator's wearing armor." Royce said, holding up a Predator mask, "I don't think you'll take one out that easily with that dart."

"Do I smell a challenge?" Boba asked.

"Take your best shot."

_To test the accuracy of a Mandalorian's toxic dart, our team sets up a gel Predator torso with matching armor and mask._

"I have to tell you, Boba, I'm a little worried." Steel pointed out, "There's a lot of armor on this guy's chest, head, arms, and legs. How will you do this?"

"First, a Mandalorian will carry six darts. Multiple shots matter the most. And second, we aim for the softer parts of armor: the neck, the gut, and the underarm."

"I want to see that. Six darts, I want you to hit all the areas you think you can." Steel said, then he and Boba backed away from the torso. The difference was that Steel kept going until he was out of range while Boba stopped about forty yards downwind of his target.

_Team Mandalore boasts accuracy, but will the armor prove more than they can handle?_

"Boba, you may fire when ready." Steel called.

Boba nodded, confirming the command, then took careful aim and fired. Without a sound, the dart flew through the air and buried itself into the torso's unprotected gut with a "thwip" sound. Boba took aim again, fired again, and hit the Predator's unprotected underarm and hit the other one with just as much accuracy.

Then came the hard part, Boba took careful aim, then fired. The dart struck the gel predator in the neck, earning a nod from the bounty hunter as he gestured for the experts to come in.

"Okay, these darts obviously don't have a lot of penetrating power: you need at least two inches' penetration to do decent damage." Ray explained, "But that poison is getting in their systems and I'm not sure if a Predator has any immunity to something this complex and deadly."

"I also didn't think you were going to be this accurate with your darts at that distance." Steel said, sounding impressed, "You nailed all the soft spots on your target, you're getting the poison in, this guy will be down very quickly."

"I think you're missing a few vital elements." Royce said, butting in, "First off, you're going to need extreme accuracy or luck to hit those places. And second, those shots would have been very difficult to pull off with a moving target."

"Suppose you've got something better?" Boba suggested, raising a brow under his helmeted head.

"With the weapon a Predator brings, they don't need to be accurate. If it touches you, you're in trouble." Dutch confirmed.

_The Predator brings his own projectile weapon: a razor-sharp slaying disc._

_The Smart Disc: thrown or used in close quarter-combat, it will amputate limbs and punch holes._

Smart Disc:  
Size: 8" diameter  
Weight: 3lbs  
Range: 100ft  
Substance: Unknown alloys

"This is a Predator Smart Disc." Royce said, holding up a jade-green disc with what appeared to be finger holes just behind the edges, "This is razor-sharp and Predators would use this for two reasons: close-quarter combat..." to emphasize his point, Royce gripped the disc's inside and took a few practice swings, "And it can be thrown, too."

"What kind of penetration power are we talking about here?" Lunatic asked, keeping a reasonable distance between him and the weapon.

"This will go through anything." Dutch answered, "It'll go through trees, flesh, even metal if it's thrown hard enough."

"I need to see that to believe it." Steel said, meeting the challenge, "And we have just the thing." He gestured to three objects: a massive side of beef, a wooden target log, and a sheet of metal. "We have flesh, we have wood, we have metal. You'll have three discs, so take your best shot."

Royce took his first disc, his whole body tensed like a spring.

"Royce, you ready?" Steel asked.

"Yeah!"

"THREE! TWO! ONE! THROW IT!"

Royce pulled back the first disc, then threw it like some kind of killer frisbee. The Smart Disc whistled through the air and, when it hit the beef (which was almost as wide as two people), it went clean through it and actually lodged itself in the wall behind it. THIS earned a fair share of applause from the experts.

Royce, enjoying the attention, threw the second disc at the target log. When the smart disc hit the log, the piece of wood looked like it had been cut by a jigsaw. It was that clean a cut.

Royce took the final Smart Disc, then threw it in an overhand throw. It hit the metal with a kind of "thunk" and revealed that it had been lodged into the slab of steel. Half of it was visible on each side; that deep a penetration.

"AMAZING!" Steel said, practically laughing, "I think this is the first weapon to cut metal outside the Yuuzhan Vong arsenal. Congratulations, Royce!" To compliment it, he and Royce bumped fists.

"This was the first hit: he went through everything: fat, muscle, bone, organs, they're all done for with this weapon." Ray said, inspecting the beef slab, "I wouldn't have been surprised if it got through three or four beef slabs. But it's the metal that's most impressive: if this had been a Mandalorian wearing this as armor, it's of no protection."

"Hate to bite you with your own words, but that will be difficult considering you're up against moving targets." Tal pointed out.

"Yes, but our armor can hold up against your dart." Dutch countered, "Your armor won't save you."

"I hate to break it to you, Mandalorians, but your accuracy isn't enough. In a simulation where kill factors matter most, deathblows are the most important thing here." Lunatic said, shaking his head, "Congratulations, Predator experts, the smart disc takes this round." On seeing that Tal looked ready to object, only to meet Lunatic's hand, "Don't say anything. Edge: Smart Disc."

_In special weapons, the Smart Disc gives the Predator a deadly edge._

–

_With our final tests run, our experts are ready to find out which deadly hunter is the Deadliest Warrior._

_Merciless Mandalorian vs. Power-Packing Predator._

_We tested four weapons of the Predator's lethal arsenal: the Plasma Caster, Speargun, Combi Stick, and Smart Disc._

_We also tested four traditional arms of the Mandalorians: the Westar-34 Pistols, Gauntlet Flamethrower, Mandalore Sword, and Toxic Darts._

_In long-range combat, the Mandalorian's sharpshooting Westar pistols were pitted against the Predator's annihilating Plasma Caster._

"The Mandalorians just might have a chance with their quick-draw fire, but the chances of a kill are higher with the Plasma Caster: one hit, one kill."

Edge: Predator

_In mid-range combat, both packed other forms of firearms: the Gauntlet Flamethrower and the Speargun._

"The Speargun is a terrifying weapon, but it proved ineffective against Mandalorian body armor. A Predator's armor will not protect it from the nightmare that is the flamethrower. Edge to the flamethrower."

Edge: Mandalorian

_In close-quarter weapons, both hunters clashed steel as the Combi Stick battled the Mandalore Sword._

"Both are lethal weapons, but the Mandalore Sword is not a let-go or throw weapon like the Combi-Stick. It also has a wider variety of options; options mean chances of kill, that's where my vote goes to."

Edge: Mandalorian

_Finally, both unleashed their terrifying special weapons: Mandalorian Toxic Darts and Predator Smart Discs._

"Both these weapons can kill in an instant, but without the precision factor of the dart, the Smart Disc will see more kills when it hits. Armor won't protect a Mandalorian from it."

Edge: Predator

_With the stats in, Lunatic will input the data into a computer program developed by Slytherine Studios to decide the victor. To prevent a lucky blast from snaring defeat, Lunatic sets it up for a five-on-five squad battle and will run the battle a thousand times._

_Predator...Mandalorian...winner takes all._

"Data's all set, so let's get this thing on." Steel said, gesturing to the keyboard.

"Yes. Let's..." Lunatic said, then pressed the enter key and began the battle.

-the fight-

Deep in the territories of a jungle planet, a five-unit group of Predators stalked through the dense vegitation, on the lookout for prey: human prey to be precise. Their silvery, horrific masks were identifiable anywhere as were their dreadlock-esque tentacles.

Just a hundred yards away, an encampment of sorts lay at the foot of a great tree: a bunker with a few other crude hideouts and an underground tunnel. Inside this bunker was a five-man group of Mandalorians, honing their combat skills by practicing with each other. One was working on quick-drawing his Westar pistols, making sure his aim would not be off in the slightest. Two were mapping out a plan on paper, probably planning on raiding a nearby base. And another two were practicing with their swords, slowly practicing the best moves for any combat situation.

Outside the base's front entrance, the Predators arrived. While their masks did pick up human body heat, making them enter as stealthily as they could, they had triggered a small tripwire laser. The alarm that it triggered wasn't loud, but it certainly caught the attention of the Mandalorians inside.

All reacted quickly as they aimed for the door and hid behind any support beams, doorways, and equipment they could to act as cover. One loaded his gauntlet with flamethrower fuel as well as a few darts while the others with their swords hid just ahead of the entryway.

The Predators walked through the doorway where the Mandalorians hid, and then the battle broke out and it broke out fast.

Mandalorians: 5  
Predators: 5

One Mandalorian whipped out his pistol faster than the body could respond and emitted a blast of crimson energy. The blast, which pelted the first Predator in sight in the midsection, was quickly accompanied by another. The second hit the Predator in the face, sending it to the ground, dead as a doornail.

Mandalorians: 5  
Predators: 4

The Predators responded quickly and blue blasts of energy accompanied the red ones, incinerating whatever they hit. Unfortunately, one of those blasts happened to hit the Mandalorian who had fired the first shot. With a scream and an explosion of flesh, blood, metal, and body parts, little evidence remained of his existence.

Mandalorians: 4  
Predators: 4

As the firefight continued, one of the Mandalorians unsheathed his sword as he stealthily made his way around the firefight until he was behind enemy lines. With a roar, he charged one of the closer Predators, but was met with a surprise: another Predator, this one armed with a Combi Stick, came from nowhere, raised his spear-like weapon and blocked the sword with the shaft.

The Mandalorian tried to strike again only to be pushed back with the shaft of the Predator's weapon. Both circled briefly before the Predator charged and thrust with his spear. The Mandalorian swiftly evaded the thrust, grabbed the combi stick, then swung his blade. The Predator howled in pain as its hand fell free of its body and hung, limply from the shaft of the spear. Seizing his opportunity, the Mandalorian took his sword in both hands. With one mighty swing, the blade severed the Predator's helmeted head.

Mandalorians: 4  
Predators: 3

His enemy dead, the Mandalorian charged the rest of the enemies. But it proved to be the last mistake he would make: one of the Predators took a smart disc and threw it at him in a horizontal throw. The disc hit the Mandalorian smack-dab in the face, lodging itself in his helmet and killing him in one, swift strike.

Mandalorians: 3  
Predators: 3

The Mandalorians saw that their enemies were packing a lot more firepower than they had expected, so they made a mad dash for the exit, the Predators hot on their heels. Once they were outside the bunker, they split up, and the Predators were quick to follow.

One of the Mandalorians turned, then fired his Westar pistol only to hit a tree as the Predator took cover. The Predator took a speargun, then returned fire. The darts hit the Mandalorian, but in possibly the worst place: the chestplate.

When the prong-headed darts hit the Mandalorian's chestplate, he did a quick inspect, then raised his gauntlet and fired a single dart at the Predator's midsection. The dart struck the Predator in its unprotected gut. And for a brief second, the Predator looked as though nothing had happened. It used that time to trigger the Plasma Caster on its shoulder and blew the Mandalorian to Kingdom Come.

Mandalorians: 2  
Predators: 3

The Predator stood tall, but just a second after his kill, the dart's poison began to sink in. He felt himself growing weaker and weaker at a phenomenal rate. Eventually, it took its toll and the Predator slumped to the ground, laying perfectly still.

Mandalorians: 2  
Predators: 2

One Mandalorian made his way into a crude fort, but upon seeing that he had hit a dead end, he turned and aimed his pistol just as the Predator was about to turn the corner. The blast glanced the Predator, knocking its mask free of its face.

What awaited him was a horrible sight: the Predator's face had an insectoid face with fiery-red eyes, sharp teeth, and four mandibles that spread out to reveal the teeth as the Predator roared its challenge. That itself was enough to make the Mandalorian cringe in terror.

The Predator fired its Plasma Caster only to miss as the Mandalorian sidestepped the blast. In the split-second it took for the Mandalorian to aim his Westar again, the Predator drew a Combi stick, closed the distance between him and the Mandalorian and smacked the pistol from his hand.

The Mandalorian drew his sword and swung at the Predator only to meet the combi stick in a vertical block. The Predator pulled back his spear-like weapon, then jammed it into the Mandalorian's thigh. As the Mandalorian cried out in pain, the Predator pulled out his spear, then jammed it into his midsection.

The Mandalorian coughed and wheezed violently, blood spurting from his mouth and his wound, then fell to his knees. When the Predator withdrew his combi stick, the Mandalorian fell lifeless to the ground.

Mandalorians: 1  
Predators: 2

The Last Mandalorian made his way to the underground tunnel on the fringes of the encampment, a Predator hot on his heels. Just halfway through the distance, he turned, took a pair of Westar pistols from his belt, and hip-fired.

The Predator narrowly dodged the first blast, but the second one caught him on the shoulder. A third battered his leg, and each and every blast after blew hole after hole in its chest. It tried to stay standing, but soon fell to its knees. One final blast to the head finished him off and he finally slumped to the ground.

Mandalorians: 1  
Predators: 1

A whistling, disc-shaped blade narrowly missed his chest and the Mandalorian retreated as the last, mask-less Predator charged for him. He turned to return fire from his pistols, only missing on each fire. Firing at an enemy while on the move was a very difficult task, and he was evading fire from the Predator's speargun in the process. He had just crossed the distance between him and the tunnel when his guns clicked empty. Tossing the useless weapons to the ground, he raced down the stairs as fast as he could.

The Predator still had ammo to burn as he followed his target into the tunnel. The tunnel was dimly-lit, but that made no difference to his infrared vision and he could even see the Mandalorian sprinting down the tunnel and grab something.

Too bad he would kill him before he could use it.

A combi stick landed, point-first, in the ground, missing the Mandalorian's leg by inches as he staggered to his feet to face his enemy. The Predator roared, then charged the Mandalorian before shoulder-tackling him to the ground. The Mandalorian grunted in pain as he hit the ground hard and fast, but didn't have time to recover when the Predator picked him up by the neck and began to apply pressure...

Then was engulfed in a worm of flame.

The Predator howled in agony, releasing the Mandalorian in the process as it writhed about. Flames licked its body, charring its flesh, until he crumbled to the ground and lay smoking on the ground.

Mandalorians: 1  
Predators: 0

The Mandalorian, panting for breath, looked at his burning enemy, then let out a sigh in relief. He had done it.

-end-

_**Winner: Mandalorians**_

"Over the course of a thousand battles, our Mandalorians proved victorious." Lunatic explained, "This was due to the ineffectiveness of the Predator's speargun and the fact that the Mandalorians were able to get the first shot and the first kill faster than the Predators."

Mandalorian Kills...  
Westar Pistols: 267  
Flamethrower: 194  
Mandalore Sword: 61  
Toxic Darts: 24  
All-in-all Kills: 546

Predator Kills...  
Plasma Caster: 312  
Speargun: 21  
Combi Stick: 35  
Smart Disc: 86  
All-in-all Kills: 454

"The reason for this outcome, I think, was that the Predators' weapons are more hunt-based in comparison to the Mandalorians' combat-based weapons." Ray explained, "It's good for sneaking up on and catching your enemy by surprise, but in a head-to-head showdown, combat-efficient weapons win."

"The Mandalorians got LUCKY." Dutch said, shaking his head.

"There's a reason Mandalorians are the most feared bounty hunters in the galaxy." Boba said, coldly, "We kill, we do it quickly, and no one's left alive because we are the Deadliest Warrior."

(A Mandalorian spins a pair of pistols on his fingers, then aims them before firing, making the screen snap to black)

_With apologies to Predator fans everywhere..._

_Now, for something new. THIS time, I'm taking suggestions for warriors, weapons, and matchups. So, hit me with your best shot._


	24. Captain America vs King Bradley

_**The following is based off analysis of the two media warriors' weapons and put under fair testing. I do not own the creations of Stan Lee or Hiromu Arakawa.**_

**Fuhrer King Bradley**

(A mustached man with an eye patch took a sword in hand, then thrust it forward, his face cold as ice.)

The Fuhrer of Amestris who, in secret, threatened the very existence of the planet, manipulating and killing all who knew his diabolical secret.

(Bradley races past a small brigade of his soldiers, a sword in hand. With his blade, he cut down a squadron of guerilla warriors.)

**Captain America**

(A muscular man in a red, white, and blue uniform took a circular shield and held it in a defensive position.)

The American-made Super-Soldier from World War II, who prevented a change in the war, and now fights for his country in the present day.

(Captain America charges a group of HYDRA soldiers, bullets bouncing off his raised shield, and then smashes his shield into a soldier, breaking mentioned soldier's neck in the process.)

_WHO…IS…DEADLIEST?  
To find out, our world-class fighters are testing fiction's most lethal weapons. Using twenty-first century science, we see what happens when the two warriors go toe-to-toe._

No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is…

_**The DEADLIEST WARRIOR**_

The fight club was decorated with firearms from iconic moments of the past: rifles, machine guns, pistols, and close-quarter weapons; each from different times and different countries of origin.

_Welcome to the fight club: a proverbial battlezone where scientists, doctors, and weapons experts have gathered, all to see who will win between two "super soldiers" of their respective times and countries._

Captain America: the frail man turned American super-soldier who helped change the tide of World War II…

VS.

King Bradley: the home-grown superman who became Fuhrer of Amestris and slaughtered enemies of the state.

Captain America:  
Height: 6'2"  
Weight:240lbs  
Age: 28  
Equipment: 24lbs  
Circa: 1944

King Bradley:  
Height: 5'10"  
Weight: 176lbs  
Age: 60  
Equipment: 23lbs  
Circa: 1914

A young man wearing a Marvel shirt held up a rifle before looking down the sights.

_A media man and biomedical engineer, __**Tohokari-Steel**__, will gather the data that these two super-soldiers' weapons can unleash._

"I LOVE this episode." Steel said, excitedly, "These two are packing weapons from famous battles in their respective worlds: World War II and the Amestris Rebellion. I can't wait to see what they'll do in battle against each other."

Another young man, this one in a black army beret and getup worthy of SOLDIER inspected a nasty slash wound in a gel torso's neck.

_Biologist and weapons expert, __**Sgt. Reynol**__, will inspect the trauma inflicted by each of the warriors' weapons._

"On one hand, you have Captain America. He's a young man and in his prime, but then you have Bradley who is more than sixty years old and probably just as fit. It's a battle of young and fit vs. old and experienced. It's an interesting contrast between the two."

A teen with wild, spiky, red hair sat at a computer, looking over information on both America and Bradley.

_Computer wiz, __**Lunatic the 121st**__, will input the test data into a computer program to simulate a true-to-life confrontation between the two super soldiers._

"To set the record straight, we've had to put these two warriors into different timelines. Captain America is from 1944, the peak of World War II, and Fuhrer Bradley from 1914: the time of the Coup d'état in Amestris."

_Because of the lethality of these two arsenals, Lunatic sets the battle to be five-on-five. Captain America and four American GIs will face off against King Bradley and four Amestris soldiers. The winner will be crowned "Deadliest Warrior"._

A middle-aged man with an eye patch, military getup, and graying temples took a pistol in hand, testing how it felt in the hands of a warrior.

_Captain America's weapons will be wielded by __**Colonel Nick Fury**__. Nick is an army veteran who, thanks to his slowed aging process, actually fought in World War II._

"I don't know who this Bradley guy is, but he's got no chance against Cap." Fury said, shaking his head, "There's a thirty-year gap between the two, and you're pitting a highly-trained human against someone who was good to go from the beginning."

Another man, this one with odd hair, side burns, and an animalistic aura to him took a rifle in hand. He was clad, in contrast to Fury, a gray t-shirt and jeans.

_Also fighting for Captain America is __**Wolverine**__. Wolverine is a WWII veteran and actually fought alongside the super soldier during his last WWII battle in 1945._

"I only knew Captain America for a short time, but I'm still going to need a good bit of convincing if Bradley can ever stand a chance." Wolverine said, arms folded across his chest, "Cap is determined, loyal, and is going to give his all to the death."

_Captain America didn't start out as a hero. In the beginning, he was just a frail man named Steve Rogers. When recruitment in America during WWII began, Steve was rejected repeatedly because of his poor physicality._

"Cap started out as nobody." Fury narrated, "He was a ninety-eight-pound weakling, but then came an opportunity that he just couldn't turn down."

_Steve's moment of glory came when a scientist came to him and gave him an offer to become much more than he already was. Through a series of injections, ingested formulas, and inhaled gases, Steve would emerge in peak physical condition and America's super soldier was born._

Fighting decisive battles in World War II, Captain America also prevented an explosive assault on the United States. It cast him into freezing waters and, thanks to the Super Soldier serum preserving his body, was rediscovered in the twenty-first century and fights to this day.

_However, the opposing side bears a super-soldier of its own; one two experts say is far more cutthroat: Fuhrer King Bradley._

A woman with long, blonde hair, a blue uniform, and a fierce gleam in her eyes took a sword in a diagonal slash.

_Providing insight on Fuhrer Bradley is __**Olivier Mira Armstrong**__. Armstrong is a world-class sword-fighter and a Major General in the northern land of Briggs, a land that harbors some of Amestris' most powerful soldiers._

"Captain America stands no chance against Bradley." Olivier stated, her hand on her sword, "I hate to admit it, but Bradley has a thirst for blood that this man has never seen before. In just a short span of time, Captain America's blood will be gathering on the ground."

Another woman, this one with black hair tied back in a ponytail, pulled back the bolt of a rifle before looking down its sights.

_A member of the East City's military, __**Rebecca Catalina**__, will test the firearms of the Amestris. She is also a close friend of Riza Hawkeye, a trusted lieutenant of the famed Flame Alchemist, Roy Mustang._

"Captain America has only been fighting as a soldier for a few years. It can't compare to the combat experience of Bradley, who is over sixty years old and still fit for battle." Rebecca said with a shrug.

_Born in the mid-nineteenth century, the boy who would become King Bradley had no name, no family, and no past life. His only purpose was to be trained in hand-to-hand combat, swordplay, and marksmanship so that he could become Fuhrer of Amestris._

"Bradley was among a group of expendables training to one day rule the country." Armstrong explained, "But the real changing point for him was the final part of his 'training'."

_For one final test, Bradley was injected with a philosopher's stone. The process had killed all before him, and yet he was the only one to survive. The process gave him enhanced vision and, in his adult years, he became the Fuhrer of Amestris and apprehended anything he deemed a "threat to the state"._

_But in a head-to-head clash, which of these two home-grown super soldiers will walk away with his life?_

"Captain America's goal, in this fight, would be to take out Bradley." Fury said with a slightly smug-looking grin, "Bradley is oppressing the land of Amestris and apprehending those doing the right thing. Cap will want to take him down."

"Bradley would want nothing more than to take out Captain America." Armstrong said, sternly, "Captain America, to him, is an enemy of the state. He is a threat to his reputation and his life, so the only logical thing for Bradley to do is kill him."

_Both of these warriors are used to urban warfare and, in this episode, we will witness the process step-by-step._

"Alright, both these warriors have similar attack patterns when it comes to battling in the urban environment." Ray said, looking over each arsenal, "They have rifles for long-range, submachine guns for mid-range, and pistols and melee weapons for close-range combat. Because of the way the urban battle begins, the fight will begin at long-range."

_Our two warriors begin with long-range rifles to pick off enemy scouts, snipers, or sentries. They would then move into the city and use submachine guns to take out any enemies on the city streets, and finally, try to seize any important buildings with a combination of pistols and melee weapons._

_Bradley's long-range rifle of choice is the Gewehr 98: a bolt action weapon that can take out enemies more than five-hundred yards away._

Gewehr 98 Rifle  
Size: 4ft  
Weight: 9lbs  
Ammunition: 8x57mm IS  
Rounds: 5  
Range: 550yd  
Action: Bolt Action

Out at the firing range, Rebecca held out the iconic infantry rifle. "This is the Gewehr 98: Amestris soldiers' key choice of weapon when it came to sniping." The brunette said, demonstrating its bolt action, "Holds five rounds and, with its range, you can just find high ground and keep killing without people even knowing you were there."

"What's the range on this thing?" Steel asked, "Iron sights only."

"You can take someone out at five-fifty yards without any scopes attached." Rebecca answered.

"That's your weapon?" Wolverine asked, brow raised, "Working the bolt like that would probably throw off your aim. With Cap's gun, we can shoot AND keep an eye on the enemy."

_Captain America's go-to rifle is the M1 Garand: America's iconic weapon for World War II combat._

M1 Garand  
Size: 3.5ft  
Weight: 9.5lbs  
Ammunition: 7.62x51mm  
Rounds: 8  
Range: 440yd  
Action: Semi-Automatic

"I used this weapon in World War II." Wolverine said, holding up the iconic gun, "It's saved the lives of many American soldiers in Europe, many of which I fought with."

"Wow. You're old." Lunatic said, eyes wide.

"I know." Wolverine growled, then got back on the subject of the gun, "This gun is semi-automatic. That means I don't have to waste time reloading and getting my sights back. I can keep enemies in my sight without taking my eye off them to reload."

"Right. It's semi-automatic, so you just have to pull the trigger to fire another round." Steel said with a nod in understanding.

_To test the effectiveness of each rifle, both Wolverine and Rebecca will take aim at eight targets placed at two-hundred yards: the average range of fire in both World Wars.  
Rebecca will go first with the Gewehr…_

Rebecca lay flat on the ground, then pushed a five-round clip into the stock of her rifle. Pushing the bolt back into place, she took aim at the first target.

"Rebecca, you ready?" Steel called.

"Yep!"

"Three! Two! One! FIRE AWAY!"

BANG!

The first shot from Rebecca's rifle nailed one of the targets dead in the collarbone, earning "ooh's" from the experts. Rebecca pulled back the bolt of the rifle, ejecting the empty shell in the process, then took aim again. She did, however, have to move her head in order to do so. Had she not, the bolt action would bump into her face.

Gewehr Kills: 1  
Rounds Left: 9

Rebecca fired at a target just next to the one she nailed: a miss. A quick bolt-action later and the target was struck right in the gut. The next target was hit right on the right side of its chest, and after that, his buddy received a graze.

Gewehr Kills: 3  
Rounds Left: 5

Rebecca pulled back the bolt, then reached into a pouch and pulled out a spare clip. It earned her a roll of the eyes from Fury and Wolverine while she pushed it into the stock of her gun. When it was fully reloaded, she got back down to business.

With a "bang", she nailed the grazed target in the gut with her rifle.

Gewehr Kills: 4  
Rounds Left: 4

She worked the bolt action quickly, then fired. She missed this time. Another shot, however, was a bit luckier, for it hit the target right between the eyes. Another shot hit a target in its lower-left abdomen.

Gewehr Kills: 6  
Rounds Left: 1

Rebecca took one last aim down her sights, then fired at the remaining target. The round hit just beneath the dummy's left eye, leaving a blood-red hole.

Gewehr Kills: 7  
Rounds Left: 0

"DONE!" Rebecca called.

"Alright, I counted up your time and your killshots." Steel brought up as Rebecca got up and walked over, "You fired ten shots, seven of which were kill shots, two were misses, and one was a graze wound. That's still not a bad hit-to-miss ratio there."

"I'm a little worried, though, that it took precious seconds to reload and work the bolt action." Ray pointed out, "If your opponent catches you in that moment of weakness, he can exploit it REAL easy."

"This thing has an effective range of five-fifty yards, so I'll be sure to kill them before they kill me." Rebecca said, holding up her gun.

"Talk all you want." Wolverine said, then held up the M1, "With this gun, I can do just as much in half the time."

_Now it's team America's turn to take out just as many targets with the M1 Garand._

Wolverine lay on the ground, then pushed an eight-round clip into the rifle's stock. He readied himself, eyes focused on the eight targets in his range.

"Logan, you ready?" Steel called.

"I'm ready, bub."

"Three! Two! One! OPEN FIRE!"

Wolverine pulled the trigger of his M1 and landed his first shot right on the first target's left ribcage: an instant-killshot.

Garand Kills: 1  
Rounds Left: 15

Without wasting time, Wolverine aimed the rifle at the second target and fired again. This shot missed, but a quick adjustment of aim quickly fixed the problem. A bleeding bullet wound in the dummy's throat proved the speed of adjustment. Wolverine fired again, hitting the third target in the shoulder. Just to make sure it was dead, Wolverine fired again, hitting it in the lower abdominal region.

Garand Kills: 3  
Rounds Left: 11

Wolverine fired twice at one dummy, each one hitting the next target's abdomen. Both were mortal wounds: something Wolverine was more than happy to dish out.

Garand Kills: 4  
Rounds Left: 9

Wolverine aimed, then fired a single round at his next target, hitting dead-center of the chest. But a split-second after the round was fired, the rifle ejected the empty clip with a resounding "ping". All three experts started a little, the noise surprising them.

Garand Kills: 5  
Rounds Left: 8

_A common flaw of the M1 Garand: it ejects its clip very noisily. If this were a real combat situation, and if Logan were in hiding and picking off enemies, the enemy would become aware of his position._

Wolverine reached into a pouch on his belt, pulled out a spare eight-round clip, then loaded it into his gun's stock before returning to firing position.

BANG!

A crimson wound was torn in the neck of Wolverine's next target, dyeing the foam torso's shoulder to top it all off.

Garand Kills: 6  
Rounds Left: 7

Wolverine aimed again, then fired at target number seven. The bullet hit the hip area; a delayed kill, but a mortal wound nonetheless through rupturing intestines.

Garand Kills: 7  
Rounds Left: 6

Wolverine took aim at the last target, aimed, then fired only to miss. He cursed under his breath, then fired again, hitting the target's shoulder. One final shot nailed the last target in the center mass of the face.

Garand Kills: 8  
Rounds Left: 3

"Done!"

"Nice shooting, Logan." Steel congratulated, "From what I gathered, you did kill the targets faster, but your shooting was a little sloppier."

"I have more rounds in my gun, ammo to spare, and I don't have to waste time working bolt-action." Wolverine defended, "As long as my enemies are dead, I'm happy."

_Both the Gewehr and the Garand prove their worth in accuracy, but which weapon gives their warrior the edge?_

"While I admit that the Gewehr has the superior range and its limited ammunition can force the user to take the time to place their shots, it can't compare to the M1. It doesn't restrict your vision, has a good range of its own, and it's semi-automatic." Lunatic said, counting off his fingers, "I'm giving the edge to the M1 Garand."

_In long-range weapons, the edge goes to Captain America for the M1 Garand._

_But the battle is just heating up. After taking out sentries and lookouts, the two soldiers would storm the city, taking with them their lead-spitting submachine guns._

_The submachine gun of the Amestris Army was the MP18: the world's very first portable machine gun._

MP18  
Size: 2.5ft  
Weight: 9lbs  
Ammunition: 7.63 Mauser  
Rounds: 32  
Rate of Fire: 500rpm  
Range: 100yd

"This is the pride and joy of gun development: the MP18." Armstrong said, holding up a submachine gun with a strange magazine jutting from its left side: something like a cross between a drum and a box magazine, "It fires five-hundred rounds per minute, carries thirty-two rounds."

_But Team America has their own iconic submachine gun; the M3 "Grease Gun": a forty-five-cal, rapid-fire slaughtering machine._

M3 "Grease Gun"  
Size: 2.5ft  
Weight: 8lbs  
Ammunition: .45 ACP  
Rounds: 30  
Rate of Fire: 450rpm  
Range: 80yd

"This is the M3 submachine gun, or 'Grease Gun' as it's more commonly known as." Fury said, taking up a more compact gun with a folding stock and a kind of pistol-grip magazine, "It shoots a forty-five caliber bullet, unlike that antique gun. Its more-compact design means that I can maneuver with it much better in tight spaces."

_To help settle the debate on which submachine gun is more lethal, our experts will simulate a building raid. Both will have to take out two sentries, one guard around the corner, and a lead officer in the quarters._

_Olivier will go first with the MP18…_

Armstrong loaded an MP18 with a thirty-two round clip, then focused on her goal: killing two guards at the entryway.

"Armstrong, you ready?" Steel called.

"Ready!"

"Three…two…one…STORM IT!"

Armstrong peered down her submachine gun's barrel before unleashing a pair of three-round bursts at the first guard, landing a series of bullet wounds on it. She quickly turned her sights onto the next one, pumping it with a quick burst from the MP18 and dyeing its clothes crimson with blood.

Armstrong, sure that her two targets were dead now, lifted her foot and proceeded to kick the door of the building open. With lightning-quick reflexes, she turned the corner and nailed the soldier target inside with a hail of bullets.

Once that dummy was taken down, she stormed over to the door, kicked it open, then gave the officer at the desk one quick look before raising her gun and nailing him with whatever remained of her ammo.

"Nice shooting, Armstrong." Lunatic said as the team went in to inspect the damage.

"First guy you shot, you nailed him multiple times in his chest. One of the bullets actually strayed and struck his arm, but you hit him in the upper bicep. That means you could hit his brachial artery and he'd bleed out from that wound in under an hour. The guy next to him, he's got bullet holes in his face, his shoulders, and his chest." Ray said, then moved the group inside to show them the guard inside.

"This guy is toast. I mean, you kicked the door down, catching him completely by surprise, and you peppered him with a good burst round. All in the abdominal region, spilling his fluids and getting all kinds of nasty stuff in his guts. He's going to die a slow and sickening death."

"What about the main target?" Lunatic asked, peering into the room. Only then did he discover the fate of the target. "Dang…just…dang."

"Dang is right, Loon." Steel said, looking at the room, which had a blood-red spot right behind the main target's head, "The single hit blew the guy's head open. You splattered his brains all over the wall. I mean, I'm no doctor or anything, but…holy CRAP, man. Holy crap!"

"Thanks to the greater range of this gun, I could pick off the guards from a relatively safe distance." Armstrong said, holding up the MP18, "I'd like to see Captain America do better."

"We've got a better grip on our gun and it hits with greater stopping power." Fury said, holding up his Grease Gun.

_The next test: Fury will do the same with the M3 "Grease Gun"._

Nick Fury, fully dressed in military camo, loaded a box-magazine into the Grease Gun, then extended its extendable stock before pressing mentioned stock firmly against his shoulder.

"Nick, you ready?" Steel called.

"Yeah, I'm ready."

"Three…two…one…MOVE OUT!"

Fury moved in closer, then aimed his Grease Gun and fired a hail of .45 caliber bullets at the two dummies. Once he was sure he had hit them both, he charged forward, rammed the door open, then turned to meet the guard.

A quick pull of the trigger later and the dummy was pelted with a seven-round burst. Fury moved in for the final target, kicked the door down, then pelted the target in question with a barrage of bullets.

"Okay, what I notice is that each of these wounds are slightly larger than those of the MP18." Ray said, removing one dummy's shirt, "This guy is peppered, almost head-to-hip with bullets. Heck, you didn't spare anyone, even his partner here. You just got in, peppered them both, then barged in."

"All part of the training." Fury said with a nod, "We need a job done quickly and we delivered."

"The guy inside is dead, too." Ray said as the team moved inside, "You hit his gut first and just climbed up his body from there. And as for the final guy in the office here, He's got kill shots on him, but not a whole lot. You used twelve rounds, but only seven of them hit. Guess those forty-five cal bullets are pretty hard to control."

"Just a little, but I can control it a lot better with the magazine acting as a kind of handgrip." Fury said, giving a slight demonstration.

"I think you were a little careless here." Armstrong said, arms folded across her chest, "You had to get much closer than I did to those guards. If I can use this gun at a further distance, you won't get a chance to use that."

"The evidence is right there. I can maneuver it and deliver a harder hit than your gun." Fury countered.

_With our two experts unconvinced, it's up to the trio to decide whose gun gets the edge._

"MP18 vs. Grease Gun…this is a tough decision." Steel said, meaning each word, "But if I had to stake my life on one gun, I'd take the one with the greater range. It has similar stopping power to the Grease Gun, but can hit from more than twenty yards further. Distance and slightly more controllable fire means that I'm giving the edge to the MP18."

_In mid-range weapons, the edge goes to Fuhrer King Bradley and the MP18._

_Coming up, the fight gets up close and personal as both pack their pistols and their iconic melee weapons..._

_Captain America, or Fuhrer King Bradley? If these two super soldiers were to butt heads, who would come out on top?_

Our Captain America experts believe that their main man will prevail because of his tenacity, clear-headed approach to combat, and stamina.

"Cap won't just give up on a fight." Wolverine said, shaking his head, "Even if he's the last man standing, he's going to keep going until he himself goes down. And the chances of him doing that are very, VERY slim."

_In comparison, our Bradley experts believe that the fuhrer's cold-blooded approach and astonishing fighting skill will give him the necessary advantage._

"Bradley is ferocious." Armstrong said, sternly, "Because he thinks very little of those he fights, it makes it so much easier for him to slit their throats. And the fact that he WILL do it without hesitation will install fear in his enemies' minds and slow them down, making them easier to kill."

_So far, the weapons are neck-and-neck with rifles and submachine guns. Now that they've stormed the city, it's time to get up-close and personal. Both sides now enter a building and pull out their pistols._

_Captain America brings the Colt M1911: a gun so widely-used, it's still used to this day._

Colt M1911  
Size: 8in  
Weight: 2.4lbs  
Ammunition: .45 cal  
Rounds: 7  
Range: 150ft

"At last." Ray said, holding up a black pistol with a brown handgrip, "The classic semi-auto pistol."

"It's been used in both World Wars and it's still used to this day." Wolverine said, taking the gun back, "The reason it's well-known and used is because it uses a forty-five caliber bullet. It packs a lot more punch than a nine-millimeter, so it can kill with one shot if you're good enough with it."

_Bradley also brings a semi-automatic pistol of his own, one the experts say is more accurate._

_The Steyr 1912: in the hands of an Amestris Soldier, it's a one-two punch._

Steyr 1912  
Size: 8.5"  
Weight: 2.6lbs  
Ammunition: 9mm  
Rounds: 8  
Range: 150ft

"This is the Steyr." Rebecca said, holding up a more silvery pistol, "It does use smaller bullets than America's gun, but it does boost its accuracy and allows for you to get more shots downrange because of less kick."

"Okay, it's time to decide which is better: stopping power or accuracy." Lunatic said, taking the group out to the range, "We have five guys down there and you'll each have two magazines to burn. Rebecca, you're up first with the Steyr."

_To test each pistol's effectiveness in a close-quarter battle, our team has simulated a hallway leading to an officer's quarters. Each team will have two magazines to burn._

Rebecca, uneasily, loaded the Steyr with an eight-round clip. But she had to load it by pulling the ejection mechanism and forcing the rounds down into it. Once she had properly loaded the gun, she held it at a ready at the corner of the hallway.

"Rebecca, you ready?" Steel asked.

"Ready."

"THREE! TWO! ONE! GO!"

Rebecca turned the corner, then fired three rounds at the first dummy, creating a tight cluster of bullet holes in his chest. She fired two more at the second, both in the abdominal region.

Rebecca moved, swiftly, down the hall, then turned a corner to meet the second corner and fired two rounds at one of them and fired a third at the second one before the gun clicked empty. Rebecca sighed, then hid behind the corner and began the difficult reload process again.

The process earned her a few negative responses from both the scientists and the Captain America experts.

After the painful reload, Rebecca planted two rounds into the dummy she had missed, making sure it was dead this time. She moved on to the simulated officer's quarters, kicked the door down, then pumped the officer stand-in with whatever bullets she had left in her gun.

"Done!" Rebecca called, emerging from the room.

_Now, it's Team America's turn to dish out death with the Colt 1911…_

Fury took up a Colt pistol, then loaded a box magazine into its stock, located in the gun's handle. It seemed a lot simpler than the Steyr's reload method.

"Nick, you ready?" Steel called.

"Ready!"

"Three! Two! One! STORM IT!"

Fury moved fast, aimed his gun at the first of the two dummies. While he fired the bullets slightly slower, the damage was undeniable. Two bullets hit the first dummy full in the chest while one hit the target full in the face.

Fury moved past the first two dummies, then turned a corner and fired two rounds each at both. When his gun clicked empty, he reloaded in what seemed like a much more comfortable and time-saving method.

With the guards well out of the way, Fury barged into the room, aimed his pistol, and planted four rounds into the officer stand-in.

"Done!"

_With the shootout finished, our experts examine the results of both handguns._

Ray went over to the dummy stand-ins, then peeled their shirts to reveal the bullet wounds inflicted on both.

"Okay, what we see here is that the Steyr's rounds are a little more accurate and form a tighter grouping." Ray said, "All are either in the gut or in the chest. In comparison to Nick's targets, it took him a little longer to get rounds off, but he actually made a more sizeable wound with just one shot."

"On terms of damage done with their guns, I think they're even." Lunatic pointed out, "One gets more shots out faster while the other deals good damage with just one shot. For me, the deciding factor is reload time. Putting a magazine into the stock of a gun is much more time-saving than shoving the rounds in with a clip and through the top."

"Edge: Colt?" Steel asked.

"Edge: Colt." Ray and Loon agreed.

_In close-range weapons, Captain America gets the edge with the Colt 1911._

_But pistols aren't their only methods of close-quarter combat. Both Bradley and America share one thing: both relish in melee combat. Their method of combat relies on metal, not bullets._

_Bradley's choice weapon for melee combat is the Infantry Saber: three feet of carbon-steel cutting power that is both light and strong._

"If Bradley wanted to kill you, he wouldn't use a gun. He'd put your blood on this blade, instead." Armstrong said, unsheathing a long, thin blade from her belt.

The sword was typical of late nineteenth- to early twentieth- century design. It had a black grip decorated with a gilded handguard, and the blade itself was three feet long, straight, and had a single edge that glimmered in the light.

"It's light, so you can carry it all day and not tire." Armstrong said, demonstrating a few maneuvers with the sword, "And it's durable, so it won't break easily. It can go straight through plate armor, no problem."

"Well, Armstrong, we have just the test for you." Steel said, gesturing to a gel torso, "We've got a torso for you that'll simulate human flesh and bone. What will you do with this sword?"

Armstrong smirked. "I think I'll shred it."

The team stepped back while Olivier took up a fighter stance, pointing the sword at the dummy like an accusing finger.

"Armstrong, you ready?" Steel called.

"Ready." She replied with a cold smirk.

"Three! Two! One! CUT IT!"

Olivier stepped forward and thrust the sword's tip into the dummy's shoulder region a little past the neck. She pulled it back out, then stepped forward again to slash it across the throat, dyeing its front red with blood from severed arteries. Another slash found its way to the dummy's gut, shortly followed by another and another. She stabbed the torso again, this time in the gut, then stepped back and gave a satisfactory nod.

"You said you'd shred him and you delivered." Ray said, looking over the torso.

"His stomach looks like chopped salad." Lunatic said in slight shock.

"The first stab was in his shoulder muscle. This has the potential to be lethal because there's an important vessel in the shoulder that is fatal if severed." Ray said, then gestured to the cut across the throat, "Then she followed up with a cut to the throat. That'll sever his windpipe AND his carotid arteries in one fell swoop.

"Finally, you ripped his stomach open and proceeded to spill his guts across the floor. And as a finishing blow, you put the sword into his chest and it emerged from his back." Ray said, finishing up quickly, "You killed this guy five times before he hit the ground. That requires strength, stamina, and speed to deliver such powerful wounds in so short a span of time."

"This sword CAN get through plate armor." Olivier reminded, then added, "Makes it a lot easier when it's out of the way."

_The sword sheds blood, but Team Captain America isn't packing it in._

"Do you really think that Cap will just stand there and let Bradley butcher him?" Wolverine asked in disbelief.

"Do YOU think that Captain America will want to get within three feet of Bradley?" Olivier countered.

"If you want to get to Captain America, you'll have to get past his best weapon." Wolverine pointed out, then held up a circular shield emblazoned with red and white stripes, a blue center, and a white star at its center.

_Captain America's calling card is his Shield: a two-and-a-half-foot disc that is light, durable, and virtually indestructible._

Shield  
Size: 2.5' diameter  
Weight: 4lbs  
Substance: Steel-Vibranium alloy

"This shield has kept Cap safe in every battle he's ever been in." Fury said as Wolverine strapped the shield onto his arm, "And if Bradley comes in, he'll have to get past this shield to kill Cap. Not an easy task because if he gets that close, Cap will do one of two things. He'll either hit him with the front of the shield and knock him on his pants or hit him with the rim and break his neck."

_To test the impact of the shield on a human body, Wolverine will take a shot at a ballistics gel torso to simulate the effect on a human body._

Wolverine, with Captain America's shield strapped to his arm, faced a gel torso with the look of a feral beast in his eye.

"You're obviously ready. Three! Two! One! SMASH IT!"

Wolverine roared, then slammed the shield's front into the torso's face with a resounding mix of a "thud" and a "crunch". He then pulled the shield back, turned it slightly, then slammed it, rim-first, into the torso's head with a resounding "clang".

"Okay, the first strike was NOT a kill shot." Ray said, looking over footage of the strike, "But if both of you were moving and you hit this guy with your shield, you'd probably break a rib, break his nose, and leave him disoriented.

"The frontal strike was not the kill shot, though. When you hit the head with the rim of the shield, you would do a multitude of things with just that one strike." Ray said, watching as the dummy's head twisted at an odd angle on impact with the shield's rim, "You're going to compress or fracture the skull and, with the force provided, you can easily break his neck."

"I'm still not buying it." Rebecca stated, "You have to get THAT close to Bradley if you want to hit him with that shield. If you're that close to him, you'll drown in your own blood."

"Bradley will have to get past this shield if he wants to kill Captain America. I'd like to see him try." Wolverine challenged.

_Feeling confident, Team America sets Team Bradley up with a challenge: Bradley's sword and handgun vs. Captain America's Shield._

Olivier stood in front of Captain America's shield, sword at the ready and a handgun holstered on her belt.

"GO!"

Olivier stepped forward, swiftly, then swung the sword in a diagonal slash. The sword struck, leaving a trail of sparks in its wake. On seeing that it didn't hurt the shield, Olivier pulled the sword back and thrust it at the shield's center.

She was least expecting the sword to bend on impact and actually snap off six inches off its tip.

Groaning in disdain, Olivier stepped back, took out the handgun, and emptied it on the shield.

Not one penetrated.

"Wow." Steel said, in astonishment, "Aside from some chipped pain on this shield, it's…completely untouched. Not even the bullets left a scratch."

"That's because this shield is a one-of-a-kind metal." Nick Fury explained, "It's a mixture of steel and vibranium. The vibranium absorbs vibrations and impacts very easily. In other words, striking that shield is WORSE than disastrous."

"I hate to break it to you, Bradley Experts, but Fury is right. If that sword hits the shield, it's a disaster just waiting to happen." Lunatic explained, "Because, in a straight-up, drawn out battle, that sword will not last as long as the shield. Edge to Captain America."

_In Special Weapons, Captain America's shield gives him the edge._

_After a long week of testing, we're finally ready to see who is the deadliest super soldier: Captain America or Fuhrer King Bradley?_

_We tested four weapons used by Bradley to slaughter his enemies: the Gewehr rifle, MP18 submachine gun, Steyr pistol, and Infantry Saber._

_We also tested four weapons in the arsenal of Captain America: the M1 Garand rifle, M3 submachine gun, Colt pistol, and Shield._

_In long-range weapons, the Gewehr 98 butted heads with the M1 Garand._

"The Gewehr has range on its side, but when it comes to putting rounds downwind and stamina, the M1 is the more advanced and more reliable gun."

**Edge: Captain America**

_In mid-range combat, both teams duked it out with the MP18 and the M3 "Grease Gun"._

"The Grease Gun is more compact and has better stopping power, but the range and rate of fire of the MP18 made the difference here. Twenty yards is more than enough distance to make a difference."

**Edge: King Bradley**

_In close-range weapons, the Steyr 1912 was pitted against the Colt 1911._

"Both have similar magazine capacities and similar range, but I have to give the edge to the Colt pistol. Reason being that it has greater stopping power and an easier method of reloading. The reload of the Steyr is uncomfortable and time-consuming while the Colt is easier and takes a lot less time."

**Edge: Captain America**

_Finally, in special weapons, Captain America's shield stood its ground against King Bradley's infantry saber._

"Bradley's saber broke when it tried penetrating the shield, and bullets will do about as good a job as the sword: nothing at all. Edge to the shield."

**Edge: Captain America**

_With all the test data in hand, Lunatic will run the data into a computer simulation that will ultimately decide the victor. To prevent a lucky bullet from snaring defeat, Lunatic sets the battle to run a thousand times._

_Captain America…Fuhrer King Bradley…WHO IS DEADLIEST?_

"Well, it's time to find out who lives and who dies. So, let's fire it up." Lunatic said, then pressed the "enter" key.

-the fight-

It was a peaceful day in Central city, the capital of Amestris. Inside a massive, ivory-colored building, a number of soldiers from the Elite Amestris army went on with their day. Two were on patrol just outside while the Fuhrer himself, King Bradley, sat at his desk, looking over paperwork.

But something was amiss today, and this building would soon become a battleground with the emergence of five soldiers.

A group of American soldiers silently crept through the city, taking whatever cover they could find, guns in hand and at the ready for any enemy fire. Their leader was clad in a uniform decorated with red, white, and blue. On this man's back was a disc-shaped shield with similar colors. It was none other than the Super Soldier himself: Captain America.

Bradley: 5  
America: 5

Captain America's team silently made their way towards the grand building, but had the stairway in sight when one of the Amestris soldiers took notice. He took up his Gewehr rifle, aimed, then fired.

Immediately, one of the invading soldiers fell with a bullet hole through his neck.

Bradley: 5  
America: 4

One of the GI's saw his comrade fall, then shouted, "CAP!"

Captain America looked ahead, then saw two of the Amestris soldiers pointing their rifles at them. He ordered all to take cover and they did, finding cover behind alleyway corners, out of harm's way.

Cap took a mirror from his pocket, then used it to help him peer around the corner. He could see them now. He looked to a soldier hiding with him, then nodded. Mentioned soldier nodded back, then took his M1 Garand and signaled to a soldier in an alleyway across the street.

After receiving a confirming nod from the soldier, the first one emerged, aimed his M1 and fired. He moved quickly, avoiding a shot from both. When he turned around to aim again, he saw them working a bolt mechanism and fired again.

The Amestris soldier fell with a pained grunt, then lay motionless with a bullet wound through his chest.

Bradley: 4  
America: 4

The second Amestris soldier saw his dead comrade, then turned tail and ran for cover. He had to alert everyone else in the building.

Captain America saw him retreat, then shouted, "Take him down!"

The soldiers nodded, then aimed their M1s and their Grease Guns and opened fire. However, the Amestris soldier was running in a zigzag pattern and taking cover behind the many pillars that decorated the vast yard.

He finally saw a soldier on duty and made a mad dash for him, shouting, "We're under attack! We're under attack!"

A split-second later and the screaming soldier went down from a hail of bullets from a Grease Gun.

Bradley: 3  
America: 4

The Amestris soldier was shocked at what he had seen, then spotted the approaching soldiers. He made for the entryway to the grand building. He turned, briefly, then aimed his MP18 and rained a hail of bullets on them.

While many avoided getting hit, one unfortunate soldier was nailed through the chest and fell backward to land with a "thud".

Bradley: 3  
America: 3

The soldier burst through the door, then saw an emergency switch and pulled it with all his strength. Almost immediately, a loud, echoing ring was coursing through the building.  
Bradley and a bodyguard in his quarters perked up at the sound, then got out as fast as they could, taking weapons in hand.

The Amestris soldier sprinted up the stairs as fast as his legs would carry him and, soon, he had backup. Bradley and his bodyguard had showed up, each packing Steyr pistols. Captain America quickly took out his shield and a bullet ricocheted off its surface.

Captain America's two remaining soldiers continued to fire back at the Amestris soldiers, one with an M1 and one with a Colt 1911.

After hitting nothing with a few shots, Bradley's bodyguard ran out of rounds. As he stepped back to, awkwardly, try and reload his gun, one of Cap's soldiers fired his own gun and struck the guard down with a clean shot to the neck.

Bradley: 2  
America: 3

Bradley's pistol also ran dry, but the one remaining soldier used his MP18 to hail down on the pistol-bearing ally of Captain America. The man fell to his knees as bullets pelted him in the chest and gut, then slumped, lifelessly to the ground.

Bradley: 2  
America: 2

The Amestris soldier's submachine gun clicked empty. He removed the empty clip, but as he was about to take out a new one, Captain America removed his shield from his arm, took it in his other hand, then lobbed it like a discus. The shield whistled through the air, cut clean through the wooden railing, and struck the solder full in the head. The man's neck twisted sharply, breaking on impact with the shield, and he slumped to the ground, lifelessly.

Bradley: 1  
America: 2

Bradley sprang down from the balcony, landed on his feet with the grace of a cat, then drew his sword and charged the two. He was aiming for Captain America, but it came as no surprise to him that the remaining soldier took his M1 Garand and tried to smash it into his face.

Bradley ducked under the strike, then turned to face him. He stepped back to evade another swipe, then brought his sword down and cleaved the rifle in two. A split-second later, the soldier had a gash in his throat that began dyeing his clothes crimson.

He fell, drowning in his own blood.

Bradley: 1  
America: 1

Bradley turned with a fierce gleam in his eye to face Captain America. The super soldier's shield whistled back to him, which he caught and fastened back to his arm. Thanks to an angle he had thrown his shield, it would come back like a boomerang.

Bradley took his sword while Captain America took up a defensive position and then, in a split-second, both moved.

Bradley swung his saber at Cap's legs, which Captain America backed away from. Bradley swung again only to meet Captain America's shield. The sword struck, leaving a trail of sparks in its wake as it slid off the shield's surface.

Captain America lashed out with his shield only to see Bradley spring clean into the air and land behind him. Captain America turned fast, raising his shield again and deflecting another sword strike from Bradley.

Bradley saw that his slashes did nothing, then got an idea. He feigned a slash at Cap's legs and it worked. The super soldier blocked low, then saw that he had been suckered. He avoided a slash to his face so narrowly that Bradley's sword nicked him across the cheek.

Captain America charged forward with his shield, slamming right into Bradley's front and knocking him back. Bradley staggered, regaining his balance quickly, then thrust with his sword…big mistake.

The sword bent as it hit Captain America's raised shield. Combined with Captain America's forward-going momentum and the sword itself just couldn't take any more.

It snapped.

Bradley glanced at the stump of his sword for one split-second before the remnant of the blade was smacked out of his hand by Captain America's shield.

Cap followed up fast with a solid right hook to Bradley's face, stunning the Fuhrer and disorienting him. And, too fast for Bradley to react to, Cap used his shield arm and smashed it into his head, rim-first. Bradley tumbled to the ground, the right side of his head emitting a steady trickle of blood.

Captain America nudged his downed enemy with his foot. No response.

Bradley: 0  
America: 1

Captain America stood back, then raised his shield-arm into the air and emitted a roar in victory.

-end fight-

**Winner: Captain America**

"After a thousand battles, Captain America emerged victorious with fifty-five-point-eight percent," Lunatic explained, "comparised to Bradley's forty-four-point-two. This was mostly due to the weapon advancement in thirty years. Cap's weapons were able to kill effectively at all distances while Bradley's only potent weapon was the MP18."

Captain America Kills:  
M1 Garand: 301  
Grease Gun: 213  
Colt Pistol: 27  
Shield: 11  
Total Kills: 552

King Bradley Kills:  
Gewehr 98: 176  
MP18: 247  
Steyr Pistol: 16  
Saber: 9  
Total Kills 448

"If this episode shows anything, it shows that the advancement in technology CAN make a difference if it's done well enough." Ray expressed, "I feel that Bradley put up a valiant fight, but WWI and WWII weapons were for different styles of war. Cap got the better battle weapons."

"Hmph." Olivier huffed, "While I lost my bet, I'm glad Bradley went down."

"Cap won't give up on his team." Fury said, voice brimming with confidence, "He won't stop fighting until his enemy is down and, if you combine that with his abilities as a super soldier, it makes him the Deadliest Warrior."

(Captain America saluted in front of an American flag, his shield planted, firmly, in the ground in front of him.)

_With apologies to FMA fans…_


End file.
